Chapter Thirty-Three
"Beatrix... Beatrix, wake up!" There was a gentle nudge against her shoulder. The General wanted to swat whoever it was away. She hadn't laid on a real bed in over a week. Couldn't they understand her back was killing her and the pillow was helping ease up her impending migraine? The hand came to shake her again, however, and that's when the droning of the airship filled her ears. An airship bed wasn't nearly as divine as the one in her living barracks, but it sure was better than the cold slabs of Madain Sari. Beatrix gripped the thin cotton blanket, turning her face downward into the pillow, despite the fact it smelled like mothballs. "Beatrix, come on now... we'll be docking soon." The voice was finally familiar to her and sleepily, Beatrix tilted her head to have her vision filled with the tender face of Steiner. His short cropped brown hair was disheveled atop his head. "We slept the entire trip," Steiner said, re-situating the tunic on his broad shoulders. "Lindblum is on the horizon." Beatrix laid flat to the bed now, letting out a long sigh. She rubbed at the side of her face, her brown curls splaying around her. "How are you feeling?"
Beatrix turned her head towards him. "Like a recruit in the army again."
They both managed to smile at each other and Steiner eased down to lay next to her. "Are you... still thinking about what you said in Madain Sari?"
She sighed, folding her hands over her stomach. Beatrix gazed to the dull planks above her head, listening to the consistent hum of the airship engines. "Yes. I keep thinking about what I said and I don't even know what I meant, Steiner. Especially now... after what I saw, I don't know what I want anymore. Everything if affecting me differently than the time's before. I feel like I close my eyes and all I can see is the replaying of that sword going through Bella over and over again. I've never experienced that myself, after countless battles and wars. And I let it happen to her. I'm not fit to be a General."
Steiner pressed his head to her shoulder. "We did everything we can... and you know that whatever is going to happen during a battle... it's going to happen. You can't stop everything, Beatrix. And Eiko has assured me Bella will be fine. I think it will make her stronger." Steiner lifted his head to look at her now. "Are you saying you don't want to be the General anymore? Is that what this is really about?"
Beatrix was quiet for a few beats before uselessly shrugging. "I don't know, Steiner... I don't know what I want anymore. Not after all of this. I don't know if I want to stay in Alexandria or... if I should go somewhere else."
"But where would you go?" Steiner shook his head. After a moment of silence, he wrapped his arms around her. "I can't change your mind about anything. Not you, being so stubborn. But even after everything that has happened, Beatrix, I think there's something beautiful about Alexandria. Sarah, Bella, and Alex are a special thing to me. They're my link to Garnet. No matter how much time wanes on... I can't stop thinking about her. And I feel even stronger for Alexandria than I did before all of this because Garnet showed us she was still here. She's still watching us, Beatrix."
"Maybe that's what I want..." Beatrix whispered, tenderly grabbing the arm wrapped around her midriff. "I was terrified of losing you, Steiner. That's what's so damn hard about caring for people. They could be gone in an instant and you're left to clean it all up. Maybe I just want a link to you." Steiner lifted his head, cocking his eyebrows up. "Maybe... we should have a baby, Steiner."
"Me? A father?" Steiner sat up now, his cheeks burning. Beatrix sat up, too, gaging his reaction. "But Beatrix... you've always been adamant that you never wanted children."
"A woman can change her mind, can't she?" Beatrix tilted her head. "I don't want to die, Steiner, and all they write on my grave is 'Ruthless General. Killed many'. I want to be remembered entirely different."
Steiner looked to her deeply in that moment. The General was at a crossroads in her life. He had been to that same fork in the road tens years ago when Garnet had died. Mortality was staring everyone in the face, one by one. In the seventeen years of peace, maybe she didn't have these things to consider. But yet again, barely making it out alive, had brought all these questions and what if scenarios back to her mind. Beatrix looked absolute, as she always did. After a beat, he took her slender hand in his.
"If that's what you want, Beatrix," Steiner nodded.
"It is... I really do think that."
"Well then..." Steiner's cheeks became red again and Beatrix wondered faintly if he had ever grown used to being in a sensitive moment with her in the past fifteen years. "Let's make a family, Beatrix."
She laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck. "In due time..."
...
Civilization hit Zidane full force, like running directly into a brick wall. A week away from the entirety of ordinary life certainly had him reeling, as it had when he had first returned from his last journey. When they docked in the Lindblum Castle, the cabin was barraged with medics carrying stretchers. Bella was the only one taken out. Zidane followed curtly on their heels but slowed his pace as he emerged into the airship dock of the familiar structure. Plush maroon carpets, tall, gallant gold beams that looked so foreign and futuristic. Sarah stood beside him, also taking it all in. She hadn't been to Lindblum in years. Zidane would lie and say a princess was under the weather to avoid Cid and Hilda's annual anniversary party. "Seasonal allergies" Zidane remembered scrawling on the RSVP card. Zidane took a deep breath and raked his hair from his eyes, looking over the railing of the deck to see the medics wasting no time in jogging away with Bella. His heart wrenched for a moment.
"Daddy!" Was called shrilly across the platform. Zidane's neck nearly broke, he snapped it so quickly to spy Princess Alexandra, clad in a blue and white frilly dress, standing at the stairs descending from the airship taxis. Princess Alexandra dropped her backpack in an instant and darted across the platform. Zidane also wasted no time, flinging his backpack off, his boots thudding to the deck. He leapt the railing to the descending plank and met Alex halfway, collapsing to his knees and gathering her up into his arms. He ran his hands through her curly blond hair, placing kisses all over her head. She wrapped her arms and legs around the torso of her father, using even her tail to hug him. Zidane nearly fell across the floor as he held her so tightly against him. Eventually Sarah caught up and the entire family shared a reunion of happy tears.
"Wait... where's Bella?" Alex looked around, a panic nearly washing over her.
"She's here," Zidane gripped her hand. "She just has to go see a doctor, that's all."
"But... she's okay?" Alex blinked her wet dark little doe eyes.
"She is, pumpkin," Zidane nodded. "At least, she will be." And just like that, he switched into a different state of mind. "Everything is alright, though. Let's go put our things down in the guest room. We can catch up and freshen up. I'm sure the doctor will come find us to let us know about Bella."
"Alright," Alex nodded, turning to go retrieve her forgotten luggage.
"We aren't... going to tell her the whole story, are we?" Sarah asked as she and her father stood. The help of Lindblum was already taking care of their luggage.
Zidane stuck his hands in his pockets. "I don't know what to even say to her..."
"It's only fair we tell her the truth, though, I suppose..." Sarah shook her head. "She'll be angry with us later. She'll find out."
"Yeah," Zidane sighed. "It's best she hears it from us. I think between you and I... we can do it." Sarah grinned, glancing over at her father.
...
Alex wanted to brush her hair when they got to the guest room. Playfully, Sarah tied a ribbon around her tail to raise her spirits. Zidane found himself on the bed, watching his girls chatter on the platform above. He let out a long sigh, stretching his legs out. He was so achy. Zidane wished in that moment he still had the same body as before. He didn't remember being so sore the first time around. Finally, Alex decided her curls were just right and in her energetic way, she bustled down the short flight of stairs, leaping onto the bed beside her father's.
"Tell me about the journey! Did you tell Kuja to leave us alone for good?"
"Yeah, I think so," Zidane nodded. "Actually, Sarah saw to that."
Sarah blushed, leaning against the railing of the platform. "He left himself wide open. Anyone else could have or would have done the same."
"Wow!" Alex's eyes lit up, turning to look at Sarah. "So you stopped Kuja!"
"Everyone else helped, too," Sarah iterated.
"Yeah, tell me about what a great hero and Summoner Bella was!" Alex nodded. Zidane already felt total dread washing over him, knowing he would flounder finding the proper words. Sarah had to clear her throat and cross to the stairs as a means to distract herself. But willingly, and thankfully, the door below to the guest room opened and closed not too soon after. The family watched the stairs tentatively, not quite sure who to expect. Dante emerged, now dressed back in his common clothes of dark pants with a white tunic. He had his hair trimmed and was looking much more refreshed with clean bandages. Alex forgot her first question entirely, leaping from the bed. "And the knighted boy returns!" She paused. "We are knighting him for this, right?"
Sarah grinned from the top of the stairs, descending in her tulip pink dress with the straight skirt. "Of course he will be." She couldn't help but think knighting was definitely fitting. He had the utter most pristine timing on everything. Coming in to her life, especially. "He was quite the hero out there, too, Alex."
Alex squealed at an octave unknown to man. "That means you two are getting married, right?! The Knight and the Princess, oh, how romantic!" Alex nearly swooned right off her feet and Dante's quick reflexes steadied her by grabbing her shoulder. "You should get married in the spring, just like Daddy and Momma did!" Alex looked eagerly between the two. "You've seen the paintings, Sarah! You could even wear Momma's dress!" Zidane grinned, watching his daydreaming girl drift away.
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Sarah shook her head politely. "We've only just returned, Alex. Spring is around the corner, anyway. There's no time to plan anything extravagant."
"Besides," Zidane slid off the side of the bed now despite his body protesting. He came towards Alex, whisking her up into his arms. It had been a long time since he held her and he relished in the feeling. Just another year or two and she would be far too large to pick up. Excitedly, Alex wrapped her arms around her father's neck, her dark eyes looking to him expectedly. "We have something else to plan first. And that might just be a special person's tenth birthday. Don't tell me you forgot!"
"Oh..." Alex's cheeks burned intensely. Quickly, she bucked up. "No, never! I've even been thinking about what I want!"
"What's that, princess?" Zidane asked. "It better not be a Chocobo, I've told you before, we don't have a stable for it."
"Alright..." Alex looked to him as if she didn't quite believe him. "Well, I want cards!"
"Of course," Sarah crossed her arm over her chest.
"And a card tournament at my birthday party. And I want to invite the friends I made in Burmecia."
"You made friends in Burmecia?" Zidane furrowed his brow, shifting her across his hips. "Were there other children at the castle?" Alex shook her head. "You weren't supposed to leave the castle. I told them that."
"You expected me to obey that rule?" Alex tilted her head, a sweet blond lock of hair grazing her rosy cheek. "While you guys were off having a grand, fun adventure together, I was almost bored to death so I had to come up with my own adventure." Sarah nearly face palmed and Dante had to hold a snicker in. "And I met these really nice boys! They have to come, please, Daddy!"
"And just how am I supposed to find these mysterious boys in all of Burmecia to invite them?" Zidane cocked an eyebrow up.
"Oh, I know where they would be, trust me!"
...
Dinner was much a different scene and the change was refreshing and replenishing for Alex. She ate the boar's leg and the mashed sweet potatoes and fried cheese bread. The food in Lindblum was heavy and festive, just how Regent Cid liked it. Wine was free flowing that night as the returned heroes gathered in the gallant dining room of the castle. Zidane was quiet as he sipped his wine. He more preferred to simply observe and offer small quips. But his mind that evening was preoccupied by Bella. Still, she laid in bed with her head tilted and her face unmoving. She was stable the doctor's had reported. Zidane hoped at least she was with Dagger in her slumber. In the glitter of the candlelight, Zidane could spy how pleased Cid was to speak with Eiko again. No matter how reserved and humble he liked to pride himself on being, there was no denying the adoption of Eiko had brought something wonderful to his life; as if she were his own. Eiko glanced down the table at Zidane with her bright face and inquisitive blue eyes. All he could was look down, though, at the ripples in his wine glass.
A butter knife clanked against the side of a glass and a hush came over the table and serving bowls ceased to be passed. Regent Cid stood, his fur cape falling heavily behind his broad, squared shoulders. "Tonight we celebrate a worthy cause; a return of our heroes who, some twice over, have restored the faith and strength of the Four Nations. I find myself lucky to know such wonderful, selfless people. People who would give the shirt off their backs to a stranger. To King Zidane, I give my utmost honor. Your dignity is palpable. To Princess Sarah, Your Highness, may you have your wine like the hero you are tonight. Sir Dante Bare of Alexandria, what you have done for the Four Nations shall not be forgotten. Your family has our loyalty and our service. A toast to you, young man," Regent Cid lifted his glass in a languid salutatory way. Dante sheepishly tilted his head down. From beneath the table, Sarah grabbed his hand. "And, of course, we could never forget our ever-faithful General and Captain of Alexandria. Quite the dynamic duo who has always seen to the safety of the princesses. Lady Freya of Burmecia, your kingdom holds a special place in my heart and as leader of the Dragoon's, I know I can rest peacefully at night. And last but not least... Eiko," Cid turned his eyes on the young woman whose gleaming purple fishtail braid fell over her shoulder. "You continue to make me proud, young one..."
"Here, here!" Lady Hilda lifted her glass. "To the heroes!"
"Zidane, would you care to say anything?" Cid gazed down the long table to the other end. Zidane had his eyes fixated on his plate, but when he heard his name, her perked up at attention, realizing everyone's eyes were on him. He pursed his lips and held his wine glass lamely in his hand before he sighed and rose from his chair. Zidane cleared his throat, tucking a hand in his pocket, as he gazed at all the familiar faces at the table. Alex was beaming like the sun at him. Even Sarah was grinning and it looked so genuine. He let out a sigh, somehow a lopsided grin coming across his face. He hated giving speeches. That had always been Dagger's strong suit. Her melodious voice delivered news tenderly. Zidane only thought he came across as nervous and unsure; everything a king shouldn't be.
"What a strange, strange journey it was," Zidane shrugged sheepishly. "But somehow, like we always do, we manage to squeeze through in one piece. I could never thank any of you enough for what you've done for me... and the continued growth and peace of Alexandria. You are all... my best friends..." Zidane paused for a moment, gazing at the elaborate shiny gold candelabra in the center of the table. "I only wish our other friend's could be here with us... besides Amarant, who just bailed on us... but Vivi, Dagger... I know they would be proud of us, too. At least, I hope so." Zidane straightened his shoulders, looking around the quiet, unmoving dinner guests. "A toast to all of you for helping make this happen. For restoring a world I want to leave for my daughter's; one without tricks and dark secrets... but a world full of wonders and mysteries not yet explored. Cheers for that. To Sir Dante Bare of Alexandria," Zidane turned on the young man whose eyes grew wide at the sudden announcement. Zidane reached to his belt loop, withdrawing a small hunting knife. Carefully, he brought it forward to his shoulder and paused. "As King of Alexandria, I knight thee Lord Dante of Alexandria. Thank you... you saved my life multiple times on that trip. The throne is indebted to you." A round of applause rang out around the table and Dante grinned, his almond skin gleaming in the candlelight.
Sarah looked towards her father. "Wait... but we'll have a real ceremony for him at the castle, right?" Laughter now echoed towards the high vaulted ceilings of the dining hall.
"Cheers!" Steiner grinned, lifting his glass. The group resounded in harmony after Steiner, clinging their glasses together. Between all the movement, Zidane spied Eiko at the other end, beside her father. She was smiling, her head rest in her hand. She lifted her glass towards Zidane and after a moment, Zidane did the same.
...
The crickets and cicadas of Lindblum were a comforting noise. It was a cool night and the smell of sweet pollen drifted through the air with the arrival of spring. For Zidane, it almost felt like the past eight months of his life ceased to exist. Like he was waking up for the first time and it was all just a bad dream. He sat at the highest point of Lindblum, laying across the brick half-walling of the upper balcony. Beside him, the rusty flaking telescope creaked with the breeze. Zidane gazed up towards the stars, carelessly dangling a leg off the edge. A cigarette was perched in his mouth as he lost count in the sky yet again. He inhaled deeply. That angelic face of Dagger in the Iifa Tree was still engraved prominently in his mind. Those soft pink lips and dark eyes with bold lashes and brow... she was the force she always was, summon or tangible. He felt washed-up with the lovesick feeling he had for her. At her funeral reception, many nobles had told Zidane 'it gets easier'. But when? How many hours or days or weeks or months or years? For him, it had been ten years and two months and still, the hardship in his heart remained. After so long, he still couldn't figure out how to process it. Now, it was an even tighter knot in his stomach, knowing Kuja ultimately played a part in it.
"Your Majesty?"
Zidane arched his eyebrows and sat up, lowering the cigarette from his mouth. Dante was standing at the top of the stairs. He took a moment to gaze towards the large mountains, separating them from their home. "Dante," Zidane looked around, realizing he was alone. "You don't have to call me that. It's Zidane, alright?" He flicked his cigarette over the edge. He paused, looking towards Dante. "Are you here to ask for my daughter's hand in marriage?"
Dante looked startled, holding his hands up. "N... no... not particularly," Dante shook his head. "I... had another request to make." The young man crossed the narrow balcony, sitting down on the ledge opposite of Zidane. "Maybe this sounds blasphemous but I believe that it would be good if I could take Sarah on a grand adventure. Take her to the marshlands, to see Burmecia, the Shrine of Cleyra, Treno... I think it would be best she sees the continent she's destined to rule for herself. Let her come to terms with it on her own."
"Huh, wasn't expecting a request like that," Zidane tilted his head. He sighed clasping his hands together. "I can't say no... I don't have a reason to. A year ago, it would have been out of the question but now... with all the shit that has happened, I have no reason to justify turning it down. I only would have done it because I was scared. You two should go and see the world. I think I can hold things down until she's ready to come back and be the Queen."
Dante grinned. "Thank you, Your Ma-... Zidane."
"You know," Zidane brought a knee towards his chest. "Steiner told me he had offered you a spot on the Knights of Pluto. You puttin' that on hold?"
"I want to do it," Dante said, but paused, furrowing his brow. "I am my father's only son. I'm supposed to be a craftsman... an artisan, like all the men in our family."
"Let me ask you a fun question," Zidane reached into his vest, pulling another cigarette from the complimentary silver case of the Lindblum Castle. He struck the match along his boot and looked to Dante as the end cherried. "Do you intend on marrying my daughter, Lord Dante?" The young man's cheeks became as red as tomatoes. "Come on, don't be so embarrassed. It's a pure question: do you want to marry Sarah?"
"Of course I do," Dante said as evenly as he could. "I believe I love her, sir. But it's all with due time, isn't it?"
"If you became Prince, Dante, you couldn't be a shoemaker, anyway. I'm sorry, but it's a packaged deal. She is going to rule Alexandria."
Dante sighed and nodded. "You're right."
"Love always wins, Dante," Zidane exhaled a plume of smoke into the inky night. "Besides... I know exactly how you feel. Before I met Queen Garnet, I was a vagabond. In Lindblum, they called us wandering Bohemians. I stole for a living, put on little theatrical numbers to distract people while we swiped valuable things. Destiny has a funny way about it. The heart wants what it wants and you can't change that. And don't ever wonder to yourself 'how the hell did I get here?' because you'll never answer it. Take it from me."
"You know... stealing was the only way I was able to attend Sarah's birthday party," Dante told him. Zidane arched his eyebrows. "Didn't it seem odd I was there, hanging out with a bunch of Noble kids? The evening of the party, I hung out by the hotels in the plaza. And when some Noble children came out from their hotels, I followed them to the restaurant they were eating at and swiped an admissions ticket from one of their purses. It was wrong, I know. She had come all the way to Alexandria to attend the party, but I wanted to go more, I was sure of it."
Zidane grinned and chuckled, lowering his cigarette. "You know, Dante, we're gonna have the scholars scratching their heads as they pore over the Throne of Alexandria history books in the future."
The sound of heels clacking against the pavement caught the men's attention and they gazed down towards the lower balconies with the slanted moonlit shadows of the pillars. Eiko's slender body, wrapped in a silk robe, emerged in the glossy night time light. She stopped at the base of the stairs, nearly panting. "Zidane!" She called. "Arabella has awaken." Zidane didn't even wait for her to finish the sentence before he stood and threw his cigarette off the balcony.