Chapter 34
Levi XII – You're Lucky I Love You
His mind still buzzes as he walks out of his quarters.
Signe's soft skin, her thighs pressed on either side of his lap, her rough hands fisting his shirt and then grabbing him behind the head. The delicious friction of her hips grinding against his own. Damn it. His own lips still feel raw from kissing her senseless, with his brain barely registering the fact that he is ravishing her in his office, so early in the morning, with an important meeting in less than thirty minutes. If he had not reined himself in, he could have done so much more than just ravish her.
And why not, when she is so soft against him and so willing above him?
The only thing that's keeping the blood away from his brain and rushing further south is the fact that Erwin Smith is discussing about their budget and route for the next expedition. It is distasteful to think about the Commander's younger sister seated on Levi's lap, in the Commander's very presence.
Besides, that is downright creepy.
And disrespectful.
And just plain eww.
Levi listens to the explanations with full attention, until someone knocks on the door. For some weird reason, Mike lifts his head up, takes a sniff, and Erwin immediately registers that it might be his sister. The door opens. It is Signe all right, requesting for his presence. He scowls at her. What can she want with him now? Can't she see that he is in the middle of an important meeting?
"Go on ahead," the Commander gives his permission.
"What now, you brat?" Levi hisses once the door is shut.
Sieglinde explains something something something about a female guest waiting for him downstairs. Since when did he care about making friends and inviting them to his workplace?
Because: one, he is not as friendly as Signe is or as charming as Erwin; two, he could care less about making more dumbass friends; and three, he doesn't understand why there is a female guest waiting for him.
In his defense, he only knows a handful of women.
So who could this little shit be?
"Did she say a name?"
"Eloise," Sieglinde murmurs.
It feels as if the air is knocked from his lungs. Levi wants to mumble another curse another his breath. But what can that do? The little shit is already here. He is unlucky that Sieglinde is the one to admit the guest into the lobby. Knowing Signe, she would be making her observations the moment Eloise stepped into Scout territory and opened her damned mouth.
Shit, shit, shit. He races across the staircase and thunders towards the lobby.
The last time he saw Eloise Conzelmann, she was working in one of the taverns in the Underground City. Blonde, green-eyed, petite. Once upon a time, Isabel thought she was pretty. Some half a year later, Levi could see that the months have made no changes in Eloise. Still small and pretty.
Still a little shit, too.
Levi growls as he makes his approach, when Eloise suddenly starts up at the sight of him. She gives a little cry of relief and throws herself in his arms. The sudden jump makes him stagger a bit in his balance, before taking a few steps backwards.
What the hell is happening here? Why is Eloise sniffing against his shoulder? Damned brat is pressing herself against his body.
Tentatively, he puts his hands on her shoulder, neither pushing nor pulling.
"What the hell are you doing here? How did you find me?"
Eloise draws back to look at him with bright green eyes. "Is this your way of greeting an old friend?"
Levi curls his lips into a blatant disgust. "Please don't fucking tell me there's a five-year-old brat waiting outside," he rasps, and wishes he never spoke.
Signe is still watching them. Signe is sharp, and observant, and Levi glances at her direction and−
Sieglinde Smith is glaring daggers at him.
Well, shit. I lived a good life.
He turns away from Eloise and—
"Wait, Signe… This isn't… This isn't what it looks like−"
She frowns at the lame excuse.
Leave flowers at my grave.
He swears Sieglinde would have gut him there and then with one of her hidden blades, but then Dita Ness bursts out of nowhere and exclaims that the horses are running free around the enclosure. The Captain watches, quite helpless, as both Team Leader and combat instructor disappear outside the building. Knowing Signe, she would be doing her best to make the repairs to keep herself busy.
Finally, the blonde little idiot steps away from him.
He sneers at the possible Underground filth she attached to his clothes. "Get out of my face, brat."
"Please." She shakes her head, keeping her cloak loose about her. "I need your help, Levi."
"No, you don't. Get out of here. You shouldn't even be here."
"Just−listen! Please!" Tears are rushing to her eyes, reminding him of Signe. Damn it. He hates it when women are playing the innocent victim to get what they want. Eloise wipes her eyes with her sleeves. She opens her mouth to say something better, but she comes up with nothing but another pathetic "Please…"
He is aware that if he doesn't change his approach, this might take longer than it should be. He glances outside the window where Dita Ness and his team are still collecting the wild horses. Sieglinde is nowhere to be found. He scowls. The sooner this is over, the better.
He turns his heels and says over his shoulder, "Come with me."
Taking Eloise to his office might be a bad idea, but he is already opening the door for misgivings. His instincts kick in, his gaze sweeping over the room. He nods in appreciation that Signe indeed cleaned up, brought down the laundry basket even, before she started for the day. At least the brat is learning to clean up after her own mess.
"Have a seat," the Captain says formally, retaining some sense of authority for himself.
"Thank you." Eloise sits from across him, hands folded in her lap.
"What is this all about?"
"I came here because I heard news that you're Captain in the Scouts now."
"That's hardly a reason to come here at all. I don't expect any congratulatory gift from you," he says coldly, leering at her with his intimidating gaze. Unlike Signe or Hange, who never balk, Eloise does. "We were never friends back in the Underground, and we sure as hell are not afterwards. What do you want?"
Eloise lowers her eyes. "I need your help."
"No shit. You want to explain or do you want me to make guesses?"
"A few days ago, there was a raid in the Underground City," she explains, earning a little nod from the Captain, although there is an immediate buzzing in his mind. She doesn't seem to notice his discomfort, however. "The Military Police ambushed old Freisler's clinic. You know, the… drug hub."
"I remember." He remembers too well that Freisler's gang tried recruiting him once.
"There was an all-out confrontation with the MPs. So many people died, including Ronald."
"Ronald?" Levi purses his lips, remembering a young man with dark hair and lean build.
"Yes," she whispers. She is crying again. She sniffs and wipes with her sleeve. "A bastard from the Military Police cut his stomach open like a fish. Like his life didn't matter at all. A complete demon to kill someone else… My Ronald…"
He drums his fingers over the table. "So what would you have me do?"
Gingerly, Eloise opens her cloak, revealing the large, round curve of her belly.
The Captain almost falls from his chair.
"Seven months," she whispers, holding back more tears. "Ronald's child…"
"Oh, shit," he hears himself say, unable to make more of the situation. He opens and closes his mouth, his throat going dry again. He immediately thinks back on her journey from Underground to Trost, all alone, and under this freezing temperature even. "H-How did you even escape the Underground? You know surface citizenship documents cost a fortune, right?"
"I know," she murmurs and caresses her belly. "Someone helped me plagiarize a document so I could come above the ground." Then her head shoots up, eyes wide with fright. "D-Don't worry, Levi! It won't trouble you with the Scouts! No one knows I'm here! I won't jeopardize your position in the Scouts! I swear!"
"Never mind that." The last thing he wants is a pregnant woman having stomach pains in his office. "So you came all the way here from Wall Sheena on a what, as a stowaway?" Eloise nods feebly. Levi sighs and covers his face with a hand. "Okay, you're here now. It doesn't matter how you got above ground. What do you want from me?"
"I need… Can you… give me a place to stay?"
Levi removes his hand to glare at her. "Obviously, you cannot stay here in the Scouts. We don't have the resources to house another person, and a pregnant woman at that. And what are you gonna do here?"
She is shrinking even more at his cold tone. "I can… I can work. I can cook and do the laundry…"
"Not when you're seven months pregnant, no."
"Please, Levi!" She reaches out for his hand on the table and holds it for a fraction of a second−before the Captain hisses and withdraws his hand. Her fingers grasp nothing but the air then. She bows her head. "I don't want to go back there… I don't want to live another day in that place. My child… My baby deserves a good life above the ground, in the sunlight… Please, I'll do anything! Please don't send me back there."
"Tch. You really placed me in a big predicament here, you know?"
"You're the only one I know above ground," she murmurs shakily. "You're the only one I can turn to…"
Her hand caresses her belly again, and Levi gets queasy whenever she does that. Her belly looks so round and big that he is sure the brat in there can pop out any second.
"I lost my love, my Ronald… My everything… I don't want to lose my baby in that cruel, dark place too…"
See? This is the reason why Levi is so averse to commitment. One day, you are all happy, living the best time of your life, and the next… someone is dead, and the other is left hurting and weeping. Any soldier in the Survey Corps knows the risk. Any soldier can understand someone's reluctance to be part of something bigger in life.
He already swallowed all those fears for Sieglinde.
Levi watches the tears on Eloise's face and purses his lips. He knows he can be unapproachable and cold at times, but he would be damned if he turns a lonely pregnant woman away in this condition, in this weather. He glances over his shoulder, peering outside the window. The snowfall is steady. He wonders if Signe is shivering and sneezing in her workshop.
He clicks his tongue and fidgets in his seat. He cannot offer anything. Not a comfort. Not a job. Certainly not a place to stay here. Erwin Smith would have his nape in a second. Shit. He knows nothing about a woman's pregnancy. Would be a good time to have Sieglinde or Petra or even Hange at this time.
Someone knocks on his door. He and Eloise turn to it.
"Come in."
"Excuse me for the intrusion, Levi!"
He could recognize that obnoxious voice anytime, anywhere.
Hange blinks behind her glasses at Eloise, and then smiles as she approaches the table. "Sorry for interrupting, but the meeting is adjourned and Erwin wanted me to give you back these reports, these teams for the next expedition, and these little notes you missed!"
Expect Erwin Smith to be so thorough.
"I'll pore over them as soon as I can. Thanks."
"No worries! Oh, by any chance, do you think Sieg can take her place in my squad next expedition?"
"She's mine," Levi growls, and Hange's face brightens with extreme delight. "She belongs in my squad."
"Oho! So possessive there, Captain!" She winks.
Instead of rising to a playful banter, Levi shifts to a more business-like tone. "By the way, this is my, err, acquaintance, Eloise Conzelmann. Eloise, this is the Survey Corps' resident Titan freak, Shitty Glasses, Four Eyes, who doesn't comb her hair and change clothes for weeks at a time, who sniffs at Titan saliva, and who also most likely wets herself just thinking about them−Hange Zoë."
Hange rolls her eyes at the Captain. "You're so hilarious, Levi." Then she beams down at Eloise and shakes her hand. "A pleasure! Wow! I didn't know Levi has other friends!"
"We're not friends," he points out.
"Thank you for having me here," says Eloise.
"Anyway, this brat needs a place to stay," Levi goes to the main point. "We can't house her in any Scout headquarters, but she as hell cannot stay out there in the streets. Maybe you know someone who can adopt her for the time being? An orphanage, maybe?"
"Levi, she can't go to an orphanage!" Hange shrieks.
"It was a joke."
"Well…" Hange wiggles her lips as she stares down on Eloise. "Oh! I get it! Moblit's family has a bakery here in Trost. Maybe he can get you a spot there−Say no more! I will go and tell him! Leave it all to me!" The enthusiastic researcher grins and shoots out of the door.
The Captain blinks. "That was easy."
Eloise sighs in relief, a faint smile on her lips. "I hope this goes on well."
"Guess we will have to wait for updates." He grumbles and starts checking at his new pile of paperwork, squinting at Hange's gibberish scribbles about the topic they discussed in the meeting after he left. The handwriting looks like some chicken scratched its feet with ink. What the hell. He keeps reading, and reading, and feels the weight of his guest's eyes on him.
"Blink, brat."
"A-Ah, sorry. I didn't mean to stare. It's just that… You seem different, Levi."
"Oh, yeah? What's that supposed to mean?"
"You seem… more at peace here…"
He flips to another page.
"And kinder…"
He puts his signature on one of the proposals.
"And more talkative…"
He rolls his eyes. I've always been so talkative.
"And happier…"
He glares at her above the paper. "Does this face look happy to you?"
Eloise laughs, one gloved hand covering her mouth. "Well, you look happier than you were back then. The world underground felt so dark and cramped, didn't it? Now that I'm here, I can tell how much I have missed such a different world. Makes you appreciate the little things in life."
He nods, returning to his work. "If you're in the Scouts, it makes you appreciate life even more."
"By the way, didn't Isabel and Furlan join you in the Scouts? Where are they?"
"They−" He gnashes his teeth together, bone on bone, and fights the urge to glare at her. It is not her fault that she knows nothing. It is not her fault his friends are no longer here. It was the Titans, and the Titans alone. He rolls his shoulders back and fixes her an even stare. "They died during the first expedition."
"Oh." She casts her eyes down. "I'm sorry."
"So." He spins his pen around his fingers and points at her belly. "Boy or girl?"
"I don't know." Her smile is soft, motherly. She looks more mature than her twenty-something years. Perhaps the reality of life knocked some sense into her. "If I can, I want to have a baby daughter."
"Can't see why." His nose wrinkles. Son or daughter, babies are high maintenance for the soldier in him.
"If I have a daughter, do you think I can name her Isabel?"
For a moment there, his expression mellows out. The sneer fades away. He remembers the red-haired rascal, green eyes always alight with curiosity and energy. On the darkest, bleakest nights, Isabel was his comfort. And Furlan was his rock.
He closes his eyes and sighs. "I think that would be nice."
Shitty Glasses returns a few moments later with Moblit Berner in tow. They start discussing the circumstances of Eloise's transfer from the headquarters to his family's home. According to the Vice Squad Leader, his family owns and operates a modest bakery at the very center of town, and that his mother might be delighted to have a new worker under her wing. That's to say that his mother doesn't take Eloise's delicate health at the moment.
Moblit takes one glance at the curved belly and pales a little. "Well, she can stay in the house as a boarder and help around the shop as long as she can," he says. "At your last trimester, you are in a more precarious situation. You shouldn't even be moving around too much at this stage."
Eloise shakes her head, green eyes bright with resolve. "I can still work to earn my place in your house," she says, desperate. "I can cook and sweep and wash dishes. I can babysit if you have younger siblings."
"You don't have to do any of those," Moblit reassures her, already sweating. "I can talk to my mother and ask her to give you a place to stay. Maybe until after you give birth."
"If her stay only extends until she gives birth, then where would she and the baby go?" Levi asks.
"Ah, yes, that's right," Moblit mumbles uncertainly.
"I can go find another place to stay," Eloise says. "I just need one now. Please."
"You can stay and live with the Berners under their good will. After the child's birth, you can decide if you want to stay there or head out with your child. At this rate, you will give birth at the height of the winter season," Hange explains reasonably. "You need a good, warm place for yourself. If Moblit says his family would agree, then that's already your reassurance. I'm sorry that we can't do more for you, Eloise, but this is all we could offer you."
The blonde nods. "Thank you. All of you. The Scouts are so kind…"
Hange smiles and crouches next to her seat. "There, there now. No need to cry. It will be all okay. Everything's gonna be okay. We might be busy, but expect us to visit you from time to time. And who knows?! Maybe we can be godparents to your baby? What d'you say, Levi?"
"No."
"You're so mean!" Hange pouts. "Whatever! Sieg can take your place as a godparent."
"Sieg?" Eloise blinks. She must have remembered the young woman who admitted her into the premises.
"Yeah!" Hange gushes, brown eyes twinkling. "Levi's girlfriend!"
An eraser flies across the room and hits her on the head.
"Ow! Levi, what was that for?!"
"You're too noisy," he growls at her. "Are we done here? Moblit, can you ensure that your family would adopt this brat for the time being?" The Vice Squad Leader nods. "Good. Get someone to arrange the carriage to escort her there. Send someone from your own squad, Four Eyes. I have paperwork to finish."
"Very well!" Hange stands and offers a hand to Eloise. "Come along! I'll take you to the Berners! It's about time I thank Mama Berner for gifting me such a reliable Vice Squad Leader." She ruffles Moblit's brown hair and waves at the Captain. "See you, Levi!"
"Sure. Whatever. Keep watch on her, you brats." He walks them over to the door.
Eloise turns her heels and embraces him tightly. This time, he could feel every inch of her curved belly pressing against his stomach. She sighs and whispers in his ear. "Thank you so much, Levi. Really, I don't have the words… You're too kind and good for this world. Your girlfriend is lucky to have you."
He flinches at the potent word.
"I wish you every happiness." She draws back, cupping his cheek, and her eyes are brimming with tears. "I wish you safety during your expeditions."
He nods, a strange warm feeling settling in his guts. "Thanks, and you're welcome." He glances at her belly, so round and hard and ugh. "Take care of yourself out there."
She smiles as she follows Hange and Moblit down the hallway.
Levi watches them go until they round the corner. At least one problem over. One done, and some three hundred more to go. It is barely past lunchtime but he already feels so tired. His stomach grumbles, as if reminding him to eat.
With a sigh, he closes the door behind him and proceeds to the mess hall. There should be some leftover foods from last night's one hell of a party.
He spots Erwin and Mike eating together. He grabs a tray of warm soup, bread, glazed chicken and joins them at their table. "What did I miss in the meeting?"
"Didn't Hange make notes for you?" asks Erwin.
"Yeah, but her handwriting is gibberish as shit."
Mike chortles.
Erwin himself also chuckles. "You sound angry, Levi."
"Not really. Just stressed."
"For what it's worth, I think this might lift your spirits." Erwin produces a small box from beside him. "When Signe informed us of her plans for last night, I figured something was up. I checked your documents and found out it was, indeed, your birthday last night. Needless to say, I shared the information with Mother and she sent me this as a gift from the family."
"What is this?" Levi takes the box and reads the label. "A cornflower tea?"
"It's black tea with a cornflower blend, grew from Mother's own gardens," Erwin explains. "You will find the taste and scent exquisite. Plus, the cornflower gives the tea a dark blue color." He takes a sip from his own coffee. "I hope you enjoy it."
"Thank you." He has never tried any cornflower blend before. This looks promising. "And I should thank your mother for pouring the time and effort for something so trivial."
"It's not that trivial, Levi." Erwin smiles.
"I'm not falling behind," says Mike, whipping out something from his jacket as well.
"People are giving me gifts?" Levi says blandly. "I'm concerned about you guys."
"It's a once in a year occurrence." Mike chuckles and slams a mini duster on the table. The Captain raises his eyebrow in amusement. "Excuse me for the lack of gift wrappers or ribbons. Happy birthday, Levi."
"Where'd you get that?" Erwin asks.
"I went out shopping with the whirlwind yesterday. That thing was on sale. Had to get it, you know."
"You shitheads are not expecting something in return, are you?" Levi deadpans.
"Us?" Erwin gasps mockingly, and then that shitty innocent smile again. "Of course not, Levi."
"This is what friends are for," Mike agrees, poking the fruit in his plate. "Besides, you're doing the budget for tomorrow's request for the supplies. I'm on gas refill requests already."
"I knew it." Levi frowns at them both. "Whenever Erwin smiles like a creepy old man, I just know."
"Careful." Mike smirks. "He's sensitive about his age."
"I feel so attacked," Erwin complains, returning the frown. "Where's my sister to defend me from this abuse?"
After the mumbo jumbo of their lunch, Levi wanders around the headquarters to ensure that everything is back to normal. He spots the clothes and sheets on the clotheslines. He idles long enough by the stables, asking Dita Ness where Sieglinde could be. According to the older man, the combat instructor went out to town to procure some materials needed for the gate's repairs. Nodding, the Captain thanks Dita and ambles back to his office.
The little silver-haired brat sure is taking her time outdoors. Levi feels like he should be concerned, considering how he and Sieglinde parted earlier that morning. She had frowned and glared at him and Eloise. Although her suspicions are unfounded, she does not know it yet. He feels like he should apologize or something, clear the suspicious air hanging around them.
He could do that when she gets back, whenever that is.
Two hours later, Hange and Moblit return from their trip and report immediately to him. Much to his relief, the tension ebbing more from his system, Moblit's mother was delighted to have a young woman to help her around the house, since Moblit has only ever had older and younger brothers. His mother was more than happy to accommodate a daughter-figure until her due date.
There had been a confusion, though, Hange informs him. Moblit's mother thought Eloise was her son's secret lover. After excessive explanations and much sweating from Moblit's part, his mother understood the situation and still welcomed Eloise into their warm little home.
Levi has to admit: he lets out a sigh of relief upon hearing the good news.
No decent human being would wish ill for a pregnant woman under this freezing temperature. A woman not much older than Sieglinde, all alone in the world with no friends and a baby on the way. It makes his skin crawl at the thought of rearing a baby in a foreign place.
And speaking of Sieglinde…
When the hell is that little shit gonna show herself?
Nevertheless, Levi buries himself back to work for a few more hours. He could hardly trouble himself with a soldier who can take care of herself, wherever she is. He just hopes there's no unlucky pervert who happens to brush hands with her downtown. He frowns but keeps on poring through the many documents piled up, signing some proposals, and scribbling some of his own for Erwin to check later.
He finishes around eight o'clock, back and shoulders stiff from hunching over for hours on end. He throws his head back over his chair and sighs. Even with his eyes closed like this, he could see nothing but Sieglinde frowning at him. That was the last time he saw her−and she is yet to make an appearance. Not even daring to check back at him in their room.
Ah, but damn it. I have to get these to Erwin.
Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Levi gathers the papers and leaves the office. He only needs to submit these to the Commander, discuss a few more notes, and perhaps take a shower before grabbing himself some dinner downstairs. Or maybe he could prolong dinner and go looking around for his little brat. She's probably shacked herself in the workshop, like the stubborn brat that she is.
He can do that. He can go fetch her wherever hellhole she is.
He drops by Erwin's office, then proceeds downstairs to the workshop. It is directly underneath his window from his office. He checks inside the dim place and smells smoke wafting in the meager space. The forge is still hot and the air inside is very warm. He steps out and checks at his window above.
Movements inside. A lithe shadow moving to and fro.
Found her.
He is racking his brains how to explain the thing with Eloise this morning. Where would he start? Should he go 'Once upon a time' on her like the stories in her children's book? How about sidestepping his and Eloise's nonexistent−almost−connection and let her decide whether she believes him or not.
In any case, he finds himself back inside the room, quietly shutting the door behind him and tiptoeing towards the bedroom. It is empty, but there is a pile of clothes folded on the dresser. He hears water pattering inside the bathroom, pelting to the tiled floors.
He could wait for her. He knows he could. Give her ten minutes and then sit her down for an explanation.
Sounds like a good plan, but the impatience tugs on him like a heavy anchor. He wants to get this over with as soon as possible. He doesn't want to beat around the bush anymore−they had done that before Sieglinde transferred to the Military Police−and he is done treading on thin ice with her. He wants to let her know that he is not keeping any secrets from her, especially not from his Underground days.
Levi fingers his cravat away, easily. Jacket and shirt off, folded next to her uniform. Harnesses unbuckled and discarded to the side. Pants, boxers, boots, all to the side as well. He cards his fingers through his dark hair and heaves a deep sigh.
In and out.
One and two.
This is harder than facing Titans.
Stealthily, he admits himself into the bathroom, mentally noting to scold her later to lock the damned door. A blurry figure is standing unmoving beyond the shower stall. Like a statue, letting the warm water pelt down on her. He is also fighting the repulsion of her wasting precious water like this.
When the door clicks behind him, the figure flinches and turns around.
Levi draws the curtain aside and steps into the stall. His steely eyes are locked on hers, wide in confusion and surprise.
The staredown lasts for more seconds, until Sieglinde remembers herself and starts glossing over his appearance, from the scars on his shoulder down to the length of his chest and stomach. She blushes in an instant. Oh, how it explodes over her pale cheeks. He wants to smirk, but he keeps his face cold and unrelenting until she speaks first.
"Wh-What are you doing here?" she asks breathlessly.
"We need to talk," he says after two seconds of silence.
"In the shower, Levi?" She backs up against the wall, the water in her face.
"Talk to me. I feel like there should be nothing between us."
At that statement, they become painfully aware that both are naked.
Sieglinde flushes and covers herself with her arms around her chest. Her long silver hair clings onto her shoulders and arms like a second skin. Droplets cascade from her head to the curve of her face and down to her chest and stomach. She still has the necklace. She is modest, she is shy, but she is fearless. He admires that in her. Naked in front of an equally naked man and not a bit scared. Very much like her.
Her lips tremble, though. "What did you want to talk about? Can this not wait for ten minutes?"
"No. If I give you ten minutes, that's more than enough time for you to make yourself jealous."
"I'm−" She flushes more from that, averting her gaze. "I'm not!"
"Yes, you are. You saw how I interacted with Eloise. I know you already made the deduction."
That silences her. She purses her lips, eyes cast on the white floor under their bare feet.
Levi tilts his head to the side and sighs. He reaches out and she flinches. He turns the shower off.
Steam rises, sending goosebumps all over her pale skin.
"What did Eloise want?" Sieglinde asks in a small voice.
"She was fresh out of the Underground. Her lover was killed not too long ago, during a Military Police raid under Commander Nile's orders." Levi inches closer, calculating the way her features tense up at the mention of the operation. "She said her lover was cut open like a fish, left to die out there. That made her leave the city, with her unborn child."
"What?" Her blue eyes dart back to his face. "S-She is…?"
"Pregnant, yes, seven months. The father of her child is dead from the ambush."
"Oh, no." Shakily, she covers her mouth. "Oh… Levi…"
"Sshh. Hey. Look at me." He cradles her face in both hands and prompts her to look into his eyes. "I'm not implying anything here, Signe. What is done is done. No need to dwell on the events of the past. People live and die all the time. We, as soldiers, know that. Don't−" He nibbles at his lip−"Don't regret anything from the past, do you hear me? What's done is fucking done."
He pulls her to an embrace, burying her face on the crook of his neck. "Here now. It's okay, Signe."
Her breaths are hot against his bare skin. "So, what happened to her?"
"She was looking for a place to stay, for now at least. With her baby coming in the way, she needs a safe place so I asked Hange to find a place for her. Luckily for all of us, Moblit's family agreed to take her in as a guest. They have a bakery as a business so Eloise can help around the shop."
"She's gonna be okay?"
"I made sure of that."
"You promise?" She looks up with her teary eyes. "Eloise… and the baby… They're going to be okay?"
"Moblit's mother was ecstatic to have her, so yes; I think she will be safe."
"I should have been there. I should have looked her in the eyes and apologized."
"Hey." His voice sharpens. "It's not your fault. There's no need to assign blames for what happened."
"Sorry. I didn't mean… I couldn't…"
"What matters is that Eloise has moved on. As far as I could tell, she seems healthy enough."
Sieglinde nods and nuzzles closer to him. Levi sighs and holds her around the waist, nothing separating them but the droplets rolling down her skin. Dimly aware of their precarious position, he keeps his thoughts occupied by running his fingers down the silver locks, gathering them in a thick, wet rope down her spine. She shivers against him, pulling away to search for his eyes.
He reads something in her gaze. "What is it? Talk to me, Signe. I'm not a damned mind reader."
Frowning, she tugs at the back of his hair.
"Ow! That pulls, you shitty brat."
"Who is Eloise to you? And be honest−Levi Ackerman."
He growls. "She's an acquaintance from the Underground. Not even an acquaintance, but someone I know by name and face," he explains. "She worked as a server in a tavern that Furlan and I used to go to. I don't think I ever talked to her more than the fingers on my first hand…"
"Is she…?" She swallows hard, unable to meet his eyes. "Your first…?"
Ah, shit.
So this is what all is about.
No wonder this idiot is acting all bratty.
He should have dug his grave earlier when he had the chance.
"Yes. She was."
"Really?" Levi could almost see the gears in her brain working. "Then, how was it?"
"What?" He blinks at her. "What do you mean 'how was it'?"
"Your first time, how was it?"
"I'm not telling you. Why should I?"
She raises her fist to his eye level.
Levi bares his teeth at her. "Hey, watch it, brat. I don't intend to bleed on my own freaking floor."
She rolls her shoulders. "Sorry, I guess I was just curious." Then she steps back, away from him, pressing her back against the damp, cold wall. She looks elsewhere, a deeper shade of crimson creeping up her cheeks and even to the tips of her ears. "I was curious because I've never… I've never done such a thing and I didn't think, or imagine even, that you've done with yours."
"Don't imagine it. It's creepy."
"Then tell me. It's not…" She bites at her lower lip. "Or maybe not?"
"Signe." He sighs, pushing his bangs off his eyes. "I cannot tell you anything. I don't even remember how it happened." There it goes: her gaze back to him, wide and questioning. He shrugs. "Imagine me five or six years ago, dragged into some cheap tavern for some drinks. Got drunk. Passed out. Woke up in a bed that is not even mine. Grabbed my clothes and showered at home. Done."
"That's… it?"
"Am I going to lie to you about this one?"
"I'm sorry, but that was a lame story, Levi."
"What can I say? It wasn't meant to be a cool, dramatic story anyway. What did you expect?" He leers down on her, a bit annoyed. "Did you think there'd be rose petals and candlelight in the bedroom? Some serenade going off in the background? Sorry to disappoint−I don't do that."
She nods, as if realization surges over her like a tidal wave. "Sorry, I expected something more… special."
He snorts. "Special?"
Again with that roll of her shoulders. "I don't know. It's just that, I thought each first time should be special."
"Is that so?" The Captain cocks his head to the side, thoughtful. "Why?"
"I told you before that kiss is a personal thing, right?" She wraps her arms around his neck and he answers by putting his big hands on her hips. He nods. "Think of it as the same thing: a kiss is as personal as sharing your first time with someone you like. It's something you would like to do with your loved one. That's why it's called make love, not fuck."
She bites at her lip again. One more of that and he would be ravishing her.
"I don't want my first time to be a fuck for the sake of fucking."
Levi dives down to capture her lips in a deep, searing kiss. He shuts her up with his kisses−she is far too innocent to be saying the words 'fuck' and 'fucking' with those lips of hers. A low, guttural groan rumbles from the deepest part of his chest as he pushes her flush against the wall, feeling her shiver when her skin hits the cold surface.
He pins her by the waist, while her hands are back on his nape and hair. He devours her mouth into his own, swallowing whichever comes slipping out of her kiss-swollen lips. A moan. A sigh. A whimper or a mewl. He takes anything and answers with growls and groans, travelling lower to kiss her jaw and her throat, her head tilted backwards so he could nip at the soft skin there.
Sieglinde is panting above him, tugging at his hair. "L-Levi, wait!"
He glares up from the slope of her neck. "What?"
"I want to shower," she complains. "I just came from the workshop and I feel disgusting all over."
"No, you're not." He sighs but straightens himself. "All right, brat, let's take a shower."
Beaming, Sieglinde turns the water on again, soaking Levi from head to toe this time.
They take turns wetting and lathering each other's hair. The Captain realizes now how much of an inconvenience it is to have someone with waist-length hair to be washing on their own. It looks hard work to Levi lathering from head down to the very tips. He makes himself useful by turning Sieglinde behind and raking his fingers through the bubbly hair, massaging her scalp at the same time.
She hums a cheery tune under her breath. When it is Levi's turn, she rounds towards him and massages his scalp as well. She pushes his bangs backwards, delighted at the new hairstyle.
"You look cute like this," she teases. "Why don't you gel your hair up or something?"
"Gel is for teenagers," he grouches. "Plus, it leaves the hair sticky, which means more dust on your hair."
She laughs at that, a hearty sound bouncing off the ceilings. "Good point, Captain."
Then she rinses the bubbles and soap off his hair and continues massaging him. He closes his eyes and loses himself in the pleasure of having someone taking care of him, making him feel that he is alive and that he matters. And Sieglinde is doing just that−making him feel so very much alive at this moment. His entire body quivers at the sensations, goosebumps feathering his wet skin.
He opens his eyes again and lets them roam over her naked form. He had been fighting the urge to check at her ever since he stepped into the stall, but now that they are in here, in each other's arms, he might as well explore this once in a lifetime treat.
Her body is lean, with muscles lining her arms and legs, befitting a combat instructor. Her stomach is smooth and firm, with a hint of muscles as well. Further south, between her legs. Levi swallows, tearing his eyes away from there and returning to her face, her collarbones, her chest. Firm and round, perhaps it would fit in his hand. But a handful is enough for him.
Perfect, perfect everywhere.
There are belt marks lining across the upper parts of her chest. Marks darker than her skin. Levi traces his fingertips over the rough skin there. The harnesses are bitches, indeed.
"You don't have them yet," Sieglinde muses, touching the faint marks on the Captain's chest.
"And you have them in plenty." He notes more marks around over the shoulders, around the hips, and upper thighs. He traces each of them, feeling her shudder against him.
"I have been in the military since I was thirteen. They're practically imprinted on me now."
"Tch."
"Disappointed?" She grins. "Sorry, I'm not soft and flawless all over, Captain." Her hands, resting on his shoulders, twitch at the words. He could feel the roughness of her hands, too. Countless days spent in the workshop could only result to this. But he doesn't care.
Levi presses the pad of his thumb over the upper cheek of her left breast, before swirling downwards to tighten on the nipple. Sieglinde gasps and closes her eyes, but doesn't push him away. The Captain takes that as a positive sign and lays his palm flat over her breast, cupping it and kneading gently. He is right−it does fit in his hand. So soft and supple. So perfect.
With another guttural moan, he pushes her back on the wall and ravishes her once more. He devours her in an open-mouthed kiss, their tongues swirling and stroking one another. He dives forward and swallows her whole, slipping his tongue between her parted lips and tasting every inch of her mouth.
Sieglinde breaks the kiss to breathe, her own hands roaming all over the Captain's body. She takes her damned time mapping every contour of his body−over his shoulders and the ugly scars, down to the tight muscles and abs. She seems to like his body−at least that is what he thinks as she continues groping him. But then she feels bolder and more fearless, and her hands are going past his stomach, between his fucking legs, and−
Levi shudders and groans as her small hand wraps around his length.
He is aware how hard and needy he has become. This is embarrassing.
He glances down and grits his teeth.
"Signe−" He snarls against her mouth. "Do you know what you're grabbing?"
Her pale eyelashes flutter at him. "I know," she whispers, blushing red as a rose but still fierce. Her hand holds firm. Not moving, but also not pulling away. Levi cannot decide which is worse. "I just was curious, that's all. Unless…" She flushes one more time, as if shame finally registers in her system. "Unless you want me to stop?
Shit. She is making things hard for him−literally and metaphorically.
He snorts and rests his forehead against hers.
"I don't mind," he whispers. His mind is still reeling from the feel of her hand around him. "I don't want you to be nervous or uncomfortable around me. Remember that you can do whatever you want with me, as long as we're in the right place and time."
"And is this?" she prompts, applying pressure in her hand, squeezing a little. "The right place and time?"
"Yes," he hisses through gritted teeth. "Damned yes."
"Relax, then." She swipes her free hand over his bangs. "You're so intense."
He rolls his eyes and rests his hands flat on her hips.
Sieglinde bites her lip, as her hand starts moving again. So timid at first. Going up and down. Up and down.
Sensually, painfully slow.
His length swells bigger and harder in her palm, eliciting a rumble of groan deep within his throat. It goads her on, however, quickening her pace a little, enveloping from the wet head down to the very base. She checks at his face with her innocent blue eyes, now clouded with desire and arousal.
Fuck. Oh, f-fuck. Levi digs his fingers into the flesh of her hips as he bucks into her hand, wanting more friction. Her thumb rubs over the underside, sliding over to the top, and presses down on the damp slit. He sees stars behind closed eyelids. He grits his teeth and opens his eyes once more, watches her hand move around him.
This is too much, too soon. They should not be doing this−but fucking hell it feels so good to hold her and kiss her and hear her moan into his mouth.
It feels so good that Sieglinde has him rutting into her hand in no time.
"N-No, wait− Signe, wait−" Levi groans and grabs her by the wrist.
"What's wrong?" She peeps up at him.
"S-Stop," he pants, sneering. "Just−enough. No more."
"But why?"
"Do I have to say it aloud?" Then she moves again and he grinds into her hand. "Fuck, Signe." He drops his head on her shoulder and presses a light kiss on her neck. "We should really stop. I'm−"
The brat flashes him a devilish smile and pumps her hand again. "Levi… Levi…"
Her voice alone would be his undoing. He is losing control over himself, spiraling deeper into the haze of pleasure because of this stubborn, stubborn brat. He shudders, his entire body tingling.
"N-No, st-stop−I mean it! I'm−fuck−Signe… I'm come−coming…!"
His hot come spurts over their stomachs, and then down to Signe's hand.
She breathes a sigh of relief and kisses his cheek. "Was that okay? Are you okay?"
"Where did you learn that?" He growls like a predator. "I was sure I left you a virgin just this morning."
"Virginity doesn't equate to stupidity, Levi. Some people call it instinct."
"Instinct, huh?" He grabs her and kisses her roughly. "Figures."
"But was it okay?" She turns away, a bit embarrassed. "I've never done anything of the sort."
"Don't worry about anything. All we have to worry about now is cleaning up again."
He glares and reaches out for the shower. Again. A quick rinse over their stomachs and Sieglinde's hand. He clicks his tongue when the hot water touches his still heated length.
"Tch. You shameless little brat… I will definitely get back at you for this next time."
Sieglinde pales. "Ah−um−you don't have to."
He grabs her by the chin and snarls. "Believe me, I will."
As if on cue, her stomach grumbles.
"Are you kidding me?"
"S-Sorry! I haven't eaten anything for lunch! Let's finish here and get something to eat for dinner."
Levi smirks and licks his lips.
"Oh, yes, let's eat dinner. I can eat you on the table or on the bed. Pick your poison."
"Ahh! Ngh… Levi−ah−Levi, wait!"
His dark head peeks from between her legs. The Captain's eyes are darker, hungrier.
Sieglinde's chest rises and falls with deep, shaky breaths. "You're−You're cheating! You said next time!"
He rests his head on her thigh, peering at her through his bangs. "So? I said that about thirty minutes ago. Technically, thirty minutes means next time. So, shut up and let me continue." And he bends down again, laying his hot tongue flat over her wet folds, and licks.
It was not a lie when he said they were going to eat dinner. Dinner consisted of soup and cornbread with the black tea with cornflower. Erwin was right about the exquisite taste, scent−yet as Levi goes down on Sieglinde, lapping every inch of her with his tongue, and nipping at the soft flesh with his teeth, he decides that she tastes more exquisite than tea, smells more intoxicating than any tea essence.
Once they finished dinner, it was time to move on to the dessert.
Levi puts a hand under her knee and lifts it over his right shoulder, opening her more for his taking. He twitches at the sight of her so willing underneath him. He licks his lips before diving down again, humming as he tastes more and more of her, feeling her grind into his face. He feels−as much as hears−her body trembling from his ministrations.
"Ah!" Sieglinde cries out, whimpering. "Aah! Le-Levi! Lev−ah!"
He crawls back up to her and kisses her between the eyes. "Aww," he croons. "What's the matter, baby?"
She frowns and punches his chest. "You cheater! You said next time!"
"And I said thirty minutes technically means next time!"
"But… It's too−It's too much… Ah, Levi…" Closing her eyes, tears slip from her eyelids.
"Sshhh, Signe." He places an arm over her head and strokes her cheek with his free hand. Did he overdo it? Teased her too much to the point of tears? Tch. She really is such a little brat, after all. He sighs and kisses her forehead gently. "Hey, are you okay?"
She opens her eyes, glassy from the tears. "Levi…"
"Are you scared? Do you want to stop? Does it hurt?"
"I'm scared…" She sniffs and blinks back the tears. She embraces him around the neck and nuzzles closer. She wears a thin nightgown despite the weather. Her body heat is radiating through the thin fabric, Levi could feel it under the slight pressure of his palm. She sighs. "Feels so good, that I am so scared…"
"I understand that you've never done something this intimate with anyone," he murmurs. "I won't do anything you're uncomfortable with, Signe. Tell me if you want to stop now, and we can go to sleep."
Yet it is obvious that she doesn't want to.
She mewls and nips at his neck with her teeth. "Levi… Will you…?"
He growls and captures her lips in another deep kiss. "Where? Tell me where you want me, Signe."
"Down there," she mutters, blushing redder.
"Where?" A wave of deviousness creeps into him. "I can't hear you."
She glares at him and, instead of putting it into words, she pushes at his shoulders and guides him downwards again. The Captain chuckles as he obeys, planting luscious kisses from her neck, between her breasts, to her stomach, and finally, back to where he started.
He rears up, knees on the mattress, with Sieglinde's thigh back over his shoulder. Smirking down on her, he kisses her leg, making his way down again with more kisses on her inner thigh.
He wants the fierce combat instructor pliant and obedient under him. "Open your legs for me."
She does, hesitant and shy at first.
He is not finished taunting her.
"Wider, kitten."
She shivers from the pet name and spreads her legs wider.
"Good girl."
Levi licks at her soaked slit, like a kitten indeed lapping at milk. Sieglinde gasps and arcs off the bed, eyes closed, mouth open. He holds her back down to the mattress by the hips, keeping her short from crushing him with her thighs. He licks her up and down, base to top, and again. The more she holds back her cries, the more it goads him on to elicit those soft, needy sounds.
He nuzzles his nose between her legs. Angled a little lower, his tongue darts out to flick over at her sensitive bud. Sieglinde turns her head to the side and buries her face into his pillow, muffling out her whimpers. He supposes that is fine with him.
Sucking her clit, Levi slips one finger inside of her.
"Ngh, ah, Levi! Please… A-Ahh!" She shudders and grips the sheets tighter. "Levi−Oh, Captain Levi!"
"Signe…" He groans at the sound of his rank moaned in such an erotic way.
His middle finger pumps in an out of her, slowly, coating his finger with her arousal. He does not think a woman could get this soaked with mere touches, but then again, he has never had a proper intimate relationship before. This would be his first time, and like Signe wants, he would make it special for them. He wants to make sure she feels more pleasure than he does.
Pulling his finger back, he adds another one on the way back inside.
Sieglinde swallows back another whimper, her voice already hoarse from crying out.
He keeps pumping, stretching her, feeling every inch of her clenching tightly around his slender fingers. It feels so soft and hot and wet, so fucking delicious, that his erection also tightens in his pants. He growls and sucks harder on her clit, flattening his tongue and rutting hard and fast.
He glances at her face… wanting, needing to see her lose it.
"Levi! Levi!"
"Come for me, Signe…"
And she does. One last pump with his fingers and a harsh suck on her clit, she comes undone beneath him. She holds back a scream, eyes closed shut, knuckles turning white as she grips the sheets and pillows and tries to even her breaths. A thin sheet of sweat glistens over her forehead.
Levi licks up at rest of her essence and crawls back to her with a kiss on the nose. "Are you okay?"
She is still catching her breath.
"Blink, brat." He snaps his fingers at her face, teasing. "Let me know if you're alive!"
"Damn you… Shut up…"
"At least let me know how it was."
"It was…" Sleepy blue eyes flutter at him. "It was perfect, Levi."
"I'm glad you think so."
He settles on her right side, keeps himself up on his forearm, and gazes down on her in a rare moment of affection. His other hand brushes the strands of her hair off her face, rolling the bangs gently over his forefinger. Then he rearranges her nightgown down her thighs and pulls the blanket over both of them. Sieglinde sighs and curls up against him, hogging the blanket. He rolls his eyes and keeps watching her.
She is drifting off to sleep. Her pale lashes sweep over flushed cheeks. At quiet times like these, when she is so vulnerable, Levi quite forgets that this is a soldier in his bed, a combat instructor. Looks can certainly be deceiving when it comes to her.
As always, he pokes her in her sleep.
She curls up even tighter and wriggles her nose, like an irritated bunny.
Levi laughs, low and deep in his throat.
"Do that again," Sieglinde mumbles.
"Do what, brat?"
"Laugh."
"I think, the bitch ass, fuck not."
She opens her sleepy eyes and laughs. "A poet."
The Captain shifts so that he is laying beside her, face turned to her, one hand tugging at the blanket. "Hey, what gives, scrub? You are aware that it is midnight and it's freezing outside, right? Share the blanket, you monster!" He thumps her on the head, not enough to hurt. "Hey! Stop drifting off on me!"
She wiggles her nose again and turns her back against him.
"You brat, I'm freezing my balls out here."
"I warned you that I'm a lousy roommate. Get a spare blanket of your own."
"This is the spare blanket. The other one's in the laundry."
"Ah, well, tough luck, Levi," she singsongs. "Good night."
Glowering at her back, the Captain snatches the hem of the blanket and forces Sieglinde out of her cinnamon roll self. He slides under the covers and buries himself before the other could protest at the loss of her security blanket. His hand darts from between the folds and yanks her down by the arm. Today has been such a whirlwind of troubles, meetings, and pleasures−and now all he wants to do is get some sleep before the morning sun creeps up on them.
Is that too much to ask?
At length, Sieglinde gives up the struggle and gives a loud yawn. She slips beside the Captain and ducks her head under his chin. She radiates such a comfortable, warm body heat that has Levi holding her against him, feeling himself drift off to sleep without any fear of nightmares.
"Today was wonderful, Levi," Sieglinde murmurs. "Thank you."
"Of course." Anything for you. "Dumbass."
"I liked it better when you called me kitten."
"Don't be greedy. I'd call you bitch if you want me to."
"Levi! Is that how you address the love of your life?"
"… Maybe?"
"This pillow talk is the lamest I've ever heard."
"Bet your virgin ass you've never had pillow talk before."
Silence. And then:
"I hate you, Levi."
He chuckles.
"I know, brat."
Author's Notes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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This is my first time writing such an explicit smut so advance apologies if it's not so written well! o(TヘTo)
I tried to write it based on how Levi would approach the situation with Sieg. I think he's still a bit of himself, but due to Sieg's character, he let himself be carried away. This man needs more than enough love and caring. I think I've discussed with someone about Levi's... sexual endeavors... and I believe he wouldn't be as clueless and innocent as Sieg is. He is, after all, approximately five years older than her, and lived in a place like the Underground. So yeah! Please lemme know how that first smut went, because there's more incoming. I'M NOT BLUSHING, YOU ARE!
Small note: I mentioned gel in this chapter. I think something of the sort exists in their world, otherwise how will Commander Handsome Erwin ever keep his hair that neat and shiny? (Asking the right questions here, of course!)
Also, I'm extremely sorry it took too long for an update! I went back to work and I work 6 days straight; I barely have time in the night to do my own personal stuff, let alone write and edit chapters because of pure exhaustion. I do hope I get more days off so I can have more time to write.
Special thanks to everyone who left a review last chapter: hascroggin, starrat, Foxx21, lizyeh2000, Guest 1, Jolienn, MissDreamsALot, MordredVisor, rixelvelt, vain-gl0ry, Ridethelightning26, LlamaaMamaa, Raha, Daphne Ackerman, and Guest 2. I'm sorry if I can't reply to you individually; I've been very busy and have limited time today. But I want you all to know that I do really appreciate the time you give to leave reviews, that I do read your comments, and I do make a note of every little review anyone gives. Any suggestions, comments, or opinions are loved and welcomed! Thank you so much, guys! Thank you for all the loyal readers and followers out there! I appreciate you, too!
Thank you for reading this lil update! Until next time! Stay safe and stay out of trouble! Have a great week! (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)