It's the first time that everyone's presence is required at the Victory Tour. The gamemakers thought it would be best to have everyone participating after the mess they made with that dam which ended the game abruptly and killed everyone in the game except Annie Cresta. It's a distraction.
Effie groaned when she was first informed of the news. She badly wants the season to be over but now, it's not possible since the Capitol wants to drag everyone to every district of Panem. She's feeling under the weather, probably due to hours of crying the night before. She's fried and quite numb. She worked on the usual paperwork needed after both of her tributes died…again.
"Isn't it a bit early for that?" Haymitch asked.
She knows he spent the night in her room. He probably did not get any sleep at all. He had lost them too but she cannot bring herself to comfort him, not right now.
"Even machines need some sort of fuel to work", she muttered.
He wanted to go back to Twelve and drown himself with alcohol but one look at Effie and he's somewhat grateful for the mandatory attendance to the Victory Tour because it gave him the excuse to stay with her during the season break. She's not doing well and he's worried she will make a mistake in the process. At the same time, he's not doing so well either and being sober does not sit well for him in this kind of situation. He longs for the taste of bitterness on his tongue and that familiar burn in his throat to make him forget for a little while but he cannot exactly be there for Effie if he's hammered.
"Let me help you with that", he said and sat next to her.
She frowned at him, surprised by his initiative.
"Since when you become so interested with paperwork, Haymitch?" she asked.
At least, that tone he can recognize. She's not totally shutting down. She's grieving and it's normal.
"I'm bored, princess, and I am sober. Don't get used to it", he answered and feigned a look of boredom which made her smile a little.
"If this is what it takes for you to help me with work, I would have cut you off your alcohol supply since day one", she teased.
…and they proceeded to work together.
The Victory Tour kicked off at District 4, the Victor's hometown. It was hot and not everyone is interested to see Annie Cresta. She lacks the charm Finnick has so the other Victor did his best to share his spotlight with the girl. Effie first thought that the boy was just simply fond of his tribute since he's her Mentor but soon, it was clear to her. He loves her. She does not know what to do with that information. Is it supposed to make her feel better that at the very least, Finnick was able to have his girl back or is it supposed to make her mad or at least envious because she failed to get one her kids back?
She wallowed in her packs of cigarette. She smoked whenever she can and she stopped bothering hiding it. Normally, she would frown at such behavior in public but desperate times, desperate measures. She needs something to take the edge off and cigarette is all she can have right now. Haymitch is there for her. She is aware of that but she fails to make the connection to any other human being right now. She feels distant and detached, like she's out of her body.
By the time they reached Twelve, Haymitch is already drunk and she reeks of nicotine. They are both having hard time coping and going back to Bran and Grace's hometown just made it more real to them. They're gone just like the others. They're dead.
They stood side by side on stage as Annie recited her speech to the people of District Twelve. Effie's eyes are fixed on the images of Bran and Grace across the stage, their mother standing there…alone. The two kids got her eyes. She can see them both clearly in their mother's eyes and she did not expect how hard it hit her. When their eyes connected, her vision blurred. It feels like the air is getting sucked out of her lungs, making it harder to breathe. Mrs. Locksmith's eyes blurred too before the tears fell down her cheeks. That's when she felt Haymitch's tight gripped on her back. It pulled her back from having a complete meltdown on stage while Annie was talking. She breathed deep and slowly to compose herself but it's hard to do with the crying woman on her line of sight with the pictures of her two dead kids above her.
"Look away", he whispered and she understood what he meant.
She averted her eyes and tried to focus on one of the buildings. There's nothing remarkable about that building but she's not looking for something remarkable. She just wants to look at anything that will not remind her of Bran and Grace.
After the program, Effie had excused herself to go to the bathroom, leaving Haymitch at the hallway of Justice Building. That was close, too close. If he's a little more drunk than he is, he wouldn't have noticed her and she would have cried on stage for everyone to see.
"Haymitch…"
He turned around and saw Martha Locksmith with her sore eyes.
"Martha…I am sorry. I, we did everything—"
"I know. I know, Haymitch. No one has ever reached that far in the games after you. I know my kids. They're not going to be able to do that if it was not for your help…and hers", she cut him off.
They looked at each other and understood she meant his escort.
"She cared about them, Martha, more than I can actually say…allowed to say", he muttered.
The grieving woman nodded.
"I know that too. I am good at reading people, Haymitch. I saw it from the moment she saw them. I was so scared for them but when I saw the way she looked at the, it helped a little. I knew they're in good hands", she took something out of her pocket and handed it to him. "It's Grace's. Her father made it for her and Bran traded for the charms over the years with anything he could find in the woods as gift for his sister. Can you give it to Ms. Trinket?" she asked.
Haymitch frowned. People of Twelve hate his escort. It's no secret. They hate anything Capitol but this woman who just lost her kids after Effie reaped them both in one season is giving one thing that belonged to her children to his escort.
"Are you sure? It's your kids', Martha. Surely, Trinket got a lot of blings already", he asked.
Martha smiled at him.
"My kids would want her to have this. She's not like the others…everyone here can see it", she stepped closer to him, "Don't let anyone else see it", she whispered.
She stepped back and put the bracelet in his hand. If the people of Twelve can see that, it means those who are not supposed to see it already did. He felt fear crept up in his chest.
"I won't", he replied and the woman nodded and said her goodbye to him.
At the train, he found her at her usual spot when smoking. This time, she's nursing his drink.
"You hate that bottle", he mentioned.
She scoffed and took a big gulp.
"I hate everything about my life right now so it's quite alright. I hate this train. I hate this routine. I hate this job. I hate—" he covered her mouth with his hand to stop her from finishing her mindless rambling.
She's drunk and she's not careful when she's drunk.
"Stop doing stupid things", he snapped and pulled her to his room.
It's not bugged. He checked and therefore, safe to talk freely.
"How come you're not a mess right now? You're usually the first one to get wasted", she asked as he took the bottle from her and put out her cigarette on one of the vases in his room.
"You're doing a good job at that for the both of us already. One of us has to keep a clear head or we will both end up dead", he snapped.
She gave him a guilty look.
"Sorry…I'm normally at faking it but…their faces were right there. Their mother was…I couldn't— it was hard to breathe…" she explained.
Guilt is eating her up. Seeing Martha Locksmith earlier just made it worse for her. She felt like she had taken away her children from her and in a way, she did. She was the one who picked their names.
"Here", he handed her a charm bracelet. "She wanted you to have it…Martha Locksmith", he said.
Effie stared at the bracelet long and hard. At first, he thought she does not like it. She may have the heart of gold but she grew up in Capitol. She's used to expensive jewelries.
"It's Grace's", her fingers trailed at the charms and laughed when she found a horse charm. "…this one's from Bran I supposed. He's the one who liked horses so much", she muttered.
It's impressive how much she knows about the Locksmith's siblings. It's scary even for Haymitch. Escorts are not supposed to get to know their tributes that well, not on that level.
"I can't tell you to stop blaming yourself because I am still working on that but I can tell you to hide it, sweetheart. Don't let them see it. Just think of Bran and Grace, if you really cared for them…"
"You know I do", she snapped.
"Then, play along in order to stay alive. Don't waste your life because it would be an insult to those who lost theirs already. The kids wouldn't want you to get yourself killed because of them and you know that. Get it together, Effie, please…" when he uses her first name like that, she knows he's deadly serious, "You almost lost it earlier and everyone saw it", he pleaded.
She clings to the bracelet and recalled how both Bran and Grace asked them to watch out for another in case one of them did not make it because they did not want their sibling to be sad. That's how selfless they were. Haymitch was right. They wouldn't want her to be like this. It would upset them.
"I'm sorry. I will work better on hiding it", she apologized.
"You better", he replied.
She handed him the bracelet back.
"Could you put it on me? My hands are shaking at the moment", she requested.
Haymitch can think of a number of reasons why she shouldn't wear it but for tonight, he did not say anything and put it on her arm.
"Looks good on you…" he muttered.
It really does. It complimented her pale complexion.
"Sleep with me", he raised a brow and she rolled her eyes, "Just sleep, no funny business", she clarified.
"Here I thought, I will get lucky tonight", he teased.
They cleaned up at the bathroom before settling on her bed. They both know by the time she wakes up, he will be gone from the room. He is not risking hurting her when he gets the daily nightmares but he wants to be there for her until she falls asleep.
"Victory Tour is not over yet. I don't know how we're going to get through it with smile on our faces. I know it's not their fault but I couldn't even look at Annie Cresta and Finnick without feeling sad or angry", she admitted.
Haymitch thought that much. She has been avoiding Finnick since the Victory Tour started. She talked to Mags but not to the boy. He knows she realized too what Annie meant to Finnick and that made it harder to accept the death of those kids for her. She's mad and she's envious.
"We push through, just like what we always do. First, we need to change the way they see us, princess", he said.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Everyone can see how much you care for Twelve, sweetheart, and they can all see how much I care for you. Look at me, I am sober. Since when I was this sober for Victory Tour, princess? We're getting noticed. We need to change that", he answered.
They're sticking out like a sore thumb and if they keep that up, Snow will be on their asses soon enough.
"You're going to be a pain in the ass again", she concluded.
He chuckled.
"Princess, language", he chided which earned him a slap on his shoulder.
"You're a bad influence Haymitch Abernathy. That's what you are", she remarked.
Perhaps, he is. Maybe he's a bad influence for her because he's putting her life at risk.
"I think we both are bad influences to each other as far as they are concern", he responded.