A little honeymoon sexy silly for our fav couple.

This would be set around Season 8 when they were super cute and sweet for the first few episodes.

The Joy of Sex.

Sitting on the sofa I watch my new bride pulling item after item out of her suitcase. There's dresses, shirts, underwear, the usual kind of luggage for a honeymoon in Tahiti. And then there's the bathing suits - a plethora of colors and shapes one or two of which appear to be the skimpiest things she could find.

The clothing goes into drawers, dresses hang next to two suits I've brought that are also in the closet. She pulls out a thin white box staring at it with the utmost curiosity only to laugh at the content. "Oh God."

"What's so funny? What is that?"

It's a book, she shows me, raising it up high enough for me to see. I squint to try to read the title which Mac lists off between fits of giggles. "The Joy of Sex, a Gourmet Guide to Love Making."

"The Joy of what?" Sex? Did she say 'sex' and 'gourmet'? What the hell?

"It's The Joy of Sex!" Each word she punctuates, using a tone that makes me feel like an idiot. Clearly this is something I should know by the way she stares at me expectantly with raised brows and a cute smile.

Her brows raise farther when I give her a blank stare and Mac throws her arms up in exasperation. "Don't tell me you've never heard of it."

"Nope."

Mac starts to leaf through the book making faces at what, I can only imagine. "I guess you can say it's the 'modern-ish' version of the Kamastura. Visual representations of different sexual positions lovers can try." She stops flipping through pages and I see a blush creep up her neck. "Uh, well… as modern as the early 1970s can be. This needs an update."

She begins flipping through pages again and then stops to glare at me. "You do know what the Kamasutra is, right?"

"Yeah, Mac. I'm not a complete idiot." My experience with the Kamasutra is somewhat limited to a Cuban flight attendant that I once dated. She was flexible, I was not and our 'Sutra' ended with back pain and a pulled groin.

Not to say that we didn't have some fun, there were a few positions that were delightful and I wouldn't mind engaging in with my wife. Most of the others were absolutely ridiculous and impossible to enjoy without a potential trip to the ER. Hospital stays have a way to ruin sensual and sexy encounters unless Mac wants to live out my fantasies of her in a Nurse costume.

"Did you buy that?" And if she did, was it because our lovemaking was boring? I find we're pretty darn hot together but maybe that was one-sided? As a man my ability to get hot and bothered is relatively easy, women need that slow burn although from Mac's physical responses to me, I think I can get her off quite quickly. What if she's faking it? I frown and find myself folding my arms across my chest.

Mac drops the book next to me, forces open my arms and sits on my lap. I like when she does that, especially when her back side rubs against me as it does now. "Nope. I didn't buy it. I think we're pretty damned good at the whole love making thing without needing a manual."

I cringe, maybe even blush a little. If she didn't buy it then it was a gift and I can't imagine who would ever think we needed such a thing. Mac once called me a prude and in some aspects, she was damned right. I like sex, I love it and think I'm pretty good at it but some things in life are meant to be private and… "Was that a wedding present?"

She's taken the book and is leafing through it again, clearly not affected that someone could have gifted us a sex manual. "Mmm." A pose catches her eye and she holds it up to show me an explicit illustration of a couple with so much hair on there umm...particulars it's clearly not from this century. "Think your back could handle this one?"

I can't help but blush more from the thought of someone encroaching on our sex life than the image of a man standing, the woman's legs wrapped around his waist while just her shoulders are on some hard surface. "Uh, yeah… I can do that." I grab the book, toss it on the coffee table much to Mac's chagrin but there are other subjects at hand. "Mac, who… umm… who gifted that?"

She smiles. "Your mom."

If I though I was blushing before, I can feel it creep up my neck and burning my cheeks this time. There's a chill running up my spine, my eyebrows hit my hairline and I suddenly want to bury myself so far in the sand outside and never come out again. "My...my mother? No."

"Yes."

I look at the book and cringe. "No. No way… that's impossible." She wouldn't! She couldn't! And my embarrassment hits a whole new level when Mac stands, heads across the room and hands me the gift card. 'Enjoy - Love Mom and Frank.' Oh for the love of all things that are holy. Frank? She put Frank's name on the card too? I'm no longer sure I can look at my parents the same way again after this. "I'm almost forty and she still has a way of putting me to shame."

Mac giggles. "I think it's rather cute that she concerns herself with that kinda stuff. And there's more."

Ugh, I place my head in my hand covering my eyes at what she could possibly be digging out of her suitcase now. Frank gave me the birds and the bees speech ages ago and reiterated it before I joined the Academy to make sure I didn't ruin my future knocking up some random girl. I am far from that eighteen year old plebe, have had enough experiences to know how to treat a woman.

"Harm?" From between my fingers I pop open one eye and then another. "I think you'll like this wedding present."

My mouth falls open. When the hell Mac changed into that little number I'm not sure and any mortified thoughts of my mother concerning herself with our sex life ceases instantly. I may want to thank her now, even if it's still a little embarrassing that she bought...ummm...that...for my wife. "From your expression, you may want to thank her."

A turquoise colored scrap of fabric hangs with spaghetti straps off her shoulders and comes down high up on her thigh. It's see-through and Mac isn't wearing a bra. Beneath the hem I faintly see a matching pair of panties, the front with barely enough fabric to cover her with the tiniest of strings that ride high up on her hips and disappear somewhere behind. "Yeah, I think I may want to thank her." After I ask her, nicely, not to meddle.

My wife straddles my legs and my hands instantly come up to her bare six, biting back a groan as I caress that smooth skin. I should have married her eight years ago right there in the middle of the Arizona desert between Declaration stealing uncles and ichnites and inept spies. Her hands come up to my face, thumbs brushing over the five-o'clock shadow that dusts my skin. "I love you." Mac declares and her lips come down on mine, slow and sweet.

We eventually make love on the big bed with the sea air rustling the curtains and our bodies deliciously intertwined. She's everything I ever wanted, a gift I almost lost and it's hours later when we sit in bed feeding each other fresh fruit when Mac is leafing through that stupid book again ear marking certain positions she finds interesting. She feeds me a piece of pineapple, licks the juice from my lips and grins. "Keep your strength up, sailor...it's gonna be a long night."

She taps a page with her finger and I stare down at the image, the woman's backside is towards the man's front while she straddles his legs. Mmmm… Maybe...maybe, this once I'll be the grateful son and simply thank my mother. "Think you can handle this one?"

Mac's eyebrows hit her hairline, it certainly is one of the more bendy kinda positions but then her lips spread in a sexy grin. "I'm pretty flexible."

"I think I just fell in love with you all over again." I pull her so that she's on top, groaning while she sheaths herself completely over my body. "Gently, Marine… we have all week."

"And it'll never be enough." No it won't. I'll never get enough of her.