tw: this chapter was based on quite a harrowing episode of House, which consisted of an ill mother pretty much killing her baby. I've tried to lighten it slightly with the description of the case and the focus isn't directly on it, but it might still be a little much for some people so feel free to skip it and PM me for a brief synopsis!

…

It had been an entire week. A week of Chase working in two departments, and a week of Talia trying to figure out the best way to tell him about Ryan. A week of Cameron giving Talia little looks, a week of Foreman squinting over at Talia whenever she started disassociating during their differentials. A week of House being…well, House.

This morning, Chase had managed to catch a case in the NICU and had passed it on for the team to see. Talia was already weary of it, based on the fact that it was another dying baby, and she wasn't about to do that to herself - not again. So she took the time to work through her clinic hours instead whilst the team took it.

And, unlike her father, she actually enjoyed clinic duty.

"So, let me get this straight Mr Sarko," Talia blinked to the petrified looking middle-aged man seated in front of her, "you woke up from a nap with your eyelids and forehead 'dangerously pale'…and you were 'woozy and lightheaded'?"

"Correct," Mr Sarko confirmed, tightening his watch strap nervously. "Oh god. You think there's something wrong with me, don't you-"

"Not physically," Talia murmured under her breath. She cleared her throat and continued speaking. "Was it warm outside? Like, when you fell asleep?"

"It was pretty sunny, yeah," Mr Sarko answered as his dark bushy eyebrows furrowed together.

"Uh huh. And did you happen to fall asleep with your arm on your forehead?" Talia continued to guess, reaching over to her desk to grab the little mirror.

"I…I did! Do you think I applied too much pressure onto my forehead, which is why I woke up with a headache?" Mr Sarko gasped, his beady eyes growing wide in sheer panic.

"Possibly. It also explains why you also woke up light headed," Talia nodded as she held up the mirror. "Alright, Mr Sarko, if you could just lift your arm up for me just as you did when you fell asleep?" Mr Sarko nodded and did as he was told, holding it to his forehead just as he did before falling asleep. And immediately, he saw what he had done. The lower half of his face was raw red, and so was the inside of his arm. He'd shielded the sun from his forehead when he'd fallen asleep in his garden, and as a result had exposed the rest of his skin to the rays - hence the half and half look.

So basically…he was sunburnt.

"Oh," Mr Sarko blushed awkwardly. "Now I feel dumb. The hubby is gonna love this one-"

"Oh stop, it's easy to panic over this stuff Mr Sarko," Talia giggled as she pulled out her prescription pad and scribbled something down. "I think you got a bit of heatstroke with it, too. So take this cream, pop it on twice a day for the next five days and try and stay indoors for that long, despite the sun being out. Stay hydrated too, so you can make up for some of that lost coolness…and you'll be fine. It'll even up eventually. All good?"

"Yeah! Thanks, Doc," Mr Sarko breathed a sigh of relief as he shoved on his jacket. "And thank you for not making me feel dumb. Ya know, when they said I had 'Dr T. House' I thought it was this awful man I saw a few months back, he's like big and tall and frankly an ass-"

"KNOCK KNOCK!" came House's loud voice, as the door suddenly swung open and his head poked through intrusively. Mr Sarko went pale as a sheet as if he'd seen a ghost, and Talia couldn't help but let out another giggle.

"Speak of the devil," she whispered to Mr Sarko, ripping off the prescription and placing it into his palm. "Anything else?"

"N-nope! Thanks for everything again, Doc," he rambled out as he ducked his head and quickly hurried out of the room. House squinted at him as he left before turning back to Talia again.

"Hello, House. How's the case?" Talia asked casually, spraying the bench and wiping it down for the next patient.

"You say case, I say Chase," House hummed back, leaning on his cane. Talia looked up so quickly that her neck almost clicked.

"Oh god, is he okay?" she rushed out, already feeling her stomach twist in anxiety, which seemed to happen more and more these days.

"Have you two broken up?" House asked bluntly.

Plot twist.

"Huh?"

"Well you seems dead behind the eyes these days and he…well, why did he move to NICU?"

"You haven't asked him yourself? A bit weird for you," Talia gave a little laugh in disbelief.

"Oh no I have - I just think he's lying," House blinked simply.

"Well of course you do. No, we haven't broken up, we're fine," Talia hummed back, now unsurprised. She bent in front of the computer to see who her next patient was. "Well, House…not like this hasn't been fun-"

"You sure you don't wanna be on this case too? It could be funnnn?" House offered up, playfully nudging her rib.

"Young first time mother seizes in the bathtub and nearly drowns her newborn son? Have you forgotten what my first month in this place was like?" Talia put it bluntly, stunned that he'd become so oblivious. House gritted his teeth before nodding.

"Ah fair point. It's been fun!" House hooted, slipping back out of the room again.

"Wait, how's the baby doing?!" Talia rushed out before he could completely disappear.

But of course - he'd already gone.

…

Talia sat in the canteen a few hours later, unenthusiastically spooning the tomato soup into her mouth whilst scrolling aimlessly on her phone. "Hey, you," came a heavy sigh from somewhere above her. She nudged head up to see Cameron settling herself opposite her with a grimace.

"Hey," Talia smiled, making some space for her. "How's the case?"

"Not bad…we put the mom in a temporary coma…we think her seizures were either to do with alcoholism or stress," Cameron explained comfortingly.

"Makes sense to me," Talia breathed in relief. "Is Robert doing okay?"

"He's fine," Cameron nodded, leaning her head on her hand. "A little tired - but fine nevertheless. He said he was meant to come and check in on you but-"

"Check in on me? I'm doing clinic duty for goodness sake, I'm fine! I should be the one doing check ins on him," Talia groaned, feeling utterly helpless already. Cameron shot her the smallest of understanding smiles.

"Have you…have you told him about…you know-"

"No, I haven't - have you?!"

"Me? No, why would I?" Cameron scoffed back, a little offended. Talia shrugged and continued to chew the inside of her cheek as she unenthusiastically stirred her soup. "Talia…I'm not invalidating your experiences or anything, but how do you know it was him on that call? How can you be so sure?"

"I heard his voice," Talia stated simply, causing Cameron to sigh in defeat. "It was him. He called me on a private number…and asked if I thought I could get rid of him…then just hung up." Talia could tell that Cameron was desperately struggling to find the right words to say as the colour slipped from her cheeks. "Yup. Exactly."

"W-what did he mean by 'getting rid of him'?" Cameron pushed on, clasping her hands together over, and over, and over again. "What…what did you do?"

"Well he was my abuser for years - so naturally, I did what I had to do to stop him from killing me. I hit him in self defence - then just kept going. The bastard survived," Talia muttered carelessly before glancing down at her watch. "Alright, shift's over. You ready to go?"

"Yeah! Yeah let's do that," Cameron nodded with a forced smile as she stood to her feet. Talia's words were floating on the forefront of her mind and she was freaking out. "We'll just pass by the mama and make sure she's all good before we head home."

Mistake.

As they passed by the mother's ward, Talia peered in first. But what she saw caused her to release the sharpest gasp of her life. There she was, bent over her newborn son, smothering him with a pillow. "CAMERON!" she yelled as she skidded in to pull the mother off her baby. Cameron ran in with Foreman right beside her and they both prised the struggling mother off, whilst Talia held the newborn in shock, unsure what to say or how to feel.

Her body ran cold.

She knew what to do, though. CPR - even though her own heart was beating so hard that it felt as if it was about to burst.

"Come on honey, come on, stay with me, stay with me!" Talia panted between each sharp breath as she started to get a little light headed herself.

But it wasn't working.

"WE NEED A CRASH CART IN HERE!"

…

A few minutes later, Talia was sat in House's office with tears trickling down her face and her trembling fingers pressed together. Despite all the counselling and help she got after her son's death, it wasn't working. What had just happened was enough to send her into a downwards spiral, to unlearn all those healing techniques. She knew the team were discussing things around her, but couldn't figure out what they were because her mind wasn't even allowing her to connect. Chase wasn't in the office, and he was the only person she wanted to see now. All she could do was wait and see if they had managed to save the baby. She knew it wasn't the mother's fault, because she was clearly sick, but…it certainly wasn't the baby's either.

In her case, it was Ryan's. And that's why she couldn't feel bad for what she did to him - ever.

Before long, Chase walked into the office, interrupting Cameron and Foreman's argument. Talia looked up, and as soon as she lay eyes on him, she knew. She started shaking her head before he even said a word. "Her son just died," he announced to the group shakily, looking so broken and dazed that it set Talia's off all over again. He turned to walk back out without another word, and of course, Talia heaved herself up too.

"Um, could you get him back in here to finish the diagnosis for the very alive mother?!" House called sarcastically before she could go.

"Bite me," she muttered before fully exiting the room, making House knock his head back in exasperation. Talia knew she'd be able to find Chase in the NICU. He was sat on a bench outside the wards with his head buried in his hands. "Chase," she murmured, kneeling down in front him. He wasn't crying yet, but he was certainly close. His face was…hollow. "God, look at you. I've never seen you like this before," Talia sniffed, trying to hold herself together.

"I should've given him more poly-" Chase began to croak out.

"Chase, his mother was trying to kill him," Talia whispered in comfort, placing a hand on the side of his quivering jaw. "He was never safe for as long as he was in that room. He's s-safe now." But Chase's watery eyes fluttered up to meet hers, and he shook his head helplessly.

"I still could've saved him."

"Robert, the first thing you taught me here was that this is the part of the job that sucks, right?" Talia reminded him, tipping his head up so that they were facing each other fully. Chase gave a reluctant nod, chewing on the inside of his lip to keep back his tears. "Exactly. This is it. A 'sucky part'. And when we get home we can cry, but for now, you have to biopsy that baby to see…to see what he had because we know his mama will have the same thing, yes?" Chase's jaw tightened and he nodded, but he didn't look away from Talia once. He seemed confused. "What…? What are you thinking?" Talia uttered nervously, feeling herself grow anxious.

"How are you so strong? You haven't been right over the last week, now you've literally walked in to see…what I can only imagine is your worst nightmare? You literally had to give CPR to a newborn baby boy. Is that not…hurting?" Chase pointed out.

Well, it was a fair point.

"Yes it is," Talia nodded fairly, "but it was also clear that the woman wasn't very well. And I also know how it feels to…not be very well. Honestly, a big part of me is just trying to hold it together for you." Chase felt even worse then, and Talia could see that her words were having the opposite effect on him. "But not in a way that's a hinderance to myself! Chase, I'll be fine. I just wanna make sure that you're fine too. Remember? That was always my thing from when you picked up these extra shifts?"

"I know. I'm sorry," he sniffed. Talia gave him a sad smile of understanding and pressed a kiss to his forehead before bringing his head into her shoulder for a few moments, giving him some time to gather himself together again by just wallowing in his sadness for a while. When his sniffles had finally quietened down, she kissed his temple one more time.

"I love you, idiot," she murmured against his skin. "Go do the biopsy."

That evening, after finding out that Cara the patient had Celiac Disease and was refusing treatment, Talia decided to visit her before heading home. She told Chase that she'd meet him in the car, seeing that he was now completely done for, and he tiredly agreed whilst Talia headed into the ward. To her surprise, House was also stood in there too - and he looked exasperated.

"If you're here to convince me to get the treatment too, you're wasting your time," Cara muttered to Talia coldly from where she lay staring at the ceiling. There were even still dried remains of tears that had streamed down her flushed cheeks all day.

"I'm not," Talia stated quietly, settling herself down beside the bed. "I actually came here to check on you." Cara let out a sceptical scoff and turned her head away from her.

"Why would you care?" she muttered, whilst House had a look on his face reading the same thing.

"Because you're still a patient," Talia answered calmly, crossing one leg over the other. "I can't just switch off and stop caring, especially when you're definitely not better yet."

"I don't wanna get better, which means I'm no longer your responsibility. I want to die," Cara stated obviously. "I want to die so that I can go and apologise to my son." House rolled his eyes impatiently whilst Talia ran her tongue over her teeth and carefully said nothing. She just soaked in her words as Cara squinted at her, frowning instead.

Then her face completely fell.

"Oh god. You're the doctor that came in and took him from me. You actually saw me…murder my baby." The first tears started to leak from Cara's eyes, and all Talia could do was sit there and watch her.

She was almost…fascinated - and that worried her.

She was behaving like her father. Yet, unlike her father, it wasn't for her own satisfaction - but because she was hoping other questions would be answered. Questions about herself.

"You told Dr. House that there were voices, and I believe you," Talia assured her quietly as House watched her go. "Did the voices make you do things you didn't want to?" Cara didn't reply. "Cara, you don't have to keep blaming yourself for-"

"I did it, didn't I?!" Cara snapped suddenly, turning her face to look back at her. "How would you feel if your baby was dead because of you?" House leant up against the wall as Cara stared Talia down venomously, daring her to answer.

Talia didn't know how to answer.

"I…uh…lost a baby boy too," she eventually croaked out as her eyes glossed over with tears. She couldn't help it. "I don't know if you could say it was my fault, but the guilt still hurts. The guilt…follows m-me." Cara was sobbing uncontrollably now, and House couldn't tear his eyes from both the women in front of him.

Something about Talia's disposition wasn't right. And he was slowly putting pieces together.

"H-how do you make the pain go away?" Cara cried, raising a wired hand to her face to scrub away the painfully flowing tears. "I could never ask my husband t-t-to forgive me-"

"The first thing you have to do is forgive yourself," Talia informed her, reaching across to help wipe Cara's tears for her. "Your husband might forgive you with time, but then he might never. But, especially now that you've knowingly shortened your lifespan, you just have to…be at peace."

"How?" Cara cried, staring right at her for answers. Talia bit down on her jaw and shook her head helplessly.

"I….I don't know," she admitted as her tears began to run as well, and the two of them sat there in silence, crying, and mourning for their lost sons.

All House could do was watch.

Once Talia had left Cara and house alone again and swapped her doctor's jacket for her suede one to meet Chase, the first thing he noticed were her rimmed red eyes and her raw red nose. "Oh god," he sighed sadly, giving her a hug as soon as she sat herself in the passengers seat. She let out a shameful sniff. "It get a bit too much for you?" Chase winced, before pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"Yeah, but I knew it would," Talia shrugged it off as she lifted her head. "I just…I feel so bad for her." Chase's head jerked back in surprise.

"You do?"

"I really do," she murmured, wiping her eyes with a harsh sniff and breaking their hug. "She has to live the rest of her life in pain, knowing she could die at any moment whilst feeling the suffocating guilt of suffocating her only child. That is not a good way to bow out of this world. I wish I could ease her pain but I can't." Chase nodded and pushed her hair out of her eyes, looking her up and down in thought.

"You're right. That…that does suck."

"It does… how are you feeling?" Talia asked him instead, taking his hand in hers and pressing a sweet kiss into his soft palm.

"Ah…put it this way. I don't feel good about doing it, but I'll take that half and half offer that you suggested," Chase replied, lowering his head slightly in what seemed to be embarrassment. Talia let out a sympathetic giggle before planting a soft kiss onto his unsuspecting lips.

"Whenever will you finally learn and accept that I know best?" she tutted playfully. Chase chuckled and rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to starting the car.

"I'm learning as we speak." Talia started giggling again as he started the journey home - and then her phone vibrated in her lap. Her heart raced first before her senses kicked in and told her it could be anyone, so she held her breath and glanced at the screen.

Luckily, it was House texting her. But his message alone made her mouth run dry.

'TELL HIM HE'S BACK - BEFORE THE BASTARD DOES IT HIMSELF.'

…

Can't wait for you guys to read the next chapter - I really wanted to incorporate this episode because of the baby saga and how it's essential to Talia's character arc! Love you guys, hope you're having a good 2021 thus far.