"One of those bouncy places!" Patton called out suddenly, mouth half full of banana. Virgil looked up from his coffee in confusion. The group had mostly been eating breakfast in silence, and while Patton having random outbursts wasn't something new, usually Virgil at least had enough context to follow their train of thought. He certainly didn't have enough today, though. That was out of nowhere. What the hell is a bouncy place? Virgil looked to Deceit, but he just shrugged. So, he didn't know what that meant, either.
"Yeah, I'm going to need more than that, Pat," Roman raised his eyebrow at Patton and sipped their orange juice.
"Same," Virgil leaned forward and awaited Patton's explanation. They finished chewing their fruit and swallowed hastily.
"We were wondering what to do today and I have work in the evening, but we could go to one of those bouncy trampoline places and have fun! I slept really well last night, so I should have the energy," Patton suggested as their eyes shined in anticipation.
"It's barely even nine. We have plenty of time until your evening shift. I think we'd need to pick more than that. I second that, though. Sometimes you just got to indulge that inner child with fudge sundaes and big trampolines," Roman shifted in his seat and reached out for his cup of juice.
"Darling, why are you working a job in college? That's ridiculous," Deceit shook his head and flipped his hand. "How much do you need?" He asked emphatically and turned to glare at Virgil. "Virgil, why aren't you supporting your clan?" Deceit's demand was accusatory, supported by a dire expression.
"Hey! I tried, Pat won't take the money! I wanted to give them the same thing we gave Roman!" Virgil held up his hands defensively, sitting up straight and leaning away from Deceit.
"Did you not explain to them it's traditional for the clan to pool resources if they're in range?" Deceit raised an eyebrow and motioned towards Patton with both hands.
"Ask them why they won't! They barely let me get away with paying for lunch too many times in a row," Virgil rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and leaning on the table.
"It's not right to accept money when you don't need it," Patton tightened their arms over their chest deliberately. "Other people deserve it more," They grumbled quietly and pressed back against the wood dining chair, setting their leg over their knee as well.
"Pat, that job exhausts you so much you can't do anything but whine in bed afterward for the rest of the day. You called me once to carry you home," Roman gestured dramatically with his arms. "I think you deserve some money. It's not like Virgil isn't aggressively throwing money at anyone who asks," Roman motioned towards Virgil with a croissant before taking a bite out of it.
"You called Roman to carry you home?" Virgil sipped his coffee and suddenly processed the implications of Patton needing help like that. He shot straight and looked to Patton with a fearful expression. "Pat, please, can I least pay for a doctor or something?" He pleaded, his entire face scrunched up in concern.
"It's fine!" Patton groaned. "I've got it handled," They insisted, not looking Virgil in the eye.
"Patton, it's not fine," Logan glowered at Patton, folding up his napkin from his lap and placing it on the table.
"You've clearly got it handled if you have super endurance and still have to get carried home by Roman," Deceit rolled his eyes and motioned to Roman. "We have more money than Virgil has sense, just take some," Deceit's tone was as clipped as it was commanding. Virgil nearly choked on his coffee from the rude statement, shooting Deceit a glare.
"If your health is at risk and you have a solution, why are you not taking it? I don't understand," Logan looked at Patton with worry and fiddled with his unused spoon, feeling around the dip of the spoon and design on the handle.
"I thought you were on my side about this," Patton grumbled with a guilty grimace at Logan before staring at the table.
"That was before I knew there was a health risk involved. You made it sound like the money from Virgil would be for trivial expenses, not something that could help you," Logan responded pointedly to Patton.
"It would be trivial. I'm fine! There're people out there dying and stuff. I'm just chilly and tired is all," Patton huffed, now also fidgeting with the tableware.
"And you have joint pain, and you have stomach issues, and your hair is falling out," Logan recited bluntly, and Virgil nearly choked on his own tongue in sheer terror for Patton's wellbeing.
"Pat!" Virgil shot desperately, gripping at the table hard enough that the wood creaked in protest. "You know what… D?" Virgil looked at him desperately, unable to take any more of this. Deceit nodded in agreement. "Pick an amount and a cause and we'll donate it this second," Virgil pulled out his phone and examined Patton intensely.
"What?" Patton looked confused.
"We could just access an aid website and help," Deceit offered, also pulling out his phone.
"On it," Virgil nodded swiftly and started searching through a crowdfunding website, pulling up money requests for medical things and paying them, then sending receipts to Patton.
"What's happening?" Logan furrowed his eyebrows and peered between Virgil and Patton.
"Virgil's blowing money on medical stuff right now so you don't have to feel bad. Take the job and the insurance, already," Roman huffed and shoved at Patton lightly, his voice entirely disgruntled. Patton's phone started vibrating, so they pulled it out and studied at it with a dumbfounded expression.
"Virgil, that's a lot!" Patton half-shouted, looking wide-eyed at their phone.
"Well, she needed a lot, Pat. I do this stuff all the time. If it takes aggressively showing you how much I'm already giving just so you can feel okay about it, I'll do it," Virgil grunted tersely, continuing his charitable onslaught.
"Virgil, can I have health care as well?" Logan asked evenly, possibly trying to lead Pat into agreeing.
"Done," Virgil waved his hand at him. "Sign up for whatever," He added distractedly as he sent another donation confirmation screenshot to Patton.
"Young man!" Patton shot in astonishment after another phone notification, looking frantically between Logan and Virgil.
"It's not a zero-sum game, darling. You getting help doesn't mean others aren't," Deceit leaned forward and looked specifically at Patton, staring them down with an intense gaze.
"Okay, fine!" Patton shot, throwing their arms up in defeat.
"Fine what? Are you quitting your job and joining the clan or just taking the doctor's visit?" Virgil arched an eyebrow at them, lowering his phone.
"All of it, I'll take all of it. I'm sorry," Patton muttered and wrung their hands. "I didn't realize you guys were all so worried about me," They murmured, looking down at their lap.
"You're kidding, right?" Roman asked incredulously and pulled Patton in for a hug right away. "We tell you all the time," He spoke softly into Patton's hair, drawing out a small flush on Patton's face.
"Patton has trust issues. I'll leave it at that," Deceit stated blithely and sipped his coffee, sharing a meaningful glance with Patton. Patton sighed and reached up to return Roman's hug.
"Another thing we have in common," Virgil chuckled darkly, leaning back in his chair with satisfaction. It relieved him incredibly that Patton finally took his offer and that they could stop arguing about Patton trying to pay for food when they clearly didn't have the money in the first place. Patton pouted at Deceit across the table petulantly, red in the ears, and D just grinned into his mug, looking smug.
"I said nothing, Patton darling," Deceit shrugged lightly, sounding wholly unaffected. Virgil rolled his eyes and put his phone away to return to his coffee. Roman released Patton, who reached for their juice, looking sheepish as they stared into the glass.
"Can we get tastier coffee than this today? This is barely better than the liquid sod from earlier. Let's go to some hipster joint with neon signs that we can harass with ukulele playing or something. We can play a Disney medley until someone rage quits," Virgil smirked impishly, leaning on his arm. He thought Deceit might have something to say about that, but Deceit was busy stealing glances at Roman's neck, licking his lips, and picking up his coffee to sip.
"We should get coffee before the trampoline venue. We shouldn't jump on full stomachs, but an opportunity to burn off the sugar from whatever Roman and Patton may order is very welcome," Logan suggested, putting down the spoon to return to his lean omelette, shooting a smirk at the other humans. Roman ran his hands through his hair with a small glower, but Patton just shrugged with an accepting grin.
"So, we need a filler between food and bouncing? What about swimming? There's a pool right out there. If we just submerge a table, D and V can just have a tea party on the pool floor under the umbrella," Roman grinned mischievously at them, bouncing his eyebrows. Virgil looked to Deceit to see if he was going to sass Roman first, but Deceit was getting to the stage where he was watching Roman like he was a starved man locked out of an especially sumptuous feast.
"Yeah, no," Virgil shot Roman a dirty look and imbibed his coffee, elbowing Deceit to shake him from his trance. Deceit blinked a few times and inhaled a sharp breath.
"Do you mind if I suggest something?" Logan piped up, shooting a concerned look to Patton who was still sulking, pushing the food around on the plate rather than eating it.
"By all means," Deceit leaned forward now with an attentive expression.
"I would like to do an escape room. The event takes anywhere from thirty minutes to two hours, and is indoors," Logan offered expectantly, glancing around for approval. Virgil watched Patton remain impassive and poke at their waffles. They normally would have an opinion and have expressed it by now.
"That sounds marvellous," Roman agreed enthusiastically, but he was also watching Patton sulk. Virgil got up out of his chair with an agitated huff.
"I'm stealing your datemate," Virgil stated and went over to where Patton sat. Patton didn't even notice until Virgil picked up Patton directly out of the chair. They only gave a weak protest and didn't fight back. "Shh, drop your shield," Virgil objected to their squeak of indignance. Virgil carried Patton over to the couch and held on to them, unceremoniously dropping to the chair with a loud puff of air from the cushions. "Escape rooms are not in, like, tight rooms, are they?" Virgil asked as he held Patton closer. Virgil still couldn't feel Patton's emotions at all, but they moved to sit more comfortably on Virgil's lap.
"I think I could conceivably find one that isn't. I believe there is an escape house in this area," Logan mused, pulling out his phone right away to research potential locations.
"Pat, drop the shield and accept some love," Roman called from the dining table. Deceit came over and pressed against Virgil's side as he placed his palm flat on Patton's back.
"Come on," Virgil frowned at them. Patton exhaled slowly and let go of staunchly maintaining their shield. They rose back up within Virgil in small bubbles before their emotions bloomed in his chest. Patton still had feelings of shame and frustration boiling inside, but at least they were no longer trying to hide it. "I have to admit I'm impressed with how long you held it that time," Virgil murmured consolingly, brushing Patton's hair out of their face and rubbing their back.
"I bet they could do even better with more venom in their system!" Roman sang and scooted closer to Logan to look at his phone screen. Virgil groaned loudly and Patton giggled slightly, their mood lifting to something less upset. "Oh, Victorian," Roman hummed inquisitively. "Is this one an escape mansion?" He already sounded invested in the idea.
"I doubt every room is a puzzle, but I believe they styled that way. It says it is also a café and they do ghost tours of the 'haunted' rooms," Logan's interest was clearly piqued, his eyebrows raised high and his heart rate jumped a little with the excitement.
"Haunted? That's dumb," Roman frowned and pursed his lips. "Perhaps the puzzle will be fun, though," He added, still watching Logan's screen while he perused the website.
"If it's actually haunted, I'd rather not deal with ghosts," Deceit protested flippantly, pushing into the chair, though he still kept contact with Patton's back.
"Wait, ghosts are real?" Patton shot, looking up to Virgil in amazement. Virgil blinked away the sudden overwhelmed shock from Patton and Roman and took a deep breath before responding.
"Yeah? Haven't humans basically proved that one? They barely try to conceal themselves," Virgil shrugged dismissively, shifting Patton on his lap so they didn't accidentally wrinkle any of Virgil's outfit.
"Can't you fight a ghost or whatever?" Roman asked incredulously, taking another bite of breakfast.
"Yes, we're so great at fighting incorporeal beings. I'm not biting myself just for some asshole who got themself offed," Deceit scoffed and flipped his hand as he spoke derisively.
"D!" Patton frowned disapprovingly. "Don't be so mean! Maybe they didn't die like that, and even if they did, that's very disrespectful," They protested as they gave Deceit the stink-eye.
"No, there's only one way to become a ghost, and it's not peaceful," Virgil sighed drearily, not particularly fond of the topic. "And it's not for regular humans, anyway, D says 'assholes' because most mages don't go killing each other for the funsies," He added glibly.
"Well…" Deceit looked away and trailed off, clicking his tongue.
"Okay, well, said newly un-alived mage doesn't turn in into a spook when that happens," Virgil amended his previous statement curtly.
"I'm sorry, are you telling me both phantoms and humans with magic are a real thing?" Roman asked disbelievingly. Logan had put down his phone and just gawked at Virgil with a thoroughly perplexed face.
"Both you and Pat have magic," Virgil raised his eyebrow at Roman. "Why is this news?" He urged wearily, feeling completely thrown off by all the bewilderment occurring in his Brood. Patton's dishes all clattered when being so utterly flabbergasted resulted in stumbling and the slipping off of their arm.
"I thought it was some vampire thing!" Roman shot wildly, flinging up his arms.
"It's all called the same thing, dunderwhelp," Virgil razzed, looking at Roman tiredly while he flailed in utter bewilderment. Logan glanced with fascination at Virgil, leaning away from Roman's theatricality.
"Do you have magic?" Patton asked brightly. At least it cheered them up, though Roman was the one being extra, now. Virgil could never keep the peace once he got it. Can't have shit in Detroit. D grunted and elbowed Virgil with a flash of the stink eye before turning to face Patton.
"Only our gifts and venom, love, nothing fancy like other races can do," Deceit explained airily, crossing his legs and leaning back on the couch while spreading his arm over Virgil's shoulder. "We're… hmm. We're a 'battle class', I suppose," Deceit added, tapping his lip. He didn't seem sure about the phrasing, but it sounded fine to Virgil.
"Could you clarify 'biting yourself'?" Logan raised his hand at the table, receiving another baffled scoff from Roman while he processed this information in his own unique way.
"Hm? Oh, sure. If we give ourselves a venom injection like in the arm or something, we have a few skills that would let us actually attack a ghost, though it isn't a good idea to do. It has to be a serious amount of venom and fucks you up to do. Honestly, I don't remember everything possible. It takes a long time to recover from. It's considered dishonourable to resort to in a fight, so it's not really done," Virgil explained plainly while Patton bounced and shook their fists and Logan made the cute face he got when he got completely new knowledge.
"Virgil and I might have terrorized Norway with it. The whole sunless winter situation is very advantageous for individuals such as us," Deceit boasted cheerily, though Virgil found it nothing to be proud about. Virgil exhaled heavily and slumped on the couch with a squeak of revolt from Pat.
"Sorry," Virgil apologized, drooping his head limply.
"Oh, don't be such a fussbudget," Deceit rolled his eyes, smacking Virgil's shoulder with the back of his hand lightly. "I suppose he could remember all the skills with more help from his Brood," He grinned toothily at Virgil, flashing his canines.
"Hecate grant me favour," Virgil huffed and leaned on the couch as he squeezed Patton closer. They didn't protest the close proximity in the slightest, making a small enthusiastic noise in their throat and nestling their head against Virgil's.
"Is that what you meant by 'venom junkie' yesterday? I swore I heard you shout that at Remy before I, uh, accidentally failed to protect you," Roman asked, stumbling at the end. Logan also looked at Virgil expectantly, pausing on his food.
"Oh, uh, fuck, this is embarrassing," Virgil groaned, wanting to talk about this even less than the ghosts. He'd give almost anything to be in the other room playing the baby grand they found last night instead of having this conversation. "No. Another clan's venom is actually venomous to us. Not just nomenclature. Some vampires… sort of… seek out getting bit by another vampire. As a drug thing. It's very powerful, makes you sick, but also you'll trip balls," Virgil sighed and sank his head in shame. He knew this would come up eventually, but he wished it didn't have to be in a room with literally everyone he loved in it.
"Ugh," Patton huffed in condemnation of vampire drugs, but their emotions had evened out, and were feeling less overwhelmed now.
"Why is that embarrassing?" Roman prodded in a sing-song tone, motioning at Virgil with his fork while he chewed at an oversized bite of food.
"Are you feeling okay enough to finish breakfast? You should eat and I'm sure your boyfriend misses you," Virgil nearly leaned in to kiss Patton's hair but thought better of it, patting their back instead.
"Yeah, sorry guys," Patton smiled slightly and Virgil released them to leave. Patton left Virgil's lap and returned to the table. Deceit pulled Virgil in with a very smug expression, thrilled to steal Virgil away all for himself. Virgil assumed Deceit's appetite was getting out of hand after sitting so close to Patton while he was already thirsty.
"No, need to be sorry, Pat," Roman replied hastily. "But, no, we're not dropping this," Roman grinned roguishly. "D, why is Virgil embarrassed?" He skipped over asking the source directly to the next best thing, a blunt mind-reader.
"Virgil, you didn't," Deceit pulled away to look at Virgil with an appalled expression. Virgil just dropped back onto the couch with a sigh. "Hecate, you did," He breathed a broken breath of defeat and stared at Virgil with worry for a moment before his expression turned sinister. "You know that's potentially fatal, you twit!" He shot angrily and smacked Virgil on the arm, glowering intensely at Virgil.
"I know it was dumb, I only did a few times," Virgil protested quiet enough that hopefully, only Deceit heard.
"Every vampire knows not to do that!" Deceit growled lowly, his face plastered with a dismal expression.
"I got in a fight and it didn't go great, and then… well, it ended up being fun and I was bored, basically. The reasoning wasn't great," Virgil rubbed his face. "I won't do it again, it was decades ago," Virgil held up both hands in defense. Deceit pulled him back in aggressively, squeezing Virgil so tight that if he had to breathe he'd be in big trouble.
"You better not you fucking imbecile," Deceit grumbled sinisterly. "Because you were bored. Hecate forbid you go to a DMV," He added bitterly, keeping Virgil trapped tightly in his arms.
"Sheesh, sorry, Virge. I didn't think it was so serious," Roman muttered guiltily, looking down at his food.
"Yeah, I didn't do a great job of treating it like the big deal it is. The venom can be fatal. Especially from another alpha. It's… not safe for the clan if I die. Deceit would have felt it, for one," Virgil said sheepishly, kneading his hands together. "The clan benefits all go with the alpha," He added when Logan stared at him blankly, clearly about to ask for further information.
"Along with the clan sanity," Deceit huffed grimly, making an expression like he was considering biting Virgil. "You're banned from death. I'm sorry, I'm a lawyer and I make the rules," He kissed Virgil's head with a small sly smile.
"How do you know I wasn't a lawyer once?" Virgil arched an eyebrow at him.
"Because you'd never stand up and present in a room full of humans without an instrument in your hands, and as far as I know there are no courts that allow you to play the violin incessantly," Deceit insisted, squeezing Virgil once more before finally loosening up on Virgil's torso.
"Okay, that's fair," Virgil chuckled, gripping Deceit's arm's back affectionately.
"Are there many vampire traditions? You have given the impression that vampires are not very sociable outside of clans. I can't comprehend how such past-times would move organically among vampires," Logan inquired, rubbing his chin and peering up to the ceiling.
"There's the territory bullshit and we are bastards by default, but there are still friendly interactions. We have the whole vampire dark web and information spreads rapidly in clans. Alphas also sort of have a sense for some of it, it just comes naturally. Like, I don't remember having a clan member die on me in living memory, but I know about the death traditions and such," Virgil shrugged, nestling into Deceit's arms much more cheerfully than earlier.
"What a delightful example to pick," Deceit drawled sarcastically.
"Oh, like we're a pleasant species. You were just tickled by the shit we did in Norway," Virgil rolled his eyes at Deceit, jabbing him in the side.
"Perhaps you were a lawyer once," Deceit chuckled and pulled up Virgil slightly to kiss his hair. "You enjoyed yourself at the time," He added, tinged with self-satisfaction.
"I enjoyed biting Roman that first time, too, it doesn't mean it was right," Virgil muttered under his breath.
"Roman, Virgil's being a guilty idiot," Deceit alerted everyone flippantly, running his fingers along the hair at Virgil's neck.
"Virge, I will come over there and choke the guilt out of you," Roman narrowed his eyes as menacingly as an adorable human could. Virgil looked up to Deceit, and they both broke out laughing.
"Please, do. Frankly, I'd love to see you try," Deceit snickered, wiping away a fake tear of bemusement.
"Kinky," Virgil joked, and Roman turned so red that Patton turned pink, too. Either that or Patton was also embarrassed, but they just kept eating their waffles despite the flushed face. "So, uh, to get back to what we were talking about, I'm down for the escape mansion thing. It's probably not really haunted. Ghosts can be anywhere they want. Why haunt a tourist trap?" Virgil nestled against Deceit contentedly. He hoped the uncomfortable subjects were finally over. Though he did still glance towards the piano, hoping that whatever they planned for today, he'd have time to play it before they checked out of their room.
"I'm interested," Patton supplied, followed by a tiny and adorable yawn. They reached for Virgil's abandoned coffee to steal a sip and settled back into their chair, keeping the thieved mug of joe. Virgil wasn't too attached to it to be upset about the loss.
"How about you, Deceit?" Logan asked with a vested interest.
"I'm pleased to spend time with Virgil, no matter what we do," Deceit cooed, flicking at Virgil's hair with a soul-melting smile. "But I'm certainly not opposed or disinterested. I'm intrigued by the concept of paying to go somewhere where the goal is to leave," He chuckled through his nose. "Are you keeping the rainbow hair for the day, love? I much rather prefer you with dark hair," He asked hopefully, brushing Virgil's hair to the front of his chest.
"Oh! Hold on, Virge, let me send you a video," Patton declared excitedly and flapped their hand impatiently at him. Virgil raised his eyebrows and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Patton sent a video link a moment later. It was someone running their hand through their hair and revealing the neon colours under a layer of regularly coloured hair. "Eh?" They wiggled their eyebrows. "That way if I braid it, it still looks cool!" Ah, fun hair, the way to cheer up all gays.
"It's up to you, darling," Virgil purred and reached up to hold Deceit's face. Deceit tilted his head to the side to consider it, then nodded after a moment and grabbed Virgil's phone to help. Virgil set the phone to the camera and paused for a second, trying to figure out how to visualize that. Virgil ran his hand through his hair and pulled it into black hair on top with various shades of purple hidden underneath. He took his phone back and kissed Deceit on the cheek for his assistance. "Send me that haunted mansion thing so I can reserve us a time slot," Virgil requested from Logan while Patton squealed about the hair at the table. He figured it was probably some scheduled thing if there were multiple rooms to get through. Deceit pulled Virgil close and kissed his hair appreciatively.
"Neat!" Patton said, leaning over and looking at Logan's phone screen. Virgil got the message and started looking up how to schedule for a party of five.
"I've never done an escape room before. They seem exciting enough. Do we get clues and the like? It'd be a bit nerve-wracking left of our own devices," Roman asked warily, tapping his fork on his plate with a soft clicking sound.
"Normally there will be clues throughout the room to find. I have never done this particular one," Logan supplied, his voice tinged with anticipation at the prospect. Virgil looked at the various packages the business offered.
"I can get some kind of bundle thing for the café and to visit the most haunted room," Virgil informed them, pointing at his phone screen. "It's a full tea-service thing so I'm game," Virgil licked his lips and Deceit chuckled breathily as he carded his fingers through Virgil's hair.
"Is it the full ghost tour?" Roman asked curiously, also stealing a sip from Virgil's coffee with a small look of disgust from Logan. Patton covered their mouth while they snickered since they were in the middle of chewing.
"It says this room isn't on the ghost tour. They only let in small groups a few times a day. Probably just trying to build hype or something. I'm kind of curious if it's authentically haunted, now," Virgil admitted, glancing at the other packages to consider his options.
"What a fabulous idea, go into a room where there's potentially someone who we can't easily defend against," Deceit rolled his eyes sardonically, but didn't stop tenderly playing with Virgil's hair.
"You know that most ghosts are more concerned with chatting than they are trying to fry us. They're not territorial assholes, unlike us," Virgil reminded him plainly, kissing Deceit's forehead.
"Unless it's their house, then they are absolutely territorial assholes," Deceit objected moodily, grumbling to himself.
"You're just bitter about that manor you wanted to buy in the Italian countryside," Virgil replied flatly, looking at Deceit with exasperation.
"So maybe I am!" Deceit blurted sourly, throwing the hand in Virgil's hair, making it fly everywhere before going back to entwine his fingers through it.
"Will we be able to see it?" Patton sounded extremely nervous.
"Probably not, unless it lets you. You'll be safe, though, Pat. I'm pretty certain you can shield against anything it tries to throw at you. But like I said, I doubt it's haunted," Virgil shrugged and shifted to plant a kiss on D's temple. Deceit continued fuming about the manor with a grumpy expression rather than respond. Virgil reserved an early lunchtime slot so they could get all the tea-service options. The menu seemed light enough to not be an issue for bouncing on trampolines. "Okay, scheduled. We've got a few hours to kill, still," Virgil announced and put away his phone, opting to hug Deceit with his newly freed hands.
"I wanted that manor, damnit," Deceit softly muttered, making a sour expression and pressing his face into Virgil.
"You own a castle," Virgil sneered and rolled his eyes at his beloved diva.
"That got haunted, too," Deceit hissed grimly, gripping at Virgil. "Though perhaps they've cleared out by now," He added more hopefully.
"He owns a castle?" Patton beamed excitedly, sitting up with both hands on the table, looking like they were about to attempt to jump over it. Roman pulled at Patton's jean skirt to force them to sit down with an endeared smirk.
"It's in Europe, so unless everybody has updated passports I don't know what to tell you," Virgil chuckled and angled to kiss Deceit once more. "He's written quite a few best-sellers in his day," Virgil was always happy to boast about Deceit's achievements. "Also, I think right now he's technically six people and definitely his own grandpa," He mused, dancing his fingers around one of Deceit's loose curls.
"Yes, that's correct. You have no idea how annoying it is to exist in your stupid society that doesn't allow for immortals," Deceit's tone was littered with resentment as he leaned further back on the couch. "Well, you might get an inkling if you decide to let us continue feeding on you," He added with an amused smile at the pair.
"Wait, how long will we live if you keep drinking from us?" Roman dropped his fork to the plate mid-bite, acquiring a look of mild ire from Logan once more, possibly for Roman's horrible table manners.
Deceit hummed, shaking his head. "Brood often get turned before they leave their prime, we wouldn't know," He spoke smoothly, but was distracted by staring at Virgil's neck. "Finish your meal, I need to eat as well," He flipped his hand at Roman, not capable of pulling away from what seemed like contemplating gnawing at Virgil's jugular.
"You're just antsy for my delicious blood," Roman stated proudly, picking back up his fork and returning to his pile of food. Deceit licked his lips and pressed a kiss on Virgil's neck, having to lean around him to do so.
"Is there anything you want to do other than drink some ambrosia before this haunted escape house thing?" Virgil reached up to stroke Deceit's cheek with his thumb, distracting him from his parched reverie. He hummed and leaned back into the couch, possibly realizing he might have been about to bite Virgil.
"I am too thirsty to think straight," Deceit growled, pulling Virgil close again. "I'm not sure what Roman can give will be enough," He added darkly.
Patton held up their hand, and Logan immediately clapped his hand over their mouth. "I will help. Patton should see a doctor first and I am under no such compulsion for you to question my ability to consent," Logan stated plainly, shooting Patton a look when they glared at him for stopping them.
"Really," Deceit purred, looking at Logan hopefully as Patton slumped backward dramatically, dropping their arms and groaning in disdain. Roman patted Patton's shoulder conciliatory with a half-bemused expression.
"Are you sure you can handle that?" Virgil asked carefully, earning a quiet hiss and a tight squeeze from his incredibly thirsty boyfriend.
"You ordered an inordinate amount of food, I should be fine," Logan glanced at the table covered in dishes skeptically.
"Roman eats enough for two people," Virgil replied flatly, shooting Roman a look.
"I enjoy using my gifts, so sue me," Roman stuck out his tongue and danced from his shoulders jocosely. "Also, it's the craziest thing, some vampires keep stealing my blood," He added with a little chuckle before taking a big bite out of a ham steak.
"I am not around most of the week, I'm certainly not at fault for Roman's eating habits," Deceit looked at Virgil pointedly, poking him in the stomach.
"He was trying to get a gift!" Virgil shot defensively, jabbing Deceit back with his elbow.
"I will help Deceit, please do not fight. I haven't fully wrapped my head around your abilities and it hurts my brain to watch," Logan huffed, stabbing at a piece of melon and popping it in his mouth. There was a pause of silence in which Virgil looked at Logan as he fought his desire to pester Logan until he was more comfortable. Logan needed time, and Virgil had to not force him along. Roman tilted up his head contemplatively while Virgil chewed his lip.
"No, Roman," Deceit glowered at him, holding Virgil against himself with a tighter grip.
"I was just thinking about it, I wasn't going to do it!" Roman threw his palm up faced outward, the rattled look on his face apparent. Roman utilized Deceit's mind-reading earlier to dig on Virgil, but apparently forgot his gift also included Roman's thoughts. Deceit stared Roman down intensely.
"I refuse to have to pay for the damages if you burn the suite down," Deceit replied bluntly, bending down to nestle in Virgil's neck again. Deceit didn't acknowledge what others were thinking unless it was relevant or necessary, it's probably easy to forget if you didn't have to live with it. Deceit nodded into Virgil's neck unsteadily.
"Please, just eat your breakfast, Roman," Virgil sighed as Deceit's fang grazed Virgil's neck. Deceit was getting too thirsty, Roman was contemplating arson, Patton was trying to be a blood sacrifice, and Logan kept glaring at Roman's terrible table manners. Why did things always seem to descend into absolute absurdity around Virgil?
"I'm eating, I'm eating," Roman rolled his eyes and leaned on the table, shoving some more ham steak in his mouth.
"I'm almost done, I could—" Patton raised their hand meekly.
"No," Resounded through the room from multiple voices as Deceit's grip around Virgil tightened.
"Well, uh… fine," Patton sighed, chasing their sad expression with downing the remainder of Virgil's coffee. Patton gasped and slammed down the mug, looking proudly over at Virgil. "There!" They proclaimed with a beaming grin.
"Ah, I've been slighted. I tarried too long and find myself bereft of liquid gold. An act of vengeance for the ages," Virgil rolled his eyes derisively, but he was at least amused.
"Darn tootin'!" Patton sat back happily, picking up some toast to munch. Roman reached for Deceit's abandoned cup of coffee to drink from instead, getting another look of ire from Logan in the process. Deceit's fang grazed Virgil's neck once more, and Virgil wasn't sure if he needed to sequester Deceit or not at this point.
"I'm fine," Deceit whispered hotly, biting gently at Virgil's neck. It's not like they could tell what he was doing since Deceit was wrapped around Virgil, but it seemed like it was something that might upset the humans. "I'll stop if someone catches on, let me have this," Deceit hissed into Virgil's ear before biting again and licking the marks closed.
Virgil snickered to himself privately, easily concealed by the sounds of dishes clanking and Roman and Logan arguing about which fork is used for what part of the meal. "Hey Deceit, we're necking," Virgil whispered and Deceit bit Virgil harder that time. That was probably fair. Virgil glimpsed in the piano's direction and wrapped his fingers in the strap on the back of Deceit's fitted vest. Well, being Deceit's chew toy until someone could handle feeding him was an excellent use of time, anyway.
"Thank you, darling," Deceit breathed appreciatively, hugging Virgil by curling around him with his full body. "Stick by me today?" He asked with an uncharacteristic meekness in his nearly silent voice.
"Whatever you want, I will always give it to you," Virgil responded softly, holding Deceit close.
"I want the moon," Deceit replied evenly before biting down again.
"Vampires in space sounds like a plan," Virgil nodded in accord with a wry smirk. "Just be careful about the amount of venom," He whispered gently, rubbing Deceit's back.
"A venom junkie like you can surely handle it," Deceit hummed playfully, licking Virgil's neck to heal the marred skin.
Honestly, there were worse ways to spend a morning, even if Roman was loudly declaring that "A fork is a fork!" while Deceit controlled himself by chewing on Virgil.
Logan tried to get Patton to side with him, but Patton only made silverware puns and said that things were "Forking delicious," while giggling to themself.
Virgil half-considered going over there and force-feeding Roman so he'd stop getting distracted and just eat for Deceit's long-suffering sake, but Deceit was gripping Virgil so rigidly that he would struggle to escape. Deceit's shield was down and everyone thrummed in his chest, nobody was having a fit that Deceit was drawing black blood from Virgil's neck, and he was with all of his friends. That sounded like an awesome morning, even if it was completely out of hand.