It's double chapter day! Happy Friday!

There were a few people that wanted to see how Tonks would react to Hermione naming Draco as the spy. Because you're all such wonderful readers, I extended the scene. If you're interested, you can take a quick peek back at Chapter 29.

Chapter 33

Draco fingered the Galleon, flipping it over his knuckles, trying to figure out exactly what he wanted to tell Granger. He was procrastinating because of how their previous meeting had deteriorated into a fight. He had been cruel, bringing up her parents like that. But she didn't understand the tight rope he walked. How he had to consider and reconsider every word, every action that he did for fear it would bite him or his parents in the arse later. How could he tell her about the way he and his father plotted the demise of the Order finances without being tortured or killed for it?

And what's more, he didn't know why Severus had just used him to warn the Order. His godfather had figured out Draco was spying for them, was communicating with them, and had very clearly instructed him on what to say. He trusted Snape, even more so now that he wasn't turning him in. So he had to follow through. But he didn't understand what Severus' endgame was.

He killed Dumbledore. That was a huge blow to the Order, paving the way for the Dark Lord's takeover of Wizarding England.

What was going on?

Regardless of what his motivations may or may not be, Draco had to talk with Granger now. He had to warn her; their previous fight was inconsequential. Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, he thumbed the Galleon.

I want you riding my cock.

Draco lay in her bed and waited for her to answer, placing the Galleon on his chest. Frozen rain pattered on the windowpane and he listened, staring at her ceiling with his fingers laced behind his head. He wondered if she was still angry with him. She probably was.

The room still smelled faintly of smoke from when he burned the plans to the Carrow Manor, and he vanished it with a wave of his wand.

Better.

Draco couldn't get rid of Alecto, and he didn't know how to stand up to her without consequence. He remembered the feel of Alecto's hand on his thigh, inching higher. Recalling that time he was home sixth year… he squeezed his eyes shut in revulsion at the memory.

The Order wouldn't be able to take her out. She would still be around, lurking.

Draco was distraught. For the briefest of moments, it seemed he was gaining some control over his life and working his way towards freedom for him and his parents. But it was all an illusion. He'd be caught. Of course he'd be caught, he was stupid to think otherwise. As Severus pointed out, it was only a matter of time and he was so fucking lucky that it was his professor who caught him.

There was no way out. He didn't know what to do.

The Galleon warmed.

Now?

Yes.

What if I don't want you?

The moments ticked by, the only sound from the frozen rain outside.

Just when he thought Granger was petty enough to allow their fight to get in the way of events bigger than the two of them, she appeared with a crack. Of course she wouldn't. It was ridiculous to think so little of her. He knew her well enough by now.

He shifted to lay on his side and propped his head up, assessing her stance.

Granger's arms were crossed, lips set in a straight line and her hazel eyes were pained. She was still very hurt. And angry. Her hair was loose, curling down around her shoulders. Draco felt his chest tighten when he remembered her tear-streaked face in Trafalgar Square. He had made her feel that way, had made her cry with his comment about her parents. After all she had done for him. Teaching him the Patronus charm, talking through his pure-blood elitism with him, taking him to see Star Wars, and then to the National Gallery. Removing his implant.

And she was doing her best to get him and his family a pardon.

He had treated her terribly.

He couldn't blame her for being angry at not telling her what he and his father were doing for the past few months. But what else was he supposed to do?

Draco sat up to face her and she winced, perhaps expecting him to say something else equally mean.

He raked his hand through his hair. "I shouldn't have said anything about your parents. That was cruel. I can't imagine what it must feel like to not have them with you, or to know who you are. Especially at a time like this."

And just like that, he watched the anger and hurt melt completely from her face. That's all it took. One sincere apology and he was forgiven. No games, no grudges, no pretenses.

"I'm sorry too," her voice was small. "I know you're protecting your parents. And yourself. I can't fault you for that."

She looked to the side, unable to meet his gaze.

"It's alright," he replied softly.

"It's not," she continued, her gaze fluttered to the floor and then back up to him, clearly ashamed of herself. "I don't have to choose. You do. You have to choose between your parents and fighting against him. You must feel torn, and not know what to do."

Draco swallowed. She was so much more than he expected, her reaction more than he could ever hope for. Granger understood how difficult it was for him to aid the Order and protect his family at the same time.

"I think…" she continued, pulling nervously on the sleeve of her jumper. "I think what you're doing is much harder that what I'm doing. I don't know if I would make the right choices in your place."

His heart thudded against his chest at her words. He couldn't believe it. Not only did she forgive him and understand him, she… admired him.

"You would," he replied, his words came out in a rush. He didn't have a doubt. "You'd make even better choices than I have."

She smiled and blushed, shook her head, but said nothing.

"There's something I need to tell you." He rubbed the back of his neck. When he thought of the ramifications of Severus' warning, he realized he was suddenly terrified. There would be a raid. What if she got caught?

But that's why he was warning her. So she wouldn't.

"Alright." Granger's voice had a gentle quality to it. Perhaps she was still emotional from her apology. She looked at him warily and walked back to her chair to sit down. Her large hazel eyes studied him expectantly.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "The Dark Lord knows the Order is behind the missing Death Eaters. Four belonging to the Inner Circle. He knows the Order is growing in strength and will be going on the offensive soon." Granger twirled a finger in one of her curls nervously. "He'll be targeting suspected Order members that aren't in hiding and using my father and I to handle the political fallout since we control the DMLE. No trial. No Ministry procedures. No prison. They'll simply be abducted and tortured for information."

He watched her digest the information. Trying to think of who would be targeted, and what the ramifications would be. She bent one leg, bringing it up on her chair and wrapped her arms around her shin, hugging her leg to her chest and resting her chin on her knee. Her big hazel eyes blinked at him.

"Do you know who would be targeted?"

Draco shrugged. "You'd know better than me who would be most likely suspected as an Order member, but even I know that McGonagall and that gamekeeper would be two of them. They're still at Hogwarts. The Carrows and Snape could decide to ambush them one day and that's it."

Granger looked affronted. Maybe she doubted the ability of the three of them to take down her former Head of House. She could be right, who knew. Briefly, he thought of Severus, who was at Hogwarts with McGonagall and the gamekeeper. Snape would have known that Draco knew of their obvious allegiance to Dumbledore and had all but directed him to warn the Order about it.

But he killed Dumbledore.

He shook his head. He didn't understand his godfather at all.

Mind games.

"And there will be a safe house raid. It's only a matter of time."

Her eyes widened, slightly panicked. "Do you know which one?"

Draco felt somewhat relieved. That was good. They had several safe houses. Hopefully it wasn't the safe house she was at.

"No." He shook his head.

"Do you know when?"

Again, he shook his head.

Draco was going to pay for this. He knew it. Somehow he would pay. If the Order anticipated a raid, they'd prepare for it. Draco would suffer, his parents would suffer… Maybe the Dark Lord would even suspect someone had warned them. It was a death sentence for him and his parents if he was even suspected.

Fuck.

But he didn't want her captured or killed either. And if the Dark Lord's army gutted the Order, they'd lose. She'd die. She had to know. The Order had to know.

"That's… That information will save us Malfoy, thank you." Granger looked genuinely appreciative, and slightly scared. "Do you mind if… I need to send a Patronus to let them know. Now."

He grunted in affirmation and dropped his head into his hands, watching the silvery light of her otter play across the rug. The information he gave her would cost him. He just didn't know how or when yet.

Draco heard squeaking and looked up at her, she was swiveling back and forth in the chair, chewing her lip in thought. She was scared. He was too. He hoped he made the right decision, but he trusted Severus. If the Headmaster told him to warn the Order, then it was the right decision. It must be. It had to be. Draco exhaled slowly, trying to calm his nerves.

"Do you have any more manor plans?"

He intended on giving her the Carrow layout today, but he couldn't now. Severus was right. What else could he do? What was the point of him even being here now? He had done his best to protect Pansy, Theo, his parents and himself. He didn't know what else he could even do for Granger or the Order. And he wanted to get out.

Draco still had no idea how to convince his parents to leave without an Unbreakable Vow. The trust Granger said was needed to secure one was blasted to smithereens now. He had no clue how to regain it without being caught.

"Malfoy?"

Granger interrupted his thoughts. He raised his head from his hands to look at her.

"I'm working on it, Granger. Give me time."

She took a deep breath and eyed him hesitantly. It appeared she wanted to ask him something else but decided against it. Maybe she thought the information he had given her was enough for now.

"Okay," she fiddled with a pen on her desk, bit her lip and then glanced back up at him. She was anxious about something. "Just so you know, Malfoy, there are two people now that know about you."

Draco exhaled angrily. That's just what he needed. More people knowing about this shit show of impossible decisions. "Was that fucking necessary?"

"The first is the one to make the Unbreakable Vow for your pardons. This person has always known."

"And the second?"

"To help me be a better handler," she explained nervously.

He smirked and she looked alarmed at his change in demeanor. He lowered his voice enticingly. "You need help handling me, Granger?"

She blushed. Her gaze dropped to his crotch and she immediately snapped her eyes back to his, horrified that he caught her staring there.

This whole arrangement was a dumpster fire already. Why not pour gasoline on it? It didn't make a difference. Draco was going to die anyway, and everything would turn to shit regardless of what they did. He pushed himself up from the bed and sauntered over to her. Her eyes widened.

Fucking, prissy swot.

He hated this game they were playing. He fancied her. Quite a lot. And he knew she wanted him.

What the fuck was her problem anyway?

He sunk to his knees on the floor in between her legs, and she watched him wide eyed, breathing heavily, unsure of what he was going to do.

He didn't know what the fuck he was doing either. It didn't matter anyway. The Dark Lord would kill him. It was inevitable. Fucking Granger and her goddamn Galleon. He hated not knowing what to do. What a cluster fuck this whole situation was.

Why not take what he wanted while it was here?

He desperately wanted to feel her. To taste her lips. To see her expressive face contort in pleasure. He wanted to make her cry out.

For him.

"I could show you how to handle me."

Her lips parted at his words. "Enough, Mal-"

Draco started unbuckling his belt, already getting hard at the thought of her pressed against him. "I could give you a demonstration right-"

"Is this another Occlumency test?" She interrupted, looking terrified that she had failed again.

He wanted her. And she wanted him. There wasn't much in his life that he wanted, everything was all forced on him. But he wanted her. She was something he chose.

"No." His voice sounded low and gravelly.

Draco abandoned his trousers, half open, and slid his hands up her thighs, breathing heavily, and leaned up into her, between her legs. Her thighs squeezed his torso, and she pressed her hands to his wrists. He slipped his hands up further and dug his fingers into her hips. Her lips looked warm, and she licked them in anticipation. His mouth was millimeters away from hers.

"Then why are you doing this?" Granger whispered.

He paused. He could feel the rise and fall of her breasts against his chest, he could taste her small exhalations of breath on his lips. He could see the hunger in her eyes and hear her heart hammering against her ribcage. Draco brushed his lips against hers, ever so slightly, and she whimpered. Her legs were trembling around him. She was warm. And soft. He slid his hands back and dug his fingers around the sides of her thighs.

He wanted his tongue inside her. He wanted his cock inside her. He wanted her limbs tangling with his.

Now.

"Because I want you," he growled into her mouth.

Granger backed into her chair, nearly shaking, but she didn't have any more room to move. "Stop it," she whispered against his lips. "Please."

He paused, rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, feeling like a balloon that had all the air deflated out of it.

What the hell did he think he was doing?

Draco sagged and lowered himself until he rested his head on her thigh, kneeling on the ground before her. He was such a mess.

"I'm sorry." He sighed and wrapped his arms around her waist, still cradled between her thighs. "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore, Granger. He's going to kill me. It's just a matter of time."

Her whole body relaxed now that he wasn't threatening her. He felt her fingers – delicate and exploratory – threading into his hair and stroking his scalp. He closed his eyes and took comfort in her touch. After a few moments of silence, she spoke.

"What do you want, Malfoy?"

He swallowed. Wasn't it obvious? He spoke into her thigh. "I want out. I want my parents out. I want them safe. I don't…" He inhaled a shuddering breath. "I don't want to do this anymore."

He squeezed her tighter and she continued stroking his hair. "So why don't you all leave? I could hide you. All of you. Forget about spying, I'll hide you and your parents. You don't need to stay. I could do it tomorrow. Today even. Just say the word."

It all seemed so simple to her. Didn't she understand? "They won't come. My mother… maybe. My father won't. And she won't abandon him."

Grangers fingers drew lazy circles in his scalp and he whimpered softly. He could stay like this forever, laying on her warm thighs with her gentle, comforting caresses. He nuzzled his face into her thigh. "Have you talked with them about it?"

"I can't." His voice was slightly muffled as he spoke into her leg.

"Why?"

He lifted his head abruptly. What did she mean 'why?' Why had he insisted she learn Occlumency? Her hand fell to her thigh and she startled at his angry expression.

"Because he'll know!" Draco hissed. "It's the bloody Thought Police, Granger! They don't just exist in a book! Not everyone is good at Occlumency! You know that! If the Dark Lord suspects my mother and father of anything, they're dead! As am I!"

He was breathing hard, and Granger stared at him, debating what to say next.

"Why do you think I need that fucking pardon?" He clenched her thighs hard, and she winced. "My father's in too deep. He's invested too much! Guaranteeing his safety after the war is the only way I know to get him to leave!"

"I…" Granger's eyes were glassy, like she might cry. She cared. After that moment in Trafalgar Square, he knew she cared about him, and here he was breaking down in front of her. "I told you the trust isn't there yet. The fact that you knew about the operation in the states makes it worse."

"Even though I told you about the raid?"

"Even though you told me about the raid. I know they'll tell me it isn't enough. It's…" her voice was slightly hoarse, and she wiped a tear away. "Just give it more time. They'll come through."

He dug his fingers into her thighs again and squeezed his eyes shut, shaking slightly. What the hell was he supposed to do now? Was anything going to be good enough for them? Was it even possible to gain their trust without endangering himself or his family? Was he still trapped? Was he deluding himself into thinking that spying was a way out?

"Then tell me what to do, Granger!" His voice rose in angry desperation. His throat hurt and he felt raw, used up. She averted her gaze, staring off to the side. He shook her and she turned back at him, her expression pained. "Tell me! Because I don't fucking know anymore!"

Granger's bottom lip trembled. "Maybe if…" She looked into his eyes, searching for something. "Can you tell me where You-Know-"

"No, I fucking can't," he growled. That was his trump card, and he wasn't giving it up for anything. "And I won't bother finding out until you give me that fucking Unbreakable Vow first."

She sucked in a breath and spoke again; her voice still had a slight tremor.

"Can you tell me what you and your father are doing with the Wizengamot?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. She knew. Of fucking course the Order would have plants in the Ministry. Was she testing him? To see if he was being honest? It certainly made sense after he betrayed her.

"We're securing support for a bill." If the Order already knew, then he wasn't endangering himself and his father by telling her.

"Yes," she replied, and bit her lip. "To remove the illegality of performing crimes against Muggles. What we don't know is why."

Draco exhaled. So she wasn't testing him. She was asking him for more information. He felt better, even though he deserved her mistrust. He relaxed his grip on her and sat back on his haunches. The tension left Granger's body as well.

"I would assume so that wizards have free reign to terrorize Muggles for shits and giggles. You remember the Triwizard Tournament."

"Yes, I remember. You…" her eyes widened in surprise. "You warned me back then."

He had taunted her. But yes, he did warn her as well. Kind of. It was one thing to terrorize Mudbloods, it was quite another to terrorize Mudbloods that you knew. Draco chuckled mirthlessly. Maybe he wasn't such a dick when he was younger.

"I guess I did."

Granger blinked at him, returning to the topic. "So you don't think it's for anything more coordinated?"

He didn't know. The Ministry was his and his father's domain. Operations were compartmentalized, so Draco didn't know what the larger goal was. His father probably didn't either. Not that Draco would ask him. That would rouse suspicion against him and possibly his father. But Granger had a point. The Dark Lord was brilliant, and he didn't do anything randomly.

The amount of time he and his father would be spending on the Wizengamot for this bill indicated that there was a larger goal. It took months of work and preparation before they succeeded in cutting off the Order's finances, dissolving the Auror office and turning the DMLE into a puppet department.

"It could be."

"But you don't know?"

Draco shook his head "I'm not Inner Circle, and even then, not every member of the Inner Circle knows the Dark Lord's plans. He's paranoid about…" He grinned sardonically. "About spies." She smiled back at him. "Catch the right Inner Circle member and they'll know why."

Granger glanced down at his hands, they were still resting on her warm thighs, feeling the denim fabric of her jeans. He wasn't going to move them if she didn't say anything.

"Do you know where they're keeping Luna? If you could tell us that much, it would help towards gaining trust. Everything you can tell us helps, Malfoy."

Fuck.

He was the sodding prick who brought Lovegood in to begin with, having planned the whole operation with his father. Here Granger was, trying to comfort him after his pathetic attempt to fuck her, trying to help him get a pardon for his family, and the one thing he knew the exact details of he couldn't give her.

"Who?" he lied smoothly, looking her directly in the eyes, puzzled.

Granger sighed in exasperation. "Luna Lovegood. She's a Ravenclaw, a year younger than us. She disappeared a while back over Christmas break, but we only just found out now. Her father was being pressured into silence and didn't tell anyone."

It was easier to lie to her before when there was no guilt. He could still lie and look her directly in the face, but now it felt wrong. Especially now. In this moment. It wasn't purely a decision of weighing the value of shared information against the safety of his parents anymore. His relationship with Granger changed dramatically and Draco felt that he was betraying her deeply by doing so. It made his decisions harder, more complex. Betray his parents or betray her? He couldn't win.

"The one they called Loony?"

"The very one."

"I haven't heard anything about her." Granger eyed him. He could tell she wasn't sure whether or not to believe him. He deserved her mistrust. She looked like she was trying to decide whether or not to press him further.

"What about Ollivander?"

"He's also missing?" And sitting in the same cell as Lovegood. In his fucking house.

"We don't know for how long, but yes. If you hear anything about them, will you tell me?"

He nodded, feeling even shittier than before. "If I hear something. But prisoners are dispersed throughout England. And in Azkaban. I wouldn't know where they're held." She didn't know they had a dungeon at Malfoy Manor. If she knew, she'd ask him point blank who was held there.

What if she found out he lied about this too? There was no way he was going to keep himself and his family out of Azkaban at this rate. He tried to quell the rising panic in his chest. He couldn't win. The cost of a pardon was too high to pay. Torture. Death. But if they stayed… they'd all die eventually. It was the same fate, no matter what he did.

What the fuck was he supposed to do?

Granger's hazel eyes studied him. Maybe she bought it. Maybe she'd realize he was lying to her after processing their conversation at a later time. Maybe she didn't want to press the issue because he had warned her of the Dark Lord's next move. One thing was for certain, she'd hate him if she knew what was happening to the prisoners in his home.

Under his watch.

Draco thought back to how she said that his role was harder than hers, and that she didn't know if she'd make the right decisions in his place.

He didn't fucking deserve her admiration.

She placed a hand atop his and he looked up, instantly consoled from her gaze. She was concerned for him.

"You're scared." She still looked like she might burst into tears at any moment.

Draco pictured Nagini tearing a piece of Charity Burbage's flesh off her body, exposing the ribs underneath while she screamed for help. Chunks of her body moving down the snake's gullet.

He swallowed and stared right back into her eyes.

"I'm fucking terrified."

Her fingers curled around his and she rubbed his skin.

"Do you… want to watch a movie?"

He gazed down at her lap.

"Thanks, Granger. But I'm not in the mood to watch a bunch of sodding teddy bears take out a battalion of Imperial Storm Troopers." He rubbed her thigh with his thumb. He did want to spend more time with her though. "Maybe something more serious and depressing."

"How about the Thought Police?"

oooooooooooooooo

Hermione woke to the feeling of being gently jostled. She couldn't remember where she was but felt safe and secure. Someone's strong arms held her and cradled her close to their chest while they walked. She inhaled and smelled Malfoy's male, musky scent. He was walking upstairs. They were in her house.

Now she remembered.

She must have fallen asleep while watching 1984. She had never seen the movie and knew she would never be able to stay awake, even though she suggested the movie in the first place. Her frequent early mornings dedicated to repurposing stolen Portkeys before combat training had taken a toll.

She was nervous, thinking of how he had just tried to kiss her before they watched the movie. It would be best to keep pretending she was asleep. Being awake and held so close was too awkward, despite the fact that she enjoyed it. She didn't want to have to avoid his advances if she could help it.

Hermione listened to his heavy footfalls as he ascended the stairs and turned down the hallway towards her room. The floor creaked and he turned his body so he wouldn't knock her feet against the door frame when entering her room, dark for the night. Malfoy approached her bed and paused. She wondered what he was waiting for. Her ear was pressed against his chest and she heard his heart beating rapidly while she wondered what he was going to do.

She felt him strain forward and his lips brushed her forehead. Tenderly. A tingling warmth spread from where his mouth touched her skin, and she hoped her body wasn't reacting in a way he could see. He dragged his lips lightly down to her temple and then back up to her forehead again. She didn't dare move, but she was afraid that tensing would give away the fact that she was wide awake. She didn't know what to do.

Worse still was the overwhelming desire she had to throw caution to the wind and pull his face down to snog him properly.

Malfoy removed his lips and she felt him lean over with her, pulling back the cover of her bed. Gently, he laid her down on the bed and covered her with the blanket. He was still there, and hadn't left yet. Hermione felt his fingers brush her hair off of her face, tucking a curl behind her ear. She couldn't tell if she was breathing normally or abnormally, but her heart was pounding at a furious pace. She was terrified that he would figure out she was awake.

She heard a harsh exhale and then thankfully, his footsteps as he walked out of her room, down the hallway and down the stairs before Apparating away.

Hermione opened her eyes and her stomach turned somersaults inside of her. It wasn't just lust Malfoy felt, that was certain. She knew she felt the same, and she was betraying him anyway.

That conversation they had before the movie was agonizing. She felt horrible. She even offered to hide him, knowing he'd refuse. She wanted to help him and he deserved to know the truth about the pardon for his father. But she was afraid that if she was honest, he'd stop spying for them. And then what? His intelligence was critical. The Order might lose. Tonks and Kingsley were right. She couldn't tell him. Perhaps the feeling of being torn between two courses of action that would hurt no matter what she chose was similar to what he was experiencing as a spy.

She tossed the covers aside and sat up on her bed, thinking in the dark, remembering the feel of being held by him.

It was a quiet, tender moment they had just shared together. A stolen intimacy before the impending violence.

Soon.

Somewhere.

While the Order had been capturing Inner Circle members, Voldemort's Army had figured out where they had been hiding.

Chapter end notes:

I'm assuming most folks have read '1984' by George Orwell but just in case, here's a bit about the Thought Police. They'll get mentioned again.

Next chapter: shit hits the fan