Chapter 33: Pursuit of Absolution

As the Order meeting loomed nearer, Draco kept a closer eye on the clock. He ended up needing a shower after puttering around the cottage all day. Draco would've liked to see Blaise before he left just to temper his anxiety, but there wasn't time.

Auntie Andie was waiting for Draco at Malfoy Manor before they made the jump over to Ramstad Manor. Draco was happy to use her as a social crutch, but it ended up not being necessary. He'd barely stepped out of the fireplace when Granger popped up in front of him.

"Hey," she greeted him, alight with excitement. "So your tip was good."

"Er, which one? The hafgufa thing?"

Granger nodded. "I found evidence that supported it. Dumbledore's going to go over it with everybody during the meeting, but I wanted to say something to you about it first. I don't think I would've ever guessed something like that."

"Neither would I, to be fair." Draco shrugged, hands in his trouser pockets. "I just happened to walk past one all the time."

"Either way, thank you."

Draco was just happy to contribute. He found it easier to feel less resentment that way about how things had gone for him. He wasn't so much of an outsider among this group, although he still disliked the urge to prove himself to them. Draco wasn't even really sure why he tried. Did anyone here look at his motives beyond trying to get his mum back?

Thoughts like that were useless. Dumbledore knew better, and that was all that mattered. As they all filtered into the drawing room and took their seats, the group became a collection of minds with similar goals. Their interpersonal issues took the back burner.

Dumbledore stood up. "Thank you all for coming. Some interesting developments were made over the weekend. . ."

Draco listened quietly as Dumbledore filled them all in on everything Granger had presented to Madam Bones that morning. When Dumbledore gave him credit for the idea, Draco held a straight face. His cheeks warmed a bit when Tonks amicably pushed his shoulder. Draco kept his gaze on Dumbledore as he felt other eyes fall on him around the table.

"The Beast Division has stated their intent to pursue this lead," Dumbledore said with a nod in Granger's direction. "What's happening in the Being Division now?"

"I spoke to Madam Prickle this afternoon about it," Granger replied. "She wants me to refocus my efforts on druids, although to come to her if I stumble upon something else like the hafgufa."

"Should it be helpful then, I extend to you an invitation to use Hogwarts' library for your research." Dumbledore smiled at her. "The Ministry has its own resources, but one can never have enough during times like these.

"Speaking of druids, we ought to pivot briefly to that," Dumbledore said. "Over the weekend, Harry reviewed all the information he'd managed to collect specifically about Hildegard and her position relative to Voldemort. He and I are of the same mind that her credibility is next to nothing now that we know what she had at stake. Hildegard was bound to Voldemort through Dagmar. He was essentially holding Dagmar hostage until Hildegard made good on her end of a deal gone wrong many years ago.

"If Draco and Hermione are correct about the hafgufa, then our certainty about the location and nature of Fantomøy is wrong." Dumbledore resumed his seat. "It casts into doubt pretty much everything else. Harry and I have cautiously agreed that Helka, the Matriarch of Leidfall, remains a credible witness to Hildegard's past. We just aren't sure about the specifics gleaned from Hildegard herself about it, or what she says she corroborated using the Ramstad family bible."

Hesitantly, Draco raised a hand to speak. His heart picked up a little, for he hadn't come to this meeting intending to participate. "Dagmar thought that. She didn't have a whole lot of faith in her mum either. She thought maybe Hildegard only found someone in the family bible that had all the right names. There was a Hildegard and Aslaug that survived their family's bout with the Black Death. Dagmar and Bjorn were the names of the parents. They aren't rare names, is the thing. When was the first time Aslaug was ever mentioned? Hildegard could've named Aslaug after the fact to fit the story. Dagmar said her mum refused to talk about her."

"Didn't Helka say she knew her?" Potter asked. "Dagmar told me that Aslaug had been decapitated when their clan was attacked."

"Oh—yeah, she did." Draco ignored his face going warm again. "So maybe that whole story still fits? That's a lot of coincidences not to. Dagmar used to get comments here and there about how her name was pronounced like a Dane when she was supposedly Norwegian. She was named after her grandmother. Bjorn has to be real, right? Because Magnus told his sister about him?"

Potter nodded. "We don't think there was any reason for him to lie about that to Marit. There's no reason to think Marit still isn't a credible source either. It's not that she lied about Fantomøy. She just didn't know any better."

"Right." Draco cleared his throat. "Does it really matter when Hildegard was born and all that? Helka didn't know when. If she knew anything about Hildegard, she wasn't telling Dagmar. She wouldn't talk about how things like immortality could be achieved. We were fine just knowing there was a way, since you and Professor Parasca had been thinking about You-Know-Who having made himself into a lich. Dagmar got the impression that her mum being a member of Helka's old clan was enough to get us into Leidfall, but it wasn't enough for Helka to tell us anything really serious or in-depth about druidic magic."

"That's very possible," Dumbledore said. "In response to your first question, revelations come from chasing the devil in the details. That minor allusion your mother made regarding Fantomøy experiencing polar night is a perfect example. Hildegard's origins don't really matter—until they do."

"Maybe Hildegard told the truth when I asked her about it, then," Potter spoke up. "That didn't really have anything to do with Dagmar. She could've seen it as non-consequential to tell me some details about that. It made me trust her more about other things, which might have been the goal. Another thing we're uncertain about is the locket."

"What, that it didn't even exist?" Draco asked, his stomach sinking a little.

"Not a locket specifically is what's up for debate." Potter had brought a messenger with him. He opened it to flip through. Beside him, Pansy tucked some hair behind her ear as she leaned closer to look at it. "The only people we have that talked about it were Hildegard, your dad, and Bellatrix. None of them are credible. Speaking of Bellatrix, did she ever specifically talk about it to you when she was at your house?"

Draco thought about it. "I don't think so. I didn't talk to her about much at all to do with that. I avoided and ignored her whenever I could."

"So Bellatrix never specifically said to you anything about the locket?"

Draco shook his head. "She might have to Dagmar. She was the one Aunt Bella talked to first when she showed up. Everything said there, I heard through Dagmar. Dagmar mentioned the locket, but I couldn't tell you if she was just making assumptions. It could be that Aunt Bella was only telling us as much as we needed to know, that something existed but she wasn't going to tell us it was a locket. And that's what's important, right? Knowing that we're not all on some wild goose chase?"

"We know they were looking for Magnus Norheim," Potter said. "It took a lot of time and energy. It had to be important. There wasn't anything about him specifically that Voldemort cared about. Magnus wasn't involved in anything at all until after Voldemort disappeared. He'd met Hildegard, and then all of a sudden he was relevant when he left her. Bellatrix had said too that they were looking for something?"

"Yeah. They wanted Dagmar to treat You-Know-Who so that they could get back to it. We'd made that deal that my mum could stay with us while they were gone."

Potter let the room go quiet as he dashed down some things in his notes. To Draco's left, Tonks cleared her throat. "So, what exactly isn't certain, then? What all are we throwing out the window, or at least casting doubt on?"

"Just to rip the bandage off, the big one is that Voldemort is for sure dead," Potter replied. "I didn't make very firm requirements for what should be taken with a grain of salt. The thing with Voldemort is that it's really hard to be certain about anything with him. We've been talking for a long time about the possibility his soul has been split. We don't really know what that means, in the grand scheme of things. Er—Malfoy."

Draco raised his eyebrows as acknowledgement.

"We're going to talk about Dagmar. Does that bother you?"

"No," Draco said, since they already had been. He was pretty good at compartmentalizing his grief and only letting it overcome him when he was either in comfortable company or alone. "Wait, in what way?"

Potter chewed his bottom lip. "Well, thing is with my requirements for what's true or possible or whatever, we can't really confirm that Dagmar is dead either. If we can't say Voldemort's for sure dead because we don't have his body, then it has to be true for her too. And some of the specifics of the situation mean debating just how possible that is. I don't wanna be insensitive or give you false hope where there might not be any."

Draco froze as that too-familiar crushing sensation rose up around his heart. He didn't want to say in front of the whole room that he didn't know if he could stand that. At the same time, he really wanted to hear. He wanted that hope because some small part of him still felt it when he was unable to visit a grave or spread ashes. The cottage didn't feel like only his place yet. Heimdall walked around a lot, meowing in attempt to get Dagmar to respond in-kind like she usually did to him. Surrounded by Dagmar's things and in possession of her wand, Draco just couldn't shake the feeling that she might be home any minute.

That must have been written on Draco's face, because Potter and then Pansy and Granger on either side of him reacted to it. Seeing them all pity him certainly made Draco feel no better about the situation. Auntie Andie squeezed his shoulder.

"Draco," Dumbledore addressed him from the table head. "You should step out. One of us will come find you when we're ready to move on to the next point of discussion."

Draco rose then and avoided meeting anyone's gazes on his way to the exit. He was glad he'd chosen a seat close to it to minimize discomfort. Embarrassment still clung to him when he left the drawing room for the blurriness in his vision and shortness of his breath.

Potter was right. This wasn't something Draco could hear. It drove him immediately mental out of curiosity for what was being said on the other side of that door. They were debating whether or not Dagmar was dead? Draco wanted to know the evidence to the contrary. Was there something that supported Draco's wishful thinking?

Draco had felt like he had a good grasp on his grief. It was still there, of course, but he'd found healthy ways to express it. Blaise was good and easy to talk to, and Draco had ways while alone to channel it into something productive for his healing process. He wasn't so sure this was good for it. That hinged on whether or not Draco should actually be grieving. What if Dagmar really was alive?

The flash of happiness Draco experienced for that was immediately overtaken by fear. What exactly did it mean if Dagmar was? That didn't automatically mean that she was all right. If she'd somehow survived Potter's Killing Curse, she could be seriously hurt. She might have died anyway after suffering. If she was physically fine, she was stuck with the Death Eaters.

Draco's emotions volleyed all over the place as he headed beyond the great room in search for somewhere more private. His feet carried him upstairs to Dagmar's old room. He didn't have as many memories of her here, but enough to sharpen the ache of how much he missed her. Draco's skin felt increasingly sensitive. He grew anxious that Dagmar wasn't doing something to temper that. Draco had never really known in his life how it felt to be truly touch-starved.

When Dagmar was still here, Draco had an outlet if that feeling crept up on him. It happened often enough in this room. There was Dagmar's seventeenth birthday dinner, after which Draco's affection compelled his drunk self to wrap his arms around her middle while she brushed her teeth. Draco had held her like that the first time they ever napped together. He'd inhaled deeply the scent of her hair products that afternoon, something he still did while in the shower. Recalling that now on top of her cool, clean skin against his cheek was just too much. Draco found himself wondering all over again how it was possible to hurt so much for someone, and so suddenly without warning.

Draco ended up crawling under the blanket for some sort of attempt to feel closer to Dagmar. He'd pretty much forgotten about the meeting going on downstairs when a knock came at the door. Draco jumped, then scurried out of the bed. He shoved his shoes back on.

Auntie Andie stood outside the bedroom door. "Oh, you are up here. Are you ready to come back?"

"Erm. . .I guess."

He made no move to follow though, and Auntie Andie no move to lead.

"What'd they say, then?" Draco had to know. "Is it possible?"

Auntie Andie pressed her lips together as she rubbed his arm. "It's only on a technicality that we can't say with a hundred-percent certainty she's gone. The going theory right now is that You-Know-Who's life might have been spared the same way Harry's was when hit with the Killing Curse. It rebounded and hit Dagmar. That doesn't necessarily mean You-Know-Who actually died. Since we can't say either way, we're going forward on the assumption that he's still alive."

"But you won't do the same for Dagmar."

"No." Auntie Andie's voice further softened. "That's based on emotions just as much as logic. I can't say that Bella would've trusted you and Dagmar around You-Know-Who on a bluff. The people that love Dagmar—you especially—shouldn't be expected to handle that level of disappointment if it's confirmed she's really gone."

Whether or not that was true, Draco felt it. He really couldn't handle being let down like this again. Until Dumbledore first visited him in Azkaban, Draco had held onto the hope he'd just seen things wrong. He'd hoped that maybe Dagmar would be waiting for him when he was released. There was still hope in the back of Draco's mind that because he maintained the cottage, Dagmar would know where to find him when she was ready to come home. To have it thrown in his face all over again that Dagmar never would was just too much.

Auntie Andie followed Draco into Dagmar's room, closing the door behind her. Draco was trying to hold himself together against the next wave of his grief. Being pulled into a hug did the opposite. His eyes brimmed as his head went heavy on Auntie Andie's shoulder.

"Maybe you should skip the rest of the meeting," she suggested with a rub of Draco's back. "Anything you need to know, I could just tell you later."

Draco was torn about it. He didn't want everyone in the meeting to know he couldn't handle it, but they'd know anyway if he came back downstairs like this. Even if Draco could get a grip, he'd still have clearly been upset.

"I hate being so weak," Draco whispered.

"You're not," Auntie Andie reassured him. "You're grieving. It would upset anyone. Hermione was fighting back tears about it too."

That just made Draco feel more like an outsider. He wasn't close to most of the people downstairs like Granger was. An Order meeting was a safe place for her to be emotional. It wasn't, for Draco.

"Maybe I'll head home, then." Draco still felt like he was giving up. "Tell Dumbledore I'm sorry."

"I'll walk you to the fireplace."

Draco forgot that he'd left an open invitation for Blaise to come up for dinner. He was sitting on the cottage love seat with a copy of the Daily Prophet.

Blaise pressed his lips together as they sized each other up. "Didn't go very well, I take it?"

"No," Draco quietly replied. "It's still going. I just couldn't be there anymore."

"Any particularly reason? If you feel like talking about it, anyway."

"I don't even know if I can."

"Don't worry about it, then." Blaise folded up his newspaper. "Would it be more help to get your mind off it?"

"Yeah."

Draco just didn't know how that could happen. Rather mechanically, he headed into the kitchen to start on the reindeer steaks he'd intended for dinner. Blaise followed. "Want help?"

"Could cut up potatoes to be boiled, if you don't mind."

Draco had already cleaned them earlier. Blaise collected them from where they sat on the counter and pulled out a cutting board. He was still getting the hang of using magic to maneuver a knife, so the cuts were very deliberate and uneven. It would've gotten a chuckle out of Draco if he was anywhere near the mood for it.

Auntie Andie came by when Draco and Blaise were about halfway through eating. She didn't have much to say that concerned Draco. Dumbledore was just going over evacuation protocol that he and the Heads of House had cooked up. Dumbledore had connected his office fireplace to Ramstad Manor. All the students would be streamlined through to there.

Word still hadn't reached Dumbledore whether or not he would be able to take the firedrakes, which was Draco's interest in the meeting. Gunvor herself was fine with it. She just needed confirmation from the Norwegian Ministry before she could green light it. Gunvor also gave Dumbledore a heads up that she wouldn't be able to spare a second employee to accompany them to Hogwarts alongside Draco. Before Draco could say anything about that, considering he didn't think he could handle the three of them on his own, Auntie Andie told him that Dumbledore already had a solution in the works. He'd reached out to Cǎlimani Reserve in Romania to see about borrowing Charlie Weasley.

Draco hummed. "I don't know him at all. I remember him being at Hogwarts during the first task of the Triwizard Tournament, but nothing other than that."

"Everyone seemed pretty excited about it." Auntie Andie smiled. "He was in Dora's year at Hogwarts. She said you'd like him."

"Okay." Draco would take her word for it.

Still—Draco couldn't help but think—he was a Weasley. Draco didn't have a great track record with them. He was amicable with the ones he knew right now, and that was about it.

Blaise stuck around for a little while after dinner, but had to leave at nine so that he could get ready for work in the morning. Gringotts was deemed an essential service in the emergency lockdown procedures released by the Ministry. Blaise didn't have much choice about going, but it didn't seem to bother him very much. The security presence in Diagon Alley increased, and foot traffic was way down. Blaise had little to do with clients anyway. He just stayed in his office when he wasn't over at the Bank of England.

That kept Draco from worrying about him. He had enough already to keep him a little edgy when only he and Auntie Andie remained after Blaise disappeared into the fireplace.

"Well?" Auntie Andie sighed. "How're you doing?"

Draco shrugged. "Back to being okay. It comes in waves like that, especially when I get hit with something I wasn't expecting."

"I think that's pretty normal."

"Doesn't mean it doesn't suck."

"No."

Auntie Andie offered to stay for the night, but Draco figured he was probably all right. There was nothing she could directly do for Draco once he headed upstairs for bed. He finally had the freedom there to grieve as he needed to. It didn't take much to jumpstart everything again. In a way, Draco felt silly for trying to make himself feel sad. It wasn't like he didn't already deal with enough of that.

He just hoped to feel better after everything had cleared his system again. Draco did, in a way. He came up empty instead of upset. It wasn't great, but it was some sort of improvement.

Draco didn't really know what to do with himself. He was packed and geared up for Hogwarts, so everything else felt like something Draco was just doing in the meantime. He didn't want to start some new project, like organizing Dagmar's things or going through all the personal effects from Malfoy and Ramstad Manor downstairs. Draco couldn't even cook ahead because he wasn't sure if he'd be home to eat it.

He buried himself in one of the books about dragons he'd bought back in the summer and then neglected to read. Between the heat of the fireplace and Heimdall sleeping on his feet, Draco caught that mood. His attempt to rest his eyes late Wednesday morning ended up with him being startled by the whoosh of the fireplace. Draco shot upright.

Dumbledore stood there. "Apologies. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay." Draco rubbed his eyes. "I didn't mean to fall asleep either. Tea?"

"Please."

Draco headed for the kitchen. He used getting the kettle ready as a mask for adjusting to being vertical again. Dumbledore took a seat at the island.

"Are you feeling better from yesterday?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yeah," Draco replied. "Well, sort of. When it comes out of the blue like that and we have to talk about her, I don't handle the surprise well."

"Your aunt said she'd catch up with you about the relevant parts of the meeting. She told you where we were as far as you coming to Hogwarts?"

Draco set the kettle on the stove and lit the element with a tap of his wand. "Yep."

"I received word from the Norwegian Ministry this morning that they would allow the firedrakes to come," Dumbledore replied. "So you can come to Hogwarts whenever you're ready."

"All right." Draco folded his arms on the island top. "What's the timeline for the firedrakes?"

"That would be a better question for Gunvor." Dumbledore chuckled. "I would assume they'll require an escort. They would be traveling over waters where Fantomøy is expected to be."

Draco nodded mindlessly. "You think they're all heading back north?"

"Most likely, unless they planned on staying in the North Sea. If they were angling to continue a campaign against Britain, they might. They likely know that everyone expected them to be in Trondheim."

"Right."

Draco headed over to the cupboard to pull out some tea. He was having a hard time putting his mind to the details.

"I've been thinking about something," Draco said as he returned to where Dumbledore sat. "After yesterday, I wonder if maybe I should take a little bit of a step back. If you're all talking about how Dagmar died and You-Know-Who might still be around. . .I just don't know that I can handle that. I'm already having a hard enough time really accepting that she's gone. There's a part of me that hopes she's still alive. I know she's not. I shouldn't even let myself go there because it's just going to open that wound over and over again. I can't help it, is the thing. The only way I can think to stop it is to not be involved."

"I wouldn't hold it against you," Dumbledore replied. "I certainly wouldn't blame you."

"I'll do everything I can still to help," Draco clarified. "I have no problem coming to Hogwarts and helping with the firedrakes. I don't mind answering any questions anyone might have that I could help with. Maybe I'll just sit out of meetings for now."

"I can always give you personal updates on matters that pertain to you. For now, you can focus on your job with the firedrakes. When did you want to come to Hogwarts?"

"I've been packed since Sunday. I've just been living day-to-day here, never cooking more food than I need for the next meal. If you're going straight back to Hogwarts from here, I could just go with you."

Dumbledore agreed that was fine, so Draco headed upstairs for his trunk after finishing his tea. He made sure yet again that he had absolutely everything he needed. He didn't know if he'd be allowed to come back and forth once he was there, especially once the firedrakes arrived at Hogwarts. They would require a lot of attention as Draco commenced the training he'd left them off with early-December.

Heimdall had squirrelled himself away underneath the bed. Draco tried to coax him out, but ended up having to wait until he was ready. Once Heimdall was in his grasp, Draco put him in his basket. He meowed once before letting off.

"I just need my messengers, and then I'm ready," Draco told Dumbledore when he came back down to the living room. He'd put his work armour on since it was too bulky to pack. "Potter must know I'm coming?"

"Yes," Dumbledore answered. "Just as a forewarning, I believe he intends to catch up to you and discuss how to navigate occupying the same place. I'm sure your paths won't cross for much of the day, but evenings and nights might be a different story."

"Guess we'll see," Draco said. "I'm fine getting along with him as far as Order business goes. We've had a couple meetings together that prove that."

"He may still rather discuss it than leave it up to chance."

"Yeah."

Draco handed control of his trunk over to Dumbledore so that he could mind Heimdall for the floo journey. He had to apparate for the first leg of it down to the Inn, since he needed to extinguish the fire after Dumbledore left. Draco tried not to feel too bummed out about leaving the cottage again.

Heimdall hated apparating. He expressed his discontent once they arrived at the Inn. Apparating turned him acquiescent toward flooing from Bergen to London, then over to Ramstad Manor, and then ultimately up to Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore waited for Draco there like he had at every other stop, lingering in direction of the office exit.

"I'll show you where you'll be staying," Dumbledore offered.

"Sure," Draco agreed. "It's going to be weird not to be down in the dungeons."

Their arrival to Hogwarts coincided with the beginning of afternoon courses. The few students they saw on their way down to the second floor were older. Draco received some looks of intrigue. He couldn't decide if it was because of the way he was dressed or because he was another unexpected return. A hint of pity in one sixth-year Ravenclaw girl added in the possibility of it being known he'd lost his fiancée. Draco avoided meeting anyone's gaze after that.

The makeshift common room hidden away by Professor Fronsac was currently empty. There were two short hallways leading off either end. Dumbledore gestured to the one off the left. "You'll be familiar with the gender division, of course. There should be an empty room for you over there."

"All right." Draco readjusted Heimdall's basket. He was starting to get heavy. "I guess I'll get settled in and then touch base with Hagrid. We should get started as soon as possible on getting that enclosure set up."

"I'm sure Hagrid will defer to you on the matter."

That was a weird thought to Draco, that he'd received training that placed him as more of an expert on an animal he'd raised with his old professor's help. Firedrakes weren't too complicated, at least as far as housing them. Draco could say another thing or two about their behaviour, or what motivated them. That would be an adjustment for Hagrid and whoever else might help out with them.

"You'll know where to find me if you need anything," Dumbledore told Draco. "The password to my office is pepper imps. If you'll make a point to sit dinner at five with the rest of the school, I can properly announce your arrival and explain why you're here."

"Okay."

Draco was a little nervous for that, but it looked to him judging by the number of rooms here that Potter and Tonks weren't the only ones having needed to be announced. There was a third door in the men's wing, and it looked like a second one in the women's.

Heimdall meowed to be let out. Draco closed the door and set his trunk down before fiddling with the basket. Heimdall's tail quivered as he stepped out. He was confident enough about where he was to jump up onto the bed.

Draco scratched his lower back. "I guess you'll be wanting to reclaim some old territory, huh?"

As soon as Draco made one step toward the door, Heimdall ran ahead of him and rested his backend against the frame. He skirted off down the corridor when Draco left the common room.

Since Luca had the same schedule that Draco had last year, he tried to remember what exactly that was. At one o'clock on a Wednesday, Draco would've been taking a long lunch as he waited for Care of Magical Creatures to start at two. Hagrid didn't have a class before the NEWT one. Draco ought to catch him before that just to touch base. He was curious if Luca wouldn't mind heading out to the grounds a little early.

Draco headed for the library. Luca sat alone and hunched over a table with his back to Draco. His left hand was in his hair, holding it back from his face as his quill scratched away. Draco didn't realize just how much noise his armour made until he tried to sneak up. Luca seemed unaware anyway, but Draco could already feel Madam Pince's searching glare for where that squeaky groan was coming from.

Draco tapped Luca on the shoulder. He glanced up, then brightened with a grin. "Hey!"

"Sh!" Madam Pince immediately shot their way.

"Hey," Luca tried again in a bare whisper. "Blaise said you might end up here."

"Yep." Draco glanced at what Luca worked on. It looked like Potions. "Too busy to come with me to Hagrid's?"

"Nu, this can wait." Luca started gathering his things together. "I wasn't getting anywhere, anyway."

Since Madam Pince's gaze was almost sharp enough to pierce right through Draco, he and Luca waited until they were free of the library to talk again.

"You just got here, then?" Luca asked. "Oh, you mind if we swing down by the dungeons so I can put my stuff away? I don't need anything for Care of Magical Creatures, although I should probably grab my coat."

"Lead the way," Draco replied.

It was weird not to be allowed into the Slytherin common room. Draco loitered outside of it by the entrance while he waited for Luca. There was a marked difference in Luca's disposition when he reemerged. His expression seemed clearer and a small smile sat on his lips.

"I can't wait to see Bal again," Luca said as they carried on. "He's been behaving all right? Or nu? Have you seen him at all?"

Draco shook his head. "I've been up to the reserve only a couple times since I went home. I think they've been tucked up pretty tightly in their compound, sticking close to the fire. It's really cold up there. Not like Bergen. You'd think in January it would stop raining for maybe a day or two, but nope."

"We've had a big dump of snow. Good thing you came prepared for that."

That's what Draco had dressed for. January and February were always horrible at Hogwarts. Draco ended up pulling his hood over his head when they stepped out the castle's front doors.

The wind blew last night's snow sideways over the grounds. It made it hard to see that trail leading from the castle to Hagrid's cabin. Draco didn't put any thought toward who might have forged that in the last few hours until he and Luca came up on Hagrid's door. Muffled conversation came from inside.

Hagrid opened the door when Draco knocked, then beamed down at him and Luca. "C'mon in! Er—have company already, but. . ."

Free from the wind, Draco pushed his hood back down. Potter sat at Hagrid's table. He'd been there a while judging by the lack of rosy cheeks or wet hair. There was an empty plate with crumbs beside him, as well as half a cup of tea. Potter had the same messenger Draco had seen him with Monday evening open in front of him. His eyes were a little wide as he regarded Draco and Luca.

"So yeh ended up comin' back then, eh?" Hagrid asked Draco after closing the door. "Dumbledore didn' say nothin' about the Norwegian Ministry givin' the go-ahead."

"I just got here," Draco replied. "Dumbledore only heard this morning. Nothing yet about when the firedrakes are coming or if Charlie Weasley will."

"Yeh must be here then to see about gettin' set up fer them?"

Potter closed his messenger. "I'll get out of your way."

"All righ'," Hagrid said. "See yeh later?"

"Yep. Dinner, for sure."

While Potter gathered his things back up and dressed for the walk back to the castle, Draco and Luca did the opposite. The cabin was warm and cozy enough that Draco already broke a slight sweat.

Potter hesitated when he passed Draco by. "Should we touch base in a bit?"

"Sure," Draco agreed.

Hagrid relaxed when Potter was gone. Draco figured he probably expected some sort of quibble. A few years ago, it would've been a given.

"Tea?" Hagrid offered Draco and Luca as they made themselves comfortable at the table. "Or have yeh got yer taste back yet for it, Malfoy?"

Draco furrowed his brow before remembering that Hagrid himself had had a stint at Azkaban. "No."

"Yeh want somethin' else, then?"

Draco was quite happy to take a cup of cocoa, although he didn't have as much time as he would've liked to enjoy it. There wasn't much to say about planning for the firedrakes other than Hagrid trying to remember where in the castle all the enclosure pieces had been put away. Draco accompanied Hagrid and Luca to Care of Magical Creatures when the class was due to start, and Hagrid explained to the other handful of students that the lesson he'd planned for them would be delayed while they worked on making a place for the firedrakes to stay. They all marched back up to the school, tracked down the old enclosure bits, and brought them back outside. Draco could tell just by looking at it that it wouldn't be suitable anymore for Jormundr, Bal, and Dio. They'd grown to full-size now and were used to having more space. The existing compound would have to be expanded.

A chill stuck in Draco's spine when he and Luca returned to the castle a bit past three. Until Draco spotted Potter loitering in the Entrance Hall, he'd forgotten about him.

"I should keep on with my Potions essay, anyway," Luca told him. "It's due first thing."

"All right."

Draco would've much preferred Luca stay with him. He'd seen Potter a few times since his release from Azkaban, but never in a personal matter or on their own. Especially after how Draco ended up leaving the Monday Order meeting, he grew uncomfortable.

"I was thinking I might head for a hot shower," Draco told Potter before the air between them could fall awkward.

"I'll walk with you." Potter cleared his throat. "I won't keep you long."

"Okay."

They headed up the staircase. All the other afternoon classes had let out for the day, but this part of the castle wasn't too full yet. Some Gryffindors were on their way upstairs from the dungeons. Their class hadn't gone well by the sounds of it. They were all complaining about how hard Snape had been on them.

"You met Girard, then?" Potter pointed his thumb back over his shoulder at the Auror stationed at the front door.

"He thought I was a student trying to sneak out of the castle, so you could say so," Draco replied. "He took some convincing."

"Yeah." Potter stiffly chuckled. "There's him and Roux that came over from France. Dumbledore said we're getting two more yet from Germany."

"Oh yeah."

"I hope Charlie'll get to come. You'd probably like him. Ron says he's always been obsessed with dragons."

"This is what you wanted to talk about?"

"Er. . ."

A few years ago, seeing Potter struggle so much with awkwardness while forced to interact with him would've given Draco some sadistic sort of joy. He took absolutely nothing from it now. In fact, it bordered on tedious.

"Look," Draco said. "Let's just cut to the chase. I don't blame you for what happened. I'd love if it was that simple, but it's not. It wasn't your fault. Not Dagmar, not even me going to Azkaban. We both got fucked right over."

Potter didn't say anything. Draco didn't even want to look at him. No way were they personal enough for Draco to be comfortable with whatever kind of emotions that brought up in Potter. Draco could still hear it in his voice.

"Not Azkaban?" Potter asked.

Draco shook his head. "I learned a lot about the laws when Dumbledore was trying to help me get out. If it wasn't you, it would've been the next person. It's not like you told them to. It's just what they did."

Potter was quiet again for a while. "I'm sorry, anyway. I didn't mean for any of that to happen. I got to like Dagmar. I never would've done anything to hurt her, let alone. . ."

"Yeah." That familiar heaviness was returning to Draco's chest. "I told Dumbledore this morning that I'm stepping back from the Order. I probably won't attend meetings anymore, but I'll still help out where I can. I'll be around if you need me. We can stay out of each other's way, otherwise."

"Okay."

"Was there anything else to discuss?"

"Not now." Potter slowed. "Guess I'll see you around?"

Draco stopped as well. He wished habit didn't dictate that he meet Potter's gaze, but it couldn't be avoided once he had. Over the years, Draco had seen Potter in various degrees of sulkiness when they attended this school. This felt different as Draco registered how guilt had lengthened Potter's face. It clung to every muscle, pulling it downward. It added crispness to the green in his eyes.

"See you around," Draco replied with a nod.