Teachers and Students, In Love and War
Chapter 34 - Year 2005 – 4th Seventh of May
Continuation
Intended to initiate the tough amalgamation of appeasement, admonition, and explanation between them, Minerva moved forward to get hold of the young Slytherin.
But her hands caught air, as Bellatrix turned away and rushingly exited her office, without a word, without looking back.
For undetermined period, Minerva McGonagall was rooted unmoving at the very spot she was left when Bellatrix Black turned her back and walked out of her office. The intense Professor found herself highly debating the astuteness in following and dragging back the Slytherin student…
But to return into what…? To their disastrous discourse...?
When the emerald-eyed woman could not take the indecision any longer, she finally made a move and rushed out; immediately transfiguring into her animal form even before the door fully shut behind her and then bolted to navigate the shortest and swiftest route to the Headmaster's office.
With absurd speed, the tabby cat had reach the guarding gargoyles that granted entry even without the established password, for Albus Dumbledore had a long standing instruction to give access to Minerva McGonagall— both the human and the animal form… Except if there is an enormous breach of security within the castle, and that barring his Deputy from entering is a protection itself to the said witch.
And so, turning back into her human form, and without any preamble, the current head of Gryffindor house has launched into confiding to him every racking detail of what had transpired during her recent confrontation with a particular student…
Including the unwelcomed physical contact from Bellatrix…
And Minerva's deplorable handling of it…
"I cannae believe how callous I was, Albus! I bloody wiped mah bloody hand! I cannae, cannae understand da hell I was thinking!"
Minerva's cursing and self-castigation filled the Headmaster's office and she could care less with all the portraits listening, specifically the once Headmaster Phineas Nigellus Black when he heard his own family name, who managed to insert his criticism.
"I am not surprise that family members from my brother's side are lacking refinement on courtship. What a disgrace to the Black name! The girl could have at least given you an expensive jewel as gesture of romantic interest before—"
The former Headmaster obviously has more to say, that is truly contributing to Minerva's mounting mortification before Albus Dumbledore interrupted him. He politely asked everyone to depart their frames for the meantime. And he gently reminded them of the confidentiality of the information that while he believes they won't tell others, he requested that they refrain discussing with each other outside of the Headmaster's office and within hearing of anyone else…
Turning to her suffering Deputy, he was about to impart his opinion regarding the latest Bellatrix Black's episode when he was interrupted by a fresh batch of tirade still heavily laced in her ancestral tone.
"Albus! I should have retained the distance. But I didn't. I knew the precarious circumstance and yet…and yet… Arghhh… Ah've lost mah mind if I still hav even da half of it… From da very beginning ye warned me, warned me, Albus! And I failed to remain heedful. And look what ah've done?"
"Minerva…" Albus warned severely. "Do not do this. You are unduly punishing yourself."
"You don't reckon it is mah fault? Ah've I not encouraged the lass by giving her an embrace? Ah've bloody reached out physically to her first!"
"How was reaching out to give comfort has become a fault? Your intrinsic capacity to care for your student has nothing to do with the unfortunate turn of events."
"Why does it make me ask the question then?"
"Don't. I know you, Minerva. Your agenda, I am most certain, is nothing but genuine concern... You just learned the stifling future her parents had imposed on her. You understand the heartache. Many thoughtful adults, but especially you, right at that moment would support her. Don't obscure it with the ill-fated manner she reacted."
"But the ghastly manner ah've reacted? I ken still see in mah mind of Bellatrix's haunted look after my appalling reaction. There is no any justification for that."
"My dear, any unsolicited kiss is never taken by the aggrieved quite lightly. Many are even known to blast the offender, which is the consolation we shall take in this… that we do not have to tend to a bodily injured student." Albus Dumbledore sighed, and took a harder edge in his voice when he added, "Minerva, taking culpability more than it warrants will not help."
"What would? What can help? What do I do, Albus? What can I do?"
"Nothing." Albus answered bluntly.
"You don't mean I let it be?" Minerva could not help her loud aghast. "I cannot forgive myself if anything—"
"Minerva—" Albus raised both hands to stop Minerva on her way again to a ranting frustration. "What I intended to say," he waited until the witch had her lips sipped and her emerald eyes focused on him, "At this very moment, there is nothing you can do that would just marvelously clear everything, IS THERE…?" He posted his answer with a comforting hand on the witch's shoulder.
Of course, Minerva knew that. And she knew that going about it with uneven emotions would get her nowhere. She moved to finally sit down, for she had kept alternately standing and pacing upon arriving at Albus' office when she started her ramblings.
Minerva did admit that she would have to evaluate her own take of the entire fiasco, as evidently it is now compounded with her utter guilt with the way she treated Bellatrix. Yes, the stupid girl should not have made a physical move. But Minerva could have been not as stupid to not foresee it…
Also, she mentally reminded oneself that when she decided to tell Bellatrix a piece of private information last October, it had created an impression of lesser formal relationship between them, despite the fact that she was adamant in being the strict professor that she is… But then, it was her who had insisted on knowing the issue/s causing the student's roundabout attitude every after school breaks.
She rubbed a hand on her face to chase away a bit of tension and she watched Albus followed her and sat down beside her. "You have to give more thought to this before taking any actions that would affect her... And affect you." He reached for her shoulder and had her focused on his next words. "While Bellatrix is here, yes, she is someone who is under your care, our care… But do bear in mind, she will be leaving Hogwarts in just few months; strictly speaking, our duty will end. You must decide to what extent you want to be there for her…"
"I know that I have no true capacity. At least not in the custom I'd rather undertake, somewhere between formal and yet guileless." Minerva grudgingly responded. Then she was the one now locking eyes with the wizard before she stated, "I know, how supposedly, I am left with what you have longed suggested— to take her under my wings— however and whichever that means."
"Minerva—"
"I know Albus that you do not mean to wound me. Not at all… Yet, contrary to what you think," Minerva quietly interposed, "I am not entirely ignorant of the political dynamics of these pureblood families in connection to the mumblings of an imminent debacle. I know about the roles the older students in shifting the tides to be the winning side."
In other words, it includes the potential role of Bellatrix Black and the likes of her… in whatever seems to be coming…
"I'm afraid, no matter how we dislike it, our students are more aware of it." Albus forlornly admitted. "More than what we want to acknowledge of what is conceivable that would…could…involve them."
For once upon a time, I was in the thick of that crucial scheme… that defeated the dark force...
"We both know that very well." Albus added quietly, as if to respond to Minerva's unspoken words of her history… of their history…
It dawned on Minerva that she has finally arrived at the threshold where she could no longer neglect all the signals of inevitable grave conflict that have started exposing itself during the last year or so…
"Albus, are we truly in the brink of another war? Or are we there already without us fully realizing it? Tell me, plainly."
"The Ministry… they think that this is another assortment of dissatisfaction from a certain group, directly being opposed by another. A case similar to the Squib Rights Marches two years ago, foiled by the purebloods…"
"That's what Minister Jenkins probably told you. But, you don't think so?" Minerva asked, although it came out as a statement.
"No… Sincere egalitarianism is not the underlying fuel of the rising provocation." Albus confirmed.
"How ripe the discontent out there, before we plunge ourselves into mayhem?" Minerva's question meant she fully understood that the pulse of what is coming is of malevolence, and not simple rally from one oppressed group attempting to level the field. "Are the students going to be caught in the middle of this, right away? Is Hogwarts safe?"
"The easy answer would be… there's no definite answer."
"And the hard answer?"
"The corrupted design is slowly but surely unveiling."
Albus' words were nothing short of saying that darkness is once again real and gaining power. That despite the lesson of the war during Grindelwald, such simple civility amongst humans is once precarious.
"How are we back on not knowing the disparity of superiority versus equality; of light versus dark…?" Minerva could not help but be naïve for a moment as she posted the rhetoric question.
"Evil would always try to rule, Minerva."
"I suppose… But I'd thought that we've already paid our dues… So that no young people would have to…"
"Outside of Hogwarts, students will be exposed, one way or another… But in here, we will do everything in our power to keep them safe. We will try our damnest."
Both Albus and Minerva knew that it would be irrelevant when these young people have to pick a side, whether of own volition, or if plunged by circumstances.
Once, she did. Triggered by the death of her family… And she was scarcely 14 years old.
When Minerva arrived at Hogwarts at age 11, she was too euphoric with the liberation from the retrains in living in a muggle world, having a muggle pastor for a father. The sense of deliverance from magical suppression when she received her Hogwarts letter made her less caring that her mother made her answer her Hogwarts registration as Minerva Isobel McGonagall… taking McGonagall— her Mother's maiden name, instead of her muggle father's surname.
The moment she set foot at Hogwarts, she was single-minded in learning magic and everything about the wizarding world that she barely paid attention to the rest of the happenings inside the school. She ignored any and all talks of the parallel conflict in the Wizarding world, apparently instigated by Gellert Grindelwald. Resultantly, her first year went by without really noticing it. And while she was worried for her family back home, as muggle war has been going on, she knew that their little town was mostly too far and too insignificant to be of interest.
At Hogwarts, her studiousness provided her positive interference in reading books anywhere and everywhere in the castle, and to practicing and advancing her spells. Minerva presumed it was the same reason that that her peers generally left her to her own domain… But then her family died from muggle air bombing…
To say that it changed her life is understatement of epic proportion. Foremost, while she thought she was family-less in every which way, it led her to discovering that she has a breathing and wealthy grandfather in the Wizarding world… But during their first meeting, all she could focus was the pair of emerald eyes he possesses, eerily like hers.
Minerva was also taken aback that the oldest living McGonagall wizard was more than aware of her existence. In fact, he was completely abreast about her from the time she was born… That he has been tracking her life, including her brothers', but only from a distance... That part, Minerva had discovered as one of her mother's wishes, in respect to her muggle husband.
For all the faults between the disengaged relationship of her mother with her Wizarding family, Minerva understood the love her mother has for her muggle father, of which she resignedly borne the magical suppression in silence all those growing years. And all those poignant compunctions no longer mattered when her family died while she was at Hogwarts.
It was also her grandfather who told her about Grindelwald's possible manipulation of Muggles. That they have traced the connection of Gellert's information that triggered the muggle air raids over Minerva's hometown after the dark wizard unfortunately sensed her mother's subjugated magic; when her mother finally picked up her wand from long dormancy to create some sort of underground shell, ironically, for her family's protection from the muggle war.
The revelation flicked a grave switch inside Minerva. And after spending her term break with her grandfather at McGonagall's Manor, for the first time, she retuned to Hogwarts for her third year, with eyes and ears fully attuned to the political ongoing.
While still studious as ever, she started noting the heated confrontations primarily involving older students. The graver conflicts and bordering dangerous were occurring behind and far from the hearing of their Professors. One morning, she had witnessed upper class student Millicent Bagnold who indisputably threatened one of her fellow Ravenclaw because the latter was spitting vitriol words to a Muggle-born first-year Hufflepuff.
When the said purist Ravenclaw left, Minerva was stunned when Millicent directly spoke to her, addressing that in case she did not understood the situation, it was probably because Minerva was 'lucky' to be having the 'proper' surname… It turned out; her fellow students unintentionally tagged her as 'pureblood', for having a McGonagall as a surname. And no one bothered to prod more.
Then the misconception was possibly supplemented by the unforgettable incident during her sorting… Of when she set the hat-stall record that created a blasted rumor that the hat had recognized much power in her… that it was being all too meticulous on which house to put her without offending any of the four founders…
Added into the mix were the immediate approving nods from Hogwarts Professors regarding her natural magical talents, all within early weeks of Minerva's first school year… And most especially when the most vocal endorsement stamp was from the very popular Transfiguration Professor— Albus Dumbledore, Minerva's Head of house— Gryffindor House.
All these and more turn-about contexts had Minerva fully grasped the gravity of her mother's insistent to use the surname McGonagall at Hogwarts. For some reasons, her mother knew that the name would automatically give her certain threshold. Even though personally, Minerva considered her mother's decision as an expression of reaching out an olive branch to her grandfather.
But after her grandfather died in an ambush by Grindelwald's supporters, Minerva Isobel McGonagall, at age 14, as third year Hogwarts student— crossed the Rubicon the day she knocked at Professor Albus Dumbledore's office and got onboard adults' plot, which eventually brought Grindelwald's capture.
Minerva felt Albus' hand squeezed her left shoulder. It brought her away from the rumination of the Professor-Student relation, which essentially turned as ally, and more nomenclature befitting and yet insufficient to the Albus-Minerva affinity…
She noticed that Albus' normally twinkling eyes are currently replaced with serious one, in a manner confirming that he has the same internal deliberations… That the intertwined history is discernibly heavy on both their minds, both contemplating on how things would play out for seemingly analogous aspect of one professor with one student. That those years in the 40s, it had been Albus Dumbledore-Minerva McGonagall… But now, Minerva has become the Professor, and the student is Bellatrix Black…
"I want you to remember something, Minerva…" Albus weighty voice that conveyed certain gravity cut through the prolonged silence that they have fallen.
"What is it?" Minerva asked with equal severity.
"Minerva… For the coming many years that I would falter… possibly doubt many things of their relevance and of their truthfulness… I want you to always remember, that as far as I'm concerned, it is only you that I'd entrust Hogwarts, without lint of reservation…"
Minerva was stunned at such confidence. While she knew that she and Albus have truly given each other some unfathomable level of reliance, neither was inclined to openly speak of the resulting regard of each other. Despite knowing that once they have committed themselves into certain acute labyrinth which defeated Grindelwald, and that succeeding years proved to have pierced them side by side, more and more, and all striking through Hogwarts…
But before Minerva could response, Albus spoke once again. "I have been in this castle for multiple decades, even before you were born… And I've known wizards and witches who came and left this castle, and more would come and go… but since you were 14 of young age, from the time we've spent side by side… fighting… losing… winning… and surviving… they are more than sufficient foundation of the faith I have in you."
Emerald eyes held the piercing blue eyes of her boss, mentor, quasi-father, and best friend... Truly and deeply, waves of sincerity from him are affecting every bone in Minerva's body; it both heartened and frightened her… For Albus Dumbledore is no cursory fool— the wizard is undoubtedly in the running to being one of the greatest… True, she trumped his transfiguration record, but she would never discount Albus Dumbledore's extensive magical powers over many magical fields that she does not even understand… And so, the implication of such faith in her… of such burden… it was too much… at least at the moment… So instead of being swept away, she opted to infuse with casualness.
"Hmmn… You're telling me that so that in days and days to come, bright and particularly bleak ones, I would let you go about your way, and you'd expect me to ask for no explanation…"
"Ahhh." Albus chuckled. "I might have known you since you were eleven, but I fear that that what you have said is a testament of how you know me…"
It made Minerva chuckled as well. Nonetheless, the banter did not disguise the severity of the exchange between two magical people who is equally committed to Hogwarts. And inevitably, to the light… This moment would go down for both of them as the equivalent of more than blood compact, of more than magical bond, in professing absolute faith, respect, and most treasured friendship, as they face whatever is coming to Hogwarts, to their beloved Wizarding world…
From such extensive memory recollection, and coming back to here and now, emotions have flooded Minerva without a doubt. Intuitively, the older witch sought physical comfort from Hermione, who then immediately shifted to accommodate her. Minerva buried her head on her lap and two arms wrapped around her waist.
Hermione supposed, that as Minerva remembers Albus Dumbledore in such specific heart-rending memory, it is reviving every agonizing pain from the loss of her closest friend. One could even say, that it might as if the wizard has recently died, versus almost 8 years ago... Hermione knew that the woman she loves above all, is now in need of a recess from the narration of personal saga she had ventured tonight, and Hermione let her have it…
As seconds, minutes elapsed; the movement of her hand and fingers causes the only sound in Hermione's room as she caresses Minerva's ebony unbounded hair… The Golden Brain could not help but ponder the last thing that Minerva had recounted, of her conversation with Dumbledore— of their promise with each other…
Hermione knew too well that kind of solemn covenant. She and the boys might have been young students at ages 11 and 12 when they first involved themselves in protecting Nicolas Famel's stone, but year after year as they thwarted evil, they have rendered and renewed similar bond of faith, of respect, and of affection with each other…
Nowadays, 7 years after Harry finally vanquished Voldemort, no one in the Wizarding world does not know who the 'Golden Trio' members are… and of their legendary conquest… Numerous articles had been written about them regarding their adventure, vastly covering even their first year life at Hogwarts… But Hermione, Harry and Ron are certain that no one close could fathom the depth of their relationship and their experience…
Except perhaps for Minerva McGonagall…
Given the things Minerva had revealed to Hermione, she can now see that Minerva has her version of such friendship with Dumbledore… One that was founded and fortified by the overpowering crusade carrying the banner for the light... One that actually predated the 'Golden Trio' for about fifty years… One that probably did not conclude even with Dumbledore's death for Minerva had carried on with the promise to protect Hogwarts with her life… And how Minerva's grief from losing Dumbledore only came when Harry removed Voldemort for good…
After what it felt like an eternity, Hermione's thoughts were interrupted by Minerva's mumblings. Her hands stopped its running and she looked down at the woman in her lap. "I already know what?" she gently asked to clarify from what she had caught from the mumbled words.
Minerva released her buried head from Hermione's lap, maneuvered them into lying position that had both of them facing each other, before she started speaking again. "You already know that I failed to… save Bellatrix."
That one sentence opened an entire section in Hermione's comprehension of Minerva's frame of mind regarding Bellatrix Black. All of a sudden, the picture is obvious of how Minerva took every shed of blame for what had happened to the fallen Slytherin witch.
Minerva returned to the recollection of the past… Of the following weeks after that night that quickly rendered her and all Hogwarts Professors over busy as more and louder conflict arose inside the school amongst the older students. Of how it was alarmingly paralleled with the growing political noise outside Hogwarts with Ministry employees from pureblood families stroking the flame…
It was barely a month into closing of school term in year 1970 when a particular squabble had included the sixth-year Gryffindor Maddock McGonagall. The teenage McGonagall was Minerva's nephew from her last remaining cousin, Malcolm, who has been living in the muggle world. After issuing detentions and complete dressing down to all students caught in the divergence, and more for those belonging to her house, she has detained her nephew in her office, with every intention of further tongue lashing.
The Hogwarts Deputy, the Transfiguration Professor, the Gryffindor Head, and the Aunty in her had prodded Maddock McGonagall of the actual picture of what has been going on amongst the student body. The response that she received had her grappling with the veracity that the simmering and perilous intolerance spurred by evil force that has undoubtedly slipped inside Hogwarts and marinating within students. While her nephew was contrite for joining the physical fight he was caught in, he was bravely maintaining that for him and his friends, they were merely pushing against bigotry.
And then without obfuscation, he asked Maddock if Bellatrix Black has been in the thick of these confrontations. He said that except for the first fights after Easter break, curiously, all incidents have excluded her in any of the ensuing confrontations. But Maddock disclosed with her Aunty/Head of House that the seventh year Slytherin Bellatrix Black is now parading around the castle indifferent of anything and everything. And he thought that the palpable turn-about from Bellatrix was the figurative switch for purist student to unleash their disgusting behavior. That Bellatrix's open fire had been the gun start that had student directly opposing each other. And most of all, Bellatrix seemed to have let go the unseen rope that had restrained most of her chauvinistic housemates by no longer caring about anything… and anyone…
Minerva can't really say she was surprised. Deep inside, she knew she tried to ignore the presentiment because she was casting aside having to deal directly with Bellatrix… At any rate, she felt the cramping in her heart upon hearing from Maddock Bellatrix's decision that exudes nothing else but pessimism. And she can't fault the young woman for it.
The knowledge conflicted Minerva in many ways than she thought she'd subject herself with. For she cares about the young witch… Just not in the manner wanted by Bellatrix.
Truthfully, since that Merlin's forsaken night of her last encounter with Bellatrix, she began assessing the thought of taking Bellatrix as an apprentice so she can get her higher education, albeit in Transfiguration and not Potions. And because Bellatrix would be surely thrown out and disowned by her family, Minerva's offer would have to attach McGonagall Manor as transient refuge to Bellatrix. It goes without saying that such course of action would make Minerva McGonagall as Bellatrix's patron… and by extension— have Dumbledore as second.
In the same vein of complication is the unequivocal declaration of going against the Black family. She'd become a primary target, not just by the Bellatrix's family, but also by the Lestrange for basically snatching Bellatrix from them. And these people do not play fair. Undoubtedly, they will employ cunning manipulation of information regarding Minerva's personal life; she will be subjected to the brutality of bastardization.
And at the center of this convulsion is the compunction of managing Bellatrix's unrequited affection from not toppling into complete misunderstanding… For Minerva is certain that the great concern she has for Bellatrix is not of amorous one.
Those are just the obvious predicament, and Minerva knows that a great deal more of ambivalence would follow. More over, she does not have to be the smartest witch of her age to know that gallantly stepping in to rescue Bellatrix would have the grievous consequence with her Hogwarts' employment, especially when you have pureblood in the board of governors… Even Albus Dumbledore conceded that such price might be too high. Thus, Minerva was left to re-evaluate what she can afford to offer at that time— during those last tormenting days before graduation.
The no decision proved to be the decision.
The day of Hogwarts graduation, Minerva found herself summoned to the Headmaster's office early morning, where she found out that Druella and Cyngus Black have arrived at the castle without notification, to fetch their three daughters. Apparently, they have decided that there is no point of letting Bellatrix attend her own graduation.
When Dumbledore asked Minerva to collect the Black children from the Slytherin dormitory, instead of asking Slughorn (who was too delighted to stay at the Head office to talk to the Black couple), Minerva knew that Albus gave her a tight window to come up with a decision, in relation to Bellarix.
Still undecided on how and which taxing path to go, Minerva was perfunctorily escorting the three sisters to the Headmaster's office when Andromeda informed her that she left something of importance from their dormitory. Narcissa on her part, swiftly volunteered to go back with her sister, and ushered themselves without waiting for Minerva's response.
It ultimately left her with Bellatrix in a deserted hallway, about two turns away from Dumbledore's office, and with the comprehension of how true Slytherin the younger Blacks to have pulled off a quick scheming action, and of how much aware they are of their elder sister's plight.
"Bella," Minerva began after casting a hurried silencing spell around them. "We do not have enough time right now to go into details. But here is my offer that can pull you from your situation— you'd take mastery on Transfiguration and I will mentor you."
"Professor, I do not understand. My family will not allow me—"
"No. It'd be a consummate defiance. You will be disowned. I do not know how much you're willing to gamble in order to escape a pre-marriage you do not want. And I also do not know to what extent they will make you pay for it. But if I mentor you, at least you do not have to make a run and hide away. You can stay with me and we will arrange for some sort of work for you that—."
"Professor... I am not a charity case."
"No, you are not… Listen, it is not as uncommon for mentor to extend support over academic to one's apprentice. The work we'd arrange would help you earn living provision, and it can be something you can start on… I realised that all these assumptions are not without faults, not to mention many unknown daunting aspects… But I know that in this manner; it will take you from unwanted wedding and open the gate you wanted in building your desired life. And I believe that your sisters are resourceful enough to find a way to keep in touch with you."
"I do not know what my sisters be caught in the middle of my disobedience…"
"I know it is not ideal—"
"And you!" Bellatrix gasped. "My parents will make you pay."
"At least they will have someone else to curse and not solely focused on damning you as you build your life." Minerva responded nonchalantly.
"You don't understand— The Black family will DESTROY you…
"You think that did not cross my mind? But I will deal with it… Besides Dumbledore—"
"You do not know my mother! She will hunt you down in her perverted shrewd way. I cannot let that happen. I love you truly to be—"
"Bella, no… You mustn't let yourself be ruled by your emotions… From now on, you have to use your head in making decisions in life, particularly hard ones… Our world will be tougher with the conflicts rising everywhere. You must set aside your feelings for me… We do not have time now, but as soon as you get home, find a way to contact me—"
"Why?"
"So you can send me details on how I can get to you and bring you under my care."
"I meant, WHY are you doing this? You mentioned Dumbledore… Am I a mere task?"
"What? How can you be a task when you are a person…? Bella, I do care about you. I know we do not see eye-to-eye of what that entails… But I really care. Of what will happen to you… Think, please, you know that something unsafe is coming. And I don't want you entangled in it."
"But you really do not… love me?" Bellatrix asked, but it wasn't really a question, as palpable with such brimming sadness in her utterance.
"Bloody Merlin, why are we back to that? We do not have time—"
"Am I really not worthy of your love?" Bellatrix grieved nearly inaudibly, but Minerva heard it so clearly.
"Please, Bella…" Minerva helplessly reacted, in the same level of Bellatrix's voice.
"You are willing to risk yourself… But…" Dawn of understanding reached Bellatrix, and in her mind she seemed to have seen another picture. She took a deep breath at the realisation, before she uttered, "But it is not for me. You're bravely making this decision but really not for me. But for the notion of—"
"What are you talking about?" Minerva asked in exasperation, and partly in concealed apprehension.
"You don't even realise it...? No… No… You KNOW…"
Of course Minerva is not a fool to not know what Bellatrix is pointing out. From that night of frank discussion with Albus, they have had discussed back and forth the power of young people, mainly in coursing the tide of where the world would turn, especially of cultural and political shift…
Additionally, her conversation with her own nephew had solidified the belief that Bellatrix has the potential to spread crucial influence… crucial as the Wizarding society is about to head into another uncertain times…
And of course, Minerva did anticipate that Bellatrix would comprehend the whole picture, the young witch is after all a very intelligent one. But Minerva figured that… well, first things first…
"I do not know what you want me to say, Bella… But I can only be truthful to you. And when I've said that I care about you… I do… I care for you very much to take the risk of, as you say, have your family's wrath turned on me—"
But Bellatrix seemed to have stopped listening, and ran over Minerva's words. "People have always said that Dumbledore is the person you measure anyone against, that's why no one would ever win your favor… But now, I understand more that it is not so… It is not because of Dumbledore himself. It is because of you, yourself… Because you and Dumbledore are of the same— of the same grass… whether you are aware of it or not…"
"You know nothing, Bellatrix…" Minerva hissed; she could not keep the offence in her respond.
"Maybe. But I know that the road you're trekking is a lonely one."
Somewhere in Minerva's guts, Bellatrix was hitting a spot. But Minerva tried to contain her temper and internally gather herself. "Please Bella, we can talk about this some other time when—"
"Thank you, Professor." Bellatrix interrupted. And raised her dark eyes, pinned emerald ones and resolutely said, "But I want to be chosen for me… and not as a… chess piece."
"You are being foolish." Minerva could not stop the slight anger that came out. "Life is not all flowery and romance! Those who refuse to accept this facet of life are bound for unimaginable misery. You cannot possibly grasp the price to pay for putting forth romantic love. I HAVE seen how it consumes a person and the eventual lack of control thereby imprisoning oneself. And worst of all, it can dictate sufferings for many other people, it will unjustly claim lives, all the more raising the price that no one— NO ONE can afford."
Minerva was nowhere finished, but words ceased leaving her lips when suddenly Bellatrix's arms wrapped around her in a fierce embrace. She could feel the trembling and vaguely realised that it was coming from both of them. Minerva's heart was racing from the sense of final despair concerning the young witch she truly cares about… If only she could make herself bend the truth, hook-in Bellatrix for the meantime that would both serve the younger witch and the greater picture that Dumbledore speaks of, as evil force is rallying to plunge their world into absolute chaos… Except, Minerva has culpabilities but deceitfulness is not one of them. She is not wired to manipulate anyone, let alone a student quite dear to her…
"Bella, we have few more days before you're wed to a life you do not want. I am not giving up." Minerva practically pleaded as Bellatrix started withdrawing her hold on her.
"Professor, thank you, thank you for the intention to… save me… But I am going to look for my own deliverance. Or die trying…"
"Don't say that! Think! Think of what I have offered. You KNOW it has merit... And I know you can find a way to contact me—"
"Thank you for always being honest with me… People have overlooked you because of Dumbledore. But YOU… you are really the real deal, the unattainable. And rightly so…" Bellatrix gave Minerva her heartfelt reverence. And just before she wholly release the older witch, she returned to close the space between them, placed a chaste kiss on Minerva's check and whispered, "Please do not forget how I love you. Goodbye, Minerva."
Bellatrix moved away, turned, and departed for the Headmaster's office. Minerva was left in the hallway, staring blankly until she realised the two younger Black daughters are within short distance, who then tentatively passed her… But the look that they gave her certainly conveyed an understanding of what transpired between her and their elder sister, despite not being there to witness the conversation.
And for Minerva, it was beginning of indescribable guilt, for not doing more…
End of Chapter
Title: Teachers and Students, In Love and War
uploaded: 18 April 2021
Note: Maddock McGonagall - In this story, he is intended as the same Gryffindorr Quidditch Player whose initials M.G McGonagall (Year 1971) were engraved on a Quidditch trophy Harry Potter and friends see in the Philosopher's stone, except I made him as Minerva's nephew from her last remaining cousin.
Thank you for reading!
I hope I've given a great deal of picture why our Minerva is so... you know... her... :)
Stay safe.