At first I was going to make a rather light and fun chapter inspired by the 'Staged' series; except that I don't have that typical English humour that I find in a lot of British series. And somehow the angst made its way into the chapter and I end up with this. Not that I'm complaining, I love my work and I'm very proud of it. But it wasn't supposed to be like this.

Thank you for all your messages, both public and private. I read them all and reply to some.

I'm writing less at the moment because I'm in a dry spell as far as inspiration is concerned, especially since I've decided to start One Piece again (I skipped a really bad arc, but it's still long), to rewrite my other story set in The Witcher universe; and then I have to study too.

"What are you doing? "

"Pancakes. "

"Why?"

"Why not? "

…

Well, yes. I've had more interesting conversations than this one so far. But since I was alone in the kitchen with Rose; her having her... third cup of tea? She'd made a whole pot of tea anyway; and me making pancake batter, it was really the most relaxed conversation we could have here.

I could feel the pressure of her stare on my neck, and she was probably harsh on me. We were both ready to unleash our worst remarks, which were covered with a venom that made it even more painful. It was thankfully unspoken for both of us that the kitchen was a place of tranquillity and rest; and that any fight was grounds for banishment by the Tardis itself. Food and meals were no joke, especially when I was the one who prepared the majority of the meals we ate here.

Rose couldn't cook for shit and the Doctor had been banned from cooking since he tried to improve my salmon and spinach lasagna by adding some chocolate. Luckily it was only leftovers, but what little was left ended up in the bin.

"Hello girls! " greeted the Doctor cheerfully as he entered the kitchen.

"Yo," I replied simply, cracking the shell of an egg before separating the white from the yolk.

"Hi Doctor."

"Ooh, what are you up to, Alvia?" asked the Doctor as he came closer, almost pressing up against my back.

"Pancakes. "I replied briefly, mixing the egg with the rest of the batter. "A few more minutes and I can begin baking. "

The Doctor tried to dip a finger into the batter to have a taste, but when I caught a glimpse of his hands, I immediately stopped him in his goal.

"Doctor, no. "I growled, turning slightly to look at him.

He was wearing his glasses, the ones that made his look even sexier than usual. He only wore his glasses when he was reading, on rare occasions during our adventures or when he was doing some maintenance in the Tardis. In this instance he had done some repairs, which I suspected were not needed, and his hands were covered with soot and motor oil. I wonder if he really needed those glasses, after all, wasn't he a Time Lord, a biologically superior being compared to a mere human? Anyway, I learned better than questioning the Doctor's taste in fashion or even food. When you are wearing a piece of celery on your lapel you don't judge the taste of the others.

"You don't dip your dirty hands in my dough. "

"I just want a taste! " sulked the Doctor.

"Not with those hands! "

I pushed the Doctor back with my elbow a little roughly but not enough to hurt him. Forced to step back, the Doctor went to the sink to clean his hands as I finished to prepare the paste. Once all the ingredients were incorporated and mixed, the batter having the perfect texture, I turned on the griddle and rubbed some oil against the pancake pan with a piece of paper cloth. When the pan became hot, I poured three times some batter on it. And so, for about fifteen minutes I was busy baking my pancakes, patting the Doctor's hand as he moved from time to time towards the warm, appetising mound just waiting to be devoured.

"Ta-ta-ta, Doctor! I haven't finished baking them. You'll wait like everyone else. "

The Doctor made a sort of whimpering noise that undoubtedly reminded me of a puppy needing love and attention, and sat down beside Rose, pouring himself a cup of tea, pouting.

"You're a Time Lord, you'd think you could wait at least a few minutes. " laughed Rose after a sip of her cooling tea.

I giggled lightly as the Doctor argued back and forth with Rose and disagreed with her. Whilst they both bickered, I took the opportunity to finish cooking the remaining pancakes on the pan. I could understand the Doctor's impatience to eat them, the smell made my mouth water and I couldn't wait to eat them.

"Do we have any jams or chocolate spreads? "

"You mean Nutella?" suggested Rose.

"If we could have something other than that palm oil stuff that would be nice. "

"What?"

"Nutella is made of approximately twenty percent of palm oil," I explained.

"Yes and?"

"Not only does it cause health problems such as obesity and heart conditions, it also causes the deforestation of forests in Brazil and India, leaving species such as the orangutan homeless. "

"Oh... I didn't know."

"That's a scandal that won't happen for a few years on Earth." tried the Doctor to reassure Rose.

"I admit that I didn't follow the news that much at the time when it happened to me, so I couldn't give the exact year..." I said simply, shrugging. "Anyway, between the ecological problems, wars and attacks... the world isn't a peaceful place..."

A sudden snort came from my lips as I imagined a new major crisis raging on my world.

"I wouldn't be at all surprised if a global pandemic emerged over the next few years."

"Blimey! Your world sounds really shitty," Rose commented.

"You can talk! From what I've seen yours isn't much better. At least I have got no alien invasions happening about every three months throughout the human race's history."

"Aanywaaay!" interrupted the Doctor suddenly. "I don't know about the spread, but I know we have some jam here."

"Oh definitely, because I saw you eating it after sticking two fingers in it yesterday morning. " teased Rose, a smile stretching her lips.

"Oh, Doctor really? that is disgusting! "I exclaimed as I turned to him, empty pan in hand. "And really gross to the next person who wants to eat jam. "

The Doctor muttered something incomprehensible in his beard while Rose giggled and almost choked on her tea. I turned off the fire, put the pan back down and picked up the plate of pancakes with both hands and took it to the table for all to see.

"There you go, you're free to eat them."

The Doctor thanked me very sincerely and quickly grabbed one and promptly stuffed it into his mouth. He seemed to be in deep reflection as he chewed the pancake; and once he finished swallowing it, he looked at me, his brown eyes shining brightly. A happy smile spread across his lips as he congratulated me about the pancakes.

"Rassilon! It's delicious, Alvia! " he said with sincerity.

Rose mumbled a 'not bad' between bites and I felt myself smile, pride and joy blooming in my chest.

"No need to add any extra, it would spoil the natural taste of the pancake! What is it anyway? "

"Oh, flour, yeast, milk, egg, a bit of oil and some cane sugar and vanilla sugar. "I listed as I took my portion of pancakes. "Next time I'll try it with some Maïzena or something similar. "

"Maïzena?" repeats the blonde, slurring the name with her English accent.

"A sort of flour lighter than the classic one. "

"Oh, you mean cornflour?" asked Rose

"Well, maybe... I dont really know.".

"Anyway, this is delicious. " compliments the Doctor as he takes another pancake.

By the rate the Doctor was eating them I felt that there were not enough pancakes and by tomorrow there would be none left. But it doesn't bother me to do it again, it only takes me about fifteen minutes to prepare the batter, twenty at the most. And the baking time only depends on the amount of batter I have. And if there wasn't any left, maybe I could try to make some with chocolate chips? If there isn't any, I'll ask the Doctor so I can go shopping. At some point I'd have to ask anyway, I'm running out of sanitary protection and period pain medication. Now one of the things that I'm going to have to deal with is the medication, I'm going to need a prescription to get it from the pharmacy. So that means I'll have to go to the doctor, no pun intended...

"I know a place in the 42nd century that serves delicious desserts, I'd even say high gastronomy. And they're not greedy about the quantity." says the Doctor thoughtfully, taking a pancake mechanically, licking his lips to clean them of any pancake crumbs. "We should try, what do you think? "

"Where is this restaurant? " asked Rose, interested.

"Callisto."

I lifted my head when the name was revealed. I felt surprised but at the same time I felt like I shouldn't be. 42nd century, humanity had already started their colonizations in space.

"Nice name. Where's this planet?"

"It's one of Jupiter's moons. "I corrected without meanness. "The prettiest one, if you ask me. "

"Oh, it's in our solar system then." deduced Rose, a smile winning her lips. "So, the restaurant is fancy by human standards, right? "

"By French standards, to be correct."

Rose's smile, which until now had remained on her lips, suddenly faded, and then from her lips came a groan that sounded like an annoyed grunt.

"A French restaurant? Really? Why can't it be English food? "she complained, backing away from the table, scraping her chair on the floor.

"Because you guys don't know how to cook. You may have the same ingredients as us, but you screw it up."

Rose looked at me with an outraged expression that almost called for outrage, while the Doctor hid the smile that threatened to stretch his face. He hid behind his fist, his pinched or bitten lips twisting upwards, holding back a laugh that made his shoulders and chest shake. Rose glanced towards him for help, to be on her side, but her hope fell when she saw the man holding back his laugh. After a moment's silence, Rose stormed out of the kitchen, slamming the door to let us know her indignation. I shared a look of surprise with the Doctor, staring at the door without actually seeing it

"I didn't remember her being so touchy," I said, lowering my voice a bit.

"Oh, I don't know, it was a bit mean of you to say that, wasn't it?"

"I thought it was a joke, you know? "I tried to explain, adding gestures to my words. "Playing on this French-English 'rivalry'."

"I don't think she gets the joke. She must have taken it rather personally to be that offended." He said, resting his chin against the palm of his hand.

"Obviously." I retorted with some sarcasm coloring my voice.

"Maybe you should apologize...?" he suggests gently, his gaze meeting mine.

Arms crossed against my chest, I slowly balanced my head, stretching and rolling my neck until painful but satisfying cracks could be heard. The Doctor watched me silently and intently as I bit my cracked lips, pulling bits of skin to blood; a bad habit I developed while I was thinking, and when I had licked the blood from my lip for the third time, I spoke again.

"I don't think apologising is going to do anything now. The whole situation with Rose is far too bad to be improved now."

And then with Doomsday approaching, it seemed a bit too late to attempt a friendship with Rose. Although I didn't know if the incident would go according to the original timeline, it was better for me to stick to the original scenario and reduce the damage I could do if I attempted to change anything. The original situation was already bad, I didn't need to do anything that would fuck everything up. One unlucky shit and it would be like throwing oil and alcohol on the wildfire that was Doomsday. Torchwood One, Daleks and Cybermen and the Void threat. Those weren't parameters to mess around with. As the Hogwarts motto goes: Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus. Don't tickle the sleeping dragon.

"Penny for your thoughts? " asked the Doctor suddenly with a smirk, breaking the thread of my deep thought.

"Your money could be spent on something so much better," I grinned.

"That doesn't stop me from being curious about it, especially if it's the thoughts of such an interesting woman like you. "

The Doctor's compliment took me by surprise but did not leave me indifferent. My lips stretched into a delighted smile as my eyes widened slightly with joy.

"Silver tongue. "I purred softly after an appreciative click of my tongue.

In a flirty mood, the Doctor stretched his body against the table and his chair, like a feline would. His brown eyes darkened luxuriously and his pupils dilated a bit. The strange light brown with a golden sheen turned into a dark smoky brown reminding me of a strong alcohol such as whiskey or bourbon.

"I know..." he said, a small laugh marking his amusement. "So? your thoughts? "

Seeing no reason to lie to him I gave him the answer he asked for.

"Future."

The Doctor's amusement vanished to be replaced by a serious look. Despite his unchanged position I could see that I had his full attention, more than I had before.

"The general future or..."

The Doctor left his words unsaid but we both knew I was talking about his future.

"I've got question, a few actually. "

"Oh?"

"As a Time Lord, you can sense how time is supposed to be, right? "I asked, getting an affirmative hum from him. "How do you know that an event is a fixed point? "

The Doctor got up and sat properly in his chair, rubbing his ear as he struggled to find his words. He tried a talk on how he sensed time. But because of our different cultural, biological and linguistic backgrounds it was a flop. He tried to explain to me a meaning, a way of feeling that I literally could not understand. In his explanation he slipped up on words several times, suddenly speaking in Gallifreyan when he found himself unable to find a human equivalent for the word he was looking for.

That was how I realised how different we both really were.

"Okay, okay, I'll reformulate the question. "I cut, interrupting the Doctor in his monologue that was promising to make my brain melt. "How do you identify a Fixed Point?"

"Well, knowing that a fixed point is something that must happen without any kind of alteration, my senses are inflamed in an unpleasant way. To put it simply, a fixed point would be like a thorn in my spine. like in my spine itself. "he replied, as he stood up. "Let me explain it to you in a physical way, please stand up."

The Doctor offered me a hand to help me up and slid his other hand down my back. He gently lifted my top and ran his fingers down my spine before pressing in different places.

"When I experience a fixed point, I feel an unpleasant, sharp pain across my back on the different points I have pointed out."

"A sharp pain? Like a broken bone?"

"No, it's less painful than that. "he reassures me. "More like muscle pain..."

"Like periods or muscle cramps? "

"Since I've never had my period, I couldn't define how painful it is." he sniffs, with a tiny smile. "But it would be a pain like cramps."

"And so, you feel this near a fixed point? "

"Yes. Generally, feeling that is discouraging to be near the event. It's a pretty effective warning..."

"I feel like there's a but to that statement."

The Doctor gave me a very strange look which contained a slight touch of concern. His hand, which had slid to different places on my back and rested a bit below my shoulder blades, came down to rest against my hip, his other hand doing the same.

"My senses aren't good since... since the War. I'm not the same as I used to be about identifying fixed points. Do you remember the day when Rose saved her father? "

"How could I forget? "I grumbled bitterly, the painful memories rising once again.

"It was a fixed point. And it took Rose saving her father for me to notice."

I still remember the shock on his old face when he realised that Rose saved her dad from death. His shock, his anger and bruised pride, his disappointment and loss.

"If your fear is that we might run into a fixed point, don't worry. I'm working hard to make sure we don't run into them. " reassured the Doctor, finally wrapping his arms around me for a hug.

My arms wrapped around the Doctor's slender chest and I hid my face into his chest, my nose brushing the smooth silk of his tie. His distinctive scent filled my senses as the soft, faint rhythmic sound of his two hearts reached me.

"What happens if... if I know a really, really bad moment. And what if I decided despite what was happening to do nothing? If I decided to leave countless lives to their fate? "I asked in a weak, trembling voice, almost ashamed. "What kind of person does that make me?"

The Doctor whispered my name gently, and when he saw that I didn't dare look at him or do anything he withdrew his arms wrapped around me to make me look at him; his hands cupped gently on either side of my jaw and he used no strength to make me lift my head, not that I was stopping him anyway...

"I never noticed how much we were alike..." he says as he gently caresses my face, his eyes staring tenderly at me. "While I carry the burden of my actions and my past, you seem to carry on your shoulders what is to come and all the pain that comes with it. "

The Doctor spoke with such reverence, gentleness and kindness, without judgment nor accusation, that it brought tears to my eyes. Silently, my tears rolled down my cheeks and on his hands.

"You know my past, my present and future." He continued softly, his fingers actively working to wipe away my tears as they kept flowing. "You try to make things better, to save people, strangers. To preserve worlds and homes. Risking your own life. How can you not see what a brilliant, wonderful person you are?"

"I'm fucking messed up, that what I am! "I cried.

"Maybe you are, but you know what? It doesn't stop you from being brilliant, brave, clever, curious... It doesn't stop you from being a good person. And above all, it doesn't stop me from adoring you. "

More tears flowed and rolled down my skin, tears that the Doctor hurriedly wiped away with his fingers before he tenderly pressed his lips against my forehead, then my nose, then my cheeks and finally my lips. I let myself be loved, the Doctor's loving attention to me made butterflies flutter in my stomach, goose bumps appear along my forearms and made me shiver with pleasure.

My arms slid down his back and I gripped his brown striped suit in such a way that I knew my fingers would eventually wrinkle the fabric. I moved closer and lifted my head slightly, my nose rubbing against the collar of his shirt and the tender skin of his neck, smelled of his own special perfume, the grease of the Tardis and that indescribable fragrance that was unique to the Doctor and the Tardis, that smell that could not be industrially reproduced even with all of the money in the world and all of the components in the universe.

"I will be there, no matter what happens in the future. I'll be there for you, with you. " he promised, his lips moving gently against my temple and his breath warming my skin.

I only tightened my grip, closing my eyes and breathing deeply to calm myself. The notion of time was far from my mind as we remained in this embrace, the Doctor holding me, rocking me gently, caressing my hair tenderly and distractedly, kissing my temple from time to time and offering sweet words of comfort. After a long moment of silence, we finally parted, breaking the embrace. I wiped away the last remaining tears, washing away the proof of my anguish and grief. The doctor gently rubbed my arms, offering me a kind smile and a final kiss.

"Let's go somewhere to change our minds," he offers with an encouraging tone. "What would make you happy?"

My mind wandered through all the possibilities available to me but in the end one general idea persisted and that was what I asked to the Doctor.

"I would like to see an open sky, full of stars and galaxies; somewhere where we can't be disturbed. I want somewhere quiet and sublime."

"A starry sky... you know what? I think I know a place. I've never been there myself, so shall we go and discover it together? "

The Doctor invited me to follow him into the console, offering a hand I took without any hesitation. We shared an identical smile, filled with childlike joy and love. The Doctor called Rose's name, shouting it as he engaged the manipulation to turn on the Tardis' engines and the time rotor after typing specific coordinates on the keyboard designated for that purpose. Its mystical whirring filled the room, and as the Doctor danced around the console, pulling levers, pressing buttons and giving me directions to help him drive Sexy.

Rose never came, even after the chaotic ride to Sexy's materialisation, she didn't come. The Doctor called to her once more before he gave up and headed for the wooden doors, which creaked every time they were opened. As I put on my coat, I saw the Doctor wander outside, his hands in his pockets and his long brown coat given by Janis Joplin brushing the grass on the ground. I joined the Doctor and was stunned by the scene in front of me.

Lulled and guided by a gentle, fresh breeze, gigantic but peaceful creatures floated through the sky. These creatures, pure blue and luminescent, large and graceful like blue whales in the water, floated gently and went about their business, not deigning to glance at the Tardis or us. It was night and the moon close to the planet was shining brightly over the meadow where we were, accompanied by countless stars. Sometimes a shooting star would suddenly appear before disappearing very quickly. And the sky covered with stars was not pitch black or extremely deep blue, but was a mixture of a particular and specific palette. Blue, purple and pink were the only colours I could spot. But the Doctor explained that there were three other colours besides the one I found, but they were colours that no human could ever see. Colours that were beyond the spectrum that the human eye and human understanding could perceive. But it didn't matter, all I knew and cared about was that these colours were beautiful and matched perfectly with the one I could discern.

Side by side with the Doctor, we watched in silence the dance of the creatures in the sky.

"They'll be singing soon..." he said quietly to me, not wanting to break the calm atmosphere of this place.

"Singing? "

The Doctor nodded slightly before looking at me and giving me a tender smile. He pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arm around my waist.

"They are Phàlainas, astral whales. They are one of the most peaceful creatures in all of Space and Time in this world..." he explains softly. "Not a single bit of negativity between them. The very representation of kindness and peacefulness."

"I... I can't believe such creatures exist. They're beautiful. I feel like I'm living in a dream! Or something magic! "

The Doctor chuckled lightly, his lips curling into a smile that showed his teeth.

"Not magic, not even a dream. Just a different world, a beautiful reality. Just the two of us and..."

Beautiful, pure sounds began to echo across the meadow.

"The Phàlainas singing".

The sound was crystal clear. It couldn't even compare to whale song. Nor could it compare to any song I had heard before. It was unique, like the sound of the Tardis. And equally beautiful.

I couldn't describe what I was hearing anymore, I couldn't think. All I did was listen. I listened to the song of the Phàlainas without trying to imagine anything else at the same time. It was like this ritual that I used to do to fall asleep, I would play music with my headphones and my phone and listen to the different melodies until I fell asleep. And as in this ritual, I started to react to this beautiful and unique melody. I had always been sensitive to music. Goosebumps filled my arms; a shiver slowly ran down my spine and I felt my eyes moisten; not enough to cry but enough for a tear to fall and slide down my cheek.

It was so beautiful.

A pair of lips gently kissed my temple as an arm wrapped around me. The Doctor was concerned when he saw my tear, but I reassured him that I was just sensitive to the music. The Doctor tightened his grip slightly and placed another kiss on the side of my head. A glance at him showed me that he was wearing a fond smile.

We both stayed for a long time in the vast meadow, watching the Phàlainas singing and flying gracefully in the starry sky, a soft breeze stirring the grass at our feet. The atmosphere only made me long for calm, making me forget all my worries and anxieties and the dark days ahead.

I wrote this chapter with this music playing in the background on a loop. A cover of Vogel im käfig from the anime Shingeki no kyojin/ attack on titan by Grissini Project, a French band.