You should be familiar with the song "I Want the Good Times Back" from The Little Mermaid on Broadway before reading this chapter.
In the throne room, Where Villains Gather, Maleficent had called together an assembly of her most trusted Overtakers. Filling in all thirteen seats were Hades, Loki, Doom, Ursula, Fish, Russell, Steve, Jafar, Hook, Grimhilde, Cruella, and Kieran.
"Are we really sure that he should be sitting at the adult table?" Cruella asked as she gestured to Kieran.
Kieran opened his mouth to respond, but Fish clicked her tongue twice to silence him before he could.
"He's here with me to learn," Fish said. "You have a problem with that?"
"Oh, of course not, darling," Cruella replied, though her words lacked any sincerity.
"Normally I would include Blackheart or Ardyn in so critical a meeting," Maleficent remarked. "Yet the path ahead of us requires a bit more... finesse. Those of us present will suffice to discuss the tasks at hand. For you see-"
"The magical protection spell you guys have here is too nutty, cats," a voice said, interrupting Maleficent.
"Who DARES?" Jafar growled angrily.
A diminutive blue-skinned man wearing round sunglasses and winged sandals flew into the chamber. Fish wasted no time whipping out her pistol and firing at the man. However, he managed to fly out of the way of her bullet before it could hit him.
"Whoa, whoa, don't shoot the messenger, babe," he said.
"DON'T call me babe," Fish warned.
"Oy, Hermes, what in my name are you doing here?" Hades asked.
"Just here for you, H-Man," Hermes said as he flew over to Hades's throne. "Got a special telegram from the Big Z."
Hermes handed Hades a scroll from his bag. Hades quickly scanned it before flaring up in anger.
"A Council of the Gods Soirée?" Hades asked. "Are you KIDDING me?"
"Attendance mandatory, babe," Hermes emphasized before flying away. "Ciao!"
"Ay-ay-ay," Hades said, rubbing his temples. "Can't get AWAY from these flamin' things. And, hey, whoop-de-doo, it's tonight so whatever you were plannin', Mal, is gonna have to go on without me."
"This need not be a negative," Maleficent said with a devious smirk. "Perhaps this soirée on Mount Olympus is exactly the opportunity we need to further our plans."
"Zeusy won't let me bring all of you folks," Hades said. "I can only bring... Oh, hey! A plus one option! Malef, babe, if you come along, I'll have the hottest chick in the universe as arm candy to rub in my brothers' face."
"And more to the point," Maleficent said, mildly annoyed at being referred to as arm candy, "The two of us will have an opportunity to search for information on the final Gem of Cronus."
"Ha-HA! YES!" Hades declared. "Date night and the chance to get closer to ultimate power all in one. That's what we in the biz call a double-dilly!"
"And what of the rest of us?" Loki asked.
"Take the night off for personal matters," Maleficent said. "We will resume our scheming tomorrow."
Maleficent and Hades vanished from their thrones into Corridors of Darkness in order to prepare for their infiltration of Olympus.
"Unbelievable," Doom growled. "My time being as valuable as it is, and she wastes it!"
"Oh, come now, Doom," Loki said. "It has been far too long since you and I had a chance to enjoy an evening alone together. Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise."
"I think we all could probably use a date night with our significant others," Russell said.
"Oh, baby, I'd love to, but I'm just too busy," Steve said.
"Not takin' no for an answer," Russell said. "You're always busy, and now you're technically under orders to take the evenin' off. So, c'mon, let's go OUT!"
"Go out and have some fun," Ursula said to Steve. "Everyone's been such a grouchy-guppy lately. It'll do us all some good."
"Well, alright," Steve agreed.
"Excellent!" Russell said with a laugh.
"I suppose I would not object to an evening out," Jafar said as he and Hook exchanged a glance.
"I do owe Cruella an evening of romance after how much time I've had to devote to controlling Empress Celene," Grimhilde chimed in.
"...I guess I'll just stay home and do a little target practice," Kieran said, suddenly aware that he was the only single person in the room.
"If you wanna get laid, Sarah Sanderson will almost certainly oblige," Russell said.
"Please don't listen to him," Fish said with a sigh.
"But y'all, one thing," Steve announced to the group. "Absolutely no dates in Radiant Garden. We're too close to the election for any funny business."
"Why the bloody Hell would anyone want to go on a date in Radiant Garden?" Hook asked with a scoff.
"Just bein' clear," Steve said.
"Okayyyy!" Russell said as he patted the arms of his throne excitedly. "Operation Date Night is a GO!"
When Jafar told Hook that he was taking him to a hive of gambling and disreputable people, Hook had expected a dirty tavern with flagons of mead and cheap whores plying their trade. Canto Bight was none of those things. A ritzy, clean, and golden city offset by a beautiful river and waterfall, this world was nothing that Hook was used to. The patrons of this city's various expensive recreational activities all wore extravagant and unique clothing with a black and white color scheme that constantly reminded Hook of Cruella's hair. To ensure that they blended with the locals, Jafar altered the red and gold trimmings of his own outfit to appear white and gave Hook a black and white paisley patterned vest to replace the leather one.
"When you mentioned that we were to enjoy an evening of monetary acquisition, I'd pictured sacking and looting a town or hunting for buried treasure," Hook said as he sized up the various people entering the casino. "Not consorting with blue bloods."
"Perspective, my dear captain," Jafar cooed. "There's more than one way to relieve others of their material wealth. Force is a useful tool, but the fine point of deception is equally rewarding."
The two men proceeded into the crowded casino. Roulette wheels and craps tables were bustling with activity, and unhappy looking patrons were continuously playing the slot machines.
"I'd heard about a place called 'Las Vegas' from Emma, but I never actually got the chance to see much beyond Storybrooke in that world," Hook remarked as he looked over the various games. "If this is anything comparable, then truly I have been terribly deprived."
"I thought you might enjoy this. Here," Jafar said as he tossed a small purse to Hook. "These chips are your currency here. Use them to your heart's content."
"Aren't you coming along?" Hook asked.
"In a moment," Jafar replied. "I've another matter with which to attend."
Jafar stalked deeper in the crowd, leaving Hook to peruse the options. His gaze finally landed on a smaller table off to the side with only a single woman playing against the dealer. It was a game Hook was intimately familiar with.
"Excuse me, mates," Hook said as he approached the table. "Are you playing Pirate's Dice?"
The woman, who appeared human, broke out into laughter at that. "Pirate's Dice? What sort of disreputable sort do you take us for?"
Hook decided then and there that he didn't care for this woman.
"Sir, this table is Les Dés du Menteur," the dealer, a short and squat fish-like alien with a large white mustache, said in a snooty voice.
"Is Les Dés du Menteur a game of dice where you make bets based on the content of all player's hands and must uncover the deception of your opponents?" Hook asked.
"Why... yes," the dealer replied.
"That's bloody Pirate's Dice," Hook mumbled under his breath before taking a seat at the table. "Deal me in!"
"I do so hate to take the money of vagabonds," the woman said with an arrogant smirk. "Pirate's Dice, I mean really?"
Hook wanted so badly to shut this woman up right away, but people like her were practically asking to be hustled. They played the first round with one hundred credit stakes. Hook easily figured out the woman and the dealer's tells when they lied, yet he threw the match with a bad bet. The dealer won the round for the house. They played a second round with five hundred credit stakes. Hook made his lie about the dice blatantly obvious, and the woman called him out on it, winning the match.
"Really, you poor thing, you should quit while you're behind," the woman taunted. "Not everyone has the savvy or intelligence to play a game like this. Run along."
"One more game," Hook said. "Give me a chance to win back my money and then some. One thousand credit stakes."
"If you insist," the woman said. "I do enjoy adding to my already extensive wealth."
The dice were cast, and this time, Hook did not hold back. He baited his opponents with the same tone he had used when he was lying in the previous games, only this time, he knew quite well that there would be at least seven fives beneath the cups.
"Liar!" the woman called.
The table revealed their dice, and, sure enough, exactly seven fives were there on the table. Hook grinned devilishly as he collected his spoils from an utterly flabbergasted woman.
"By the way," Hook said as he left the table. "It's Pirate's Dice."
Meanwhile, Jafar made his way over to the bar area where a grey skinned bug-eyed alien dressed in silk robes was sitting drinking.
"Viceroy!" Jafar said, laying the honey in his voice on thick. "How wonderful to see you again!"
"Heh? Oh! You!" the viceroy said as he turned to face Jafar. "The Vizier of that back-water world from another galaxy."
Jafar gritted his teeth at his home world being referred to as "back-water," but he did not protest.
"I don't suppose you've reconsidered my offer," Jafar continued. "The Trade Federation's resources would be quite useful to the Overtakers, and we could certainly reach a mutually beneficial agreement."
"My grandfather Nute Gunray met his death from dabbling with the Sith, dark sorcerers not unlike yourself," the viceroy replied. "I will not be making the same mistakes. Business is good enough playing both sides of the First Order's conflict with the Resistance without engaging in foreign affairs."
"As you wish," Jafar said. "Did you acquire what I asked for?"
The viceroy snapped his fingers, and his valet produced a bubbly, teal-colored bottle of wine that had not yet been uncorked.
"I hope you appreciate a fine Toniray," the viceroy said. "It has become quite a rarity ever since the destruction of Alderaan. I went through considerable trouble to get it for you. But beware, Jafar! It packs quite a powerful punch."
"Powerful is exactly what I desire," Jafar said as he admired the bottle.
Jafar used his magic to store the bottle away in a pocket dimension of his own making and took his leave of the bar area.
"I officially loathe these people," Hook said as he and Jafar reunited.
"What's there to like?" Jafar asked. "They're unpleasant and ridiculous fools whose ambitions go no further than material wealth."
"Have you completed your business here?" Hook asked.
"That I have," Jafar nodded. "And now I do believe I owe you my full attention."
"Well a date night between the two of us would hardly be complete without a bit of mischief," Hook remarked slyly.
"What did you have in mind?" Jafar asked.
One of the most popular attractions at Canto Bight were the luxury yacht rides. The city's yachts could float on water or soar through the sky, and the typical yacht tours often involved sailing right over the waterfall and flying off over the open desert. The captain of one of the seven Canto Bight yachts was a young and attractive human woman with blonde hair worn up in a ponytail. She'd just finished her last commercial boat ride of the evening and anchored the boat at the marina. As the captain walked out onto the docks, an old man with a long white beard and crooked teeth approached her.
"My, what a beautiful young lady," the old man said as he licked his lips.
"Keep your eyes in your head, pal, I'm not interested," the captain said, avoiding eye-contact as much as possible.
"Ooh, you've got fire, I like that in a woman!" the old man said, not taking no for an answer.
The old man grabbed onto the captain's wrist. She tried to pull free, but the man's grip was stronger than she'd anticipated.
"Hey, let go! Let go of me!" the captain yelled.
"One kiss, my dear, hmm? Perhaps only as a start," the old man said with a laugh.
"Let go! HELP!" the captain cried out as she struggled against him.
"Hey, let her go, mate!" Hook said as he forcefully pulled the old man away from the captain and positioned himself between her and her would-be assailant. "I don't believe the lady is interested."
"This is none of your business, you fool!" the old man hissed angrily.
"Well I've made it my business," Hook said as he held up his hook menacingly. "Or perhaps you'd like a few of those wrinkles to become scars."
The old man huffed angrily but ultimately relented and walked away, leaving Hook and the captain alone on the docks.
"Are you alright, m'lady?" Hook asked.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay," she said as she struggled to catch her breath. "He just twisted my wrist a little bit... scared me a bit, y'know?"
"Well, you're safe now," Hook said, flashing her a compassionate smile.
The captain finally took the time to admire the handsome face of her rescuer, and already she could feel her heart fluttering. She couldn't say that she truly believed in fairy tales, but this man seemed to be a true knight in shining armor.
"Thank you, by the way," she said. "I, um, I didn't catch your name."
"Killian," he replied.
"I'm Jenny," she offered. "So what brings you out to the marina at this hour?"
"Oh, I just love the boats so much," Hook said. "I've always had a love for a fine ship. I had hoped to ride one this evening, but I fear I arrived at a poor time. None are still running."
Jenny bit her thumb in thought. She wasn't really supposed to use the yacht for personal affairs, but she knew her employers wouldn't notice if one of the ships went out for an unscheduled ride. Something in her savior's beautiful blue eyes made it hard to say no to him.
"Well, Killian, you're in luck," Jenny said. "I just so happen to be the captain of one of these fine vessels. Would you like a private ride?"
Hook smiled excitedly. "That would be wonderful!"
In no time at all, Jenny and Hook had set sail with the yacht. The deck was spacious and decorated with lavish tables and lights. Jenny put the boat on autopilot and joined Hook on the main deck with a bottle of champagne in hand.
"I figured my boss won't miss one bottle," Jenny said as she poured herself and Hook each a glass.
"To beautiful company," Hook said as he raised his glass.
Jenny clinked hers against his, and they both drank.
"Your ship is marvelous," Hook remarked. "She sails beautifully."
"Thank you. Oh! We're about to pass over the waterfall," Jenny said. "That's when she goes from sailing on water to flying. It's a pretty cool transition if you've never experienced it before."
"I'm looking forward to it," a raspy voice said with a fiendish cackle.
The old man from earlier hobbled onto the deck with a mad look in his eye.
"How did you get on my ship?" Jenny asked. "Killian, he's back!"
"So he is, love," Hook remarked as he cocked an eyebrow. "Though I should think the time for that disguise has long past."
"What?" Jenny asked.
The old man's visage melted away, and Jafar revealed himself.
"Perhaps, but I simply had to see the expression on her face," Jafar said with a laugh.
"You always have to milk the reveal, don't you?" Hook asked.
"Killian, what's going on?" Jenny asked.
"Well, it's as you said," Hook answered. "We're about to pass over the waterfall."
Jenny's eyes widened as she realized what was about to happen. Hook grabbed ahold of the captain, and though she struggled to break free, Hook managed to hurl her over the edge of the boat. Jenny screamed as she fell into the waterfall and vanished into the mist below. The yacht continued to sail on, farther and farther away from Canto Bight.
"And that is how you commandeer a vessel with naught but two people," Hook said with a sinister laugh.
"It doesn't quite have the character of the Jolly Roger," Jafar remarked as he surveyed the ship. "But it'll make a fine addition to our repertoire."
"I'll drink to that," Hook said as he chugged his entire glass of champagne.
"Oh don't drink that swill," Jafar said as he produced the bottle of Toniray. "This is a far more exquisite treat."
Hook grinned devilishly. "I thought you didn't drink."
"Special occasions deserve to be commemorated in special ways," Jafar declared.
Jafar poured himself and Hook each a glass of the teal wine. They clinked their glasses and each took a sip. The viceroy certainly had not been lying when he said that Toniray packed a powerful punch. Both men could already feel the effects of the alcohol from their first sip. Jafar glanced over the bow of the yacht at the expanse of blue tinted desert and clouds illuminated by the moonlight.
"A new fantastic point of view," Jafar mused.
Hook wrapped his arms around Jafar from behind and rested his head on Jafar's shoulders.
"No one to tell us no or where to go," Hook said.
"Or say we're only scheming," Jafar added with a laugh.
As they soared through an endless diamond sky, the two men shared a kiss to celebrate their victory. Their feelings for each other were nothing that they were accustomed to feeling, but it was nothing that either one was eager to fight. After all, pursuing new horizons and staking claims to new territories were what Jafar and Hook did best.
"A whole new world," Jafar said, "for you and me."
Fish Mooney, Ursula (in her Vanessa disguise), and Kieran approached the entrance to the Iceberg Lounge, Penguin's club in Gotham city. The bouncer, a large and burly white man, stood guard just outside. Fish attempted to stroll right into the club, but the bouncer held out a strong arm to block her path.
"Gotta check ID first," the bouncer said. "Abercrombie & Fitch over there don't look over twenty-one, and the other lady is questionable."
Fish turned her head to face the bouncer slowly, and her intense glare locked eyes with him.
"Has it been so long that this city has forgotten the importance of respect?" Fish asked. "You don't know who I am, do you?"
"Lady, this is Penguin's club," the bouncer said. "Don't matter who you are. So watch yourself. A black bitch like you don't got any reason to be so uppity."
Kieran immediately drew his knife at the bouncer's racist remark, but Fish clicked her tongue twice to tell him to stand back.
"Uppity, am I?" Fish asked. "Why don't you get Penguin out here so I can have a word with him?"
"And why don't you hit the road," the bouncer said. "I don't think you belong in this club."
"Have it your way then," Fish said as she pulled out her phone and shot off a text to Penguin. "I hope you sprung for some good life insurance."
"You threatenin' me?" the bouncer asked.
"No, baby, threats are for people who aren't prepared to act," Fish replied.
Penguin came running from around the corner. "Fish! What an unexpected surprise! So good to see you again." Penguin then turned angrily to his bouncer. "How the Hell didn't you recognize Fish Mooney, you moron?"
"Fish Mooney?" the bouncer asked, the sudden realization of what a terrible mistake he'd made dawning upon him. "Well, well, I didn't, I mean, they all look the same- I... uh, so sorry about that Fish."
"Only my friends call me Fish," she warned. "You and I ain't friends. Especially not after you called me... what was it again? Oh yes! An uppity black bitch."
Penguin's draw dropped. "Fish, I am so sorry, I will have this moron dealt with immediately!"
"No need," Fish said. "I'd prefer to deal with this punk personally."
"By all means!" Penguin said, gesturing openly to the bouncer.
Fish grabbed the bouncer by the face and allowed her mind control toxin to seep into his skin.
"First, you're going to escort us into the club," Fish ordered.
The bouncer obeyed. Fish led the bouncer onto the stage, and the band stopped playing as she did. Fish took the microphone into her hands, and the crowd went silent.
"Attention everyone," Fish said. "I am Fish Mooney. Most of you should know me, but it appears that my absence has led to a certain lack of respect. You see, I still care for Gotham dearly, but I don't believe that Gotham still cares for me. I've treated this city like my own child, and yet I encounter punk ass fools like this man who fling racist bile my way and don't even have the decency to know who they're talking to. Gotham needs a reminder that when Fish Mooney tells you to open up a vein, you do it."
On cue, the bouncer took a knife from his pocket and slit his wrists to the horror of the club patrons. Cell phone photos and videos were taken, and Fish knew that her message would get across to Gotham at once. As the bouncer started to bleed out, no one dared bother to help him.
"Now please," Fish said with a devilish smile. "Carry on."
No one in the club really wanted to return to partying, but no one had the spine to defy Fish's command after her display of power. The band resumed playing, and the crowd resumed dancing and drinking.
"I am so hot for you right now," Ursula whispered in Fish's ear as she stepped down from the stage.
Penguin had several of his flunkies move the passed out bouncer from the room, and Fish knew that Penguin had no intention of getting the man medical attention. The club seemed to pick back up in energy once the body was moved. In truth, it was never really a night out in Gotham until blood had been spilled.
"I am so sorry for that, Fish," Penguin said as he walked over to her. "Rest assured, I'll be more carefully vetting the morons and lunatics I put on my payroll. Please, accept free drinks on the house."
"How kind of you," Fish remarked. "Kieran, dear, this is the man I told you about. Years ago, he was right where you are: a young up-and-comer who shadowed me and rubbed my feet when they were tired. Now look at him: the King of Gotham."
"I've been blessed!" Penguin remarked. "Trust me, Kieran, stick with this woman. She'll do great things for you."
"Yeah, she's great," Kieran nodded.
"Anyway, Ursula and I have business elsewhere in town," Fish said. "Kieran's going to stay here for a good time. Take care of him for me."
"He's in good hands!" Penguin said with a laugh.
"Give my regards to the Riddler!" Fish said with a wave as she and Ursula took their leave of the club.
Though the building was boarded up and long since abandoned, Mooney's Nightclub had remained at least somewhat in tact. True, everything of value had long since been torn away, but the walls, ceiling, and layout all remained just as they were the last time Fish had stepped foot there. At the very least, it hadn't become a breeding ground for junkies and homeless street kids the way that so many abandoned buildings in Gotham had. The citizens of Gotham avoided it like the plague after Fish "died," fearing that the ghost of her would lurk and wreak a terrible vengeance.
"Watch your step," Fish warned as she escorted Ursula into the dining area of the club.
"I think we could use a touch of light," Ursula said.
With a flick of her wrist, an illumination spell bathed the club in light despite the fact that the electricity had long since been shut off.
"Well, it ain't much," Fish said. "But this was my little corner of the world back in the day. It was a cock-fighting arena before Butch and I got our hands on it. God, the smell was awful. Took us weeks to clean it out."
"A lot of memories here, aren't there?" Ursula asked.
"You have no idea," Fish said wistfully. "It's a shame Oswald lost it. His Iceberg Lounge is fine, don't get me wrong, but this place was something special."
"I think it can be again with a little touch of magic," Ursula remarked.
Fish smiled. "Maybe so. At any rate, you showed me your old lair back in Atlantica. I thought it only fitting that I return the gesture."
"As I recall, you and I shared our first kiss there," Ursula said. "Shall we take an encore?"
Fish didn't have to be asked twice. She and Ursula leaned in close for a kiss. Fish was used to kissing Ursula in the latter's sea-witch form. Kissing Ursula as Vanessa was almost an entirely different experience but no less pleasurable.
"Y'know what I think your club needs, Fish?" Ursula asked after they broke free.
"Fresh coat of paint? New chandelier?" Fish asked.
Ursula shook her head. "Live music!"
Ursula snapped her fingers, casting a spotlight on stage and summoning music to play from the dusty speakers.
"Oh, no, I haven't sung in years," Fish said.
"Oh c'mon, angelfish!" Ursula urged. "You know the words! There's just one teensy thing that I want that I know you want too..."
Ursula dragged Fish onto the stage into the spotlight before turning out to the imaginary audience dramatically.
"I. Want. The," Ursula began to sing. "Good times back. I want those grand ol' days."
"I want the twisted nights," Fish joined in.
"The sick delights," Ursula continued.
"The wild soirees!" Fish added.
"I want those trembling crowds of shellfish cracked," Ursula added as she summoned a terrified looking shrimp to her hand before swallowing it whole, "and peeled for me to dine!"
"Not because you're mean or selfish," Fish said with her tongue firmly planted in her cheek.
"No! I only want what's mine!" Ursula agreed.
"I want disgusting wealth!" Fish sang as she indulged fantasies of rolling in money. "I want exquisite sin!"
"Want the entire sea to worship me," Ursula continued, "on bended fin!"
"I want to greet my loving subjects," Fish sang as she did the queen-wave to her imaginary subjects.
"And then have them as a snack!" Ursula declared.
"Remember those good times?" Fish asked. "I want them back!"
"Ugh, it's the same tragic story for both of us," Ursula lamented. "You and I both were on the cusp of greatness and finally knocking those weak old men off their thrones."
"But fate didn't exactly have our best interests at heart," Fish said bitterly. "It took everything from us all because we were women with ambition."
"Oh but once we get those Gems of Cronus, we'll be back in business!" Ursula declared with a laugh.
"All together now!" Fish called out.
"We'll bring the good times back!" the two women sang together as they danced across the stage. "Resume our wacky fun! Restore the joyful charm of causing harm to everyone!"
"I want to make the merfolk cower," Ursula sang as a twisted look crept into her eyes, "like they did in days of yore."
"Sure, it's sheer abuse of power," Fish said with a shrug.
"So?" Ursula asked. "Ain't that what power's for?"
"I want to taste their tears!" Fish sang. "I want to hear their screams!"
"I want the special rush," Ursula continued. "You get from crushing-"
"Hopes and dreams!" they sang in unison.
"It's more than simply sentimental," Fish clarified.
"It's an aphrodisiac!" Ursula sang as she rubbed herself seductively on Fish. "Remember those good times?"
"Oh God, were they good times!" Fish said as she wrapped her arms around Ursula.
"It's time for more good times!" they sang together once more. "Let's get 'em back!"
The spotlight went out as they pulled each other into another embrace. Nostalgia was certainly one thing, but Fish and Ursula had much more in mind than reliving old memories. After all, what were good times if not a model for the future?
Loki sighed loudly and dramatically as he and Doom made their way through the bowels of Fate Mountain.
"All of our compatriots are enjoying an evening of frivolity," Loki complained. "Yet you drag me to the lair of the Norns."
"The lair of the Fates," Doom corrected.
"They're the same thing," Loki insisted. "Those three old crones have been working both mythologies for eons. Everyone knows about it."
"Regardless, you did not have to come," Doom said.
"And do what instead?" Loki asked. "Remain back at the castle bored out of my skull whilst my lesser half embarked upon a fool's errand alone? No, my presence here was inevitable the moment you refused to take me to the Orlesian Opera."
"Then do stop complaining and focus on the task at hand," Doom insisted. "The Fates will not relent their power easily, and I need you sharp."
"Has it not yet occurred to you that we haven't encountered this mountain's guardian at all?" Loki asked.
"I do not fear Arachne," Doom replied with a scoff. "I could destroy her with a gesture."
"My point exactly," Loki said. "The Fates know that their guardian would stand little chance against us, and if Arachne is not here, that means the Fates know we're coming."
"We do tend to know everything," Lachesis said as she and her two sisters, Clotho and Atropos, made their presence known.
"Ooooh, the strapping God of Mischief enters our parlor," Atropos, the current bearer of the Fates' single shared eye, said as she looked over her guests. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes!"
Clotho ripped the eye from Atropos's socket and placed it in her own. "Or sore EYE as the case might be!"
"We told Hades in no uncertain terms that we would NOT help you Overtakers find the Gems of Cronus," Lachesis said firmly as her sisters fought over the eye.
"I fear you are quite mistaken," Doom said. "I am not here to ask for your help."
"We know!" the three Fates shrieked in harmony.
"Then it is time to determine that which men should fear most," Doom said as he flounced his cape. "Their fate, or their DOOM!"
Doom fired a blast of energy at Clotho that threw the Fate backwards, knocking the mystic eye from her socket. Clotho attempted to crawl to retrieve it, but Loki scooped it up before she could. With a deft motion, Lachesis measured out Doom's thread of life, and Atropos went to sever it with her scissors. However, when the old crone clipped the thread, she found that it would not cut.
"Why does this keep happening to us?" Atropos asked angrily.
"Imshael's wretched immortality gift, remember?" Clotho grumbled as she got to her feet.
"Imshael?" Loki asked.
"Oh, that's right!" Lachesis said, practically giddy with schadenfreude. "Dear Victor never told you the truth about his immortality, did he?"
"Do not indulge their manipulations," Doom bellowed. "Give me the eye so I can begin my spell!"
Loki ignored Doom and turned his attention towards the Fates. "Tell me everything, and you might just get your eye back."
"He went and got himself killed," Clotho said.
"Cut his thread of life myself!" Atropos added. "Yes, you were right all along about him mixing magics."
"And then the Old One Imshael, who took a shine to you boys, revived him and granted him the immortality he sought," Lachesis claimed.
"These crones speak naught but lies!" Doom growled angrily.
"I'm the God of Lies, remember?" Loki said. "I know quite well that they speak only the truth."
"How I acquired my immortality is of no consequence to this endeavor," Doom said. "Give me the eye, and we can discuss this later. Let me take their power!"
"You couldn't even handle the power of an apple," Loki said with a sneer.
Loki lightly tossed the eye back to Atropos, who then proceeded to have it taken from her by Lachesis.
"You dare?" Doom growled.
"You may do as you wish, Victor," Loki remarked with a dismissive gesture. "But I'll not help you find new ways to destroy yourself."
Loki huffed and vanished into a Corridor of Darkness. The Fates cackled gleefully at the show.
"It seems the fate of your relationship is at stake," Clotho teased.
"You did this!" Doom accused.
"Of course we did," Lachesis said with a laugh. "We're the Fates!"
Doom growled but summoned up his own Corridor of Darkness to depart the mountain. The Fates had known exactly the thread to pull to unravel his and Loki's synchrony, and they'd established the perfect ace up their sleeves before he'd ever even considered attacking them. In a way, he had to admit himself impressed by how well they'd woven those circumstances together.
Doom found Loki in the dining hall of the Eminence Palace, having his wine glass being refilled again by the sole Cauldron Born servant left on the Overtakers' staff.
"Leave us," Doom ordered.
The Cauldron Born put his hands on his hips and cocked his head as if judging Doom.
"It's quite alright, Claude," Loki said. "This is indeed a private matter."
The skeletal servant bowed and took his leave.
"Tenacious slave, isn't he?" Doom remarked.
"No powers of fate, I see," Loki remarked as he took a sip of wine. "More's the pity."
"Perhaps it was an ill-advised desire," Doom said.
"Only perhaps?" Loki asked with a smirk. "I see your usual certainty has no place in humbling yourself."
"You are one to talk, trickster," Doom sneered.
"True, but I was not the one who indebted his soul to a dashing desire demon," Loki pointed out.
"I believe he prefers to be called a choice spirit," Doom corrected. "But you speak as though I pursued carnal interests with the foul demon. I did not."
"Imshael does nothing without reason," Loki said. "There are strings attached to your gift, even if he might suggest otherwise."
"You speak as though I hadn't considered that very same factor," Doom said.
"Well, have you?" Loki asked. "You were granted immortality by Imshael, then you galivanted off to take the power of the Fates. How could you have possibly been certain that you weren't delivering power over fate itself to Imshael?"
"It was... a lapse in judgment," Doom remarked. "I thought to use the power of fate to protect myself from him."
"You should have told me," Loki said with a sneer.
"Yes, I should have," Doom admitted.
"We could have figured out a solution together," Loki said. "After all, who do you know that's better at navigating nuances and subtleties than I?"
"No one," Doom admitted. "And moving forward, I would welcome your collaboration, if you'll agree to do so."
"Hmmm, perhaps... if I had incentive," Loki answered.
"Unfortunately, I could not secure tickets to the Orlesian Opera, having shown up just in time to see the booth close in my face," Doom said. "However, I did find another production you might enjoy. The Paris Opéra House of another world is putting on a rather well-received production of Hannibal. The Opéra's new soprano, Christine Daaé, is said to have the most exquisite voice. Rumor has it that she's been visited by the angel of music. Would you do me the honor of accompanying me?"
"Do we have our own private booth?" Loki asked.
"Of course!" Doom said. "Doom would never force you to sit among the common throng."
Loki grinned. "Very well, if it'll make you feel better, I might as well attend."
And so Doom and Loki had a proper date night after all.