'Let the human in.'
Of Monsters and Men
Human
.
Life came to a strange crossroad the night Bella took off with Alice.
Bella had left me to clean up her mess and deliver the bad news to Charlie without as much as a script for what to say. 'Hey, Uncle Charlie? Yeah, your daughter just ran off to a foreign country to save her undead lover from committing suicide which was brought on from the guilt of thinking he caused her to jump off a cliff, which is kind of true. It might be a major case of codependency, but who are we to judge?' Instead, I settled for telling him only half the truth, that Alice Cullen showed up and Bella went with her to see Edward, who was beating himself up for leaving her. Charlie was beyond pissed, but my sheer panic seemed to calm him, oddly enough. He was more concerned about my concern. I chalked it up to Edward just not being right for her, and that it upset me. It wasn't as though I could explain to my uncle that Edward was a vampire, Jacob was a shape shifter, and I was a witch that could be slaughtered by either of them for simply existing, should they find out.
Uncle Charlie had sent me to my room after I broke the news. I had passed out on the bed, without even changing, to the sound of Charlie yelling on the phone with Renee. I didn't blame either of them, and I didn't envy the position Bella would be in when she returned. If she returned from a trip with vampires. Sleep was short lived, and I tried to sneak back down because I was dying of thirst. My feet carried me in a sneaking posture as I tip-toed down the last step and turned for the kitchen.
"Valerie?" Charlie's voice came from the living room.
Damn. I thought maybe he was asleep in the chair. I pivoted back. "Oh, hi. I was just getting some water – "
"You don't have to sneak," his raspy voice cracked. There had been so much more screaming that I missed. The stresses of the day warranted his need for the beer in his hand.
"I didn't want to wake you."
"Heh. Not sure I'll be sleeping much." Charlie scratched the back of his head. "Listen, Val, I'm sorry I sent you to your room. I needed to call Renee and I – "
"It's okay!" I waved my hands. "Really, I understand. You don't have to explain. I didn't take it personally."
"So, uh." His tone was strained. "What did you do with your night?"
"Oh, nothing," I shook my head. "Nothing important."
"Come on," he said with a pull from his beer can. "I could use the distraction."
"Uncle Charlie," I started, pausing for longer than I intended. So long, in fact, that Charlie actually looked up from his beer can with a straining concern creased into his brow. I sucked my lips in and bit down for a moment. "Do you know who Andrea was?"
His forehead twitched before relaxing. He cast a somber stare at me. "Andrea. Where did you pick that up from?"
My head shook, bringing some of my hair forward. "I was able to open up that trunk in the attic. I just saw her name and pictures in some of Gran's stuff. It looked like they were pretty close, but she kind of vanished from everything real suddenly. I was just wondering if you knew anything."
Charlie sighed. He set down his beer on the coffee table and dragged his hands over his face, leaving his fingers templed in front of his nose for a moment while he thought of what to say. "So, you got that old thing to crack. Is that where you got your mom's old jacket?"
I looked down at myself, having completely forgot that I was even wearing it. I didn't bother changing before what could only be considered a nap. My fingers brushed on the smooth leather. So, it was Mom's jacket.
"Haven't seen that thing since…"
My eyes left the jacket and tried to find Charlie's, but he wasn't looking directly at me. "Since when? Did something happen?"
He sighed heavily through his nose, like he was trying to expel the stress I was causing. Maybe asking him this after his friend just died and his daughter ran off wasn't fair. He wanted a distraction. I guess I was providing it.
"It was never a secret that Amy was adopted. We always knew that, but the details weren't talked about." Charlie huffed a little. "Mom, she would get so jumpy about it, always saying that one family's unfortunate accident is what created our wonderful family. It always bugged Amy, though. She would talk to me about it, but never Mom.
"One day, I convinced her to ask about it. I told her if she wanted to know, she had to man up. I think we were about 15 when Mom finally told Amy that her birth parents were killed by some wild animal that was starved during the winter on the other side of the state."
Charlie stopped. His brain was working something out. He huffed again as I hung on his every word and movement. I needed to know this version of the story. I needed to know what the rest of the world thought was the truth.
"Weird. Even with the animal attacks in the last few years, I never thought about this." He took another drink. "It tore Amy up, but she was strong. She always was. Like you. Things were okay after that, but tense between her and Mom. It was weird because of how close they were otherwise. Sometimes, I swear, they had their own secret language.
"Things really came to surface years later when your mom and dad met in college," Charlie sat back in his chair, growing comfortable in his story. "To Dad and I, Rick was great, perfect, but not in the obnoxious way. Perfect for Amy. But Mom, she had her own thoughts. For some reason, she thought Rick was a terrible idea. Amy was home from college on Christmas break and I heard yelling coming from her bedroom. It wasn't hard since we shared a wall. They were arguing about Rick's family. I remember Mom saying something like about them being too open with their practice. Religion or something, though I never got that vibe from them. Something being dangerous, and Mom called Amy 'Andrea'.
"That's the day we found out the truth. Amy's birth mother had been Mom's best friend. Why she had acted like it was such a terrible thing to reveal was beyond me. Still is." Charlie rubbed his forehead. "Amy and Mom weren't the same after that. Amy left, and that jacket was one of the only things she forgot to take with her and refused to come back for it. She stayed in Spokane for a while after graduation and then traveled, spending more time with Rick's family. Mom and Amy didn't talk for a year at least, till your parents got married."
"Mom didn't have a relationship with Gran for that long?"
"Not much of one. Everything returned to normal when your parents moved back to Forks and had you and Sawyer." My uncle chuckled a bit, rimmed with a hint of sadness. "Mom's dementia started to set in right before you were born. When you came along, she… she called you Amy a lot at the end. So keen on protecting you. She stopped writing in her journals, stopped adding pictures to the albums. We had to do it for her to help the memories as best we could. It wasn't long before she fell asleep one night and never woke up."
"I wish I remembered her," I said softly.
"She loved you a lot, kid. So, you saw pictures of Andrea?" Charlie asked with intrigue.
"Y-yeah," I nodded. "Maybe I can show you a picture some time." Of course, after removing it from the album full of weird notes.
Charlie smiled sleepily. "That would be nice, actually. You're alright, though? This doesn't freak you out?"
Oh, yes. "Not really," I lied. The truth was I was pissed that my own mother lied to me after everything that Grandma Helen did to her. It was hypocritical, and yet I couldn't bring myself to blame her. Can you be mad at the dead? At least now, I knew the much more realistic 'truth' from Charlie. That would help me explain it to anyone else if it ever came up.
My uncle watched me curiously. His eyes shifted to the clock on the fireplace mantle. "Gosh, we should try to get some sleep, huh?"
So, we did. Or… tried.
…
The following morning, tension hung in the air so thickly that breathing felt like a chore. Between Charlie and myself, there was a deafening silence as we both tried to figure out what to do. Panic and anger seemed like the thing to do, but there was literally nothing we could do about Bella now. The only logical thing was to distract ourselves. It was Friday and Charlie had taken off work to help Sue Clearwater, originally. After staring aimlessly at the dining room table, picking at the crust of my toast while Charlie meticulously cleaned his gun all morning, my uncle sighed.
"I should really be headed to the Clearwater's," Charlie glanced at his watch. "Told Billy I'd meet him there at ten o'clock."
"Okay." I bobbed my head, still avoiding eye contact.
"Do you, uh," he too was trying not to look directly at me, but his voice dripped with concern. After last night, he didn't want to leave me alone. "Do you want to come with me? I understand if you don't, but –"
"Is there something I can do to help?" I asked, grateful at the prospect of focusing on something else.
Charlie smiled at me for the first time since the previous night. It was gentle and full of gratitude. "I'm sure we can find something for you to help with. Thanks, kid."
I returned a small, forced smile that lasted only a second. "I guess I better go shower, then."
Not even the scalding water pelting my back could rid my mind of the many freshly learned truths that I begged to forget for just ten minutes of peace. By the time I got out of the shower, the mirror had fogged over with thick steam. Through it, I could see that my skin had turned a bright shade of red, almost matching the color of the towel tightly wrapped around my body. I realized in that moment that I hadn't looked at a mirror since the previous morning. When the mist vanished from the glass, what would be left? What would I see staring back at me in the mirror? To everyone else, I was still human. But I knew something about myself that could completely change my outlook. Pale fingers brushed at the edge of the mirror as I gazed in hesitation. Would I see me, or would I see a monster? My hand flattened and dragged across the smooth, wet surface to reveal my furrowed face. The blue eyes looking back at me were misted over, and it took me a moment to realize that what I thought were drips of condensation on the glass were just the reflection of my tears.
I wasn't a monster, but I wasn't me either.
I was nothing but someone very lost in a new, dark world.
…
I slugged down the steps about 15 minutes later dressed in dark jeans and a black long sleeve shirt. For a short moment of contemplation, I considered wearing black pants, but opted to not after feeling too much like a funeral before the actual funeral. In the closet at the bottom of the stairs hung my jacket, which I grabbed quickly before going up to Charlie who was still at the dining table.
Charlie looked from his rifle to me. "Ready?"
I nodded. "How long do you suppose we'll be there?"
"Just till everything is in place for the funeral. We don't want to linger in their space too much. Sue and the kids need some time." He froze for a second, looking at the gun again. "Everyone grieves in their own way." When Charlie spoke, it was as though he was coming to a slow realization himself. He didn't speak for several seconds.
"Uncle Charlie?"
"You wanna stop somewhere before we come back home tonight?" he asked.
"Um, sure," I replied a little surprised.
In a swift motion, Charlie grabbed the rifle off the table and handed it to me before grabbing a large box of ammunition. "Alright, let's go."
…
We arrived to the Clearwater's house in the squad car a little early. Charlie let himself into the house without knocking and I awkwardly followed. Seth was in the kitchen, looking taller from the last time I had seen him. He was standing at the sink with a glass of water looking solemn, but upon hearing us enter he put on a halfhearted smile. Seth's pain still leaked through.
"Hi, Charlie, Valerie." Seth pivoted to face us. "Thanks for coming. Mom's just," he bit his bottom lip, "she's just laying down. I'll go tell her you're here."
"Seth," I called before he could fully turn around. Moving quickly, I walked toward him and pulled him into a tight hug. We didn't know each other well, but I knew how it felt to lose a parent. I knew that sometimes having someone to hold you tightly was the only thing to keep you from falling apart. His arms were immediately around me in return. "I'm so sorry, Seth," I whispered as we continued to hug tightly.
"Thank you," he whispered back.
It was only as we started to pull away that I realized how warm Seth felt. My brain started to turn as the sound of the door opening again flooded into priority. Billy rolled into the kitchen, which made my brow scrunch in thought. Harry's house didn't have a ramp, and I didn't hear Charlie go to help him in. A few strides behind Billy followed Jacob. His glance fell to me for a moment before jumping to Seth. There wasn't a word spoken between the two as they closed the gap to each other. Jacob pulled Seth into a protective hug like a brother. After all, Jacob knew the sting of losing a parent, too.
Sue entered the kitchen just as the two boys pulled apart. She hugged all of us, but her arms were weak, like she was barely awake. From then on it was the grown ups sitting at the table talking about flowers, suites, gathering locations, and health insurance. Jacob, Seth, and I sat in the living room, mindlessly watching reruns of 'Monk' on the TV. At some point I glanced at my cellphone. 11:30. My lack of eating breakfast was catching up to me. After making a quick dodge to the Clearwaters' bathroom I wandered into the kitchen.
"Hey, Valerie," Billy forced his warm smile.
"How's it going in there?" asked Charlie as I leaned on his chair.
"Quiet, so about as expected. Seth fell asleep in the big chair," I said.
"That was Dad's chair," a raw throated female voice came from behind me. Before I could turn to see who, Sue was jumping up from her chair with tears in her eyes and sobs erupting from her chest.
"Leah! Oh, Leah!" Sue exclaimed as she gripped her daughter in a tight embrace.
The last time I had seen Leah she was a skinny limp noodle. She had since acquired some very lean muscle. She was wearing loose fitting sweatpants and a too-large shirt. She looked like she had slept in the woods, her long hair in complete disarray.
My eyes widened against my will. I hated what I was thinking, considering that girl had just lost her father, but the last time I saw someone go through a dramatic metamorphosis and look like a mess it was because they had started turning into a giant wolf.
Was Leah a shapeshifter, too?
"Leah!" Seth bolted through the kitchen to his sister.
No one seemed to question where Leah had been, not even Charlie who simply moved on to the point of lunch and what we would have.
"We don't have anything here," said Sue. "We could order from the Marina Dock Café."
"I can run for it," Jacob said as he joined in the kitchen, giving a curt nod to Leah as she continued to hug her brother, the both of them crying.
"Thank you, Jacob," Sue smiled before ushering her children into the living room for a more private conversation.
"Valerie, go with Jacob." Charlie looked at me pleadingly as he dug in his wallet for a wad of cash. "Get an assortment of stuff. Don't worry about cost."
"Charlie, I –"
"Sounds good. Thanks, Charlie." Jacob cut in before I could protest. "Come on, Val."
Jacob hastened out the door with his keys jingling slightly in the pocket of his black leather jacket. I was hesitant to follow but knew I didn't have a choice with the others around to question me. It wasn't that there was a fear of him, it was merely the idea of having to face him after everything. Would he have questions for me? Was I even ready to talk about any of it? God knows I had questions for him about his situation. There was a part of me that worried he would remember that I was trying to tell him something. Telling Jacob…might not have been an option anymore. Besides, he left me there alone the previous night. As I forced my feet through the door, closing it behind me, I looked at Jacob's back, his broad shoulders looking heavier than usual as his head hung.
"Jake?" I paused on the deck before slowly walking towards him and his little faded-red car.
Jacob turned toward me slowly. "Valerie, I'm –"
"Let's get going," I dodged around him to get into the passenger seat, silently buckling in. I hadn't realized I was mad until I sat there waiting for him to get in.
The ride was awkwardly silent for the first two minutes of the drive. It wouldn't take more than five minutes total to get to the restaurant, but it was starting to feel like the longest five minutes of my life. My gaze was fixated out the window into the woods that flashed by.
"Valerie, are you okay?" Jacob spoke up again.
I huffed, fogging the glass a bit. "I'm fine."
"Don't do that." Jacob's voice was irritated and it drew me to crank my head in his direction. He was gripping his steering wheel tightly, only letting go to change gears. "Last night wasn't… we should talk about it."
'Oh, now you feel like talking,' I thought to myself, turning back to the cool window pane. 'Last night you didn't care about talking even when I was begging you to stay.'
Jacob didn't push me, to my surprise. He probably thought I was still in shock, which was partially true. The other part was seething anger for him ditching me. Did I have a right to be this angry with him? It's not like I went reaching out to him after finding out about his truth, his shifting. The difference was that at the time I could still convince myself that I was insane. Every time I had even considered confronting Jacob, he was off with Bella, who kept telling me to stay away from the situation. Some cousin, keeping me from a secret I had already glimpsed and she knew it. Bella never listened unless it benefited herself. Maybe she was the one to be angry with.
We made it to the café quickly. It was an old, wooden warehouse built on a dock that jutted out into the marina. In terms of warehouses, it was probably small, but it made for a large, white and blue restaurant for the town. Sea mist that had gathered on the gabled roof and was dripping, hitting the surrounding wooden dock with a pitter-patter to accompany the sound of seagulls. Usually, being near the water made me calm. Today, being in such an open area made me uncomfortable, paranoid.
Inside, the structure combined rustic and industrial. The walls were lined with a variety of booths and tables, the perfect spot for someone who wanted to look out at the view of the river mouth meeting the ocean. In the center was a bar that had strings of bulb lights suspended above. Behind it was a mixture of coffee's, teas, cappuccino and espresso machines, and merchandise bearing the name and logo of the place.
"Hey there," said a middle-aged woman with silver flecked black hair coming out of the kitchen behind the bar. She wiped her hands on a towel. "You two feel free to sit anywhere you like, yeah?"
"Actually, we'll be placing some to go orders, if that's okay." Jacob placed his hands on the counter.
"Absolutely!" The woman bore a name tag that read Cori. "Here, have some menu's. Take a minute to look it over. I'll be back to take the order for you."
"Thanks," said Jacob as he sat on one of the stools. "What do you think, Val? Some burgers and sandwiches? Maybe a few appetizers, too."
"Yeah," I bobbed. "Sounds good."
After mulling over some details, Cori came back to take our order. Before walking to a booth by the window to wait, we each ordered a drink, Jacob a coffee and I some tea. We sat quietly as the sun tried to break through the clouds, casting a blinding light on the waters below. It was quiet the change from the morning drizzle. I looked down into my cup of tea, brushing my cold fingertips on the warm porcelain.
"Valerie, about last night…" Jacob started before trailing off.
"We really don't have to say anything."
"Val, please –"
"Jake," I squeezed my eyes shut. "I really don't want to do this right now. Today isn't about us."
Silence filled the remaining time that we spent waiting for the order to come out. Even on the drive back we were quiet. Jacob didn't try to bother me for the rest of the day.
…
"Hey," Charlie tapped me on the shoulder. I was sitting on the couch and looked up at him. He looked exhausted. "Ready?"
Nodding, I stood and followed him out the door. Saying goodbye wasn't really necessary since everyone was excruciatingly tired and lost in their own thoughts. The house was full of dark shadows as the sun lowered in the sky, setting behind a thicker layer of clouds. As Charlie and I walked through the door and hopped into the squad my uncle cleared his throat a few times. He started the car and slowly pulled onto the road.
"Thank you for coming today."
I turned to him quickly. "You don't have to thank me for that."
Charlie coughed. "Well, still."
"Are we still making that stop you were talking about?" I asked.
"Yeah," Charlie scratched his head. "Just, uh, make me a promise not to tell your aunt. I get the feeling she wouldn't approve."
"What exactly are we doing?"
…
The rifle rang with a resounding bang in the small clearing as Charlie clapped me on the shoulder. I sighed as I lowered the gun.
"Alright! You're getting closer," said Charlie.
"Then why am I not even close to hitting the can?"
Charlie took the gun in his hand and helped me line up again, pressing the butt of the rifle to my shoulder. "You'll get it. Here. Now line up down the sights like you did before. This time I want you to take a deep breath and then exhale slowly. While you're exhaling, pull the trigger slowly. Okay?"
I nodded as my uncle stepped back. My lungs filled with a deep breath while I stared down the barrel, eyeing the can sitting on a log in the distance. When I exhaled, the trigger squeezed easily under the light pressure of my finger. The gun kicked back against me as a high-pitched tinging sound echoed back to me.
"What did I tell you?" Charlie said as I gawked at the can that was now on its side, rolling off the log.
"I did it? I did it!" I set the gun down on the picnic table and ran forward to get the can, holding it above my head triumphantly. "I can't believe it."
"With a little bit of practice, you could be the next Annie Oakley," my uncle said as he grabbed the gun and then wrapped his other arm around me. "What do you say we head home?"
"Thanks for this, Uncle Charlie." I leaned into him, still holding the can as we walked slowly back to the car. "This was fun."
"I thought we could both use something to take our mind off of things." Charlie stopped near the car and squeezed me tighter to him. "I'm, um… I'm really glad you're here, Valerie."
Talking about feelings wasn't Charlie's strong point, and I knew that. I turned to fully hug him, refusing to let him go. I had my own shit stirring in my head, but so did Charlie. His best friend had died and his daughter ran away without explanation. The least I could do is be there for him. Besides, the moment made me feel more… human.I heard him sniffle as we split apart.
"Hey, Uncle Charlie," I started. "Do you think you could help me get some of Mom's stuff from the attic into my car?"
.
Authors Note: Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed some nice Uncle/Niece time between Val and Charlie! Thank you again for all the support.