A/N: This is Part 4 of the BruisedBloodyBroken Series ?

I also want to THANK EVERYONE who's reading this, and sticking around, and who're always there to review and give me kudos.

I've changed my writing-style into present tense? It – somehow – makes it easier to write …

The Road So Far:

(It'd be easier to read the previous parts, since I REALLY SUCK AT SUMMARIES).

When Dean was looking for a hook-up at a bar called Nancy'n Fred's, in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, he came across a hooker who he decided to spend the night with.

They did meet a couple of times afterwards.

Soon after their last encounter, Sam got banged up pretty bad by two of his costumers and was left on his own in an abandoned warehouse.

Sam managed to kill one of the men and found a way to contact Dean on his way through the woods and towards the road.

Dean and Bobby drove off to look for him and eventually found him at the side of the road – messed up and all.

Sam didn't want to go to a hospital & get the authorities involved, so they took him to the Salvage, where he was supposed to heal and get better.

During that time, it turned out, that Sam was raised by Jody Mills, who vanished when Sam was 17.

After that he was on his own.

Sam was getting better. He and Dean came closer ~ their relationship evolved … they started hunting together …

When they intended to hunt down a witch, it went south.

Dean and Sam ended up cursed and everything spiraled down pretty fast, after Dean tortured Sam half to death.

Eventually the curse broke, but Sam ended up on the ICU.

When Sam woke, he seemed broken and hurting.

Dean took care of him – as good as he possibly could.

They lay low at Bobby's Salvage, while Sam was supposed to recover, but instead of getting better, he was getting worse.

They figured out, that they didn't break the curse, and that the monster of the week was "The Mother Of All Curses".

In the end, Dean used the dream-root to enter Sam's mind and freed him from the Monster's grasp.

Things tended to get better, then shit hit the fan, as Bobby talks to Dean about a call he's gotten weeks ago and filled him in on the fact, that he and Sam are brothers.

THEN:

"You were supposed to have a little brother. – You remember?" Bobby asked, obviously trying to approach the topic carefully.

"He's been born dead." Dean nodded. He knew that. He's only been four years old, but he could remember. He could remember, that his mother – Mary – had been in hospital longer than she was supposed to be, and when she came home, there was no baby.

And his parents had been devasted after that. For a pretty long time.

A couple of months later, his mother died. Their house burnt down. John changed after that, and well yeah, the rest was crystal clear …

"What does that have to do with Sam?" Dean was truly irritated.

Bobby looked at Dean, giving him a once-over as if to make sure he truly could take what he had to give right now. He probably figured that due that short trip down memory lane, bells should be – at least – start to ring in Dean's head.

They so did not, because, maybe if they would have, it wouldn't have hit Dean like a freight train.

Bobby cleared his throat. "Dean. - Sam's your brother."

Brothers

BruisedBloodyBroken ~ Part 4

Chapter 1 ~ There's Nowhere To Go

Dean doesn't tell Sam.

He can't. – Not yet. – Not after Sam's well again. Well, as well as someone could be after what he's been through.

Nonetheless, at least Sam acts as if he's fine, and he takes care of it, that Dean doesn't notice how he's doing on the inside.

Dean can tell, that Sam's kind of jumpy around him, whenever he is too silent when entering their bedroom, or when he comes up behind Sam to hug – or simply touch him.

It's not like Dean's not nervous around Sam too. – Kind of at least.

He hasn't forgotten about what he's done to him. He can't forget. The reminders of it are written all over his lovers body – specially his chest, where Dean's initials glare at him each time he sees Sam's bare chest.

It makes him sick.

Each and every time.

Besides that, there's the fact, that they are brothers. Actual brothers – in the blood.

Needless to say, that they haven't had any kind of sexual intercourse these past four weeks after Bobby dropping the bombshell right in front of Dean's feet.

Dean is not sure how to deal with the situation.

After all, it's not like he is able to knock Sam up. But it's still incest – at least it was. Maybe it still is, even when they don't have sex – or anything close to it. Because there are those feelings for his little brother – YES, actually little brother (Dean still can't wrap his mind around that little fact).

Sometimes he manages to "forget" about the fact that Sam's his little brother. Sometimes he is able to act as if nothing has happened, but whenever Sam tries to get into his pants, Dean freezes and wiggles out of the situation – more or less graceful.

But he still can't tell Sam.

Not when Sam's looking at him with those giant hazel-green eyes. So soft and loving, and all the ways he shouldn't be looking at Dean.

He knows – at some point he needs to tell Sam. Better sooner than later, he figures. But he can't. He simply can't. Not as long as he's not sure how he himself decides to act on it.

So, he keeps Sam at bay. He pushes him away – sometimes, not always. – At first.

Only when it comes to Sam wanting more than just cuddling, or being close.

And the more Dean pushes, the more Sam seems to want to come closer. The more Dean tries to get out of his way, Sam'd be there – right in front of him.

Demanding attention. Demanding to be kissed. Demanding to tell him what is wrong.

SPN

After week number one, Sam seems to get agitated – Dean can tell. He notices. Who would he be if he doesn't.

But he can't help it.

Week number two – and after what seems like the millionth time Sam tries to coax Dean into a blowjob – It's even worse. Sam looks sad – somehow. But he still tries.

Dean just wants him to stop trying for the sake of it. He's not in the mood. Maybe will never be again, if he overthinks this some more.

Week number three is not any easier. Dean knows he needs to do something. Get his mind straight and decide what he wants. And he needs to tell Sam, since he's still trying to urge Dean to tell him what's wrong and why he's trying to avoid Sam.

Now, they've reached week number four.

Bobby has a talk with Dean.

The old man tells him, that he doesn't care. And that no one ever has to know that they're actually brothers. No one besides him, Ellen and Dean. And that – no matter what – he'll be there for them.

He would always be.

Maybe that should make Dean feel better, but it doesn't. Because he still can't get his shit together, and he still doesn't know how to handle it.

And he still has to tell Sam. – Who is now so eerily calm towards him and even stops to even want to snuggle into his side at night – like he is used to do all the damn time.

Sam takes exquisite care to be dressed whenever Dean comes into their bedroom. – He's cautious and hides the scars Dean had inflicted.

Maybe he thinks Dean can't look at him anymore.

And Dean kind of can't look at him anymore, but not because of that very reason.

SPN

Sam's only poking at the sausages and potato-mash they are having for dinner. He excuses himself towards Bobby, but doesn't address Dean in any way when he tells them that he's going to have an early night.

As soon as the bedroom's door is heard, Bobby leans back and gestures towards Dean with his fork – still a sausage impaled on it.

"Don't be an idiot. – Either you tell him what's up, or you suck it up like the Winchester you are and move on."

They are going to have that talk again, Dean thinks. And he doesn't want to have it.

He's going to tell Bobby the exact same think like the last couple of times. That he's going to tell Sam as soon as he himself knows how to deal with this.

And Bobby's going to tell him, that he needs to get to a conclusion soon, or this's going to go south faster than an exorcised demon's ass is cast back downstairs.

"Sam tried to talk to me about what's bothering you. – I told him you're gonna tell him when you're ready. – If you can't sort things out for yourself, I'll tell Sam myself – since you can't make up your mind. Maybe – if he knows – you can figure out something together."

Yeah, Bobby's always been a wise man.

But Dean figures, old grumpy has no clue how he's feeling right now, and how hard it is to tell Sam the very thing that is threatening their relationship.

Not that Dean thinks for only one second, how his current behavior is threatening their relationship anyway.

"Boy. – Sam didn't leave you after the curse was broken. – Your cursed-self tortured him. Killed him. And he's still here. With you. – So, think about it, before you're making a decision you may regret afterwards." Bobby reminds him again anyway, because the old man seems as if he wants the both of them to be together.

Dean values that highly.

It still doesn't change anything about the way he feels.

SPN

When Dean enters their bedroom, Sam's already tugged in under the covers, back towards the door and therefore Dean's side of the bed.

Dean's as silent as he can possibly be when he enters the bathroom to get dressed into his night-gown. When he returns, Sam's still in the same position.

Probably already asleep.

But maybe not …

Maybe he's been waiting up for him – again – to try and talk – or to try and give him a blowjob, because obviously, Sam thinks that's going to make Dean feel better. Or to show him, that he's still worth it (which Dean thinks is more likely of a reason why Sam even tries it).

For a moment, he overthinks to sleep in the same bed like Sam, and that it may be better to move to the couch in the living-room. Then he discharges the idea.

He sleeping not in the same room like Sam wouldn't change a thing.

Turns out, Dean should've taken the couch though.

No ten minutes after Dean has crawled under the blankets, Sam stirs and turns on his back.

Dean keeps his breaths even, faking to be asleep, so the kid won't get any wrong ideas.

Sam doesn't seem to buy it anyway. He's obviously getting all the wrong ideas.

"What's wrong?", Sam asks, and Dean can feel Sam's eyes burning holes into his skull.

"I'm tired, Sammy.", he mutters.

Calling him Sammy is the only comfort Dean can possibly utter at the moment. Of course, it's hard to not roll over, tug Sam into his arms, hold him close and tell him that he loves him from the bottom of his heart. – Dean reminds himself that they're actually brothers, and that he can't do that. Not anymore.

"You're always tired, lately.", Sam says and Dean feels something sneaking under his covers, ghosting along his hips tentatively.

At the same time, it feels like icy claws are tugging at his heart.

Dean doesn't open his eyes. He squeezes them shut, tries to not give into the hidden plea that's shown in a tentative, tender touch.

He doesn't know what to tell Sam. "I'm stressed. – Sorry, buddy."

Sam freezes – goes stock-still – when Dean calls him buddy. Because they aren't buddies. They're more than buddies. At least Sam had thought so.

Sam blows out a frustrated sigh and pulls back.

Dean breaths out a long low breath of relief, when Sam's fingers withdraw from his hip. He gets the feeling, that he is allowed to relax…

And then – all of a sudden – Sam's touch is replaced by his entire body, on top of him, straddling his hips, big hands reaching for Dean's wrists and the very next moment, he's caught. – CAGED.

A pair of hazel-green eyes stare down on him – it's hard to make anything out in the darkness, but when Dean opens his eyes, it looks like Sam's angry – furious even.

Sam grinds down against his crotch – hard – demanding.

"So, you're telling me, you don't want this?", Sam grounds out through gritted teeth.

As if on cue, Dean's manhood responds to the friction – to SAM.

Sam grinds down on him again, his long fingers fastened tightly around Dean's wrists, holding him down, pressing him into the mattress.

"Get off of me, Sam.", Dean says, not moving for a moment. Then he tugs at the restraining grip.

Sam's holding him tight, but he's not rough. "No. – Not until you tell me what's wrong."

Dean knows Sam's strong, and that he could put more strength into his hands and fingers, but Sam obviously doesn't want to hurt him.

"Sam." It's a fair warning, because he is not going to tell him anything right now. He's still pretty fed up with Bobby's speech. "Get. Off."

"No." Because Sam's as stubborn as that.

And then, Sam does what he better shouldn't do. He crushes his lips against Dean's, demanding entrance with his tongue.

And that's enough.

Dean can't take it anymore. He can't have Sam pressuring him. He can't have Sam like that at the moment.

Why can't the kid just … back off? Give him some space? Let him catch his breath? Lets him figure it out?

It's like a damn reflex.

Dean throws – literally throws – Sam off of him. It's actually meant to be a shove, but it ends up with Sam on the floor beside the bed, tangled up in the covers.

Dean hears him gasp – and he knows that sound – it's when you hit a surface hard enough, so that all air is knocked out from your lungs.

He flinches at the sound. At the hurt that's hidden beneath.

Then Dean gets up from the bed, steps over Sam – not even giving him a visual once over, checking if he is okay, and disappears in the bathroom.

Then the lock clicks shut.

Sam's not even capable of staring after him at the very moment. He only lies on the floor, panting, clutching his sternum.

He tries to figure out what just happened and where and how to put it in his mind.

He doesn't know. Hell, he has no clue how to figure this out.

But he knows one thing. – He can't stand this entire situation anymore.

He can't stand being close to Dean without being allowed to touch, and without Dean touching him. He can't be with a man he loves and doesn't requite his feelings.

He can't stand the feeling, that Dean doesn't love him anymore, when Sam himself is so head over heels for the hunter. Maybe he's just stupid.

Maybe he's been interpreting everything wrong that's happened so far between the both of them – at least everything after he got back from the dark place.

Dean being all cold and distant.

… Maybe Sam's a liability now … Something he doesn't want to put up with anymore …

Sam had tried to get Dean to talk to him. He had tried to coax him to tell him what's wrong and what's going on in that head of his.

Dean wouldn't say anything. Or at least nothing useful.

Sam decides – for his and Dean's sake – it might's time to spend some time separated from each other.

He knows about a hunt a few states over. Probably a werewolf or wendigo. – So, practically a walk in the park (or rather woods). Sam was supposed to do some research about it for another hunter, since some things doesn't add up.

He decides, that he'll take the case in his own hands.

At least it'd be better than hanging around on the Salvage – with Dean. Specially since he doesn't have anywhere else to go.

As hard as it is – and as much as it hurts – that's probably the most intelligent thing Sam can come up with at the moment.

So, before he can overthink his decision, he makes himself move.

Sam gets dressed, not caring that he may is too loud and that Dean can hear him packing his bag.

Dean doesn't come out of the bathroom, though he must hear what Sam's doing. He's a hunter and not deaf, so he well has to notice, when Sam's bare feet aren't bare anymore and that he's wearing his boots now.

Sam throws a last look at the bathroom's door – saying his goodbye to Dean without words -, before he leaves the bedroom behind, fully dressed, duffel over his shoulder.

Downstairs, Sam writes down a note – mainly for Bobby, but also for Dean if he'd decide to care again – and leaves the house.

He takes one of the beaters from behind the garage, and drives off, heading west.

SPN

Dean's not alarmed. – At least at first.

He hears Sam move around in their bedroom. He hears drawers being opened and closed. Dean thinks about going out there. He debates with himself if now's a good moment to tell Sam why he's been acting weird.

He hears the change from bare feet against wood to boot-clad ones. And that's about when he realizes, that Sam's not only getting dressed. He's packing. He's going to leave. – To fucking leave.

And Dean freezes at the realization – the initial shock. The ice-cold-grip of threat clawing at his insides, that Sam's going to leave, and maybe won't come back again.

Then again – There's not really a valid reason for him to worry. Sam's not going to stay away for long. He never does.

Dean can give him a call in a couple of days. See how things are.

Sam'll pick up anyway. After all it's Sam he's thinking about and Sam's no one to be unforgiving.

Maybe it's a good idea – actually the best one – to get an adequate amount of distance between the both of them. Maybe Sam's doing the right thing. Something Dean hadn't been able to, though he's been thinking about it for a couple of days now.

Maybe – a couple of days of separation would help Dean to finally clear his mind.

SPN

.... to be continued.

A/N: There will be 3 chapters ;) I hope you'll like it ...