About time eh? ^_^
Hi y'all! Hope everyone is keeping safe!
I finally had some time to write so I circled back to this oldie and decided it was time to add a new installment! I hope you guys like it!
Disclaimer: Is this on TV in cartoon form? No right? Then I do not own TS.
10:30 pm - Tim Scam's Mansion, Just Outside
The motorcycle finally skidded to a halt as the exhausted male riding it parked and dismounted. Although he'd dropped Skylar off around an hour ago he'd proceeded to drive around aimlessly despite having lied to whom was now officially his girlfriend that he had to get home urgently because something had come up with work.
Which was the exact same excuse he'd used to take off immediately when she'd invited him in with a sultry grin on her lips and half-lidded seductive eyes which hinted that he could get so much more than a kiss from her if he just followed her.
He didn't need to think twice about what it meant that he'd walked away from her and from that so easily and rapidly. His jaw twitching in agitation, Tim moved on auto-pilot walking through his gate then up the marble stairs in slow robotic steps. When he arrived at the door he reached into the pocket of his leather jacket and retrieved his keys before sliding the correct one into the lock. With a click the door swung open and he stepped inside in one large stride before slamming it and the world outside shut behind him.
Scam tossed the keys onto the console table not even reacting when he missed and they hit the glass edge before scampering onto the carpet with a sad thump. Then he closed his eyes tightly as he pressed his back hard against the closed door and under his closed lids, forced himself to replay the kiss that he'd shared tonight with Skylar Bradford...
Using her grip on his hand, he made her gasp as he pulled her down towards him. And then he closed his eyes, and in one swift motion crashed his mouth against her own.
He kissed Skylar with all the heat and ferocity that he could muster absolutely devouring her glossed lips while she moaned in bliss. He was determined to make himself enjoy this just as she was no matter what.
Regardless of how much he had to war with himself with every passing second to keep kissing her instead of break it like every fibre in his body fought to. Despite how hard he had to become deaf to ignore the sounds of his own screams which were thundering inside his head to push her away.
"This shouldn't be happening!"
"You don't love her!"
"You'll never love her!"
"She's not Sam!"
"She'll never be Sam!"
But stubbornly he kept going only kissing Skylar harder and harder hoping to change how he felt about her, adamantly deciding that he'd be able to turn her from friend into something more if he just tried hard enough.
A wounded hiss escaped him and he crunched up his hand into a fist and punched the wood of the door hard as in the dark, the color of deep red streaked across the horizon of his jaw not from passion or arousal at the memory of a kiss as one might expect but instead shame. Deep, deep embarrassment and disgust with no one but himself.
To say that he was disappointed would be a massive understatement. As much as he'd tried to make it so, that kiss hadn't budged his perspective on Skylar by even one inch. Even if she'd claimed the title of being his girlfriend deep down within himself he knew she was still just a friend to him at best and nothing more.
After all if she was something more than that would his heart not have thundered inside his chest as he kissed her instead of stay at its usual, measured pace? Would he have not battled with his own need for oxygen to stay connected to the sweetness of her lips as long as humanly possible? Feel that butterfly, that tell-tale spark of desire deep inside his soul after the experience? Come home with a stupid grin plastered all over his face, that million dollar lottery-winner looking one after at long last winning his lady?
Yet here he was wholly unchanged in any way. There as no epiphany, no great euphoria that he felt. Heck if he were 100 percent honest about the experience then he'd have to say that he felt nothing. Less than nothing. He actually felt worse than before because of one other troublesome issue regarding this kiss that he was also well aware of.
Another depressing truth that Skylar wasn't even aware of. A dark secret that only he knew.
A long sigh exhaled itself from his lungs as he admitted it to himself and stopped pretending for just this moment. He'd only been able to kiss Skylar because inside his head he'd imagined that it hadn't been her he'd been kissing but another female. A porcelain skinned, tall and slender, emerald doe-eyed beauty. Imagined it as her and his first kiss and not his and Skylar's; a woman that he liked because of their similarities but felt no passion for compared to the burning one he still had for Samantha Simpson.
So while the kiss had been intended to help him move on from her, all it had done was make him take a big step backward the place he'd been so desperate to escape from. Right back to the woman he still pathetically loved despite her crushing his heart with her callous no.
The truth stuck the sharpest dagger inside him but he bottled it up and put it away, compartmentalized it just like he was always so good at doing and focused on what he had instead of what he did not. Skylar and him were together now, not Sam and him. Their kiss was the seal on their budding relationship. It was a done deal.
Opening his eyes when he felt his phone buzz with a text inside his coat, he unlocked it and stared down at the illuminated screen . It was Skylar wishing him a good night with a kiss and asking if she could spend some time with him again tomorrow.
He hesitated for just a few seconds before making the only choice he felt he had anymore and answered it with a sure even replying to her grinning emoji with one of his own to hide how he was truly feeling inside as he slowly made his upstairs to prepare himself for bed.
But he left the lights off as he went because he didn't want to catch his reflection in something and have it prove to him just how miserable he was about moving on from Sam even though he'd made the decision to.
And when he finally laid down in bed that night tucked comfortably under his covers and waited for sleep to come, over and over he repeated to himself like a mantra that there was no point, none whatsoever to pine over a girl that had no feelings for him.
As many people did throughout the course of their lives, for whatever unknown reason they'd met then walked the same road for a short time but ultimately their paths went in two opposite directions. There simply was nothing more to them to explore and whatever small relationship they'd ever had had run its course. This was simply the end and he'd finally accepted it.
Even if he'd never ended up finding out exactly why he wasn't good enough for her, he'd stopped driving himself mad with needing to know her reason. She had one and that was good enough. He'd decided he didn't necessarily need to know what because he knew the most important thing that he had to do move on with his life.
Sam didn't love him and she never would. There was nothing then for him to wait around for her.
Nothing at all.
11: 01 pm - Sam's House, Sam's Bedroom
Muffled sobs were all that could be heard from the girl that lay face down on her bed with her face buried into the lap of her pillow, the same place she'd been ever since she'd gotten home and erupted into a violent temper tantrum.
There was a mess on the floor where books that she'd thrown had knocked knickknacks, photo frames, and plushies off their usual places. A broken vase lay among the carnage with water leaking out of its cracked ceramic and some distance away a cup of cold tea left an ugly, brown stain on the once pristine cream carpeting. A chair she'd kicked into a corner had bowled a table to its side causing papers to go flying. Her wardrobe was now naked of its clothing as the dresses, shirts, skirts, and pants she owned hadn't been spared from being used a projectiles in her blind wrath.
But now her anger was shed and all that was left behind was sorrow. All encompassing, piercing, throbbing sadness and regret.
Gasping and gagging for air she pushed her head deeper into the moist pillowcase not even caring that the mascara bleeds would be a pain to get out later. Right now all she wanted to do was cry and cry until she didn't have any tears left anymore.
"This was what you wanted isn't it?!" The sound of her own bitter voice chided away, bouncing off inside the walls of her mind. "For Tim to move on? To find someone else to love? Well it looks like you got what you wanted Sam!"
"No! No! No, I didn't want this!" She shrieked at herself trying to shut that voice up. While she'd acted like that was what she wanted she knew it wasn't true. What she'd really wanted was for it to be like before when they were enemies. When she was a spy who despite trying so hard not to, retained disgraceful remnants of a crush so strong on the villain she'd once fallen hard for.
The very same powerful attraction that made her not so subconsciously fall again and again for look-alikes of him and made her heart sink when even those relationships didn't last leaving her longing again to be with another shadow of the man who forever haunted her.
The days when she'd find herself content every time they faced him on yet another solo plan of his because it showed her that he was still alone with no woman by his side. Back when she was able to be petty enough to be pleased with the knowledge that yes she couldn't have him but nor could someone else.
It had all been so much easier when he'd been locked up in an isolated WOOHP cell, hidden and unseen from the world. But now he wasn't and he'd been snatched up almost immediately by another woman who wasn't so damn conflicted and full of angst about her feelings to make him hers.
It just ... it wasn't fair. Her fingers punished her bed sheets by twisting into them as she sobbed and languished openly now no longer bothering to play dumb as she had been for weeks, for months, for the entire half year they'd been partners.
Skylar's kiss with him flashed by her memory again being burned there and the image of his lips caressing another's forced a scream of anguish from deep within her heart. She hated the blonde more than she'd ever hated anyone for taking what could have been hers.
All that time Tim had spent trying to win her heart killed her now. She wanted to go back and slap herself in the face for being so cold to him, for acting like she didn't feel anything for him when she knew all along that she did.
Ever since he'd stopped pursuing her she'd had ample opportunities to go out and find a boyfriend but she'd failed to. She'd gone on countless dates both planned and blind and every time no matter how funny, how cute, how charming her date was, he was never just right for her. Sure she'd lied to Clover who'd set up the majority of them that she'd found the guy to be too talky, too boring, too tall and whatever random flaw popped into her mind when she was asked for a reason but in truth they were all rejected because in the back of her mind she was always measuring them up against the guy that her heart had accepted was her Mr. Right. The one that had captivated her entire being.
And that was why they always fell short. It wasn't their fault, it was hers. All hers. Her heart just wasn't hers to give anymore because she'd already given it away. Little by little, without her even noticing it, the enemy she'd been begrudgingly putting up with had wormed his way inside her heart in such a way that it now fully belonged to him. Why then had she been trying so hard to fool herself? Still going on the hunt for Prince Charming when she'd already found him and knew that he loved her too?
Her hand reached out and opened the small drawer of her bedside table tugging out the birthday card stashed there which she'd secretly treasured as her most prized possession. It had been placed there for easy access because she looked at it every single night before she fell asleep ever since the day she'd received it.
The one which held his confession of love to her. Affectionately she traced her fingertips over the perfect black-inked cursive and read the words to herself again even though by now she had every single letter memorized:
"A thousand presents to try and communicate to you the three, simple words that I've been wanting to say since the moment I first laid eyes on you."
"Happy Birthday, my beautiful Sammie…"
"I love you."
- Tim
Her lower lip quivered as a new shower of tears rained down her depressed face. Why hadn't it been proof enough for her of her feelings that she'd kept this instead of toss it in the trash as she would have without hesitation if it was truly unwanted? This and every other thing she had that was his.
The gold necklace he'd presented to her in Florence after their first mission, the teddy bear he'd gotten when she'd been sad about her friends being kidnapped, the diamond tennis bracelet he'd gifted her as a thank you for being his masquerade date, the ring he'd placed on her finger during that mission they'd posed as a married couple, that coat of his he'd once placed on her shoulders on a cold day and she'd felt too awkward to give it back without his asking for it so she'd stored it in the back of her closet. And so much more.
You didn't keep tokens like that from someone you claim you hated, at least she was never the type to. She only held onto something if it had some meaning to her. So while keeping all of his things had been a big clue, she'd ignored it because she'd wanted to stay ignorant to her own raging emotions instead of confront them.
But Tim? He didn't do that. He didn't hide anything. He was an open book. It was she who was the coward, the hypocrite and look where that had gotten her? Her friends hated her right now, Jerry had been passive aggressive with her for ages, and worst of all Tim hated the sight of her face.
Just as Alex had implored her to last night she had to stop being a wuss already and make her peace with reality because running from it with her hands over her eyes and her fingers in her ears was doing her nor anyone else any good. She'd tried and it had made her miserable because this just wasn't her. That was why this had been so hard on her, she reached her epiphany just then. This wasn't HER!
She didn't lie. She always told the truth and yet she'd been lying to herself in vain when the truth was that she was in love with Tim. Tim Scam. There she said it. She loved Tim. She loved him! And on some level … she always had. Maybe that was why she was reluctant to work with him in the first place because deep down she'd suspected she wouldn't be able to keep it professional.
But this time it wasn't something that she could move on from as she had back then, something she could push to the back of her mind and try to replace. This was deep and it was very real.
A look of wonder formed on her face as she faced the depth of her feelings for Tim Scam. For the first time in her life she wasn't just crushing on a guy solely for his looks as she usually did admittedly being somewhat shallow as many girls her age were. She'd finally seen something more in one. Something pure. Seen past the exterior to a heart of gold filled with loyalty and true love for no one but herself.
She'd seen in him the man that she'd always wanted for herself. The one she'd secretly wished for him to be all those years ago when she'd felt her heart flutter at seeing his breathtakingly handsome face for the first time while he'd sat in Jerry's office chair introducing himself as Mac Smit. She couldn't close her eyes now and pretend she hadn't finally found what she'd been searching for all her life. She just ... couldn't.
In retrospect she understood now why she'd blown up on him that day. It hadn't been because a man she didn't want had told her that he wanted her and she was unhappy about it but instead it her unfair situation.
She sighed wistfully putting the card down on her bed and instead hugging her wet pillow for comfort with a forlorn sniffle. Tim wasn't just some guy that she could have a candid heart-to-heart with over coffee, tell him that he'd won, that he'd stolen her heart, that she was totally and madly in love with him and then go live happily ever after with him.
Although he was her Prince, a fairytale ending with him was just not possible. Even if he was no longer on the other side, even though he returned her burning affection for him this time it still wasn't enough. They still had a problem. An insurmountable one.
Sam closed her eyes feeling pained and felt herself choke up again having reached what was the real issue standing between them like an unbreakable, iron wall. The only thing that was stopping her feet with lead weights from tracking him down right now, begging him for an apology then launching herself into his embrace and kissing him breathless when he forgave her.
This wonderful, sweet, loveable Tim Scam that she wanted with every fibre of her being, the one she'd fallen head over heels for ... wasn't real. He was momentary. Just like a ticking time bomb, at any given moment she could lose him. His feelings for her were hanging by a thread and a very fragile one at that. In comparison what she wanted with him was forever and ironically he was the one man that she could never have forever with.
One day, some day he was bound to remember everything. She wasn't optimistic enough to believe the doctor's words from that fateful night that there was a chance he may never remember what he'd forgotten like Jerry was able to.
Most people with that condition in every movie, every book, every instance she knew of did regain their lost memories. Whether it took days, or months, or years, another blow to the head or a triggering repetition of the trauma that led to the amnesia in the first place, they always remembered. So it was only a matter of time before Tim would too.
Also unlike those films and novels where somehow nine out of ten times, the characters involved still ended up with happy endings regardless of the reveal, this was real life. And the chances of a joyous outcome against all odds in reality wasn't nearly as likely.
She couldn't live her life plucking petals off flowers and torturing herself by asking over and over if the man she loved actually loved her or loved her not. And that was just what she was sighing up for if she choose to go for it with Tim. Anxiety, uncertainty, panic, and an everyday never-ending fear of losing him.
"It's only because of his lost memory that he likes me let alone loves me," Sam lamented because as much as she wanted to fool herself into thinking otherwise, it could not be denied. Only when he'd had that accident and gotten amnesia had he begun to see her differently and fall for her. Before that Tim had hated her. He'd loathed her for putting him in jail so many times, foiling his plans, and just being a general thorn in his side.
If he was to ever recall that would he still love her? Did she honestly for one second believe that he would be able to?
"...He wouldn't," she decided basing her assumption on that time she'd come clean about her crush on him. He'd been dead set on destroying WOOP then and all he'd done was look stunned at her admission and then carry on with his plan like nothing had even happened.
Even though she'd never told anyone about it and had kept her poker face on, inside it had hurt like hell to watch him do that. To just dust her off and not even care enough to stop for even just one second and reconsider.
How then would she able to have a relationship with him? Get so much more invested in him? Get intimate with him and then have him dump her aside like garbage? Would she be able to bear it when he just walked away from her again? After all that? Told her that he hated her and wanted her dead because she was in his way just like the rest of the agents that protected the agency he right now mistakenly believed himself to love but actually hated for whatever still hidden reason? Withstand such a harsh betrayal from her true love?
She couldn't even feign that she'd be able to. No, she knew that if that were to happen it would rip out her very soul.
She'd never fallen in love this way before and it scared her what she might do if she ever lost him. And if that came to pass because he was the one who willingly took himself away from her? She'd never be able to piece herself back together. Her heart could never survive that devastating of a blow.
"Did you really think I'd ever want YOU Sam? Hmm?" His unfeeling sounding voice filled her ears like the echoes of a scream in a particularly chilling nightmare along with a heartless little chuckle that held no emotion but chaste contempt. "Love my enemy? Heh. Are you honestly that stupid?"
Feeling her heart hit rock bottom she shook her head no. She wasn't strong enough for that. She just wasn't.
But then she stopped herself to play devil's advocate, helpless to do so by her critical lovesickness for the man in question. What if maybe, just maybe he wouldn't walk away from her?
Hope sparked in the place which had just been filled with despair as she asked herself just what if that could be.
He'd said he loved her and love came from deep within your heart not your mind. What if when given the option to choose he chose to stay just as he was right now? What if after having this new perspective of having worked at WOOHP again he decided that the life of a criminal just wasn't for him? Realized that this was where he rightfully belonged? Made amends with Jerry and actually cut ties with Terrence? Let go of the past forever and told her he wanted to live in a present with her by his side?
Her heart hammered and a small smile bloomed on her lips at that daydream and the possibility of it being her reality some day. Of winning Tim's heart fair and square and not having gotten him by some ploy.
She couldn't believe after getting to know him as well as she had that Tim was ever as cruel as he'd seemed to her then. No it had to be a front! Yes it had to be false! She nodded her head determined; some part of him still had to remember himself! His true self! The man that he was at the present moment. He just had to!
But then her smile crumpled away into dust to be replaced by a mournful frown. That was just wishful thinking. Yes Tim said he loved her right now but with all the cards on the table and nothing left unknown she highly doubted he'd tell her the same. He could never love her enough to overlook everything. She remembered how badly he'd wanted revenge and to chose her over that? Well he'd have to chose her over his life's mission, his life itself.
"Don't thank me for saving your life Samantha because by doing that ... I was only saving mine."
His words sincerely whispered to her just then from her memory's storage, a soul-shattering statement he'd said to her on their very first mission after he'd risked his life to save her own and she exhaled loudly realizing that this mental tug of war was getting her nowhere. In truth there was only one person who could definitively tell her what would really happen once Tim found out that truth. And unfortunately for her, that was Tim himself.
But she couldn't just ask him. His amnesia had to be kept secret no matter what. Jerry had warned them on day one that they had to do everything to keep his memory from ever returning, even mentioning that if they forced him to remember somehow that could cause irreparable damage to his brain.
Sam gasped at the thought of him coming to harm, her heart clenching hard inside her as if someone had reached a hand inside her chest and crushed it. She'd never forgive herself if something happened to him because of her, never as long as she lived.
For that reason and so many more, triggering his past was a line she could never cross. And that was why ...
They could never be.
No matter how perfect they were for each other, how happy she knew he'd make her, and how deeply she'd come to love him this was absolutely as far as things could go. It was for their own good that they never became anything more.
"What's the point of yearning for something I can never keep?" Sam tried to give herself wise counsel despite her state of melancholy. In the aftermath all she'd be left with would be nothing but grief.
A lone tear trickled down her pale white cheek. Why did love have to be so hard and hurt this terribly and unbearably? In this planet full of millions and through a totally bizarre turn of events on a standard WOOHP mission, she'd found her soul mate. She'd found him where she'd least expected him to be but destiny had long decreed that he could never become hers.
The love of a spy and villain could never last. They were star-crossed and thus doomed to fail from the start. Loving him was in her luck, but gaining his love wasn't. And no amount of tears and no amount of wishing otherwise could erase the lines etched by the wicked hand of fate.
Having come to that gut wrenching conclusion she cried for a few more moments to try and shed her heartbrokenness out of her system before wiping away her tears and forcing herself to think more rationally.
Regardless she knew she couldn't live like this. Even if she could never reveal her feelings for Tim to him, she still needed him to be a part of her life. Needed him near her as badly as her lungs needed oxygen. She could not go on with him acting like she didn't exist and treating her with such disdain. She ...
She wanted to earn back what she'd lost. Somehow she just had to gain back his friendship. She didn't need to be told that she being totally selfish for wanting this, but after knowing what he truly meant to her she could not live without him giving her at least that small consolation.
"Even if I can never have him the way I want, I can't live with him distancing himself from me," Sam thought sighing woefully. "I still want him in my life... at least as a friend even if I want him to be so much more."
Sam didn't answer the questions that popped into her mind, the ones demanding to know if she somehow convinced him to let her back into his life would she be able to actually just be his friend? Not feel biting jealousy when he continued dating Skylar afterwards as he probably would or moved onto other women?
Forget other women, would she be able to escape temptation? Control her desires with the knowledge that what they felt for one another was one hundred percent mutual? Did she have such strong willpower, the power to fight with herself and bear all that? Any of that? Did anyone?!
Love wasn't just some switch that could just be turned off. How was she going to be able to work alongside him and not feel anything?
The thought of Tim so much as looking her in the eyes again with his piercing sea foam ones made her instantly blush crimson. Her insides dissolved into jelly and her body shivered with want but little by little she regained restraint on herself.
"I-I can't think of him this way!" Sam scolded herself to stop that right here and right now for this would never work otherwise. She could never go there, ever fathom tasting his lips or touching that body of his, the magnetism of which drove her crazy. Those wantings and cravings had to remain only in her dreams and fantasies. Being any greedier would just sabotage her.
She strictly forbade it. Platonic. That was it. As much as it hurt her, all they could forever be was platonic. In time, with lots of time ... she'd learn to get over him. She'd make him just a friend again, at most her closest friend and nothing more.
Besides she stubbornly insisted, she'd deal with all that when the time came as well Clover, Alex, Darren, and Jerry's reactions when they all found out. Right now all that mattered, all she had to focus on was Tim and getting him to talk to her.
"But ... what will I say to him? And more importantly ... how?"
Ever since their falling out he'd avoided her like the bubonic plague. She knew if she tried to phone him then he'd just hang up and if she kept harassing him, he might even go so far as blocking her number. Also this conversation had to happen in person. He had to be looking at her face as she said what she needed to. That was the only way he'd be able to tell that she was being sincere.
Her eyes narrowed in thought, she knew where he lived right? What if she just went and knocked on his door? No this was Tim Scam she was talking about here; he had to have topnotch security. If she showed up at his address her not having announced it would be no good, he'd still know it was her asking to be let in.
With how furious he was right now even if he somehow opened the door she was afraid he'd just slam it in her face right after and yell at her to get lost before he called Jerry up and reported her for trespassing on his property when she'd been expressly warned to keep her distance from him.
With desperation thrumming through her every pore she made herself brainstorm till her head ached. Even if there was absolutely no way he'd agree to meet with her willingly there still had to be some other way to get them both in the same room, get them face to face where he could see just how miserable she was without him. And maybe, just maybe start to forgive her. There just had to be.
"How though?" She racked her tired brain endlessly for a solution. "How? How? HOW?!"
Then her eyes grew wide as suddenly she got her answer. Tim had shut her out but there were still someone in his inner circle of trust that she could use to her advantage. And that was their boss and his father figure Jerry Lewis.
"Of course!" Sam exclaimed and the puzzle pieces of a plan quickly pieced itself together. It was one that went against every warning Jerry had given her to stay away from her ex-partner, Sam knew he'd suspend her from WOOHP or at the very least give her a very strong verbal lashing when he found out what she was about to go do (especially when he learned that he himself was such an integral part of her daring scheme of winning Tim back).
She could hear him already in his cockney accent, angrily lecturing her that she was unfit to be an agent if she couldn't follow simple directions as he demanded she turn in her badge and X-Powder at once so he could pass them onto a much more worthy and deserving candidate.
But she'd happily take that termination and his reprimand. At this point she felt like she could take anything over being ignored by Tim for even a moment longer.
She needed to get him back at any cost. She had to do this ... now.
2 Days Later
12:27 pm - WOOHP Headquarters, Outside Jerry's Office
Copious hours of careful planning had led to this moment.
As she stood there concealed behind a door just down the corridor from Jerry's office, Sam had to remind herself to breathe because it was something she was forgetting to do due to how anxious and nervous she was right now. She wiped the sweat on her palm off on the denim of her low-rise jeans as she went over her three-step game plan one more time before putting it into motion.
"First, gain entry to Jerry's office. Second, put G.L.A.D.I.S. on Sleep mode. Third ... summon Tim."
Just like Clover and Alex, she'd always hated being forced to run WOOHP last year while Jerry had gone off gallivanting to work in a spy flick as Agent "0067". That stint had later turned out to be a bogus plot by the notorious Marco Lumiere but the short while it had lasted had disrupted her life. It had been sheer chaos at WOOHP and she'd breathed a big sigh of relief when Jerry had finally come to his senses and resumed leadership allowing her to return to just being a spy instead of fill such big shoes.
But today she looked back on that experience with different eyes for it had granted her knowledge that she was grateful for. Knowledge that was essential at this moment. She only prayed that things went her way because she was only going to get one shot at this and she had to make it count.
When the glass doors to Jerry's office opened and out walked her boss to run one of the many errands he had to while managing such a complex bureau, she seized her chance and waited until he was just far enough till she made a beeline inside.
This was it. There was no turning back now.
She moved with haste swiftly dealing with G.L.A.D.I.S. before she could ask her any questions. Next she patted down both sides of Jerry's blue desk looking for the hidden panel which had the button he used to WOOHP agents.
"Come on! Come on!" She muttered under her breath feeling like every millisecond that ticked by had been another hour and dreading Jerry walking in and catching her. Finally her hand made contact with a part of the desk that felt off and she pulled it out to reveal a concealed console. Just inside it was what she was looking for.
Hoping Jerry hadn't changed the password so she could save valuable seconds by not having to hack into it, she entered the one she remembered and it seemed the universe had finally decided to be kind to her as a green "PASSWORD ACCEPTED/ACCESS GRANTED" message flashed before her eyes. It seemed Jerry really was that busy to forget something as important as routinely changing passwords; not that she was going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Blowing a relieved gust of air into her face Sam waited as the panel emerged from its casing before her fingertips and awaited her next move. All she had to do now was enter the name of the agent she wanted to WOOHP and wherever they were, the agency's intricate tracking system would locate them and bring them to her. All with the press of one, single button.
She licked her suddenly dry lips and gulped preparing herself to face Tim after so long. He wasn't going to be pleased, that much she was certain of. No agent, no matter how dedicated ever liked being yanked out of their lives to take an uncomfortable trip down a metal tunnel with only the world's most uncomfortable couch to break their fall. She almost didn't want to do this to him but she knew there was no other way.
Knowing it was now or never the topmost digit of her index finger touched the keyboard only to falter once more as her lips fell into an unsure and grim little frown.
Was the false explanation she'd come up with for her terrible behaviour towards him even good enough? Was it one that he'd be sympathetic toward and be able to understand? What if after she bared her soul to him, he just told her that it wasn't good enough and continued to hate her? Would all her effort, her going as far as committing the crime of breaking into her boss' office and using classified technology just to speak with him again all go to waste? Would it all be in vain?
"Oh god what if this just makes things a thousand times worse?!" Sam asked herself going ghostly ashen as terror ravaged her with every thought that passed through her hyperactive brain. "What ... what if he gets even more ticked off with me after doing this? What if he sees it as a violation of his privacy? What if he really doesn't want to see me ever again?!"
After all he did tell Jerry in no uncertain terms that he could no longer work with her and he was the one who'd changed his own schedule just to avoid running into her. What if he truly had turned the page and just wanted to forget about her forever? What if she'd waited too long to do this and attempting to do this now would push him over the edge?
Considering all of those things for a moment she started to chicken out but then stopped at the reminder of how bleak life without him had been. Did she want that to be permanent? No. No she did not. She couldn't rethink herself now; it was too late! They had to have this talk no matter what came afterwards.
But she forced herself to make a promise before she went any further. If after listening to all she had to say, he still wanted to have nothing to do with her then as hard as it'd be she'd accept it. She wouldn't pressure him to reconsider or try and bully him to change his mind. Only Tim had the right to decide if they could be friends again or remain strangers.
Yet as she typed in the seven letters of his name, she hoped with every hectic beat of her heart that the latter wouldn't be his final decision.
Hitting the enter key she tried her best to ready herself for his arrival. She restlessly paced around the confines of the office wondering where she should place herself. Should see sit on the couch or just stand there and wait? Should she let him see her right away or buy some time by hiding herself away? What? What should she do?!
It was only at the precise split second when she heard the sound of the ceiling shifting above her and disgruntled grunts coming from a familiar male voice box that she made her choice.
Practically catapulting into Jerry's office chair she slunk down to cloak herself inside its leather barrier and spun it around so that her back would be to the couch where he'd land.
It was best not to startle him she thought knowing full well that the last thing he'd be expecting when he showed up to WOOHP Headquarters via the WOOHP tunnel was to bump into her instead of being assigned a new mission. So she'd let him settle down, catch his breath, and then she'd reveal herself and hopefully be able to get through to him.
Landing on his back Tim coughed a little at the impact. Being WOOHPed after spending the last two hours working on his cardio at the gym was not the best experience especially because he'd been summoned just as he was about to head into the shower. He didn't smell the best right now but hey, if Jerry wanted to call on him at a bad time then he deserved to suffer at least a little bit.
Having caught his breath, he swallowed to restore some saliva to his dry throat before using his elbows to push himself up into a more comfortable sitting position. Jerry honestly had no chill, his last mission had been just yesterday and he remembered him telling him and his partners to go home and recoup after taking down a particularly exhausting evildoer. It seemed he hadn't kept his word on giving them all a day off , not that he'd ever expected him to. After all this was Jerry he was talking about.
Yet at the same time a small part of him was almost relieved to be given a mission. Because in about a half hour he was to meet Skylar for a lunch date which now, as a consequence of having this mission, he'd surely miss.
A small grin almost formed on his face but then he rolled his eyes realizing how happy he was about that when he shouldn't be. What had he told himself just last night? Skylar was his girlfriend now and he was no longer interested in Samantha Simpson.
But while one half of his brain tried to give himself that guidance, the other half complicated matters by ignoring it. He sighed at his constant mental conflict before distracting himself by focusing on a more pressing matter than his convoluted love life.
"So which crazy lunatic is wreaking havoc out there today Jer?" Scam called out sounding enthusiastic despite his personal ongoing issues because when all was said and done, he really did love his job. Being an agent working for WOOHP was a privilege and honestly one of the greatest joys of his existence, something he could still admit to despite everything that had happened between WOOHP and himself. Even if after considering his history that did seem just a little bit ... impossible.
"Where are we headed this time?"
Yet the second that question left his lips he noticed something that he hadn't before. He was the only person seated on the couch. He was surprised to find that he'd been WOOHPed all by himself. Where were his partners Taylor and Darren? Had Jerry somehow forgotten to WOOHP them too? Or had hell frozen over and that annoying tunnel system finally broke down?
"Jer?" He pronounced his name questioningly only to receive no reply. A brown eyebrow shot up in confusion as he wondered over what was up with Jerry's silent routine today? Had something really bad gone down that he was struggling with putting into words? Some serious international crisis compared to the more idiotic villains they were accustomed to dealing with?
But the way Jerry was sitting there with just the quiet sounds of his breathing and not even turning around to look at him told him this was something else. Something likely not WOOHP-related and something personal that had him acting so out of character. He hadn't even acknowledged him yet. It was like he hadn't realized he was even ... here.
Tim's eyes widened in concern with that train of thought. Had something maybe happened to his mother? Jerry himself was pushing seventy so his mother had to be tiptoeing towards the ripe old age of ninety years where health issues tended to creep up no matter how well you took care of yourself.
But if this was about his only remaining parent, he highly doubted Jerry wouldn't be in tears right now. Sure he carried himself as a poised person but he'd witnessed Jerry lose his dad in the past and he'd been inconsolable for a long time.
Eliminating that possibility based on his behaviour, Scam then focused on the only other person in Jerry's intimate life that he could be facing a problem with. And that was his new girlfriend Belinda Nightingale, someone he'd had to advise Jerry about in the past as she was his first legit romance in decades.
Did this have something to do with her? The first time (and last time) they'd dated was at the WOOHP masquerade which had been months ago despite Jerry promising to pay more attention to his love life. To go from a passionate beginning to being as though a relationship had never started had to be at the very least unsatisfactory.
If she'd put Jerry on notice about that then that would definitely be something that Jerry would be hanging his head over. Who else did he have left to talk to about such a delicate matter besides himself? And he was more than willing to give his two cents. He'd faced failure when it came to romance as of late but that didn't mean Jerry had to too. They could still figure this out. They could still fix this so that Jerry ended up with his soul mate instead of have to settle for someone else.
Becoming certain that that had to be it, Tim rose from the couch and started making his way over to where Jerry remained in a state of total quiet. But staying mute never helped anyone solve anything. If Jerry wanted things to get better then he had to get over his shame and talk about it. Get things off his chest so that he could breathe again. It was the only way.
His hand reached out to grasp his shoulder and offer him his support only to freeze in place, his eyes narrowing into confused slits when upon getting closer he didn't see the top of Jerry's balding head as he'd expected to nor spotted his aged hands resting on the armrests as they had a habit of doing.
And his confusion only flared higher when the chair spun around to reveal to him not Jerry but in his place a woman he'd never once expected to ever see in the flesh again. His eyebrows shot to the roof and his jaw dropped open in surprise at coming face to face with the girl responsible for all his recent suffering, pain, and heartbreak in the place he'd least expected to.
Smiling back at him sweetly as if they'd never fallen out and leaving him wondering if she'd somehow gotten amnesia, was none other than his ex-partner and ex-love interest Samantha Simpson.
"... Hey Tim." She half murmured his name sheepishly as he stood there motionless from shock. Not giving him a chance to recover, she twiddled her thumbs together and took a deep breath before exhaling it and addressing him once more . "Um ... Can we talk? I ... I really need to talk to you."
Despite her friendly demeanour her overt nervousness made it clear that she knew she had reason to be walking on eggshells around him and he grew annoyed at her nerve at trying to engage him in a conversation in spite of that.
"About what?" His tongue itched to question but he refrained as little by little the alarm on his face chipped away to reveal a deep-set frown. There was nothing for them to talk about anymore, everything had been said and done months ago in Florence when she'd shattered his heart and stepped all over the damaged pieces.
It'd been only with great effort and with the help of his friends that he'd succeeded in piecing himself back together into functioning order so whatever it was that she wanted to say to him, whatever twisted game she wanted to play with his emotions this time...
He didn't want any part of it.
The storm of humiliation and misery that he'd bottled up uncorked itself inside him and the longer he looked upon her face, it took everything inside him to not give into the temptation to lash out and actually physically hurt her for how badly she'd hurt him. But his parents had raised him better than to ever hit a woman no matter what she'd done so clenching his fists, he spit out the only thing that he felt obligated to say to her.
"WHERE. IS. JERRY?" He demanded to know only to be further astounded when she shrugged her shoulders and informed him that Jerry wasn't here. And when she shamefacedly glanced at her toes and added in that he wouldn't be showing up either, he figured out exactly what this was.
Jerry had never called him in today. It had been her. All her. Somehow she'd arranged this meeting between them and tricked him into attending it. And he was pissed off, so much so that he couldn't find it within himself to give two shits about uncovering her motive to do this or bother to question her about what had changed so drastically that it had compelled her to seek him out now.
He'd meant it when he'd said he was done with her. Done with all the questions, done with looking for answers. One hundred percent done.
With a scoff and a heated glare in her direction, he turned on his heel and stormed out paying no mind whatsoever to her desperately calling out his name behind him because entertaining her any longer was not something he was interested in.
"Tim? TIM!" Sam screeched as loudly as she could, trying to make him return to her. She did that for another minute before realizing she should have expected him to respond like this and instead jumped up out of Jerry's seat and made a mad dash after him.
Through the halls of WOOHP she ran as fast as her legs could take her. She didn't care about the ruckus she was causing as she ignored the murmurs of the agents who stopped in place and pointed at her wondering what on earth she was doing. Even when she could swear she heard Jerry's own voice yelling after her, she didn't stop only pushing herself to move faster and faster with all her focus on Tim's retreating figure and nothing else. Just on him and reaching him before it was too late.
She followed him out of the building, dodging the guards posted at the main exit when they tried to get in her way. The doors closed behind her muting the sounds of the angry men she'd just drop kicked as they recovered from their tumbles and once again located Tim who by now was halfway across the street and flagging down a cab.
Seeing one come to a halt, she knew she had to stop him before he got into it and drove away.
"TIM WAIT!" She wailed as she sprinted faster than she ever had in her life, feeling thankful for all those years of doing Cross country track meets.
And just as he reached to open the taxi door, she cut him off by swatting his hand away and blocking his access to the vehicle with her body.
"Will you PLEASE just listen to me?!" She begged him as he stood there with his jaw twitching so hard that it trembled.
His eyes looked past her and darted around taking in the scene she was making that he wasn't amused by. Everyone on the sidewalk was now staring at him and gossiping and the driver that had no clue what this was about was openly regarding him with an annoyed look that asked if he was going to get into the car already because he didn't have all day to wait for him to make up his mind.
With Sam acting like a literal barricade to his ride, he shook his head to dismiss the driver as he turned and began to walk in the direction of his home. It would be at least an hour's journey but he'd get their eventually and hopefully lose her along the way.
Sam however didn't seem such plans as she just tagged behind him like a lost puppy and continued endlessly trying to appeal with him to talk to her.
"Look I know that you're mad at me okay? But can you just give me a minute? Please Tim? Just one minute? I just want to talk to you!"
It had to have been ten minutes by now yet the redhead wouldn't let up and slowly he could feel his patience waning as the veins in his forehead throbbed and his nostrils flared with venom.
Couldn't she take a fucking hint?! He didn't want to talk to her and he didn't owe her a conversation just because, after many months, she suddenly felt like having one with him!
Apparently not, he begrudgingly realized as another five minutes passed and she kept up the same maddening charade regardless of him not uttering a single word in response and continually doing his best to get away from her.
A headache was starting to drill away at his temples and finally erupted when she, finally tired of playing this game of tag and having her beseeching words deflected by him, circled around him and literally stood in his path with her arms spread out wide like a human stop sign forcing him at long last to skid to a halt to not collide into her.
With peeved eyes he looked at her face only to find her eyebrows bunched together seriously and her lips set in a determined pout telling him that she wouldn't leave him alone no matter which way he tried to ditch her until she got what she wanted.
He swore under his breath and kicked the ground with his shoe to release some of the frustration he felt before running his palm down his face. And even though he knew better than to engage with her, he was honestly fatigued. All he wanted was for her to go away and leave him the hell alone. Was that too much to ask?!
"WHAT?!" He howled at the end of his rope and unable to control it anymore as his eyes glared embers of scorched loathing down at her. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!"
Sam's eyes flew wide and her entire body froze up like a block of ice with the sound of his voice alone. He sounded so aggravated with her, as though she were some annoying fly that he was trying to shoo away.
She gulped as all language failed her. She'd thought she'd had it all sorted out how this was going to go but now that it was time, it just wasn't coming out. The words, neither how she wanted to convey them and all she could do was stupidly stare at his face.
She'd missed him so much that all she could manage was to look at him endlessly, yet she knew she had to start talking soon before he just left her again.
"I... Tim I ..." She gulped awkwardly, spluttering like a goldfish out of water and trying with everything in her to attempt bumbling out something that would be enough to get him to stay with her even if just for a moment.
"I um ... I—"
His eye roll cut her off and he huffed having had enough before he took one big step to the left and started to walk away once more.
"I WANTED TO SAY THAT I'M SORRY!" Sam cried out towards his turned back, the fear of never seeing him again after this latest stunt she'd pulled finally giving her the courage to talk.
He didn't turn back around to look at her or even make a single sound to convey that he'd even heard her but when his feet slowly stopped moving, she knew that he had. And she seized her chance.
"The way that I behaved with you that day ..." She continued knowing they both knew just which infamous day she meant by now. "It ... it wasn't right. All you did was be a good friend to me and try to give me a good birthday, you didn't deserve to be treated that way and … I'm sorry."
Tim didn't say anything still, he just stood locked in place like a statue. Needing badly for him to react, to throw just a crumb of his attention her way, Sam tiptoed a little closer to him ever so quietly to not to scare him away.
"That's not how you're supposed to treat your friends," she whispered all the while mentally praying that if he didn't want to turn around then maybe he could just let her get close enough to him so that she could take a peek at his face to gauge his thoughts.
"I know that it wasn't okay and—"
"FRIEND?!" He suddenly sneered stopping her dead in her tracks like a deer caught in headlights because by this point she honestly hadn't expected to hear his voice.
From the corner of his eye he watched her tremble a bit but he didn't feel sorry for startling her. The only reason he'd broken his vow of silence anyway was because he wanted total honesty from her now that she'd insisted upon poking the wounds she'd inflicted on him that day. And that something she was still not giving him.
He wanted her to cut the crap. She was well aware of his feelings for her yet she was acting like she didn't know and was beating around the bush concerning the real issue here. Well he wasn't going to let her get away with that sham anymore.
"I'd have bought that we were friends if I didn't vividly recall that kiss we almost shared that night at the WOOHP masquerade party."
Instantly her face coloured red and her eyes popped wide as he put her on the spot with something he felt she thought or hoped he'd somehow forgotten. But he hadn't. Every second of that moment was etched into his mind forevermore.
"I pulled away from you…" he reminded her sternly. "YOU did not."
She'd outright told him that she liked him, remained holding onto him, kept looking at him longingly despite him trying to tell her of the extreme danger they were in. She'd made no move to stop them whatsoever.
"Explain that away as my just being a friend to you. Go ahead Sam," Scam challenged her boldly. "Do it. Tell me if you kiss all your male friends like you almost kissed me," Tim hissed demanding to know if she was really that slutty of a girl which they both knew she wasn't.
She lowered her head and stared at the pavement before she quietly mumbled out a reply.
"Okay… " Sam timidly owned up with her cheeks still burning from guilt. "I'll admit that I do have some feelings for you that aren't purely platonic."
"Well thank you for at least giving me that much!" Tim retorted sarcastically with no lack of snark, feeling vindicated with her finally admitting to him that he wasn't mental for noticing her not so subtle hints of having a romantic interest in him.
But while on one hand it felt good to hear that and be exonerated, on the other it also served to fuel his anger more. Why had she given him those hints if she hadn't wanted him to take them? Just for kicks? Just because she could?!
Feeling stupid, and humiliated, and toyed with he decided they were done here and it was high time for him to go.
But he'd barely taken a half a step away when her voice tried to stop him from taking anymore.
"Tim stop, I'm not finished yet!" Sam urged.
"Yea well I am," He growled beyond livid that she thought she had any right left to ask him to stand here and listen to her half-assed justification after her having admitted what she had just now.
He just wanted to move on from her like she herself had asked him to yet she was being the biggest obstacle in his path.
"Is this some joke?!" Scam barked, exploding again because she was really trying his patience. "I do what you want me to and try to move on, and now that I've made some progress with that YOU won't let me?"
"BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO MOVE ON!" Sam shouted leaving him lost beyond comprehension.
But before he could open his mouth again and grill her over what she meant by that she explained herself.
"I mean ..." She trailed off to take a deep breath and compose herself. Holding herself together right now was crucial. "... What I meant is that I don't want you to move on without understanding everything."
"Is that really necessary?" She heard him almost whine and she could tell that he didn't think that it was.
"Closure…" she whispered choosing her words with great care to make him change his mind. "Is always necessary Tim."
She watched as his mouth closed and lips formed a thin line of reflection. It was like he was trying to decide if listening to her any longer was worth his time or not. Somehow she had to prove to him that it was.
"At least let me explain why I rejected you," Sam wagered. "If you still don't want to see me after hearing what I have to say then I won't stop you." Placing her hand over her heart she looked at him earnestly. "I promise."
"Why do I feel like she's baiting me?" Tim asked himself as he stared sceptically into those big puppy dog eyes she was giving him. No there was no question here, she was doing just that. It seemed that she was willing to do just about anything to get him to stay.
But as much as he wanted to say he wasn't concerned with hearing her point of view and stomp off, he found himself faltering because truly he did want to know why he wasn't good enough for her. As confident and secure of a man he considered himself to be, he was still only human and couldn't escape his curiosity of being unworthy of a girl for the first time in his life.
Although he was still frowning his posture seemed to ease. His broad shoulders relaxed and the tense, angry tiger stance he'd been in ever since he'd learned it had been her who had WOOHPed him shifted into one that looked a lot more approachable.
Taking it as a sign that he was at last letting his guard down, bravely Sam spoke.
"The reason why I freaked out that day was because I realized that you had feelings for me and I..." She hesitated for a second, not being able to predict how he'd take what she was about to reveal before letting it out.
"... I was starting to feel the same way about you."
It felt like the entire street had gone on mute just as she said that, every sound vanishing to be replaced by an all encompassing dead silence. It didn't feel like it was the busy downtown of Los Angeles where WOOHP Headquarters was located anymore, it was as though her words had cast some spell which had transported both he and she to a vacant place where there was no one but them for miles. All she could detect was her frenzied heartbeat and his quiet breaths as he stood close by listening to her confession.
Not daring to look at his face she focused her gaze down at his feet and pushed herself to go on despite how difficult it was. "That's why I had to pump the breaks right then and there before it got any further, before I actually fell in love with you because ... I can't get into a relationship with another WOOHP agent."
If it was somehow possible, the sound of silence between them got even louder. And within it she could easily hear his unasked question like he was screaming it in her face.
Why?
Cautiously she elaborated with a small speech which would hopefully cover everything that had to be explained.
"When I became a WOOHP agent, I swore to myself that I'd never ever fall for one. The life of a spy is just so unpredictable and full of dangers that any day could be the last one. I already live that reality each and every day with my two best friends and myself and that's hard enough to cope with, I don't want to constantly have to worry about my boyfriend being safe too. It ... it'd be too much for me to live with. That's why whoever I date, he can't be someone that has anything to do with WOOHP. That's the one part of my life that has to be spy-free. It just has to be."
Reaching the end of her monologue she waited no less than ten seconds before gradually dragging her eyes back up to his face. And when they got there she could tell with one look at his pensive expression that he was thinking over all she'd said, pondering it and deciding if it was true or false.
"Please let this be enough ..." Sam prayed to the heavens above to take mercy on her. "God please let him understand."
"So WOOHP agents are off limits romantically ... that's what you're saying?" He chimed in giving her false hope that he'd processed what she was trying to get him to. But then a smirk, an "I'm not buying what you're selling here" smirk formed on his lips as he uttered Dean Emerson's name.
"You went out with him just recently. If I recall correctly Dean is an active duty WOOHP agent just like me … or did he quit WOOHP and I didn't get the memo?"
For a moment intense dread gripped her insides and choked her windpipe but she recovered quickly because she was well aware of what was on the line.
"But that's exactly what I mean though ... it's different with you."
"Why is it different with me?!" Tim snapped not two seconds afterwards.
"Well ..." Sam shrugged to buy some valuable milliseconds as her brain speedily made sense of what to say next. "I knew I could go out with Dean without a problem. With you though … that's kinda impossible."
His entire face screwed up at that and she knew he was again wordlessly asking his favourite question to her. Why? What made him sooo different from the others?
"Because with him I know it wouldn't lead to anything. He's just a friend, a good friend but that's it." That came out easily as she was no longer lying. Yes once upon a time Dean was a major crush of hers but now that she knew what it felt like to really fall in love with a guy, those past feelings for him felt entirely trivial. Tim and only Tim was the sole man she had such feelings for now.
"With you ... I just don't trust myself."
Tim's silent stare felt like a hot laser beam glued to her face and she could tell that he again wanted to know why. Why couldn't she be around him like she was with every other guy? What had he done to single himself out?
A long sigh left her mouth as she fidgeted uncomfortably. It was almost intolerable torture for her to have to say this next part without just telling him her real feelings for him. That she wasn't just starting to fall for him but already had fallen hook, line, and sinker.
"Tim ... " she murmured his name tenderly with her heart running a marathon inside her. "You're ... perfect," she confessed. "You're too damn perfect for me and that's why I can't be around you like other guys. Because if do that, if I make the mistake of getting too close to you then I'm scared that I'll fall. I'll fall in love with you. And then—"
Her lips quivered and she had to take a second to bite them and sniffle to stifle her urge to cry. "It'd hurt if some harm came to you. If I lost you, I'd lose my mind. I'd be in the exact same spot that I don't want to be in."
Try as she might she was unable to stop her voice from cracking anymore, her emotions bursting like a dam as her true horror, her real struggle with him again resurfaced. The thought of one day losing him forever.
She didn't know if it was because he felt bad for her, but for whatever reason he took a step, just one step closer to where she was. This time when he opened his mouth, his tone was much gentler than it had been in what felt like years.
"So that's all there is to it? You can't go out with me because I'm a WOOHP agent? That's the only reason for you rejecting me?"
A flicker of doubt could still be picked up on in that question but Sam nodded her head firmly to convince him that yes, that was all there was to it. And this time, by some miracle, she appeared to have assured him.
"Sam ... " Scam started slowly, looking at her with compassion filled eyes. "I can understand you don't want to be with me because you're worried that with my being an agent, you could lose me some day but life never gives you any guarantees."
Perhaps it was because of his upbringing but he didn't agree with going through life with that kind of pessimism, of living every day surrounded by the dark clouds of even darker thoughts and the impending doom of the sky falling down. He believed that you only lived once and you should make the most of it and you should take whatever time that you were given with someone you loved and cherish it instead of losing sleep over what the duration of that time would be.
"You could choose to be with the most mundane guy on this planet. One who always plays it safe and avoids danger at every turn, but what guarantee do you have that that same guy might not develop some deadly disease or get hit by a car some day?" He questioned, giving her examples of ways even the most careful people lost their lives daily.
No matter how hard they tried to be, people were never entirely in control of their fate. "People die all the time," he stated matter-of-factly, trying to give her some perspective on this black and white decision she'd made on an issue that was full of nothing but gray. "Ruling me out just because of my job doesn't make a lot of sense. Yes it's a risky job," he nodded. "But life is all about risks.
Sam's heart skipped a beat as he came close enough to her that their toes brushed together and almost stopped breathing altogether when he reached out and grasped her chin.
Lifting her face so that she was looking at him directly in his eyes, he whispered to her tenderly.
"No I can't guarantee to you that I won't die on you some day but there is one thing that I can guarantee. One thing that you won't have to ever worry about with me."
She licked her lips and drew a shaky breath, her eyelids drooping and body wobbling as she maintained their intense eye contact. The pad of his thumb softly stroked her jaw causing a whimper out of her as his voice lowered even more.
"I'd never willingly leave you. I'd never just decide one day that I didn't want you anymore Samantha. If you were mine ... then only death would separate us."
Sam couldn't help but gasp at his honest and soul-searing promise to her. Never before had she heard such passionate words from a man and to hear them coming from the man she loved was powerful enough to make her resolve waver.
He made her want to believe him so badly that it hurt, it actually physically caused her pain to try and fight against the force of his meaningful vows.
Suddenly feeling weak in his presence and longing to surrender every part of herself to his embrace, Sam hauled herself free from him and took a step back breaking the sweltering tension between them.
She frowned being unable to handle him pouring his heart out to her like this. It lowered her defences and made her want to take the chance on him that she could never afford to.
"I TOLD YOU THAT IT CAN'T HAPPEN AND I TOLD YOU WHY!" Sam screamed at him with her tone sore with frustration, staring at everything but that handsome face of his that tempted her so terribly.
In return he too frowned and retaliated by crossing his arms over his muscular chest to put up a wall between them just as she had by moving away from him.
He was mad at himself for what he'd just done. For a moment he'd messed up and become vulnerable to her again which he'd just last night pledged he'd never do again. It shouldn't be this easy for her to kick down his doors and waltz right back into his life. Why was he making it so easy?
"But you want us to be friends still, is that right?" Scam asked going back to strict business.
He assumed the answer was yes because if it wasn't, then why would she have done all this? They could have gone on living just the way they had been for months, pretending they were strangers with no need to change anything.
"Yes," Sam confirmed that he was indeed correct. "I miss us being friends and being a team."
Honestly she couldn't put into words how much she missed being his spy partner, something she'd never thought could be before he'd gone and stolen her heart.
"And if it's possible ... I'd really like to have that back."
She felt optimistic that he was going to say yes. He had to! They'd broken the glacier of ice between them and had a civil conversation, their relationship was off the rocks and back on stable ground.
In fact she was so keenly awaiting to hear that yes from him that his actual response shocked her to her core.
"I'm sorry ... but that doesn't make any sense to me."
"..." Her face crumbling, she could only stare at him transfixed in horror. He couldn't be about to say what she was starting to fear he was going to. He couldn't!
"On one hand you're telling me that you can't get any closer to me because you could fall in love with me yet on the other ... you're the one asking me to come closer to you."
"..."
"If I accepted this proposal of yours and became your friend, that would put me right back in your circle. We'd be seeing each other every day, talking to one another all the time, and working side by side on a daily basis."
He glanced at her face to see if she was following him on this. Finding her looking totally disconnected, he illustrated further.
"I'll still be ... me. Still perfect for you as you said so yourself. What guarantee do you have that you'll be able to prevent yourself from falling for me then?" He asked her pointedly and it was at this point that she couldn't help but notice his voice had shed the sweetness it had held just minutes before and had turned jaded.
He was shutting her out again and she had to stop him before he succeeded.
"W-well because ..." Sam stuttered as she tried to come up with something. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. "Be-because..."
She stopped and closed her eyes for a moment, thinking deeply before speaking.
"Because you wouldn't be pursuing me anymore. You would know that we are just friends and accept that nothing could ever happen between us—"
"But I don't accept that nothing could ever happen between us." Tim shook his head and pointed at her accusingly as he clarified. "It's you. YOU are the one who thinks that not ME."
His eyes then lit up with fire as he glared at her. "Why then are you expecting me to assist you in remembering that we can't be more than friends when and if you start to forget? Because honestly? I wouldn't do that. Heck, I'd be the last person on this planet to do that."
His blatant denial to go along with her plan and his unyielding stubbornness left her dumbfounded. And before she could even get a word in to try and get this discussion back on track, he went ahead and dropped the atom bomb on her.
"Which is why I don't think that we should be friends. I think that it's best for both of us to just stay exactly the way we are now where we don't talk to each other, don't see each other unless it's in the halls at WOOHP, and stay on separate units."
Sweeping his hand towards her, he shrugged. "I mean, that's safer for you. I see no reason why anything should change."
The frown on his lips widened at her even asking him to do this. What was she trying to do to him? Hurt him again? Didn't she realize that it'd be too hard for him to put himself around her and not act on his feelings? He couldn't just snap his fingers and make them vanish. What she was asking him to do was just too messy, too complicated, and way too much effort.
"So ... the answer is no," Scam said leaving no room for doubt as to what he'd decided. "Sorry but we can't be friends."
Every word he said hit her heart like the blow of a steel hammer and she could feel tears starting to form in her eyes as realization dawned upon her as to what exactly he was saying.
Sam bit her cheek hard to stop from erupting into sobs right there on the sidewalk. She felt beaten. In her joy at having come up with a valid seeming reason to hide why she couldn't truly be with him, she'd failed to see the loophole that Tim easily had. And as much as she wanted to debate with him on it, she knew that he was right.
Taking her extended silence as her agreement with his choice, Scam turned around to go and get on with his life without her. If he hurried he could still make his lunch date with Skylar.
"BUT I CAN'T LIVE WITH THAT!" Sam burst out from behind him, frantic and afraid. No this wasn't the end for them. She refused to believe that!
"...Why not?" Tim asked genuinely surprised that she was arguing with him on this subject again. Didn't they settle this just two seconds ago?
"B-because-" She protested only to be cut off by him because he'd had more than enough.
"Because what?!" He snarled pushing her to tell him why she couldn't just let him be.
"I ... I dunno ..." Sam mumbled almost like a child as she dropped her head in failure. She wanted him to stay but had no idea how to get him to. He couldn't know that she loved him more than he'd ever know but she also couldn't let him go.
For a long moment he stared her down strongly for his answer before giving up. Running a hand through his hair he almost ripped out some strands being at wits end with her. And sealing his eyes and breathing hard he knew he just couldn't do this anymore.
"I'm sorry but that isn't an answer Samantha," he grumbled roughly, the sound of his drained voice indicating just how worn-out he was with her. "If you don't have any good reason to want to be around me when you yourself admitted how hard that is for you, then it makes zero sense for me to comply with your request. It's just better that we stay away from each other for good."
It was time to put an end to this merry-go-round for both their sakes now that he had her reason for not loving him back, the so-called reason anyway which was better than nothing.
"Goodbye Samantha," he declared with finality before walking away.
But he didn't make it far as just five seconds later he was forced to stop when he felt a feminine hand gripping his wrist ferociously from behind.
Scam sighed inaudibly knowing full well that it was Sam and tried to shake himself loose so that he could be on his way. Yet the more he tried the more her hold tightened until her fingers felt like literal handcuffs restraining him from going.
"Sam..." He started to mutter, annoyed as he turned around to tell her to stop this nonsense and let him go.
But when he did he was left shaken at the shocking image that greeted him.
A pale, shaking, and heartbroken Samantha with oceans of tears bleeding out of her red and puffy eyes that cried out brokenly while her entire form shook from the force of her sobs.
"T-Tim ... please..." Sam begged, her lips quivering as a fresh burst of tears cascaded down her face and blended into the skin of her now soggy cheeks while her grip on him tightened even more. It was as though she was holding onto him with every ounce of her strength. Holding onto him like he was her life itself.
She didn't seem to notice anyone or anything present but him. Him and only him. And then her voice cracked as she whispered softly.
"…Please?"
Scam's eyes widened in concern and his jaw parted at her condition. Never in all his life had he seen someone look so scared, so desperate, so unbelievably ... sad.
All of a sudden realization hit him like a wrecking ball. The look in her eyes, the raw pain in her voice, the way she wouldn't let him go no matter what. It could only mean that... that—"
"SAM! RELEASE HIM AT ONCE AND THAT'S AN ORDER!"
Both their heads snapped in the direction of that angry booming command.
It was Jerry Lewis, he'd caught up to them ... and he didn't look pleased.
...
RUH ROH! xD
A very long chapter (sorry!) but after this long of a wait, I wanted to make up for it. ^_^
Sooo how do y'all feel about Sam's plan to just be Tim's friend even though she knows she's in love with him? Do you think it'll work? Do you think he'll even forgive her? And what do you guys think Scam realized right at the end? And most of all, what's Jerry going to do next?
Anticipate hearing from you guys! Review if you have a second! :) Also I'll probably be updating "Second Chances" next when I get a chance!
Till next time,
Cresenta :D