Chapter 32

FearClan/Lion

The following sunrise after the night's battle was as cold and desolate as ever before. Lion hadn't taken back her thorn-sharp words. Her pelt ruffled from the warm winds promising a warm newleaf to come. Yet, her amber eyes were downcast as the cats rested, ate, and took their time to separate into their proper groups. The Giant Garden was bustling with life around her, even Moth was blending in. Pain ached in her heart as she stayed crouched where she was. Quail often visited her, trying to entice her to eat, which only resulted in her taking a mouthful and nothing more.

Her mind buzzed like a busy bee hive, wondering how and when she could try to make things better between her and Moth. How she could even try to forgive him and let him into her world. Would he ever have known the feeling of being an outsider in her heart? How did she fit in so well with Quail's group rather then FearClan? She dug her claws into the Giant Garden's soil, her fur ruffling as she rose to her paws. She wanted to be alone, but with the impending trek coming up, she knew it wouldn't be wise. Looking to the sky, she wondered, briefly, just what her mother had been thinking to go to FearClan.

As the day slowly moved on, she remained stationary, cleaning her wounds when sun-high arrived. She refused to move to preserve her energy, her amber eyes watching Moth as he walked with the group. His eyes never once flicking to her direction. Something inside her cracked, but she knew it was meant to be. After all, she pushed him away. She swallowed dryly, knowing that if she spoke up now, it would be just like his own jealousy about her and Quail.

"Cats of the Giant Garden Fragment," Quail announced in a loud and commanding yowl. "Newleaf is coming, thus it is time we follow Moth and Lion to the River Fragment called FearClan."

Her eyes darted back, her heart fluttering like a trapped bird inside her ribcage. She wasn't ready, especially when Moth's emerald green eyes locked onto her own. Sorrow filled them and some sort of other emotion she could not name. Was it a longing? The same longing she felt, but could not speak out against? She did not know and feared asking in case her previous words came back to slash her across the face. She looked away, feeling her ears burn with shame and embarrassment.

She was tired of being hurt, yet she was longing for someone to rid her of this pain. A pain that she wished never had to be. Looking ahead, she realized Quail had rallied the cats who were scarred and had angry red wounds from the coyotes. It was time and there was no time to loose. Quail's eyes locked onto hers and he spoke, singling her out among the group and giving her that feeling to the very tips of her whiskers.

"Are you ready to return to your home territory?" Quail asked, his mew as silky as an otters pelt.

She hesitated, before nodding. "As ready as I will ever be."

"Then we shall leave tonight. By then, the Twolegs and their monsters shouldn't be able to get in our way." Quail decided, "Everyone prepare yourselves, feast in the usual Food Giver clearings, we need to be full-fed for tonight's journey."

Lion listened, glancing to Moth whose gaze was shadowed by hurt. At last, she couldn't handle it anymore and rose to her paws, limping towards the bright ginger tabby as the cats dispersed. The tom was already moving away, but she was determined to try and set things right. This time, she wished for something more private without the prying eyes of other cats on them.

Once she was close enough she mewed in a hushed tone. "Moth, come with me. I want to speak to you in private before you leave me alone in favor of the others."

"Why? I thought you said all you wanted before." Moth grumbled.

"Perhaps, but it never hurts to try and talk from cat to cat rather then FearClan to River-Cat." Lion pointed out softly.

The tom looked to her in surprise. "What makes you want to talk now?"

"Sitting around hardly eating and being in pain gives you plenty of time to think." Lion replied, gesturing to a spot closer to the massive pond. "We can speak over there and have a drink."

Moth sighed heavily, but nodded. "Whatever makes you feel better." He meowed sourly.

Lion ignored his comment, favoring on limping on ahead without a word. Her pelt itched to snap back and yet, she knew what her mother would say. Her mother would want her to be the bigger cat and accept those words without a remark. She had to after giving up on so much for so long. Last night she had been in so much pain and feared the worst, she fell victim to FearClan's work. With each step, she got closer to the water before Moth over took her and beat her to getting a drink.

He lapped at the water quickly, flinching only once to the cold chill before she joined him, relishing the icy taste of the water. Yet, it was hardly enough. It held the taste of pond fish and turtles making her wrinkle her nose. Licking her jaws, she wished she could taste the delicious river water instead. It had less silt in it and more of a taste of chubs and minnows that swam in it, especially less turtles! She lifted her head, staying in her crouched position a moment longer as she stared across the pond.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Moth asked quietly, his tail tip twitching in the grass behind them.

The reddish-brown she-cat glanced to him before looking beyond him to steady herself. "I wanted to apologize for last night." His ears flicked up in the corner of her sight, making her heart pound nervously. "I said things out of pain and feeling that I was doing everything you wanted, but it wasn't good enough."

Moth blinked, his mew more gentle now. "Not that I was making it any easier for you. I mean, it was harsh, but you told me the truth. I know you, you never coat things with prey-blood. You say things as you see them."

"Perhaps, but you also told the truth." Lion sighed softly. "I was pushing you away."

"And why was that?" Moth asked.

She looked at him at last, pain searing through her. "You wanted me to become mates with Quail without taking into account of how I felt. I felt I was nothing but a tool for you, just as I have been a hunting tool for FearClan. You may never see it, but you give me the same treatment as everyone else in FearClan and it hurts when you say you are fighting with me, when how you act is what I'm fighting against." Her shoulders slumped as she added in more softly. "I was tired of fighting with you most of all."

"I'm sorry..." Moth whispered, seeming to deflate. "I just thought it was the Quail thing and me not liking it..."

"As much as toms say we she-cats are all emotional and irrational, there is as much of a reason as there is for you to feel and act out." Lion pointed out, stretching as she rose to her paws. "The point is, I know I said harsh things, but it was never pointed at you as the cat you are trying to be. It was at the cat that FearClan made. I can fight for my justice as long as I need to, but you have to think on how you would feel being thrusted into BushClan and how they would treat you."

Moth looked away. "Not good I'm sure."

"Exactly. I clean dens, I hunt, I get told there is thorns in the moss every newleaf and I have to dig through despite knowing I didn't even let a thorn slip past." Lion explained, "Never once did you lend a helping paw. You saw my situation and you were too afraid to help. Afraid that they would turn on you like that."

"I was and I still am." Moth murmured, "I just don't want to be as hurt as you were through it all."

"I treated Hawk badly, but she still helped me more." Lion confessed, "I owe her to bring justice. You have held me back for a long time. If you really want to help, you will back me up on it on your own feelings. If not, then I guess you aren't ever ready to help me."

Moth was silent, searching her eyes and body language for anything that would help him. However, darkness clouded his gaze in the realization that she had nothing more to tell him. She said her apologies and accepted his words as fact even from the heat of the argument of the night before. She made her stand and that much was clear now.

"I'll have to try harder to find that courage then." Moth admitted.

Lion wrinkled her nose in a half-sneer. "When you have to try then you were never ready. But do what you feel is right." She turned away from him. "I can forgive you for your harsh words last night, but it will take a lot of time to forgive the many wrongs I felt you have done. Just as it will take you time to forgive me for the wrongs you felt I have done to you."

Moth was silent for a few heartbeats before answering her. "I will do my best if you do yours."

Lion stopped mid-step, glancing to the bright ginger tom before nodding. "Very well, I will accept that to your last breath."

The tom raised his tail slightly, a friendly signal from him to her. In response, she rose her own, flicking it at the tip. For the first time in many moons and seasons, they had finally reached the same edge of the valley of their life. A deep and terrifying valley full of coyotes, foxes, and free-running dogs. Yet it was a beautiful valley that held prey, warmth, and shelter. It was a place for them to see together and try to see what the other did.

At last, Lion was no longer feeling as alone as she had before. The longing in her heart seeming to have waned like the moon. She just hoped it would be enough to see them through to the end of leafbare and the beginning of newleaf. A great change was coming, one way or another, she could feel it in her throbbing wounds. Something was brewing beyond the horizon and she wasn't sure what it was. She just hoped they were all as ready as they thought for it.

...

Her dreams were of a forest she had never seen before. The river's beautiful sound lulling her into consciousness. Stars glittered within the babbling river, it's currents dazzling as though a thin sheet of ice was covering each and every droplet of water. A sound so familiar, yet so strange. Her fur ruffled as she moved forward, the wind bringing a familiar, yet unfamiliar scent to her nose. Narrowing her eyes, she crept through the reeds and underbrush carefully. Before her eyes was the shape of her dark ginger mother and across the river a tom with a pelt much like hers.

Eyes wide, but blinking gently as he lapped from the river idly. He acted cool, yet his hazel eyes never once left her mother. Starlight sparkled at their paws as the winds stilled and the tom's voice was carried to her at last. Warmth was inside his mew, cracking with a grief so powerful it shook Lion to her very core. "How was Lion when you visited her dreams?" he asked.

Finch looked up from the river, her tail tip twitching anxiously. "Frustrated. Just as I always have been."

"I always did wonder why you went to FearClan. You know I would have let you in BushClan, Finch." The tom meowed gently.

"The river is our home. It always had been." Finch reminded him with a sharp growl. "You betrayed Cedar somehow, so I thought it would be best for us to work together."

The tom blinked, hurt in his eyes. "I never wanted it to be taken from you."

"And you never said a word." her mother snarled, flattening her ears. "You let them take our home!"

"And you didn't give me a chance to explain." he shot back, anger sparking in his hazel eyes. "I never loved Cedar. She was a hairball that I couldn't get rid of. A burr that clung on tight no matter how hard I pulled. I betrayed her by letting her use me and then telling the truth because I wasn't involved with her kits like she thought I would be."

"And you thought that would solve everything?" Finch asked, her tail lashing.

The tom shook his head. "No, I did it because if I couldn't have who I truly loved, then she can't have what she really wants."

"Well she got it now!" Finch snorted, her fur slowly lying flat. "An illegitimate heir. She used that black tabby tom just as you used her kits to hurt her."

"I took the first born." he admitted, "I know she would have made them despise me if I didn't. So only two would despise me, or so I thought."

Her mother looked to her starry paws. "I don't think Lion ever could despise you. I never told her who her father was, what her true destiny would be. When I learned you were part of that wretched fragment, I tried so hard to erase you from her memory."

"I was going to leave them to live with you on that day. But that dumb she-cat followed me, saw me and made a ruckus so loud that everything fell apart. I should have never stayed, but the hurt and guilt made me struggle. The hurt that you left and the hurt that Cedar had forced you to hate me. It hurt worse to see you on FearClan's side."

"I truly believed you betrayed us Bush." Finch whispered.

Bush looked away. "Yet, I was the one with frustrations and hatred. I let it run myself to death. Yet, Cedar didn't have me as her only target. The kit I stole was next after me. When I died, I wondered where you had been all this time."

"I told Cedar a truth and a River-cat just like me had been ordered to end it. It's all my fault that I tried so hard to protect her, but instead I tossed her to a vicious dog! I hid in shame, realizing I had betrayed her while showing her that Pounce was never a tom to look up to."

Lion was silent, her mind starting to whirl as the mists of the river began to flood the dream. Was she truly dreaming of something that was real, or was it just what she wanted to hear and it manifested on it's own accord? She squeezed her eyes tight, trying to hide in the brush around her, afraid that she would be seen. Then a voice broke through, speaking into her ear fur with ease. A voice she could not name.

"Some secrets are hidden to save others from the pain or confusion. However, I felt you needed to see the truth for yourself. A true heiress, treated like dirt. At least you will finally rise to who you truly are."

...

In a gasp, Lion lifted her head, only moonlight shone onto the clearing. Quail's commanding yowl could be heard summoning them to their paws. She stretched, her muscles aching and her stomach growling in hunger. She hadn't eaten much, her troubled and anxious mind keeping her stomach full of butterflies. Now, she was certain of what was to come.

Stepping into the frosty moonlight, she saw Moth and his green eyes were looking paler then they were in the sunlight. He nodded to her with determination so she nodded back, her pelt smoothed now. She pushed the dream to the back of her mind, wanting to ignore it a bit longer as she met up with him and Quail in the center of the clearing. The toms stood at attention, willing to let her have the power over the group.

"You will lead us to your home territory." Quail meowed. "I will take up the rear with Moth to help with the kits as long as you lead the group."

Lion felt her claws sinking into the earth, before the same whisper at the end of her dream seemed to have been breathed into her ear from the wind. You are an heiress, you can lead them to your true home. It said, sounding so sure of itself. With a nod, she gave in. "You can count on me." I hope.

At long last, she raised her tail upright and charged through the group of cats, weaving her way through like a fish in water. Her paws seemed to tingle as she got to the head of the group and turned once to address every cat. "Stay close together and cross the thunderpath in pairs. I will let you know when it is safe to cross and I won't cross until every last one of you have."

She felt more invigorated then she had in moons. They nodded, seeming to be so willing to listen and obey. With one last look through the ranks, she turned and began the long trek home. It would take time for every cat to cross each thunderpath, but she wasn't going to go back on her word. For the greater good, she lead the way in hopes that all will be well and that Heather would be surprised to see that they have completed their mission and then some.

Author Note:

A little over 3,000 words! I think I could knock it up to 3,000 words a chapter if I really wanted to for the next one. I mean, I don't plan on leaving this AU for a while at least.

I am enjoying in writing this, I just hope everyone who reads this is healthy and so is the people they love and care about.

As always, have a fantastic day/night and thank you so much for reading. - NightSky