"In sameness, there is peace. Exceptionalism is a lie."
A couple hours ago, the Mane Six and Deadpool had their cutie marks stolen by the leader of the village they were visiting, Starlight Glimmer. Ever since then, everyone but Deadpool was brought to one of the village's houses, where they were imprisoned inside of. The house only had one room, and there were only two things in the room, a single bed and a single shelf with nine books on it. Overall, the house was very bland. Two of the village's residents stood outside with the door locked to ensure no one would escape. Their imprisonment was made worse by the presence of a PA system integrated into the room. Four loudspeakers, one in each corner of the room, played recordings to try to convert the heroes to Starlight's ways. Rainbow Dash tried her best to get herself and her friends out by ramming against the locked door, but it wouldn't budge.
"Free yourself from your cutie mark. Choose equality as your specialty. Difference is frustration. To excel is to fail."
"Hey, this is pretty good!"
Pinkie Pie was looking through one of the books. The only thing described in it was a single large equal sign on each page.
"Be your best, by never being your best."
"Ugh, we've gotta find a way out of here. I can't take much more of that voice! If only Wade were here. He could probably help us out of here. I hope he's alright," Said Twilight.
"I'm sure wherever they have him he's alright, Twilight," Assured Rarity.
"Let me go!"
From behind the door, a muffled voice could be heard shouting. Suddenly, the door burst open. A group of twelve ponies came walking in, carrying Deadpool. He was stripped from his suit, revealing his scarred skin, and he was bound in a straitjacket. Even within this restraint and held by his captors, he was thrashing in their grasp, putting up a good fight.
"Let me go! If you know what's good for all of you, you will release me, so I can go fight that dick dictator and get all of our cutie marks back!"
Once Deadpool was directed to the back of the room, the ponies let him go and all of them ran out the door, locking it behind them. Upon seeing her coltfriend, Twilight ran up to him and hugged him.
"Wade, thank goodness you're here! What did they do to you?!" Asked Twilight concernedly.
"After we all had our cutie marks removed, I was brought to Starlight's place while you were all brought here. There, I was stripped of my tights because it was unique, and then I was put into this hug-me jacket because I put up a fight. I want to say for the record that it took twelve ponies to contain me!" Shouted Deadpool towards the door.
"I'm glad that they didn't do anything else to you," Said Twilight.
"Wait, your cutie mark was removed, right? How was she able to do that? Wouldn't your healing factor have brought it back?" Asked Rainbow Dash.
"When it comes to bodily harm, my healing factor can heal just about anything. It can even give me varying degrees of telepathic immunity because my brain's always in a state of flux. When it comes to magic, however, that's where things get iffy. Assuming my healing factor could restore my cutie mark, I assume that the staff Starlight Glimmer used on us has more powerful magic than we anticipated," explained Deadpool.
"Then we really need to get out of here," Said Twilight.
"Assumin' we can get out," Said Applejack.
"Being imprisoned here won't be so bad. I mean, I'm stuck in here with you," Said Deadpool to Twilight.
"Oh? When you put it like that, then it isn't so bad," Said Twilight lovingly.
Twilight and Deadpool kissed each other on the lips. Seeing this act of affection caused Rainbow Dash to sigh out of exasperation.
"Great, as if being trapped in here with that PA system wasn't torturous enough," Said Rainbow under her breath.
"Oh, don't act like that, Dashie."
To Rainbow Dash's surprise, Deadpool was standing on his hind legs next to her.
"You know that I know you are secretly enjoying yourself to a certain degree," Said Deadpool.
"What do you mean?" Asked Rainbow.
"Like Twilight and I, you like being here with somepony you like, except that you haven't admitted your feelings to, oh, I don't know, a certain farm hand with a southern drawl who wears a stetson hat," Said Deadpool quietly.
Faster then he could react, Deadpool was tackled into the wall closest to the door by Rainbow Dash, and she covered his mouth with her hoof.
"Shut up! I don't know what you are talking about!" Said Rainbow, her cheeks bright red.
Deadpool made intelligible words, attempting to speak with Rainbow's hoof over his mouth. She reluctantly removed her hoof to allow him to speak.
"Rainbow Dash, you and I both know you have a thing for Applejack. You both have similar personalities, you enjoy her company, and even though you can get on each other's nerves, especially when you get competitive with each other, you still enjoy having her as a friend. And whenever we're all at Sweet Apple Acres, don't think I haven't ever noticed you 'watching her work'," Said Deadpool.
"... I… Leave me alone, Wade," Said Rainbow.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have teased you. I'm glad that you have feelings for Applejack. You're a grown mare, so I won't tell you what you should do, but do me a favor and just consider telling her how you feel, okay?"
Rainbow Dash thought over what Deadpool asked of her. Before she could give him an answer, she was interrupted by Applejack.
"What are y'all talkin' about over there?" Asked Applejack.
"We were debating on which one of us is going to beat Starlight and save the village when we get out of here," Answered Deadpool.
He winked at Rainbow Dash. She then nodded her head in reply.
"Well, if any pony's takin' her down, it's me!" Said Applejack determinedly.
"I wouldn't get ahead of yourselves. We still need to find a way out of here," Said Twilight.
"Oh, this is horrible!" Cried Rarity, mascara stained tears flowing down her face.
"There, there, Rarity. It's not so bad," Said Fluttershy comfortingly.
"Yes, it is! Look at those drapes! I have no idea if they're tacky or not!"
"Well, I think they're nice."
The equal sign cutie mark on Rarity's flank pulsed black, spreading dark magic deep into her consciousness.
"So do I!"
As Rarity cried a river's worth of tears, Fluttershy backed up to give her some space. The sound of a bird chirping caught her attention. She saw a cardinal land on the open window sill. Granted there was not enough space for any of them to escape through the window, but with a bird being able to get in, she could communicate with it to hatch an escape plan.
(Hatch an escape plan with the bird? That was so funny, author, that I forgot to laugh.)
"Oh, thank goodness! Can you help us, little birdie?"
As Fluttershy tried to communicate with the cardinal, her equal sign cutie mark pulsed like Rarity's.
"Go on, now! Fly away and get us help!" Said Fluttershy.
The cardinal titled its head in confusion before flying away.
"Oh, even tweets don't make sense any more!" Said Fluttershy.
"Don't worry, Fluttershy, tweets usually don't make sense. I mean, people always post stuff about their dogs, or memes, or-" Just like with his friends, the equal sign cutie mark on Deadpool's flank pulsed with dark magic. "On second thought, maybe I should lay off the jokes for a little while. I could discuss current events instead… WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY?!" Cried Deadpool.
Applejack ran towards the door and tried to kick it down, but she ended up falling over onto her face.
"Well, this door's shut tighter than a… summer of… uh, piglets in… shoot! I can't even make countryisms no more!" Said Applejack.
"I don't know! Maybe it'll be super fun to be all the same!"
As soon as her equal sign cutie mark pulsed, Pinkie Pie wound down.
"Sort of. More pleasant than fun, I guess…"
"There's something odd about that staff. I haven't studied eastern unicorns as much as I should have, but I'm pretty sure Meadowbrook only had eight magical items, not nine. And I don't remember any of them being a staff," Said Twilight.
"Well, it looks like you'll have plenty of time to try to think about it," Said Applejack.
The next day…
For the past several hours, Twilight tried to come up with a plan to escape. As she was hatching a plan, Deadpool and Rainbow Dash decided to try to make their imprisonment more pleasant by trying to remove the loudspeakers from the corners of the room. With Rainbow Dash flying him up, Deadpool used his hind legs to kick the loudspeakers down. It was surprisingly going well. They managed to remove all but one of the loudspeakers in the room. Deadpool was currently kicking the last loudspeaker. It sustained major damage, but it still hung on the wall and was playing audio.
"This one's not budging. Try pulling it off the wall, RD."
Putting Deadpool onto the floor, Rainbow Dash flew up to the loudspeaker and tried to pull it out, but to no avail.
"This one's in there real good," Said Rainbow.
"Hmm… Oh, I know! Throw me!" Said Deadpool.
"What?"
"We've been only using our legs and hooves to remove it. If I hit it with all of my body weight, it would remove it for sure."
(Your logic astounds me.)
"I don't know," Said Rainbow.
"Come on, Rainbow Dash. Do you really want to listen to that for who-knows how long?"
"Accept your limitations, and happiness will follow."
"Okay, fine. But you asked for it."
Rainbow Dash grabbed Deadpool by the shoulders, and spun him around. Once he had enough momentum, she threw him towards the loudspeaker.
THUD!
CRASH!
"Oh my!" Cried Fluttershy and Rarity.
Deadpool smacked his chest against the loudspeaker while his face slammed against the ceiling. He then fell onto the stone floor on his back, nearly landing on top of Rarity. The loudspeaker then came loose, and fell on his head.
"Well, at least we no longer have to listen to that PA system, except for the occasional static!" Said Pinkie.
"Worth it…" Said Deadpool painfully.
"For Pete's sake, Wade! How many times have I told you not to solve your problems by hurting yourself?!" Asked Twilight rhetorically.
"Twenty-six times. But pulling a quote from my philosophy, 'no pain, no gain."
"You really need to work on your philosophy… (Gasp) That's it! Wade, you illogical genius!"
Twilight passionately kissed Deadpool on the cheek, causing him to blush profusely while grinning with glee.
"I'm a genius!"
"Wait, why's Wade a genius?" Asked Rarity.
"Yeah, 'Wade' and 'genius' don't normally go in the same sentence," Added Rainbow.
"I take a lot of offense to that statement! I'm up there with Albert Einstein and Issac Newton as one of the greatest minds in history!" Proclaimed Deadpool.
"He's a genius because he helped me figure out how we can get out of here!" Said Twilight.
"Forget it, Twilight. This door's not opening," Said Rainbow.
"And I'm afraid the windows are much too small for escape," Added Rarity.
"But there is a third way," Said Twilight.
"Of course!" Cried Pinkie. "We can get through the windows by cutting up Wade into itty-bitty pieces, toss them out, and wait for his healing factor to kick in! Then once he regenerates, all he has to do is knock out the guards and open the door! It's the perfect plan!"
The equal sign cutie mark on Pinkie's flank pulsed again.
"I guess," Muttered Pinkie.
"Actually, that doesn't sound like a bad idea," Said Applejack.
"Hold on a minute! Can we take a second to peer-review this 'perfect plan' before we even think about carrying it out?!" Asked Deadpool frantically.
"We do NOT need to cut up my coltfriend!" Said Twilight sternly.
"We don't?" Asked Pinkie.
"For shit's sake, Pinke! I thought you were my BFF!" Said Deadpool.
"We don't actually have to escape. They'll just let us out when they think we've accepted their philosophy," Explained Twilight.
"But they're never gonna believe we switched over in just one night. Especially Rainbow Dash and Deadpool when they find that they tore down the PA," Countered Applejack.
"There's one of us they might believe,"
Twilight directed her friends' attention towards Fluttershy. Catching on, they all smiled towards her.
"Oh! Me?!" Asked Fluttershy timidly.
"You've been saying how great this place is since we got here!" Said Rainbow.
"But that's because everypony's so nice, and their village is so pretty, and, and… Oh, you're right. They probably would believe me. I hate to lie to them. They've been so welcoming and friendly… aside from locking us in here and trying to brainwash us into abandoning the things that make us special… Okay, I'll do it!," Said Fluttershy determinedly.
"Woo-hoo! I mean, cool," Said Pinkie.
"But what do I do once I'm out?" Asked Fluttershy.
"You've gotta find a way to get our cutie marks back," Said Twilight.
With the pressure to reclaim their cutie marks, Fluttershy gulped out of nervousness.
"And in case it doesn't work out, we'll cut up Wade as a back-up plan," Said Pinkie.
"Oh, come on!"
CREAK!
Suddenly, the door creaked open, revealing Starlight Glimmer on the other side.
"Good morning! I trust you had a pleasant night?" Starlight received no response. The group of ponies she held hostage refused to say a word. "This way, please. There are some friends who'd like to see you."
Not given much of a choice, they followed Starlight outside the house. Deadpool awkwardly walked on his hind legs, due to his arms being restrained from the straitjacket he was confined in. Once they were outside, they saw all of the villagers waiting to greet them.
"Gather round, friends, gather round! We've come to ask if any of you are ready to join us?! There are so many friends to be made once you realize you don't need your cutie marks or the talents that come with them," Said Starlight.
Everyone but Fluttershy glared at Starlight. Double Diamond decided to chime in.
"We have a welcome ceremony for new friends! The whole village joins together to build you your own cottage-"
"Not interested! You may have them now, but we're going to get our cutie marks back!" Said Rainbow determinedly.
"Y'all don't understand, do ya? You can't force nopony to be friends! It don't work like that!" Said Applejack.
"Yeah, and most people don't become your friend when their first impression is being restrained in a hug-me jacket!" Added Deadpool.
"I'm sorry, Wade, but this is necessary for the moment. You have to wear that straitjacket not only for our safety but also yours as well. At least until you start acting friendlier," Said Starlight.
"How about you loosen the sleeves a bit, and I can show you how friendly I can be?"
"(Scoffs) I'm not going to fall for any of your tricks." Brushing Deadpool's threat off, Starlight Glimmer directed her attention back to the villagers. "It's all right, everypony. This is a perfectly normal part of the equalization process for those who haven't… quite seen the light yet. We'll try again tomorrow once you've had a bit more time to consider our philosophy."
Two villagers directed the heroes back into the house. Twilight stopped in the doorway to nudge Fluttershy, signalling her to commence their plan.
"I'd like to join!"
The crowd of villagers cheered after hearing her say that she wanted to join them.
"Fluttershy? How could you?!" Asked Twilight.
"If giving up my cutie mark means I get to stay in this lovely village with these lovely ponies, then I'll do it," Said Fluttershy.
With a satisfied smile, Starlight Glimmer had Twilight go into the house with the rest of her friends, then shut the door.
"We have a new friend, everypony!" Cried Starlight.
The villagers gathered around Fluttershy, buzzing with excitement over her joining the village. She couldn't help but smile at their excitement.
"Now, there's one more order of business. It seems some in our midst might be… dissatisfied with the village life!" Said Starlight.
GASP!
"Unfortunately, it's all too true, my friends!" With a wicked grin, Starlight turned to Fluttershy. "Will you kindly tell us the names of those friends who so desperately miss their cutie marks that they would sneak around in the shadows talking to strangers about it? Just so we can be sure that your intentions are indeed pure."
Caught in a sticky situation, Fluttershy gulped out of nervousness.
"Um, I don't know who they were. Um, I'm sorry. I don't know your names and faces yet," Said Fluttershy nervously.
"Nonsense! Obviously these ponies must have asked you directly. Kindly point them out!" Said Starlight.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
The interrogation session was interrupted by the sound of knocking from the other side of the door. Starlight Glimmer opened it, revealing Deadpool sitting on his haunches on the other side.
"Hi, Starlight!" Greeted Deadpool.
"Wade? What are you doing?" Asked Starlight.
"Pardon me for overhearing, but if you want the names of the ponies who asked us to get their cutie marks back, then I will gladly tell you myself," Said Deadpool.
"Wade! What are you doing?!" Asked Twilight.
"What are you up to?" Asked Starlight.
"Me? I'm not up to anything. Look at her." Deadpool pointed to Fluttershy, who was shaking in fear. "You're gonna make the poor thing piss herself before you get any answers. I can make things easier for you by telling you directly, so long as I can be removed from this hug-me jacket in return," Explained Deadpool.
"Hmm… Fine then, I can agree to those terms. Tell me the names of the ponies you spoke with."
"I'll whisper it to you. You know, to keep them in suspense."
With a devilish grin, Starlight brought her face close to Deadpool. He leaned towards her ear, and whispered…
"It was Colonel Mustard in the ballroom with the candlestick."
"What?"
SLAM!
CRACK!
"OOOWWW!"
In under a second, Deadpool slammed his forehead against Starlight's face. The impact caused her nose to bleed. While she grabbed her nose in pain, and the villagers were panicking, Deadpool leapt onto his hind legs and ran.
(I can't believe that actually worked!)
(Gotcha bitch!)
"Not falling for any of my tricks, huh?! I am the master of tricking people! Don't worry, Twilight and friends! I will be back for y'all when I'm free of this straitjacket, and have enough plastic explosives to level a city block!"
Looking behind him, Deadpool saw that a couple pegasi were right behind him. Before he could get the chance to outpace his pursuers, he was tackled to the ground.
(Well, that failed horribly.)
(You think?)
Meanwhile, removing her hoof from her nose, Starlight Glimmer signaled the villagers to bring Deadpool back. After taking a deep breath to collect herself, she turned her attention back towards Fluttershy. With dark red blood dripping from her nose yet smiling as if it were a regular day, the kindhearted pegasus was intimidated by her.
"Fluttershy, I will only ask you this one more time. Please point to the ponies you talked with," Said Starlight.
Towards the back of what was now a small group of villagers, Sugar Belle, Party Favor, and Night Glider looked at each other nervously. Looking towards Fluttershy, who had a look of fear in her eyes, Party Favor walked up towards Starlight Glimmer with a determined look.
"It was me! It was only me! But I only wanted it back for a little while!" Said Party Favor.
"And you're quite certain it was only you?" Asked Starlight.
"I just wanted to remember what it was like."
"And no thought to the pain you'd cause your friends. Such selfishness."
Starlight Glimmer pointed towards the house trapping the Mane Six minus Fluttershy. One of the villagers guarding it opened the door. Party Favor reluctantly walked into the house. The two pegasi followed after him, unceremoniously dragging Deadpool inside. Once they left, Party Favor looked out towards his friends and the rest of the villagers.
"I'm sorry, everypony! I never wanted to leave the village! I love all of-"
SLAM!
The door was slammed in his face before he could finish his final words before imprisonment. Both Sugar Belle and Night Glider looked on sadly at the house containing him. Inside the house, Deadpool got up from the floor.
"Wade, are you okay?" Asked Twilight.
"Other than my wounded pride, I'm fine," Answered Deadpool.
"What was I thinking?! I can't believe I even considered asking for my cutie mark back," Said Party Favor glumly.
"Don't worry. Fluttershy will have us out of here in no time!" Said Rainbow.
"Didn't you just see what just happened out there?!" Asked Party Favor.
"Me breaking a dictator's nose like a badass?!" Said Deadpool.
"No! Your friend has accepted our way! You will all accept our way! It's only a matter of time!"
Party Favor walked over to the front right corner of the room, and sat down facing away from everyone else.
"This guy's a barrel of laughs," Said Rainbow sarcastically.
"Laughs don't come in barrels. They come from inside you as your body's response to delight," Said Pinkie flatly.
"Oh, shit! I don't think it will be long before Pinkie or anyone else converts to this cult's beliefs," Said Deadpool.
"So, what are we gonna do while Fluttershy's out there lookin' for our cutie marks?" Asked Applejack quietly.
"We have to stay as positive as we can. If Party Favor sees how much we really do like each other, even though we're all different, maybe we can use him to spread our message to the rest of the village," Said Twilight.
"Let's hope they don't convert any of us first," Said Rarity.
Meanwhile, Fluttershy was being escorted by Double Diamond downtown. Along the way, she was greeted by the townsponies.
"Welcome!"
"Welcome!"
"Welcome!"
"Gosh, you really are the nicest ponies I've ever met," Said Fluttershy.
"All new friends stay with Starlight until their cottage is completed. She would normally tell you this herself, but, well, you saw why she is currently preoccupied," Said Double Diamond.
"Mm-hmm. When Wade uses his head, it's often in the literal sense. I'm sorry for what he did to her."
"It's alright. As she said earlier, actions such as his are a normal part of the equalization process. Let's get you settled, and then you can enjoy all that our little village has to offer."
Later that evening…
All was quiet in the village. With Princess Luna's moon up in the night sky, all had gone to sleep for the evening. At Starlight's cottage, soot burst out from the stone chimney. Fluttershy popped out of the chimney, her pale yellow coat and pale pink mane coated in various spots with soot. She coughed, replacing the vile stuff with oxygen. She then shook the soot on her body off, creating a cloud that very quickly dissipated.
"(Sighs) Get the cutie marks back. That's all you've gotta do, Fluttershy. Just sneak through the dark up to that spooky old cave with the scary magical staff and get the cutie marks back."
Fluttershy nervously flew off towards the cave. After a few minutes of flying, she flew down and landed on the ground. With the night sky providing very little light, she was careful with every step she took.
"Okay, you're doing great. The cave's gotta be close now…"
In that instant, realization hit Fluttershy in the face. She didn't get very far as she thought she did. In fact, she had only traveled about a meter away from the chimney she escaped from.
"Excellent work, Double Diamond,"
Freezing up in fear, Fluttershy recognized the voice she heard as Starlight's. With as much courage as she could muster, she cautiously looked over the roof she was standing on. Down below, she saw Starlight Glimmer standing in the doorway. As a humiliating reminder of early events, she wore a medical bandage with some gauze over her nose. Standing in front of her was Double Diamond. Behind him was a wooden box containing six jars.
"Of course, but I don't understand why you wanted me to bring them here. Fluttershy is one of us now. Surely she can be trusted," Said Double Diamond.
Starlight Glimmer picked up the box with her magic, and went inside. Double Diamond followed her inside, and shut the door behind him. Knowing she needed to continue listening to the conversation, Fluttershy flew down to look through a window from the ground floor.
"This one belongs to a princess. It could be very important to our cause."
Listening to Starlight Glimmer talk, Fluttershy noticed how nasally her voice sounded; Wade did a number on her. Starlight pulled out one of the jars, containing Twilight's cutie mark. Fluttershy forced herself to not gasp in shock, fearing that she would be heard.
"But if Twilight Sparkle becomes our friend, then why do we care about this old cutie mark?" Asked Double Diamond.
"I just want to keep them close until everything is… settled. You may go, Double Diamond," Said Starlight.
Seeing Double Diamond heading towards the door, Fluttershy dashed behind a corner of the cottage. As soon as he walked out the door and he was a good distance away, she peeked through the window. She saw Starlight taking her and all of her friend's cutie marks out from the box, admiring them like trophies while carrying them towards some stairs.
"Oh, dear. How am I ever going to get the cutie marks back now?" Pondered Fluttershy.
CRASH!
"Ow!"
Hearing a commotion coming from upstairs, Fluttershy flew up to a window on the second floor to investigate. Peering through the window, she saw she was looking into Starlight's room. An empty bucket rolled over to the window, and she saw Starlight drenched in water. She deduced that she must have accidentally tripped on the bucket, getting herself wet.
"Ugh! Starlight, you clumsy foal."
Starlight set the jars containing the cutie marks down, and grabbed a pink towel. She dried herself off with the towel, then hung it over the footboard of her bed. When she turned her body to hang the towel, she unknowingly revealed something surprising. Instead of her equal sign cutie mark, on her flank was a cutie mark of a single purple star with a green glimmering trail.
With her jaw dropped, Fluttershy watched as she grabbed some lilac and black-colored makeup, a brush, and an equal sign stencil. She applied some lilac makeup over her cutie mark with the brush, then placed the stencil over the site of her cutie mark and brushed the black makeup over it. Removing the stencil, she recreated a spitting image of the equal sign cutie mark she was previously seen with.
The revelation shook Fluttershy to her core, and she gasped in shock. Hearing her gasp, Starlight dropped her stuff and rushed to the window. Reacting quickly, Flutteshy hid under the rafter tie of the roof. Starlight looked out the window, not spotting Fluttershy. Walking away from the window, she shut the light off in her room, settling in for the night. From underneath the rafter tie, Fluttershy only had two words to say.
"Oh, no…"
Meanwhile, at the house where the rest of the heroes were imprisoned in, Deadpool was lying on the floor. Twilight, Party Favor, and the rest of his friends were all asleep while he was staring at the ceiling. He looked over every detail in the room, and felt like the walls were closing in on him.
"Does this room remind you guys of anything?" Asked Deadpool to himself.
…
"Guys?"
…
"Screwball? Serious? If this is some kind of joke, you are both assholes!"
Sweat dripped down his face, and he grinded his teeth as fear took over his body. He closed his eyes for just a second, but when he opened them again, his surroundings changed. He was in a room much smaller than the one he and his friends were trapped in, there was an iron bar door in front of him, and there was only a metal toilet and a board hanging on a wall beside him. Knowing where he was, Deadpool trembled in fear.
"This is the cell I was kept in when Department K kidnapped me for the Weapon X Program! How am I back here?! Twilight! Pinkie! Anypony!
"Hello, Wade."
Hearing someone behind him, Deadpool quickly turned around. He saw a navy blue earth pony stallion behind him, and he instantly recognized him from his hoarse voice.
"Francis?! No, it can't be!"
Deadpool ran towards the cell door, and tried to remove it from the wall. To his dismay, it wouldn't give way.
"Don't worry, Wade. This will stop hurting in the morning."
Deadpool turned around, and he pressed himself against the door when Francis approached him with a sabre saw. As Francis laughed maniacally, the only thing Deadpool could do was brace himself for the pain.
"AAAAAHHHHHH!"
Deadpool leapt from the floor, screaming at the top of his lungs. This woke up everyone in the room. They jumped onto their hooves, and Twilight ran up to him.
"Wade, what's wrong?!" Asked Twilight concernedly.
"Get away from me!"
WHAM!
To everyone's shock, Deadpool pushed Twilight onto the floor with his body, and ran. He ran up to the door, and tried to bust the door down with his side. Proving futile, he then made the horrific choice of repeatedly banging his head against the door. This action caused blood to splatter around him.
"LET ME OUT OF HERE! LET ME OUT OF HERE! LET! ME! OUT!"
"Wade!"
Twilight got up from the floor, and wrapped her arms around Deadpool. He tried to shake her off, but she didn't let go. Rainbow Dash and Applejack helped her, and they all carefully sat him down. His forehead had a large gash in the centre, coating his face with blood.
"Wade, what the hay is the matter with you?!" Asked Rainbow.
"Wade, calm down! Listen to my voice!" Said Twilight.
Deadpool's breathing slowed down from rapid breathing to slow deep breathing. He looked at Twilight, then his body loosened up. Once he stopped struggling, Applejack and Rainbow Dash let him go.
"Twilight? Are you okay?" Asked Deadpool.
"I am, but I could ask the same about you," Replied Twilight.
"I'm sorry. I was just staring at the ceiling, asking myself if this place was familiar. The voices in my head didn't say anything, and then I found myself in the cell I was kept in when I got my healing factor from Weapon X. Francis was also there, and he was going to torture me like he did back then."
"Take this with a grain of salt, but you may have had a PTSD induced flashback."
"That makes sense. This healing factor of mine can heal my physical injuries." Deadpool pointed at his forehead. The gash was slowly healing itself. "But not even that can heal the emotional scars I have acquired over the years."
"I know, and I'm sorry that you went through all of that. But you're safe now. I and all of our friends are here to help you in any way we can."
Twilight and Deadpool embraced each other in a hug, while everyone else looked at the latter with sympathetic looks. As she hugged her coltfriend, Twilight only had one thought in mind.
"I hope Fluttershy has our cutie marks. I don't think Wade or any of us will last much longer."
The next day…
Starlight Glimmer, Fluttershy, and the rest of the villagers were gathered outside the house where the heroes were trapped in. They were all brought outside, and each and every one of them looked completely miserable.
"I've got a good feeling about today! So, do any of you have anything you'd like to say?" Asked Starlight Glimmer.
"I have something to say. Did you do something with your mane? There's something different about you, but I can't put my hoof on it," Said Deadpool mockingly.
Starlight Glimmer self consciously covered the bandage over her nose with a hoof. This caused Rainbow Dash and Applejack to laugh.
"For your information, Wade, this is to help heal a minor fracture you caused. You should be thankful it wasn't more serious. Let's try this again tomorrow, shall we? No new friends today, I'm afraid," Said Starlight.
"Wait! I'd like to lock them in," Said Fluttershy.
"Marvelous, Fluttershy! That's the spirit! Party Favor, will you join us please?" Asked Starlight.
As Fluttershy went to lock up her friends, Party Favor ran by her. He then eagerly hugged Starlight Glimmer.
"I'm sorry, Starlight! I'm sorry, everypony! I've seen the error of my ways! I never want to look at my cutie mark again!" Said Party Favor.
"It seems there's cause for celebration after all!" Said Starlight happily.
"Hooray!"
"They tried to break me! They wouldn't stop talking about how different they are, and that somehow makes their friendship stronger! Said Party Favor.
"Such backwards thinking on friendship," Said Starlight.
"But I didn't listen! I knew what they were up to, and I didn't listen!"
"Well done, Party Favor! We welcome you back with open hooves!"
Meanwhile, Fluttershy and the rest of her friends were gathered inside the house.
"Fluttershy, did you get our cutie marks?" Asked Twilight quietly.
"No. They're in Starlight's cottage instead of the vault," Explained Fluttershy.
"Why would she keep our cutie marks?" Asked Rainbow.
"I don't know, but I found something that will turn her followers against her. I have a plan, but I'll need Twilight and Deadpool to help me. If we can even get Deadpool out of that jacket," Said Fluttershy.
"Sure thing. I will instruct one of you on how to properly remove the straitjacket, while Fluttershy you tell us all the plan," Said Deadpool.
"You know how to get out of one of those?" Asked Rarity.
"Uh, yeah!" Answered Deadpool.
"And you couldn't have told us sooner?" Asked Rainbow.
"I could have, but I wanted to wait until the right moment to ensure our odds of escaping were high," Said Deadpool.
"What about when you tried to escape earlier?" Questioned Twilight.
"Pfft! I wasn't really trying to escape then. I just wanted to headbutt Starlight," Said Deadpool.
"I'll help ya out, Wade," Said Applejack.
"Okay, here's the plan," Said Fluttershy.
While Applejack worked on freeing Deadpool, Fluttershy revealed her plan. After briefly telling her friends of her plan, Fluttershy stepped out of the house.
"Um, Starlight? I think we might have one more friend joining us today."
Fluttershy stepped to the side, allowing Twilight to exit the house. Seeing her caused the crowd of ponies to gasp in shock.
"Is this true?" Asked Starlight.
"I-I think so. But I just want to be sure. If I agree to leave my cutie mark in the vault, I'll really be happier?" Asked Twilight.
"Just look around! Equality has given us more happiness than you've ever known!" Said Starlight.
"And you wouldn't let me just live here in the village with my old cutie mark?" Asked Twilight.
"Out of the question. A pony with a different cutie mark in our midst would destroy our entire philosophy. We are all equal here!"
"Then how do you explain that?" Asked Fluttershy.
SPLASH!
GASP!
Deadpool leapt from behind Twilight. He tossed a bucket of water towards Starlight, soaking her with water. The water caused the makeup on her flank to run, revealing her cutie mark to the surprise of her followers.
"Sorry, Starlight. I didn't mean to make you wet. I just have that effect on a lot of mares," Said Deadpool.
…
"Really? Anypony?"
…
"Come on, that was funny!"
"How did you get free of your straitjacket?!" Asked Starlight angrily.
"Sweetheart, this isn't my first time being held captive against my will."
Starlight glared at Deadpool and the Mane Six, who were all smiling triumphantly. She then looked at her followers, covering her cutie mark with her tail.
"Wha… What are you looking at?! They're the problem, not me!" Said Starlight nervously.
"How could you?" Asked Party Favor in shock.
"You said cutie marks were evil! You said special talents led to pain and heartache!" Added Double Diamond.
"They do! Don't you see?! Look at them!" Said Starlight.
"Then why? Why did you take ours and not give up your own?" Asked Sugar Belle.
"I… I had to, you fools! How could I collect your cutie marks without my magic?!" Asked Starlight.
"But the staff has all the magic we need!"
"The staff is a piece of wood I found in the desert! It's my magic that makes all this possible! You'd all still be living your miserable lives thinking you're better than everypony else if it weren't for my magical abilities! I brought you friendship! I brought you equality! I created harmony!"
"You lied to us!" Said Double Diamond angrily.
"So what? E-Everything else I said is true! The only way to be happy is if we're all equal!" Said Starlight.
"Except for you," Said Party Favor.
"Everypony has unique talents and gifts, and when we share them with each other, that's how rea-"
"QUIET!"
Twilight fearfully cut herself off when Starlight Glimmer yelled at the top of her lungs. She looked at the princess with pure spite, a vein bulging from her neck.
"You can't have a cutie mark, Starlight! Either we're all equal, or none of us are!" Said Sugar Belle.
All of her former followers formed a circle around Starlight Glimmer. She tried to back away, but bumped into the Mane Six and Deadpool. She then summoned a force field to push everyone away, and she bolted inside her cottage.
"Come on! Let's go get our cutie marks back!" Said Double Diamond.
"Yeah!"
Double Diamond led the entire village towards the caves where the cutie mark vault was.
"Come on! Let's get our cutie marks back!" Said Rainbow.
Nodding in agreement, the group of friends ran towards Starlight's cottage to retrieve their cutie marks.
Meanwhile, the majority of Starlight Glimmer's former followers were all gathered in front of the cutie mark vault. They were desperately trying to break through the glass display cases that made up the vault, but to no avail.
"Stand back, everypony!"
Everyone moved out of the way upon seeing Double Diamond. He galloped towards the vault while carrying the Staff of Sameness (which was revealed to be just a stick) in his mouth. He then tossed the staff towards the vault. One of the prongs of the staff cracked the glass. Several cracks formed in the glass, then it shattered. In a flash of multi-colored light, the villagers' cutie marks flew out of the vault and back to their respective owners.
Among the many ponies who regained their cutie marks, Double Diamond regained his cutie mark of three snowflakes, Party Favor regained his cutie mark of a balloon animal with party streamers, and Sugar Belle regained her cutie mark of a purple frosted cupcake with a cherry on top. Regaining the cutie marks also restored everyone's colors and manestyles.
The cutie marks of ponies who were not at the vault flew out of the cave. As they seeked out their owners, they created a vibrant light show in the sky.
"Even without my cutie mark, I can tell this is beautiful!" Said Rarity in astonishment.
Meanwhile, as Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Deadpool were working on breaking down the front door of Starlight's cottage, said Starlight was looking down at them and the cutie marks flying across town from her bedroom window.
"They think they can come to my village and disrupt my life? Let's see how they like spending the rest of their lives without their precious cutie marks!"
Starlight lit up her horn, and moved her bed. Doing so revealed a hidden flight of stairs into a secret passage. She grabbed the jars containing the Mane Six and Deadpool's cutie marks, and ran down the stairs. Outside the cottage, Deadpool put all of his weight onto his forelegs, and bucked the door off of its hinges with his hind legs.
He quickly rushed over to a closet, and pulled out a cardboard box. Contained inside was his suit and his weapons, which he hastily geared up as he followed his friends. Fluttershy led her everyone up to Starlight's bedroom. Upon opening the door and entering the room, she noticed the cutie marks were gone from atop the drawer they were kept on.
"They're gone! They were right over there!" Said Fluttershy.
It didn't take them long to notice the bed had been moved, and the secret passage it was hiding.
"Oh, no! Are we too late?" Asked Fluttershy.
"Not if we have anything to say about!"
Everyone turned around and saw in the doorway was Double Diamond, Sugar Belle, Party Favor, and Night Glider. The latter who had her cutie mark of a crescent moon with two feathers wrapped around it back.
"Hey, it's you guys!" Said Pinkie.
"Yup! We thought you could use a hoof," Said Night Glider.
"The more the merrier! Come on, everypony! We need to follow Starlight if we have any chance of getting our cutie marks back!" Said Twilight.
With no time to waste, the group followed the flight of stairs down into the depths of the secret passage. After navigating through the passage, the group emerged out of the side of a small hill on the outskirts of the village. They quickly searched the area for any signs of Starlight.
"Look!"
Rainbow Dash pointed east. Starlight Glimmer could barely be seen in the distance. Thinking quickly, Party Favor pulled some balloons out of nowhere, and inflated them. He then tied them together into a pair of binoculars. Looking into them, they allowed him to get a better view of Starlight from a distance. He noticed she was pulling a small cart containing the Mane Six and Deadpool's cutie marks. She was running along a path leading towards a mountain range in the distance.
"She's headed for the pass! If she makes it into those mountains, we'll never find her!" Said Party Favor.
"These are amazing!" Said Pinkie Pie while looking through the balloon binoculars.
"There's a whole network of caves up there! Your cutie marks will be gone forever!" Said Sugar Belle.
"Then let's get moving, y'all!" Said Applejack.
Moving quickly proved to be a challenge for the Mane Six. Rainbow Dash flew much slower than she normally is, and the other girls were having a hard time running. Deadpool was doing a better job at running quickly, but even he was noticeably slower. Their new friends were ahead of them.
"Oh, come on!" Said Rainbow frustratedly.
"Hey, Night Glider!"
Night Glider flew back after hearing Deadpool calling for her.
"Yeah?" Replied Night Glider.
"I hope you work out, because I have an idea."
Meanwhile, Party Favor, Sugar Belle, and Double Diamond had managed to catch up with Starlight. They still had some distance to cover as she was blazing ahead of them.
"Are you all so willing to give up everything because of these strangers?!" Asked Starlight bitterly.
Starlight cast a beam of magic towards some snow atop a ledge. It fell down towards the ponies, landing on and trapping Party Favor. As he dug himself out, Sugar Belle and Double Diamond kept chasing Starlight.
"We gave up everything for you, because we thought you were our friend!" Said Sugar Belle.
Meanwhile, the Mane Six were still lagging behind. They had barely gotten far on the mountain trail.
"I can't believe we have to count on these other ponies to save our cutie marks!" Said Rainbow frustratedly.
"If we hadn't come here to help them, they'd still be living under her rules! Now it's their turn to help us!" Said Twilight.
"And I know they can do it!" Added Fluttershy confidentiality.
"Well, did Night Glider really have to agree with Deadpool's harebrained plan?" Asked Rainbow.
"Whoa!"
Speaking of, Night Glider was carrying Deadpool precariously above the path. She was struggling to carry him in her arms, as evidenced by the fact he was dangling from below.
"Come on, Night Glider! If this plan is going to work, we need to fly faster!" Said Deadpool impatiently.
"I'm sorry, but you're very heavy!" Said Night Glider.
"I guess you have a point. How can I make this easier? Oh, I know! I will eject my poo, and that should make me a couple pounds lighter!"
"For the love of Celestia, PLEASE don't do that!"
Meanwhile, Starlight Glimmer ran across a bridge formed from the natural formation of some rocks in order to cross a ravine. Party Favor, Double Diamond, and Sugar Belle were lagging behind. Coming up with an idea on how to slow Starlight down, Sugar Belle used the magic from her horn to mold some snow into the shape of a pie.
"My newest recipe - snow pie!"
THUD!
Sugar Belle tossed the snow pie towards Starlight, and struck the breechings. They snapped in half, and Starlight fell to the ground with the girth still attached around her abdomen. The cart flipped over, and the jars containing the cutie marks fell off the bridge. Starlight quickly used her magic to catch the cutie marks just before they hit the ground below. Once she retrieved the cutie marks, she crossed the bridge. Just as her pursuers were about to cross the bridge themselves, she cast a beam of magic at the bridge.
BOOM!
The magic beam destroyed the bridge, with the three ponies pursuing Starlight just barely able to stop themselves from running off the newly formed ledge. Confident in her ability to escape, Starlight ran towards a cave in the near distance. Party Favor pulled out a lot of balloons, and created an entire bridge with them in a matter of seconds. As they crossed the bridge, the Mane Six noticed that Starlight Glimmer was getting closer to her escape point.
"She's gonna get away!" Said Rainbow.
Twilight noticed as her friends were crossing the bridge, two other ponies flew from above rather quickly.
"I wouldn't count on it!" Said Twilight with a confident smile.
Up ahead, Starlight Glimmer was just about to enter a cave. But as she was within a few feet of the entrance, she heard a pony yell…
"Maximum effort!"
Looking up, she saw to her surprise Night Glider and Deadpool above her. The former let the latter go, and he fell towards Starlight.
"Somepony called for an air drop?!"
BANG! BANG!
Deadpool pulled out both of his pistols, and rained magical bursts of energy from above. Having never seen such an attack, Starlight in her panicked state just dodged every shot while looking like she was dancing. Before she could even think of creating a shield, Deadpool was within striking distance.
THUD!
He landed right on top of her. Painfully getting up, Deadpool noticed a wound on his chest where he had landed on Starlight's horn. He then saw the jars containing his and his friends' cutie marks.
"Time to bring you trademarked tattoos back to your rightful owners."
"No!"
"Umph!"
Before he could grab the jars, Starlight got up and then tackled him to the ground. They both wrestled each other on the ground. Starlight proved to not be a pushover outside of magic.
"Don't make me break more than just your nose, Starlight!" Said Deadpool.
"I oughta toss you into the ravine for what you did!" Said Starlight angrily.
"Just apply some ice over your nose for the next day or two and take some pain meds, and you'll be fine! I would know, I had broken noses all the time before I got the healing factor."
While they were wrestling, Party Favor, Double Diamond, and Sugar Belle crossed the bridge. They along with Night Glider tried to get the cutie marks, but Starlight shot four bolts of magic at all of them, causing them to be tossed back. She then lit up the tip of her horn, and pressed it against Deadpool's face.
"FUCK!"
Starlight created a flash of light with her magic, which instantly blinded Deadpool. As he covered his eyes in pain, she picked him up with her magic to get him off her, then threw him several feet in front of her. She then hit him in the chest with a beam of magic.
"You can't hurt me! I'm disabled!" Said Deadpool frantically.
"You're not that kind of disabled!" Said everyone in the area.
Deadpool pulled out one of his pistols, and fired randomly. None of his shots hit, and Starlight took the gun out of his hoof from a safe distance. She saw the others running towards the cutie marks, so she erected a shield around them. They tried to break through the shield, but it held up. With his healing factor finally kicking in, Deadpool's vision was restored. Looking around at his surroundings for anything he could use against her, he noticed the snow all around them. Giving him an ingenious idea, Deadpool pulled out a grenade belt.
"Guys, run!"
Seeing him with the grenade belt, his friends booked it across the bridge. Also seeing the grenade belt, Starlight frantically lowered the shield around the cutie marks and raised one around herself. Deadpool pulled the pins, and threw the grenade belt towards the sky.
KA-BOOM!
Seeing the grenades explode safely above her, Starlight laughed.
"What did you think you were going to accomplish doing that?!" Asked Starlight mockingly.
"Look at what's all around us. I hope you brought a parka," Said Deadpool.
Looking around her, Starlight saw the snow that covered the small peaks around the cave. Realization hitting her like a truck, she had a look on her face that read "Oh, shit!" Rumbling could be heard around the area, and the snow shaked.
VWOOM!
In a split second, the snow in the area slid down rapidly around the two ponies. In the far distance, avalanches were occurring on the much higher mountain peaks. Before either one could escape, they were buried under several feet of snow. After the snow settled, all was quiet. The Mane Six and their friends ran up towards the snow. They quickly got to work to dig Deadpool out of the snow.
"Woo!"
Deadpool burst out from atop the snow pile like a red and black mole from the game Whack-A-Mole. He hollered in triumph of his victory, while his friends sighed in relief.
"I love fictional avalanches! Bet you didn't expect me to win by dropping nature on you, Starlight! Guess you can say I won by a landslide, or should I say, snowslide?"
"That was awesome!"
Rainbow Dash flew up to the top of the snow pile, and gave Deadpool a high five.
"Don't encourage him!" Twilight flew up to the top of the snow pile, then smacked Deadpool in the back of the head. "That was stupid and reckless!"
Rolling his eyes, Deadpool reached down in his self-made tunnel, and pulled out all of the jars containing the cutie marks.
"It helped me get these back, didn't it?" Asked Deadpool rhetorically.
Rolling her eyes in response, Twilight grabbed the jars in her magic, and twisted off the lids. The cutie marks flew out of the jars, and returned to her and her friends. As soon as her cutie mark reattached itself to her flank, Twilight felt her magic flowing through her veins. She and her friends cheered as they regained their special talents.
(Yo mama's so large, that Godzilla-)
"You really want to finish that sentence, pal?" Asked Deadpool to himself.
(Shit! He can hear us again?!)
(I guess now that that equal sign cutie mark is no longer drugging us with dark magic, it's allowing him to hear us again.)
(Aw, man! I was going to roast his penis size!)
"Yee-haw! Finally, I can buck like a five-bit snake herder in an Appleloosa ranch house again!" Said Applejack while stretching her hind legs.
"And you got your countryisms back, too!" Added Fluttershy.
A muffled sound could be heard behind them. The group looked towards the entrance of the cave, and saw a familiar lilac-colored hoof burst from the snow. Starlight Glimmer pulled herself out of the snow. Seeing the group of friends, her blood boiled. Her horn lit up, and she cast a beam of magic at the group.
Before it could strike anyone, Twilight leapt out in front of everyone, and summoned a large magenta shield. The shield absorbed the full force of Starlight's attack, leaving Starlight dumbfounded.
"Wh- I studied that spell for years! How can you-"
"I studied magic for years too! But what I didn't know then was that studying could only take me so far. Each of my friends has taught me something different about myself! It was their unique gifts, passions and personalities that helped bring out the magic inside of me! I never would have learned that I represent the element of magic without these six! And I certainly wouldn't be here to stop you now!" Said Twilight.
Starlight rolled her eyes in response to her sentimental speech.
"Spare me your sentimental nonsense! I gave these ponies real friendships they never could've had otherwise!" Said Starlight.
"How do you know that?! You never even gave us a chance!" Countered Double Diamond.
Glaring daggers at Double Diamond, Starlight used a less potent version of the spell she used on Deadpool to blind everyone briefly. Once their vision was restored, everyone saw she disappeared. Or so they thought. They saw that the patch of snow blocking the cave entrance was cleared, and snow tracked hoofprints led into the cave. Based on this evidence, they deduced she escaped into the cave.
"She's getting away!" Said Rainbow.
"We'll never find her in there!" Added Double Diamond.
"We still need to try! Come on, everypony!"
Deadpool directed everyone into the cave, hoping that they could find and apprehend Starlight.
Two hours later…
For the past couple hours, the group searched every inch of the cave. In spite of all of their efforts, they couldn't find Starlight. Leaving the cave empty-hoofed, everyone met back up at the cave entrance.
"I can't believe she got away! Said Rainbow frustratedly.
"You saw how winding the cave's paths were. She could have gone on either one, or even took a route we didn't even discover," Said Twilight.
"I doubt this is the last we have seen of Starlight. Even though it would be a classic villain cliche, she will most likely be out for revenge when the opportunity arises," Said Deadpool.
"Hopefully, it never comes to that. We just have to hope that when she's had the chance to think it over, she realizes you all [i]have[/i] taught her something," Said Twilight to her new friends.
"It's you who have taught us something! We all came to this village because we were searching for something missing from our lives. We thought Starlight had given it to us, but now… now it seems it was in front of us all along. It's us!" Said Party Favor.
Party Favor and his friends gathered around and embraced each other in a group hug.
"Does that mean you'll stay in the village?" Asked Twilight.
"It's our home. I'm not going anywhere," Said Night Glider.
"This is a chance for all of us to get to know each other again for the very first time!" Added Double Diamond.
"And I finally have a chance to bake something besides terrible muffins!" Added Sugar Belle excitedly.
"Thank Celestia!" Exclaimed Deadpool.
The whole group laughed to their hearts content as some light snow descended from above. A few hours later, at the village, with the return of their cutie marks and true selves, and the defeat of Starlight Glimmer, the residents with the help of the group of heroes put together a party. The entire village was decorated with colorful streamers and balloons. The townsponies happily conversed with each other as their true selves for the first time. Sugar Belle was giving away scrumptious treats that she herself made, and Party Favor and Double Diamond were bouncing a beach ball around with a small group of ponies. The Mane Six and Deadpool were standing off to the side, happy to see the village ponies happy and having fun.
"Now those are real smiles!" Said Pinkie.
Suddenly, the heroes' cutie marks glowed and pulsated.
"I'll never get used to that," Said Applejack.
"I think it's divine," Said Rarity.
"Are we being called somewhere else?" Pondered Deadpool.
"I have a feeling it means our work here is done," Said Twilight.
"Good! I have had enough friendship quests for one week. Fighting evil cult leaders and liberating an entire village leaves you in need of a good chair to rest on," Said Deadpool.
"Agreed," Concurred Rarity.
"Looks like you were right, Twilight. The map did have a reason for sendin' us here. We brought real friendship to these here ponies. Guess that's why you're the Princess of Friendship," Said Applejack.
"But the map didn't send me. It sent us. You're a part of me, all of you. And there's no doubt you're a part of my mission to spread friendship too."
Twilight and her friends embraced each other in a group hug.
"Does anypony else feel like this is an ending?" Asked Deadpool.
"It does! It doesn't have to be an ending yet, right? 'Cause that Sugar Belle can bake! Said Pinkie.
"Maybe we can stay a little while longer. Come on!" Said Twilight.
With her friends behind her, Twilight joined the villagers to party.
Fin.
Hey everyone! Hope you all enjoyed the latest chapter of "Deadpool: Mercenary of Harmony"! The next chapter will be another insertion of a season five episode. So, be sure to stay tuned! Until next time, this has been ThePhantomArchives, and I hope you all have a great day!