I'm really sorry it's been so long between updates! I've been really into my Magnificent Seven fics (and updating those regularly), but am going to try to do better at updating this and my Blue Bloods story. But feel free to come say hello if you read any of my other stories as I try to give this one a little more attention. :)

As always, thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to read, and thank you so much for the reviews last chapter Golden Rabbit (and your gentle reminders to update this story, ha!), Kate998, Ruby, TexasForeverFan, Winterkiss, Duchess of Lantern Waste, Muses, Gina, and Anonymous (and thank you, Anonymous, for letting me know you enjoy my other stories! That means so much!) I LOVE hearing what you guys think.

Chapter 33

"You can't stay here alone."

Sarah stared at Kelly. The last thing she wanted to do was argue with him. But what he was suggesting was not an option.

"I'll be fine, Kelly," she promised. "Stella put lunch in the fridge for me, I can order something in for dinner, and I'll hardly have to get off the couch."

Kelly frowned. "And what about Leo?" he asked.

"He won't bother me here." Even as she said it, she knew it was a lie and could see Kelly thought the same.

"Look," Kelly said, "Just come to the firehouse with me and Stella for the day. Keller said he'd come over later when he's done with his shift and stay here with you."

"Keller?"

Kelly gave a nod.

"I didn't think you liked him," Sarah frowned, wondering how scared Kelly had to be of Leo to allow one of Blake's roommates to stay with her as her protection.

"Yeah, well one of the Three Stooges is better than nothing," he grumbled.

"Ok," Sarah said, giving in. It was more the frustration she could hear building in Kelly's voice than anything he was suggesting that had Sarah finally relenting.

"Good," Kelly said on a sigh of relief. "Do you need anything before we go?"

Sarah shook her head.

Kelly ushered her toward the door, Stella joining them at the last minute to lock the door behind the three of them. She wrapped an arm around Sarah and leaned her head down to speak so Kelly couldn't hear.

"Thanks for agreeing. Kelly's been beside himself trying to figure out how to keep you safe."

Sarah felt her stomach sink at Stella's words. That was exactly why she hadn't wanted to let Kelly into her problems. Because he had taken them onto himself when none of it had anything to do with him.

Sarah rode in silence on the way to 51. The streets of Chicago passed by out her window, but she didn't indulge in thinking about leaving for an unfamiliar city, away from Leo. Because that would mean she was away from the father she was just getting to know, away from Stella. From Hermann and Keller and Donovan. And away from Blake. Even though she knew it had to be over between them, she couldn't bring herself to move her thoughts toward imagining a life completely away from him, whether that was a sign of weakness or not.

She let out a long sigh. She was weak. Leo had been right about her.

"Hey, you good?"

Stella's concerned voice brought Sarah out of her maudlin thoughts. The car was parked in front of the firehouse and Stella and Kelly were both looking at her, concern marring their faces.

Sarah couldn't dredge up a smile to reassure them. Instead she opened the door, well aware that Kelly had pulled right up to the door of the station to save her from extra walking. Stella got out with her while Kelly went to park the car.

"I know you don't want to be here, be around Gallo," Stella said.

Sarah pressed her lips together.

"You can stay near me, ok?" Stella said. "We can hole up in Kelly's quarters, I can send Gallo outside to run drills, it'll be fine."

Sarah nodded silently. Stella held the door open for her and the first person she saw was Blake. The way her heart lurched, she knew it wasn't going to be fine.

Blake's brows knit in concern and Sarah saw him reach for her like it was an instinct. She jerked back before he could make contact and tried not to look at the pain on his face. But she knew if he touched her she wouldn't be able to do what was best for him.

She didn't miss Stella shaking her head slightly at Blake before he stepped back and let them pass without comment.

They were almost to the door out of the garage and into the house itself, when Blake called after them.

"Sarah?"

Sarah stopped, but didn't turn around.

"I still…" his voice trailed off. "I'm here."

Her throat closing off painfully, Sarah moved away quickly, getting inside and safely away from Blake and everything he made her want.

#

Blake sat next to Ritter at the table, shoving lasagna around his plate. His eyes weren't on his food, though. They were on the pretty blonde seated across the room on the couch with Mouch, picking at her own plate of lasagna.

Hermann was leaning in to talk to Sarah and she was listening intently to whatever he was telling her, chewing on her lip.

Blake wondered if she was getting enough sleep. If the baby kicking kept her up, or if it was nightmares about Leo. She looked drained. He wondered when her next appointment was. He could ask. It wouldn't hurt anything to just ask how things were going.

"Don't."

Ritter's quiet voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "What?"

"Don't do it," Ritter said, no real venom in his voice. "Whatever you're thinking, don't do it. Give her some time."

"Give her more time to think she shouldn't have anyone care about her?" Blake asked. He dropped his fork onto his plate with a clatter. "Just keep going on like this?" He raised his voice.

Ritter glanced around and Blake followed his eyes. Kelly was giving him a warning look. Hermann said something to Sarah and Sarah fixed her eyes back on her plate, shaking her head when Mouch offered her the remote.

A familiar voice broke the silence that had settled over the room.

"Hey, Sarah. You ready to go?"

Sarah started to rise from the couch and Blake stared as Keller hurried to her side and helped her up. He released her as soon as she was standing.

"Kidd said she's got a week's worth of Juegos del Corazon recorded for us," he said.

Blake didn't like the uncomfortable stirring of jealousy that started. But then Keller looked over at him and gave him a nod. A promise to watch over Sarah and keep her safe. That was all.

Blake blew out a breath. Sarah had someone keeping an eye on her. That's what was important.

It didn't make him want to be that person any less.

#

Keller handed Sarah a glass of water then settled back into the recliner.

"Donovan's going to be mad he missed this episode. Roberta's split personality explains so much."

Sarah took an obedient sip of the water before setting it on the coffee table. She tried to focus on the flat screen, but her thoughts went back to Blake. Again.

"Is Blake angry with me?" she asked.

Keller swung his gaze over to her. "With you?" he asked.

Sarah couldn't hold his eyes. She looked down at her fingers. She couldn't ask what she really wanted to. If she was doing the right thing. If Blake would understand she was trying to protect him the best she could.

"He's…" Sarah risked another look at Keller and saw him searching for words. He shifted uncomfortably. "He wants to be with you. With your baby," he said with a nod toward her growing stomach.

She had started thinking of the baby as Blake's. When her guard was down, when Blake rested a hand on her stomach to feel the light kicks, she would forget that he was anything but the baby's father. The look on his face told her he wanted nothing more than to be the baby's father.

Keller's left leg bounced uncomfortably, but he spoke anyway, looking at a spot on the floor instead of at Sarah. "He lost his whole family. I think he thought he had a family again when he met you. And the baby. You know?"

Sarah let her head fall back against the pillows behind her. And she had taken that from him. But was that better than Leo killing him. Her thoughts were clouded by guilt, jumbled by fear, until she didn't know what she was supposed to do.

"Hey, it's ok," Keller said, sounding alarmed.

Sarah sniffled and wiped at her tears.

"Look, I shouldn't have said anything. Forget I said anything, ok?"

Sarah nodded, the tears coming no matter how much she willed them to stop.

"Severide's going to kill me for making you cry," Keller said. "I didn't mean anything."

"You didn't make me…" Sarah tried, her voice trembling. "It's not you. It's…everything."

Keller's expression was pained. Sarah took a shuddering breath, drawing on whatever willpower she could find to get her traitorous emotions under her control.

He grabbed for the remote and turned up the volume on the TV. "Look, Roberta's about to rob a bank. And her grandma's in the bank."

Sarah pretended she was interested in the telenovela. She pretended her entire world wasn't falling apart. She pretended she knew how to do what was best for Blake.

#