Behind the Silk Screen

by eien-no-basho

When a twist of fate brings the common-born priestess Kagome to serve Inuyasha, Divine Emperor of Japan, will she be able to help him claim his place on the throne and bring order to their country? Or will court intrigues and their own burgeoning feelings tear the two and their nation apart? A historical romance set in Japan's Heian Era.

35. Of Silence and Servants

"No."

The choked sound escaped her without thought or consent, forced out by the panic that was rising like bile to fill her throat.

Surely she had misheard. Surely he had misheard. Or perhaps this was just another one of those dreams, those absurd nightly flights of fantasy in which her mind occasionally allowed her to indulge in the impossible.

But the light was too bright and the world around her too sharp. In her dreams there was never the hushed murmur of a breeze skimming the surface of a pond or the sharp scent of grass being crushed under foot. There was never the pale, stricken look that she now saw reflected on Inuyasha's face.

"...Kagome-"

She shook her head, hoping the motion might quiet the clamor of her thoughts or wake her from whatever strange dream she had fallen into. She could feel Inuyasha's arms slackening around her, slowly falling away. Before releasing her completely, though, he stilled, hands clutching at her arms with a force that almost made her wince.

"Kagome, wait, alright? Just listen for a-"

"Listen to what?" she snapped, the words spilling out much more sharply than she had intended. "This is insanity, Inuyasha, as we both well know. The court would never, could never, accept it! They would think me a snake, and you a fool! It would ruin everything we have-!"

"They're already accepting it, Kagome!" Inuyasha snapped, eyes flashing as his ire rose to meet her own. "The appointees came to me, they told me that they want it to be you! It has to be you-!"

"Stop it!" she said, a trembling beginning to spread through her limbs that she was powerless to stop. "Just stop! The appointees are not the court, and however well they might mean you must know that this cannot work!"

His hands fell away from her. She watched as they clenched at his sides, felt the knot in her stomach tighten to match.

"Why?" he ground out, a low sound that rumbled like the first roll of thunder just before a storm. "Why are you willing to fight for everything damn thing but this? Why won't you even fucking consider that we could-that it could...Do you really not want-?"

The rest of the words lodged in his throat, trapped there, but still the unspoken question hung heavy between them. Did she really not want this?

She clenched her teeth so hard she could feel her jaw creak with the force of it. It was the only thing that she could think to do to lessen the trembling, to hold back the slew of words that threatened to spill forth if given even the slightest chance.

Because of course she wanted this. She wanted it so badly that she had been forced to bury it, to bind it in the knowledge of its impossibility and push it down so deeply that she scarcely thought of it anymore. She wanted it so badly that it lived at the core of her now, as natural and essential and instinctive as the beating of her own heart.

But now it felt as though her heart had stopped.

"I can't," she managed at last. "I won't."

Because it would destroy her, she knew. If she allowed herself to hope and it fell apart, there would be no coming back from that. And worse, what would become of him?

He said nothing and she could not bring herself to lift her gaze to his face. Instead she watched his feet, watched the halting half-step they took towards her. Watched the stumbling steps they took away from her. Watched them disappear down the hillock and beyond her line of sight. Watched the grass where they had been.

She pressed a hand to her chest, feeling the hammering of her heart against her ribcage. Still it was there, it was buried and safe, she had protected it and protected them both.

Even so she could not help but feel that perhaps this was the most awful thing that she had ever done.

---

The burning of the scale against the flesh of her chest was a blessed relief.

Kagome had been laying in her futon for what felt like an eternity, tossing and wriggling in the vain hope that she might find some magical position comfortable enough to at last lull her to sleep. Sleep was nowhere to be found, though, and she was beginning to fear that she might never sleep well again.

All the while her thoughts churned sluggishly through her, dark as muddied waters overflowing the banks of her mind. She felt as if she might drown in them, tugged down and pulled under and twisted about by their unyielding current. She felt unspeakably heavy, grief at the loss of something she had never even truly had. Perhaps that was the worst of it.

The warming of the ningyō scale against her chest managed to rouse her from that miserable haze, a distraction so welcome she nearly cried out in relief. Thankfully she still had at least the presence of mind to stifle herself to avoid waking the woman acting as her handmaiden that night. A quick glance told her that the woman was still fast asleep, her expression so relaxed in slumber that Kagome felt a sharp pang of envy dart through her.

Shaking her head, she rose and crept on silent feet toward the shoji that led out into the small garden area of her residence. She paused before slipping out, grabbing the red karaginu that had been hung over a folding screen and draping it across her shoulders to ward off some of the chill of the evening.

Stepping out onto the wooden walkway and sliding the shoji carefully closed behind her, Kagome paused.

She should call Inuyasha, she knew. He deserved as much as she did to know the outcome of their efforts with the ningyō, deserved to be involved in whatever decisions needed to be made should it turn out that ningyō could not aid them. She ought to call him.

The thought alone made her feel as if she might be ill. If she called him and he came, how would he look at her? Would he look at her? Or, perhaps worst of all, what if she called and he did not come?

Kagome shook her head, a chill deeper than that of the night air sliding across her skin. No. The time would come soon enough when she would be forced to face him, but for now she simply did not have the strength for it. She would do this on her own.

She turned on her heel, stepping down off of the walkway and suppressing a shudder at the feel of the cool earth of the garden beneath her bare feet. Perhaps footwear would have served her well, but she had not wanted to further risk waking the handmaiden that slept just on the other side of the screen from her. She could bear with this much.

The light of the waning moon was enough to illuminate the winding path to the small pond nestled in the southernmost corner of the gardens. It was not nearly so grand as the water walkway that led to Inuyasha's chambers, but Kagome supposed that just about any body of water should suffice. Crouching down before it, she hesitated.

Something was off.

Youki prickled along her spiritual sense like the promise of lightning in the air. She could feel the hairs rise all along her arms, her body tensing with sudden awareness.

How long had it been there? How had she become so distracted that she had failed to notice it? Why had she not had the forethought to bring her bow?

But there was nothing for it now. She drew a deep breath, slowly drawing her power up into her chest.

"Now, now. No need for all of that, is there? We are allies after all, are we not?"

Kagome released a breath, some of the tension going out of her. She felt the youki draw close, alighting with preternatural ease just behind her.

"Kagura-sama," she murmured, more to reassure herself than anything. "Please, tell me what kind of alliance it is in which one sneaks up on the other in the dark of night?"

"The same alliance in which one deems sneaking under the cover of night necessary," Kagura replied archly.

Kagome bit her lip, choking back a response that she knew would have been unkind at best. She rose, turning to face the other woman.

"You were keeping a watch on me," she said, more statement than question.

Kagura shrugged, clearly unperturbed.

"You are just so interesting to watch," she said.

Kagome frowned, her irritation already simmering just beneath the skin and thus easy to provoke.

"That is not an answer and you know it, Kagura-sama."

Kagura quirked one dark brow, her expression sobering somewhat.

"You are upset," she said.

Kagome fought to keep from flinching, the unusually straightforward observance hitting too close for comfort.

"I'm tired," she said, more sharply than she should have. "It's late. It hardly excuses you lurking outside of my chambers."

Kagura's frown deepened fractionally, though her gaze remained level.

"I've made no secret of my aims," she said. "That you are always surprised at my efforts to fulfill them seems to speak more to your faults than to my own."

This time Kagome did flinch, stung by both the words and the straightforward manner in which they were put forth. It was true enough, though the idea of Kagura keeping a watch over her still did not sit well.

Or perhaps she was simply angry because it was easier to be angry than to be...empty. At least angry felt warm.

"Fine," she forced out at last. "Do as you will."

She turned back to the pond, crouching down once more. Just as she reached out to release the scale onto the surface of the water Kagura spoke again.

"What of your companion?" she said. "I assume that all this creeping about under the cover of night means that the ningyō have come to a decision. I would have thought that he might wish to be here to receive their response."

The words were spoken lightly enough, but Kagome could feel a pointed interest lurking just beneath them that made her tense almost as much as the question itself. Leave it to Kagura to find a wound and waste no time in prodding at it. Kagome forced herself to relax and draw a breath before responding.

"His Majesty has a number of matters to attend to," she said, hoping that the words did not sound as hollow as they felt. "As the ningyō's debt is to me, he thought it well enough that I should finish the dealings with them and report back to him."

There was a long beat of silence behind her.

"Hmmm," Kagura said at last. "How very prudent of him."

Kagome frowned, keeping her face carefully averted. She doubted that Kagura would take her at her word, but she could at least keep from giving her anything solid.

When it became clear that no further comment was forthcoming, Kagome shifted her attention once more back to the pond. Reaching out, she opened her hand and allowed the scale resting in her palm to drift slowly down into the water.

She was relieved to see the gold ripples spread out across the surface of the pond, the scale's power working just as it had the last time. Slowly that familiar dark head emerged from the center, liquid eyes solemn as they met hers.

"Chōseki-sama," Kagome said, bowing her head in acknowledgement.

Chōseki bowed her head faintly in return.

"Miko," she said. "My kin and I have come to a decision."

Kagome felt the knot in her stomach tighten. Chōseki hardly seemed someone who was inclined to waste her time with unnecessary words, but still she found herself slightly startled by the abruptness of her manner.

Kagome forced herself to nod, mentally bracing for whatever answer might come.

"We have decided that we are willing to grant you the boon you have asked of us."

Kagome felt some of the breath go out of her in a whoosh, a part of that painful knot in her stomach easing suddenly. A small laugh escaped her, part joy and part relief.

"Truly?" she said. "Thank you! Thank you so much, Chōseki-sama. I owe you and your kin a debt for this-"

"You forget that the debt is ours," Chōseki said, not unkindly. "And with this it will be paid. And I am glad if I can be of service to you."

Her expression was still largely as impassive as it ever was, but there was a faint upward lift to one corner of her mouth that told Kagome that she was in earnest in this. The small quirk spoke volumes, and somehow Kagome got the sudden impression that this victory might have been largely due to Chōseki's efforts on her behalf. She bowed her head, her gratitude beyond words.

"When would you have us begin?" Chōseki said.

Lifting her head, Kagome hesitated. This was exactly the sort of decision that Inuyasha should have been here to consult on.

But she could feel Kagura's eyes on her back, sharp and searching. She had told the youkai woman that she came alone with Inuyasha's permission. To fail to answer now would be to all but tell her that she had lied.

"As soon as possible," she found herself saying, the words spilling out in a jumbled rush. "The sooner we move the greater our chances of slowing their advance before they can reach our shores."

Chōseki nodded, though a moment of hesitation beforehand said that perhaps she had noticed something strange in Kagome's manner. Silently Kagome was grateful that some small piece of her mind had remained logical despite her, though she did not dare turn to see if she had managed to convince Kagura.

"I will gather my clan to discuss the best way to proceed, then," Chōseki said. "Likely it should be no more than a day or so until we are ready to begin. I will return the scale to you, as well. It will be the easiest means of summoning you when the time comes to report back."

The fine, translucent webbing between her fingers shimmered in the faint light of the moon as her hand emerged from the pool, the scale in the center of her palm. Kagome reached out to take it from her, pressing the tips of her fingers to the damp, inhumanly smooth skin of the other woman's palm gently.

"Please be safe, Chōseki-sama," she said lowly. "You and your clan."

Chōseki inclined her head slightly, her dark eyes shifting momentarily to something beyond Kagome. The faintest of frowns edged her lips when her gaze shifted back.

"You, as well, Kagome-sama," she said. "Until we can meet again."

And then she was gone, no more than ripples on the face of the pond left to say that she had been there at all. Tucking the scale away into the front of her robes, Kagome rose and winced faintly at the way her legs protested the move.

"A successful meeting. Surely his Majesty will be glad to hear it. Shall I accompany you to his chambers?"

Kagome fought back another wince. She had almost been able to forget Kagura's presence for a moment there.

"I see no reason to disturb his Majesty at this late hour," she said, brushing some dirt from the knees of her yukata to keep from having to meet the other woman's probing gaze. "I will be sure to inform him first thing in the morning."

Kagura did not respond beyond a soft 'hmmmm', the sound betraying nothing of her thoughts. Kagome chanced a glance up at her and was caught immediately by her gaze. The look there was not what she had expected to see, something almost like pity hooding her gaze as even as it rested unwaveringly upon her.

"I have heard murmurings among the women," she said lowly.

"...And what murmurings would those be?" Kagome forced out, feeling her shoulders go rigid.

Of course Kagura would be aware of what had happened. She was among the women constantly and too sharp by far to miss something as big as that.

"I will allow that you have a number of talents, but you must know that lying is not among them," Kagura said drily. "You are well aware of what I speak."

Kagome bit her lip, at a loss for anything to say to that.

"Listen," Kagura said after her silence had stretched on for a beat too long. "I did not come here to torment you with what I know or what I suspect. I only came with a warning. Naraku's greatest skill has always been in his ability to manipulate others. He...sees things in others that they often cannot see in themselves, and he uses those things without hesitation. And if the pair of you were to crumble now you would be playing right into his hands."

A chill stole over Kagome at the words, seeping down into her very bones. She felt as if she could not draw enough breath.

"Is that why you're watching me, then?" she said, the words barely a whisper as they left her. "To see if I will crumble?"

A faint frown tugged at the corners of Kagura's lips, but her gaze did not waver.

"It is," she said. "For the moment the pair of you are the best chance I have at freeing myself from him. If you fall into this trap now, then I would be forced to start all over again."

"And what would you have me do then?" Kagome snapped, anger boiling suddenly to the surface at the show of undisguised self-interest. "How can I best be of service to you, as that is obviously all that you care for?"

Kagura's brows lifted faintly, her lips thinning in the sort of look one might give a petulant child.

"I would have you pull yourself together," she said lowly. "I would have you do as you have done until now: push through it. Take him by surprise. Refuse to bow your head when there is no reason to bow it."

"It's not that simple and you know it."

"I know it. Certainly I know it well enough. However, I also know that you are stronger than you are allowing yourself to think you are and that every bit of that strength will be needed to move us forward. So, as I said, pull yourself together."

Kagura did not flinch at her scowl, did not even blink at the tears that pricked at the corners of her eyes. She was unyielding, a stark contrast to the quaking of Kagome's limbs.

But she didn't understand. She couldn't.

"I need to go," Kagome said at last, the words leaving her in a rasp as she swallowed back the feeling. "My handmaiden will notice my absence if I am out too long."

"Well, then, I will not keep you," Kagura said after a beat. "You will need your rest, after all. Good night."

And with one final dark look, she was gone in a rush of wind.

In a haze, Kagome wandered back to her chambers. She managed to slip out of the karaginu she had donned and back into her futon without incident, checking briefly to assure herself that her handmaiden still slept soundly on the other side of the folding screen.

As soon as her head touched the pillow, though, the torrent of her thoughts came rushing back so forcefully that for a moment she could not catch her breath. There was Chōseki and Kagura and the ships and the appointees and the position of Empress and Inuyasha, Inuyasha, Inuyasha. Over and over she saw his face, saw the hurt there that she had caused when he had simply been trying to do what he thought to be the right thing by her. Saw herself, shrinking back, too scared to even explain herself properly to him.

Eventually the torrent dragged her under, pulled her overwrought mind down into the depths of an uneasy sleep, but not before she had time to wonder how in the world she was ever going to begin to fix this.

---

There were a multitude of places that Kagome should have been, a litany of things that she should have been doing, but somehow she could not bring herself to be any of those places or to do any of those things. Instead she had dismissed her handmaiden as soon as the woman had finished her duties of helping her to dress for the morning, asking that she make her excuses to the other women as she would not be able to join them for the morning meal.

Once the handmaiden had departed Kagome had scrawled a quick note to Inuyasha, informing him in the most reticent of terms of her meeting the previous night with Chōseki and the results of it. After handing the note off to a servant to deliver, she had fairly fled the Dairi.

It was cowardly, she knew. She was quite literally running away from her problems. But she was exhausted and just the thought of having to face a response from him, whatever form it might come in, was enough to make her feel ill. If she could only get some space, some air, some time then perhaps she might feel more equal to what must come. Perhaps.

Without too much thought she had decided on the Chūwain as her destination. If peace was anywhere to be found, it seemed that her best chance of it would be there. Besides which it had been some time since she had been able to visit with Midoriko and she usually found the older woman to be a calming presence.

The streets of the court were already bustling with people, the gentle sunlight and cool breeze of the spring morning drawing people out in droves. Kagome felt their eyes upon her as she passed, heard the abrupt silences that met her appearance and the whispers that trailed in her wake like ripples across the surface of still waters. More than once she heard the echoes of the word 'Empress' around her and had to fight to keep from stumbling, the word a sharp prod at a wound that was still far too fresh.

Thankfully she managed to keep her composure for the most part, though she was certain that her face must be at least three shades paler than when she had begun and she could feel the sting in her palms where her nails had bit so deep that she was sure there would be marks left. She had reached the Chūwain, though, and once she began her rituals it was unlikely that anyone should try to disturb her.

There was a soothing quality to the purification rituals, a familiarity and certainty that somewhat eased her frayed nerves. By the time she passed beneath the tori she was feeling something like herself once more.

Her steps took her instinctively to the statue of Amaterasu, a few disciples of the temple passing and bowing to her on the way but otherwise leaving her to her own meditations. She was grateful for their discretion, settling down before the statue with a relieved sigh.

Gazing up into that serene stone face, though, any words or prayers she might have thought to offer caught in her throat, trapped there beneath an abrupt rush of tears. The face above her warped, the haze of tears that filled her eyes blurring and bending it.

The feeling was so strong, so sudden, that it was hard to catch her breath against it. She pressed her hand to her mouth, trying desperately to stifle a sob, but it was unrelenting, demanding. She bent forward, nearly doubled over as tears overwhelmed her, streaking hotly down her cheeks to darken the dirt beneath her.

"I'm sorry," she gasped, knowing full well that the person she spoke to would never hear her. "I'm so offered it to me, you offered it up and I-I-I p-pushed it away with b-both hands. I...I just can't. I c-can't d-drag you down like that. I can't-I'm not strong enough to-"

A pair of arms, warm and solid, looped her shoulders, halting the flood of her words.

"Child, child," a voice murmured beside her ear. "Shhhh, shhhhh. You're alright, you're alright. Take a breath with me, will you? A deep breath, like this."

She heard the other woman draw a deep breath, hold it. After several stuttering attempts she was able to match her, holding the breath in for several beats before releasing it in a shaky gasp. Slowly she came back to herself, to the feel of dirt beneath her palms and the trembling in her limbs. To the feeling of shame beginning to crawl hotly up the back of her neck.

Sensing her discomfort, the other woman pulled back to allow her some space. Slowly, reluctantly, Kagome raised herself enough to meet Midoriko's gentle gaze.

She supposed of all of the people she could have been caught by in this situation Midoriko was possibly the best she could have hoped for. Still Kagome ducked her head, swiping at the mess that must surely be her face with one of her sleeves to cover over the fact that she could barely meet Midoriko's gaze.

Midoriko said nothing, though Kagome could feel the concern in her gaze as she watched her. Kagome bit her lip, realizing as the silence dragged on that the older woman was content to wait for her to be ready to speak. But what was there to be said?

"I'm sorry," was what she settled on at last, trying not to wince at how hoarse and small the words sounded.

"So you have said," Midoriko returned softly, her gaze unwavering on Kagome's face. "But somehow I do not think it is to me."

Kagome frowned, uncertain for a moment of what to make of this cryptic sentiment until she recalled suddenly the words that had come pouring forth so haphazardly from her. So Midoriko had caught that bit, as well.

Her eyes went wide, but before mortification could pull her down into its clutches she felt Midoriko's hand come to rest gently atop one of her own. The look on the older woman's face as she met her gaze was infinitely gentle.

"Kagome," she said, the sound of it so tender that tears welled once more. "I do not wish to pry anything from you that you are not willing to share. Speak or do not speak as you will. However, the pain I witnessed in you just now...it's not the kind of suffering that can be shouldered alone. So, even if you do not feel me equal to sharing it, perhaps another...his Majesty or-"

Whatever else she might have said died on the tip of her tongue, the look on Kagome's face bringing her up short. Her grasp on the younger woman's hand tightened.

"Oh, no," Midoriko said softly.

Kagome bit her lip against a fresh wash of tears, the immediate comprehension in the O-Miko's face somehow making it all the worse. Hurriedly Midoriko reached out, gathering her up and pressing her to her chest. The gesture was so motherly that Kagome felt the last of her resistance crumble beneath it, silent sobs wracking her as she clutched at the front of Midoriko's robes.

It was hard to know how long they remained like that, Midoriko rocking her and wordlessly stroking her hair back. Eventually, though, and to her own surprise, Kagome's tears slowed and then subsided. The ache in her chest remained, but the sharp edges of it had been dulled at least.

Her eyes and her head ached as she at last managed to draw herself back, Midoriko releasing her with gentle reluctance. She reached out, using the edge of one of her trailing sleeves to wipe at Kagome's tear-stained cheeks.

"What in the world has he done?" she murmured. "I knew he was not the most tactful of men, but I never imagined-"

Kagome shook her head.

"No," she said hurriedly. "It wasn't him. He-he was just trying to do the right thing by me, I think, and it caught me off my guard. And I was so surprised and so scared that I just-I was the one who…"

She trailed off, uncertain of how to even begin to untangle the mess of it that she had made.

"Start from the beginning," Midoriko said as if reading her thoughts. "Surely whatever it is is not so complicated that we cannot find a way through it."

Kagome frowned, silently doubting this. Still, she at least owed the older woman something of an explanation for all of this.

"It happened yesterday morning when his Majesty summoned me to come see him," she said, her gaze dropping to her hands as they twisted into the fabric of her hakama. "He said-I think he misunderstood something that the appointees had told him, or perhaps they were the ones who misunderstood, but suddenly he was talking about me becoming Empress-"

"The appointees?" Midoriko broke in, her eyes growing round as twin full moons. "They told his Majesty that they wish you to become Empress?"

"I...I believe so," Kagome said slowly, more than a bit confused that that was the bit that seemed to have caught Midoriko's interest. "That is what he said, at least."

"That's amazing, though," Midoriko said, the words bursting from her as if she could not contain them. "I mean, I would have hoped his Majesty would have had a bit more tact than to simply spring all of that upon you all at once, but-"

"Wait," Kagome said. "Did you know something about this, Midoriko-sama?"

Midoriko blinked, a faint frown creasing her brow.

"Has his Majesty truly told you so little?" she said.

She shook her head, her frown deepening at Kagome's obvious confusion. She sighed.

"You know that I vowed to support you in any way that I could," she said. "When you and his Majesty came to me with the idea of the ceremony for the appointees, I...I saw an opportunity. One that I could not pass up. I consulted with his Majesty on it and he agreed. We thought that if we could present it properly, frame it in just the right light, then perhaps the courtiers could be made to see what the both of us already knew-that there are few better choices to fill the Empress' throne than you."

Kagome felt as if the ground had somehow dropped out from beneath her. She gaped at the older woman, her head fairly spinning as several things clicked rapidly into place.

"That was what all of that was?" she said faintly. "It was all...all some plot between you and…"

But she could not even bring herself to finish the thought. The pieces fit, but the whole of it made no sense.

"Why?"

She was not sure which why she wanted or if she even really wanted any of them at all.

Midoriko's frown deepened and she half reached out, her hand falling just short of Kagome's.

"You know why well enough," she said softly. "I have long since understood your feelings. I thought if there was even a chance of bringing them to fruition, it was this. And we feared to tell you of our plans as we did not think you would allow it."

"Of course I wouldn't have allowed it!" Kagome burst out. "I would have told you both that it was insane, impossible! That it could only ever harm Inuyasha in the courtiers' eyes! That going to these sorts of lengths for me out of some sort of misguided sense of-of duty or honor is just…!"

"Is that what you think this was? Honor? Duty?"

Kagome blinked, surprised to hear something like hurt in the other woman's voice. Midoriko's gaze searched her own, her frown deepening at what she found there.

"Then you rejected him?" she said.

Soft as they still were, the words landed like a blow. Kagome flinched, her gaze dropping to the dirt between them.

"What else could I have done?" she said. "But I never meant to hurt him. I just...I don't know how to help him understand that I...But what if I have destroyed it? What if I have destroyed what good that we had?"

Panic began to rise once more, its choking grip clawing at and closing up her throat. But Midoriko's hands were there this time to brush it aside, her fingers gentle against the side of Kagome's face as she reached out.

"If death itself could not sever the bond between you two, then I must believe that this will not, either," she said firmly. "But you cannot leave it at this, Kagome. I understand the fear you feel all too well, but you are allowing it to blind you to so many things. I need you to look, to truly try and look, at the man before you and the people around you. I need you to keep from walking that same painful path that I did."

Her eyes flicked briefly to the statue of Amaterasu that loomed above them before returning to Kagome's. Kagome shook her head.

"And what is it that you think I will see exactly?" she said.

Pushing back a few strands of her hair, Midoriko allowed her hand to fall away from Kagome's face. She shook her head.

"I hope it will be what I can see so clearly," she said. "But it is not mine to tell you. And even if it were, it would mean little coming from me. I understand seeing you now that you have to be ready, to be willing, to see it and embrace it with your own strength. A strength that I know you to possess."

"And if I don't? If I cannot see whatever it is that you think is there? If there is nothing there at all?"

The small smile that Midoriko offered her did not reach her eyes, but her gaze was steady when she answered.

"Then I will be here still," she said. "And we will walk that path together, as well."

She reached out her hand, offering it up to Kagome.

The pain and fear were still there, a constant, low thrumming through her veins, but she was not alone and never had been. Perhaps Midoriko, for all of her wisdom, was wrong. Perhaps she did not have the strength or perhaps there was nothing more to be seen.

But either way, so long as she reached out to find a hand reaching back, she would be able to keep moving forward.

And so Kagome reached out.

---

Midoriko remained with her until well past the time the sun began its descent. She remained through her long stretches of silence and effusions of chatter by turns, uncomplaining through both. She remained though she had to wheedle her into eating the afternoon meal and joining her in prayer and meditation. She remained in a way that reminded Kagome forcefully of the fact that Midoriko had been Kaede's teacher once, a recollection that threatened to undo her for the second time that day.

As the sun began to sink, Midoriko even offered to have a room made up in the Chūwain for her. There were plenty to spare, she said, and no one would think it odd should she choose to rest there for a time. But even as she spoke the words, Kagome could see the hope in the older woman that she would not accept the offer. And even as they were spoken she knew she would not.

As much of a relief as the day of respite had been, she knew that she could not rest knowing that she was still running away from what needed to be done. Thus she bade her farewells for the day to the O-Miko, thanking her for her patience and counsel and promising to come again as soon as she could.

The sky over the court as she turned her steps back towards the Dairi was a brilliant wash of soft reds and oranges as the sun sank slowly down below the horizon, the sight of it so soothing that Kagome paused a moment at the top of the steps to the Chūwain to take it all in. She drew in a slow, measured breath, feeling-

Feeling something slam into her legs so hard that she almost went toppling head first down the steps. Instinctively she threw all of her weight to her left, landing so hard on her hip and shoulder that it knocked the breath from her but narrowly avoiding the fall down the stairs. For long moments she lay there on the stone path, pain radiating in red waves beneath her closed eyelids from her hip and shoulder.

Her eyes slid open at the feeling of a hand on arm, gentle but urgent. Kneeling at her side was the small girl she had encountered running up the steps of the Chūwain several days ago, her expression pale and strained. As their eyes met she hastily bowed her head, soundlessly mouthing words Kagome could not quite make out.

Gritting her teeth against her body's protests, Kagome forced herself up off of the ground.

"It's alright," she murmured through clenched teeth. "I am fine. See, just a little fall."

The girl blinked, her brow furrowing as if she doubted the truth of this. Kagome offered her a small smile, hoping to reassure her somewhat.

"It was just an accident," she said. "Truly you need not worry. In fact, my little brother, Souta, used to have accidents like that all the time when he was younger. Back home in my village he was always so excited when he got to go out to play that he would run into nearly everything, people or otherwise. Sounds silly, doesn't he?"

A small, hesitant smile crept across the girl's face and she ducked her head in a brief nod. Kagome returned her smile, though inwardly she felt a twinge as she was finally able to get a good look at the girl's ragged appearance.

Even in the rapidly dimming light of the evening the dirt on her skin and tattered clothing were apparent. Her dark hair was a matted tangle down her shoulders and even beneath her ill-fitted, over-large yukata it was clear that she was too thin by far. The bruise she had noticed on her cheekbone the last time she had seen her had faded somewhat to a sickly yellow, but it was still apparent enough that whatever blow had caused it had been a bad one.

"What about you?" Kagome said. "Are you alright?"

The girl blinked, seeming somewhat startled by the question. She nodded, though, patting her own chest as if to demonstrate her hardiness. The bravado of the gesture reminded Kagome of Shippou and she had to swallow back a sudden lump in her throat.

"What is your name?" she asked. "Do your parents work here in the court?"

The girl frowned at this, shaking her head after a moment. She brought a hand up to her mouth, covering it and shaking her head.

Abruptly Kagome realized that the little girl had yet to utter a single sound.

"You cannot speak?" she said, eyes widening.

The girl nodded, mouthing what Kagome this time was able to make out as an apology.

"No," she said hurriedly. "No, I am sorry. It is my fault for not realizing sooner."

The girl held up her hand in a reassuring gesture, shaking her head. Her eyes rounded suddenly and she reached into the front of her robes, pulling forth a small ornamental hair comb and offering it up to Kagome.

Between the dim light and the well-worn lacquer of the comb-it had obviously been handled a great deal over the years-it was difficult to make out, but the Kanji carved into the spine of the trinket appeared to read "Rin".

"Is that your name? Rin-chan?"

The girl nodded vehemently, her face fairly splitting in a grin at how quickly she had understood her meaning. Kagome felt an answering smile stretch across her face, Rin's uncensored joy infectious.

"Pleased to meet you, Rin-chan," she said, bowing her head. "My name is Kagome."

Rin tapped the side of her head with one finger as if to indicate that this was something that she had already known, but also bowed her head in greeting.

"Do your parents work here in the court, then? I saw you here at the Chūwain some time ago and I had been hoping to find you again."

Rin's expression dimmed. She shook her head, her gaze falling to the stone walkway beneath them.

Kagome was not quite sure what to make of the response, but Rin did not seem to have any interest in elaborating further. Looking at the sight the girl made, though, her too-thin frame clad in ill-fitting, begrimed robes and a fading bruise on her face, it was not difficult to piece together the sort of circumstances she must be in.

Tentatively Kagome reached out, placing a gentle hand over one of Rin's. Rin's gaze jumped up to her face, surprise in her wide brown eyes.

"Have you eaten yet tonight?" Kagome said. "Perhaps if you were to come with me to the Dairi, we could get you some food and-"

But Rin was already shaking her head, pulling her hand away. She mouthed something that Kagome could only catch a few pieces of, something like "can't" and "have to go" before springing up.

"Wait," Kagome said, wincing as her hip refused to readily take her weight as she attempted to follow. "Hold on, Rin-chan, I just want to make sure-"

But Rin's eyes were on the darkening sky now, brow furrowing at the sight. She shook her head, dipping low in an apologetic bow before starting off at a rapid pace down the steps.

"Wait!" Kagome called again, struggling to her feet with no small amount of effort. "Rin-chan, please wait!"

She stumbled down a couple of steps, but the pain in her shoulder and hip was so sharp that she was forced to stop and breathe through it. She gritted her teeth, determined to pursue, but by the time she was able to force herself forward again Rin was already disappearing into the darkness at the bottom of the steps. Kagome bit her lip, knowing she had just about as much of a chance of catching the little girl as she did a bolt of lightning.

Well, at the very least she now knew her name. Surely with a bit of effort she could find her again in the court and make certain that she was taken care of.

First, though, she would just have to somehow drag the battered remnants of her body back to the Dairi. Sighing, Kagome began to make her limping way back.

---

Sleep did not welcome her into its embrace that night, either.

Not that she had much expected it to be otherwise, but she had held onto some small hope that perhaps the sheer force of her own exhaustion might drag her under. Between the deep ache in her hip and shoulder and the fact that she had returned to the Dairi to find that Inuyasha had not even deigned to scribble a response to her earlier note, though, her restlessness was really no great surprise.

Thoughts of Rin also continued to trouble her, though selfishly she found these much easier to dwell on than her own troubles. By the time she had made it back to the Dairi it was already time for the evening meal, the appointees greeting her warmly and sweeping her off to the meal with an effusion of excited chatter about their progress in the creation of the new Ministry that she was grateful to find did not require much input from her.

After the evening meal was finished she had been quickly whisked off to bed, her handmaiden of the evening continuing the flow of happy chatter until it was well past the time for the both of them to go to bed. The bustle of it all had left Kagome with no time to inquire after Rin as she had hoped to, but in her sleepless haze she resolved to seek out Chūsei in the morning to begin her inquiries after the girl.

But thoughts of Rin circled slowly back to thoughts of Shippou in her sleep deprived haze, circled back to the way she had looked like him in that brief moment. Circled back to when she had found him at Miroku's residence, small and vulnerable and lost within the neverending press of the court.

And suddenly she was outside of her chambers, standing in the brisk air of the gardens of her residence. Suddenly she was considering, wildly, just charging through the opening in the wall between their residences and demanding that he speak to her. That he hold her and protect her as he had done so many times before.

But she did not. She could not.

Instead she sat herself on the ledge of the walkway that circled her room, exhaustion bowing her head.

"Kagura-sama," she murmured. "Are you there?"

Of course she was. She felt the woman alight on the walkway beside her before the words were even fully out, the gust of wind that heralded her presence chilling her.

"Another late night," Kagura murmured. "Careful, or I might begin to worry for you."

"Is Kanna-sama available?" Kagome said, ignoring the thinly veiled jab. "Could you bring her to me?"

Even without turning to look she could feel Kagura's gaze upon her, measuring. She was unmoving, too tired by far to care.

"I will bring her if she is amenable," Kagura said after a beat. "Wait here."

The gust of her departure was colder by far. Kagome huddled down into the thin fabric of her sleeping yukata, wondering what in the world she was doing.

To Kagome's muddled reckoning It could have been mere moments or quite a span before Kagura returned, but either way she was grateful to sense Kanna's presence alongside the older woman's when they returned in a surge of wind.

"Are you...alright?" Kanna said.

Kagome frowned, feeling the answer in her bones and knowing she could ill afford to share it with either of them. Allies they might be, but at the end of the day Naraku still held ultimate control over them.

"I am fine, thank you, Kanna-sama," she said, hoping the words did not sound as hollow as they felt. "I only...I suddenly had a bad feeling about my friends who are outside of the court. I wanted to check in on them, to see if they are well, if you do not mind."

Kanna nodded her head slowly, but out of the corner of her eye Kagome could see the faint questioning lift of Kagura's dark brows.

Kanna's youki flared faintly in her spiritual sense as she lifted her mirror, positioning it just before Kagome's face. Shifting to face her fully, Kagome allowed her eyes to fall closed for a moment. It was not difficult to focus on thoughts of her friends, her desire to see them a lingering ache in her chest that never quite left.

When she opened her eyes they were there and she had to bite her tongue against what she was afraid might have escaped as a sob at the sight of them. The image was slightly distorted, but the three outlines silhouetted against the light of a dying fire were definitely those of her friends.

Sango was sprawled out on the ground, tucked into her futon with an arm stretched out over her head in slumber. Leaning against the base of a nearby tree was Miroku, head bowed but eyes still open as they reflected the glow of the embers. One of his arms hung down at his side, the tips of his fingers just barely brushing the tips of Sango's where they stretched out towards him. At his other side there was a small form curled against his leg, a fluffy red tail covering most of his face and arms. Absently Miroku's hand rested atop his head, the instinctive gesture paternal in a way that made Kagome's chest ache.

They looked like a family.

Each of them had been broken by the court in different ways. Miroku had been isolated and lost his father, Sango had been stifled and had her family scattered to the four winds, and Shippou had been orphaned. But still they had each other. Still they protected each other.

It made her want to reach out, to gather them to her, to protect them. It made her want to be in their arms, to feel them protecting her as they had done so many times before.

But they were too far to reach and they still had their own mission to accomplish. For now she could only protect herself and the people around her who needed her. People like Rin.

They were safe. They were taking care of one another. One day they would return to her. That much at least she could hold to her heart.

Until then, all she could do was keep walking forward.

She reached out, pressing reverent fingers to the cool glass of Kanna's mirror and watching as their image slowly dissolved. She drew in a deep breath, raising her gaze to meet Kanna's.

"Thank you," she said softly.

Kanna nodded. Behind her Kagura's gaze was hooded, inscrutable.

"I will be taking her back, then," she said. "...will you be alright on your own?"

Kagome glanced up at her, surprised at the genuine note of concern that had slipped into the youkai woman's voice. Kagura's gaze was fixed out on the garden, still impossible to read.

"I will be fine," Kagome said, the words a bit more solid than they had been before. "Thank you, Kagura-sama."

Kagura glanced at her out of the corner of her eye, but said nothing. She reached out to Kanna, the younger youkai placing a hand within hers before the both of them disappeared in a swirl of wind.

Though sleep was still not quick in coming as Kagome laid back down that night, she was glad to at least have some renewed sense of direction when at last it found her.

---

In the morning Kagome wasted no time in summoning Chūsei to her chambers. If anyone in the court would have the resources to track Rin down, she knew it would be her.

Chūsei arrived not long after the summons was sent out with several trays of food. She greeted her warmly, placing the dishes down before her and taking a seat on the cushion across from her.

No sooner had Kagome opened her mouth to speak than Chūsei held up a hand to forestall her.

"Unless it is a matter of life and death, it can surely wait until after you have eaten," she said, gesturing to the food in front of her with a look that brooked no nonsense.

Kagome blinked at her, half put off and half comforted by the familiar, mothering tone. Chūsei quirked a brow at her, dipping her head towards the food.

Sighing, Kagome took up her hashi.

"What is this obsession with feeding me?" she murmured under her breath.

"Someone has to concern themselves with it," Chūsei returned archly. "Left on your own, I doubt you would remember to do it in all of the running around that you do."

With that she picked up the second set of hashi she had brought, grabbing a dish and taking a few bites as if to encourage her. A reluctant smile crept across Kagome's face.

"It's good to see you," she said softly.

"You, as well, O-Miko-sama."

They ate for a stretch in companionable silence, Chūsei watching her out of the corner of her eye to ensure that she was eating a satisfactory amount. When at last she offered a small, approving nod, Kagome put down her hashi and folded her hands atop the table. Chūsei mirrored her.

"I need your help in finding someone," she said.

Chūsei's brows rose faintly. Clearly this was not what she had been expecting, but she waited silently for her to continue.

"All I have is a name and a description," Kagome said. "I suspect that she is a servant here in the court, but even that I am not entirely certain of. Would you be willing to try and help me to find her?"

"Of course," Chūsei said readily. "If she is a servant it should be no great feat to discover which clan she works for. But if it is a servant's aid that you require, my own services are always at your disposal, you know."

"And for that I am always grateful," Kagome said. "But it is nothing like that. I have run into her a couple of times and I...frankly I am worried for her. She is young and I do not know if she has anyone to care for her here in the court. I just...i just want to make certain that she is alright."

Chūsei looked at her for several long moments, her brow furrowing faintly. Abruptly she rose, her expression pinched as if she might cry. In a blink she was at Kagome's side, her arms wrapped around her so tightly she felt the breath go out of her.

"You really are a wonder, you know," she said, her voice tight with feeling. "An impractical wonder, but perhaps all the more a wonder for it. All that you've taken on in the court and you still find it in yourself to chase after every stray servant. Perhaps I've no right to claim pride in you, but I am so, so proud."

"You've as much right to it as anyone," Kagome said, leaning into the embrace. "You have walked with me through nearly every step of it. Besides, all I am doing is what I can. Nothing more."

She frowned faintly to herself, well aware that some small part of her drive to find Rin was her own sense of helplessness. She was adrift, wavering, afraid, but at least this was something that she could do. Something that she could focus on.

Shaking her slightly as if to rid her of the notion, Chūsei planted an affectionate kiss on the crown of her head. She leaned back, offering Kagome a smile. Kagome found herself smiling in return, unable to indulge her own upset long in the face of the older woman's warmth.

"Well, then," Chūsei said, leaning back. "Let's find your girl, shall we? What is it that we know?"

"Only that her name is Rin and she is unable to speak," Kagome replied. "She's young, no older than eight or so if I were to guess. She's small, smaller than she ought to be, with dark hair and light brown eyes. Both times that I have seen her she has been at the Chūwain, always rushing to somewhere, but no one at the Chūwain was able to tell me who she was or why she might be there. She's not of the servants or disciples there."

Chūsei hummed softly, her look growing thoughtful. After a moment she shook her head.

"No one matching all that springs to mind," she said. "But it should be enough to go off of. I'll put out word among the servants. Rest assured, if she can be found we will find her for you."

Kagome smiled.

"Then I will leave it to you," she said. "Thank you, Chūsei-san. Truly. For everything."

---

With the matter of Rin now safely in Chūsei's capable hands, Kagome found herself at something of a loss. After conferring with the appointees she was informed that their intent for the day was to return to the Chūwain and continue their studies of the records there on Ministry branches.

She and his Majesty would have ample time to themselves that day to do as they wished, Katsumi informed her with a knowing look that made her heart sink in her chest. Still she said nothing to this, lacking the strength or the knowledge of where to even begin correcting this misunderstanding with the appointees.

She knew the appointees being out for the day should have presented the perfect opportunity to speak with Inuyasha. Not in the way that Katsumi was hoping, of course, but in the way needed to be done. Since their disastrous discussion on the hillock Inuyasha had made himself scarce around the Dairi. She had not caught so much as a glimpse of him since that day and he had not bothered to send even the barest of notes in acknowledgement of the note that she had sent to him.

With the appointees gone they would have some semblance of privacy. She could go to him, apologize, try to explain herself properly this time. Inuyasha was a good man. Surely he would be able to understand why she could not…

But no sooner had she made up her mind then a servant came to her, informing her that her presence was required in the Daigokuden as soon as possible.

The Tachibana had returned.

The words had barely left the servant's mouth before Kagome was up and moving, her steps flying towards the Daigokuden. She could feel her heart in her throat as she bounded up the steps to the ceremonial hall, not even bothering to wait for a servant to open the doors or announce her before pushing her way inside.

And then she was in their midst, a cry going up from the group at the sight of her. There were arms around her, all around her and surrounding her. She reached out her own, trying to envelope as many of them as she could reach. It felt as if it had been a lifetime since she had parted with them, and it was such a relief to see them safe and whole and returned to the court.

Vaguely she heard them speaking to her, an effusion of chatter that was almost impossible to follow, but she was too overwhelmed by the sight of them to even begin to form a response. Her eyes roved their faces again and again-Noriko's, Tomiko's, even Gorou's-each one such a precious sight that she felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes.

Save for Sango, Miroku, Shippou, and Kohaku, the entirety of the group that she had once set out with was present there. She had known to expect as much, but there was one face missing that gave her pause.

"Haru?" she said, unable to manage anything more.

"Safe," said Noriko. "Back home in your village. He completed the mission with us and we saw him back safely."

Kagome nodded, leaning her head against the other woman's shoulder and revelling once more in the feeling of them all around her. They were safe. They were back. Perhaps, then, Sango, Miroku, Shippou, and Kohaku, too, might-

"The mission's complete, then?"

The unexpected voice sent a rush of ice through Kagome's veins. She froze, unable even to lift her head to verify the truth of it.

"Yes, Your Majesty," said Tomiko, turning to face him with a low bow. "We visited every village we could find and a great many accepted your Majesty's offer of support. Kouga-sama was also able to find us and we were able to pass off a map of villages to him. Last we saw him, Kouga-sama said that he was close to being finished distributing the necessary supplies."

As she spoke Kagome dared a glance up at the dais, the sight of him there enough to make her shrink down in the midst of the Tachibana.

Inuyasha sat atop the dais, his posture stiff and expression purposefully distant in a way that she had never seen before. He reminded her strangely of his brother, his gaze never once settling upon her.

Of course she should have known he would be here. Why would he not be present to receive the return report on a mission he had personally commissioned?

The knot in her stomach returned full force, the fall from joy to dismay so swift she thought she might be ill from it.

"Good," he said in that same strange, empty voice. "Thank you for your efforts on my behalf. If you can provide a map of the villages who agreed to the terms, I will begin the work of appointing governors to each province."

For the briefest of moments his eyes landed on her and Kagome felt her breath catch in her throat. As quickly as it had come, though, it was gone, the tightening of the line of his jaw the only indication that he had even recognized her.

Kagome pressed a hand to her stomach, feeling the knot tighten further.

"Of course, your Majesty," said one of the men, bowing.

He turned, reaching into the satchel at his hip and pulling forth the map. With a slight bow he proffered it to Kagome.

Kagome took it from him, though it took everything in her not to cringe as she did. Sooner or later she would be forced to see it delivered to Inuyasha, an encounter that she did not relish the idea of in the least. Perhaps she could hand it off to Chūsei and have her-

"Thank you again," came Inuyasha's voice, the sound of it almost enough to make her jump. "You must all be tired from the long journey back to the court. I dismiss you now to your rest. We will work to plan a ceremony to celebrate your return soon."

"With all due gratitude and respect, your Majesty," Gorou said, bowing. "We've not yet all returned. Until our leader, Sango-sama, and Miroku-sama and Shippou-kun return, we would request that any celebration be postponed and instead put ourselves in the service of yourself and the O-Miko-sama in whatever capacity you might require here in the court."

Kagome blinked at the man, the last one in the group that she would have expected such a sentiment to be coming from. But as she watched the rest of the group nodded their agreement, united in the sentiment. She smiled faintly, wishing that Sango could be there to see it and resolving to tell her as soon as they were reunited.

Atop the dais, Inuyasha inclined his head in acknowledgement.

"Fine," he said. "But the order to rest still stands. Go home to your families. Take the rest that you have earned and know that anything you need will be provided."

The group bowed low before him, voicing their thanks before beginning to trickle slowly out of the room. Several stopped to embrace Kagome once more, promising to come to see her as soon as they had had a bit of time to settle back in. She returned their embraces and sentiments wholeheartedly, so grateful to have them back safe in the court that she felt full to the brim with it.

As the last one stepped out the door, though, a chill crept across her skin. Kagome froze, realizing abruptly the situation she had allowed herself to fall into.

Behind her she sensed his presence, heavy and unmoving. Inwardly she cursed herself, her chance at slipping away unnoticed completely gone now. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to turn around.

It was now or never.

"Inuyasha-sama, I-"

"Don't bother."

Inuyasha rose, his gaze distant.

"I ain't trying to force anyone," he said, descending the dais and sweeping past her without so much as a glance.

He reached out to push the doors open and Kagome felt a sharp spike of panic go through her. She had a sudden, strange certainty that if she let him go now, like this, then it would be final. This would be the way of it between them forever.

"Wait," she said, the word a small, strangled sound as it escaped her. "Please, wait."

Inuyasha froze, his hand still on the door. He made no move to face her, but the sudden tension that drew his shoulders taut told her clearly enough that he was listening.

"I-"

She what? She was sorry she had hurt him? She was sorry that she was not strong enough to take what he offered her? She loved him still, too dearly and deeply for words, and was terrified at the thought of him putting her away from him?

But try as she might the words would not come. They echoed in her chest, ached there, trapped. She bit her lip, gaze falling to the map clutched in her hand.

"...what of the appointment of the governors?" she said at last, despising herself more with every word of it.

Inuyasha said nothing for several long moments, his ears flattening back until they were amidst the silver of his hair. His shoulders slumped, fists clenching at his sides.

"I'll send a note."

And then he was gone, the sound of the door slamming closed echoing behind him.

---

If not for the blessed distraction of Chūsei's findings, Kagome was not certain she would have found the strength to crawl out of her futon the next day. She had spent the remainder of the previous day in a miserable haze, scarcely able to do more than return to her residence and make a half-hearted attempt at working on ideas for the new Ministry branch.

It was all for nothing, though, and for once she was grateful for the small distraction that her handmaid of the night offered when at last the woman arrived.

Chūsei's news provided her with a much needed direction, something to focus her thoughts on that had nothing to do with Inuyasha. She informed Kagome that after putting out a few inquiries she had found that there was a girl matching the description that Kagome had given currently in service to the Abe clan. She could not promise that the girl was Rin, but the description was a close enough match to get Kagome up and going.

Kagome thanked her for her efforts, only barely hearing the older woman's warnings to proceed with caution where the Abe clan was concerned as even Chūsei herself had little information on them besides some unflattering murmurs. Kagome was dressed and on her way to the Abe clan main house as soon as she was able to dismiss herself from the morning meal.

From what she could recall of the Abe clan, they were a minor clan composed primarily of youkai that had tended in the past to ally themselves with the Taira. This alone should have been enough to give Kagome pause, but she simply could not find it within herself to care as she presented herself at the gates of the main Abe clan house and requested an audience.

To her surprise she was granted one without question, a steaming mug of tea and the lady of the Abe clan awaiting her. She knelt down at the table, wary at the intent look in the youkai woman's pale green eyes.

"O-Miko-sama," she said with a smile that revealed gleaming, elongated fangs. "What an unexpected pleasure. Please, join me, won't you?"

She gestured to the cushion placed just across the table from her, her eyes never leaving Kagome's. A skitter of trepidation crawled along the back of Kagome's neck, the hairs there rising. She truly would have done well to put a bit of thought into this before rushing blindly into it.

Too late now, though.

She knelt down upon the cushion that had been offered, pasting on her best semblance of a cordial smile.

"Thank you for your hospitality, cousin," she said. "And my apologies for coming unannounced."

The woman, Abe Hakujou, dismissed this apology with a graceful wave of her hand. The fingers of that hand were abnormally elongated and claw-tipped, a true predator's hands if ever she had seen them. Her skin was pale enough to be luminescent, her hair a river of sleek crimson down her back. She reminded Kagome faintly of Kagura, poised power coiled like a serpent beneath a cool exterior.

"Not at all," she said, a low thrumming quality to her voice that Kagome found both soothing and vaguely unnerving. "I only wonder what urgent errand must bring such a busy personage as yourself to me."

Another thing she would have done well to think on before bumbling head first into this errand. Lifting the steaming mug of tea before her to her lips, Kagome took a long sip to buy herself a moment to think.

She could simply tell the truth of it. But, no. She did not want to risk the woman trying to conceal Rin from her if she felt that there was something to hide. Besides which the woman would likely think her mad, chasing after the ghost of a rumor of-

"A yūrei," Kagome said, setting her mug down a bit harder than she had intended. "Spirts, that is. Several reports have made their way to Midoriko-sama regarding yūrei roaming the streets of the court at night. Midoriko-sama is understandably concerned at these reports and requested my assistance in assuring that the blessings on all of the residences are strong enough to dissuade any ill-intentioned yūrei from attempting to enter."

Hakujou's eyes widened faintly, but Kagome was grateful to see little in the way of suspicion there. If anything she seemed to accept this explanation with surprising ease, leaving Kagome to wonder if this perhaps was not an uncommon occurrence within the court.

"I see," she said, her gaze growing thoughtful. "I suppose it is only to be expected, after all. The spirits here in the court have been ill at their ease ever since the throne war. It is only to be expected that all the changes of late would cause them to stir once more."

Kagome nodded, schooling her features to conceal her surprise. Not uncommon at all, then. Inwardly she wondered at it, wondered at the depth of violence and suffering that could keep spirits tethered to the world for so many years. Wondered how much work was still left to do to heal wounds that ran so deep.

But these were thoughts for another time. For now she could only address the problem before her.

"Would you mind if I went about the residence, then, Abe-sama?" she said.

Hakujou nodded.

"Of course," she said. "You are doing my clan a great service. I will guide you myself as soon as you are ready."

Kagome bit back a frown. Not exactly what she had been hoping for, but she supposed it was to be expected. She nodded, forcing a smile.

"Thank you for your generosity, cousin," she said. "I am ready whenever you are."

Abe Hakujou bowed her head, rising in one fluid motion and gesturing for her to follow. Kagome rose, trailing after her into the depths of the residence.

The Abe main house was not overly large-certainly nowhere near the size of the Tachibana main house-but it was lush and lavishly decorated in a way that Kagome had yet to see in any clan house. It spoke of old wealth, of a clan that was long-lived within the court.

A clan that had allied themselves with the Taira and with Naraku, though Kagome doubted that they were aware of the latter. They were clearly an old clan of pure-bred youkai, though, and perhaps after failing to win the favor of previous Tennō they had seen an opportunity for power and influence at last in what the Taira offered.

But the treatment Kagome received now from the lady of the Abe clan was nothing short of civil as she toured her from room to room. She had seen for some time the Abe clan beginning to distance themselves more and more from the Taira and she could only surmise that it was due to Inuyasha's efforts to assert himself and his authority as the Tennō. The influence of the Taira and their chances of succeeding in their designs against Inuyasha were waning, and the Abe saw this.

Cool and calculating, then. That was the distinct impression that Kagome got as she observed the youkai woman. Not a motion was wasted, nor an opportunity to question her. She looked fatigued, had she been feeling well? How progressed matters with the appointees? When was his Majesty to announce his choice of Empress? Surely Kagome would know, as the two of them were so closely linked.

Hakujou peppered these questions in here and there, as casually as if she were making inquiries after the weather. Kagome was not so new to the court anymore as not to recognize a valuation when she was caught in one. Abe Hakujou would just as soon go against her as support if she deemed her in any way to be lacking.

Thankfully her many trials in the court with this particular breed of scrutiny had not left Kagome lacking. Her answers were all vague niceties, dulling the edges of the barbed questions and turning them back for her hostess to answer. How kind of her to be concerned for her health, did she find herself to be in good spirits? The appointees were settling in quite well, had she heard from the member of the Abe clan who had been brought in? And his Majesty was taking great care in the matter of his choice, to be sure, but had she any suggestions she wished her to bring to him?

Hakujou, every bit as circumspect as Kagome had suspected, was equally guarded in her answers, though the questions had the desired effect of making it difficult for her to continue her own inquiries without pushing the boundaries of polite conversation. Thus their conversation slowly petered out, Kagome tending to the prayers and blessings of each room.

At last they reached a large ceremonial tea room which Hakujou declared to be the last room of the residence. Kagome frowned faintly, a small detached building clearly visible from the covered walkway on which they stood. The servants' quarters, she guessed as they had yet to see them.

When she inquired about it, Hakujou gave her a look as if she had said something entirely incomprehensible.

"Oh, no," she said after a moment. "That is merely the servants' quarters. You need not waste your energies there, O-Miko-sama."

Kagome's frown deepened, but before she could even begin to form some sort of response to this a soft voice interrupted. A servant-the first she had seen since entering the residence, Kagome realized suddenly-begged for their pardon from the other side of the shoji, informing Hakujou softly that there was a matter that urgently required her attention.

The curl of disdain at the corner of Hakujou's lips did not bode well for the servant woman and Kagome hastily assured her host that it was not trouble to her at all, that she was happy to rest for a moment where the view of the garden was so nice. This took some of the edge out of the youkai woman's expression, but Kagome was still left with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach as Hakujou went off with promises of returning with something to eat for the both of them.

As soon as the other woman was well out of sight Kagome took off towards the small wooden structure, uncertain how much time she might have to do what she needed to do.

The structure was even smaller up close and Kagome was uncertain how it could possibly house the number of servants necessary to maintain a residence this size. It was smaller even than the hovel Inuyasha had found tucked away behind his quarters where the two of them had...well, suffice it to say it was small. She wondered if there was perhaps another building hidden somewhere…

She slid the outermost shoji open, peering into the gloom inside. The musty, close scent of the place hit her immediately, all rotting wood and stale air. There were a few figures stirring in the deep shadows within and Kagome slipped inside, hurriedly sliding the shoji closed behind her.

Two sets of eyes met hers, wide with panic as they rose hurriedly to their feet. Kagome raised her hands before her, trying as much as she could to show that she was no threat.

"O-Miko-sama," gasped one, the woman of the pair, bowing low. "Our apologies, we did not know to expect-"

Beside her the man of the pair was trembling faintly, hands clenched at his sides and eyes fixed on the rotted wood of the floor beneath them.

"Please," Kagome said. "Please be at your ease. I am the one who snuck into your quarters, after all. And I am the one who needs your help."

Both glanced up at her at this, eyes wide as full moons in the stifled light of the room. The man glanced furtively at the woman, who shook her head faintly in response.

"O-Miko-sama," he said, the tremor in his limbs reaching his voice now. "Please, we-if Abe-sama were to find you here…"

"She has no idea that I am here," Kagome said hurriedly. "And I swear she will never know. I swear it. Please. I only came to find someone. Nothing more."

They traded another glance, their looks still deeply wary.

"I doubt that there is anyone worth finding here," the woman murmured.

As her eyes adjusted to the deep shade of the room she realized that what she had taken for the play of shadow was actually a bruise on the woman's cheek. There was one upon the man, too, just at the edge of the neckline of his frayed yukata. Bruises just like the one she had seen on Rin's cheek. The sick feeling in the pit of her stomach grew until she had to press a hand there in the hopes of containing it.

"I am looking for a young girl," she said, uncertain what else to say. "Her name is Rin. She cannot speak, but I believe her to be a servant here."

Neither said a word for several long moments, though their eyes spoke volumes that she could not comprehend. The woman raised her head, her eyes bright with something Kagome could not name.

"She serves here," she said. "Or served here. I've not seen the little fool for days, always disappearing as if she didn't know what would await her here on return."

She gestured vaguely with her chin to the darkest corner of the room. There were the ragged remains of what might have once been a futon there, not even a screen to separate it from several others crowded into the same corner. Beside it there was some sad scrap of cloth tacked up on the wall, the image on it just barely discernible as a great white dog youkai.

At first glance it appeared to be a depiction of Sesshoumaru's youkai form, but upon closer inspection the markings were all wrong. A depiction of the former Tennō, she realized.

"This is where you all sleep?" Kagome said. "All forced together like this?"

The man gave a small shrug, his eyes fixed firmly on the floor.

"Abe-sama feels that servants should not be seen more than is necessary," he muttered. "She would rather we not take up too much space in the residence."

Kagome was silent, at a loss for words. Even back in her village something like this would have been a rarity, seen only in instances when a hut was needed to house the ill or several families had fallen on particularly hard times and had to shelter together. How in the world could something like this exist within the court with all of the space and wealth and plenty that existed here? How could she not have known of it?

"We've tried to look after her since illness took her parents," the woman said, interrupting the line of Kagome's thoughts. "But they were as poor off as it comes, left her nothin' but a comb and that shabby little hanging that she clings to like it's made from finest silks, and she's been a wild little thing ever since they passed. Always running off. 'Sides, all of us here have concerns of our own to tend to."

"Kami," Kagome murmured, the situation far worse than she had even dared to imagine. "And the bruise...she has bruises…"

The woman and the man glanced at one another and Kagome's eyes were drawn back to the bruises that mottled their skin. The man frowned, his hand rising to cover his own.

"Abe-sama believes that the older court methods are the best to train her servants," he said lowly.

"You cannot mean…"

But she could not get the rest of the words out, their faces telling her only too clearly the truth of it.

"You may've proven yourself to be an exception, O-Miko-sama, but the rest of us are common born still," said the woman, a bitter curve to her lips.

"I-"

Whatever Kagome might have said was interrupted by the sound of a soft voice calling out to her. The pair froze, their eyes going round with a blank terror that was awful to see. Kagome held up a finger to her lips, hoping they would hold their silence.

Hakujou's voice called out to her several more times, moving first closer and then slowly further away from the servants' quarters. As it grew more distant Kagome crept toward the shoji, sliding it open the barest fraction to peer outside. Hakujou was nowhere to be seen and she turned back to the pair of servants.

"I swear to you she will never know that I was here," she whispered. "And I promise you that I will be back. I won't allow this to stand."

The man still would not meet her eyes. The woman merely shook her head.

"Power's all they'll ever understand," she said, her hand moving absently to the bruise on her cheek. "Best not to waste what little you've gotten for yourself on us."

Kagome hesitated, struggling to find any answer to this. The empty look in the woman's eyes told her clearly enough that nothing she could say would be anything but hollow promises as far as they were concerned.

She ducked her head, slipping silently out into the garden and vowing that she would find some way to fix this for them.

---

After managing to convince Hakujou that she had merely gotten lost while admiring the gardens, Kagome beat a hasty retreat from the residence. She was afraid of what she might do were she to remain much longer, just the sight of the woman enough to make her feel as if the blood in her veins ws boiling.

As soon as she was free of the Abe residence she turned her steps toward the Dairi, uncertain what she was going to do but knowing that she would need to start there. Surely if she could just get Inuyasha to talk to her, to understand what was going on there-

All of her half-formed plans were diverted as she reached the Suzaku ōji. An unusual number of courtiers were gathered there, hushed murmurs going up from among them as fans moved in stunned, furtive gestures. They made way for her as she approached, watching her with wide eyes as she made her way into the center of the group.

The world around her seemed to go silent all at once. She stared, uncomprehending, at the sight before her.

A courtier knelt in the street, her face pale and strained. There was a faint sheen of sweat upon her brow as she reached down with trembling hands to the small figure that lay sprawled out before her.

The form was small, so incredibly small, and covered from head to toe in a mixture of dirt and blood. Her dark hair was matted to her face with dried blood and what little was visible of her skin beneath all of the mess was deathly pale. Her thin, colorless yukata was stained red, a patch at her left shoulder particularly dark.

The noblewoman leaning over the small form-a woman of the Minamoto clan, Kagome noted absently-looked up at her with wide, desperate eyes.

"O-Miko-sama," she said, the word barely a whisper.

Still it was enough to stir Kagome from her inaction. She dropped down onto her knees, leaning in to press her ear to the young girl's chest. It was faint, far too faint, but she could hear a heartbeat still.

Her hands moved instinctively, long years of training as a healer under Kaede guiding them. The largest wound appeared to be the one at her shoulder, though it was difficult to tell how deep it was exactly without removing the yukata. Close up she could see the faint rise and fall of Rin's chest, each breath labored.

"What happened?" she said, her hands still roaming the girl's form in search of other wounds.

"I-I don't know," the Minamoto woman said, shaking her head. "I don't know! I saw the courtiers gathered and she-she was just-just lying out here like this…"

There was no time. If she was not treated soon she would not stand a chance. Kagome looked up, face after face after face looking blankly back at her.

"What are you doing?!" she cried. "How can you just stand there? She is dying! Get-get help! Get Midoriko-sama! Do something, anything, please-!"

A body detached itself from the mass, darting off towards the Chūwain. Kagome leaned forward, pressing both hands against the wound on Rin's shoulder. The girl's eyelids fluttered faintly at the contact, but beyond that she was still. Bad, bad, bad.

"You've no idea how this happened?" Kagome said, reaching out with her spiritual sense for any other wounds that might be concealed beneath the girl's yukata.

"None," the Minamoto woman replied hurriedly. "I found her here and…You can save her, O-Miko-sama, can you not? Surely you can save her."

Kagome said nothing, her energies focused fully on the girl before her. She tried not to feel the eyes that she knew were upon her, the eyes that stared as if Rin were some strange curiosity and not a child dying in their eyes that saw only a servant, no more a concern to them than if she served their household or not.

"It's alright," she murmured, well aware that the child was beyond hearing her. "It's alright. I promise all will be well."

It might have been mere moments or days to Kagome's reckoning before suddenly there were hands atop her own. She raised her gaze from that pale, wan face to that of her mentor's, the older woman's gaze dark with concern.

"Get her to the Chūwain," she said to someone beyond Kagome. "Make haste, but be careful. Do not jostle her overmuch. The western prayer hall should have the necessary herbs. I said make haste."

Rin was snatched out of her hands, her frail form buoyed up and beyond the crowd. Kagome blinked down at her blood-stained hands, rising to her feet only when Midoriko grabbed her wrist and forced her up.

"Come," the older woman said, her voice brooking no dissent. "Come, child. The both of us will be needed to have any hope of saving her."

Kagome trailed after her, the wall of courtiers parting before her once more. She felt their stares upon her as she went, distant and concerned and strange.

The journey to the Chūwain was a blur, images sliding in and out of focus until Rin was before her again. She was arranged atop a futon, stripped down to allow them to assess the full extent of her wounds. There were several scratches on her arms and legs, but blessedly these appeared to be superficial at worst. There were several bruises up and down the length of her, as well, but the mottled yellowish coloring of these suggested that they were from days ago.

Kagome gritted her teeth against a sudden wave of rage, well aware of where those marks had come from. Rage would not serve her now, though, and it certainly would not save Rin. Best to swallow it back for now, to save it for when it would be needed.

Midoriko appeared with a wet cloth, beginning to gingerly clean the area around the wound in Rin's shoulder. It was deep, deeper even than Kagome had guessed, and Midoriko's expression was grim as she worked.

Kagome picked up another damp cloth and went to work on the wound on Rin's head, pushing back the matted hair around it carefully. The cut was a shallow one, appearing worse only because of the nature of head wounds to bleed heavily. Applying a bit of salve was enough to staunch the flow and she knew it would heal easily given a bit of time.

Assuming that time was something Rin would have.

She turned her attentions to the shoulder wound, fighting back a grimace at the sight of it. Whatever had made the wound had left the surrounding flesh in tatters, piercing with a savage sort of strength down almost to her collarbone.

"What do you think?" Kagome said softly.

"I think the wound needs to be cleaned thoroughly before we can stitch it," Midoriko replied, her hands never stilling in their work. "With the right mix of herbs we should be able to dull some of her pain, as well."

An expert evasion if ever Kagome had heard one.

"What do you think, Midoriko-sama?" she repeated more firmly.

Midoriko glanced up at her, offering what Kagome thought might have been intended as a smile but that looked more like a grimace.

"Her wound is scarcely worse than the one you had on your shoulder," she said. "And you survived, did you not?"

Kagome frowned, recalling the miracle that it had taken to bring her back from that wound.

She drew in a slow breath, squaring her shoulders. Well, if it was a miracle that was needed to save the little girl, then they would simply have to make one themselves.

Sending up a quick prayer to Amaterasu, the pair got to work.

---

When the wound was at last clean and dressed, the worst part began. The waiting.

Rin had scarcely stirred the entire time that they were working, something that concerned Kagome almost as much as the wound itself. Now she lay quiet in a fresh futon, her small features strained and a faint sheen of sweat upon her brow. Kagome reached out, dabbing at her brow with a cool cloth.

She had resolved that she would tend to her personally until Rin awoke, planting herself firmly and refusing any offers of food or a chance to clean up. She had already failed the poor girl enough. The least she could do was be there for her now.

Not long after she began her vigil, she heard the sound of the shoji sliding open behind her. Midoriko, kneeling across from her, rose suddenly to her feet, bowing.

"Your Majesty," she said, and Kagome felt as if her heart had leapt into her throat.

She turned, her eyes wide as they landed on his face.

And she recalled his last cold dismissal of her, remembered their disastrous encounter on the hillock, knew that he likely wanted nothing to do with her.

But he was here, his face pale and his features tight with worry. He was here looking at her as he always had, his gaze still that of her dearest friend.

For that moment at least nothing else mattered. For that moment he was here.

She was on her feet and in his arms in a blink, the warmth of him all around her enough to send a tremor through her. She could feel his face pressed to the crown of her head and the strain in his frame as he pressed her as close as he could get her. She clutched at the front of his robes, feeling all of the fear and exhaustion of the day rushing through her all at once.

"Kami, Kagome," he murmured, and she could feel his lips moving against her hair. "Kami. They said that someone was hurt and no one could find you. I thought-"

"I'm fine," she said. "I'm alright. It was Rin. The courtiers, they found her lying in the street and they just...they just looked on. They just let her lay there, like they didn't care. Like she was nothing to them."

"Oi, oi," he said, moving back just enough to be able to look down into her face. "It's alright. It'll be alright. I'll make it alright."

His thumbs ran across her cheeks, swiping away tears that she had not even realized were there. She shook her head, feeling her lower lip begin to tremble at the uncharacteristically gentle gesture from him.

"How?" she said. "She was struggling, suffering, and I could not reach her in time. This whole time people have been suffering and I did not even see them."

"Kagome, what-?"

A soft tapping sound interrupted him, Kagome's gaze darting back down to the girl on the futon. Rin's eyes were just barely open, her hand tapping faintly on the tatami beneath her. Her lips moved soundlessly, her breath coming in shallow gasps.

Extricating herself from Inuyasha's grasp, Kagome lowered herself to the girl's side.

"It's alright," she said, pressing the girl's hair back from her face. "You're alright, Rin-chan. You're safe here."

But Rin shook her head, mouthing a word that Kagome could not make out over and over. Beside her she felt Inuyasha kneel down and Rin's eyes went wide at the sight of him, her hand trembling as she lifted it to reach for him. She pointed to his hair, his eyes, still mouthing that same strange word.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," said Midoriko, leaning in to watch the girl's face. "She is asking for Sesshoumaru-sama."

Rin turned to her, nodding and mouthing the word again. Kagome frowned, the mystery of Rin's frequent presence in the Chūwain suddenly becoming clear. She had been sneaking in to see Sesshoumaru. But what in the world would a human servant girl have to do with Sesshoumaru?

"What in the seven hells would she want with that bastard?" murmured Inuyasha, giving voice to her thoughts.

Kagome set aside the question for the moment, looking to Midoriko.

"Her wound," she said softly. "We cannot risk moving her."

Midoriko nodded, her gaze shifting to Inuyasha.

"We cannot move her," she repeated. "Sesshoumaru-sama would need to be brought here."

Inuyasha's brows rose incredulously, his gaze sliding from Midoriko to Kagome and back again.

"You can't be serious," he said. "You want me to let that bastard out to-"

An insistent tapping cut him off, Rin's hand rapping against the floor with all of her fading strength. She frowned darkly up at him, shaking her head.

Opening her mouth to mouth something to him, the girl's small frame was suddenly wracked with a fit of coughing. She fell back against the futon, a small trickle of blood at the corner of her lips. Kagome felt a thrill of panic at the sight, hands balling into fists at her sides as Midoriko leaned forward to run a cool cloth over her face.

Kagome turned to Inuyasha, reaching out to grasp at his arm.

"Please," she said softly. "Please. I've no idea why she would want to see him, but if he can bring her any kind of comfort right now then you have to allow him to come here."

Inuyasha's expression said clearly enough that he thought them all out of their minds, but one glance at Rin killed any half-formed arguments he might have made. She had blanched paler even than the fabric of the futon beneath her, her eyes half-lidded as she struggled to hold on to consciousness.

He sighed, shaking his head.

"Hang on, kid. Just hang on and we'll get him here."

---

Getting Sesshoumaru to her proved to be slightly more difficult than Kagome would have hoped.

At the sight of Inuyasha Sesshoumaru's youki flared, his eyes beginning to bleed red. Inuyasha's hand went to Tetsusaiga at his waist, his own hackles rising at the blatant challenge.

It took Kagome stepping between them, exhausted and still covered in blood, to keep a fight from breaking out. Sesshoumaru's eyes fixed on her immediately, sharp enough to send a chill through her.

"Why is her blood upon you, human?" he said, voice low with the promise of pain to come.

Behind her Inuyasha growled low in his throat, but Kagome held up a hand to forestall him.

"Rin is badly hurt," she said, her eyes never leaving Sesshoumaru's. "Midoriko-sama and I have treated her the best that we could. She is calling for you."

Sesshoumaru was silent for several long moments, his gaze cold as a winter's night as it searched hers. The corners of his lips tugged downward, the closest Kagome had ever seen to a frown on his face.

"Take me to her."

They complied, though it took several expletives and a vow of harm should he attempt anything on Inuyasha's part. Ultimately the hanyou led the way, insisting that Kagome bring up the rear in case Sesshoumaru should try to attack from behind. Kagome did as he wished, lowering the barrier for the three of them to pass through and watching the pair before her with an exhaustion that made the entirety of the day feel as if it were some surreal fever dream.

But the battered form of the child lying upon the futon when they reached the western prayer hall was all too real. Kagome bit her lip, Rin's helpless form inspiring another wave of tears that she could not afford to indulge. Vaguely she felt Inuyasha move to her side, his presence warm and solid in a way that she desperately needed.

Sesshoumaru dropped to Rin's side in a motion that was strangely graceless compared to all that Kagome had seen from him before. He did not reach out, his hand fixed at his side, but his gaze was fixed on the girl's face.

As if she sensed him there Rin's eyes opened, her gaze fixing unerringly on his face. At the sight of him a smile split her face, as wide as if she had never known pain in her life. Sesshoumaru's expression remained unmoved, but his eyes never left her face.

She mouthed several words that were incomprehensible to Kagome, but that Sesshoumaru acknowledged with a faint nod. Her smile widening, she tapped the spot above her heart with a trembling hand. Sesshoumaru nodded once more.

Slowly Rin's eyes began to fall shut, her smile never dimming. Her hand stilled and came to rest upon her chest, her body relaxing back against the futon. At her side Kagome felt Inuyasha jerk, his eyes wide as he took an abortive half-step towards the girl's small form.

"Wait," he said, the word strangled.

Midoriko leaned forward hurriedly, her hands going to the sides of Rin's face. She patted her cheeks, shaking her gently, but the girl did not stir.

"Rin-chan," she said. "Rin-chan, come now. Open your eyes, child. Please, stay awake for us."

"Do not waste your breath," Sesshoumaru said, his head bowed. "She is dead."

Kagome felt the words like a blow, her legs going out from under her. Inuyasha's arms were the only thing that kept her from crashing to the floor, the hanyou holding on to her as he lowered them both down to kneel at the girl's side.

Kagome stretched her hand out, fingers just brushing the girl's covered leg. Even through the cloth she could feel how small and thin the girl was, could still feel the lingering warmth of her skin.

"No," she said. "No."

She was only a child. A child like Souta or Shippou. What had she done to deserve a life like this? What had she done to deserve to be beaten and neglected? What had she done to lay dying in the streets of the court, courtiers gaping at her as if she were no more than a macabre curiosity? What had she done to deserve to die like this?

"It's not fair," she said, tears falling hot and fast onto the futon. "It's not fair!"

Inuyasha held her more tightly and she could feel the tension in his own frame.

"Where is my sword?"

The words, low and cool, froze them both. They turned to Sesshoumaru, though the daiyoukai's eyes had never once left Rin. There was something else there now, though, something sharp and bright in his gaze that had not been there before. He glanced at them from the corner of his eye, his lips curling down faintly.

"My sword," he said again. "The sword that you took from me."

Inuyasha's hand moved instinctively to the sword sheathed at his waist, his body shifting until Kagome was safely behind him. Sesshoumaru's frown deepened.

"My sword, half-breed," Sesshoumaru repeated, eyes narrowing. "The Tenseiga. It was taken from when I was brought into the court."

Vaguely Kagome could recall seeing a sword sheathed at Sesshoumaru's waist when he had first arrived at the court to challenge Inuyasha. Never once had he used it or even reached for it, though. What in the world could he want with it now?

The confusion in Inuyasha's face mirrored her own as he shook his head.

"Like hell I'm gonna give you a sword, bastard," he said. "The kid is dead and you-!"

"I can bring her back."

The words seemed to suck all of the air out of the room. Kagome, Midoriko, and Inuyasha gaped at him, each struggling to make sense of any of what was happening. Sesshoumaru's hand curled into a fist at his side, lips curling downwards in one of the few true displays of anger that Kagome could ever recall seeing from him.

"This Sesshoumaru has neither the time nor the patience to indulge your idiotic gaping," he said. "The pall bearers arrive as we speak. Once they have taken her she will be beyond my reach."

Midoriko's eyes, red-rimmed and teary, went wide. She glanced briefly at Inuyasha before rising and rushing out of the room.

"Can you really do it?" Kagome said, her voice small as she leaned forward to grasp at Inuyasha's shoulder. "Can you truly bring her back?"

It was ludacris. There was no reason at all for any of them to believe him. Surely he simply wanted his sword, saw this as his only chance at getting his revenge on them.

But as they waited he made no move to leave Rin's side. Rin had smiled at him, had begged to see him as she lay dying. Kagome wanted to believe.

Sesshoumaru made no response.

It did not take long for Midoriko to return with the sword, the weapon having been stored in a wing of the Chūwain for safekeeping after it had been taken from Sesshoumaru. She paused, breathing hard from her sprint. Again she looked to Inuyasha, her eyes seeking.

Kagome could see Inuyasha's jaw tighten, his struggle much the same as her own. His gaze darted from Midoriko to Rin's prone form to her before he rose, holding out his hand.

"Give it to me," he said.

Midoriko bowed her head, holding the sword out to him with both hands. He took it from her, turning to face his brother.

"One wrong move and I won't hesitate to cut you down, you understand?"

Sesshoumaru said nothing, rising to meet him. He reached out, wrapping hand around the hilt of the sword and pulling it free of the sheath in one fluid motion.

On the surface the blade was no different than any other Kagome had ever encountered before, but the feel of the youki pulsing around it was enough to raise the small hairs on her arms. It was nothing like the feeling of Tetsusaiga, all controlled, coiled strength like nothing she had never sensed before.

Sesshoumaru raised the blade and the pressure of the youki in the room increased tenfold. Inuyasha's hand was on Tetsusaiga, fangs bared and his free arm thrown out to shield her.

But Sesshoumaru's gaze was fixed firmly on Rin as he brought the blade down. Kagome cried out, horrified at the sight despite the knowledge that the girl was already gone.

The blade never reached her. It hovered, poised just above her body, and for the briefest flash Kagome could see. There were several small, grey forms gathered around Rin's body, tiny, sharp teeth bared as they bound her up in ropes.

Pallbearers, Kagome realized suddenly, there to usher Rin's spirit away. She could see them.

They were gone as soon as she sighted them, though, but down by the arc of Tenseiga's blade. In their wake the bonds they had tied about the body dissolved into only so much dust, leaving Rin's body unfettered.

Her eyes sprang open.

---

Given several years' time tothink on it Kagome was not sure she could have conceived of the odd sight that the three of them made together.

Inuyasha, his hand on the Tetsusaiga still and his golden gaze dark. Sesshoumaru, kneeling with the Tenseiga laid out before him. And herself, exhausted and covered in blood and so, so tired as she sank down into a corner.

In the room just beside them were Midoriko and Rin, both incredibly, blessedly alive. And Rin had spoken, her voice a thin, joyful thing as she thanked Sesshoumaru for bringing her back.

Back from the dead, Kagome thought for what seemed the hundredth time. Her thoughts circled endlessly around this, around the impossibility of it, until she thought she might be ill. She pressed a hand to her stomach, her head bowed.

"The scent around her is unmistakable," Sesshourmaru said. "This was Naraku's doing. He sought to provoke me, using the girl to-"

"What in the seven hells do you know about Naraku?" Inuyasha broke in, baring his fangs. "And that girl has a name-"

"A name you learned only moments ago," Sesshoumaru returned. "But were you anything more than a half-breed, you'd have recognized the scent long ago. Recognized the snake that was looming just before you, coiled and waiting-"

"Stop," Kagome said, her forehead upon her knees and her chest hollowed out. "Please, stop. Kagura-sama told Sesshoumaru-sama about Naraku. I allowed her through the barrier to see him. He knows."

Inuyasha's eyes were wide with surprise as they fell upon her, Sesshoumaru's gaze as level as always. Kagome had not the energy or desire to respond, but forced herself to lift her gaze to meet the youkai's.

"Why would Naraku hurt Rin?" she said. "You and I both know enough of him to know that he does nothing without purpose. What would be the purpose behind hurting a servant and leaving her out amongst the courtiers to die?"

Sesshoumaru's expression tightened, the faintest hint of his earlier rage present in the thinning of his lips.

"Rin was not subtle in her movements," he said lowly. "She came to this Sesshoumaru not long after this Sesshoumaru was imprisoned. She wished to...be of service. She got it into her addled human mind that if she sought out the Taira, delved into their clan-"

"You sent a child into the midst of the Taira?" Kagome snapped, the rage enough to draw her up onto her feet. "You knew what they were capable of and still you-!"

"She came to me seeking salvation," Sesshoumaru said. "For herself and for those other wretches suffering in the Abe clan house. I...spoke to her of the wind witch and she-"

He went silent, his expression closing off once more, but Kagome understood somehow. In his isolation Rin had crept in, seeking after the figure on her shabby wall hanging, and in her silences he had spoken, perhaps of Kagura or perhaps of her plight. And Rin had thought to help him, to save him as she wished to be saved…

"He attacked her to test you," Kagome said softly. "To see if he could provoke you again through Rin. He has no idea you know of him, no idea of what you have told me."

Sesshoumaru said nothing, but his eyes spoke of a shared understanding. His compassion towards a servant-and a human servant at that-was yet a mystery to her, but what had happened to Rin was something the neither of them could abide any longer.

"He cannot be allowed to continue like this," Kagome said, meeting Sesshoumaru's gaze and holding it. "We were...not lucky. There is no luck to be found in any of this. But at the very least you were able to save Rin-chan's life this time, Sesshoumaru-sama. But it is only a matter of time until that will not be what happens. And the next time it could be anyone, it could be-"

She cut herself off, unwilling to speak that sort of unkindness even to Sesshoumaru. He was no fool, though. He understood well enough the power Naraku held in his hands should he truly wish to provoke him.

"And what have you done with the information that I gave to you?" Sesshoumaru said, his eyes narrowing. "What of the ships? Of Menōmaru?"

Kagome's gaze darted to Inuyasha, but she found no help there. The hanyou's gaze shifted rapidly between her and Sesshoumaru and she could almost see his thoughts churning as he attempted to make sense of the conversation. Mentally she sighed.

"We found a way to delay the ships," Kagome said, hesitant to share too much of their doings with the daiyoukai. "The hope is that it will buy us enough time to have the villagers properly trained and armed and governors installed in each province."

"The governors have already been chosen," Inuyasha said, surprising her. "They'll set out in a few days' time."

She glanced at him and found that this was addressed more to her than to Sesshoumaru. At some point since they had ceased speaking he had chosen the governors on his own. While normally such an exclusion might have rankled her pride, for the moment she found herself to be grateful for it. Whatever terms they might be on, she trusted his judgement in the matter.

The weapons and supplies were also nearly in place thanks to Kouga's efforts, though he was as careful not to say this before Sesshoumaru as she had been. All that was left was the training, which would require possibly more time than even their efforts had bought.

"It is hardly a guarantee against him," Sesshoumaru said as if he could read her thoughts.

Kagome frowned.

"And what've you to offer?" she said. "Last we spoke you were scarcely willing to share the information that you gave me about the ships."

But even as the words left her she knew that things had changed. Today had changed them. He understood something now that he had not before.

Sesshoumaru rose, sliding the sheathed Tenseiga into place at his hip. His gaze slid from Kagome to Inuyasha and for once Kagome was not hard pressed to read the expression on his face. For once the look there truly reminded her of Inuyasha.

"Naraku can no longer be allowed to do as he pleases," he said. "And if we cannot go to him, then he must be made to come to us."

---

Upon their return to the Dairi, Kagome trailed after Inuyasha without conscious thought as he made his way back to his chambers. He made no comment on this, merely holding the entryway hanging open for her to pass through.

Standing inside she paused, unease creeping through the haze of her exhaustion. Inuyasha had only come seeking after her because he thought her injured. Beyond that nothing between them was greatly altered.

But here, with the two of them alone, she could change that. Once and for all she could change that.

The question was, would she finally have the nerve to?

The feel of him suddenly at her side was almost enough to make her jump, his body close enough that she could feel the warmth coming off of his skin. She found that she could not raise her gaze from the floor.

"You're a mess," he murmured, his voice too low and too close and too much all at once. "I can call to have them get you a bath."

Kagome shook her head, even the idea of it exhausting to her.

"I'm alright," she said. "I'll simply go change clothes and rinse my hands and face off."

She turned, well aware that she was fleeing and far too tired to care.

A red-clad arm shot out to block her path. Kagome froze.

"Not yet," he said. "You can change here."

"I've not got any clothes here," Kagome said, heart sinking as she watched her one chance at escape slipping through her fingers.

For a moment he was silent. Then there was the rustling of clothing shifting and his haori was pressed into her hands.

"I cannot-"

"You've worn it before," he said. "Go change. You're not leaving before we talk."

Kagome bit her lip, accepting the garment. So he had seen through her. That meant escape was not an option. Tonight would be it.

She made her way to the folding screen in the corner of the room, slipping behind it. Her hands trembled faintly as she began to work at the tie to her hakama, loosening it enough to send it sliding to the floor. She shrugged out of her kosode, grimacing at the sight of it. She must have looked a sight, walking about the court covered in so much blood and grime.

As she slipped on the haori she heard movement from the other side of the screen. Faintly she could see Inuyasha's outline silhouetted against it and she forced herself to take a deep breath. It did little to ease the agitation that hummed through her limbs.

"You alright?" he said.

"Yes," she said instinctively, and then, looking at the blood on her hands, "No. Not really."

"Yeah," he said. "Me neither."

Kagome frowned, well aware that she was a large part of the reason why. She tied the haori closed, tugging at the knot until it was almost painfully tight.

"What happened today isn't on you, you know," Inuyasha said. "There's no point in beating yourself up over it."

A bitter laugh escaped Kagome before she could think to stifle it.

"Then who should I beat up?" she said, shaking her head. "Perhaps I did not cause it, but nothing I've done has stopped it, either. Not for the servants of the Abe clan. Not for Rin. Kami, if Sesshoumaru-sama hadn't been there, hadn't had that sword…"

"Kagome…"

Kagome's eyes fell closed, her head falling forward until her forehead came to rest against the cool silk of the screen.

"Kagome," he said again. "Listen, I...I know I fucked it up last time. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't get it. I just...I thought that you...Fuck it. What I thought doesn't mean shit now. This time I'll do it right."

He paused, and she could hear him draw in a deep breath. He shifted, and she could see the silhouette of his splayed hand pressed against the other side of the screen.

"The appointees want you to be Empress," Inuyasha said. "Some of the court want you as Empress. And some don't. But none of that shit matters, either."

The blood was rushing so loudly in Kagome's ears that she could scarcely hear him above the sound of it. Still she forced herself to be still, to wait and listen. He deserved at least that much from her.

"What matters is what you want," he continued lowly. "And what I want. And I...I want you. I want you as Empress. I want you at my side. More than anyone, you deserve it. More than anyone it should be you. And as shitty as it is, as much as I hate it, power is what these assholes know. It's what they understand. You want to really change things, you want them to respect you, to respect all of you, you take every bit of power you can get and you show them how to use it."

He paused and she could see him leaning forward, see his head falling forward against the screen much as hers had. She reached up, pressing her hand to the outline of his.

"So now it comes down to what you want," he said, the words faintly choked. "And you have to want it, too. Because it's a lot, and I get that now. I didn't have a choice, but you do and I won't take that from you, won't force you if you really don't want it. And...and if the answer's no I...I'll understand. I'll try to understand. And I'll never ask again."

He drew in a deep, shaky breath, the sound echoed by the trembling spreading through Kagome's limbs.

"So, one last time...what do you want, Kagome?"

---

Today's very mini history lesson:

-Suzaku ōji: The main avenue of the Heian-Kyō that leads directly out from the Dairi into the court.

-Pall bearers: So this I got primarily from the anime. I tried scouring for other material for what the Japanese name/function might be of these spirits who seem to manifest upon a person's death to drag them down into the underworld, but I wasn't able to find anything that really fit the anime's description so I ended up leaving it at pall bearers. If anyone knows more please feel free to send me a message!

-Yūrei: Essentially ghosts or spirits of the deceased, often ones who have been barred from passing on by some sort of violent or sudden death.

And that's all she wrote on for this one. I hope you all enjoyed it and as per always if you have any questions please feel free to send me a DM either here or on tumblr. If you did enjoy it, reviews always mean the world to me and I love hearing from you!

Also, if you happen to be looking for more ways to support or interact with me or this story, visit me on tumblr at eien-no-basho ! Any and all support there is also always greatly appreciated!