Unaware of what was happening to Jack and Mac, Harm steeled himself as he stepped into the general's office. The same general who had been away for a few days and so his chair and his desk were occupied by none other than Sturgis Turner.

Once upon a time, Sturgis Turner had been Harm's friend. True, they had never been as close as he and Keeter, or he and Luke Pendry, but they were friends. Sturgis did belong into that little circle of somewhat boys and tempered their recklessness with his steadiness. They made fun of him often, but at the same time admired him and his moral compass and courage to stand up for what was right. They all wished more than once to be as level-headed and organized. But somehow along the way this morality and personal conviction have turned into seld-righteousness. Sturgis Turner sitting now in the General's chair, Sturgis Turner the acting JAG seemed an entirely different and unknown person to Harm. This Sturgis Turner was a prig.

Unable to hide his annoyance Harm unceremoniously sat into one of the armchairs without asking. Sturgis' mouth tightened but he said nothing. Harmon Rabb was not the only one capable of a blatant passive-aggressive attitude. He was also not the only one longing for the lost friendship. Sturgis was pondering what exactly had happened as well. Where did that mischievous but mostly innocent and upright Harm go? Now all he could see was an arrogant jerk with secrets he would not share, truths he would lie about. But most of all Sturgis had been deeply hurt and offended by the sheer disrespect and sneers he had had to endure after Chegwidden retired. Some friend!

"Why don't you make this quick, Sturgis?" Harm said with a huff, already impatient to get out of the office again.

"Why not indeed," Sturgis returned and thumbed through a slim manila file in his hands. "I assume you already know what is in this... document?"

"Not word for word but I have a general idea."

"Maybe you should read it word for word before you say anything more."

"I don't need any lawyering advice from you, Turner."

Cold anger flashed in Sturgis' eyes.

"If you had taken any advice from me you might not be in this mess, Rabb! Right from the start, I kept asking you if you and Mac were involved. You never gave me a straight answer which I should have taken more seriously! Especially after she admitted..." he stopped suddenly, cutting the sentence off, but Harm's face, for the first time since he had stepped into the room, lit with alert.

"She admitted what?"

Sturgis seemed to hesitate but then went on: "I don't think I'm bound by any promises anymore anyway. She admitted to being in love with you and then swore me to secrecy. I suppose she doesn't care about keeping that particular secret anyway if you two are making out in JAG's corridors for anyone to see."

"When?"

"According to this report, just a few days ago. Or have you already forgotten?"

"No. I mean.. when did she tell you... she was in love with me?"

His eyes were not exactly pleading, but the question was earnest. When? When could she have told Sturgis of all people?

"I don't remember exactly. It was shortly after I joined the headquarters."

"You mean to say," started Harm after a moment of stunned silence, "that you have known for over three years... but you never told me?"

"Why should I have? You went out of your way to convince me and the world you did not care for her that way. And when a woman asks me to keep her secret, why should I go and reveal it to the source of her problem? It was a momentary lapse of thinking on her part anyway," Sturgis tried to brush it off. "Her mouth was running ahead of her brain for some reason. I have asked you to do this then and I am asking you to do this now: Leave me out of whatever it is you and Mac have. Because I sure don't understand it."

"Then why all this?" Harm asked mockingly, making a sweeping gesture towards the manila folder. His anger was simmering under the surface, fueled even more by the unexpected confession. He knew! The bastard had known all these years! If only he had spoken! If only he had given him an inkling, none of this would be happening! He could almost see it in front of his eyes now. Sturgis winking at him, telling him about Mac and her true feelings. He would march up to her apartment the same night and speak about his own emotions without hesitation, without fear of rejection!

But no. He knew that would have been wrong. This mess was his doing. And Mac's. But he blamed himself the most. He should have told her he loved her in Paraguay. He should have told her he loved her after Bud had lost his leg. He should have told her he loved her while crossing the final line at Jagathon. He should have told her he loved her when they had fished him out of the Atlantic. He should have thrown her over his shoulder and kidnap her from her engagement party... And before... they had been so many chances even before that. He never took them.

His shoulders fell slightly. Would the feeling of guilt of letting her down ever go away?

Sturgis, on the other hand, bristled up.

"All this," he repeated firmly, "is a legal document accusing you and Mac of seriously breaking regulations. As an acting JAG it is my duty to address these accusations, which is why I have invited you here to speak your piece before I decide what is to be done next."

Had he said he had asked Harm to talk for the sake of old friendship, out of respect or loyalty towards people whom he had worked and socialized with for years now, Harm probably would have listened. But the self-important tone almost made it feel as if Sturgis was actually enjoying this. Harm eyed his face but could read nothing from it.

"Do you deny you have an affair with Sarah Mackenzie?" Sturgis merely asked, his voice maddeningly impassive.

"I love her," Harm answered simply. It was not an affair. Such a cheap, ugly word. No. They were not having an affair. They loved each other. But even he knew everybody would simply hear "yes" in that answer. Sturgis did.

"In that case consider yourself and her under investigation. Your Article 32 is to be scheduled within the next few days. I advise you to not leave the city."

Harm was merely looking at him. He was angry, yes. But more than anything he felt disappointed and hurt. This man used to be his friend. Even in those moments when Luke and Jack became a little bit too crazy when they drank so much they saw double or chased after girls, Sturgis would often help to clean up their mess. Harm and Sturgis were the ones to get the party safely back on the campus or leave the backdoor open. Friends.

"What happened, Sturgis?" he questioned the other man, who was currently rummaging through some papers on the desk. "Why do you hate me so much?"

Sturgis' head snapped back up.

"Not everything is about you, Rabb!" he said with undisguised vitriol. "Hate you? I don't hate you! My decisions have nothing to do with you being you, Commander! It has to do with you disregarding the good morals and conduct you once swore to uphold! I am merely fulfilling my duty as an officer entrusted with great responsibility! My decision is the decision of the Acting Judge Advocate General. It is not your place to question it in any way!"

The anger was back.

"Are you sure this is not actually about you, Commander Turner? About your head swelling up? Because all I can see is a man on a power trip!"

A fist slammed into the desk and Sturgis was now on his feet.

"Dammit, Rabb! You have done this before! You undermine me, you disrespect me, you insult me! You just cannot stand the idea of not being the one chosen to do all of the important work around here, can you? Well, pal, with Admiral Chegwidden retired you are no longer the golden-haired boy of JAG anymore! Learn to live with it! Dismissed!"

More out of habit than anything else Harm stood at attention for a second, then turned to leave. With his hand on the door handle, he turned to say: "I want Bud as defence counsel."

"Too bad. I have already assigned him to prosecute."

"You did not! Sturgis, he is my friend. Our friend! You cannot make him to this!"

"He is a Naval officer and he will do what he is ordered to do. Dismissed."

"Sturgis, this is cruel to him!"

"You can go now."

"Why do I have the feeling you have just decided this now anyway, only to piss me off?"

"Do you really want to test me some more, Commander?" Sturgis spat out. His dark skin turned positively ashen but his expression remained stoic and distant. Harm pressed his own lips together into a thin line. Oh, he would love to test him. With his fists!

"Dare I ask whom you have chosen for the defence, then?"

"You should know that Lieutenant Hartley has offered herself for that," Sturgis said only to be interrupted by Harm scoffing. After a moment he added: "But since she is likely to be called as a witness, that was impossible. I will let you know once my decision is made. Now, dismissed," he said.

Harm gave him a last, long look in which disgust and disappointment were mixed, then turned to leave.

"I want you to know one thing, Harm," he heard Sturgis just as he was stepping out of the office. "Before you have expressed your true feeling for me today I was ready to defend you and Mac myself."

Harm did not turn around.