Disclaimer: Still don't own Harry Potter!

It was a joyous and loud group boarding the Hogwarts Express on September 1st. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were all excited for the new year, and relieved that Harry had continued to assure them the new DADA professor wouldn't be murderous or evil. Well…not murderous towards them anyway. They were a little skeptical about Harry's previously unknown friend showing up, but it was just a drop in the bucket of their friend's strangeness, and they had learned to roll with everything odd that happened around him. Charlie had turned up fourth year as a random friend, as well as Luna fifth year, so it wasn't unprecedented behavior. The strangest part of it all was the connection to Snape, which they still hadn't figured out or processed yet.

Harry, for his part, felt the best he had ever remembered feeling. With his constant pain gone, he finally realized what it felt like to be well. He hadn't realized the pain had been there until it was suddenly gone. With his new glasses and slightly improved eyesight, he was hoping to be even better at Quidditch as well. The ongoing potion regimen Snape had him on was definitely annoying though. In addition to his improved health, Harry was excited to have gotten special permission for his "pets" to accompany him to Hogwarts. He was planning to bring Nagini regardless of what the headmaster had said, but he was thankful the deceptively tiny snake was approved and didn't need to stay constantly hidden. The turtles, Bella and Cissy, were more reluctantly approved, but the headmaster finally caved when he realized he really couldn't trust Sirius to actually feed them and not purposefully let them die, as well as pretty much every other Order member. Since Harry was the only one willing to keep them alive, the turtles were safely secured in their aquarium on top of Harry's trunk and on their way to Hogwarts.

A few hours into the trip, Harry realized something was wrong. Malfoy hadn't made his traditional stop by their carriage to insult them. It wasn't like the blond to miss their regular beginning of the year confrontation. "Hey guys, Malfoy hasn't stopped by yet," he remarked to his carriage of Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna, and Ginny.

"And?..." Ron asked as he looked up from his chess game with Hermione. "That's a good thing, mate."

"Yeah, but his mum went missing over break," Harry reasoned with a tiny glance towards the turtles. "Maybe he's not doing so well if he's missing our normal meeting."

"What do you mean 'normal meeting?'" Ginny asked with a look at Harry like he might be losing it.

Harry smiled at her indulgently like she should know. "He stops by every year to insult me. It's tradition. We can't miss the tradition. Something's wrong with that."

"Harry…" Hermione started, mirroring Ginny's look. "Are you saying you like Malfoy stopping by to insult you?"

Harry shrugged, unconcerned with their looks. "It's familiar, you know? The year just won't feel right if it doesn't happen."

"You could go and insult him if you wanted," Neville suggested from where he was reading the Quibbler over Luna's shoulder and holding back a laugh.

Harry thought for a moment. "Nah, it just wouldn't be the same."

"I don't know how to help you then, mate. I think you're out of luck," Neville said, a couple snorts of laughter breaking through.

"You're mental, Harry," Ron added in with a shake of his head.

"And you wouldn't have him any other way," Luna said in her dreamy way, not looking up from the Quibbler.

Harry gave Luna and Ron smiles before standing and stepping carefully over Crookshanks to walk to the door. Hermione sighed, knowing the answer before asking the question. "Where are you going, Harry?"

"To check on Malfoy, of course," Harry responded as he pushed open the door and left.

"Sometimes I think that killing curse messed with his head as a baby," Ron commented to the closed door.

"He's just as sane as I am," Luna commented to no one's comfort.

Harry found Malfoy in a compartment with Parkinson, Zabini, Crabbe, and Goyle. He had hoped to find him alone, but as the Slytherin Prince seemed to always have an entourage, that had been wishful thinking. Smirking at the comments he knew his dad would be making if he were still in his head right now, Harry steeled himself and pushed open the door.

"What do you want, Potter?" Parkinson almost growled at him from where she had draped herself over Malfoy.

Harry ignored her with only a roll of his eyes before turning to Malfoy. "You ok, Malfoy?" He asked in concern.

The blond looked at him with a mixture of confusion, anger, annoyance, and a tiny bit of appreciation. "What do you mean, Potty?" He asked as caustically as Parkinson.

"Well, I heard about your mum, and I'm so very sorry," Harry said emphatically, doing his best to keep his gaze from flicking to Malfoy's left forearm where he knew the sleeve was covering a fresh Dark Mark. "And when you didn't stop by my carriage for our tradition, I got really worried. So, are you doing ok?"

All the Slytherins looked at him like he had three heads. "Our 'tradition?'" Malfoy asked, his look finally just settling on confusion.

"Yeah, it's like a 'welcome back to Hogwarts,'" Harry stated, not clearing anything up for them. When they continued to look confused, he sighed. "You stop by every year to insult me and my friends. You missed this year. You can't mess with the tradition."

"Have you gone completely insane?" Malfoy sputtered, looking like he was deciding between hexing the annoying Gryffindor, screaming insults, or recommending he go to the hospital wing when they arrived.

"People do keep asking me that, but I would really need to hear a good definition of insanity to be able to answer them," Harry smiled at him cheekily. "Anyway, if you ever need to talk, insult or otherwise, I'm here," Harry added, leaving a compartment of extremely confused Slytherins before they could decide on hexing him.

Overall, the year started surprisingly well considering they had a Dark Lord teaching DADA, Malfoy was on some secret mission for the insane version of said Dark Lord, and their Potions Professor was vehemently denying any relationship to the DADA Professor even when said DADA Professor was hanging all over him. Most of all, Harry was happy that pretty much all the Gryffindors were now calling their portrait guardian Hattie. He only had one year left, so he was glad to have made significant headway in that goal.

Harry didn't have DADA until the end of the first week, and he was excited to attend his dad's class for the first time where he had been told they would be dueling first thing. By the second day of class, all the students were already talking about the new professor. From what Harry had gleaned, the most common comment was that he was "eccentric." Sprinkled in though was also, genius, kind, weird, crazy, funny, and hot (to Harry's amusement/disgust).

Seamus plopped down beside Harry, Ron, and Hermione on the third day of class for dinner in the Great Hall. "Did you guys hear what happened in the seventh years' DADA class today?" He asked with an amused look on his face.

Harry immediately sat down his fork and turned his attention to his Irish roommate. "Please tell me it wasn't anything illegal?" He groaned.

Seamus laughed. "I don't think so anyway, but now that you mention it..."

"Ok, what happened then?" Harry steeled himself.

"Well, he took all the seventh years to the Quidditch pitch and got some crazy house elf with a paintball gun. He said he was testing their reflexes and situational awareness," Seamus laughed. "They were all covered in paint from head to toe by the end of class!"

"I really hope we're just dueling in our class like Harry said," Hermione glanced at her clean robes in concern.

So, Dad…how was class? Harry asked through the link as he laughed along with his friends.

Disappointing. He heard back. The students have abysmal reaction times. How do they think they're going to dodge an Avada Kedavra if they aren't paying attention to what's going on around them?!

It sounds like Dobby had some fun at least. Harry said, laughing louder but also agreeing that his dad had a point. If you couldn't shield for something, you needed to see it coming and dodge.

Oh yeah, he had a blast! Sev asked if he could shoot the students next time, but I think he might be a little too enthusiastic. Tom laughed through the link as he commented back.

Yeah, maybe keep him away from the paintball gun. By the way…study session at Snape's tonight?

Sure! I think he changed his password though.

As if that could keep us out! Harry laughed. He wondered when Snape would figure out how they kept getting into his rooms. It would be hilarious when he finally did.

You better not tell him. Tom warned. He has the good firewhiskey, and his couch is more comfortable than mine.

Oh please! I'm not telling him, and if he hasn't figured it out in all the years he's been living in those chambers, it's really his own fault.

Agreed!

It was only the end of the second week back, and Snape was already tired. His day had been full of first- and second-year classes. There were three cauldrons that exploded and Mr. Turner, a precocious second year, somehow succeeded in creating what looked to be a primordial form of life. Snape was certain that with his luck the new life form would develop sentience and decide to kill them all.

He walked back to his quarters looking forward to some peace and quiet to unwind. However, as he got closer, the solitude seemed less and less attractive. Maybe he had gotten used to Tom always being around over the summer but returning to a completely empty room seemed more lonely than relaxing. Tom and Potter had been showing up sporadically, but he had once again changed his password (for the third time). It was beyond him how they kept getting in. He was regretting changing the password just a little, hoping maybe for some company. It was in this darker mood that he nodded to Ebenezer, his portrait guardian, and opened the portrait hole and stepped through.

"Hey Professor!" Harry called from his couch where he was reading a book and scratching P.C. behind his one good ear with Nagini coiled on the floor beside him.

Snape looked at the teen curled up on his couch and Tom sitting at his kitchen table, marking sitting in from of him and a cup of tea in his hand, with a mixture of annoyance and relief. "What are the two of you doing in my chambers…again? Don't you both have your own rooms?"

"Yeah, but Gryffindor Tower doesn't have P.C.," Harry smiled at him unrepentantly. "And Nagini wanted a break from being tiny."

"You have the good tea. I ran out," Tom added as he lifted his cup up as proof.

"I made biscuits. They're on the counter," Harry said, motioning to the kitchen. "Dad said they're your favorites."

Snape strode over to the kitchen area, ready to berate the boy for leaving it in a mess but ended up looking at it in confusion. It was spotless. Frankly, it looked cleaner than when Snape left it that morning. And, sure enough, there was a plate of ginger biscuits, his favorite, sitting on the counter. He grabbed one and took a bite, almost moaning when he tasted the best ginger biscuit he had ever eaten.

"Here," Tom handed him a cup of tea he had fixed just the way Snape liked. Tom marked a large, red "T" on the essay in front of him and then pushed the whole pile to the side to look attentively at Severus. "Harry's a good cook, right?"

Snape nodded in wonder at the amazing biscuit. "So, how was your day?" Tom continued with a smile.

Snape almost choked on the bit of biscuit he was eating when an unbidden thought flitted through his mind. The thought was: I wonder if this is what family feels like. Finally, he chewed and swallowed. "Terrible," he answered. "Three exploded cauldrons, and Mr. Turner succeeded in creating some new form of primordial life instead of his shrinking potion."

Harry laughed from the couch. "Oh no! Knowing our luck, it'll develop sentience and try to kill us all!"

Snape settled back into his chair and looked at his no-longer empty chambers. He took another bite of biscuit and smiled one of his very rare, genuine smiles. "Where in Merlin's name do your friends believe you to be every evening?" He asked Potter as he settled in more.

Harry smirked at him. "I've trained them well since first year," he responded with a laugh. "They just don't ask questions anymore. Neville told me that Ron thinks I'm always in the library, Hermione thinks I'm at the Quidditch pitch, and if they're ever proven wrong, they both think I'm with Luna."

"Where does Mr. Longbottom believe you to be?" Snape asked before taking another bite of the annoyingly delicious biscuit.

"With you," Harry smiled at him.

Tom laughed and poured himself more tea. "Why did you tell Neville you're with Sev?"

Harry shot Snape a reprimanding look. "Because he's terrified of you, Professor. That's not right. I've been trying to humanize you in his eyes. You really should be ashamed of yourself."

Snape almost choked on a laugh. "Perish the thought! My reputation is hard-won. Stop trying to make me out to be some kind-of," he shuddered. "mentor."

"Just let it go, Sev," Tom patted his hand. "It's his new goal. He succeeded in getting everyone to call Hattie by her name, now his new goal it to convince everyone you're a caring individual."

"And get Malfoy to confide in me," Harry added on. "You forgot that part."

"Would you like the Dark Lord to start working for world peace now as well?" Snape asked sarcastically.

Harry and Tom both looked at him in amusement. Harry motioned to Tom with a smile. "Nope, already achieved that…see." Snape groaned and rubbed his temples knowing now that, yes, this was what family felt like.

Dear Harry,

How's your sixth year going? If I remember correctly, this year is the one where the relationship drama starts really picking up. Any good gossip you want to send my way?

Also…How's the new DADA professor? Is he settling in well? And, how are you doing with it now? I would assume you might still be a little lonely.

Oh, by the way, I have the big tent now, so whenever you finally make it out here, we have plenty of space! No, Steve didn't die, no need of your professional help. He got offered a position in Asia at a reserve there. I really think Norboke misses him though. You'll have to come and explain everything to them this next summer.

Charlie

Missing You

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Dear Charlie,

Urgh! Ron and Hermione! Someone needs to cast a sticking charm on them both and make them stay in a room until they just confess they like each other! I can't take the drama anymore! Save me!

On that same note, our new DADA professor and our illustrious potions master are in this big argument now because Tom wants Snape to stop spying for his own safety. They're still definitely together but irritate each other and complain all the time. It's really cutting into my relaxation time in their chambers at night. I'm the odd man out in all the relationships. I think Tom's doing well though. He only makes about one snide comment a day about Dumbledore, and as far as I can tell, is sticking to the approved curriculum with only minor exceptions.

As for me, well, yes, I'm lonely. I'm used to having company 24/7. I see Tom every day, and I can still communicate with him through the link, but it's just not the same. I know it'll get better, but I'm just not there yet.

I miss you too, Charlie. You're the only sane one in this bunch, even though you probably did kill Steve. Not that I'm saying you shouldn't find someone special for your life as well, but I'm just glad you know everything and will listen.

Harry

Missing the Voice in my Head

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Dear Harry,

What about you? Anyone that strikes your fancy? I might not give the best relationship advice, being chronically single myself, but I'm happy to try.

I'm sorry to hear that you're so lonely. I really can't imagine, not having had someone in my head besides myself. Floo call me anytime. I'm sure Tom or Snape one would let you use theirs.

Also, I thought Ginny told me that Ron was dating someone named Lavender Brown. When did that end? I think Tom and Snape could use the sticking charm as well to sort it all out. If they don't kill each other, it'll be love.

Steve is alive! I promise you. I instructed him to owl you for proof of life, so be expecting it soon.

Charlie

Floo Password is Necromancer

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Dear Charlie,

Aww, you set up your floo password just for me! Get ready, I plan to call you all the time!

As for relationships, you are in the very small and exclusive club that knows this war is coming to a head very soon. Hopefully, I'll be alive at the end of it, but well, we really don't know. So…I'm not looking for a relationship. Not until everything settles down anyway. I couldn't do that to someone I cared about.

Lavender Brown! Urgh, yes, they're still together, but they are horrible together. It won't last long. Want to get in on the betting pool with me, Fred, George, and Ginny? I give it three more weeks.

By the way, I heard from Steve. I'll begrudgingly admit that he might be alive for now. I still haven't seen him in person though. He very well could be a ghost and got someone to write the letter for him.

Hey, will we see you at Christmas? Oh, and career question, how do the Romanians feel about black magic, specifically Necromancy?

Harry

Staying out of Snape and the Dark Lord's Relationship

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Dear Harry,

Of course, I'll be there at Christmas! I'd never miss seeing you over the holidays, and yeah, I guess my family as well.

Hey, put me down for a galleon for the beginning of spring term in the betting pool. I think Ron and Lavender will break up right after the holidays.

The Romanians are pretty accepting of the dark arts. As far as Necromancy goes, they aren't against it, but people who practice are so rare that I don't think they have one. The locals I've gotten close to seem to think Necromancy is some revered art that's on the level of a saint. So…career-wise, maybe worth considering? You'd definitely still be famous though, just for something else. I'd be happy to have you here. As for the rest of it, Sunday night, floo me. We need to talk about your less than positive beliefs in your survival. Send me an owl with the time, and I'll be there.

Charlie

Sunday Night…Be There!

A/N: I'm going to start an "up next" section here at the end, so...

Up Next: Someone's got to figure out something's different about Harry's wand, right? Also, ghosts and necromancers, friends or enemies?