She was up early the next morning. She hadn't slept well. Had spent the evening on walking up and down the floor for various reasons, and she felt a bit groggy as she emerged from bed and went into the bathroom to take a quick shower. She was going home today. They were going home.
Regina was of course looking forward to seeing Henry. She had missed him a lot in these two emotional days. But she was also looking forward to the drive home with Emma. Not that she had many chances to respond to the things Emma might be saying, but any time spend in Emma's glorious company, was time well-spent. Especially after last night. Getting to know Emma had been wonderful. Regina hoped that she would get many more opportunities to ask Emma questions.
Her feelings had not changed overnight. Nor had her plans. She was most definitely going to ask Emma on a date today. No excuses. No attempts of putting it off. And no getting shy in the very last moment. It was time to be brave. Time to start living again.
Regina left her hair to airdry and then went downstairs and into the kitchen. She ate two slices of toasts and then made coffee. It was a long drive home, and she was planning on being awake for all of it this time. She refused to miss out on anything. Emma had driven alone once. There was no way Regina was letting her do so again.
The coffee machine made a clicking sound to indicate that the coffee was done, and Regina poured herself a cup of coffee. She was just about to take a sip when she heard creaking on the stairs. The next second Emma was coming into the kitchen. Regina was a bit surprised. Yesterday was rough. She had expected Emma to sleep an hour longer. Damnit. Now she regretted her decision about letting her hair airdry. It was curling at the bottom and looked untidy. Regina didn't want to look untidy in front of Emma.
But Emma's hair was wet too. And she didn't seem bothered by the state of her hair. Perhaps this was just another thing Regina had to work on. That she didn't have to look polished and perfect all the time. She was not a porcelain doll. She was a human being made of flesh and blood.
"Good morning," Emma said softly and smiled at her.
Regina nodded to acknowledge the greeting and then pointed to the coffee machine.
As always, Emma quickly caught on. "Oh, you made coffee. Awesome. Thank you."
Regina bowed her head to acknowledge the thank you.
Emma grabbed a cup and poured herself a cup of coffee. Regina considered warning her that it was very warm but reminded herself that Emma probably already knew that.
"So, are you ready to leave?" Emma asked as she turned around with the cup of coffee in hand.
Regina nodded eagerly and tried not to think about how nice Emma looked with wet hair. There were more important things to think about. How much she was looking forward to seeing Henry, for instance.
"Me, too," Emma said, but it did not sound very genuine.
Regina was glad that Emma liked this place despite the whole thing with Liam. Perhaps they could come back here someday. Just the two of them. Together. No police.
Regina would like that very much.
Her phone chimed and she quickly checked the message. It was from Henry. He was looking forward to seeing her again. Regina smiled as she texted back that she was looking forward to seeing him too. So much. Her smile widened as she read the next text from him. Apparently, they were having fried chicken tonight 'to celebrate'. That was sweet of Zelena. A bit much, but still sweet. Regina appreciated it.
A loud coughing sound had Regina looking up and nearly dropping the phone in pure shock.
"I'm fine," Emma hoarsely assured and cleared her throat. "I'm absolutely fine."
Regina spontaneously rubbed her own throat. She wasn't too fond of people sounding like they were choking. Bit too many memories.
Next to her, Emma sighed, and that caught Regina's attention. She raised an eyebrow again. She really wanted to ask Emma what that sigh had been about, but she respected that Emma had thoughts she wanted to keep to herself.
"Have you already had breakfast?" Emma asked and made her snap out of it.
Regina nodded in affirmative. She had. And in hindsight, she should probably have waited for Emma, so she didn't have to eat breakfast on her own. Damnit.
"Alright," Emma said, setting her cup of coffee down and walking over to the fridge. She found bread and cheese and prepared herself a small breakfast.
Regina wondered if she should communicate something. Suggest Emma to eat a bigger breakfast. But she quickly reminded herself that it was not up to her to decide what Emma should eat for breakfast. If she wanted bread and cheese, that was what she should eat.
Emma took a large bite of her bread and immediately started coughing again.
Regina's throat cramped in sympathy, and she felt tempted to reach out and pat Emma on the back to relieve her. But she wasn't sure Emma would appreciate the help. She settled for raising and eyebrow and bringing Emma her cup of coffee.
"Thanks," Emma croaked as she accepted the cup. "God damnit!"
That had Regina smiling. 'Careful', she mouthed.
"Yeah," Emma chuckled and cleared her throat. "Pardon me."
Regina's smile widened. Emma's cheek had pinked because of the coughing fit, and although Regina wanted her cheeks to pinken for other reasons, she still thought that it looked awfully sweet. She really liked when Emma Swan blushed. She wanted her to do that more often…
As soon as Emma had finished her breakfast, it was time to leave.
Regina locked up the log house and stuffed the key away. Then they both walked towards the yellow bug.
Regina tried not to sigh. She was really going to miss the log house. She was going to miss sitting and drinking wine with Emma while getting to know her. It had been so nice to finally have a normal conversation that wasn't laced with anxiety or stained with the secret she was keeping.
Suddenly, Emma jogged past her and opened the door to the passenger's seat.
Regina raised an eyebrow. Oh. That was very gallant of her. She couldn't help but feeling amused as she entered the car as elegantly as she could. She couldn't recall that anybody had ever opened a car door for her before.
Emma gently closed the door behind her and then climbed onto the driver's seat. She fumbled with the key for a moment before inserting and twisting it in the ignition. The little yellow Bug came alive with a roar, and Regina turned her head and looked back at the log house as they drove away.
"It's a beautiful place," Emma said. She had clearly picked up on Regina's lingering gaze.
Regina nodded in agreement. Wished that it had been possible for her to say something. Anything. She already missed the wonderful conversation they'd had last night.
But her voice remained locked away somewhere in her throat.
Talking was out of the question.
As always.
Regina hoped that they could talk like they had last night another time.
Her cellphone chimed. Henry was messaging her again. He wanted to know if they had left yet. Regina smiled as she confirmed that they had. She was officially on her way home to her son.
'Did you have a nice time with Emma?'
Regina didn't have to think before answering. 'Yes. I had a very nice time. Did you have a nice time with aunt Z?'
'Yep, I've eaten forbidden food only :P'
Regina suffocated a sigh. She had a feeling that her darling son was not joking. He had indeed feasted on unhealthy food while she had been away. She would have to talk to Zelena about that when she came home. Just because she was going way, didn't mean that her sister could let go of the reins entirely.
'Have you now? Well, I'll have to have a little chat with your aunt then.'
Henry texted back that he had just been joking, but Regina knew better, and she smiled a little to herself.
Grey clouds loomed over the little yellow Bug as they drove mile after mile. Regina spent most of the time looking out of the window. She did want to talk to Emma, but that was not possible right now. Emma didn't understand Sign Language, and Regina couldn't write messages on her phone and show them to Emma while she was driving. That was dangerous. So she would have to settle for gazing out of the window.
And she was nervous. The closer they were getting to her sister's place, the more Regina thought about what she was going to do. Invite Emma on a date. That made her very nervous. She was not very used to inviting people on dates. Inviting Emma to come to the Priscilla Adams concert with her had been different. That had been done via text. This would be face to face, and Regina was anxious. Her anxiety was complicated. She was anxious about being so anxious she couldn't ask Emma out. She was anxious about being so anxious she messed up.
And she was anxious about Emma potentially saying no.
Deep down, she didn't actually believe that Emma would say no, but still, you could never be too sure, could you?
And now she was even scared of making eye contact with Emma.
But there were also other things to be concerned about.
Her doctor's appointment tomorrow being one of them.
It was just a routine checkup, to make sure that her throat was healing as it should, nothing serious, but it still made her uneasy.
She hated being poked and prodded. Had endured too much of that already.
Her skin was already crawling.
"You alright?"
Emma's voice had her snapping out of it and she gave a quick nod. Too quick. She had a feeling that she was not convincing Emma at all.
But Emma didn't pursue the subject. Instead she said: "we've been on the road for a while now. Do you wanna stop for a sandwich and a cup of coffee? The sign said there's supposed to be a gas station about two miles down the road."
Regina nodded. She was starting to feel a bit peckerish. And she was desperate for a cup of coffee. She was not planning on taking a nap when she got home, and she would need lots of coffee to stay awake. It had been a couple of wild days.
They reached the gas station, and Emma swiftly leapt from the car and jogged inside. Regina spend the time on checking her phone. There was another message from Henry. He asked when she would be home, and Regina smiled because the impatience was seeping through the message. She texted him back and assured him that it wouldn't be long before she was home. She missed him. Couldn't wait to wrap her arms around him. And she was so relieved that this was finally over. No more Liam Jones terrorizing
them.
After a moment, Emma came back with two cups of coffee and two sandwiches. Regina prepared herself with her bottle of water and her little bottle of pills. Her throat didn't hurt as such, but she had strained her muscles a lot yesterday. It was better to be on the safe side. She took one pill with lots of water.
"Does it hurt?"
Regina turned her head and raised an eyebrow.
"Your…. Throat," Emma clarified and looked like she was embarrassed.
Regina shook her head in negative and reminded herself to tell Emma that she didn't have to be embarrassed about asking. Her throat was not a taboo subject. Not at all.
"Good. That's good," Emma said and fidgeted slightly. "It's just... You have this particular concerned look on your face, and I worry about you, so if there's something you're worried about, you can tell me. Yeah. I think that's what I'm trying to say."
Nothing slipped past Emma's notice, did it? Regina wondered to herself how much time Emma spent on carefully watching her. Regina found the stack of post-its in her pocket along with her pencil. She elegantly balanced the stack on her thigh. Then she began writing. True, it would have been easier to use her phone, but this was more personal. She liked writing with a pencil. She couldn't tell Emma that she was nervous about asking her out on a date, so she went with the second thing she was anxious about.
'I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. It's just a checkup, but it still makes me feel uncomfortable. I can't stop thinking about how I'll have to endure being touched and examined tomorrow. I know it's stupid, but sometimes I have to take hour long showers afterwards.' Those damn doctors' appointments. Another brilliant reason NOT to get that operation. She gave Emma the note.
"It is not stupid," Emma said firmly and looked her right in the eye. "Alright? It's not stupid. It's a... It's a way of coping. It's your way of coping. There's nothing stupid about that, okay?"
It was sweet of her to say, but Regina still felt like it was stupid. It was just a doctors' appointment for crying out loud. It wasn't dangerous. Or particularly invasive. Plus, Doctor Anton was always very gentle and respectful. Always telling her what he was going to do before he did it. Always asked her if she felt okay or needed a break. He was a perfectly lovely man.
And yet Regina always felt like slapping his hands away when they neared her.
She would have to work on that. A lot.
"Is there something I can do to help you?" Emma asked, green eyes wide and kind.
Regina shrugged in an 'I don't know manner'. Just talking to Emma about it was already helping her immensely.
"Are you going to the doctor alone?" Emma asked gently.
Regina nodded. For once, the answer was yes. Zelena had of course offered to go with her, but Regina had declined the offer. Zelena had offer things to do, and….
'Yes. Zelena has been accompanying me once or twice but having someone with me only makes it harder.' Indeed. Zelena's cheerful attitude that covered for her concern could feel a bit suffocating at times. A bit like she was trying too hard. Which she was. Plus, she had a specific way of talking whenever they were at the doctors. Her doctor-voice, Regina had dubbed it in her head. She gave the note to Emma.
"I understand that," Emma said with a slight nod. "But if you need someone to talk to before or after, you can always text me. Always. You know that, right?"
If she kept going on like this, there was a good chance Regina would start to blubber. And she didn't want to blubber. She didn't LIKE to blubber. Before Killian Jones dug his sharp claws into her, Regina had not been a crier. Sure, she had cried when her mother had died. She had died when her dad had died (very much!) and she had shed tears of pain, exhaustion and joy when Henry was born. But that was it. The number of times she had cried before meeting Killian Jones could be counted on one hand. Regina had learned from her mother that tears didn't change anything.
When Killian came along and started beating her, he only strengthened that belief. It had never mattered how much she cried and begged him not to.
'Thank you. Do you think perhaps we could talk about something else now?' Regina gave the note to Emma before her thoughts could trail off further. She didn't want to waste thoughts on Killian Jones. Not today, damnit!
"Absolutely," the Emma said and glanced out of the window. "Crappy weather, huh?"
Of all the things in all the world, she went with the weather. Regina couldn't help but smile. Then she took another bite of her sandwich. Which was pretty good considering that it was bought in a gas-station. It had to be an exceptionally good gas-station.
Regina's thoughts drifted as she ate her sandwich. She was exhausted. Completely drained. She hadn't slept much last night. Had actually spend quite a while on walking up and down the bedroom floor because she had remembered that she had a doctor's appointment today. That had caused some anxiety, and she had considered cancelling. But after having thought it through (while pacing up and down the floor) she had come to the decision that if she could face Liam Jones, she could face Doctor Anton too.
There was absolutely nothing to be afraid of. Nothing whatsoever.
She had also thought a lot about Emma before falling asleep last night. Had thought a lot about the date she was planning on asking Emma out on. And that had made her even more nervous than the thought of going to the doctors.
Regina sighed to herself. She was always one big ball of anxiety….
The weather had not gotten any better by the time they arrived at Zelena's place. Grey clouds were hanging low in the sky, and Regina thought to herself that it would either start raining or snowing. One of the two. She hoped for snow. Rain was so unpleasant.
And especially when it was this chilly.
She unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car with her bag slung over her shoulder.
Emma followed suit, and Regina smiled. Glad that Emma had understood her not too subtle hint about not wanting to say goodbye in the car. She wanted to do this the right way. The proper way. No more rushed goodbyes.
"Well..." Emma said and tugged a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. The wind was making it blow around. "I think we did pretty good this weekend, don't you?"
Regina nodded in agreement. They had done more than good. She would never forget the way Emma had been so prepared to attack Liam for her sake. She was glad that she hadn't though. And she was also glad about the decision she had made earlier. To leave the gun. It was now safely stored away in the locked drawer in her bedroom. Unloaded. Regina doubted that she ever would be needing it again, but she hadn't wanted to throw it away. Perhaps she could give it back to the police or something.
"I'll... I'll see you soon?" Emma asked and sounded very timid.
Did she even have to ask? Could she truly not see how much Regina wanted to see her again? She felt a twang of guilt. It was her own fault. She had sent Emma so many mixed signals, it was no wonder she was unsure of what to think.
But she was done sending out mixed signals. So, so done!
To prove that, Regina lifted her hands, so her palms were facing each other. She then bent her fingers slightly and made sure that the tips of her middle- and ring finger were touching her thumbs. She pointed her index fingers upwards as she brought her hands together at the fingertips in a small, quick motion. It was a complicated sign. And also one that Regina hadn't thought she'd ever use. But there was a first time for everything, as they said. And that phrase also counted for Sign Language.
Emma smiled. "And what does that mean?"
Well, here goes nothing. God, Regina was so nervous she could feel the sweat gathering in the back of her neck even though it was cold. She mentally scoffed at herself. She was not a blushing sixteen-year-old who was about to invite her crush out on a date.
She was a thirty-five-year-old woman who had been in the dating game for a while.
But she definitely had a crush on Emma Swan.
A big one.
She reached within the pocket of her coat and found the note she had written earlier this morning. Only a single word. 'Date'. She hadn't been completely sure on how she was going to ask Emma out, but she had been sure that it would and should take more than just a note with the word 'date' written on it.
She gave Emma the note and silently cursed the fact that she couldn't verbally ask Emma out. That would have worked better.
Emma's green eyes were wide and her mouth slightly agape as she looked up. Her voice equally disbelieving as she asked: "are you asking me…." She didn't finish the sentence. Just stared.
Regina nodded. Kept the smile plastered to her face and desperately hoped that she hadn't missed her chance.
There was nothing she wanted more than going on another date with Emma. Please say yes. I don't know what I'll do if you say no. Please give me a chance.
"I'd love to," Emma said earnestly and smiled as she tugged a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. Her eyes were full of hope and unbridled joy.
Regina's shoulders returned to their normal position and she felt the happiness spread within her. Emma had said yes! They were really going on another date! Regina couldn't wait. Nor could she contain herself. She lifted her hand, wanting to touch Emma, but then she frowned. Perhaps it was too much too soon.
"It's okay," Emma said immediately. "Go ahead."
Regina lightly put her hand on Emma's cheek, and she could have sworn she saw Emma's eyes light up. She leaned into the touch. So discreetly it was barely there, but Regina could definitely feel it.
Warmth blossomed within her. Feelings sparked. Completely new, shiny feelings she hadn't thought herself capable of feeling.
Ideas too.
Startling ideas.
Like… What would happen if she decided to kiss Emma Swan right now?
Would the sky drop?
Or would everything simply click into place?
Regina had it feeling that it would.
She had kissed Emma once. For a very, very brief moment she had allowed herself to feel. And it had felt good. Before she had become overwhelmed with painful memories, it had been good.
This would be different.
It would be better.
She was ready for it now.
She was open to be kissed.
She wanted to kiss Emma.
But then a movement from the house distracted her.
They both looked back, and Regina was certain that Emma could see it too.
Zelena peering out at them from behind the curtain.
Regina almost wanted to grind her teeth as she saw the curtain fall back into place. If Zelena was aiming for subtility, she was doing a horrid job. She had just stolen Regina's opportunity to kiss Emma. She could feel the moment shatter around them.
Damnit!
Emma chuckled softly. So she had definitely seen Zelena too. Great. Regina would have to find some kind of way to convince Emma that she was NOT a well-guarded treasure. Zelena was NOT her keeper.
Regina moved her palm away from Emma's cheek. Moment officially ruined. Thanks a lot, Zelena. I owe you one.
"I'll see you soon." Emma said and sounded equally mournful that the moment had been ruined by Zelena.
Regina nodded. Retrieved her phone from her pocket and tapped it lightly.
"Yeah, I'll text you," Emma assured. "And you can text me. Whenever you want."
Regina was definitely going to do that. She nodded in affirmative.
"Right then," Emma said. She sounded reluctant. Perhaps even as reluctant as Regina felt.
Regina lifted her hand and palmed Emma's cheek gently once more. Why not drag out their little moment? The opportunity to kiss her had passed, but this was nice too. Very, very nice. Emma's skin was so soft. And her cheek was perfectly molded. Like it fitted right into Regina's palm.
"You signed something to me last night," Emma murmured. "Before you went to bed."
Regina nodded in confirmation. She sure did.
"Could you show me again?"
Regina's eyes sparkled as she moved her hand away from Emma's cheek and then did what she had done last night. She curled her four other fingers, brought her raised index finger up so it was almost touching her nose, then brought her fist down on her palm in a motion that was a bit more bouncing than last night. She let her index finger point to Emma.
"What does it mean?" Emma asked.
Regina tilted her head. She couldn't tell Emma right now. It wasn't the right time. She wanted it to be special.
"You won't tell me?" Emma sounded a bit frustrated. "You're pointing at me, so it clearly has something to do with me, right?"
Very much so. Regina nodded.
Emma frowned slightly. "Okay, so it's something about me, but what? Is it a question? You're asking me something?"
Not quite. Regina shook her head and mouthed: 'telling.'
"Oh. Alright. You're telling me something," Emma's frown deepened as she considered it. "That could be just about a million things, couldn't it? Is it something about yourself again?"
Regina felt her cheeks heat up as she nodded in confirmation. She found her phone in her pocket and typed: 'in a way, yes.' Then she showed the screen to Emma.
"Hmmm." The word was almost hummed, and Emma seemed to chew the inside of her cheek. "In a way, so is it-"
"Mom!"
A door was ripped open, and a Henry-sized tornado came barreling down the pathway. In the blink of an eye, he was wrapping his arms tightly around Regina's midriff.
Regina rumbled in silent laughter as she hugged her son back.
"I've missed you!" Henry exclaimed as he looked up at her.
'I've missed you too,' Regina signed and then gestured lightly to Emma, telling Henry that she was trying to learn Sign Language. That was too exciting not to share.
"You're trying to learn Sign Language?" Henry asked as he turned to Emma.
"Yeah, that's right," Emma confirmed with a smile. "I thought it would be really cool to learn to understand your mom a little better."
"That's so cool!" Henry said excitedly, and then tilted his head slightly as he asked: "Does that mean you're gonna hang out here a lot?"
"Uhm…" Emma glanced pending at Regina. Clearly unsure of what to answer.
Regina answered for her. She nodded firmly and smiled. Yes, Emma was going to hang out here a lot.
"Cool!" Henry said and looked like he was about to say something more, but he didn't get the chance before he was stopped by Zelena who was coming down the pathway. She was scowling slightly.
"Well, excuse you, young man," she said.
"Ooops?" Henry offered. The little rascal didn't even sound moderately sorry.
Zelena sighed and turned to Regina. "Your son has developed the unfortunate habit of running away, sis."
Regina's chest rumbled again as she reached out and ruffled Henry's hair. She was not upset at him. He hadn't interrupted anything. But Zelena on the other hand… She had DEFINITELY interrupted something.
And Regina was planning on telling her that.
"If it's any consolation, I did try to stop him," Zelena said as she turned to Emma. "Hello, Emma. Good to see you again."
"You too," Emma said and smiled at her. She seemed a little effed that they had been interrupted.
Regina suspected that she was frustrated about not knowing what she had just signed, but Regina had decided that this was not the time nor place to confess her feelings.
Not with Zelena lurking in the window.
Henry looked up at Emma. "You should come inside with us! Can't Emma come inside with us, mom?"
"I'm afraid I can't today, kid," Emma said quickly and then glanced at Regina as she continued: "but maybe another time?"
Regina nodded again and smiled. She would have loved if Emma came inside and stayed for a while, but she respected that Emma was busy.
Another time definitely. One day she would have to invite Emma over for dinner so she could cook for her. That could be really nice.
"You have to see my comic books sometimes!" Henry piped up.
"I'd love to," Emma smiled and then looked at Regina once more. "Anyway, I should probably..."
"Henry," Zelena said and outstretched a hand towards Henry. "Come on."
But Henry shook his head and just clutched Regina's hand tighter. He had definitely missed her, and even though Regina would have liked to say goodbye to Emma without an audience, she would never dream of letting go of her son's hand. No way.
And honestly, Zelena's not too subtle hint was painful. It was bordering on cliché.
As on cue, Zelena sighed slightly and shook her head a bit.
"See you soon," Emma said and flashed Regina a smile.
Indeed. Regina smiled. They would see each other very soon. She didn't take her eyes off of Emma as she turned around and climbed inside that adorable little bug of hers.
It felt a bit flat, watching her drive away, but Regina put on a smile for her son and willingly let him drag her inside. He was chattering on and filling her in on everything that had happened while she was away. Which had been a lot of popcorns and a lot of movies.
Regina banished every thought about Emma Swan from her mind and concentrated on every word her son was saying. Now was not the time to think about her budding feelings for Emma.
Zelena was circling her too. Clearly curious to know more about the showdown with Liam, but with Henry around, it was impossible to talk about that kind of stuff. And honestly, Regina didn't really want too either. As far as she was concerned, Liam Jones was a closed chapter. Now came the future. Starting with a date with Emma Swan. Something she was very, very excited about!
The only time Henry left her alone was when she headed upstairs to unpack, but she didn't get a moment to herself. She had barely unzipped her suitcase before there was a knock on her door.
Regina quelled a sigh and tapped her nightstand, signalizing that Zelena could come in. Because of course it was. The door opened and in she came.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
Regina nodded. Abandoned her suitcase and turned around. Lifted her hands and signed: 'don't hide behind the curtain next time.'
"Uhm..." Zelena flushed. She had clearly thought that she was the mistress of the gentle act of being subtle. She was not. "Sorry. I was just-"
'Don't,' Regina firmly interrupted, movements firm. 'I don't like it and you stole my opportunity.' Oh. She hadn't actually meant to add the last part.
Zelena of course was like a dog with a bone. "Your opportunity to what?"
Regina turned around and closed her eyes. Counted to five. She really needed her own place. And a less nosy sister.
"Bloody hell, were you going to kiss her?!"
And there it is. Regina tapped the wooded surface twice for yes. Had she not been distracted by her dear sister, she would indeed have kissed Emma.
And it would have been absolutely glorious.
But alas, Zelena had stolen the moment.
What a villain.
"Oh shit. I'm sorry!" Zelena sounded genuinely sorry.
'You should be,' Regina signed. 'You stole my kiss.' Okay, that definitely made her seem like a petulant child, but she couldn't help it. She was genuinely disappointed over seeing her opportunity to kiss Emma disappear in thin air.
She had really wanted to kiss her.
There had been no fear.
Only anticipation.
But again, Zelena had... happened.
Zelena had the audacity to look amused. "I won't lurk behind the curtain next time," she promised
Regina turned around and looked her sister dead in the eyes as she signed: 'no. You will not.'
Now chastised, Zelena cringed and clearly regretted her decision about lurking. But she was still bold enough to ask: "are you going to see her again?"
'Yes,' Regina signed. 'I asked her out.'
"You did? Sis, that's wonderful!"
Regina's sullen attitude was replaced with a smile. Yes. Yes, it was. It was very, very wonderful!
"Where are you guys going then?" Zelena asked curiously.
Regina shrugged. She hadn't thought about that yet. But she supposed Eugenia's Inn could do. For now. Later, she would invite Emma to fancier places. And to come here so she could cook for her. She also wanted Emma to spend time with Henry and get to know him. It was essential that the two of them developed a good relationship. Regina and Henry was a package deal.
But she wasn't too worried about that. She knew that Henry already was quite taken with Emma. And Emma had seemed pretty fond of him too. Regina had observed them on the Ferris Wheel. She had seen how they both had laughed and smiled. All good signs.
Very good signs.
She forgot that Zelena was still standing there and glanced at her phone. Her fingers were almost itching to text Emma. She wasn't even sure what she was going to text her. 'Drive safely', perhaps. Or: 'thank you for your help with Liam. I couldn't have done this without you.'
Or perhaps even: 'I can't wait to see you again.'
The following afternoon found Regina sitting in the waiting room amongst the other patients waiting to see Doctor Anton. Her anxiety was swirling low in her gut, but she tried breathing her way through it. Really trying. And continuously reminding herself that she should be proud. She was here on her own. No Zelena in sight. Her sister hadn't been too fond of the idea of Regina going on her own, but she hadn't genuinely protested. Just looked concerned.
Regina shifted a bit on uncomfortable plastic chair. The more people being called in by the doctor, the more anxious she became. She took another deep breath. Told herself to calm down.
And… just because she was here alone didn't mean that she had to be by herself. Regina smiled a little as she whipped out her phone and texted: 'am I interrupting you in the middle of work?' if she was lucky, the text would reach Emma just as she was taking a break.
Her phone vibrated. She was in luck.
'No, not at all, I'm taking a break. You alright?'
Regina pursed her lips. 'Not really, I'm at the doctors. I'm sitting in the waiting room and waiting for him to call my name. But maybe I shouldn't be texting you when you're at work.'
'It's completely fine. I'm here if you need to talk. Can I ask how you're feeling right now?'
Regina decided to moderate the truth a little. Telling Emma that she felt on the verge of throwing up because of anxiety would be a gross thing to do. 'You can. And to be completely honest, I'm not entirely sure how I feel right now. Every time I sit and wait for the doctor to call my name, I feel a bit beside myself, like I'm watching myself from above. I don't know if you can relate, I know it sounds ridiculous.' She pursed her lips a little. Perhaps it would have been better to text Zelena. She didn't want to dump this on Emma.
'It's not ridiculous at all, I understand what you mean. Can you tell me how I can help you right now?'
Regina smiled. So she was clearly not bothering Emma at all. She could feel the sincerity ooze through the phone. She knew exactly how Emma could help. By distracting her. 'I'd appreciate if you could tell me something. About your work, about your writing. Anything, really.'
The answer came almost immediately. 'I signed up for sign language lessons this morning!'
Regina's smile widened. 'Really?'
'Yeah! And I'm really looking forward to getting started. I think it's gonna be very interesting.'
'I'm sure it will. Perhaps you'll be able to teach me something, then.'
'I doubt it, but I hope you'll help me a little. Make sure I'm understanding the different signs correctly.'
'I'd be happy to do that.'
Emma was serious about her. About them. Some of Regina's anxiety immediately melted away. And Emma's next answer ('Awesome!') made her rumble in silent laughter.
'But the person you really have to ask for help is Henry,' she typed. 'He's the expert in sign language. Not me.'
'Then I'll ask him too.'
"Regina Mills?"
Regina felt a twinge of anxiety again as the doctor called her name. 'You should. The doctor is calling my name now. I better go in and get this thing over with. Thank you for distracting me, Emma. It helped.'
'You don't need to thank me, Regina. And if you want, you can text me again when you're done at the doctors. I'd be happy to distract you or listen or whatever you need.'
How the hell had she managed to stumble upon the kindest, most pure woman on earth? And in a train of all places! Emma was starting to represent some kind of angel more and more.
'I don't know what I'd do without you. I honestly don't.' Regina didn't care whether it was too much. It was how she felt. Slowly, but steadily, Emma was turning into an anchor she could clutch onto in stormy weather. A lighthouse that guided her when the waves roared around her.
Regina went inside to get her doctor's appointment over with. It went well. She only gagged four times and felt squeamish six. But she did it. And that was the most important thing.
When she got out of the consultation room and checked her phone again, she found a new message waiting for her. But this time it was not from Emma.
'My newest employee is smiling again. Goofily, even. Of course I cannot be certain that it is because of you, but I suspect that it is. That twinkle in her eyes says everything. I thank you. Now I don't have to be worried about her anymore.'
Nothing escaped Malena Drake's attention. She was an observer. Always had been. Regina smiled a little to herself as she texted her oldest friend: 'no, you don't. If things work out the way I want them to, she will be smiling every day.'
She intended to keep that promise. There had been enough misery. Now was the time for smiling. And for trying again…...
To Be Continued…