Owyn Lyons was, luckily for Talia, unfamiliar with Christmas. And so he spent a few moments asking his subordinates for context on Talia's summary of her own unexpected return from the compromised Vault 87 mission. In these moments Talia realised she would be wise to let Sarah do the talking. She wanted to hole up in his fortress until she heard from Burke after all. Sarah shielded her from his immediate questions about the mission and the Enclave until after she had seen the doctor and, at Talia's request, had a bath. She needed to soak off a few days of blood, mud and soot. Plus, it would be amazing.
And it was, until she got out. The Citadel had some intact mirrors and she finally saw the extent of her fights with Dean. Just bruises the Citadel's robot medic had determined. Some sore muscles, cuts, her knife scar, but nothing broken, no internal damage. Probably.
She was enjoying the feel of a fresh set of clothes as she headed back to the bunk room, where her few belongings had remained where she left them. She found Sarah bundling everything up in a blanket.
"Hey! I meant to tell you… me and my father have been talking while you were gone." She set the bundle down and beckoned Talia closer. "The Pride and I have decided that after all you've survived, you've done enough to become an honorary member."
Talia stopped towelling her hair. "Of the Lyons' Pride?"
"Yeah! Welcome to the team."
"Oh…! Um… do I have to do anything?"
"What? Well… it's an honorary position, so... I guess not…"
"Okay! Wow, thanks." She went back to towelling her hair.
"You're welcome… well, it comes with some privileges, the first of which is that you don't stay in this shitty bunk room. You're staying in the Den. Come on."
Sarah led her to the Pride's private accommodation where they had their own kitchen and lounge area adjacent to their sleeping quarters. They were the elite of the Citadel and as such could personalise their space much more than the rest of the ranks. But despite the large collections of personal items the military tidiness remained; being the elite, they had more weapons, a wider range of tasks to do, and less notice in which to do them, so the place allowed them to gear up and move out at the drop of a hat. It had the feel of a working home away from home, sort of like the Jefferson Memorial. Except this was their home.
"Second privilege," Sarah continued as she deposited Talia's things on a bunk in the corner, "you get some of our power armour. You want the full suit or the Recon armour? You know all about the full suit now. The Recon is lightweight, better than just a vest, more mobile, more coverage. It's actually under armour for the full suit, but it offers good protection on its own."
"Oh man, is that why it was so uncomfortable in that thing?"
"Yeah, probably. It will protect you from heat, moving parts, impacts with the outer suit, all that shit. I still can't believe you walked here in that Enclave stuff by the way. It takes Initiates days to get even remotely mobile in training."
"Well, I've had enough of that, so I'll take the Recon suit. Thanks."
"Okay, one gimp suit comin' up. Well, this is you. I'll get some water boiling- you have to finish telling me everything. Oh, and you have a few letters. Don't wanna miss those."
"I do?" Talia rummaged urgently through the pile of things on her new bed, finding two sealed envelopes addressed to her at the Citadel in a familiar, attractive script. She squealed and made space to sit on the bed by shoving everything to the floor.
"Now why did you just make that noise?" Sarah enquired from the kitchen.
"I wrote to Burke, I think they're from him! But why are there two? Fuck, what's happened?"
Sarah returned and sat next to her. "Chill out, girl. Just open them. After what you told me about the two of you, I bet it's all good."
Talia took a shaky breath. "Okay, let's do this."
Dogmeat joined them on the bunk for whatever was going on, forcing Sarah to budge along until she was shoulder to shoulder with Talia. She was glad to feel somebody there. She couldn't help but worry why he'd sent two messages.
"The fuck's goin' on in here?" Knight Captain Dusk entered the room and gestured at the crowded bunk.
"She's reading mail from her man," Sarah informed quietly.
Talia shook her head and elbowed Sarah without lifting her eyes.
"Sorry, just a man, not her man."
"Whose man did what?" Paladin Glade asked, following Dusk into the room.
"The Vault chick's got some waster on the outside," said Dusk.
"No she doesn't, apparently," Sarah corrected.
"No? I bet she does," Glade countered.
"Yeah? Fifty caps you're wrong," Dusk challenged.
"You're on." The two Pride soldiers took a seat on their bunks and watched Taila read until she revealed more.
Sarah looked at them hopelessly. "You guys need to get a hobby."
Talia shook Sarah's arm. "What do you think this means?" A weight she'd forgotten was there had lifted. She was practically giddy. He wasn't still angry. In fact he missed her.
Sarah studied the letter Talia was holding in front of her. "'The things I have realised in your absence…' Well, what's the context?"
"Well- oh just read it. And what's 'things in motion'? Are they related? Or is he saying-"
"Is he always this cryptic?" Sarah grumbled after scanning the full thing.
"...Yeah. But I think he's not explaining on purpose. In case it gets us unwanted attention." Things in motion. Still, he said not to worry, so she stopped.
"Well I don't know him. But I'd say it means he's realised he fucked up and now he wants some o' this unbeatable, uncageable, Enclave-slaying ass." Sarah nudged her suggestively, grinning like a Cheshire cat at her Pride.
Talia blushed, Glade cheered, and Dusk handed over her caps.
She shouldn't get too excited. She ripped open the second envelope and read privately.
My dearest Talia,
Her heart fluttered. Sarah may be right.
I write with the faith you will soon be delivered safe and well from the Enclave's custody. I have been working to this end ever since I learned you were taken. I know you have not given up and it is my hope you read this soon should I not secure your return personally. Should this be the case, find enclosed details on how to contact me directly.
Soon we will be together once again.
Yours truly,
Burke
She lingered on the discovery that he had been trying to rescue her. Clarence had only been sent out to keep tabs on her, and grateful as she was for his help, it was only his unique perseverance that meant he was there after things went south. But this meant that she wasn't alone in Raven Rock. Her only ally hadn't been just Fawkes, temporary in his aid while he took care of his own karma.
Burke's confidence in her was poignant. He wasn't one for empty words. She swallowed a lump in her throat and breathed deeply as all her aches and anxieties were drowned out by pride in proving him right. In the joy of being believed in. The way he wrote was as if he was speaking to her before she escaped. Though she was free, somehow it soothed the despair she remembered feeling at the time.
"Good news?" Sarah gently nudged her arm.
"Great news," she croaked, looking for the contact information he also sent. "Oh shit, he's in Rivet City! That's so close! Can we- how do we get a letter sent?" He had reminded her to stay put.
"I'll get it done. Dusk, make some drinks willya? Tali, you tell this guy to come get you right now, but be quick because I need to hear what you did after the self destruct started. You cannot leave me hanging there."
Clarence enjoyed a meal and half a bottle of a crisp white in The Weatherly. He would celebrate properly when he arrived home, but he always treated himself as soon as a contract was wrapped up. Nothing wild. But the champagne behind the bar was eyeing him, and his bonus was burning a hole in his pocket.
When he'd arrived, as usual he first read up on recent events in the city. There were a handful of public terminals that allowed Rivet City residents access to a message board and news bulletins. Well, there was a reason he always used them before making any other moves. He saw a photograph of his own employer with the head of security, the headline stating that he had filled the seat of absent council member Madison Li. No need to find a courier.
It turned out this was a very personal job, and Mr. Burke was very pleased to hear that Clarence had not only maintained his tail on the girl but ensured she was waiting for him in a secure location. He paid a generous bonus. But Clarence was more intrigued by the unfamiliar shade of gratitude he saw on the businessman's usually unreadable face.
This job had been built on good intentions. Nice change. And doubly so since he had helped bring about the resolution his employer really wanted. Maybe he would buy the champagne. He had another course and a hotel room to enjoy gratis after all. Perks of having a friend on the council.
Despite being billeted with the Elder's daughter, Talia was blissfully cocooned away from any talk of current events. If Sarah had ordered it she didn't say, and Talia just enjoyed the feel of a warm, dry bed, occasionally rereading Burke's letters while the Pride chatted general shit.
"All I'm sayin' is if power armour jumps weren't banned, I think the Washington Monument record could easily be beaten."
"Well no shit. If you jump out of a Vertibird, you can beat any record by flying up another inch. No one gives a shit. You gotta find a building that people know is higher. Higher by a lot."
"Do we even know that record is true? I'd test it out first."
"I almost did when I was fitting that damn satellite dish. Nearly fell out the fucking viewing platform."
"What was banned?" Talia asked.
"Power armour absorbs a lot of impact. So we can just drop out of Vertibirds or make a quick exit from a roof. No injury, no damage. To a point. Some Knights want to know where that point is. The DC record is the Monument, but Elder Lyons banned it years ago since some people were sustaining damage."
Sarah cut in with a pointed look. "And since we're on our own we can't afford to fuck up our gear chasing jump records."
"Of course, Boss. This is purely an academic discussion."
"Good." Sarah turned toward a meek knock at the door. An Initiate was quaking at the threshold, holding out a letter at arm's length. "Well Initiate, who is it for?"
"Er- the, er-"
"Er, give it here." She stood and took it from the Initiate's trembling fingers. "Now get out of here, you know Initiates aren't allowed in the Den!"
"Yes Sentinel! Sorry!"
Sarah delivered the note to Talia while the others laughed. "You're popular."
She'd only been here half a day, could it be...? Talia ripped it open without a word. Clarence, what an angel. Clarence had found Burke in person, saving a day or two of letters bouncing around.
She hopped from her bed and beckoned Sarah into the kitchen. "It's Burke! He knows I'm here. He's coming over tonight. Is there any way he'd be allowed in?"
"Can he fix our giant robot? If not, I doubt it. My father would have to approve it and he still wants a full debrief. I doubt he'd approve personal visits even if he knew him."
"Then I have to go to him." Talia lowered her voice to a whisper. "He says to meet him by the bridge you can see from the gate, and to try not to be seen…"
Sarah looked on her ruefully. "I shouldn't allow that…"
"Shouldn't… but you will... because you're the best Sentinel ever and you really like your Enclave power armour…"
Sarah cradled her temples with her fingers.
"I'm going anyway," Talia said quietly. "I'm not a prisoner. You're not going to stop me are you?"
Sarah sighed. "No, I'm not… I'm also not going to let you go to such a clandestine thing alone. How many people want you dead exactly? God damn, there's sneaking around the empty billets and there's this. Ugh. Stop smiling. This is very bad... I can get you past the gate no questions asked. You'll have a little while until someone comes asking for you. First thing in the morning I imagine."
"Thank you."
"If you don't come back I'm saying you threatened me. I'm not losing rank. People will believe it."
"They will not believe some wastelander threatened the famous Sentinel Lyons and walked away."
"Damn it. You're right."
Talia peered out from the gap between her scarf and the hood of the borrowed Scribe's robe as Sarah walked her to the bridge. The Order of the Sword escorting the Order of the Quill to a task in the field. Not unusual, probably not very interesting to any watching eyes. At least she hoped so.
It wasn't far. The Enclave had set up a twenty foot force field on top of it, a cool blue beacon guiding the way. The bridge's base, before the ground gave way to the river, was hollowed out. She could see the stars through the large stone arches that were built into each side. Burke must be sheltered inside.
Sarah whispered to her left. "I think we're good. Nobody out here. That sentrybot has a long range in clear weather. I'll tell the guard to check it out if there's any movement out here."
"Thanks."
"Hey- there's nothing dodgy going on here right? Everything's okay?"
"Yeah, I'm just nervous."
"Huh. Strange what makes us nervous isn't it? Okay, I'm coming right up there with you to be sure, then I'll leave you."
"I'll be fine. Dogmeat will check it out."
"Hmm. Well, you call me if he is not a gentleman. I'll teach him a lesson."
"Ha! I don't even know who would win that fight."
A figure appeared in one of the archways, nothing more than a silhouette as the flicker of firelight lit the space behind. Talia's heart raced and she grabbed Sarah by the arm. "That's him." She studied the silhouette even though she knew she was right. She felt Sarah's hand on her own. Prizing her fingers off her sleeve. "Oh- sorry."
"No problem," Sarah said unusually softly. "Go on, then."
Talia left Sarah watching for trouble while Dogmeat scouted ahead. She saw him change from wary guard dog to ecstatic furball yet again when he caught a scent on the wind. She tried to keep an even pace but found herself breaking into a stiff attempt at a run for the last several feet.
She stepped onto the ledge, first peering around the inner space to confirm there was no one else. No one but Dogmeat and Burke, who was trying to free himself from the dog's boisterous greeting. The sight warmed her heart just as it had during Dogmeat's short time in the tower.
She stepped down into the stone recess and waited, pulling her scarf down from her face now she was out of the open. Burke looked well. He looked better than she remembered. Maybe it was the firelight or the dark knit sweater that made him look warmer, fuller. He rose and faced her with impatient eyes. Eyes she couldn't meet.
"You made it," he stated, and she wasn't sure if he meant the trip to the bridge or generally.
She sheltered beneath the Scribe hood, focussing on his ever smart shoes. His trousers looked warm and hung perfectly. He always had the best things, despite not living a sheltered life at all. He'd taught her the importance of appearances. She must look a mess.
She tensed up as he approached, but he leant around her to peer outside. "Who's your friend?"
"Oh- Sarah. Brotherhood of Steel."
"Can she be trusted?"
"Yes. Why, what's going on?"
He stepped back from the arch, beckoning her to do the same. "I'll explain later. For now, we should be undisturbed. What is this?" He pinched the hood between a finger and thumb.
"Oh. Um. Disguise." She teased some hair over her eye before unrobing- literally. She dropped the heavy crimson Scribe garb unceremoniously to the ground. Cults wore robes. Cults and… monks.
"There you are… It's- so good to see you well. I knew this moment would come."
Did he? How could he have any idea? She chewed her lip as Burke apparently busied himself just observing her existence. She lifted a shoulder. "Mm, merry Christmas."
He checked his watch and she could hear the smile in his voice. "It certainly is."
She swallowed a lump in her throat and skirted away from his twitching hand, exploring the bridge hideout. A firepit in the centre of the floor, it had been swept clear of rubble and dust and furnished with some storage crates, basic furniture, and blankets. "So, why are you living under a bridge?" she called back, crossing into the far half of the bifurcated underpass.
Burke tutted, following, while Dogmeat conducted his own investigations. "I do not live here. This is a half-decent camp for the use of travellers. I slipped out of Rivet City to meet you close to the Citadel. I know they won't let me in."
"No… So what are you doing in Rivet City? And who is Mr. Miller?" She hopped up onto the ledge that overlooked the river, noting a stony, rubbly beach twenty or thirty feet straight below.
"We have plenty of time to discuss everything, but Talia-"
She gasped as she felt his hand encircle her wrist. She looked round at his fingers. They were guiding her back inside, away from the ledge. She let them, and awaited the rest of his thought.
"-Are you alright?"
Such a simple question. And yet no one had asked, jumping instead to her wounds or the question of how she returned. She shrugged out a dubious breath. "I'll survive."
"You always do… but, please, do me the courtesy of answering my question." He did not speak harshly but was firm. His fingers moved up and swept away the hair she had been keeping in front of the worst side of her face. "He told me about this, you don't need to hide it."
She finally looked into his face. Whereas others showed shock or pity on seeing the physical evidence of her trials, he was angry. But he was clearly trying to keep himself calm for the moment, and she loved him for it. She cleared her throat. "Well… honestly, I've been better."
He gave her a look that said that would do for now.
"But I'm here," she added more positively, raising the corner of her mouth apologetically.
"Yes." The vengeance brewing in his eyes vanished in a blink and he returned the gesture. "I'm glad you agreed to go with Clarence. He's got sense. That's why I pay him."
"Yeah, I figured. I nearly shot him in the head, you know."
"Really? He didn't tell me that."
"Kind of embarrassing for him."
"Not at all. It sounds like you're a credit to Gustavo and I."
"I'm a walking disaster zone."
"You don't really believe that?"
Didn't she? No, if she was honest, she didn't. Not in the sense that she was fucking things up for all and sundry by accident. Not anymore. She'd left Tenpenny Tower thinking Burke and Gustavo had mistook her for something she wasn't. But the only thing mismatched was their motivations. She'd had plenty of motivation over the past week to justify doing things they'd done a thousand times over.
If she was honest, none of it was an accident.
"It was a good thing you did at the police station," Burke ventured.
"I know," she answered quickly. He blinked at that. "The world is better off without mutants. The dumb ones at least."
"You, er, haven't joined this lot have you?" Burke nodded back toward the Citadel.
"God, no. But-" Of course, he didn't know how the mutants reproduced. "I'll explain later."
"I see. So..."
"So."
"...I like your hair like this."
Talia frowned softly and played unconsciously with the braid. "My hair?"
"Yes. It's very pretty."
"Um, thanks. It just keeps it out of the way, you know…"
"...Ahem, what say we answer some of your questions."
Burke gestured for them to sit down by the fire, wincing as she went ahead of him. He had thought a lot about how he was going to deal with this meeting. Not that he had had long to prepare, which could explain what just happened. This must be what most people called 'nerves'. It was wreaking havoc with his sensibilities. He'd known he would have to get a grip of himself; Clarence had hinted at what Talia had been through and he couldn't necessarily expect her to be calm, so it would be more important than ever that he was.
But now he had had time to process how exceptionally guarded she was being, it was clear he had to approach this carefully. Much as he wanted to grab her and learn how those pretty lips felt against his, she'd only just looked at him.
What had happened in the last week?
Patience. She had as many questions for him, which he answered in detail. She hung on his every word, unusually quiet, allowing him to recount the fortnight she'd been gone however he saw fit. He worried at first. Her timidity. The lack of curious interruptions. Where was his girl? But as the fire gradually warmed their bones, her disposition softened the more he talked. His words or his presence, he sensed she was soaking it up. He knew what it was like to lose time in the real world while your own ticks away in chains. She needed to feel present before anything else. She'd unwind in due course.
And as she told him her tale, he fell similarly quiet. It started with news of her father's death, his hand forced by the Enclave, but a suicide nonetheless. She recalled the events with shaky resolve, but didn't want to go any further. She'd talked a lot in captivity, she said. He was doing what he thought best, though the reasons still escaped her.
She held herself together well as she told him of everything else he didn't know. It bothered him. He couldn't fathom why. She was strong. Nonetheless, he let her finish, then needled for the details. Perhaps she'd censored herself since escaping, or she was still speaking carefully, but he coaxed her to open up. She needn't hold back with him.
She was smart, resilient. Trusted her instinct. Bold enough to take action when needed, wise enough to wait. He was truly impressed. And yet she lapped up his reassurances that she'd done everything right. Of course she had, she was free and alive. There was no other way to score it.
"It's so straightforward for you isn't it?" Talia pondered Burke's logic.
"Every person, every creature has to put itself first, Tali, or else what is left? There would be nothing, no continuity, no order."
"But at what cost?"
"Any."
He was completely serious. Talia shifted from the crate she was using as a seat to sit on the ground directly by the fire. "And what if you're not worth that?"
The flames reflected in Burke's pupils, dancing wildly. "Who tells us our worth? Only ourselves."
"But how can someone say they should live over a hundred others? A thousand?"
"They don't. They simply do it. The ones who don't just value themselves lower."
"No… no, they must know it's wrong on some level."
"They're crippled by honour or, more commonly, cowardice, Tali. They draw their line at what they think they're worth. What is the value of anything? It's what someone will pay, nothing more."
Talia played with the cuff of her sweater. She didn't feel like an egomaniac. But who else could rack up the bill she had?
"You don't think you should have left your fate to your captors, do you? You kept your mind on freedom and took an opportunity when it arose."
"No but- and anyway it was an accident-"
"A fortuitous one. And the radio is praising the event. This world doesn't value everyone the same, there's no use in worrying what it says about you today."
Talia frowned. Three Dog had done nothing but call her an evil bitch. But Raven Rock, though she had no idea how many people escaped, was something to celebrate? "Everyone's got their agenda, huh?"
"Precisely. Yours has simply been to stay alive. There's nothing wrong with that."
"And why is that so difficult for me?" she rasped into her palms.
Burke smiled softly. "You have the arguably poor fortune of being associated with an ambitious man. Ambition gains attention."
She stared at him blankly. He was really big headed sometimes.
"Your father," he added, waiting for recognition from her.
"Ooh. Man, I know, Autumn thought I was chief engineer or something. Dad was the brains of it." Her eyes lost focus as she gazed into the fire, remembering Doctor Li and her team hanging on James' every word. In awe as he sketched up his work from memory. A project they could only dream about, until he walked through their door offering them a shot at glory.
She ought to be proud. And she was, somewhere. But it hurt too much that he ran like he did first. And she didn't live up to that James. That's why his sacrifice didn't make sense.
"But- but my dad… He wasn't either of those. He was trying to save us. Or- he thought there was something worth protecting."
"And it was worth more than the people who would otherwise benefit from the purifier, wasn't it? And it was worth leaving the Vault for." Talia shot Burke a wary look. He shrugged subtly. "Don't look for noble deeds where there are none. The world is simpler than that."
Heat flooded Talia's cheeks. She jabbed her finger toward Burke accusingly. "No, you didn't know him Burke. That's not fair. You never knew him."
Burke looked taken aback, which she found odd in itself. He raised his hands in apology. Another first. "I overstepped."
"You did," she said coldly, turning back to the fire and sinking into silence.
Minutes passed.
"You're right though." The words left her like the last air in a balloon. "He put his project first and left us to face the consequences, or he convinced himself there wouldn't be any. You're wrong about why though."
Burke said nothing, accepting her judgement on the matter.
"I just don't want to cause such a catastrophe everywhere I go. Is that so much to ask?"
Burke smiled. "It isn't. You can have any life you want, my dear girl. You just tell me."
"But it is." She crawled over to her bag and dug around in it until she found what she was looking for. She shuffled back on a hand and knees, stopping next to the crate on which Burke sat. She raised her arm in front of him, brandishing the glass vial forced into her possession by Eden. "This is it. This is the next one. And I'll get all the blame."
"What is it?" he asked, taking it from her and turning it over in his hands.
"It's the modified FEV Eden gave me. Be careful. It's meant to wipe out anything touched by radiation."
Burke stopped twirling the vial and looked at her like she had just spat in his soup. "Why in god's name have you given it to me?!"
"I thought you might know what to do with it."
"I thought you left it in the base!"
"No. I thought it might get crushed and do its thing somehow. I don't know how they work."
"That makes me feel much better."
"Relax, it's fine, it's been in my bag this whole time."
"I don't even know what to say to that."
"It's supposed to plug into the purifier, see. It's not going to leak." She pointed out the fabricated end cap designed to lock with something in the control room.
Burke sighed in wonderment. "The Brotherhood might be able to deal with this…"
"If you think that's best."
"Perhaps. Though, you know..." It didn't take long for his brain to conspire, whatever the circumstances. "You've just handed me a very powerful bargaining chip. Nobody else has this kind of capability."
"But it needs the purifier."
"But nobody else knows that." He raised his eyebrows conspiratorially. "Nor do we. It might be just as deadly dumped into a river."
"Burke- you're not serious?"
"I'm seriously curious."
"But, it would kill you. Unless- don't tell me you're from a Vault?"
Burke scoffed. "No. I climbed my way out of a regular old wasteland shanty town. Unlike some people."
"I'm actually not from a Vault."
"You just lived in one since you were three days old."
"Same thing."
"Eden seemed to think you'd be immune to this."
"He also thought he was an old baseball fan named John. I'll pass on finding out, thanks."
Burke smirked at her, and she bit back a smile of her own.
"Why don't you put this back where you've kept it so safely til now. I'll think on it."
She took the vial back and reburied it in her pack. "I guess I could just keep it safe. That would be a good deed on its own right? We put it in a safe, or bury it in a lead box or something?"
"You could."
She shuffled back to her spot, slightly closer to Burke than before. "I don't know. I don't want to think."
She felt his fingers gently brush an errant strand of hair behind her ear. "Then don't."
She shook away a shiver with a small scoff. "How can I? You said there's some trouble..." She turned to face him. "Why are we sneaking around? Who are we hiding from?"
Burke looked on her warmly. If she didn't know any better she would say sympathetically. "There is… a situation. But we are safe here tonight."
"A situation?"
He considered her for several seconds before answering. "You deserve a night off. I can fill you in later."
He wasn't asking, but he waited for a response. She ought to find out. She'd come this far. She needed to know the lay of the land since her escape. Be thorough. But somehow since getting here her fraught nerves had downed tools and gone on vacation. And boy did they need it.
Burke was still looking at her with this unfamiliar expression. It was comforting, like the emptiness of the Vault's reactor level when she wanted to avoid James or the Overseer, or the embrace of her duvet after a horrible day.
"A night off sounds good."
"Good."
She lingered in his gaze a while longer. Apparently everything was still quite fucked, but it was starting to feel like it would be okay anyway. She was happy to relinquish responsibility to Burke. Nobody but him.
Only then did she feel a blush rising in her cheeks. She wanted to feel his touch again, but she couldn't just ask him to stroke her hair. Although, it had been a long week.
"Do you… want a drink?"
He eyed her curiously as she returned to her pack. "I'm not sure I want anything else from your bag."
But she pulled out a bottle of whisky. "I borrowed it from the Den. I don't know if it's any good."
"Let me see… hmm, not awful. Not nice enough for them to miss."
"I don't care. Someone in there owes me something." She unscrewed the cap and sniffed the neck of the bottle. "Hm. Might be better to do shots." She grabbed her steel mug and laid it on the crate she had been sitting on, dragging it between them like a table.
"Take it easy, Tali."
"I'm just saying, it's not for sipping. Okay, here, you pour." She gestured for him to take the bottle and sat back on her feet.
He seemed pleased with the solution and poured a small amount into the mug, testing it himself. "I think you're right. Plus, this is our only cup. Well, ladies first."
She giggled and took the shot, hiding her grimace behind her sleeve. Still, she welcomed the burn. At least some pleasure came with its unpleasantness. Consistent, reliable. Even the hangovers were welcome sometimes, good for blocking out any other worries as she focused on getting through it.
Burke poured himself a measure and knocked it back without so much a grimace as a look of disappointment he couldn't provide something better.
Talia propped an elbow on the crate and leant into her hand. "How far we've fallen," she joked.
"I'm not against roughing it, if necessary. I've been in worse bars."
"Really? Where?"
"You'll be familiar with Megaton. A dive out east. A few to the north."
"What were you doing out there?"
Burke held her gaze for a few seconds. "Networking."
Talia half rolled her eyes and laughed under her breath. "Sometimes I think I know so little about you."
Burke shrugged and put the cup down. "You know more than most. What do you want to know?"
Everything. "Where do you get your endless supply of cologne?"
He blinked as if expecting something else but obliged her. "Are you trying to say something?"
"No! It's just, you smell nice, and it's not that easy to find."
He gave her a withering look and shrugged. "My network."
She flushed at her own outstanding lameness. "Sorry, that was dumb."
"It's alright. It doesn't sound like you've had much normal conversation for a while."
True. The Big Town kids were… odd. But she didn't really want to joke around. She rolled her bottom lip through her teeth and lowered her eyes. "Okay… why did you come out here for me?"
He shifted forward, leaning his arms on his thighs. "You're my girl, Tali. I told you I wasn't going anywhere, didn't I?"
Talia stared hard at the crate between them. She remembered, though it felt more like a threat at the time. She swallowed and spoke in a low voice. "I can't be what I was… what we were doing. Even though I can, I- I just don't want to."
"No?"
"No. I know I'm fucked up, but I can- there can be a point to it."
"There isn't a point to it?"
"Not really. Is there?"
"There is to whoever paid for the job."
"And if their point is shit?"
Burke scoffed bitterly and Talia wondered if she'd offended him. But he looked into the distance thoughtfully. "Indeed. It's not our business to judge why. Just do the job. There's a reason it's supposed to work that way."
She wondered what he meant, but it didn't really matter. "All I'm saying is, I'd rather know my business. I mean, we can do whatever we want out here…"
Burke discarded whatever he was thinking and smiled. Warm and genuine, like she'd rarely seen. "See, you understand how things are. And what is it you want to do?"
"Like, generally? I dunno. Right now I just want to go home."
His smile ached a little. "We could make anywhere home, you know."
"Aren't we going back to the tower?"
"...We could. But things would be different."
"Why wouldn't we? Is everything okay?"
"It's fine… ah, we'll discuss it later."
"Oh, I see. Okay." Talia shelved her questions easily and welcomed a second drink as Burke picked up the bottle. Sitting here drinking with him and pretending she wasn't involved in a ridiculous amount of drama was far preferable to dealing with any of it. She giggled as the shot went down a little smoother than the first then searched for some music on her Pip Boy. "Hey, check this out." She tuned into what had been Enclave Radio, but was now just static. "Sorry if you liked that kind of music."
"It had been going so long everybody believed it was just a lot of recordings."
She tuned to Galaxy News and found relaxed jazz. "I have to say I kinda like you don't argue with me when I say I'm fucked up."
"I don't follow you."
"It's fine if you think so. I know it. I'm not under any illusions."
"You really think so?"
"I know so. I shot my friend's dad. No, that makes it sound like an accident. I killed him, and I meant to."
"They weren't exactly giving you many options, Tali."
"I don't know. He wasn't stopping me at that point. I probably could have made it out before he did anything."
"You didn't want to risk it. You're a survivor, like I said."
Talia shook her head softly. "I didn't want to leave without making him pay. Kinda that too. But mostly I just couldn't think about leaving knowing he was still there, ruining someone else's life, twisting the truth of it, making everyone believe Jonas was some kind of traitor, existing and every day reminding Amata how much he betrayed her. She would have to look at him every day knowing he had her locked up and beaten. She hates me for it, but I did her a favour. At least my dad had the decency to try to disappear. But I'm too lucky- or unlucky, I don't know- and I got dragged into his shit anyway."
"You never told me this before."
"No. You know why? Because it honestly didn't cross my mind that much ever since. That's how I know my brain's all screwy. Because apparently it was almost nothing, and a day later I wipe out a town just as easy, all to keep my precious ass above ground."
"And that makes you fucked up?"
Talia paused, smirking slightly with surprise at hearing Burke swear, even if he was quoting her. "It's not normal is it?"
Burke chuckled. "What's normal? We're not ordinary, if you like."
Talia fiddled with her braid. "Come on, you've never felt like an outsider?"
"I've always been on my own side."
"You've never felt like a weirdo? Different? Alone?"
He stroked his chin and sniffed dismissively, yet he kept his eyes locked with hers. "A long time ago, perhaps."
Talia did a little intake of breath at the admission. He often seemed immutable, permanent, such was his confidence in his ways.
"And you?" he inquired.
"Well not anymore-" she began without thinking. Then she paused and stared at the crate again, lowering her voice. "I mean, not- not with you."
"Is that so?" He sounded eager to know, and Talia was eager to tell him somehow, so she let the whisky do the talking.
"No one else knows this about me Burke. I mean sure, Amata basically used me for her dirty work, but she doesn't know I'm like this. She probably blamed it on the harshness of the outside or something. And Butch said I'm a psycho, but he's a dick."
"Who?"
"Nobody. Point is you know me, and, and you don't push any of me away or try to ignore it when I'm not what you want. I mean you're here right now. And I could blame you for making me infamous and training me to be a fucking angel of darkness, but I was already on my own side, and I'd do it again, because you get me. I think. I think you do." She bit her tongue and busied her hands with her scarf to stop herself rambling. She was over worrying if she had fooled herself again. Burke was nothing like Butch. Everything was different.
"...You would rig that bomb again, for me?"
Talia nodded and shrugged and hummed in assent.
Burke was quiet for so long she had to peer up. He was looking at her warmly again. Proudly. But something seemed to be amusing him.
"I mean, I wouldn't change things… What is it? Don't tell me we're not fucked up. This should not be a laughing matter."
He snorted under his breath and broke his silence. "Well, it's no matter. Not anymore. You see, I didn't come here to get my employee."
"...No?"
"No." He laid so much meaning on the word Talia looked down again, bashfully pulling at her scarf. She was getting warm sitting right next to this fire.
He stroked her hair around her ear again, resting a palm against her cheek, and she instinctively leant into it. "Truth be told, I… I haven't been able to think straight since you left at all."
Talia snorted and shook her head, leaving him hanging. "Yes you have. You just took over Rivet City in about five minutes. You think fine."
"And why would I go to all that trouble to return a probationary agent who went AWOL?"
"I don't know. You're strange."
"Am I?"
"Yes. You sent some guy to creep on me for a full week, remember."
He huffed a little sigh of mild indignation and instead took her hand, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. "Clarence is my best investigator, and he was to look out for you. Which he did."
"I don't know why he had to sneak around."
"You were free to go. But I needed to know where you were, lest the wasteland swallow you up."
She watched his thumb trace back and forth over her fingers. She tensed up as he squeezed. The pressure, the warmth, like a beacon drawing her back to reality. Back to the present. Reminding her she was alive. The past few days hadn't felt real, the space between dreams and wakefulness, harangued by the echoes of Raven Rock. She watched as it began to fade and colour seeped back into the edges of the present. And feeling returned. And hopes of a future beyond just surviving one more day resurfaced.
She squeezed back. Tether me to real life, reel me in, she asked him silently.
"I didn't know it would come to this, of course. Much as I worked to be in a position to bargain for your freedom, I… they would not enter into negotiations. And then my investigator I so strangely employed arrives at my door. Tali, I cannot explain the extent of my gratitude for his work. If he had witnessed your capture that would have been something, but to deliver to you to me when I had thought you, perhaps, lost to me- forever-"
Talia shook her head. Her eyes were hot. Her grip faltered.
Burke grasped her more tightly and corrected himself. "Not that I had lost faith in you. Never. But perhaps you had joined them. I would not judge you for that. Talia- look at me. I don't judge you for any of it. I'm so proud of you."
She resisted the pressure behind her eyes and valiantly kept the moisture there from spilling to her cheeks. She spoke barely over a whisper, but surely. "So am I."
Burke smiled. His eyes shone with a familiar intensity but had a brittleness to them, like glass. He cupped her hand in both of his and studied it as he spoke. "You are a gift. I knew that if I sat with you again, it would not be the same. I imagined what I would say, but… it is not as easy as that. I... know that you have been through a lot, but I have been thinking of you constantly. Since you left. Before that, honestly. Perhaps even since the day we met. I may be getting carried away-"
The words swirled around Talia in a flurry of unexpected ardour. What was he talking about? She must be hearing things. That dumb robot must have missed a head injury. She couldn't focus on what he was saying- what her screwed up brain was concocting. She nodded and tugged at her scarf some more. The fire was too hot. She was too close.
She wrenched her hand free from Burke's and shambled across the floor to a cooler spot.
"What's wrong?" He stood abruptly.
"I'm just, hot..." She fought to untangle herself from her scarf and get out of her sweater.
"I said too much didn't I? I'm not- are you sure you're alright?" He crouched beside her, laying a supportive hand on her shoulder.
Talia nodded and tried to deepen her breathing, wishing he would just go have a cigarette or something. He was trying to be nice. Why couldn't she handle that?
"Tali, I don't mean to- what's this?" He guided her back onto her heels and swept her hair from her neck. "Jesus Christ-" His voice escalated from a gentle timbre to something more agitated, then wrathful. "What did they do to you?" He turned her to face him, studying the extent of injury to her throat.
Talia frowned, thrown by his sudden change of temperament, albeit this one more familiar.
He stood with a growl and stormed to the far end of the room, paced back, then retreated again. He kicked an empty bottle against the wall where it smashed.
Talia started. Dogmeat came running. She steadied him and stared in confusion. "Burke, it's fine- I'm fine."
"It is not fine. That's not an interrogation. Someone tried to kill you. Who was it? Who did it? I'll end them."
"You won't."
"Yes I will. Who was it? I'll hunt them down like a dog and make them regret that they were ever born."
"It… it was Dean. But he's dead, alright."
Burke glared at her warily, daring it to be the truth, but she suspected he'd feel he missed out if it was.
"It happened on the way out of the base, like I told you. I'm sorry, I skipped the details."
"For god's sake Tali."
"I just don't want to think about it anymore, okay?"
His jaw tightened and he walked back, appeasing Dogmeat who shortly found everything in order and returned to his preferred spot.
Talia carefully got to her feet. "I've got hurt during work and it wasn't a big deal… I'm here aren't I?"
"You are. But- no, I won't have that. Minor injuries were not a big deal."
"This is minor. It's just bruising…"
She knew she was being a little facetious and he let her know he didn't appreciate it. "Sometimes you are too flippant." His voice was restrained. His eyes were still simmering with quiet fury.
"I just don't see what's the difference. Bruise is a bruise."
He span away from her again in a minor eruption. "It's different Talia. You are being difficult. This… this is too close. It's different now."
He was angry, but he was wrestling with something. Was it their 'situation'? She toyed with her braid with both hands and spoke meekly out of genuine confusion. "What is?"
"Everything!" He whirled back on her. "Everything is different!" She gasped a little as he drew close, gripping her by the shoulders. "It's all so different now, Tali. All of it. Don't you think so? Everything." He cupped her cheeks with his palms, echoing himself with a whisper. "Everything…"
The fury had left his eyes and Talia found herself reflected once more in brittle glass. "I'm- sorry-?" she whispered, unsure what exactly she'd done to break her immutable Burke.
He breathed the barest of chuckles under his breath, almost invisibly shook his head, and took the breath from her mouth with a kiss.
Was she hallucinating now too? But no, she could smell the whisky on his breath, feel how his stubble grazed her bottom lip, feel the warmth of his hands and how firmly they held her, familiar and steady and soothing and long missed. She closed her eyes and played along, noticing that her Pip Boy was still serenading them, thinking if this was real surely Three Dog would interrupt and ruin the moment.
But the music played on, and she was kissing back, tasting the cigarettes he'd smoked before she got here, and she discarded any notion she was going to wake up back in a cell somewhere- her dreams didn't contain that level of detail- and yielded to what was, against all her predictions borne of anxiety and dread, really happening.
She grasped his sweater with desperate fingers and he pulled her closer, so close, but not close enough. If only she would melt and flow into his veins, or dissolve into a cloud of smoke and he would breathe her in, and she would rest in his lungs, sustaining him, protected, no longer carried by the wind to be wafted away by hand after hand.
When he pulled away- a second at a time, unable or unwilling to sever the kiss completely immediately- his arms encircled her waist and hers entwined his neck. She opened her eyes and the way he looked at her made her feel as if she might crumble to ash between his fingers.
But she didn't. Burke held her steady, eventually smiling a little breathlessly. She looked stunned. Confused but sanguine in the way of a lost child realising they are home. Her lips still glistened and she still clung to him tightly, so tightly. Absolutely sublime.
He was a little stunned himself. He'd never shared a kiss like it, still lingering on the tongue, ringing in his ears, an aftermath that was nothing more than what preceded it, but the colour completely changed.
He should have done this before, in her suite. But would he have known this feeling when she accepted him? He could see in her eyes he had not assumed too much. But for him, everything was different. He wanted her then. Now, he couldn't imagine leaving this place without her.
"Are you feeling alright? You can say something, you know." He gave her some breathing space and checked her forehead with a palm.
She relaxed her arms, sliding her hands over his collarbone, squeezing him gently. "I'm just… checking I'm definitely not dreaming."
He chuckled when he realised she wasn't hiding behind a joke. She must be quite stunned. "Feature often do I?"
"Hmm."
"You're still very warm, my sweet girl. Why don't you go by the window and catch a breeze. Come." He took her by the hand and helped her over the central buttress to the arch overlooking the river. She leant against one side and looked out, while the breeze caught her shirt and hair.
Burke paced, mind and heart still racing. "I regret I could not reach you before… well, before this happened. If they had been willing to talk right away I would have gotten you out, I'm certain. I suppose I'm- I'm trying to say- to apologise. I wish you had not endured any of this. You certainly won't again. I will not let you out of my sight."
Realising what he'd just said he turned to lay his eyes upon her. She was still poised by the arched window, moonlight softly illuminating her face while the fire cast dancing shadows on the wall next to her. It struck him that she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.
He must tell her. Enough rambling, he must tell her what he knew was true. "Talia-" He stepped towards her and paused when he saw tears streaming silently down her cheek. She turned away to look to the other side of the river. He reached out for her.
He expected her to resist, pull away, try to hide her shame, but she flowed into his arms at the first touch. She said nothing, and nor did he. He held her tightly and let her tears dampen his chest until she had not the energy to even keep her legs beneath her, and he supported her to the ground as she crumpled against him.
He didn't know how long he sat with her while everything she'd suppressed, delayed, stored away came out. It had to. She'd held herself together for a long time until she reached safety. Or perhaps it was relief. He didn't pretend to understand, he just savoured the feel of her in his arms, her weight, her warmth, the way she grasped him as though she might fall off the edge of the earth. He felt an unfurling in his own shoulders as she began to calm, and a glow in his chest as their breaths gradually relaxed into a synchrony.
"You're shivering. Let's go back to the fire."
She nodded and took his hand, settling down on a pile of blankets by the wall, facing the fire and the Citadel beyond. Burke fetched her sweater before joining her. She declined with a gesture.
"You don't want it?"
"Fire's plenty warm enough."
"What's so funny?" he asked, giving her several curious looks.
Talia shook her head. Sneaking around in some neglected liminal space after dark, and he was trying to get her clothes back on. "Nothing," she smiled, resting her head against his shoulder and playing with his sleeve. He made a satisfied little noise that made her chest simmer, and she switched off her Pip Boy so all she could hear was the crackle of the fire and the steady ebb and flow of his breath.
"Good to know you're still easily amused." He mocked her gently, tracing a finger over the back of her hand.
She just nuzzled further into his shoulder, too content to counter. She sighed a long, deep breath, whispering more to herself. "Can I stay here forever."
Her fingers tingled as Burke softly kissed the top of her head. "I'm not sure I can sit on this floor for that long. Is the Citadel comfortable? I'm sure I could win over Paladin Bael. He seems partial to a good vodka… or a nine millimeter through the skull."
Talia propped her chin on his shoulder to look at him. She still couldn't be sure when he was joking. "It's comfy-ish… but it's not private. If you don't mind a hundred weirdos watching you everywhere you go and knowing all your business, go ahead."
"Hm. Sounds ideal."
Talia giggled as Burke resigned not unwillingly to remain in their fireside nest for now. His expression was relaxed, more than she'd ever seen it, and she thought maybe he actually was. It was nice to see him in a rare placid moment, and she thought he was the most gorgeous sight she'd ever set eyes on.
"Hey," she murmured, shifting onto her hip so she could reach him. He welcomed her, eyes sparkling with something young and excited despite his stoic exterior. She brought her lips to his again, a languorous exploration, free of the surprise and tumult of earlier, like the period of warmth, light and stillness after the clouds break during a sudden summer rainshower.
She kissed him for some time, she didn't know how long, but it could never be long enough. He was in no hurry, holding her close with one arm while stroking the back of her neck, squeezing her shoulder, loosening her hair with the other. Every touch sent little quivers of electricity through her, and soon she was on her knees lunging for him more urgently.
He chuckled and she knew his meaning, but it wasn't like that. If she didn't do something she might burst. She reluctantly broke off the kiss, foreheads touching, her hair draping either side of their faces so only a sliver of light reached the small space between them. She let the emotion welling up inside her carry the words from her mouth.
"You know I love you right?"
He was silent and still, but she could just see him smile. He ran his hands up her sides all the way to her arms that lay across his shoulders. "I know."
She breathed a little sigh of acknowledgement, of relief, and kissed him again if only because she didn't know what to say after that.
A wave of passion found Burke and he pulled her over into his lap. She squealed and tried to gain some control but he did not release her from his fevered kiss, instead leaning over her so that she was only held up by his arms and she could do nothing but hold on and be kissed until he was done. Eventually he broke away for air, but kept her hanging as if dipping on the dancefloor, speaking hoarsely.
"Talia, I- I love you too-"
"No," she whispered, planting a fingertip on his lips. "You- you don't have to say anything... I just wanted you to know."
He frowned at her, subtly, almost sadly, and she offered a soft smile of compensation, but he didn't return to business. He pulled her forward so she could sit up herself, drawing small circles on her shoulder with his thumb. "But it's true."
She looked down as her fingers toyed idly with his sweater, ashamed of struggling to believe it. His other hand rose to her cheek, caressing it gently, just reminding her that he was here, always here.
"Tell me again." His voice was low, imploring.
"What?" She looked up into his face. Brittle blue glass looking back at her, seeking, requesting, full of yearning. It took her aback. She'd never known him to need anything.
"Tell me."
She realised what he wanted, and she felt something like honoured to be able to give it. She shimmied her whole body snugly against his so she could bring their faces close and told him she loved him without mincing her words or looking elsewhere.
A moment as he absorbed what she gave, the glass galvanised, and they fell together into their spartan but private fireside nest.