So, I accidentally uploaded both Chapter 29 and Chapter 30 in one document. I have now split them up, determining not to withhold chapter 30 even though it wasn't quite done being edited. However, if you didn't read them when they were both posted on April 17, you should start with the previous chapter.
Oh, and for anyone wondering how my cat Sarah is doing, she got her brace off after 4 weeks. She is limping, but is using her hurt leg. The vet is hopeful that she will make a full recovery.
Chapter 30: Updating Edwin
Had I known how dinner at my London home would be, I might have rather stayed and had dinner at Mr. Hurst's house. For instead of Bingley's jovial conversation, it all began so awkwardly, very unlike how it usually was when I dined with Edwin and Georgiana.
No one seemed to know what topic to discuss, and I was of no help there. Edwin and I could not talk of Miss Vaughn before my sister; Georgiana and I could not discuss what we had done at Pemberley or our upcoming meetings with Judge Darcy or Lady Catherine. Edwin brought up the roads of all things, and then the weather, as if we were but indifferent acquaintances.
Oh, how I wished Georgiana had not decided upon multiple removes! I suppose I could have simply declared our dinner finished but I had no wish to insult her hostess skills.
Georgiana then made some attempt to canvas how soon it might be before the Theatre Royal would be completed (the whole building having been lost to fire in 1809). However, none of us knew much about the matter and the best I could wager was "Hopefully by the end of this year."
Georgiana then tried again, "Brother, how was your visit with Mr. Bingley?"
Suddenly Edwin took an interest, "Yes, Brother, how was it?" He imitated Georgiana's tone and inflection. "Is his whole family well? Has Miss Bingley returned from her journey?"
I responded, "They are all well and no, she is not yet returned." That put an end to that exchange.
Thinking of my conversation with Bingley helped me happen upon a new topic. I asked, "Georgiana, what think you of the lute-harp? Should you wish to have one?" I had been planning on surprising her with a new piano-forte at Pemberley, one that her music master had recommended, but now wondered if that would indeed be the gift she might desire most.
"Oh, Brother, I think you mean the harp-lute and I should indeed!" Georgiana smiled broadly. "I had been thinking about asking you for one, but we have been well occupied by other concerns recently. When I last visited Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley, Miss Bingley let me try hers. At first, I thought it might be rather an awkward instrument, for some of the strings are on the thicker neck and some are in-between, but it rests in the lap quite nicely and is very lovely. And just think, it could easily be transported on a trip, allow diversion wherever I might be. The piano-fortes and harps are all good and well, but lately it seems everyone wants to try their hand at Light's harp-lute and now I understand why."
Edwin contributed about some performances he had seen on the instrument and what songs had been played upon it, concluding, "It seems to be a favorite among the new debutants."
By the end of this discussion, I was quite convinced I needed to buy my sister a harp-lute and was wondering if there was any way to obtain one before we left for Rosings.
When dinner was concluded, Georgiana declared, "I am quite tired and so I bid you goodnight for I am bound for bed."
"I may be gone at first light," Edwin told her, and they exchanged their goodbyes.
When we were alone and back in the library, I updated Edwin on the situation with Miss Vaughn and he seemed pleased. "I am glad," said he, "that even if Bingley, you or I had the inclination that we could not find her ourselves, at least not easily."
Although I wished I could share with Edwin what had transpired with his father relative to the Bennets, find out if he would really seek to poison or hurt them based on my defiance of his dictates for whom I should marry, I dared not do so directly. Instead, I asked him, "Edwin, do you fear your father being vengeful based on how you have defied him?"
"I have not much fear for myself, for I am his flesh and blood, but he can certainly make my life very difficult."
"And if you were not his son?"
"He can be cruel, seems to hold grudges, does seek to punish those who oppose him. In matters of business and politics he always wants to win, be the king of the castle. But a mere win is not enough, for he likes to prove his opponents to be foolhardy for not going along with him. He seems to hold grudges, but few truly oppose him for long."
Edwin paused and seemed to reflect for a bit, "However, it seems there is one or two who I thought he disliked for their past actions who then seemed to become his friends, but I am not sure what turned the tide in his feelings toward them."
This reminded me, of something, but I was not sure how to address the matter. I finally simply said, "I have been thinking about names lately. Do you know how you came to be named Edwin?"
"The Earl once said he chose my name as it belonged to one of his friends. However, I have never met him. I do not know if they had a falling out or, perhaps, he is dead, for my father never spoke of him again.
"The Earl did talk about your name, however, more than once in fact. He said he thought that your father chose the name as a sort of apology to him, an acknowledgment of the superiority of the Fitzwilliams to the Darcys. But then, and this is only what he said and certainly not what I believe, at many other times he complained about how it was not good that our family name be associated with a simpleton. He told me, repeatedly, that I needed to help you, so that you would not embarrass our whole family and in doing so I might win the favor of your father."
Apparently concluding this topic was at an end, Edwin then told me, "My mother would know just how you can get a harp-lute for Georgiana."
"Perhaps, but I have no wish to have any intercourse with the woman who would join in the Earl's plan to make my sister marry one of your brothers."
"This I understand, but she is simply under his thumb as are the rest of us. It has not been an easy life for her, I am sure, although she has not confided in me about it. Would you have any objection if I were to find out the information from her for you?"
I shrugged. Edwin must have taken this as a "yes" for he said, "I shall send her a note this evening inquiring as to how it is to be done and see if she can send me my clothing and other personal effects here. For you see, when I came here it was with nothing but my valet, our horses and what could fit in my saddle bags."
"If Lady Matlock sends those things hither, how shall you take them to Pemberley?"
"Can you not send them with me in a carriage?"
I shook my head in negation. Other than the open carriage I kept in London for Georgiana, I only had the two carriages we would use to visit Rosings. "You must make do until I return to Pemberley again. Should your mother send anything, we will bring it with us when we return."
Edwin nodded, "I suppose as I am to live upon your charity, that will do."
He was silent for several long moments and I began to consider whether I, too, should excuse myself and go to bed. I had almost decided to do just that when Edwin began to speak again.
"These last few days I have spent much time in reflection, thinking about my life and how everything ended up this way. Often my mind has dwelt on how your father differed from mine. Whereas, I have always felt myself to be a mere instrument, a tool of the Earl's to be used in whatever manner he saw fit, things were never like that with your father. Uncle Darcy seemed to see me, find value in me for myself beyond just how I could help with you. He was a good man, taken far too soon."
I gave a nod in acknowledgment. My feelings about my own father were rather complicated and I was not sure I had the words for them.
"Based on all this reflection, it has occurred to me that perhaps when my father told me to do something relative to you because he and your father desired it, that perhaps it was all at the Earl's behest, that the instructions were purely from the Earl."
"Surely they agreed on much." I responded. "I know that it was the Earl who suggested Governess Hayes sort me out and my father agreed."
"But your father had an honor about him. Certain actions my father instructed me to take towards you, where he represented what your father wanted, perhaps, just perhaps, Uncle Darcy knew nothing of them."
"Does it even matter now?" I asked.
"I think it does." Edwin looked me in the eyes and lightly rested a hand on my shoulder for just a moment. "I do not wish you to think your father less honorable than he was. While the Earl seems to care little for the happiness of his wife, have no respect in general for womankind, your father was not like that."
"You are right. He was not. He was very devoted to my mother." I recollected, from my own observations. recalling what they wrote in the letters to one another and how Mother wrote of him in her journals.
Edwin commented, "I have never known your father to lie, but my own? Lies are not a stranger to his tongue."
"What does this pertain to?" I asked, a bit frustrated. I wanted the conversation to end already, have some more time to myself.
"It is just, I have been thinking about when my father instructed that he and Uncle Darcy wanted to make sure you knew how to behave with a woman, told me to get you to a nanny house. I have been thinking that such an instruction seems much more in keeping with the Earl's character than with your father's. It has occurred to me that your father was nothing if not meticulous in his planning and if he truly wanted this done, he would have made arrangements for a Cyprian himself, someone well skilled at teaching green men what they need to know, rather than put it off to be handled at my discretion. In reflecting on it all now, perhaps that was entirely my father's own idea. Perhaps it was a test to see whether you had any interest in women at all."
I took a few moments to think upon that. Was it not the Earl that I had seen making unwelcome advances to Miss Vaughn when she was his daughter's governess? Was it not the Earl who kept a mistress (while my father had never had one to the best of my knowledge)? Had not Edwin recently told me that his father had a whole "stable" of women and had desired to add Miss Vaughn to his collection?
I had believed Edwin when he told me that both our fathers wanted me to learn such things but in reflecting what I knew of my father, I thought such an action to be uncharacteristic of him. I took a little time to readjust the view this change made in how I perceived my father. It pleased me.
"I think you are right," I told him. "Thank you."
Then Edwin bid me goodnight, pausing to tell me, "Perhaps when I next see you, you shall be bringing your bride home to Pemberley."
I said nothing but, "Good night."