What if? Chapter 33: Another story that's sad and true, a percy jackson and the olympians fanfic

Beginning Notes

slight trigger warning: this chapter includes implied homophobia, so if you aren't comfortable with that, feel free to skip this one

Solace Di Angelo (ao3): What if the reason Will Solace is a year-rounder was because his mom doesn't accept his sexuality?

This is literally so sad to think about, because I like to believe that Will's mum either doesn't know, or was at least accepting of him, or even better supportive of him. But alas, not everything can always be like that. Sadly there are still so many people unaccepting of LGBTQ people and it literally breaks my heart. But yeah, this is a great prompt and truly a 'what if?' so thank you so much for that.

The title for this chapter are lyrics from Gone by Rosé and the characters belong to Rick Riordan. Now, onto the story.

Will

Will was ten years old when he first came to camp. He remembered it quite well, with that day being the first day he'd ever encountered a satyr (and also some other not-so-nice mythical creatures).

He'd made a lot of new friends at camp, and after he was claimed by the god Apollo, he got quite close with the half-siblings he never even knew he had.

The first year he'd only stayed there for the summer, like most campers did. He didn't really understand how some campers could stay away from home for so long, because after the summer when he finally got home again, he realised how much he'd missed his mother.

The moment she opened the door to let him inside, he flung his arms around her neck and embraced her in a tight hug.

'Woah, hey pumpkin! How was the camp?' she asked him.

'It was fun, but I missed you,' he told her. And he remembered the soft smile she'd given him then, how it felt like it radiated warmth.

'Oh, but it didn't ruin your fun I hope?'

Will shook his head. 'You weren't too lonely without me, right?'

'Of course not pumpkin, don't you worry about me! I had fun of my own too.'

Later when they were having dinner (Will's favourite meal that his mother had prepared as a special welcome back surprise) he told her all about what camp was like:

'And then there's the grumpy camp director Mr. D, who's actually the god Dionysus! Can you believe that? Y'know, the wine one,' he explained.

His mother nodded. 'And how about the other campers, were they nice? Did you make some new friends?' she asked.

'Mhm! Most of my friends are just the other Apollo kids, but there were also some other kids there like Clarisse. She's a daughter of Ares, and she's pretty scary at first but she's actually quite nice once you get to know her. And as long as you don't challenge her in any way of course, but most Ares kids are like that I've heard.'

'So, how are the other Apollo kids?'

'They're great! Michael, the head of the cabin, takes care of everyone well, and he showed me around the cabin too when I got claimed.'

His mother hummed sweetly, saying how glad she was that he had a safe place to go to during the summer where he had lots of fun and some friends to hang out with.

'Hey, mum, did you know that some kids stay there all year round?'

'Oh, do they?'

'Yeah, I don't know how they do it, I would miss you too much. I heard about this girl, Annabeth is her name I believe. She's a daughter of Athena and apparently she's been at camp ever since she was seven years old.'

'Wow, that's long,' his mother noted.

'Yeah... I heard that she ran away from home,' Will said softly.

Silence fell between them, and Will thought about what would happen if he had to run away from home, but he couldn't even imagine it. He loved his mother too much to leave her forever.

'Will, if you want to stay at camp for the whole year, I'm okay with that, you know? I know they take very good care of the campers, so at least I will know you'll be in good hands. Just, please don't ever run away without telling me.'

When Will looked at her, he could see the sadness reflected in her eyes, and he knew it had to do with his father. Apollo had left her without even a sign, and he knew that had hurt his mother a lot. As her only child, he knew that he couldn't leave her like his dad did, because it would cause her double that pain, so he shook his head.

'I would never run away.'

When he'd said those words, he'd truly believed them. He'd truly believed that he couldn't ever fully bring himself to run away, even if he tried. But little did he know that he'd thought wrong.

The next year he went to camp during the summer again, and there he'd had the courage to come out to someone for the first time. It was his brother Michael who he'd told.

He remembered how they'd sat on the roof of the Apollo cabin one night that Will couldn't sleep. Michael was awake too, and he'd told the younger boy to go get a whiff of fresh air, because that might help him relax.

'I've noticed you haven't been sleeping well at all the past week,' he told Will, and Will simply nodded. 'Is there anything troubling you that might be the reason for your restlessness? Are you having any nightmares? Because if that's the case, don't worry, it's quite common for demigods.'

Will then shook his head. 'No it's not nightmares, but there is something troubling me I think.'

Michael nodded. 'You can tell me if you want to, but if you don't that's okay. Just know that you can trust me with anything, okay, Will?'

Will nodded again, and he felt tears start to form in his eyes.

'Hey, hey, it's okay,' Michael told him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. 'It's okay.'

'Michael, I-' he started, but he bit his lip. He then decided that it was probably best to tell Michael, just so he's get it off his chest. 'I think I might be bisexual.'

'That's okay, Will. I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me,' Michael said, rubbing his hand comfortingly over Will's arm. 'Have you... told anyone else yet?'

'No,' Will whispered.

Michael hummed. 'Well, don't feel pressured to tell anyone, you can do that at your own pace, when you feel comfortable to do so. But did it at least help to tell me?'

Will thought about it for a moment. He did feel somewhat relieved, and it felt like a massive weight had been lifted off of his chest, so he nodded and smiled a little, wiping the tears from his eyes.

'Thank you.'

'Anytime, Will. Now, maybe you should try going back to sleep, we have a busy day tomorrow. Capture the flag, remember?' Michael said with a little wink, and Will couldn't help but feel warm inside. Even though he might have only known Michael for a little, he truly did feel like the older brother Will had never had, and it was nice to know that he didn't even care in the slightest.

That night Will slept well again for the first time in a while.

And it was that moment with Michael that he remembered one night when he was back home, that gave him the courage to come out to his mother too. Will wasn't scared anymore because of Michael- and Austin and Kayla who he'd told too. He knew that his mother was a pretty chill and easygoing person, so that helped him find his courage too.

But to his surprise and utter despair, his mother yelled at him. She had never before been so mad at him, and it scared him. It scared him so bad that he cried himself to sleep that night.

When he woke up in the middle of the night from the nightmares of his mother yelling at him, he decided that he didn't want to stay in a place where he wasn't accepted. His heart longed to be back at camp where everyone had accepted him with open arms, no questions asked. And when he thought about the fact that he'd still have to wait three more months before he'd usually go to camp, he ached to be there right in that moment.

He wanted to go back, he needed to go back; because he knew by the way his mother had yelled at him that she wouldn't simply change her beliefs for him. She would forever despise him, even if she tried to understand it out of her love for him.

Without even thinking about what he was doing, Will packed his bag with everything he'd need, and his personal belongings that he couldn't bear to leave behind. He then snuck out of the window. He knew he shouldn't look back, but he couldn't help it; he needed to see the place he'd grown up in one last time.

Tears slowly rolled down his face as he thought of all the happy memories he had of this place and of his mother. He then suddenly remembered what she'd told him the first time he'd come back from camp:

'Please don't ever run away without telling me.'

The words rung through his mind and he sighed. He knew he wouldn't be able to make himself leave without telling her, so he snuck back inside and crept down to the kitchen. He grabbed the pen and notepad that were lying on the kitchen table and quickly wrote his final message to his mother. He then stuck it on the fridge, and made his way out again.

This time he forced himself not to look back, and instead walked straight ahead, the tears now streaming down his face, but he knew this was for the best. Everything would get better once he'd make it back to camp. And that was all he needed to know to keep himself going.

Mother,

You once asked me to never run away without telling you, so that's why I'm writing this note.

I am who I am, and there is nothing that will ever be able to change that.

And I cannot live here anymore without your acceptance, so until you learn to accept me, I will be staying at camp as a year rounder.

If you do ever decide that you can accept me for who I am, and not just 'deal with the fact that your son bi', you can Iris Message me with the drachma I left in the bottom left drawer.

Until then, this is goodbye.

-W

End Notes

This turned out quite different from what I had in mind at first, but I think I prefer it this way. Also my playlist decided to start playing sad music while I was writing this so now I'm almost sobbing over my own work...

If you are struggling with finding acceptance yourself, just know that you are valid and I love you, so so much. There are so many people out there who will love and accept you for who you are, even if it doesn't seem like it right now. You'll find your way eventually, and everything will work out in the end.

I hope that even though this was quite a sad chapter, you still enjoyed it, and I hope you have an absolutely fantastic day. I love you all, and I'll see you in the next one. Byeee :)