Chapter 34: Stephanie

A/N: Just a heads-up: this chapter has a lot of Stephanie in it. I know some of you hate reading about Jane or Maura with other people. While I think this chapter is necessary for the story, I would in no way be offended if anyone decided to skip this one. This is the last chapter that will spend significant "screen time" on any of their exes (although, they will likely come up in conversations, just not as a focal point).

Jane: January, Three and a Half Years Ago

Jane picked at the label on her beer. She wasn't really drinking it, even though she had told herself that she could have one beer and just dump tonight's breastmilk. She had plenty of pre-pumped milk for Harper. But the truth was, she didn't really want to do that. She wanted to be able to feed her baby girl when she got home. So now, she was just holding a warm beer and continuing to pick at the label.

"Jane! Earth to Jane!" Frankie called, waving his hand in front of Jane's face.

"Sorry, what?" Jane said. She hadn't realized that she had stopped paying attention to the conversation going on around her. In all honesty, she was exhausted. She had two almost three-year-old toddlers and a five-month-old baby at home. Sleep and quiet were pretty much non-existent in her life right now, but she was happier than she had been in a very long time.

One thing she did miss was hanging out with her brothers, which is why she was now sitting at the Dirty Robber on a Friday night nursing a warm beer. It was the first time she had left the kids since Harper was born. They were with her mom, so she wasn't worried about them. However, silly as it seemed since she saw them a few hours ago and she'd be home later tonight, she really missed them.

Frankie, Nina, and Tommy had been bugging her since before Christmas to go out with them, and she had finally agreed to meet them on this cold January Friday after they closed their latest case. And despite missing her kids, Jane was having a good time. In addition to Frankie, Nina, and Tommy, Frankie's partners, Tim and Jose, had joined them, along with Kent and Susie from the morgue. Korsak was bartending, so every once and a while, if there was a lull, he'd join them for a few minutes.

"I asked if you wanted me to get you something else to drink," Frankie said. "Instead of the beer you're not drinking."

Jane looked down at the beer in her hand, deciding to switch to soda so that she could breastfeed Harper tonight. "Uh, yeah, thanks. Can you get me a coke?"

"Sure thing," Frankie responded, and he headed up to the bar. While he was gone, Jane rejoined the conversation at the table. However, when he hadn't come back after a few minutes, she decided to take a break and join him at the bar. She could always help him carry whatever drinks he had ordered back to the table.

She was just about to slip into the space next to Frankie at the bar when she noticed the woman sitting in the barstool next to him. She wasn't sure what it was about the woman that caught Jane's eye, but she was the first woman since Maura who Jane had even looked at twice. That in itself was enough to make her pause. Her first instinct was to turn on her heel and return to the table. Instead, after hesitating for a few seconds, she stepped into the space between Frankie and the woman.

When Jane tried to steal a glance at the woman, she was instantly caught as their eyes locked on each other's. They shared soft, shy smiles before breaking their eye contact. Jane felt a light heat flushing her cheeks as she tried to keep herself from looking back at the woman next to her. In her attempt to ignore the other woman, Jane pulled Frankie into meaningless conversation. However, when they were going to go back to the table, she made sure to turn in the direction that would allow her one more look at the other woman. When she turned, she found that the other woman was watching her as well.

"That your boyfriend?" she asked, tilting her head in Frankie's direction.

Jane laughed. "No, he's my brother. I'm single," she replied before she could stop herself. What was happening to her? She never readily offered up her relationship status, let alone to a beautiful stranger in a bar.

The other woman laughed lightly, and Jane decided she liked the sound. Jane glanced after her brother before turning back to the bar to talk to the woman. "I'm Jane," she offered, holding out her hand to shake the other woman's hand.

"Stephanie," the woman replied. She had light blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Even though she was sitting, Jane could tell that she was likely close to Jane's height. "Can I buy you a drink, Jane?" she asked.

"Oh, uh, um," Jane stumbled over her words. For the first time in a while, she actually wanted to say yes to the offer because she wanted to prolong her conversation with Stephanie. However, she didn't really want to drink.

"Sorry," Stephanie retreated, a light blush tinging her cheeks. "I thought…I'm sorry."

"No, it's not…" Jane paused before deciding on the truth. She sighed before continuing, "I want to say yes because I'd like a reason to continue this conversation, but…"

"Oh, you don't have to drink, if that's your hesitation," Stephanie said kindly.

Jane opened and closed her mouth a few times before blurting out, "I have kids." A slight smile crossed Stephanie's face, but Jane felt ridiculous all the same. "Oh my god, I'm so bad at this," she whined as she buried her face in her hands as she leaned against the bar. Jane wasn't sure if she had ever been this flustered or this forward with another person that she was attracted to, ad she honestly wasn't sure what had brought on this change in her – maybe it was losing Maura that made her live in the moment a bit more or maybe it was just her generally happiness with her life.

Stephanie chuckled. "You're better than you think you are," she offered, "even if that was a slightly awkward way to tell me you're breastfeeding."

It was Jane's turn to laugh. Stephanie was bold, and admittedly, Jane kind of liked it. Although, she hadn't really mentioned her kids as a way to justify not drinking. The truth was, she had blurted it out because she didn't want to experience what she had gone through with Harper's father last year. Of course, all of that was worth it because she got Harper, but she never wanted to date anyone who didn't want or like kids again.

"Jane!" Tommy called from the table.

Jane waved at Tommy in acknowledgement before returning her attention to Stephanie. "Sorry, I should get back to my group," she said reluctantly.

"Okay, but before you go, do you think maybe we could get coffee sometime?" Stephanie asked.

Jane smiled (somewhat involuntarily) before responding, "Yeah, I'd like that. I am a caffeine addict after all."

"Let me give you my number," Stephanie offered as she started to dig in her purse, eventually pulling out a business card and pen. She wrote what Jane assumed was her cell phone number on the back of the card before handing it to Jane. "Call or text me," she added.

"I will," Jane said as she took the card and slipped it into her back pocket. "It was good to meet you."

"Bye, Jane."

The rest of the evening passed in a haze. It wasn't until she was home that she had time to think about Stephanie again. She had given Emma and Finn each a kiss as they slept, and she was now sitting in the rocking chair in Harper's room, feeding the little girl.

Her mind drifted back to the woman at the bar. There was definitely something about her that caught Jane's attention. Jane had dated a few men since Maura's disappearance, but even though her family now knew that she was bisexual, she hadn't dated any woman. No one – man or woman – could compare to Maura, and Jane found herself comparing the woman she met to Maura even more than the men she met. Jane knew that she would never stop loving Maura. Maura would forever be the love of her life, but it was nearly certain that she would never see Maura again. Jane's biggest regret was that she had never told Maura how she felt about her before she was gone – before it was too late. However, Jane knew Maura well enough to know that whether or not she knew how Jane felt about her and regardless of how Maura felt about Jane, what Maura cared about most was Jane's happiness and well-being. Jane knew this because she wanted the same thing for Maura. She wanted more than anything for them to be together – all of them, as a family – but since that wasn't possible, Jane hoped that Maura had found happiness and love wherever she was. And Maura would want the same for her.

She decided to take a chance and text Stephanie in the morning. She could at least see where this goes. Despite recognizing that the conversation at the bar had gone well, Jane had honestly expected Stephanie to not respond. Therefore, she was somewhat surprised when the other woman instantly suggested a time and place for them to meet up. She decided to meet up with her but to avoid letting any of her family or friends know about the date – at least until she knew Stephanie a little better.

Stephanie: August 1, Three Years Ago

Stephanie sat on her couch to send Jane a text. They had been dating for around six months at this point, and she liked Jane a lot. The more she got to know the dark-haired spitfire of a woman, the harder she fell for her.

Stephanie: Hey J, I know this might be too hard to plan, but any chance you'd be up for dinner and a drink Friday evening? I'd love to take you out to celebrate a successful first week at your new job!

Jane: Hey. I'm sry. I can't do tmr.

Stephanie: No worries. I completely understand that last minute things are nearly impossible with three little kids! Celebrate soon, tho?

And she meant what she said. One of the things she liked the most about Jane was her love for her kids. Jane hadn't introduced her to her kids yet, and Stephanie could definitely understand why. She wanted to meet them so much, but she refused to push Jane into introducing them before she was ready. She felt like she knew the kids already though – at least a little bit – because Jane loved to talk about them (and Stephanie enjoyed listening to Jane talk about them).

She knew that Emma was loud and boisterous about the things she loved while her twin sister Finn thrived on a quiet and reserved passion. She also knew how much Jane hated when people talked about the twins like they were a unit, so despite all of their similarities – their intelligence, their love, their generosity, their kindness – Stephanie made sure to learn their differences as well. She knew that Harper was a ridiculously happy baby, and that she loved nothing more than her older sisters.

Stephanie also knew that Emma and Finn were adopted, but that Jane would punch out anyone's lights if they dared to suggest that Emma and Finn were any less her kids than Harper.

As she sat waiting for a reply, Stephanie noticed the three dots pop up then disappear over and over again. She had expected a quick "sure, let's find a time," but it seemed that Jane was either writing a long response (and being interrupted while she wrote it) or she kept rewriting whatever she was going to send.

What she didn't know was that on the other side of town, Jane was carefully considering whether she was ready to take the next step in their relationship and introduce Stephanie to the kids. It was Jane's mother Angela who finally pushed her the last step over the edge.

Jane: Any chance ur free right now?

Stephanie: Actually, yeah, Im just relaxing at home. Everything okay?

Jane: Yeah. Can I come over tho? Ma is already at my house so she can stay w the girls (theyre napping anyway).

Stephanie's breath caught in her throat. Her first thought was that Jane wanted to come over to break up with her.

Jane: Sry! Not to break up or anything bad. I realized how my text sounded after I sent it.

Jane: I just wanna tell you something that's personal but important to me and Id rather do it in person.

Stephanie: Yeah, of course. You're welcome to come over anytime today.

Jane: Thx. I'll be there in 10.

Jane: And I can see you freaking out thu the phone. STOP WORRYING!

Jane: ❤

Stephanie laughed because Jane was right; she was freaking out a bit as she tried to figure out what Jane could possibly want to talk about. Jane could understandably never get together spontaneously, so that part actually scared Stephanie more than Jane's general evasiveness.

Stephanie: Right. Sry. C u in 10.

She definitely worried less than she would have without Jane's reassurance, but that didn't stop her from spending the entire ten minutes trying to figure out what could possibly be going on. She was so lost in thought that she jumped when there was a knock on her door fifteen minutes later (because Jane could never get somewhere as quickly as she thought she could).

Stephanie smiled and offered Jane a chaste kiss as she opened the door to find her girlfriend standing at her door holding two fresh coffees from Boston Joe's.

"Thank you," Stephanie said as she took her drink from Jane.

"I'm sorry if I scared you," Jane said contritely as she followed Stephanie inside.

Stephanie shrugged as they both sat down on the couch. "It's okay. I was just surprised by your response."

Jane nodded absently. "Look this is really hard for me," she said slowly as her eyes looked anywhere except at Stephanie. "I like you a lot, like a lot more than I expected."

"I really like you too, Jane," Stephanie replied gently.

"I like you enough that…that I see you being in my life for a long time. I mean, I'm not talking about getting engaged or married or anything like that. I just…"

"Jane, you're rambling," Stephanie interrupted Jane as kindly as she could.

"Right, sorry," Jane said. "Like I said, I want you to be in my life for a long time, but before we…I don't know…take the next step, I guess, which for me means meeting the kids…anyway, there are some things you need to know about me first."

"Okay," Stephanie said slowly, tilting her head as she tried to figure out where Jane was going with this. She wasn't sure if she had ever seen Jane this nervous before. All she wanted to do was wrap the other woman up in her arms and tell her it was okay, but she knew that was the last thing Jane would want. Jane hated hugs and physical comfort more than anyone Stephanie had ever met. She was physically affectionate, but it had to be on her own terms, and Stephanie respected that.

Jane took a deep breath. "I know that I've told you that Emma and Finn's biological mother…" Jane paused as her words got caught in her throat.

"Maura?" Stephanie offered.

Jane nodded. "I know that you know that she was my best friend, but she was…she is…more than that," Jane finally breathed out.

"You love her," Stephanie said gently. Jane's eyes snapped up to meet Stephanie's and Stephanie could see the surprise written all over her face. "Jane, I'm not blind. I can tell by the way you talk about her that you were – are – in love with her. It doesn't bother me, though. I've always believed that people can fall in love with more than one person. I guess, I like you enough that I want to see if…if we could love each other. I understand that Maura will always be your family, and that you will always be in love with her. I'm not trying to replace her. I know I can't. If nothing else, she is the person who gave you your children, and no one could take her place in your heart. I may not know what happened or why she is gone, but…I don't know."

Stephanie took a deep breath before continuing, "I don't want to replace Maura in your heart or in your kids' hearts. I just want to be someone else who loves and cares for you, and I want to be someone who you can love and care for."

"God," Jane gasped out through her tears. She wiped furiously at the tears that were flowing thick and fast down her cheeks. "I-I, um, thank you. I know that's not enough of a response, but thank you."

"Can I ask, why are you telling me this now?" Stephanie asked curiously.

"Friday is Maura's birthday. I didn't say no because I wouldn't be able to find someone to watch the kids. I said no because I need to spend that day with my kids, just the four of us. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Jane. It's important both for you and for your kids to keep Maura's memory alive. I respect that."

"I just didn't want to lie or mislead you," Jane offered.

"And that means a lot to me. The fact that you trusted me enough to talk about this…that means a lot."

"The other reason I wanted to talk sooner rather than later is because I also wanted…well, if you're up for it, I'd like you to meet the kids, and I was thinking, maybe you'd want to come over tomorrow. You could come over in the afternoon, then stay for dinner."

"Rizzoli Sunday Dinner?" Stephanie asked, surprised.

"Yeah, I mean, only if you want. If you'd rather…"

"I want to," Stephanie cut in, and her enthusiasm caused Jane to chuckle.

"You really have no idea what you're getting yourself into," Jane teased. "I'm really hoping you don't hate me after tomorrow."

Stephanie joined Jane's laughter, but despite all of Jane's complaining about her family, Stephanie couldn't wait to spend time with them. She had met most of Jane's family and friends at this point – with the exception of her kids – but she had never attended a family event.

"Thank you for letting me do this on my own timeline," Jane said, her voice returning to a more serious tone. "Thank you for not pushing. I mean, I've known for a while that you've wanted to meet the kids, and honestly, that was a good thing because I wouldn't even think about introducing you to them if you didn't want to meet then. But, um, I needed time, so thank you for giving me that."

"Jane, I will always respect that your kids come first, but that you're also a package deal. I understand that the four of you are a family first and foremost," Stephanie replied.

"I honestly don't know how I got so lucky," Jane whispered with a small shake of her head telegraphing her disbelief.

"And I don't know how I got so lucky," Stephanie replied with a smile. "But I know I've told you my family history. My stepmother is one of my favorite people in the entire world, but the only reason that was possible was because she respected that me, my brother, and my dad were a family before she came along. To be able to pass along, to be that person for another family, that means more to me than you know. I didn't set out to necessarily follow in my stepmother's footsteps so directly, but I think maybe it was meant to be.

"I still have memories of my mother, but most of them are from when she was sick. I mean, I was only five when she got sick and barely seven when she died. But one of my most distinct memories is of eavesdropping on my parents the night before my mom died. My mom spent the entire conversation trying to convince my dad not to grieve her too long. She wanted nothing more than for him to find someone to share his life with. She wanted us to be happy and loved, even if she couldn't be the one to do it. My dad did find someone – someone amazing – but that didn't mean his love for my mother ever diminished. I know that my dad still loves my mom every bit as much as the day she died, but he loves Ellen, too. I never knew Maura, and I know it's not the same situation. I understand that she may even be alive. I'm not really sure. But I feel like I know her a little bit from hearing you talk about her, and from what I do know about her, she was a loving person, who cared more about the people she loved than she did for herself. Maybe I'm being presumptuous, but I think she'd want you to be happy and loved, too, just like my mom did for my dad."

Jane nodded, but she was once again overcome with tears. Stephanie had never seen Jane cry before, and now here she was, crying in front of her multiple times in one conversation. And the truth was, it only made Stephanie love Jane more. Wait?! Did she just think 'love'? Am I in love with Jane? Oh god, I'm in love with Jane.

"I can't stay much longer," Jane said eventually after her tears had subsided, "but I'm actually really looking forward to tomorrow. Why don't you come for lunch around noon? Also…" Jane paused as she tried to make a decision. "Also, if tomorrow goes well, can you keep next weekend free? Harper's first birthday is on the tenth, as you know, and we're having a party on Saturday. Assuming tomorrow goes well, I'd really like it if you came, and I think the girls would like it too."

Hearing Jane invite her to her daughter's birthday party sent a rush of warmth and love through Stephanie. She knew that this was another big step for Jane, and it meant the world to Stephanie.

Jane only stayed a few more minutes, but Stephanie's joy and happiness from the conversation and her revelation about her own feelings for Jane lasted long after Jane's departure. And when Stephanie did finally meet Emma, Finn, and Harper, she was blown away by how much she adored the three little girls. She knew she'd like them based on everything Jane had shared about them, but she wasn't expecting the level of affection she felt for them the moment she met them.

Maura: June, Present Day

Emma, Finn, and Michael's kindergarten celebration dinner at the Dirty Robber was just as chaotic, loud, and full of love and laughter as Maura had expected. All four kids were beyond excited, and that excitement only multiplied when they were in the same room as their cousins.

Maura excused herself to use the restroom. They had already been here almost two hours, and most people were still eating, which meant that they were likely to be here another hour or two. She really did have to use the bathroom, but she also honestly needed a few minutes of quiet. She was no longer used to the chaos and noise of Rizzoli family gatherings. She loved these gatherings, of course, but she would need some time to reacquaint herself with level of energy that encompassed these events. Her life had been so quiet for the last seven years, maybe even more quiet than it had been before she met Jane – or maybe she just noticed the silence more after having experienced all that life could offer.

Maura quietly slipped into the bathroom, taking the open stall. She knew she wasn't alone in the bathroom, but she wasn't paying attention to the other woman as she waited to use the single sink. The other woman had noticed her though, and she kept glancing at Maura's reflection in the mirror.

Maura's eyes found the other woman's face when she turned to address Maura after taking some paper towel to dry her hands. Maura instantly felt her heart in her throat as she recognized the woman standing in front of her. It seemed that the other woman recognized her as well.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't…never mind," the other woman tripped over her words. She started to turn away before changing her mind. "Are you Maura Isles?" she said quickly as her eyes searched Maura's face.

Maura wanted to run out of the bathroom, but she knew she couldn't do that. Not only did her upbringing prohibit such rudeness, but she would never do that to someone Jane had cared about – someone who had cared about Jane.

Her professional mask firmly in place, Maura offered the other woman a smile and her hand (after washing them, of course). "Yes, I am, and you're Stephanie, correct?"

"Y-y-yes," Stephanie seemed surprised that Maura knew who she was, but she nonetheless shook Maura's hand. "I, um, I-I don't really know what to say," Stephanie admitted as she nervously fixed her gaze on a spot behind Maura. "I almost feel like I know you. I'm sorry. I don't mean that in a creepy way. It's just…ugh, I'm sorry."

Maura let out a fake but convincing chuckle. "It's okay. You don't need to feel awkward. I realize this is an unusual situation. I am aware that you dated Jane, and that you likely know quite a bit about my situation. I didn't expect…" Maura started to say, but she stopped when the door to the bathroom violently flung open.

Both Maura and Stephanie turned to take in a panicky-looking Jane, whose eyes flitted between the two of them. Maura watched as Jane's face went from fear and panic – probably about how long Maura had been gone from the table – to confusion and slight discomfort.

"Stephanie," Jane said, her voice full of shock and uncertainty. Then, looking at Maura, she said weakly, "Um, I…did you guys…um, meet?" Maura could tell that Jane was nervous, but her own anxiety was suppressing her ability to help relieve Jane's.

Falling back into what Jane referred to as her cyborg persona, she flashed a fake smile at both women. "Yes, we just met. I should be getting back to the table. Stephanie, it was nice to meet you," she said as she once again offered the other woman her hand, which Stephanie took. "I'll let you guys talk," she added to Jane as she walked past her. She did give Jane's arm a slight squeeze as she walked by. Although, she wasn't sure if it was supposed to reassure Jane that Maura understood that she would need to talk to Stephanie or let her know that Maura was okay or to stake her claim as the one who could touch Jane. She kind of hoped it wasn't the last one, though.

Jane: June, Present Day

When Jane went looking for Maura, the last thing she expected was to come face-to-face with her ex-girlfriend and her current girlfriend, clearly mid-conversation. The tension and awkwardness in the bathroom could have been cut with a knife had Jane brought one along. She watched as Maura hid behind her well-worn mask that she often used in professional settings or public events, but Jane could still see through it. She could see the confusion, hurt, and anxiety warring behind Maura's eyes. Stephanie, too, looked full of anxiety but also curiosity.

Maura excused herself, saying to Jane, "I'll let you guys talk," as she also gave Jane's arm a reassuring squeeze that Jane hoped meant that Maura was okay. Maura was out the door before Jane could come up with a response. Once the door shut behind Maura, Jane turned to Stephanie.

"How long as she been back?" Stephanie asked. "I mean, I know it's none of my business, but I know how much she means to you and to your kids. Even if I didn't know her, I still cared about her because I cared about you and your family. I-I…well, after we broke up and I got past my anger, I started to hope that she would be able to come home, even though you seemed so sure that would never be possible. Maybe it's weird, but even though I have moved on, I've never taken your family out of my prayers. Every night I pray for you, Emma, Finn, and Harper, and I pray that Maura will be able to come home to you guys. I guess I can take the last one off my list."

"Steph, I'm sorry. I didn't realize…" Jane started, but Stephanie waved her off.

"Do not apologize for doing what was best for you and your family. I'm really happy for you; I'm glad that you seemed to have found Maura again."

"She's only been home a week," Jane offered. "Honestly, I haven't run into you even once since we broke up almost two years ago, and then we're both here the same week Maura comes home. I'm not suggesting anything weird is going on. It's just a bit ironic, I suppose."

"Well, it's your fault?" Stephanie teased Jane.

"How's this my fault? I didn't know you would be here. If I had, I guess I would have at least formally introduced you to each other," Jane commented.

Stephanie chuckled. "You guys never come to the Robber on Sundays since you always have Rizzoli Sunday Dinners. After we broke up, I had a really hard time. All I wanted to do was avoid going anywhere I might see you, but I also loved the Robber. I started coming here most Sundays; eventually, that decreased to about once a month, but still always on Sunday. I've moved on, Jane; I'm really happy now, and I hope you are too."

"I am," Jane replied. "I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't go wherever you wanted to go whenever you wanted to go there."

Stephanie shrugged. "It's really okay. It was my way of coping. I'm not going to start avoiding the Dirty Robber on Sundays now or anything."

"I hope you don't feel the need to avoid the Robber at any time, but Sundays aren't going to become a regular thing. We still do Rizzoli Sunday Dinners at our place. But Emma, Finn, and Michael graduated kindergarten this week, so we decided to have a celebration dinner here."

"Ohhhh," Stephanie cooed. "I can't believe that they are already graduating kindergarten. They're growing so fast." Jane could hear the love that still infiltrated Stephanie's voice, and she knew that her ex-girlfriend still cared deeply for her daughters.

"I know. It's crazy how fast they grow up. I kinda hate it. I want them to stay little and cute and innocent!" Jane said with a laugh. "No, I mean, I'm so proud of them. I just wish it didn't go by so fast."

"Well, I guess I'll learn soon enough. My fiancée is five months pregnant. We're going to have a little boy before Christmas."

"Congratulations!" Jane said genuinely. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, Jane," Stephanie replied with a smile. "We should probably get back out there, but I'm glad we ran into each other. I'm really happy to know that Maura's home."

"I'm glad we ran into each other, too, and I'm happy that you're happy and that you're going to have a family soon."

Stephanie waved goodbye as she let herself out of the bathroom. Jane waited a few moments, letting herself take a little time to gather herself after the unexpected encounter before she too left the bathroom. She didn't have a chance to talk to Maura during the remainder of the party, but she did make sure to give her a reassuring squeeze to the shoulder and a soft kiss on her cheek as she rejoined the table.

Stephanie: August 7, Two Years Ago

Stephanie walked around the back of the house that had become her second home over the past year. She purposely avoided going through the house to get to the backyard. She knew exactly where to find the person she was looking for, and she was pretty sure she knew what was coming. She didn't think she could face her favorite three little girls on her way to have this discussion with their mama.

"I figured I'd find you here," Stephanie said quietly as she sat down on the bench next to Jane. She kind of felt like she was invading Jane's personal space even though Jane had asked her to come, but she knew the importance of this space to Jane.

Jane took a deep breath. She looked at Stephanie as she sat down next to her, but her eyes fell back to the waterfall in front of her once they were seated next to each other.

Stephanie looked around the space as she let Jane take the time she needed to start the conversation. She hadn't spent much time here. It was Jane's space – well, Jane and the girls' space for Maura – and Stephanie could respect that. It really was beautiful though, and it was entirely unique. Stephanie knew enough about Jane and Maura to recognize the unique and slightly eccentric homages to Maura.

They were sitting on the bench so that their backs were to the house. Behind them there were a few trees that provided a natural barrier to keep the space private. Directly in front of them was a man-made waterfall and coy pond, but the unique part was that the waterfall was made from pieces of an autopsy table. While this might seem weird on the surface, the shiny silver table was perfectly surrounded by plants and rocks. The resulting effect was perfect. To the right of the pond, there was a large stone with an inscription carved into it: "Here's to the months that turned into years with the friends that turned into family."

The plants were slightly overgrown, but that just made the place seem more alive, more real, more personal.

Stephanie was so lost in taking in her surroundings that she jumped slightly when Jane spoke again.

"This is easily among the hardest conversations I've ever had to have," she said quietly, and Stephanie knew that that was saying something given the conversations that Jane must have had in the months following Maura's disappearance. "You've honestly been amazing…"

"You're about to say, 'it's me, not you,' aren't you?" Stephanie asked, a hint of teasing in her voice mixed with a tinge of sadness.

"Except it's not just lip service. It's true," Jane replied. She paused before continuing, "She's 45 today, or she would have been. I don't know which."

"Jane, I've always known how you feel about Maura," Stephanie said. "What I don't understand is what's changed. I can't say I was surprised you asked to see me – although, I was admittedly surprised you picked today – and I know what's coming. You asked me here to break up with me. To be honest, I think we've been broken up for a few weeks now, just neither of us wanted to admit it. What changed, Jane? I feel like you at least owe me that."

"Nothing changed, but that's the problem," Jane obfuscated. Stephanie rolled her eyes. She didn't hate Jane, and she never would, but she had to admit that she was angry that she couldn't get a straight answer about what had changed. Jane must have realized her annoyance, though. She looked at Stephanie before adding, "You deserve more. You deserve not to be someone's second choice. Maybe it would be different if-if I'd had some sort of closure with Maura, but I can't be with you while also hoping every night that Maura comes home. That constant desire for her to be here…that's different than just continuing to love her. It's not fair to you; it's not fair to me; and honestly, it's not fair to the kids, either.

"You didn't do anything wrong. Yeah, I mean, we've argued, and we've been annoyed with each other just like any other couple, but overall, this isn't because of something you did or didn't do. I think I just kept hoping that something would change, but it didn't, and it never will. If Maura were to walk through that door tomorrow, I'd pick her, and we both know that. You deserve someone who will pick you, or at least someone who wouldn't be able to choose. I think that's what I kept hoping for. I kept hoping that one day I'd wake up and you'd hold the equivalent space in my heart that Maura does."

"I guess that's what I had hoped for as well," Stephanie admitted. "I meant it when I said that I never wanted to replace Maura for you or for the girls, but I guess you're right, I hoped that one day you would love me as much as you love her, as much as I love you."

"I'm sorry, Steph," Jane said thickly, and Stephanie knew she meant it. As she looked at Jane, Stephanie knew that she'd cycle through all the stages of grief. She already felt the pain, and she could tell the anger wasn't far behind. However, she also had no doubt that she'd eventually get to acceptance; she had no doubt that Jane, Emma, Finn, and Harper would always hold a special place in her heart. She would love them – maybe not in the same way she had for the past year – but she would love them for the rest of her life.

Stephanie shook her head as the tears started to fall. "Like I said, I expected this; maybe I even should have ended this before now. You've been pulling back for a while, and it's hurt. It still hurts, and I know it will for a while. But…but I guess…I don't know…I guess I just want you to know that I could never hate you. I'm going to miss you. Actually, I already miss you. And I'm really going to miss the girls, but you have to do what's right for your family. I can't fault you for that. I-I-I'm going to go." Stephanie paused to give Jane a gentle kiss on the cheek before she stood. Before she walked away, she added, "Please make sure that the girls know that I still love them. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but when they're ready, I just want them to know that. I don't think it would be good for them for me to say goodbye, as much as I want to for myself, so I'm just going to leave. Bye, Jane."

Jane stood and pulled Stephanie into a hug. "Bye, Steph. I'm so sorry," she whispered into her hair.

Stephanie nodded but otherwise didn't respond as she turned to leave. The tears were so thick that by the time she got to her car, she knew it would be a while before she could safely drive home. Still, she couldn't stay in front of Jane's house, so she drove to the next street over, pulled over, and let her emotions explode out of her.

Jane: August 8, Two Years Ago

Jane hadn't been able to tell the girls about Stephanie the day before, but she knew that she couldn't wait forever. It was only going to get harder the longer she waited. Harper wasn't going to understand, but Emma and Finn were old enough that they were likely going to at least miss Stephanie even if they didn't fully understand the relationship part. At four and a half, they understood the basics, though. They knew that Stephanie was Jane's girlfriend, and they knew that that was different than a regular friend.

When the girls were all bathed and ready for bed, Jane carried Harper into Emma and Finn's room. She sat on Emma's bed with Harper on her lap, and she gestured for Emma and Finn to sit with her. "I have to talk to you guys about something," she explained as they sat next to her but turned so that they were facing her.

They both sat patiently waiting for her to continue – actually, their focus and attention was a bit disconcerting. Sometimes, they were so well-behaved, Jane wasn't sure if they were really four-year-olds.

"Okay, well, um, Stephanie and I broke up, so that means that she's not going to be coming around the house anymore. I know she's been an important part of your lives, and I'm so sorry that I couldn't make this work. The most important thing for you guys to understand is that none of this is your fault, and even if you can't see her anymore, you should know that Stephanie loves you guys so much."

"But why can't she still be our friend?" Finn asked.

"Um, well, you know how Stephanie was my girlfriend, which is a special type of friend?" Jane said, and she immediately felt stupid – how cliché was it to call her girlfriend her 'special friend'?

"Yeah, it means you kiss," Emma said proudly.

Jane chuckled. "Well, that's part of it yeah."

"You wanted to marry her, and you can only marry one person, right?" Finn guessed.

"I was dating her to find out if I wanted to marry her. That's what dating is about – at least for me."

"Like Uncle Frankie and Aunt Nina?" Emma asked.

"Yeah, exactly, and Uncle Frankie and Aunt Nina dated for a while before they got married. Nana and Grandpa did, too. Dating is how most people find the person they want to marry," Jane said.

"So, you broke up because you don't love Stephanie like Uncle Frankie loves Aunt Nina?" Emma asked.

"Yeah, I had really hoped that I could love Stephanie like that, but I realized that that's not possible, which is why we broke up."

"Can you love more than one person?" Finn asked.

"Usually, you only love one person at a time like that. It's called romantic love, and it's different than loving friends or family. Most people only love one person at a time, but many people are fall in love – that means they romantically love someone – many people fall in love with more than one person during their life."

"Have you ever loved someone romantically?" Emma asked.

Jane paused. She really hadn't been expecting that question, but she was too exhausted to try to avoid the question. Plus, she wasn't sure she wanted to avoid it; maybe it was time to tell them the truth. "Yes," Jane said simply. "I love mommy that way."

"Still?" Finn asked, and Jane wondered if Finn had picked up on the fact that she said love instead of loved (even though she was pretty sure that was beyond a four-year-old's comprehension).

"Yes, I still love mommy that way. I also love her as family," Jane said, hoping to keep it simple.

"Well, if you still love mommy and you can only love one person at a time, why was Stephanie your girlfriend?" Finn asked.

Crap, Jane thought to herself. She had already managed to talk herself into a whole. She really underestimated how difficult it could be to raise such smart kids. Maybe she needed to start googling 'how to talk to six-year-olds' instead of 'how to talk to four-year-olds' whenever she tried to plan one of these conversations. Although, she honestly hoped they wouldn't have to have another one for a while.

"It's complicated," Jane offered, knowing it wouldn't be enough, "but since mommy isn't here, and we probably will never see her again, I was hoping that maybe I could find someone else to love to. I wasn't trying to replace mommy. I would never and could never replace mommy. I will always love her, and honestly, that's why it didn't work with Stephanie. I will never be able to love someone like I love mommy."

"Are you going to have a new girlfriend?" Emma asked.

"Or boyfriend?" Finn added, clearly proud of herself for remembering.

"I don't think so," Jane admitted. Okay, maybe this was too much to be telling her kids. She was supposed to just be reassuring them, and not making promises about the future – that's what all the articles she read said.

"Oh," Finn said, and Jane's heart broke at how sad the little girl looked at the thought.

"How are you guys feeling?" Jane asked.

"I love Stephanie," Emma said. "I don't want her to go."

"I know baby, and it's okay to miss her. It's okay to talk about her too, but you're not going to be seeing her anymore."

"I don't like it," Emma pouted, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"I know, and that's okay. It's okay to be mad or sad. I just want you to tell me how you're feeling. Do you think you can do that?" Jane asked.

They both seemed to ponder the question, but eventually they nodded before Finn added, "Can we get a kitten?"

Jane burst out laughing. She had not been expecting that question. Although, she probably should have. Emma and Finn had been throwing that question into just about every conversation they could over the past few months. Jane knew it was probably the wrong thing to do, but she wanted to see them smile again. Besides, she had been thinking about saying yes for a while now. "Sure," she acquiesced, "we can get a kitten."

"Yay!" they both cheered, waking the sleeping toddler in Jane's arms. Jane hadn't realized that Harper had fallen asleep during their conversation, but she probably should have. The almost two-year-old never stayed quiet that long while awake.

"Yay!" Harper joined the cheering, and Jane chuckled because she knew that Harper had absolutely no idea what they were celebrating. She just couldn't resist joining her sisters' excitement, but her excitement doubled when Finn told her, "We're getting a kitty!" because that was something she could understand.

Maybe the semi-bribe wasn't the best way to ease the girls' hurt over missing Stephanie, but the new kitty definitely made things easier over the next few weeks. The girls definitely missed Stephanie, as did Jane, but they were resilient, and as long as they had each other they would be okay.

All three girls asked about 100 times per day after that until Jane finally told them to the shelter the following Thursday. They quickly picked out a boy kitten – because according to them, they needed a boy in the house – and Jane had to admit that the tiny three-month-old kitten was adorable. He was mostly brown and black tabby, but he had a white tummy and white paws, so Emma and Finn promptly decided that he should be named Olaf. The playful kitten added just the right amount of love and entertainment to their household, and Jane had to admit that despite their losses both recently and in the past, she was incredibly lucky – they all were.

Maura: June, Present Day

Jane returned only a few minutes after Maura to their family's table off in the corner of the Dirty Robber. Maura wasn't sure how she felt about what had just happened. She offered Jane a smile when Jane stopped to give her shoulder a squeeze and left a kiss on her cheek. She wasn't mad or even annoyed at Jane. She knew that Jane hadn't done anything wrong. Still, the emotions flowing through her after the encounter were overwhelming, and she didn't really know what to do with them.

She moved on autopilot for the remainder of the dinner celebration, as well as through the kids evening routines. She finished saying goodnight to the girls before Jane, so she retreated to the guestroom. She told herself it was because she needed to make sure all of the paperwork was ready for Sophie's adoption the next day, but she knew that was just a convenient excuse to hide. She also knew that Jane wouldn't let her hide for long, and she wasn't sure she even wanted to.

When there was a knock on her door, Maura replied, "Come in." She continued to flip through the papers as Jane stepped into the room, closing the door behind her.

"Maura," Jane said gently.

"I'm just making sure everything is ready for tomorrow," she replied without looking at Jane.

"Maura, please," Jane pressed, and her tone caused Maura to pause her movements. When Maura didn't respond, Jane continued, "You're pissed." Jane's voice rose at the end of her statement, letting Maura know that she was trying but failing to control her frustration.

Maura instantly went on the defensive. Standing up to face Jane, she started angrily, "I-I…" but as soon as her eyes found Jane's her fight was gone. It was like her entire body deflated in defeat right in front of Jane. She dropped heavily to sit on the edge of the bed, burying her face in her hands. "I don't want to be," she admitted, eventually looking back up at Jane through her tears. "I'm sorry. I have no reason to be angry. I just…I…" She trailed off as she looked at Jane.

Jane walked to sit beside her on the bed. "I haven't seen or talked to her in nearly two years," Jane said quietly. "I can't quite believe that tonight of all nights was the time we ran into her."

"I hate the anger and jealousy I'm feeling," Maura said quietly.

"I mean, I get it," Jane offered.

"No, Jane, you didn't do anything wrong."

"I know that, but it's not like I haven't be irrationally jealous of your previous boyfriends."

Maura watched as Jane rubbed the palms of her hands up and down her jeans. She knew that despite Jane's words, the other woman was nervous.

"I wanted you to be happy," Maura said sadly. "I feel like a hypocrite. I just…I guess I'm not angry at you or even at Stephanie. I'm angry at the situation. I'm angry that she's been with you, intimately, more than I have, even though I've loved you for years. I'm angry that she's been able to hug and comfort our kids many more times than I have. I'm angry that I lost so much time with you and our family. I'm angry that we'll never get that time back. But Jane, I'm also grateful. I'm grateful that you had someone who cared about you and the girls and treated you well. I'm grateful that you found someone that made you happy, even if it didn't last. It's definitely a weird feeling – this mix of anger and gratitude."

Jane wrapped her arms around Maura, pulling her close before responding, "I'm angry that we lost so much time, too. I don't really know what else to say except…even though I've been with Stephanie – intimately as you say," Jane added with a laugh, "and even though she's had more time with the kids, she could never replace you. Not for me and not for the kids. It was always you, Maura. You were always the person I loved the most. You are and always have been the love of my life." Maura tightened her grip on Jane when Jane called her the love of her life.

"You have always been and will always be Emma, Finn, and Harper's mom. Even when she hugged them or comforted them, she was still never their mother. Yes, she loved them and treated them well. Honestly, she was good for our family. I won't apologize for that. But she was never trying to take your place, nor would I have ever let her. I thought that maybe one day I might be able to love her as much as I loved you, but that didn't happen, which ultimately, is why we broke up. But even if it did, that never, ever would have diminished your place in my heart or in the kids' hearts."

"And ultimately, I know that," Maura said quietly against Jane's chest. "I think I just felt blindsided today, and that's no one's fault, of course, but it was just one more thing on top of an already emotionally draining week." Maura paused to lift her head and lock eyes with Jane. "I need you to know, Jane, that regardless of how I'm feeling in the moment, I mean it when I say that all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. The anger may be more salient right now, but it is no way directed towards you or even Stephanie. But, overall, I'm exponentially more grateful that you had a good person in your life than I am angry that she got to do all the things I wanted so badly to be able to do."

"I know that, Maura, and it's okay to be angry," Jane said. She paused to give Maura a soft kiss on the lips before resting her forehead against Maura's. "I just don't ever want you to doubt how much I love you; how much I love you now, but also how much I loved you the entire time you were gone."

"I feel exactly the same way. I love you so much, Jane," Maura whispered before leaning forward to capture Jane's lips in her own.

"It was a long day, let's go get ready for bed," Jane suggested. As she released her hold on Maura, she looked around the room, adding, "And tomorrow, let's move your stuff to the master bedroom because this is getting a bit ridiculous to have all your stuff in here instead of our bedroom."

Maura smiled. She liked the sound of 'out bedroom.' "I'd like that," Maura replied.

"Mmm, me too," Jane replied, pulling Maura into a standing position along with her. "Now, tomorrow is a very important day, and I want to be well rested for what I know is going to forever be one of my favorite days in my entire life."

Maura chuckled, but she had to admit that Jane's words warmed her heart. In all honestly, she also couldn't wait for tomorrow – for Sophie to officially become a Rizzoli.

A/N: I know that was a lot of Jane with another person, but I hope you can see why it was necessary for this story. While Stephanie may come up briefly in conversations in future chapters, that's definitely the end of scenes where she is a primary or even secondary character.