Author's note:
Sorry it was late this time. I had to take time off from actually writing to plan and map out their recovery journeys and emotional states, added to my life schedule, made this chapter take longer.
Suicidal warning! Basically Brooklynn dealing with Brooklynn.
"You ready?" the doctor asks.
"No, no, no," Brooklynn moans in her head. Taking a deep breath, she nods. "Yeah."
The doctor begins to take off the bandage over her eye. "It's healing up very nicely." He hands her a mirror.
Brooklynn takes the mirror, and shakily lifts it to examine her eye. The sight takes her breath away. A long gash ran down her eyebrow, across her eye, and ended next to the corner of her mouth, courtesy of the Spino's middle claw. The other two claws left marks starting at her cheekbone, and ending just a little bit above the middle gash. The mark on the right just missed her nose. The gashes were stitched up and beginning to close on their own.
Her left eye was the biggest adjustment. Brooklynn could see that both eyes were open, but no vision came from the left. Clear, virescent green stared at the mirror from her right, and clouded, blurred green stared from her right. Her left pupil was clouding over and a lighter green.
Brooklynn takes a steady breath in before choking out a sob.
"It'll take some getting used to," the doctor says as Brooklynn's mother wraps her arm around her shoulder. "The stitches should be taken out by next week. Your cornea was ripped, which is why your eye is clouding over. You could get a cornea transplant, but there's no guarantee you'll regain all of your sight that way."
Brooklynn nods numbly. "Why did I have to lose my sight?! Why did I have to lose my eye?! Why does it have to look this hideous?!"
"Right now, it doesn't look pretty," the doctor assures her. "But it will heal up and look better. The scars might fade as time goes on."
"It looks hideous," Brooklynn mumbles, trying to hide the fact that the scars were more than just skin deep.
"Well, if you want, you could wear an eye patch over it," her mother suggests.
"I'll look like a freak," Brooklynn sighs, fighting back tears.
"Hey, some people can pull off an eye patch and make it look cool," the doctor chuckles.
"All the famous ones are villains," Brooklynn grumbles.
"How about Nick Fury from the Avengers?" he chuckles. "Or Thor, and his dad, Odin. There's many cool characters that can rock an eye patch. With the right one, you could make it fashionable."
"Those are all guys," Brooklynn argues.
"Angelina Jolie rocked an eye patch," her mother chuckles. "It can be a fashionable item if you have to make it one."
Brooklynn closes her eyes and sets the mirror down on the bed.
"It may not be very pretty, but we can make the best of it," her mother says, rubbing Brooklynn's back. "You can fit it into your style and use it as an accessory."
"My style is pink and peppy," Brooklynn mumbles. "An eye patch won't work with my style."
"We'll figure something out," her mother smiles.
The doctor leaves the room to allow Brooklynn to get dressed in her normal clothes. She lets her hospital gown fall and stares at her body in the mirror. After a moment of staring, she mutters: "I look like a Holocaust survivor."
Skinny wasn't the word to describe her. Skeletal was better. Or better yet, emaciated. All her bones were showing, and she looked like a walking skeleton. Brooklynn's whole body was covered in healing cuts and scratches and bruises from the island. Her chest, back, and arms were covered in a fine layer of hair, a sign of starvation according to Yasmina. She could easily count all of her ribs, and could trace her hip bones. "I always wanted to have a well-defined, curvy waist, but this looks horrible…" she thinks sadly. She turns to the side. The only curviness her body had was bone. "I seriously was kidding myself when I thought I had a flat butt and chest before," she mentally kicks herself.
After truly seeing herself like this, Brooklynn didn't like it. She hated it. "Why did I think starving myself was a good idea?" she asks herself. "I look like something people hang up during Halloween! This isn't beautiful!"
"But I'd be fat if I ate any more food," the depressed voice chimes in her head. "I'll be ugly either way."
"Let's get you dressed," Brooklynn's mother interrupts her thoughts.
"Yeah," Brooklynn nods, putting up a fake, I'm-fine face. "Hospital gowns stink."
"Yes, they're so open and exposing in the back," her mother agrees.
"You can feel a bit of a breeze back there," Brooklynn chuckles, making her mother laugh. She puts on her underwear and a pair of pink, casual sweatpants for comfort.
Her mother hands her a thin bra as she rummages through the suitcase she packed for her daughter. Brooklynn stares at it in her hands. She remembers vividly where and when she got it. She was eleven years old. She had been counting down the days until that shopping trip. Her mother had promised to take her on a trip. There had been many empty promises like that before, but this time, she delivered. Brooklynn was giddy with happiness as they walked around the mall. She had gotten her hair dyed black for the school play she was auditioning for, and gotten lunch after that. Then her mother took her to go bra shopping for the first time. It was exciting for the young girl, the prospect of becoming a young woman. Wearing a bra, even if there wasn't much to cover at the time. After shopping, her mother had given her makeup and hair tips, as well as a couple of lessons about how to be a woman.
Brooklynn grimly realizes that that was the last time she remembered having fun with her mother. She hadn't truly spent time with her mother in about four years. "It might be too late… What if I never have the chance to spend time with her again?" Brooklynn thinks sadly. "Wait, we're not on the island anymore… But what if she doesn't care? What if I go home and they don't follow through on their promise to spend time with me? What if I'm abandoned just like before? What if I fall back into depression and anorexia and commit suicide…"
Brooklynn starts crying as her thoughts begin to tumble downward like a kite in a tornado. Her mother gently rubs her shoulder. "It's okay. You'll put on more weight and fit into your normal clothes in no time. Don't worry."
This only makes Brooklynn cry harder. "Mom's a fashion designer; looks are the only thing she'll care about. How can a fashion designer have an ugly daughter?"
"No wonder she never cared about me," the voice whispers in the back of her head. "I was ugly and fat before. Now I'm hideous and skeletal! What hope do I have of ever earning her love?! I'll go home and they'll forget about me and I'll be stuck where I was before!"
The thought of home is suffocating. "No, I can't go back home!" Brooklynn panics. "Not without the others!"
"They have their wonderful, perfect families," the voice hisses. "Why would they want to have anything to do with me?!"
"Kenji's family isn't perfect," Brooklynn argues weakly. "And they stuck with me on the island."
"They couldn't have just left me, they're too good," the voice murmurs. "They cared for me because we were stuck together. Now that they can go their separate ways, they will. They should. I'll just be a burden to them; a weight on their shoulders. They'll have to help carry my struggles because I'm too weak to do it. I'm taking advantage of them."
"Shall we go see your friends before we leave the hospital?" her mother asks, helping Brooklynn slip her black hoodie over her head.
"No," Brooklynn blurts out.
"No?" her mother asks, confused.
"I mean, yes," Brooklynn backpedals. "I mean, no. I mean… would they want to see me?"
Her mother takes a second to understand what was going on. "Honey, of course they'd want to see you. Darius practically hurts himself whenever you have to leave. Why would you think otherwise?"
"I…" Brooklynn doesn't know how to explain it. "Do you know what I'm thinking? Can you hear my thoughts? If I found a way to tell you, could you understand? If I found a way to ask, could you help me? Would you understand? Would you help?!"
"You depend on them so much," her mother says, closing up the suitcase. "And you know that they care a lot about you."
"Yeah…" Brooklynn murmurs. "You just don't understand. You could never understand me. You weren't there. You don't know what it's like to have your own thoughts turn on you. You don't know what it's like to run for your life, only to have your own thoughts tell you to end it. You don't know… How can you know?"
"If they care a lot about you, enough to hurt themselves to see you, why wouldn't you want to see them?" her mother prompts.
"Exactly that," Brooklynn despairingly. "Because they're good and wonderful and they don't need to hurt themselves to help me."
"Come on, I'm sure you'll feel better once you see them," Mrs. Monell smiles, gently guiding her daughter out of the room.
"I can't go home with you," Brooklynn thinks as they walk. "You don't understand, you don't know. How can you help me?! I know you're trying, Mom, but you could never understand!"
As they walk through the halls, Brooklynn passes by a nurse wheeling a patient in the same direction. Turning back, she realizes it was Yasmina. The older girl didn't look so good. She had a forlorn expression on her face and was staring at her hands. She looked very depressed to Brooklynn, and made the girls heart break. "No, no, no, don't get depressed now, Yaz," Brooklynn's breath hitches. "Don't go down that road, fight it while you can!"
"Yaz!" Brooklynn says.
Yasmina's head shoots up and her depressed expression immediately changes. "Brook!" She holds her arms out for a hug, and Brooklynn readily accepts it. The two hug for a while.
"Hate to break up the cuddles, but could we roll you two into a room before continuing?" the nurse asks.
The girls chuckle and break apart. Brooklynn walks with Yasmina as she's wheeled down the hall. The athlete looks her up and down. "You're wearing different clothes."
"Wait, that's the first thing you notice?" Brooklynn laughs, thinking for sure her eye would be the biggest change.
"For two months, all I saw you in was a pink jacket and jeans!" Yasmina laughs. "It's weird to see you in black and sweatpants."
"Is it a bad weird?" Brooklynn asks, tentatively.
"No," Yasmina shakes her head, before noticing Brooklynn's eye. "Woah…"
"I know, it's horrendous," Brooklynn stutters, turning away.
"Let me get a good look," Yasmina says, reaching up and trying to tilt Brooklynn's head towards her. The Superstar sadly turns to her, and the athlete examines her eye. "Wow… you look like a baddie," Yasmina chuckles.
"Really?" Brooklynn asks, a tiny smile creeping up onto her face.
"That looks really cool," Yasmina laughs. "I'm low key jealous."
"No!" Brooklynn protests. "I can't see out of this eye and I have terrible facial scars."
"But it looks really cool!" Yasmina protests. "I know, I definitely wouldn't want to lose an eye for aesthetic purposes, most certainly not. But it does look super bad… you know."
Brooklynn giggles. "Sammy's not here," she says mischievously.
"Okay, you definitely look like a bada**," Yasmina grins.
"Language!" Sammy reprimands as another nurse wheels her up to them.
"How?!" Yasmina sputters. "How are you always here to reprimand me?!"
The other two girls laugh. "Because, woah…" Sammy notices Brooklynn's eye.
"She looks like a baddie, doesn't she?" Yasmina grins.
"You do," Sammy nods.
"It looks horrible," Brooklynn argues.
"Eh, it's not beautiful, but you could make it work," Yasmina shrugs as they arrive at Darius's room.
The boy's head shoots up as the door opens. "Hey!" he exclaims, extremely happy and relieved to see them. "Woah! New clothes!"
"What?" Brooklynn laughs.
"Woah…" Darius trails off, noticing her eye. "How are you handling it?"
"It's horrendous," Brooklynn sighs.
"Eh, I thought it would be worse, to be honest," Darius admits.
"Really?" Brooklynn asks, wringing her hands.
Ben walks into the room. "Hey, guys!" he exclaims. He was dressed in navy pants and an olive green T-shirt.
"Nice outfit," Yasmina gives him a thumbs up.
"Speaking of, I like yours," Ben grins at Brooklynn. "It's really cute."
"Thanks…" Brooklynn frowns. "Do they really notice my outfit before my eye?"
"Wow," Ben says, looking at her face. "Definitely looks better compared to the last time I saw it."
"I think it could look pretty cool," Yasmina says.
"Yeah," Ben nods, examining Brooklynn's eye. "You could make it look super cool. Put on an eye patch and rock it."
"Or you could get a prosthetic eye," Brooklynn's mother suggests.
"You can get prosthetic eyes?" Yasmina asks, shocked.
"I think it's like a thicker contact," Brooklynn's mother says.
"It won't help with the scars, though," Brooklynn mumbles.
Before her friends can say anything, Kenji hobbles into the room. He had to wear a boot to allow his ankle to heal. He had on khakis similar to the ones he wore on the island—if it were the same, the campers would not be surprised—and a white T-shirt. "Hey, dudes!" he grins. "Nice outfits." He gives Brooklynn and Ben finger guns.
"Why does everyone notice my outfit?!" Brooklynn finally blurts out. "That's normal compared to…"
"Woah…" Kenji's eyes grow wide as he notices the new change. "How are the Avengers doing, Nick?"
"Kenji," Darius groans.
"It actually looks kinda cool," Kenji laughs. "You could make it look so awesome!"
"Seriously?" Brooklynn quirks an eyebrow. Sure, she didn't really expect her friends to tell her it was hideous, but the fact that they had all said in their own way that her eye looked cool baffled her!
"She could rock an eye patch," Yasmina says again.
"Definitely!" Kenji nods.
"I could see you wearing a simple black eye patch with some edgier clothes and a sky-high Arianna Grande ponytail," Yasmina grins.
"Beautiful!" Kenji exclaims, dramatically gesturing to Brooklynn. "Exquisite! Stunning! America's next top model is shaking!"
"You guys truly think that it looks good?" Brooklynn asks.
"Good isn't the right word," Darius says as she sits down on the bed next to him. "It's bad what happened, and it's bad that you lost your sight in your left eye. But it doesn't look terrible."
"There's not much you can do to hide it," Ben smiles. "Might as well wear it proudly. You could make it a part of your style. It's something that makes you unique."
Brooklynn looks between all her friends. This was not the reaction she had expected. She had expected sympathy. She had expected them to tell her that it was going to be okay, that they would still love her even if she was hideous. Never had she expected them to think it looked cool. "I don't look evil?"
"Pffff," Yasmina sputters. "It would take a lot of restyling for you to look evil, Brook."
"I know some people think cataracts look scary, but it doesn't look really bad," Sammy smiles.
"And the scars?" Brooklynn asks timidly.
"Adds to the heroic look," Kenji says, striking a superhero pose. "I have faith that you'll rock this and make it look awesome."
"You could rock any look, Brooklynn," Sammy smiles. "Except maybe punk… I can't see you in punk."
"Good, that's not me," Brooklynn chuckles.
"Alright, you three are free to go home," Ben's mother says as she and Darius's mother walk into the room.
"Oh, if anyone is going to post anything about what happened on the island, please don't mention anything related to Mantah Corp," Darius's mother says. "We're having a preliminary hearing next week to see if there's enough evidence to go to a trial, and we probably shouldn't have a lot of information floating around on the Internet. It could be used against us, possibly, and the jury should be as neutral as possible."
"Were they investigated?" Yasmina asks as Sammy whimpers.
"The day after you guys were rescued, the police got a warrant to search them," Darius's mother explains. "They found a couple Compsognathus taken illegally, and a bloody pocket knife among the evidence collected. DNA tests were done and the blood was confirmed to be Sammy's. I'm not sure how we can lose this trial, honestly, with what the police found."
"Not to mention the fact that we can pretty much prove they found Sammy, told us she was dead, and she turned out to be alive," Mrs. Pincus adds.
"Just don't say anything if you do talk to the Internet," Mrs. Bowman says, looking directly at Brooklynn.
She nods. "I won't." "I don't know if I'll ever be able to talk about what went on there."
"Alright," Mrs. Pincus says. "Time to go home."
"No," Darius protests, holding onto Brooklynn's arm. "You guys can't leave."
"Darius, they're just going to Ben's house," his mother laughs.
Brooklynn and Darius exchanged a look. Neither wanted to separate, but the day had come. Brooklynn gives him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah," Darius sighs, letting her go.
Traveling all over to garner support and start a rescue mission had disrupted the lives of their families to say the least. They had been staying in hotels for most of January. When the campers were brought back to Maryland, the housing situation had to be rectified. Since the Pincus' lived not too far away, they offered their home. Brandon, Milton, and Ghaleb shared Ben's bedroom, while Brooklynn's parents shared an air mattress. Darius's mother slept on the couch. The Gutierrez's and Fadoula's stayed in a hotel during the campers stay at the hospital. Mr. Kon had offered to pay for their stay, but they argued against it. After some arguments—Mr. Kon had insisted—the two families had agreed to pay for half of it while he payed for the other half. "It's the least I could do," he had shrugged. "I own a hotel business."
"Feels kinda like charity," Holly had muttered under her breath.
Brooklynn, Ben, and Kenji arrive at the house. "Aw, looks cute," Kenji says as he steps out of the car.
"It's pretty small," Ben shrugs.
"Sounds quaint and cozy," Kenji grins.
Ben gives his friends the grand tour. "And that's everything," the boy shrugs. "Might not be a lot, but it's home. Oh, this is what my father has dubbed 'The Hall of Fame.' All of our family pictures are hung up along these walls."
"Aw," Brooklynn giggles. "You were a cute baby."
"We have more pictures in photo albums," Ben says, heading into the living room to grab it. He flips through the pages, showing them their family vacations and other pictures.
"What was that picture?" Kenji asks as Ben quickly flips a page.
"Nothing," Ben mumbles.
"Come on, let us see," Kenji grins, trying to flip the page back.
"No!" Ben insists, pulling the book away.
The two boys fight over the photo album and Kenji finally pulls it from him. "Oh, ho, ho, Buttcheek Ben!" Mr. VIP laughs.
"What is it?" Brooklynn asks as Ben cringes.
"Embarrassing," the boy grimaces.
Brooklynn giggles at the picture. It was a three year old Ben playing peek-a-boo with his father… without clothes on. "I wish they wouldn't have put that picture in there," Ben facepalms in embarrassment.
"Well, all we can see is your butt," Brooklynn giggles. "And little kid butts are cute."
"It's still embarrassing," Ben sighs, blushing. "Can we stop staring at my toddler butt and hang out in my room?"
The three move into Ben's room. Ben and Kenji sit down on his bed while Brooklynn flops down in Ben's chair. "Ohhhhh," Kenji sighs. "It feels soo nice to lay on a real bed."
"You probably have higher quality beds at your house," Ben says, sighing with content as he lays down on his bed.
"Still, after hard wood, ground, and hospital beds, this is Heaven," Kenji smiles, folding his arms behind his head.
As the boys discuss Ben's room, Brooklynn slowly pulls out her phone for the first time since the accident and checks Youtube. She couldn't keep up with all the comments before. Now after not checking it for two months, it would be impossible. To her surprise, she finds that her brother has kept up with a lot of her channel. Most of the comments were asking if she was okay and whatnot, anyway. "Is she okay?! The news won't tell us anything!" One fan commented.
"I should probably do a live stream or something," Brooklynn bites her lip. "Something to let them know that I'm okay." The thought of her followers seeing her eye made her stomach turn.
"You okay?" Kenji asks, breaking her train of thought.
"Yeah," Brooklynn sighs. "I think I'll do a live stream for my followers, but…"
"I have an eye patch somewhere," Ben smiles, diving under his bed. "I dressed up as a pirate at some point…"
"I'll help you look," Kenji says, ducking under the bed next to Ben.
"You think she should be doing a video for her followers now?" Ben hisses.
"Not really," Kenji whispers. "She's too sensitive about her eye and skinniness. If someone mentions it, I fear she'll break down on camera."
"She wouldn't be happy about that," Ben whispers.
"No," Kenji shakes his head.
"What should we do?" Ben asks.
"Distract the viewers," Kenji says, and lays out his game plan.
A few minutes later, Brooklynn was begrudgingly donning a pirate eye patch and setting up her phone on Ben's desk. "You don't have to do this," Ben reminds her as he sits down at his bed.
"I know," Brooklynn says. "But… everyone's wondering what happened." With a reluctant sigh, she starts a live stream. Quickly, Brooklanders begin to watch. "I forgot what I'm supposed to do," Brooklynn panics. Awkwardly, she says: "What's good, Brooklanders?"
Questions in the chat box begin to flood in. "What happened?! Nothing's out in the news other than you kids are alive!"
"We wanted to keep things private while recovering," Brooklynn explains, pulling up her peppy, curious Youtuber filter. "And some of the group hates cameras, anyway." She chuckles at the thought of Yasmina trying to do a live stream.
"HOW DID YOU SURVIVE?!" another person asks.
Brooklynn chuckles. "Through blood, sweat and tears."
"What's up with the ugly scar and eye patch?" a cruel troll asks the one question she was dreading.
Brooklynn's throat closes up at the use of the word "ugly," and tears start to well up. "Everyone thinks I'm ugly," the voice pounces. "How can my followers like me? It's all about the image, my image is ruined!"
"It was valiantly lost during the battle with Hela," Kenji says, breaking her of her thoughts. He rolls her out of the way and begins to spin a tale, painting Brooklynn as Thor who lost her eye in the battle during Thor Ragnarok.
Ben gets down from his bed and gently grips Brooklynn's shoulders as she cries. "You're not ugly. Haters are gonna hate, like Beyonce said."
Brooklynn chuckles through her tears. "I think you're thinking of Taylor Swift's Shake It Off."
"Whatever, some secular artist said it," Ben rolls his eyes. "It's okay. Don't let their opinions bother you. You're beautiful. And according to Kenji, you're valiant Thor who lost her eye in battle with the Norse Goddess of death."
Brooklynn chuckles and tries to compose herself.
"Take as much time as you need to feel better," Ben smiles, moving into view.
"Who are you?" yet another commentator asks.
Kenji holds his hands out and gives the camera a haughty smile. "Is it not obvious. Your savior. I am the great Loki, God of mischief. The Asgardian son of Odin."
"Nice try, we know you're the Frost Giant son of Laufey," a fan retorts.
"Nonsense!" Kenji exclaims in character. "I am a God!"
"Alright, God, step aside," Ben says, pushing Kenji out of view. "We all know that she lost her eye to Goose, the Flerken!"
"Alright, Capsicle," Kenji switches between Loki and Iron Man. "We all know that Nick Fury's past needs to be kept a secret."
"Sometimes secrets need to be revealed for the greater good," Ben says, trying to sound as heroic and patriotic as Captain America.
"Well, why don't you and Pissant tell the viewers how you paralyzed my best friend?" Kenji retorts.
Ben chuckles. "I actually have no idea what you're talking about. I have the basic idea of Marvel."
Kenji gave the boy the most offended look.
"Okay, enough Marvel talk," Brooklyn laughs, putting on her Youtube persona and shooing the boys away.
"Where are the other three?" a fan asks.
"Darius, Sammy, and Yaz are still in the hospital," Brooklynn explains. "They had more severe wounds inflicted upon them."
"Why you so skinny?" a comment comes in.
"Uh…" Brooklynn is taken aback by the question. "I was starving on the island, how could I not be skinny?!"
"I will never look good enough for them," the voice hisses. "I'm never going to look perfect. No one will want this ugly hide I have. I should just give up, it's not worth the effort…"
Taking up their job, Ben and Kenji distract the viewers. Hearing commotion, Brooklynn turns around to see Kenji and Ben overly dramatically waltzing around the room. Kenji was trying to have a proper expression on his face, but looked like he had swallowed a lemon. Ben was trying not to laugh at the awkwardness of their dance. The voice in her head is silenced as Brooklynn loses it. Kenji tries to dramatically dip Ben, but the older boy ends up fumbling the move and dropping Ben. He tries to catch his friend and trips over Ben's feet, causing him to fall on top of the boy.
"Don't ever try to dip Sammy," Brooklynn thinks as she wheezes hysterically.
"What is wrong with your companions?" a Brooklander asks.
"Many, many things," Brooklynn laughs. "The Loki/Iron Man one is Kenji and the pre-buff Captain America is Ben."
"Hey!" Ben protests with a laugh.
"Wait, woah, what happened to your eye?!" a new fan asks as they join the live stream.
Brooklynn's breath hitches as she reads the comment. "Stop asking, stop asking!"
"Whooooooooo lives in a pineapple under the sea!" Kenji starts, looking at Ben. The younger boy stares at him in confusion as Brooklynn rolls out of view. "Oh, come on!" Kenji exclaims. "You telling me you've never heard Spongebob Squarepants theme song?!"
"Nope," Ben shrugs. "Not sure how that relates to anything right now, either."
"Because… pirates!" Kenji says, chuckling sheepishly at the viewers. "Am I crazy, or is he crazy?"
"Ben" was almost the unanimous answer, until one person said otherwise. "Nah, bruh, Mayo Boy is the crazy one," KatnissWidow#1 comments with an evil smirking emoji.
"Okay, I know for sure that that's Yaz," Kenji laughs.
Brooklynn calms herself and smiles gratefully at the boys. "Thank you," she mouths as she rolls back into view.
"Okay, BIG question," a fan comments. "Any ships?"
Brooklyn laughs. "Uh, currently, there are crushes, but no couples. Some don't return the feelings, while others can't date until they're older. I'm not going to confirm who likes who. Don't want to put any pressure on the ones who don't feel any romantic feelings. Also a particular friend would kill me if you guys start shipping h-them with the one who has a crush on them."
Kenji and Ben laugh at her attempt to talk anonymously about the relationships of the group.
"What about friendships?" another Youtuber Brooklynn collaborated with asks.
"Definitely," Brooklynn nods. "I'm not sure how we cannot be friends after all that. Actually, we're more like family. Kenji is my older brother and Ben's my younger brother."
"Wait… oh, right, I'm thirteen, you're fourteen," Ben laughs. "It feels like I'm older than you."
"It does," Brooklynn nods.
"What was the worst part about living on the island?"
"Almost dying," Brooklynn chuckles.
"What was the best part?" another asks.
"Um…" Brooklynn thinks for a moment. The immediate response that came to mind was: "Being cut off from the opinions of social media." She rejects the idea. "Why would I think that? I hated it!"
"Finding true friends and family and… just being able to form candid, strong friendships forged through the shared trauma," Brooklynn shrugs.
"D*** gurl, how much weight did you lose? You used to be thiccer than a bowl of oatmeal!" a calloused troll comments.
Brooklynn just about bursts into tears at the comment when Kenji and Ben start play-fighting, allowing her to roll away and sort through her thoughts. "I used to be hot, and now I'm hideous!" the voice hisses.
"Just stop! Why do I have to keep thinking this way?!" Brooklynn argues in her head. "Why can't I just be confident in who I am and not be bothered by others' opinions?!"
"I have to have something to be confident in," the voice murmurs. "That's the problem. There's nothing about me to be confident in!"
Brooklynn is distracted from her thoughts when Ben almost falls on top of her. "Combo move!" Kenji exclaims, pretending to be a video game fighter. Ben finally accepts defeat and Kenji declares his victory.
"You two are so annoying," the calloused troll comments. "I liked it when Brooklynn was sexy and you two didn't exist."
Immediately, Kenji and Ben's demeanor changes. "Alright, listen here, you troll," Kenji says, staring darkly at the camera. "If you ever say anything inappropriate about Brooklynn again, I will kill you. If you ever imply that she's anything less than beautiful, I will kill you. If you ever try to hurt her with your words again, so help me, I will fricking kill you."
"Feed you to Rexy, perhaps," Ben suggests, his smile turning into a sinister frown very quickly.
"Don't forget about me," KatnissWidow#1 comments.
"Oh, yes," Kenji nods. "If we get to you first and you survive, Yaz will make sure you're dead. If she gets to you first, well, guess we don't have a chance at you."
Brooklynn smiles tearfully as Kenji and Ben threaten the troll. "These are the protective older brothers I've always wanted. Family that will run a troll off and protect me."
"I don't deserve them," the voice argues.
"Just stop it!" Brooklynn yells at the voice.
Finally, the two boys managed to run the troll off, and Brooklynn returned to answer a few more questions. A late comer again asks what happened to her eye. Thankfully, the viewer was more gentle with their question, and it was out of curiosity more than hating. Like clockwork, Kenji began to spin a tale. "Well, she was walking along a road, you see," he says with a Scottish accent. "And she tripped and fell. And something impaled her eye. It was an axe sticking up from the ground… It was an axe-ccident!"
Ben and Brooklynn start laughing.
"And so we were all wondering, 'What is this axe doing lying around? Whoever left their axe here should be axe-ecuted!'"
"Kenji," Brooklynn half groans, half laughs.
"We should axe around and see who's axe it was!" Kenji exclaims, wheezing at his own puns.
"We need to go give them a slice of us!" Ben grins.
"Oh, come on, guys," Brooklynn smirks. "I buried that hatchet a while ago."
The boys collapse into hysterical giggles. The three go off on a tale of Vikings and axes that gets more ridiculous by the minute. By the end of the tale, Brooklynn was feeling much better. The voice had disappeared for the time being, and talking about her eye didn't cause tears to well up. In fact, poking fun at her injury with Kenji and Ben turned out to be fun.
"Well, that's all for now, Brooklanders!" Brooklynn smiles. "Subscribe and click the notification button for more videos like this!"
"With those two bozos now here, definitely!" one last comment comes in before Brooklynn ends the live stream.
She sighs and leans back in the chair. "So?" Kenji shrugs. "How are you doing?"
"Shockingly, I feel better," she smiles. "I guess after a while, it became fun to poke fun and make up stories."
"It doesn't hurt to think about your eye?" Ben asks.
"Honestly, no, it doesn't," she smiles.
"Really?" Kenji asks.
"Yeah," Brooklynn nods. "Thanks for helping me, guys." She pulls the boys into a tight, thankful hug.
"The weather's looking really nice," Sammy says, looking out the window.
"Yeah… lot's of clouds," Darius says, forcing a smile.
"Nice weather for… playing outside…" Sammy says, her happy facade cracking.
"We're all either bed ridden or unable to walk," Yasmina glumly reminds them.
"Let's not get depressed," Sammy says, faking a smile. "Let's play a game."
"Sure," Darius nods.
Sammy pulls out a deck of cards and begins to create three piles. "Yaz? Wanna play?"
"No," the athlete mumbles, still staring at her hands.
"Come on, let's do something fun!" Sammy says. "No need to sulk and be depressed!"
Yasmina looks up at her. "You be happy, Cowgirl. I'm fine the way I am."
"What's wrong, Yaz?" Sammy asks. The athlete is silent. "You know you can tell us anything," the Texan reminds her. "You don't have to hold in your feelings."
"So why don't you tell us what's bothering you?" Yasmina retorts. "We're not stupid, Sammy. It's not hard to figure out that you're faking your cheery attitude, and Darius is just going along with it because he feels like he has to. So please, if we're going to have a group therapy session, why don't you go first?"
The three fall silent, knowing that Yasmina was right. Sammy—hating the silence—tries to lift their spirits again. "I know it seems hopeless and depressed right now, but I believe we're going to make it. God got us through it, and he'll get us through this. I just know that this is part of his plan and—"
"So you serve a God that put us through all of that?" Yasmina hisses. "And yet you still believe he's going to heal you? Why put you through it just to heal you?"
Sammy opens her mouth to answer, and Yasmina silences her. "Just drop the act, already. You're not as good of a liar as you were before."
Sammy closes her mouth, close to tears. The three sit in depressed silence once again. After a few minutes, Sammy checks her phone and perks up. "Brooklynn's doing a live stream on her channel."
Darius and Yasmina lift their heads. "She shouldn't," Yasmina growls. "The Internet will tear her apart like a pack of Compies."
"She's too sensitive about her looks right now, what is she doing?" Darius asks, really worried about his friend.
Sammy and Yasmina wheel themselves close to Darius's bed so they could all see the live stream.
"What's up with the ugly scar and eye patch?" one hater comments.
The three can see Brooklynn's filter break, before Kenji butts in and pretends to be Loki. "Just end the live stream," Darius murmurs. "Just end it, don't come back on."
Ben and Kenji continue their Marvel banter before Brooklynn reappears. Darius, Yasmina, and Sammy groan in anxiety. "Just get off, they're not going to be nice to you," Yasmina grits her teeth.
Another comment asks her why she's so skinny, and the two boys begin to waltz. The campers forget about Brooklynn for a second, distracted by their antics.
"What's wrong with your companions?" another fan asks.
"Okay, I have to join in on this," Yasmina laughs.
"What? Asking questions?" Sammy asks.
"No, giving Brooklynn encouragement," Yasmina frowns.
"There's not too much of that right now," Darius sighs wearily.
Another viewer asks about Brooklynn's eye, and Kenji begins his Spongebob run. "Am I crazy, or is he crazy?" Kenji asks the viewers.
The unanimous answer is "Ben," except for that one "Kenji." "Okay, I know for sure that that's Yaz," Kenji laughs.
"KatnissWidow#1?" Sammy asks.
"I have to be incognito," Yasmina shrugs. "You know, so that Brooklynn can feel loved."
"Kenji just outed you," Darius laughs.
The three watch as Brooklynn answers questions about life on the island. Things seemed to be going well, and their anxiety began to ease. "D*** gurl, how much weight did you lose? You used to be thiccer than a bowl of oatmeal!"
"Did he just?!" Sammy asks in horor.
"That's it, who said that?!" Yasmina growls, immediately trying to track down the troll.
Darius can feel anger inside him rising. "How dare they speak to her like that?!"
Kenji and Ben begin to fight like video game characters to distract the viewers while Brooklynn recomposed herself. "Just get off, just get off, Brooklynn," Darius repeats in his eye, wishing he could get out of bed and hunt down that troll. He just knew that Brooklynn was damaged by those words; he could feel it.
"You two are so annoying," the hater comments. "I liked it when Brooklynn was hot and you two didn't exist."
"That greasy, low-life scumbag!" Darius spits, shocking Sammy.
"I'd even say b******," Yasmina says, raising an eyebrow at Sammy. The Texan purses her lips, but given the situation, agrees with the athlete.
Kenji and Ben begin to threaten the troll, and Yasmina joins in through the comment thread. As they do, Sammy looks at Darius. "We need to pray for Brooklynn, I have a feeling she's not feeling good after those unkind words."
"Agreed," Darius nods, taking a hold of her hand.
"You do that," Yasmina rolls her eyes. "I'm gonna track down this troll for future references. Totally not going to murder him in the future."
Sammy rolls her eyes and bows her head. "Father, I pray for Brooklynn. Help her to be strong in the face of these comments and to know her true worth. Help her to know how beautiful and wonderful she is, and how loved she is. Show her your unconditional love and show her that she is your daughter. Give her the confidence to stand no matter the opposition and not be moved by other people's opinions. Heal her of depression, oh Lord, and this desire to starve herself. Give her the happiness and the strength to break free of those chains and become a new person. In Jesu—Oh, and keep Yaz from commiting literal murder."
The athlete quirks an eyebrow at her.
"Lord, give Brooklynn the ability to break these chains binding her," Darius prays. "Give her happiness and let her know that she is loved and has no need to go to random faces on the Internet for love. Help her find her true identity. In Jesus name, amen."
Yasmina bites her tongue and pretends she didn't hear them. "So stupid," she rolls her eyes. But on the 99.999999 percent chance that there was a God, Brooklynn needed all the help she could get… so the athlete holds her tongue.
"All right, time for you girls to head back into your rooms," a nurse appears in the doorway.
Instantly, Darius can feel his anxiety rise. "They'll be safe, they'll be safe…" But as they left the room, his anxiety grew. "This is going to be one long night…"
Back at Ben's house, the three were sleeping in his bed. Brandon, Milton, and Ghaleb were kicked out onto air mattresses in the living room while the three campers shared Ben's bed. Originally, Brooklynn's parents had protested the idea of their daughter sharing a bed with two boys, but they had insisted nothing would happen; claiming they were too much like siblings to want to do anything. Kenji pretended to throw up to prove his point.
Brooklynn sat up in bed and scrolled through the comments on her latest live stream. She had gotten mixed reviews. "Ew, the pink b**** is back." one comments.
"Why couldn't you have just died on the island?" a regular troll asks.
Still, another goes farther. "You should just kill yourself."
Brooklynn covers her face in turmoil, wipes her good eye in exhaustion, and continues to read.
"My mom actually considers your channel educational," one says. "I'm so glad you're okay."
"OMG! HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?! YOU'RE SO TALENTED!" A kid writes.
To Brooklynn's delight, another comments: "All these trolls are disgusting! This young lady went through Hell and survived! Stop hating on her!"
And thus, the battle in Brooklynns head began. "Everyone wants me to die. Why go on?"
"No, people do like me," Brooklynn argues tiredly. "There are some good comments."
"They'll all go away in time," the voice mutters. "I started out with no haters and they multiplied as time went on. How could I possibly believe that they won't grow more? All they've done is grown stronger and bigger! Pretty soon, I'll have no followers. Eventually… my friends and family will leave me… My family already left me. If they left before, why wouldn't this promise be broken? Eventually, they'll leave and I'll be left alone…"
"Just stop, Brook," Brooklynn groans, covering her face. She had fought all week against these thoughts since their rescue, but her strength was fading and depression was striking in her weak moment. "My friends are there for me. I can always come to them with my problems."
"I can't wake them, I'll be bothering them!" the voice wails. "I'm just a burden to them. They would be better off dropping me. The whole world would be better off without me… I should just end it right now."
Brooklynn sobs, tired of hearing that thought echoing in her mind. "Why can't this just end?!"
"They're fine, they're fine!" Darius repeats over and over and over again in his head, trying to calm his heart. "You don't have to be with them 24/7! They lived with their parents for ten plus years, they'll be fine!"
"Their parents don't know how to deal with the danger we faced, what if they can't protect them?!" the worrying voice asks. "What if they're hurt now? Brooklynn's parents ignored her, how can I trust them to protect her? If she kills herself, it'll be all my fault! What if Yaz's leg is infected and the doctors don't notice? It's my fault, she lost it to save me. I decided to cauterize the wound, which can lead to infection. If the others die, it'll be my fault!"
Darius cries out in anxiety and pain. It hurt, physically hurt to think about losing them. The nightmares of losing them floods his mind, further tormenting his soul. "I can't stay here," he tells a nurse as she comes in. "I have to find them, I have to be with them! I have to make sure they're okay!"
"I think it's time we sedate him," the doctor says to the nurse. "There's no way he'll get through the night like this."
"Come on, come on," Yasmina grinds her teeth as she tries to hunt down the troll who hurt Brooklynn. "Where is that stupid scumbag?!"
Her search results get her nowhere.
She sighs in frustration and flops back in bed. "I have to find him," she mutters aloud. "I have to make sure he never hurts her like that again. I would never forgive myself if she…"
"I have to make up for everything," the thought comes. "I'm sure that she lost her eye because of me. I just know it. Darius got hurt because of me. If I hadn't just died… because I lived through the attack and survived with a bleeding stump, I slowed down the others and he had to sacrifice himself for us."
Yasmina grits her teeth, seething in self-loathing. "I have to make up for it," she thinks. "I can't let Brooklynn kill herself. Darius wouldn't be able to live, and it would be my fault. I'm their older sister. I have to protect them. I have to make up for… living…"
Brooklynn's sobs wake Kenji and Ben. "Brook?" Kenji mumbles, grunting as he tries to wake up.
Ben is immediately at her side, rubbing her back. "What's wrong?"
"I didn't mean to wake you," Brooklynn murmurs through her crying.
"Did you have a nightmare?" Kenji asks, crawling to sit in front of her. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes, unintentionally making Brooklynn feel guilty.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you guys!" she wails, trying to keep her voice down to avoid waking the others in the house.
"If you're struggling with something, you can wake us all you want," Ben assures her.
"But I don't want to wake you!" Brooklynn cries. "I don't want to be a burden!"
"You're not a burden," Kenji whispers in the dark. He strokes a wisp of hair back behind her ear. "What's going through your mind?"
"Somebody told me to kill myself," Brooklynn hiccups, covering her mouth with her hands. "Now the thought won't leave."
"DoN't!" Kenji exclaims, his voice cracking as he moves forward and pulls her into a hug. "Don't even think about it."
"I'm trying!" Brooklynn sobs. "It won't leave! It's been lurking in the back of my mind all week and… I'm so tired. I'm so exhausted. Fighting against it is so tiring and it won't let up!"
Ben wraps his arms around her from behind and holds her tightly.
"I can be strong," she whimpers. "But attack after attack after attack all day and night leaves me weak… Sometimes I get so tired I wanna give in."
"Don't give in," Kenji tells her. "When you wanna give in, talk to us. We'll help you fight."
Brooklynn weeps as they hold her. "How can you help me?"
"By telling you the truth," Ben says. "Those thoughts you're hearing are lies. Lies can only be defeated by the truth. What are the lies?"
Brooklynn sniffs. "All my friends and family will leave me."
"We will never leave you, and that's a promise you can count on," Kenji says firmly.
"We will never leave you, and your family is making an effort to earn your trust back," Ben says. "Even if they fall short of that promise, we're your family. And the door is always open at my house. You can call our families your family. You're not alone, and you will never be alone."
"I'm a burden to you guys," Brooklynn cries.
"Listen, depression is the burden, not you," Ben explains. "It's a heavy weight that you're carrying. We don't have to be involved in any way, shape or form with you. We chose to be friends with you. We didn't have to stick together after leaving the island, we chose to stick together. We didn't have to be friends, we chose to be friends."
"Yeah, depression is a heavy burden, but you don't have to carry it alone," Kenji agrees. "No one said we had to help you carry it, we want to help you carry it. We care about you, and we want to help."
"I don't deserve you guys," Brooklynn sobs into Kenji's chest.
"Do you think we deserve each other?" Kenji chuckles. "I was a selfish, lazy butt when you guys met me. Do you think I deserved the kindness and compassion you guys gave me?"
"I was a jerk to Sammy and you after we met up again on the island," Ben says. "Did I deserve your forgiveness? Our friendship isn't about what we deserve. We all could find reasons why we don't deserve each other. But that's not gonna stop us from being friends."
"The world would be better off without me," Brooklynn cries, letting out every thought that was tormenting her one by one.
"Everyone has a purpose, even if it's as simple as being a garbage collector," Ben says. "You have a unique purpose that no one else can have."
"Don't kill yourself," Kenji says. "Just hold on until the sunrise."
"I'm hideous and ugly," Brooklynn cries.
"You're beautiful and wonderful and unique," Ben says. "No one else looks like you, and you're beautiful in your own way."
"You don't see yourself the way everyone else does," Kenji says. "You are very beautiful, and the scars and the cataract don't change that natural beauty you have."
"It just adds to your uniqueness," Ben smiles.
"I don't feel like I'm meant for anything great," she cries. "How can I know that I was meant for something? How can I know that I was meant to help people and not harm them? How can I know that I'm beautiful and… I'm just a tormented, broken person! Every thought is turmoil and sorrow and pain! I'm a troubled teen!"
"You are not," Ben argues. "It's in your name."
"What?" Brooklynn sniffs.
"'Brooklynn' means 'one who lives by a brook,'" Ben explains. "We all know that when you're in the wilderness and trying your best to survive, a river—even if it's a small brook—can mean life. When you live next to a brook, you find water, shelter, fresh greenery. Plants grow greener by the brook; animals come by to drink and provide you food."
Ben rubs her back. "You're one who lives by the brook. In the tough jungles of depression, you reside by the life-giving brook and find peace in it's waters."
Brooklynn let's out a small whimper.
"Your middle name, Trixie?" Ben says. "Short for Beatrice, which means 'Bringer of joy.' You are a person of peace and life. You are a bringer of joy. These dark thoughts, these demons telling you otherwise are trying to discourage and knock you off course. They're trying to convince you that you're troubled and ugly and a burden and everything else that's a lie. Don't believe those lies."
As the night wears on, Brooklynn continues to voice the tormenting thoughts she had and Kenji and Ben continue to dispute them. As morning came, the three release each other, muscles stiff from staying in the same position all night. "Thank you," Brooklynn nods, wiping her eyes. "For telling me what's real or not real."
"Always," Ben smiles.