Dumbo the Phoenix, Marco the Elephant

It's not like they weren't used to people rolling under the door to the main entry to the Polar Tang. It had warped and buckled on a summer island a few nautical miles back and would only pulley up to quarter-mast, and it was fine for anyone up to about Bepo's height, but Jean Bart just had to roll with it. Or under it. Literally.

"I usually shamble him in anyway," Law told the elephant sitting across from him, "It's quicker. He's a big guy. Not so nimble."

The elephant trumpeted. Yeah, yeah. Law guessed he was the most graceful elephant he'd seen. He was they first flying elephant he'd come across.

"The door? It's a bit ignominious for a former captain to roll under it." Law traced his own hand tattoo as if it was a newly acquired design. "Not to mention a Heart Pirate. Uni's pretty tall too." A few other members of his crew as well. Jean Bart had height on the elephant. But Law couldn't port them all. His power had its limits.

"It's hardly worse than a phoenix somehow transfiguring into a pachyderm." Law's laugh was all wheat stalk on autumn roadside. Epidermis to Marco's pachydermis. All husk to tusk.

He picked at the skin around his fingers. Rubbed smooth and useless from holding Kikoku. The sheath was soft from constant wear, but that stress was reinforced by some clown-nosed bump on his hand.

He shook his head, not able to stop his smile.

"A cold, you say?"

This elephant was blue too. And wore glasses. Law would have to look into the tori tori no mi (model phoenix) to see how it manipulated inanimate objects to fit the very animate devourer of the fruit. Marco harrumphed again and a few flames flew from his trunk. A sneeze?

That had stopped Kizaru in his tracks as had Marco being phoenix one moment and elephant the next. Luckily the Polar Tang was primed to go and Law called in the second commander, and then Jean Bart, and then the rest of the crew rolled under the door even though they could've walked easily. Shachi, Penguin and Ikkaku were always eager to play at commando and struck a guns-drawn-and-ready pose on the opposite side, despite not carrying any guns. The shutter was lowered and they submerged.

A skirmish with the navy and saving Marco's saggy baggy arse hadn't been part of the stocking-up-on-goods plan. But here they were.

Law had called Izou. He swore the den-den mushi fixed its hair for a spell while talking. The spotted hat really didn't sit well.

"He'll get his speech back. It happens sometimes when he's got a bit of a lurgy. Mix up honey and lemon for the poor love and keep him warm. He'll be better in about a week."

Law nodded. Jean Bart had been on board for far longer than a week and it hadn't sunk. They'd adjusted the rooms for him so it shouldn't be a problem for Marco, but yeah.

"Gets a bit clingy," Izou had said. "Good luck."

Law looked over at him now, huge ears flapping then settling.

"Guess it's hard always being adored, huh?"

Marco extended his trunk and wrapped it around Law's wrist. The Heart Pirate usually preferred his lover in human form, then phoenix, but elephant was awfully affectionate. He raised the secured hand to his own lips and gave the wrinkled tree-bark-skin a peck.

He stood up and closer and rested his head against Marco's broad brow. Marco unfurled his trunk and wrapped it around Law's waist.

"Alright, alright. We adjusted the captain's quarters for Bepo. So you can stay."

Marco let go and Law grabbed Kikoku and walked towards the room's exit. Marco hooked his trunk in Law's waistband and they moved down corridors wide enough to push a few gurneys through at a time, and for Jean Bart to pass comfortably. Wolf must've had some kind of future sight when he'd designed this. Some vision of floating surgeries for giants being a necessity.

"But on the floor, you'll break the bed, and no pulling the blankets off me when you want attention in the middle of the night."

Marco swatted Law on the tush.

Law turned. Black eyes still, underneath all of those layers? Amplified behind his glasses. Guess it was kinda strange being in an unfamiliar form, though Law knew a lot about that, always grilling his subjects when he switched their personalities around.

"You're a grown man. Lord knows how your own crew put up with you."

Marco had heard the transponder conversation. Pretty well by his reckoning.

The Heart crew looked on from the side doors as the elephant trailed Law like a bumble-toed puppy.

Law shambled him to the other side of the captain's quarters then followed. Through the door. Marco stood in the centre of the room and his trunk had enough reach to pull the mattress to the floor, the sheets loosening, except for the fitted one, the pillow falling to the ground. The mattress settled fairly neatly beside him. He lowered himself, front legs stretched out, back legs to the side, one under him. He patted the surface firmly with his trunk. Had to teach Law at some point that he was a proboscidean, not a pachyderm.

Law guessed he had no choice but to sleep on the floor, especially when Marco dragged him onto the bedding. He flumped down with all the class and agency of a dropped iron weight, breath knocked clear out of him.

Once he'd regulated his breathing, he stretched out, laid back, shoes kicked off. "Man. Your phoenix form's a lot less needy," he said. Kikoku leant against the bed-frame, and Law shucked off his coat. "But, I keep the blankets and you are not to roll over, okay?"

Marco harrumphed.

"I'm not your baby. Like, distance is fine when you're this size, okay?" Baby elephants slept under the adults, but the adults were standing and Marco was more similar to the baby in this situation in all but size. Izou had said he regressed a little.

Law tugged down his shirt from where it had ridden up. It looked like Marco had tired himself out, transforming from flying flamebird to flapping fire-elephant, and it was always tough facing down Kizaru.

The covers were warm against Law's cheek as he slipped under them for a second, for a tiny bit of shut-eye. He slept better when it wasn't scheduled.

Reaching up, Marco lowered his forehead for Law to pat. "It was cool the way you gored that new marine. Kinda bloody, but Clione wasn't paying attention. Thought quickly on those gristled feet of yours." They really were, but it wasn't like Marco's talons were prettier. "Great job. Thank you."

Marco blinked his long-lashed eyes, and dipped his head further. He'd have to roll over at some point, but away from the mattress. He hoped. The vibrations of the sub were amplified through those gnarly feet. He was super sensitive in this form. It was easy to get confused. Especially in new spaces. Though he'd been in Law's chambers before.

Marco in human form (it was just a twenty-four hour bug after all) joined the Hearts in the mess the next morning. The room fell silent as the commander made a beeline for the coffee pot. Whether for him or Law, the crew didn't know. Then idle chatter struck up again, the scrape of butter across lightly toasted bread, the click of chopsticks against the side of a bowl. Nobody dared broach the elephant in the room. Not yet. They'd barely had time to comprehend it.

A/N: Just some crack. I'm sure I'll tighten it up. The basic outline of this was one of those surreal morning dreams that come in between waking and falling back to sleep. I know that the main doors to the Polar Tang are horizontal, I think, and look like sliding doors. But for the purposes of this story, and the way the dream outline it, it now has a pull-down shutter.

Anyway, hope you have fun reading it.