Hey guys, how are you doing? Sorry I haven't updated in a while, (*cough* *cough* a month) it just that with each chapter we are getting closer to the end and it gets harder to write each one and I have been under a lot of stress, hopefully that is all over now.
But I do realize due to the long periods of time between updates, some of you may not be as interested in this fic as you were in the beginning and that's okay, so I want to thank all of you who are still reading and are still interested and have been so supportive.
I want to say I read all of your comments and I am touched by all of your concern and all of your love for this fic, it is greatly appreciated, as well as your concern for my health, anyone who commented or DM'd me, you guys are amazing.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments series.
Recap: Isabelle is taking a Simon Lewis to the Winter dance, Alec dropped a bomb shell on Magnus saying he got a scholarship to a college in New York, Seelie has spent too long telling everyone to vote for her for Winter Dance Queen.
Clary put her long white earrings on that match her flapper dress, giving herself one last look in the mirror, her blonde hair held up as she put the final touches of lipstick on her lips. She smacked her lips for effect as she turned around happily, almost stumbling over her heels.
Ugh, Isabelle and her "No less than six inches" rule.
"Careful, you'll break a nose" Luke said grinning as he walked to the couch to sit next to her mother, popcorn in hand as Miranda attacked the bowl immediately.
"And a leg" Clary huffed to herself, "Now, Jace will be here any second, what did we agree on?"
"No snarling" Miranda said with a sigh as Clary sent her a glare.
"No recruiting" Luke said as Clary's gaze shifted to him.
"Wonderful" Clary smiled, as she sat down on the other chair in the living room, "Are you two really just going to watch a movie".
"It's not just any movie" Luke argued, "It's The Terminator".
"The ever impressive" Clary joked in a poor attempt at an Arnold Schwarzenegger's accent.
"You still need some work" Luke said.
The doorbell rung at that moment and Clary got up, only to be stopped by Luke as he said "I got it".
Clary patted her dress to dust off imaginary dust to ease her anxiety, there was no reason for her to be anxious, but she still is. She was stressing over how she looked when an arm rested on her shoulder, her mother whispered, "You look gorgeous, Clarissa".
Clary, shocked by her mother using her real name, looked up with wide eyes, taking a moment before the complement settled in her head, she smiled, "Thank you".
A sharp intake of breath snapped her gaze away from her mother as she looked back at Jace, in a tux, looking as gorgeous as ever, the black color of his outfit perfectly contrasting to his golden hair and golden eyes, a bouquet of flowers in hand, Clary had to take a moment to appreciate him.
"Wow" she heard him say.
"Wow yourself" she grinned slightly.
A big white light flashed in her eyes and she blinked irritated, shaking her head a bit as if to clear her thoughts, she looked at her mother who was using the oldest camera Clary had ever seen to take a picture of her. Sorry, the oldest camera Clary had ever seen in a few months.
"Mom, seriously, just use your phone like a normal person" Clary groaned.
Miranda took the picture out giving it a little shake in the air as she looked at it, "Are you kidding? This looks so much better".
"It really doesn't" Clary shook her head as she tried to kidnap Jace and run, but her mother stopped her, "You're not going anywhere missy, it's my daughter's first dance, I'm taking pictures, and you two are gonna like it".
"Mom" Clary groaned embarrassed.
"Come on, Clary, you don't hear Jace complaining" Miranda pointed out.
Clary turned to Jace as a last plea of help, signaling to him with her mind Say something, will you?
She knew by the look on his face before he even said anything that he would not help her, "Sorry, I've already have gone through two photoshoots today from Imogen and Maryse, you can survive one" Jace said.
"You just like getting your picture taken" Clary argued.
"It's not for me Clary, it's a public service" Jace said with mock sincerity, "Can you imagine depriving people of this?"
"Wow, how noble of you" Clary exclaimed with a deadpan tone.
"I try" Jace said grinning as he put a hand around her waist and smiled for the camera, she shook her head, giving up as she looked up, smiling as well.
"You look breathtaking, by the way" Jace whispered in her ear.
"So do you" she whispered back.
"Of course I am" Jace agreed, Clary looked at him with a mock glare, a desperate -and unsuccessful- attempt at a raised eyebrow but her smile betrayed her as he looked at her with that famous grin of his.
A bright light was flashed then, but neither paid attention as Miranda admired the photo in her hand, "They look in love" she exclaimed in a whisper to Luke.
"They look happy" Luke countered with a soft smile, Luke then interrupted as he said, "Let me take one of you and your mother".
Jace stepped back letting Miranda come into the frame as Luke snapped off pictures of them. "Jace, sweetie, could you take a picture with Luke in it".
Jace nodded, taking the camera from Luke as he got on the other side of Clary, an arm around Miranda's shoulder as Jace snapped a few pictures.
When all the pictures ceremony was done with, Miranda cleared her throat as she listed off rules for the two teenagers, "No drinking, and if by some off chance someone spiked the punch, no driving, you call an adult to pick you up, no after parties at strangers' houses and no later than 12 o'clock" Miranda said with a stern look at Clary.
"Drink anything that's offered to me and be home by morning, got it" Clary joked with a grin as she sneaked her hand into Jace's and ushered him out of the house.
"Disobey your mother and it's back to boot camp for you" Luke called after her.
"Is he joking?" Jace asked.
"Yes". I wish.
Jace stopped Clary before they got to the car, with a hand on her chin, he brought her lips up to meet his own in one exquisite movement and everything came alive in Clary, at just the hint of a touch her body shivered in anticipation, sparks erupted from his skin touching her own. The kiss was needy and desperate, the wanton in him touched her soul as she too felt her desire for him take over her senses.
Her hands clasped behind his head as her fingers twirled a strand of hair on his neck, a habit she has grown into since she started kissing Jace, and what a lovely habit that was indeed. A hand sneaked to the small of her waist as he brought her closer to him, deeper into the heat of his body, deeper into the passion of his kiss as his tongue relished the taste of her mouth.
Clary had no choice but to moan wantonly into the kiss, a fire lit at the pit of her stomach, heat pooling down as her every sense was filled with one thought, Jace. His taste, his smell, his touch, she was overwhelmed, and she wanted more.
The two only separated when the desperate need for air rendered them breathless, "If we don't get into this car now, we're never gonna get to that dance" Jace said through breathless pants.
"Isabelle would kill us both" Clary breathed out.
"Death would be too easy, she's gonna shove her heels in places I can't mention" Jace said with a shiver, shaking his head as if to will his brain to shake back to reality and think straight.
"We should go then" Clary panted.
"We should" Jace agreed, closing his eyes, taking a minute to compose himself. He opened them back again and Clary could see they were just a bit darker than their usual shade as he opened the passenger door for her.
"Thank you" she said as she got in and he quickly followed as he opened the driver door and got in, driving out of her parking lot.
Isabelle looked over the bandages wrapped around her hands, dried spots of blood turning almost brownish in color right at the center of it. With a heavy sigh, she disposed of them, slowly unwrapping them from her hands to see the crescent shaped marks of her fingers that still hadn't healed. She can't wear the bandages anymore since she won't be wearing a coat or a jacket for the most part of the dance to hide her hands in their pockets, and she doesn't want Jace or Alec to see them and wonder what is going on.
She dreaded the night to come, not only because she will have to focus on making sure no one sees her palms but also seeing Sebastian, she can't keep running away from this and even though she doesn't like it, she will have to watch him dance with whomever he brought as a date and pretend it doesn't sicken her to her stomach.
But there was a silver lining, at least she will be with Simon. For the past week, Isabelle and Simon have met everyday after school for coffee or lunch, the only time she could see him since they didn't have any mutual classes. Simon turned out to be fun, in a way she had never expected from a guy.
He was so different from all the guys she had known before, kind and sweet and very open about it. He was funny too, in a very nerdy way, he has been trying to make her watch any of the hundred movies he loves best, all of which had Star something in the title or is a superhero movie from back in the day. She was still being difficult.
She liked how he was a bit nervous around her, it's better now than the first time she met him but sometimes she looks over and catches him looking at her, to which he would blush endlessly and awkwardly.
She wondered if that is how he would treat a girlfriend-
Isabelle froze in her spot, looking up at the mirror, suddenly aware of her train of thought and the smile on her face. She shook her head as if to shake her thoughts away, No Isabelle, not this, not now.
She finished putting her lipstick on, tonight is all about being with her friends, not her complicated feelings for Sebastian and definitely not whatever it is she has for Simon which is definitely not feelings.
Just in time, as she finished, a knock came downstairs, she heard Alec shuffling to open the door and since there was no thumping sound of a fall after, she assumed it was Simon and not Magnus. Isabelle left her room as she descended the stairs with a flair for the dramatics as always, going down each step with a slow motion and a clicking of her heels, relishing in the gasp she heard.
She looked at Simon as she reached the last step and smiled cunningly, "Hi" she said softly, teasing.
"Hi.. Hello.. Uuumm, Hi Isabelle" Simon said, "You look.. beautiful".
"You don't look so bad yourself" Isabelle admitted as she took the opportunity to glance at Simon from head to toe.
"I know" Simon said with a grin, as to lighten the mood, making Isabelle chuckle.
"I guess you met my brother Alec" Isabelle said, gesturing to Alec who was looking at the door, "Who is currently drilling a hole in our door trying to make his date show up with his mind".
"Yes" Alec only said without removing his eyes from the door.
"Relax Alec" Isabelle said, "Magnus will show up any minute".
"I know, that I why I need to take him and go as soon as he does" Alec said, "You know mom's here".
"She'll be nice" Isabelle said.
"You don't know that" Alec argued.
"I know she has been trying very hard to be more open about it" Isabelle said, "She's been nice lately".
"That's what worries me" Alec said, "What if it is just repressing?"
"You mean pent up homophobia?" Isabelle said with a deadpan tone and a raised questioning unimpressed eyebrow, "I'm sure that's not it".
Alec sighed defeatedly, "Maybe you're right".
Isabelle noticed Simon didn't comment on that part and wondered what he is thinking. She was interrupted from her thoughts by a knock on the door, Magnus opened the door without a proper invitation as he has done a million times before and grinned wickedly as he saw Alec, "Well hello there".
"Magnus"
"Alexander"
"Oh good, you're all here" Maryse's voice came from behind them as they all turned around to face her and Robert coming through the door to the kitchen, "Let me take a picture of all of you kids".
Magnus looked at Alec with a worried look, who just shrugged, signaling he has no idea either.
"Who's that?" Magnus asked, gesturing to Simon.
"Isabelle's date" Alec answered.
"But I thought.." Magnus started then quieted down.
"You thought what?" Alec asked.
"Never mind" Magnus shrugged as he looked back at Maryse, his camera smile on his face as Maryse and Robert started taking photos of the group on their phones. Plenty of photos were taken of every couple and the four as a group, as well as a family photo, in which, in a few years when Alec would look back at it, he would remember whispering 'Thank you' to his mom.
"I only wish if Jace was here with his date too" Maryse said.
"Yes, but he did promise to get some pictures back to us so it's not all bad" Robert said.
"Yes, have fun, all of you" Maryse said, as Isabelle took her jacket and put it on her forearm, "But not too much fun".
"Bye mom" Alec said as he closed the door behind all of them, they all headed out with Alec in his car as previously agreed upon since Simon didn't have a car and it would be pointless to take two cars from the Lightwood's house to the school when one could seat all four.
Magnus obviously took it upon himself to be the DJ of the car ride as he and Isabelle sang loudly and quite badly to every song while Alec pretended to focus on the road and Simon pretended not to be shocked to his very core by the bad performance.
As the car parked into the school parking lot, Alec and Simon couldn't get out of that car fast enough, only for the sound of Isabelle and Magnus' collective vocals to be drowned out by the heavy beat coming from the school, some 2000's song was playing as they all headed inside.
"Don't forget to vote" a cheerful Seelie greeted them by the entrance as they disposed of their jackets on the coat racks.
"Vote for wh-"
"Shsh" Isabelle cut Simon off as she dragged him by the elbow away from Seelie, "Are you crazy? Do not, I repeat do not speak to Seelie about the voting. She will explain, and it will never end".
"Well how am I supposed to know what to vote for then?" Simon asked.
"It's like a pre prom King and Queen thing" Isabelle said.
"But it's not prom" Simon said confused.
"Exactly, but whoever wins is most likely to win the prom titles" Isabelle said.
"Aren't you signing up for it?" Simon asked.
"Why would I?" Isabelle asked.
"Because you could win in a heartbeat" Simon answered as if it was the most natural thing ever. If he got it right, which he is pretty sure he does, this vote is about who is most liked, which from just hanging out with Isabelle for one week, he knows no one could beat her, not to mention she was the most beautiful girl here.
Isabelle just shrugged as if she hadn't given it much thought before, her eyes scanned the floor for a moment before she said, "Oh I see my friends, do you want to get some drinks and meet them?"
"Yeah, I'll get us some drinks and meet you there" Simon nodded as Isabelle flaunted towards four people standing together on the other side of the room, one was dark skinned and with a set of wild curls, a man with long hair on her side with his arm around her shoulders, a man with what he could only describe as a golden head of hair and a blonde whose face was facing the other side so he couldn't see her.
He shrugged as he found the bowl of drinks, pouring two cups, tasting his own first to make sure there is no taste of alcohol in it, nodding when he was successful as he went back to where he saw Isabelle headed. He stopped next to her offering her a drink as he looked back at the only couple now standing before him.
"Thank you. Simon this is Maia and Jordan" Isabelle said, as she took a sip from her drink "Guys, this is Simon".
"Nice to meet you" Simon said as he shook hands with each at a time.
"You just missed my brother and his date, they headed out to the dance floor" Isabelle added and Simon nodded, assuming her brother was the golden headed boy who was just here before and his date the blonde, "That's okay the night is young".
"It is" Maia said, "And I plan to dance until I drop".
"Or until teachers kick us out?" Isabelle offered.
"Whichever comes first" Maia said.
"Well then, how about a dance?" Jordan asked Maia, as he extended a hand for her.
"I'd love to" Maia giggled, taking his hand as they headed to the dance floor, throwing a "It was nice to meet you" behind her back.
"They seem nice" Simon said.
"They are" Isabelle agreed, gulping down her drink, "Dance?"
Simon nodded at her offer as they both started to dance.
Clary danced away to the beat, not giving a care to the world around her, everything was irrelevant except for her and Jace, she could not see the sweating bodies around her jumping up and down to the fast paced beat, nor could she hear the DJs words, all she could hear was the music, all she could feel was Jace's touch on her waist as they moved to the beat, granted she was by no means a good dancer, but Jace made her forget all about that, since he was good at it, as he was annoyingly good at everything, it seems.
"You're beautiful when you're smiling" Jace yelled in her ear which was barely heard over the thumping of the music.
"I smile when I'm with you" she yelled back happily, she hadn't noticed she was smiling, but then again she had caught herself many times lately smiling whenever she was with Jace or thinking of him. It was kinda crazy to think a few months ago she didn't know who he was and now he was such an integral part of her life.
Jace said nothing to that but she could feel him perk up at the compliment, with his arms around her waist he lifted her up and dipped her then pulling her back up and dipping her again to the other side, she chuckled wildly at that as he put her back on her feet and they both continued to shake to the music.
Simon was dancing better than he thought he would be. He was only swinging from side to side while Isabelle made them look a million times better with her dancing but he was impressed with himself nonetheless. When all of a sudden, Isabelle stiffened, her movements slowed and her eyes seemed distracted, looking at something behind him. She covered it up quickly as she got back to her groove but Simon had noticed it, and now he was itching to turn around and see what made Isabelle flinch like that.
The two had continued dancing for a while when suddenly the music changed and it was now a softer song, a slow one, he offered his hand to Isabelle and she took it with no hesitation, her arms wrapped behind his neck as his wrapped around the small of her waist and the two just swirled around. He tried to read her, to see what was wrong but she had a smile on her face as if there was nothing.
"Are you okay?" Simon asked concerned.
"Of course, why do you ask?" Isabelle wondered with an innocent tone.
Simon shrugged, not really having an answer because what could he say? 'I feel like you feel bad?' That doesn't sound like it would go well.
While the smile on Isabelle's face left no room for questions, her mind was racing with them. Questions like 'Who is that girl that Sebastian is dancing with?', 'Why does she care?', 'Why does it feel like her stomach is being pulled out from throat at the sight of it?' or 'Why does it hurt so much?'
She desperately needed a cigarette, she caught herself pressing her fingernails to her palms and stopped immediately, she has no bandages, she needs to be more careful, she looked at her palms discreetly and noticed one of the marks was opening up again, she cursed in her head but kept a smile as she pulled back from Simon, "I need to powder my nose" she said with a sheepish look.
"Okay yeah sure" Simon nodded as she walked away.
Isabelle immediately entered the bathroom and washed her hands, keeping her cut under the water and putting pressure on it. Come on Isabelle, pull yourself together. You're a Lightwood, this is beneath you. She sighed heavily as she dried her hands, making sure the cut wasn't bleeding again and went back to the dance to find Simon.
She kept repeating to herself that she can't do this forever, she needs to be over this, and she needs to be over this now.
Sadly, it doesn't work that way.
"Hey" Maia said sheepishly as she leaned against the wall next to her best friend slash possibly ex best friend, crossing her arms over her chest and giving a sort of friendly smile.
"Hey" Aline said, for lack of a better response.
"I saw that you came here with the Blackthorn Twins" Maia said, trying for friendly conversation.
"I came with Helen, Mark is accompanying" Aline answered.
"Oh" Maia said.
"Yeah, oh" Aline repeated as the awkward silence ensued again.
"Are you two..?" Maia tried the waters.
"It's really none of your business, is it not?" Aline answered back harshly.
Maia was taken aback but she didn't let the surprise or disappointment show on her face as she nodded, "I suppose it isn't".
Aline took a glance at the girl she considered her best friend since forever now, the girl she had once entrusted all her secrets to, the girl she could once say she loved, maybe before she even knew what love was. She looked at her now with a different glance, with a longing, but not the one she thought she would have. Maybe it was the distance, maybe it was time, maybe it was getting rejected that finally flipped the switch inside of her, maybe it was all of that and more. She thought as she looked back at her date then back at Maia again.
She sighed a bit, hesitantly as she said, "It's nothing official yet but.."
Maia suddenly perked up, "That's great, as long as she makes you happy".
"She does" Aline nodded with a smile she desperately tried to hide.
"So what's the setback?" Maia asked.
"We're taking it slow, taking our time" Aline said, "We have all the time in the world".
"That's good" Maia smiled happily.
"So where's your shadow?"
"He's not my-"
"I know" Aline rolled her eyes laughing and Maia allowed a chuckle.
"He's getting us drinks" Maia said, "Or at least he is pretending to while he gives me enough time to talk to you".
"That's nice of him" Aline said and if Maia was taken aback by Aline saying something nice about Jordan, she didn't mention it or show it, she just hummed agreeably. "I should get back, Helen would be looking for me", Aline said.
"Oh yeah, of course" Maia said with a nod.
Aline stopped, "But celebratory dinner tomorrow?"
"But that's for winning races?" Maia asked surprised and a bit hopeful.
"I think we can make an exception, don't you?" Aline asked.
"It's a deal, just you and me" Maia said with a smile.
"Maybe you could bring Jordan too" Aline suggested, Maia searched her features for a moment, wondering if this was an empty gesture or not.
"Only if you bring Helen too" Maia responded, and by the smile on Aline's face she realized she said the right thing.
"It's a deal" Aline said as she walked away, back to the dance and back to her date.
Jordan suddenly appeared by her side, two drinks in hand, her wide smile wasn't enough to alarm him before she jumped on him, her arms wrapping around his shoulders as she kissed him deeply. They would later realize he dropped their drinks in favor of wrapping his arms around her waist and bringing her up to meet his height.
"What was that for?" Jordan asked once the two separated, "Not that I am complaining".
"Everything is just going right for once" Maia said, "And I'm happy".
"I'm glad you are happy" Jordan said with a smile.
"Good, now since you enjoy making me happy" Maia started.
"That's not what I said but I digress" Jordan said teasingly.
"We're going to dinner tomorrow night with Aline and Helen" Maia said with pleading eyes.
"So I can hear more yelling but this time in front of a stranger too?" Jordan asked.
"No, no more yelling, I promise?" Maia pleaded.
Jordan sighed as he looked at her, "I can't say no to you. Sure".
"Thank you" Maia said as she pulled him into another kiss and again he gave no complaints.
Isabelle bumped into someone on her way, "Sorry" she said as she turned around, only to be met with a set of familiar eyes. Her heart beat sped up a million times faster, her breathing hitched as an overwhelming wave of emotion she couldn't decipher crashed over her. Was it longing? Was it hurt? Or was it the emotion she was most terrified of?
"I'm starting to think this is personal" Sebastian said jokingly, but his tone was awfully quiet and timid.
"It isn't" Isabelle simply said, as she started to head out.
"Can I just ask?" Sebastian said.
"I feel like whatever you're about to ask, this is neither the time nor place for it" Isabelle said as she looked back from the secluded hallway to the dance floor's doors or rather, the gym's doors.
"Why this guy? Why Raphael? Why Meliorn?" Sebastian asked, "Why everyone else?"
"I don't understand the question" Isabelle said as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Why did you give a chance to every guy but never me?" Sebastian asked, his eyes showed the hurt in them and it touched Isabelle, she couldn't look at the hurt in them but she couldn't look away either, something inside of her was knotting and turning, it felt awful.
She could have lied a million lies again, but was it really worth it? He could always see right through her lies. She couldn't deal with this, she needed a cigarette first, "I don't have an answer for you" she said as she went to turn around.
"You're gonna have to give me one if you want these back" Sebastian said behind her back.
She turned around slowly to see her packet of cigarette in his hand as well as her pink lighter with her initials on it.
"You do know stealing is wrong, right?" Isabelle said, not giving him the satisfaction to look sheepish.
"I do, that's why I will give them back" Sebastian said, "Provided you tell me the truth".
"What good will it do if you know?" Isabelle asked, shaking her head.
"I just want to know why I never had a chance" Sebastian said with pleading eyes.
"You know why-"
"If you give me the 'It would ruin our friendship' crap one more time-"
"It's the truth" Isabelle cut him off, her tone sounding angry.
"No, it's not" Sebastian argued, his tone getting higher as well.
"Fine, I was scared, are you happy now?" Isabelle screamed out.
"Of what?" Sebastian was screaming now as well.
"You know of what" Isabelle yelled, "You know exactly why, why do you need me to say it?"
"I want you to say that you had so little faith in me that you thought I would hurt you" Sebastian said finally, it seemed like hearing those words would set him free.
"Isn't that what happened?" Isabelle argued.
Sebastian took a deep breath, and spoke calmly, "Stop trying to turn the situation around, Iz, you know that is not what happened".
Isabelle sighed, "What I know is I mess up when I'm around you. I don't want to keep messing up".
"So that's it then?" Sebastian asked, "It's over before it even began?"
Isabelle nodded, licking her lips, "I guess it is".
"Isabelle, I don't want to lose you" Sebastian said finally swallowing his pride.
Isabelle sucked in a deep breath, not giving in, even if his words, knowing she was hurting him was killing her inside, she said emotionlessly, "I need my cigarettes back".
Sebastian took a deep breath, anger was clear in his eyes, he took her hand in his, making shivers run up her spine from where he touched it, and without looking away from her eyes put the cigarette pack and lighter in her hand, a little harsher than need be, as he said "You should really clean that wound better".
He walked away then, leaving Isabelle to collect herself alone, she walked out of the hallway and out of the school to have a quick smoke before she was ready to see Simon again. She wasn't even going to question how Sebastian knew she needed bandages, it seemed when it comes to her, he always does.
Magnus was having a blast as he danced and talked to everyone, he was always the more sociable one between the couple, and Alec didn't mind, he liked that his boyfriend was so outgoing and friendly to everyone but he needed to talk to him now so when the music slowed down to a slow beat, he offered Magnus a dance.
"Just can't have enough of me, can you?" Magnus joked.
"Never" Alec replied with a grin.
"Good because I don't plan to let you go anytime soon" Magnus said as the both swayed to the music.
Alec stiffened at that, Magnus noticed and immediately said "I didn't mean it like that".
"It's okay" Alec shrugged.
"It's not okay, I didn't mean to say I was not okay with the college in New York thing" Magnus said.
"It's not like you would tell me if you weren't" Alec said under his breath.
"This again?" Magnus sighed.
"No, no" Alec argued, "For this to be 'this again', one would have had to have this conversation at least once".
"What do you want me to say, Alexander?" Magnus wondered.
"Anything" Alec said, "Anything better than avoiding it completely".
"I am not avoiding it" Magnus defended.
"We haven't talked about this ever since I brought it up last week" Alec argued.
"What is there to talk about? You got a scholarship to a college in New York which you are obviously taking" Magnus said.
"I am still thinking about it" Alec said.
"What?" Magnus asked, confused.
"I still haven't decided on anything" Alec said.
"It's a great honor to even get accepted, let alone with a full scholarship" Magnus said as if the issue was simple.
"It is, but it's not that easy" Alec said.
"Why not?"
"I don't want to be away from my family, my life, you" Alec said, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting all the emotion leave him with it.
"I know" Magnus said, "But I don't know what to do Alec".
"What do you mean?" Alec asked.
"I mean, I'm just speaking realistically here, long distance relationships never work, and I don't want the distance between us to drive our hate to love, I've seen it happen before" Magnus said with a shake of his head as he looked away from Alec, "I don't want to grow to hate you".
"We would never have that" Alec said determinately.
"You don't know that" Magnus said.
"I do"
"No, you don't" Magnus argued.
A silence ensued over the two, uncomfortable as the two swayed to the music, before Alec got the courage to ask, "Then what now?"
Magnus shook his head with a sigh, "This is exactly why I didn't want to have this conversation".
"What now?" Alec repeated his question, worriedly, anxiousness written all over his features.
"Now? We dance, we laugh, we go on dates, we savor every moment we can" Magnus said with a heavy sigh, he wanted to live in the moment with Alec, if they could not have the future, could they not have today and tomorrow instead? Alec wouldn't have to leave for a few months, maybe they can keep seeing each other for the time.
"Attention people, we now have the results for the Winter Dance King and Queen" Miss Lilith said as she got on stage, Mr. Starkweather behind her, seemingly not caring for the whole thing but he was holding the king's crown as Madam Dorothea held the Queen's.
"Did you guys vote?" Jace asked as he appeared by the two, Clary by his side.
"No, you?" Alec asked.
"No" Jace answered back as he waved Aline and Maia over, each with their respective dates. He couldn't find Isabelle and her date but he saw Sebastian so he waved him over.
"The Winter Dance King is.. Jace Herondale" Miss Lilith said as she started clapping and all soon followed.
"I didn't know you signed up?" Clary whispered.
"I didn't" Jace whispered back as he got up smiling and accepted the crown from Mr. Starkweather which looked stupid because it was plastic and it was the same color as his hair.
"And your Winter Dance Queen is... Seelie Queen" she clapped and others joined in as Seelie pretended to be shocked.
"And now for the Winter Dance King and Queen to take their first dance" Miss Lilith said.
"I didn't know they were supposed to dance" Clary whispered to her side.
"Jealous?" Alec asked.
"As if" Clary scuffed.
"You sound jealous" Alec said teasingly.
"But I am not though" Clary insisted as she saw the two join the dance floor and begin to dance with the spotlight on them as the rest of the lights dimmed.
"I would be, just saying" Isabelle said as she reached Clary, "Oh by the way Clary this is my date Simon, Simon this is Clary".
"Hi" Clary started to say as she looked to her side but then immediately stopped, frozen in her place, her shoulders stiffened, a cold numbing feeling pressed against every cell in her body as her stomach dropped, her throat tightened. She couldn't believe what she was seeing in front of her.
No, it couldn't be, it's the dim lights, she's probably not seeing right, because she was obviously not seeing him in front of her. There was no way he could be here.
Her eyes scanned him to look for any clue, for a hint, maybe a different colored eyes or something that would prove this wasn't him in front of her.
But she didn't find anything, he looked the same as she last saw him, or however she imagined he would look like in this age, but he was still the same, the same brown eyes and dark brown hair, the same Simon who was her best friend.
She shook her head, no it's not true it couldn't be, Simon was dead. He was dead, dead, dead. It was just a coincidence, it had to be, probably because they had the same name. Yes, that's it, it had to be.
She gulped as she mumbled a 'Sorry, Excuse me' and walked away towards the exit, she focused on the doors and trying to get to them but they were spinning, matter of fact the whole room was spinning, the tightening in her chest made it difficult to edge forward, but she needed to.
She fell against the heavy doors, dropping all of her weight on them as she felt it around for a handle, trying to blink her eyes open and close again, to see better but the room kept spinning and she was losing more and more breath by the second, she was gasping for air as she found the handle and opened it quickly and shutting the door behind her.
She wobbled as she tried to walk in the empty hallway, why was it spinning? Was she dreaming? That's it she must be dreaming. Dreaming of Simon again, her best friend because he obviously wasn't here, he was dead, she knows he is dead. She thought as she gasped for breaths that she couldn't find fast enough, dead, dead, dead.
Her mind wandered back to a living room, her father proudly sitting on the couch, as he said he killed her friend, she shook her head but it only made her dizzier and she fell, face first against something metal and cold, lockers. Another image crossed her mind, this time of Luke, kneeling beside her saying "I'm sorry Clarissa, we couldn't save Simon in time".
No, she breathed out heavily as she held onto the lockers to keep her up but it wasn't enough, no. She was lightheaded, her throat ached as she desperately needed air but there wasn't enough, there wasn't any. Her vision blurs and spins as she feels her anxiety rising with every second.
She fell to her knees and she curled up, holding her legs against her chest as she muttered to herself, "It's not real, he's dead, this is just a dream, just a dream, just a dream".
She shook her head again as the images of her best friend and all they ever shared flashed through her head like a movie, walks to school and playground games in the sand. He's dead, he has to be.
She rocked back and forth as she tried to calm herself, she hadn't had a panic attack in years, she tried to remember the methods but they all slipped from her mind. It's just a dream, he's not real, he's dead.
Deep breaths, Clarissa. She thought to herself. He's dead.
She took deep breaths as she tried to focus on the windows outside, the moon. Why was the moon spinning?
She took more deep breaths as she thought of happy things, happy things like coffee with her mother in the morning and training sessions with Luke. Her mother and Luke who told her Simon was dead and he is, he has to be.
It's not working, she realized panic stricken and it only pushed her away further, suffocated her more.
She thought of other things that make her happy, Jace teaching her how to drive, having lunch with her friends, Jace holding her, the club and seeing her friends race and gamble, Jace telling her she looks beautiful when she smiles.
Suddenly the moon was slowing its spinning, she focused harder on the moon as she thought of Jace, the room stopped spinning as finally her deep breaths got air into her lungs, she breathed in the air greedily as she thought of Jace, you make me smile.
It was gonna be okay, it was gonna be okay, it was gonna be okay. She thought to herself as she relaxed slightly, she was still on edge because of what happened but her panic attack subsided.
The door opened behind her and it was him, she couldn't believe it, he was really here now, "You're her. Aren't you?"
She said nothing as she stood to her feet, leaning against the lockers to make sure she doesn't fall again.
"Aren't you? You're Clarissa Morgenstern" Simon said, "The hair is different but I would still know you anywhere".
"Simon?" she asked, herself or him, she wasn't sure as she got closer to him, she leaned her weight against his shoulders as she tapped his face, moving it around and feeling its features.
"It's me, Clarissa" Simon said.
"Simon" Clary breathed out as her vision blurred again, this time with tears as the urge to cry was overwhelming, she closed them and breathed slowly, only opening them again when she was sure she wouldn't cry, "Simon" she said again before she finally wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in for a hug.
His arms wrapped around her back as well as he held her closer to him, almost afraid to let her go. She buried her head in his neck and him in her wig as the two hugged like they hadn't seen each other for years, because they hadn't, because it was worse than that, it was hell. It was hell thinking your best friend was dead for all these years.
But now.. now it wasn't.
A/N: Hey guys, hope you liked this. If you did, follow, fav and review and I'd love to see you in the next chapter.
Btw, I have been getting questions on if they are human in this fic and the answer is yes, everyone is human, any and all mentions of 'wolf-hearing' or vampire stuff is purely for entertainment reasons and as a sort of 'wink-wink' to the reader and I hope you guys enjoy it.