Desideratum

Chapter 32

The faint, warm light from the lamp-post across the street and the darkened sky washed over them as they sat on the porch that night, a bottle of wine and two half-full glasses beside them. A gentle breeze blew, bringing along the fresh scent of damp soil, the sound of raindrops falling from the sky and the trees swaying to nature's will.

As the light danced over her face, Luka reached out to trace his knuckles over her smooth cheek, causing amber eyes to search his, pleasantly surprised.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, almost reverently.

Marinette shook her head, a wide smile spreading on her lips. "I can't believe you," she said, amused.

Luka grinned. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to hers, loving the way she responded as her small hand came to rest on his collarbone. He grasped her hips and pulled her closer, and she smiled into their kiss. His too large jacket slipped from her shoulders, making her shiver as his hands ran up her back, under her shirt, and caressed her bare skin on their way to tangle in her wind-blown hair.

A low beep interrupted them. Marinette recognized the sound in an instant, and pulled away in spite of his whine, reaching for her phone. "Now what?" Luka asked, nearly pouting.

She snuck one look at him and then rolled her eyes. "E-mail," she answered simply.

He groaned, pried her hands off the phone, and pulled her back into a kiss. "Forget about work," he muttered against her lips. And she would have —she would have lost herself into the warmth and protection of his arms—had it not been for her phone beeping again from where he had tossed it beside them.

She laughed silently when he muttered, "I knew I should have hidden it when I had the chance and never given it back."

"Important project," she supplied and stood up, taking her phone with her as she made her way back inside the house.

With a sigh, Luka picked up the rest of their belongings and stood, following her inside. "Which you can work on, you know—at work," he commented as he headed for the kitchen. She had been gone all day and Cadence had been a handful and he had been looking forward to a couple of hours of peace and quiet and her. He had never quite realized just how little time they actually spent together until he once again felt entitled to have her by his side every waking moment—and then some.

She turned to throw him a flat look before entering the living room. "Smartass," she called. "Unfortunately, this is a full-time job."

He frowned at her choice of words and, after placing the bottle of wine and their glasses on the counter, made to follow her, coming to a stop before the coffee table. "I thought you liked what you did."

She looked up from where she was rummaging through her bag. "I do," she declared. She seemed surprised, but honest. "But working with large companies requires dedication… which I don't entirely have."

As he watched her settle on the overstuffed couch to send her own e-mail, he concluded it was logical. Marinette had gone to college because she had wanted to study, and she had chosen something she enjoyed. But at this point in her life, what mattered most was Cadence.

"So… why work with large companies?" he ventured.

Her answer didn't surprise him. "Because I wanted Cadence to have everything."

"He has now," he immediately said, taking a step closer. "Give it up."

Marinette huffed an amused breath as she placed her phone on the table and shuffled in his direction, sitting on her knees on the couch to place a kiss to his cheek. Even then, he had to bend his head. "It's not that easy," she told him.

"Yes, it is," he insisted, taking her hands in his. "You don't need this job anymore. You can find another one—something you'll really love-go back to fashion design."

She watched him, amber eyes searching his cyan ones. For a moment, he was under the impression that she was contemplating what he had told her. Then she shook her head and sat back on her heels. "I'm not sure how I feel about the idea of being completely dependent on you again," she confessed.

It was as though she had slapped him. "You don't trust me."

She shook her head. "We've been through this, Luka. As much as I tell myself that everything will be alright, there's something in me that just doesn't want to let go yet. I can't give up everything so easily. You can't possibly expect me to."

Luka heaved a sigh and sat down on the coffee table, facing her. "Marinette, I—"

"This isn't just about Cadence, Luka," she told him. "It's about me, too. It's about the fact that I based my entire life on our relationship and then it was gone and like the ground had been ripped out from under my feet. That's why I'm being so… dramatic. I know you're ready to embrace this and embrace our relationship and have things be as they were and I'm not saying our divorce didn't hurt you, too, but…" Pausing for a moment, she let out a steady breath. "Try to be a bit more understanding, because if you can't and if you think, even for a second, that it isn't going to work, then we should leave it at this." With that, she made a move to stand up, but his hand clasped on her wrist and stopped her.

"No," he said, nodding. "No, I see. I understand. I guess…" He swallowed. "It's legit. I will make you trust us again."

"That's something we will both have to work on," she assured him, leaning forward to reach out to him and rest her hands on the base of his neck. "But… I'm willing to take his chance, but… don't hurt me again," she whispered, her scared eyes begging him to listen, to understand, to agree. "There are so many things on the line now, Luka…"

"Marinette…"

"If I leave you again… I don't know if I'll be able to handle it. And I don't know how Cadence will cope with that—how he will cope with your absence. I —"

"Shh," he hushed her, turning his head and kissing her palms, before cradling her face in his hands. His eyes were warm and steady as he spoke. "Stop worrying about that. Stop, because you're only wasting your energy. It won't happen. I won't make the same mistake twice. I love you, and I need you, and I'm going to keep you in my life, because that's where you belong—where you've always belonged."

"I'm scared," she whispered. "I'm scared we're going to turn back into what we were."

"We won't," he told her firmly. "We're not like that anymore."

"We weren't like that when we got married, either."

Luka shook his head. "Marinette, relax. We made a promise. Remember?"

She nodded.

"We've been living together for months. And it may be different, but we'll be fine. We know what we did wrong, we solved our problems. We're better persons now. It is possible that it may take an additional effort, but we can do this. Alright?"

She gave one more nod, and he gently kissed her forehead.

"I want you to think about what I said," he whispered, gazing down at her. "I want you to think about quitting."

Marinette shifted uncomfortably. "Luka, I…"

"Think about it. I'm not trying to make you give up your job because I can kiss you now and I want you all to myself. I want you to be happy. And besides… all the time you waste now doing something you don't completely enjoy, you can spend with Cadence." Pausing, he allowed a gentle smirk to spread on his face. "With me."

She smirked at his suggestion and wrapped her arms around his neck. "With you," she repeated.

"With me," he confirmed in a whisper, before pressing his lips to hers in a passionate kiss.