CHAPTER 31 - Billboards and signs.

BPOV

Previously...

I just pulled her in for a kiss. I swear everything in my body screamed for her. She was addictive. If there was a perfect woman made for me... it would be her.

She is the girl of my dreams.

This Chapter...

After we finally pulled away from each other, we both decided it's getting late and we should head back to our homes.

I couldn't stop smiling at this amazing man. He completed me.

We were getting into the car, and I didn't want Edward to drive just yet because I did not want this night to end. As if Edward just read my mind -

"Bella... I don't think I want this date to be over... it was truly amazing."

"Ditto." I had no idea what to say other than that... plus my cheeks probably already gave my feelings away.

He looked over at me and smirked.

"Ok then... let me try to stretch my luck as much as I possibly can. So we did talk a lot about our past relationships and us in general... but what about the future? I mean you are obviously very talented... but you must have some sort of goals or plans."

"Yeah... in fact I do - I have already wanted to have my own graphic designing firm... it is my dream, or rather the final piece of my puzzle - to show others that I'm much more than I think I am... what about you? I feel that you've already achieved whatever you wanted to... of course you're expanding but soon that will already be done as well."

"I mean props to you for already knowing what you want... it's amazing. But also yeah... I want to expand globally as well... provided that the gyms do well. Plus I wanted to branch out as well... like into sports wear and gear or at least stuff like that... but I'm definitely waiting to see how this goes first..."

"That's amazing Edward... man I never imagined traveling myself... I mean I would love to expand my graphic design company if I ever become that big... big I don't think I see myself join worldwide... you know what I mean..."

"I get that Bella... but like you had a vision... I want this company to become a sort of brand. I was always into business and entrepreneurship... so me not doing this would be weird for me..."

There was never a doubt that I would eventually own a graphic designing and marketing firm... but Edward's view was suddenly looking very different from mine.

I knew I was second guessing myself. But he wanted to travel, explore, expand... I wanted a cozy work environment, expansions within the country, and I was basically the total opposite.

If we do make this work... would it even be truly possible to continue making this work!? I know I was getting ahead of myself... but I am an over-thinker by nature... I can't change that...

"What about settling down... having a family?? Would that be possible with you traveling frequently?"

"I never really thought about that..." and he mumbled something I couldn't quite understand.

"Sorry I know I seem a bit forward... especially for our first date... I'm just intrigued that's all." Truth was, I was more than just intrigued. As much as it scared me - I saw a future with this man... and now that I'm willing to admit that, his idea of the future doesn't look like it involves anyone or anything else.

I was happy for him... but with rate his expansion was progressing plus his ideas... it didn't look like he would slow down for anybody. And even if he did - he would literally be throwing away his dreams.

"What happened Bella... you seem lost?"

"Umm nothing... we should really get going..."

Edward's expression changed... it became almost unreadable. "yeah I guess..."

The drive back home was long and if I'm being honest a little uncomfortable.

We stopped outside my building... Edward finally spoke up -

"Did I do or say something Bella??"

"No Edward... not really."

"What does that mean..."

Fuck it I might as well tell him...

"Well... I mean when we were talking about our futures... I realized we both want different things and that's great... but if we are serious about this relationship... basically I don't think it's possible to have both".

"Bella... firstly there is no "if we are serious" in this relationship - I think my feelings are pretty much set in stone... I also don't think it is impossible to have both... on top of that - dreams change, people change... what if I don't want something like this anymore, or maybe I want a different version of my dreams now?!"

"Why would you suddenly change your lifelong ambition?"

"Isn't it obvious Bella - for you..."

"That just makes it worse then... as much as the sentiment makes me happy it will not make you happy. Also you will be throwing everything away... you may be happy now... but down the line, you may regret everything."

"Bella I could never regret being with you... I love you... I thought -"

I gasped but I knew -

"I love you too." I had tears in my eyes. I didn't think we would say it so soon.

Edward was beyond happy and was leaning in for a kiss, but I didn't let it happen. He looked at me questioningly -

"I love you Edward... I really do... but I cannot make you decide between your dream and me... I have not been in the picture for that long... you -"

"Listen Bella - I know you're scared... but see a lot of things in life you can plan for... but a lot of other things you definitely cannot. Look we declared our love for each other, even though we said we would wait... Bella is it not enough to just let us be... and figure things out as we go?"

"No... not for me... I'm an over-thinker by nature... I don't think I can live knowing that I took something away from you, that you might later regret."

"Dammit Bella... I would never regret anything, if it included us being together... my plan was never set in stone... Fuck, I just thought of my business one fine day and decided I would do it "because I can..." but you are the one sure thing in my life... you came into my life almost like it was fate... can't you believe in that.. and like I said before - let us figure ourselves out before we try to figure out our future... we love each other -"

"Forget that... our relationship has had so many obstacles from day one... maybe it's not fate but a sign to not be together..?!" I was being a bit harsh - I knew.

"But Bella... I think we overcame every single obstacle... and a lot of these obstacles is what brought us together..."

"I need time Edward... Goodnight" I cut him off before he could say anything. This silly man was willing to risk everything for me... I don't know what to do or think.

Edward looked sad... but didn't say anything. He just nodded and I went back to my apartment without so much as a second glance at him.

I hated how much I hurt him with this conversation... but it was necessary and it gave him and me time to think.

In spite of how we left things - I got a goodnight text from Edward...

I have no idea what to do.

I ended up having a fitful sleep...

It was morning and since I didn't have to go to the gym, I decided to go for a run in a park close by.

There were not many people... as I was running in the park, I saw a billboard... which I had designed for - The FitnessBar...

I was happy that it had finally been put up. I snorted at the irony of this... sign...

The thing that really caught my attention was the wording - everything works out in the end. Figures... it had to be a pun...

There were more words about benefits of working out, but my mind was wrapped around those words.

I was more involved in the formatting and the style of the board that I didn't realize that those were the words that had been put up...

That sign... it maybe is fate? I mean I did tell Edward that all other signs said otherwise... but this actual sign on the billboard couldn't be more clear... I mean it was literally throwing it in my face.

I had been overthinking it... and I hurt Edward because of that. I need to talk to him... now!

I threw on a pair of jeans and a shirt and I drove to Edward's place. I needed to apologize.

I was at his place, but needed to provide details at the reception... he lived in quite a fancy place. I've never been here, but he provided me with the address, in case I needed anything. He always made me feel at ease...

I was such an idiot. The receptionist called Edward to let him know I was here. I was told that I could go up and rushed into the elevator immediately.

The minute the doors opened and I walked out, I saw Edward at the end of the hall, leaning against the wall.

"Hi Bella. Is there something you needed?" He looked tired and sad... I did this. I was so stupid and dumb.

"Yes... I need you Edward... only you."

"But it's not fate... and you always seem to think I will regret us... you are setting us up for failure before we can even be together..." his voice was almost monotonous... like he had given up.

I hadn't.

"No you're right... I think even though I left Riley... part of his words still echo in my head... I feel like I'm useless or worthless. Yes I'm confident, but so much of my confidence is me convincing myself and everyone that I am ok and nothing has happened." I could feel my tears flowing. Edward reached out to hold me -

"I'm sorry Bella. I didn't know-"

"No Edward let me get this out." I stepped back to continue - " I love you so much it hurts... I'm scared because you're nothing like Riley - you are million times better... and if I couldn't make Riley happy... then I don't think I even deserve you... I knew I loved you every time you were there for me as a friend and every time you made me feel comfortable. I love you because you told me I was beautiful and made me feel special, and like I deserved more. And I love you because you don't ask for more... or run away when I act crazy. I just love you." My tears were now running down my cheeks -

"Please... no more -" but I didn't let him finish. He had to know.

"I also think that you're right in saying I do not believe in fate... but I sure as hell believe in signs... and the signs on our new billboard for the gym couldn't be more obvious... I love you Edward and I believe everything works out..."

He finally hugged me and held me tight.

"You're everything to me Bella. You are the girl of my dreams any other dream, can wait. That's what I was trying to tell you before... any life without you in it is meaningless to me..." he paused before saying -

"I love you too Bella... so much. You wouldn't believe it then... but I'm almost certain that I fell in love with you the moment I saw you talk to Emmett... before you even saw me in the gym."

I was stunned at that. I lifted my head to look up at him.

He gently caressed my cheeks and wiped my tears with his thumbs, then he kissed me.

It just felt right.

Fuck the billboards and signs. I knew I was right where I was meant to be.

A/N:

What do you think? Will they finally move forward?

Hope you enjoyed this!