35 ~ Touch Me

I'm gonna love you
'Till the heavens stop the rain

[1985]

Hyde woke up to sunlight streaming through the thin linen curtains of his and Jackie's bedroom. Jackie herself was lying in his arms, sleeping. He took a few moments to enjoy the fact that it was Saturday and he could just lay in bed with his wife.

Even after five years, he still wasn't sick of being able to call her his wife.

He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and got out of bed. He walked out to the kitchen. Today would be a good day to surprise Jackie with breakfast. He got out bread, eggs and cinnamon while he heated the pan on the stove.

He cracked some eggs into a bowl, then whisked them with a fork. He added plenty of cinnamon, per Jackie's preference.

As he mixed in the cinnamon, thin arms wrapped around his waist. Jacke hooked her chin over his shoulder. "French toast?"

"With extra cinnamon."

Jackie began pressing light kisses over his neck. He smiled a little as he dipped the bread in the egg mix, then placed it on the pan. The French toast sizzled as it started cooking. Jackie's kisses became more tender, inching closer to the most sensitive spots on his neck.

"If you keep doing that, breakfast'll never get made," Hyde said.

"Breakfast can wait," Jackie said between kisses.

Hyde turned around in her arms. She gave him a coy look, which was adorable with her sleep-mussed hair. He gave her one good, lingering kiss, then said, "Go sit at the table and the toast will be done in a sec."

Jackie gave him a look, but said, "Fine." She got out two glasses from the cupboard and set them on the table. Hyde flipped the French toast as she poured two glasses of orange juice.

After setting the glasses on the table, Jackie sat in one of the chairs. Hyde started the second set of toast. "I love watching you cook."

"You say that every time I cook," Hyde said.

"Well, it's true. Just like I'll never stop telling you I love you, I'll never stop telling you I love watching you cook," Jackie said.

Hyde turned the stove off and brought the two plates of French toast to the table. He kissed Jackie quickly before sitting down.

Hyde took a moment to enjoy the morning. Today was never an easy day. The rest of it wouldn't be, but he had this morning. And he knew Jackie would do everything she could to make today easier.

Having her always made the anniversary of Edna's death easier.

Dark shadows swirled around Kelso. Eric felt helpless as he watched Kelso's skin open itself up in deep gashes.

"No, no, no, no, no," Eric said, repeating the word over and over.

He watched through a blurry curtain of unshed tears as a deep cut worked itself across Kelso's neck. Blood poured out, down Kelso's chest. Kelso dropped to the ground, unmoving.

The shadows dissipated, leaving Kelso's bloody body. Eric took the body in his arms, getting blood on himself in the process. "No, no, no, no, no…"

Kelso's eyes were open and glassy, staring at nothing. Blood continued to seep out of his wounds, onto Eric's hands. He checked Kelso's pulse as best he could. He found nothing.

"No!" Eric shouted.

Eric woke up abruptly. His face was damp. He must have been crying. He looked to his side. Donna was still asleep.

Eric quietly got out of bed and walked to the living room. He picked up the telephone and dialed a number he'd called at many odd hours in the night.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Brooke. It's Eric."

"One second, I'll wake him up."

The line was silent for a moment, then Kelso's voice came across. "Hey, Eric."

"Hey. Had the dream again. Just…"

"Had to make sure. I get it. Still feels unreal to me sometimes. But I'm alive. I know I'm alive 'cause I feel tired as hell at three in the morning. I'm not mad at you for calling me though."

"Thanks. I swear I'll stop calling you someday. I'm not having the dream as often now."

"Yeah, that's what you said three years ago. Eric, I really don't mind. I only minded when Jacks was a baby and I had just fallen asleep after hours of crying."

"Yeah, I have great timing with my nightmares."

Kelso laughed. It was comforting to hear. "You good now?"

"Yeah."

"All right. See you later, yeah?"

"See you later." Eric hung up the phone and sat on the couch. Donna joined him a moment after.

"Had the dream again?" she asked.

He nodded. "It just feels so real."

Donna nodded. She wrapped her arms around him. He melted into her embrace.

Kelso picked Jacks up and placed her on his shoulders. "Now I'm the tallest!" she said, looking down at Betsy.

Betsy pouted at her. "You have an unfair advantage! Mommy, if you pick me up-"

"Honey, mommy can't pick you up like that." Broke patted her large stomach. "It might hurt your brother."

"Oh! Sorry!" Betsy looked at Brooke's stomach. "Sorry, little brother."

"Daddy, do you think Uncle Hyde made the peanut butter cookies?" Jacks asked.

"He promised he would last time. If he didn't, you have my permission to tackle him," Kelso said.

"All right! I think I can take him down this time," Jacks said.

"Remember not to be too rough," Brooke said.

"I won't!" Jacks said.

"Kelso, Brooke, over here!" Eric called over from the spread of picnic blankets and assorted Tupperwares.

The four of them joined the others. Brooke put down their cooler of drinks.

Kelso set Jacks down. She immediately rushed over to Hyde and tackled him into the grass. He laughed as she bounced on top of him. "Did you make the cookies?"

"Of course I did," Hyde said. He turned his head towards Jackie. "Jackie, you got the cookies?"

"Over here." Jackie lightly shook a Tupperware of cookies. Jacks hopped off Hyde and rushed over to Jackie.

"What do you say, Jacks?" Brooke asked, carefully sitting down.

"Thank you!" Jacks hugged Jackie.

Betsy tugged her sleeve. "Let's go check out the new slide at the playground!" They ran over to the playground, leaving the cookies behind.

Kelso sat next to Brooke on the picnic blanket. Hyde got up from the ground and sat next to Jackie. "Anyone heard from Fez or Rhonda?" Kelso asked.

"I sent them a letter a week ago," Donna said. "Who knows if it reached them."

As if on cue, Rhonda's old Chevy Townsman pulled up near Hyde's El Camino. Fez and Rhonda got out and walked over, several bags in Fez's hands.

"I brought you all some things from Terra Tempestas!" Fez said. "Oh, and hello to you all."

"We'll tell you about the trip after Coco Puff gives out his gifts," Rhonda said, sitting down on the blanket.

Fez handed everyone a wrapped package. He gave Hyde one last. "This is from the Dream Wizards. They included a letter that explains it and told me to tell you to open it later."

Hyde nodded and put the gift in his and Jackie's picnic basket.

Jackie went ahead and opened her gift. It was a leather necklace, similar to the one Hyde was currently wearing, but more feminine and with more beads. "Ooh! This is beautiful. And now Steven and I can match! Thank you, Fez."

Donna went next. She opened the long box and pulled out a shining sword. "It's the sword I used… Kickass! How did you get it back?"

"The Dream Wizards figured out a deal with the mayor of the Village of Dragons. The Red Lady deserves her sword," Fez said.

"Hell yeah. I should put this in the car so the kids don't cut each other in half." Donna walked over to the Vista Cruiser and put the sword away.

"Eric, Kelso, open yours together," Fez said once Donna returned.

They opened their gift to reveal small fragments of purple crystal. "Is this from Peace Moonchild's staff?" Eric asked

"Yes. Peace Moonchild is still the designated protector of the forest. The Dream Wizards visited him when they found out his magic had been broken. They found him in a cave with the crystal fragments. He is all right now, and he wanted you both to have a piece of his old magic," Fez said.

"Sick," Kelso said, holding the crystal up in the sunlight. "Thanks, dude."

"No problem." Fez scooted closer to Rhonda, who wrapped her arm around his shoulders.

"You guys have to tell us everything about your trip," Donna said.

"Oh, we will. After we eat," Rhonda said.

Brooke turned toward the playground. "Kids, time to eat!"

Jackie sat with Donna, Brooke and Rhonda. Steven, Michael, Eric and Fez were playing some kind of game with the kids. The sun was nearly setting, stretching their shadows on the grass.

Jackie adored watching Steven play with the kids. He would make a good father. But they'd agreed a long time ago that they didn't want kids of their own. It was fun to watch Betsy and Jacks once in a while, but Jackie didn't want that full-time.

In any case, Steven had said plenty of times that if he ever accidentally got her pregnant, they'd raise the kid as best they could. Unless that happened, they were content to host sleepovers for their unofficial nieces while their friends enjoyed some rest time.

"How's Hyde doing today?" Donna asked. "He didn't call me this morning like he has the past five years, so I'm taking that as a good sign."

"He seems all right. I think he's holding it in for the kids," Jackie said. "The only reason he didn't call you is because he made me breakfast and then I… kept him busy, so to speak."

Donna raised her eyebrows. "Right. But he seems okay?"

"Yeah." Jackie tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Anyway, how's the book?"

"The collection of short stories is selling well," Donna said. "It's still surreal seeing it on bookshelves in actual bookstores."

"I read it and really enjoyed it," Brooke said. "You are a far better storyteller than Michael. Which was good for most of the story, until you got to his death. I cried for hours. Although, that was mostly due to hormones from my pregnancy."

Donna sighed, absentmindedly running her hand over her abdomen. "Is that what I have to look forward to with my pregnancy?"

Brooke smiled softly. "Yes, along with about a hundred other awful things. But it's definitely worth it."

"Of course. Eric's already thinking of baby names. It's only been a week since we found out," Donna said, smiling at Eric, who was having a pretend lightsaber battle with Betsy.

Brooke yawned and patted her round stomach. "One of the great things about pregnancy is getting tired really early. I think it might be time for us to head home." She stood up. "Michael, Betsy, Jacks, you ready to go?"

All three of them whined, "We don't wanna go yet!"

Brooke sighed exasperatedly. She walked over and spoke to Michael, who nodded and started getting the kids ready to go. Betsy and Jacks hugged Steven one last time, then left with Michael and Brooke.

Eric found his way over to Donna. "Think we should head out, pretty lady?" He looked down at her stomach. "And possible future pretty lady?"

"Sure." Donna smiled at Eric and wrapped her arm around him.

"We should head out too, Coco Puff," Rhonda said as Fez and Steven walked over.

"Yes, we should be rested for the rally tomorrow," Fez said. "We are protesting gay rights!"

"Good luck, man. Can't wait to hear about you in the news," Steven said.

"You ready to head out too?" Jackie asked.

"Not yet. There was something I wanted to do with you," Steven said.

"Ooh," Fez crooned. Jackie gave him a look. He smiled and turned to Rhonda. "Let's get going."

Rhonda took his hand and they walked to her car. Eric and Donna followed after them. Jackie looked up at Steven. "So, what's this thing you want to do with me?"

"Well, first I want to open the thing Fez brought me. Then I thought we could watch the sunset from the point," Steven said.

Jackie smiled. "That sounds perfect."

Hyde parked the El Camino at the best part of Mount Hump to watch the sunset from. He grabbed the blanket he usually kept in the flatbed and laid it out on the grass. He turned on the radio and grabbed the gift while Jackie sat down.

"What do you think it is?" Jackie asked once he sat down.

"I don't know." Hyde took the letter out.

Steven,

If this letter arrives on time, it is the sixth anniversary of your birth mother's death. We understand this can be difficult and we hope Jackie is helping to ease the difficulty. We thought you might enjoy this little token of our appreciation for ending Edna's abuse of power.

It is an old instrument called a starfinder. It helps to find constellations in the night sky. It was invented by the first of the Dream Wizards. We hope you are able to find the constellations not only in the stars, but in whatever broken pieces may remain in your life.

Best wishes,
Rhiannon, Gloria and Rosalita

Hyde passed the note to Jackie so she could read it while he opened the gift. It looked like a kaleidoscope. He looked through it to find a continually shifting lens, distorting as he moved it. He'd have to see how it worked once the stars came out.

"Hey, maybe now you can find the constellations on your own," Jackie said.

"I've gotten better. I found Orion once or twice," Hyde said.

"Hate to break it to you, but Orion is the easiest constellation to find because of the belt."

"Yeah, I know. But I like it when you point them out to me."

Jackie smiled and scooted closer to him. "Not to bring the mood down, but… How are you doing?"

"This year's been better than the others. Mostly I'm just thinking about all the memories she made me relive, not her death." He was silent for a moment. "Remember the night before, when you told me to keep the picture of us at prom? Remember what you said?"

"Yeah. I told you to keep it because it was your memory."

"I didn't understand what you meant then, but a few months after we got back to Point Place, I got it. It was your memory when Kelso had broken your heart and I was your only place to go. Then it became my memory when all I had of you was that picture."

Jackie smiled softly. "Yeah, exactly."

"You wanna hear something stupid and sappy?"

"Always."

"We were in the Village of Dragons, and we decided to go watch the sunset. Donna and Forman got all cuddled up and romantic, Kelso and Fez were messing around. I was sitting alone and I missed you like hell, so I took out the picture because it was the closest I could get to watching the sunset with you."

"Aww. I always said you were a romantic at heart." Jackie kissed him softly.

"Only when it comes to you," Hyde said. He kissed her again, threading one hand through her hair.

He lost himself to the feeling of her lips and hands. Before he knew it, the sun had long since disappeared below the horizon, giving way to the twinkling stars.

"You should try out your starfinder," Jackie said eventually.

Hyde pointed it toward the sky and looked through it. The lens shifted for a few seconds, then began to draw lines between the stars. For the first time, he saw the constellations clearly.

"Huh. That's cool." Hyde lowered the starfinder. He handed it to Jackie, who checked it out.

"Ooh. There are a few constellations here that I'd never found before."

"No way."

Jackie lowered the starfinder. "Yes, way. I don't know every single constellation."

"Sure seemed like it all those times we came out here," Hyde teased.

Jackie smiled. "It only seemed like that because you didn't know any of the constellations. I could have been making them up on the spot."

"I wouldn't have believed you. Not for the first few months, anyway. But after the nurse and our make up, I would have believed anything you said." Hyde shook his head. "It's crazy how much I trust you. Well, it isn't now, but back then…"

"What do you mean?"

"It was hard to trust people. When you have people abandoning and abusing you for years, it gets… scary."

Jackie slipped her fingers between his. "Do you think your mind is still grey and shadowy?"

"Maybe just a little. But for the most part, it doesn't feel that way anymore. The shadows are kind of… contained to the bad memories. To Edna and Bud and all that bullshit. But everything else seems normal. You, Forman, Donna, Kelso, Fez, the kids… it's brighter. Today feels darker because I'm thinking about Edna more."

Jackie wrapped her arms around him snugly. He leaned into her embrace. He closed his eyes and thought about what the Dream Wizards had said in their letter.

We hope you are able to find the constellations not only in the stars, but in whatever broken pieces may remain in your life.

The only broken pieces in his life were the ones that Edna had broken for him. It was the ever present knowledge that he was a murderer. The nagging feeling that he never truly got closure with Edna, didn't get his final word in. It was the guilt from years and years of being told that everything was his fault.

He supposed the constellations between those broken pieces were the good things that came from the bad.

Without Edna's death, he wouldn't have been able to move on completely. He always would have had that possibility she could return and hurt him again.

He may not have returned to Jackie without Edna's death.

"I'm really glad we're here, together. I'm glad we found our way back to each other," Hyde said.

"Me too. We belong together, don't you think?"

Hyde pulled away from her hug to smile at her. "Yeah."

Jackie kissed him. He laid down on the blanket and gestured for her to lay with him. She cuddled into his side.

"So, where's Cassiopeia?" he asked.

Jackie pointed to the W-shaped cluster of stars. "She's right up there, ruling the sky with her unrivaled beauty."

Hyde chuckled. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." Jackie pointed to another star cluster. "That's Ursa Minor, the little dipper…"

As Jackie started explaining the story, Hyde felt happy. He didn't need a magic starfinder. He had the most magical person he knew right by his side to show him the stars. And she helped him see not only the constellations, but the good in his life that had come from the broken pieces.

She was truly his Starlight, his North star that guided him through the darkest nights. And he was damn glad he'd found her.

"I love you, Starlight," he said once she finished her story.

"I love you too, Raindrop."

She kissed him deeply. He felt the piece of his heart that was hers warm. They belonged together, as much as the stars belonged in the sky.

I'm gonna love you
'Till the stars fall from the sky
For you and I