Hey guys... once again not a very long chapter, but I still can't focus on writing as much as I'd like to. I still hope you like the new chapter :-) Thank you for all your lovely reviews!

Chapter 35

She felt like the blood in her veins had frozen. She couldn't breathe and the world around her seemed to be spinning. Jay was at the hospital, and she didn't know what had happened to him. But the fact that he hadn't called her himself couldn't be a good sign. He would have called her if he was conscious, right?

"Excuse me, Miss… are you alright?"

The voice next to her caused her to jump and she turned her head to the man next to her, staring at him like he was an alien. "I'm okay", she answered after a few seconds, her voice sounding strange to herself. She let go of the shopping cart and asked: "Could you take care of this for me, please?" Without waiting for his reaction, she turned around and hurried to her car.

"Miss… are you sure you don't need help? You look really pale!"

She heard the man's worried voice, but it seemed to come from far away. She needed to get to Med, as fast as possible. She needed to get to Jay. She needed him to be alive, to still be there for her and Gracie. She couldn't do this without him!

She didn't know how she had driven off the parking lot of the grocery store. She just drove, like she was on autopilot. And her autopilot worked well… until she almost ran a red light that she hadn't seen in advance due to the tears streaming out of her eyes. Hitting the brakes just in time before she might have caused a major accident in the middle of the intersection, she felt her heart rate go up to probably 200 beats per minute.

Her current condition didn't seem to go unnoticed by her daughter, whose movements felt more active than they ever had before. And that was what snapped her back into reality. Gasping for air, she brought a shaking hand to her baby bump. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, sweetie! I didn't mean to scare you. It's just… I'm really worried about your Daddy right now…" She let out a sob while circling her belly soothingly. She had risked her daughter's health and maybe even her life by driving so recklessly. If she wasn't even able to keep her baby girl safe now, how could she ever raise her properly if something happened to Jay?

The wild honking behind her reminded her of the fact that she was still standing at a red light that had turned green at some point, causing her to block the intersection. Her whole body still shaking, she raised her hand to say sorry and drove off, a lot more carefully this time. She tried to take deep breaths and pay attention to the road while one of her hands was glued to her belly where her daughter seemed to slowly calm down a little.

The minutes it took her to get to Med felt like hours. The love of her life, the father of her unborn baby was possibly fighting for his life at the moment, and that was already more than she could bear right now. The thought that he might already have lost that fight was too cruel to actually settle in her mind. When she finally reached the hospital, she struggled to park her car before jumping out of it and rushing to the emergency entrance, hoping to find anybody who could give her information about Jay.

"Natalie!", she exclaimed, glad to see a familiar face. "Where's Jay? Please tell me he's… going to be… okay! Please! I can't… do this without… him! We need him!" Sobbing and hyperventilating at the same time, she grabbed the doctor's shoulders while begging her for the answers she needed so desperately.

The brunette woman furrowed her eyebrows, placing her hands on Erin's arms. "Wow, Erin… calm down! Please, the baby and I need you to calm down! What are you even talking about?"

"Jay…", she gasped. "I… I got a call that… Jay is here… but my phone… my phone died and I… I don't know… what happened!" Her whole body was shivering and she knew her legs wouldn't keep her upright for much longer.

Natalie gently led her to a seat, fearing that Erin would collapse otherwise. "Okay, Erin, please relax. I didn't even know Jay was admitted, so I'm sure it can't be that bad." She waved for a nurse to join them and try to calm down the pregnant detective. "Erin, look at me! Please try to breath slowly! Your baby needs you to relax! You stay here with Kelsey and I'm gonna take a look at the system to find out where Jay is at the moment, okay?" She took one of Erin's hand and placed it on her baby bump.

Rubbing her belly in slow circles, feeling her daughter dance or play soccer or whatever else, she managed to nod. "O… okay…" Still not knowing what had happened to her husband and not being able to do anything almost drove her crazy, but reminding her of the little human being she was responsible for had helped just enough to convince her to stay seated.

Just as Natalie had slipped behind the counter, a big double door opened, revealing her best friend. She jumped up to rush towards her – only to tumble back into her seat when a second person appeared behind Kim. Jay… he was there… his shirt seemed to have some blood stains, but he was walking on his own two feet. She blinked a couple of times to make sure that she wasn't just imagining something she so desperately wanted to see, but he was still there, smiling at her.

"Jay!", she shouted in a high-pitched voice, now getting off her seat again and running towards him, jumping into his arms, too relieved that he was alive to think about whether he might be injured. Holding onto him for dear life, she sobbed into his chest, her body shaking violently.

Shocked to see his wife in tears and obviously completely beside herself, he wrapped his arms around her and stroked over her back soothingly. "Baby… Baby! What's wrong? Did something happen to the baby?" His heart wrenched at the thought, but he couldn't think of anything else that might explain her breakdown.

Still sobbing heavily, she tried to shake her head no. "No… you! I… I thought you… you… you were severely injured… or maybe… going to…" She choked out the last word as a mere whisper: "…die…"

Completely confused, he cupped her face with his hand to make her look at him, the worry in his eyes almost matching hers. "But Baby… why? Why would you think that? I'm fine, I just have a cut on the back of my head that needed a few stiches and maybe a mild concussion…" Suddenly he thought of something else. "Baby… what are you even doing here?"

"I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry!", Kim exclaimed next to them. "I… I didn't mean to… I just wanted to ask Erin to come here and pick us up… but apparently the connection got cut off… and then I couldn't reach her anymore… I had hoped that she had heard enough of what I had said, but… apparently not…" She was also crying by now, her eyes pleading Jay and Erin to forgive her.

Seeing his wife in the state she was in right now broke his heart. And now it seemed like someone was actually responsible for her being so distraught. Not letting go of Erin, he looked at his younger colleague, his eyes shooting daggers at her. "You called Erin to tell her we had an accident? Are you out of your mind? What would you think if someone called you to inform you that Adam is at the hospital, and he didn't call you himself?" Taking a deep breath, he continued: "Erin's pregnant! She could have gotten herself hurt… or the baby…"

Even though Erin was still trembling with worry, she knew her best friend had had nothing but good intentions in mind when calling her. Trying to control her breath, she brought her palm to her husband's cheek. "Shhh… it's okay, Baby… it's not her fault that I forgot to charge my phone and it died when she called me." She gave her dark-haired colleague a reassuring look. "Really, Kim… it's not your fault."

Wiping away her tears, Kim shook her head. "No… Jay is right. I mean, yeah, it's not my fault that your phone died, but I should have waited until he could have called you himself. Then you would have known right away that he's fine." She let out a sob before whispering again: "I'm so incredibly sorry. I wouldn't have forgiven myself if something hat happened to you or the little princess."

Erin nodded slightly, letting her know with her eyes that she wasn't mad at her before turning back to her husband and burying her face in his chest again. "I… I was so scared… I was so fucking scared that we could lose you. I… I can't ever lose you, Baby. I couldn't do this without you…" She took one of his hands and brought it to her belly.

Swallowing hard, he felt tears well up in his eyes. "That's not true, Baby. You could do this without me. I know you could. You would still be the best mother on this planet." Kissing her softly, he whispered: "I would never have suggested we have kids if I didn't know you could raise them without me if something ever happened to me." He brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "Which doesn't mean I won't do everything in my power to never leave you alone."

Tears fell down her cheeks once again at his words and she shook her head. "I need you. Our daughter needs you. I… I'm not able to protect her all by myself." Taking a deep breath and biting her lower lip, she continued: "I… I almost failed at protecting her already… when… when…" Her husband's eyes going wide and his mouth falling open suddenly cut her off.

Pressing his hand against her belly, he stammered: "Oh… oh my God, is that… is that… her?" He wasn't sure if he just imagined it, but it had felt like something had popped softly against his palm.

Staring at him, she covered his hand with hers, her heart almost jumping out of her chest. "You… you can… feel her?" Her crying grew heavier, but changed from shock and fear to happiness within a split of a second. "Can you really feel her?"

His own eyes quickly filled with tears when he felt the incredibly soft thump again. Nodding slightly, his mouth still open in complete awe, he wrapped his free arm around her again. "Yeah… I think I can feel her. I can feel our daughter." Burying his face in her soft hair, he wasn't able to hold back a sob as he whispered: "I don't think I've ever felt anything more amazing."

Letting out a strange sound that was somewhere between laughing and crying, she answered: "I know exactly what you mean. That's what I thought when I first felt her move." She cuddled into him, enjoying the happy and peaceful moment for a bit until she remembered what she had been about to say when he had interrupted her. Biting her lip, she said: "I… I need to ask Natalie to do an ultrasound to make sure everything's okay."

Furrowing his eyebrows, he pulled away just enough to meet her eyes. "Why shouldn't everything be okay? Are you in pain or anything?" Worry filled his heart once again, his hand softly stroking her belly.

Trying to hold back her tears, she shook her head. "No… it's just that… when I got the call… I rushed off with the car a little too fast and… I had to hit the brakes really hard at a red light." She lowered her eyes shamefully. "I'm so scared that I hurt her."

His heart contracted painfully, not so much because he was worried about their daughter's health – as far as he could tell, she seemed to be fine – but because he could see his wife was blaming herself for what had happened. "Shhh… Baby, I'm sure she's fine. But we can of course ask Natalie if she could do an ultrasound." He looked around and waved when he saw the brunette doctor. "Nat… could you do us a favor? Could you maybe do a quick ultrasound to make sure the baby's fine? Erin's a little worried."

She was relieved when Natalie agreed and asked them to take a seat so she could look for a free examination room that had an ultrasound. As soon as they were seated, she snuggled up to her husband, only to pull away again when she remembered something: "Oh my God, Baby, I'm so sorry! I didn't even ask you how you feel! Are you alright? Are you hurting? And what happened in the first place?"

Caressing her cheek gently, he placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I'm okay, baby. No broken bones or anything, and the pain in my head isn't too bad. We were chasing a couple of suspects and one of them crashed into our car intentionally. We got the guys though, and the others are dealing with them at the district right now. That's why we needed a ride."

Reaching up and behind him, she caressed the back of his head as carefully as she possibly could. "I'm so sorry, Baby!" Suddenly she thought of her best friend, looking up in search of her. "Kim! Are you okay? Do you have any injuries?", she asked worriedly.

The dark-haired cop shook her head. "No, I'm fine. They just insisted I come here to let the doctors check on me because I was in the car." Just as Erin wanted to tell her how relieved she was that her friend was fine, Natalie came to pick them up for the ultrasound.

Her heart beat up to her throat when she pulled her shirt up and waited for the examination to start. Natalie placed the ultrasound wand on her belly and looked at the screen, quickly beginning to smile. "There she is… and everything seems perfectly okay." When she pushed a button on the ultrasound machine, the relieve Erin felt when she heard the familiar thumping of Gracie's heart was beyond words and her eyes filled with tears again. "Thank you… I'm so glad I didn't hurt her."

Jay squeezed her hand tightly while Natalie explained: "Luckily, she's protected really well in there. Especially the amniotic fluid protects babies from shocks like sudden movements." After looking at the baby from a few more angles, she put away the wand and gave Erin a paper towel. "No need to worry at the moment. In the unlikely case that you feel any abdominal pain, please contact your gynecologist, okay?"

She nodded. "I will, I promise. And I'll try to take better care of her. Thanks so much again, Natalie!" After she had wiped the gel of her belly and adjusted her shirt, she wrapped her arms around her husband and pressed her face against his chest again. "I'm so glad the two most important human beings in my life are okay. I just want to go home now… and cuddle on the couch for the next couple of days."

Holding her tightly, he nodded. "We'll just take Kim home and then we'll do just that." He softly kissed her head and caressed the back of her neck. "I love you, Baby. I love you and our little princess so much."

Lifting her head to meet his crystal blue eyes with her glossy hazel ones, she swallowed down the lump in her throat: "We love you, too. And we need you! Always!"