A/N: Just a warning, this is a heavier chapter and might be tough for some readers. I struggled so much with this chapter, it was hard to write and took me forever.
~You flew off with the wings of my heart and left me flightless~
I tried to push down the panic burning in my chest, the hair on my arms rising at his presence; I've never been afraid of Edward before but at this moment I don't know what to make of him.
I'm trying my hardest not to think the worst but how can I not?
I struggle to keep my voice calm but instead my words quiver out, "why the fuck do you have a photo of a girl with a bloody necklace in your drawer?"
Dread twisted in my gut, waiting for his response.
I don't turn my head to look at him, frozen in my spot. I hear his footsteps slowly creeping to me, each step making me tremble from the inside.
"Why the hell… are you snooping around my stuff in the first place?" His loud, venomous voice echoed in the dead silence of the room - like thunder vibrating through my body.
He's fuming; steam practically projecting from him. Why is he so mad? I'm the one that should be furious and terrified.
His hostility makes me lose all sense of reasoning as I burst; flight mode turning into fight mode.
"I was looking for a sweater. I didn't know that it was such a big deal and that I would find shit like this!" I fumed. I don't know where this strength and courage came from considering how I felt a minute ago.
I stand up and turn around to face him, gasping in shock at the close proximity of his body as I fumble a step back; his eyes piercing and his stance wide – powerful and fierce.
I see the rage; the cruel, wicked side of his mind that overtakes his body. I haven't seen this side of him in a while.
"You don't have to worry, it's nothing," his arms crossed tightly across his firm chest. "I don't wanna talk about it… but don't go through my shit again if you don't want to find something you're not gonna like," he spits out.
He's closing up and pushing me away, trying to scare me off like he did the first day; but is it because he really is a bad guy and I'm just in denial?
He turns to walk away from me. I bravely grab his hand and pull him back, his eyes narrow and burn through me.
"No fucking way – you are not getting out of this one," I jut my chin out. "I've been so fucking patient with you and don't know shit about you. I've told you all my secrets and you're going to hide something this big from me? I'm willing to stay and listen to your story where any other girl would have just run."
"Why can't you just fucking let it go? I don't want to talk about it. It's not what you think anyway," his void devoid of emotion and a blank stare on his face – hiding behind his mask.
"You always hide your secrets and emotions by fucking me, that's all you care about," I hiss.
"I don't hear you complaining when you're screaming my name," he chuckles low and menacing.
"Of course that's all you're going to take from that. Are you even listening to a word I'm saying? I fucking need more than that," I'm choked up with emotion.
He stares at me with a painful silence, his lips tightly closed, refusing to budge. I lose it, my eyes filling with tears. He has this shield up and doesn't even care that he's destroying and stomping on my heart by keeping such a big secret and it's as if he's not afraid of losing me.
"The entire town thinks you're gonna kill me and I deserve to know why! What the fuck happened in California, did you hurt that girl?" I scream in frustration. The second the words leave my lips; I regret them and wish I could take them back.
His mask crumbles and the color drains from his face; etched in pain and misery as his hands tremble. His eyes lost and unfocused.
"Do you think I'd ever hurt you?" His voice grim and weak, head casted down and he's wringing his hands. He ignores my question.
I sigh in defeat. "I don't know what to think anymore Edward. I'm always turning my head at these warning signs; never pushing for more; always being careful around you when it comes to your past but I'm tired of always being in the dark, and after finding this…" I trail off, not knowing what else to say.
"Have I ever made you feel unsafe before? So why the fuck are you gonna believe what they say now? You wanted the dangerous bad boy and now you're afraid?" He paces back and forth across the room, wringing his fingers through his hair.
"This has nothing to do with you being a bad boy, for fucks sake! You have a fucking bloody bracelet in your drawer and I deserve to know why! Also, I heard your conversation with your dad which makes it even more suspicious," I'm seething.
"What did you hear?" He asks through clenched teeth, his eyes widen in alarm.
"That your father thinks you're too unstable to be in a relationship and can't forgive you for something you did that he helped you out of," my voice lowers, my throat scratchy from all the screaming.
His parents can probably hear us but I don't even care at this point. I'm sure they're used to his fits of rage.
He doesn't say anything, he's just paralyzed in his spot; muscles twitching, body shaking, staring at the floor. I can tell he's broken and a part of me doesn't want to abandon him but I need to put myself first and make sure I'm safe; he's not trying to save us at all.
"It's exhausting, how can you love someone you don't know a thing about? I need you to open up to me, what's the point of us being together if you can't trust me?" I swallow, a gaping hole in my chest making it hard to breathe.
I can see the heartbreak in his eyes, the pain gutting him from the inside, ripping him to shreds but he won't give me anything else.
Is this really it? He's not even going to fight for us? All for a secret, is the girl in the photo that important?
The agony in his eyes quickly turns to frightening dread. "Are you saying you don't love me anymore?" His panic unleashing a desperate wildness in him.
"I do, but we can't keep doing this if you don't talk to me. I can't be with you if you're not willing to open up to me," my voice weak, my heart aching. "If you don't tell me what happened, I'm going to leave."
He grabs me by my shoulders and roughly pushes me against the wall, caging me in with his arms as he glares down at me with feral eyes. "You're not fucking leaving, over my dead body." His monster unleashed.
I blanch as panic surges through me and my instincts kick in. This is not my Edward.
I push him away to run to the door and he shoves his fist through the wall on the other side of the room, plaster crumbling to the floor. "Fuckkk!" He roars.
Fear runs down my spine in chills. Before I can open the door, it's kicked open from the other side as Carlisle storms in.
"What's going on here?" He looks terrified, his eyes wide open.
Esme follows in behind him. She runs over to me when she sees the expression on my face and holds me to her body. "Honey, are you ok? What happened?" She says with concern as she caresses my hair.
I'm stunned into silence and can't formulate any words. I just feel my body trembling against Esme as she tries to calm me down. I've never known what it felt like to be comforted by a motherly figure; it makes even more tears run down my face.
"Bella, you need to tell me the truth, did he hurt you?" Carlisle begged with despair.
He completely destroyed me… mentally; physically – no. "N-n-no," I stutter out through my sobs.
Carlisle rushes over to Edward and grabs him by the shoulders frantically. "Son calm down, what the hell is going on?"
Edward is completely gone, in his fit of rage. He tries to push Carlisle off of him, cursing and screaming; he's exploded like a ticking time bomb. His eyes are deep, haunted black pools of sorrow and agony; as if he's dying from the inside.
Carlisle keeps his arms around him, trying to tame his struggling; he's a bit larger than Edward which works in his favor.
Edward collapses in his dad's arms and pools to the floor, sobbing and wailing out in distress. He's muttering words I can't understand with his head buried in his hands. The only muffled words I'm able to hear are, 'I can't lose her' and 'I didn't mean it.' Carlisle is consoling him, rubbing his back and whispering in his ear.
Behind all my fear and anger, my heart crumbles into pieces at what I'm witnessing, a deep ache in my chest that swallows me whole. Edward is way more damaged than I thought and I wish more than anything that he would let me be the one to comfort him and take away his pain. I've tried so hard but he won't let me in.
Edward is having a full-blown panic attack and thankfully Carlisle is slowly calming him down, like he's had a lot of experience with this.
Empathy sneaks into my heart as I forget about Edward's behavior for a moment and focus on his suffering. As much as I'm so frustrated that he can't open up, it's starting to seem like he physically can't or it will lead to a break-down like this. Whatever he has been through is a lot deeper and more scarring than I've assumed.
I know it doesn't make it right, the way he treated me but he's clearly suffering through a lot of trauma. I grieve and weep for him – for us. Connected and feeling every ounce of his pain, digging deep into my soul.
Edward has calmed down a bit but he's a whimpering mess, curled into himself and shaking in Carlisle's arms.
Esme comforts me, doing the same as Carlisle but not saying anything. Her eyes drop to the items I dropped on the floor and they widen in shock but she stays silent.
"Come downstairs with me sweetheart, so we can talk and Carlisle will take care of Edward. I promise he will come around, he just needs some time," Esme reassures me.
I feel exhausted, my muscles aching and my mouth dry. As I follow Esme out of the room, I hear Edward's cries deepen and get louder the further I move away from him, a blade slicing us in half.
A/N: I just want to mention, that Edward is NOT pyshically abusive. He has severe anger and trauma issues and what he does is NOT okay, but he will not physically harm Bella. We will find out everything in due time, hopefully it will make sense and justify some actions but most importantly, they will heal.