~There is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness~

I sit on his bed, he's sitting next to me with some space between us. We're both silent for a while, I'm waiting for him to speak first. I can see from the expression on his face that he's thinking hard about what to say.

"I'm sorry I freaked out… it's like my mind blacks out when certain memories come into focus and my body goes into shock. It's just really fucking difficult for me to talk about certain things. I just want you to know that I would never hurt you," he said in a guttural tone.

"The girl in the photo is Victoria… she was my girlfriend, we dated for almost a year," his voice tight and strained.

He clears his throat before continuing, staring at the wall in front of us with a numb look on his face. "She's… um… dead. She went missing and her body was found. She was wearing the necklace I gave her at the time so I was asked if I wanted it; I kept it as a reminder of the sick, cruel world we live in." He strokes the back of his neck in discomfort. "I know it's morbid but it's the only piece I have left of her so I kept onto it."

I sit there in shock, not knowing what to say. A sharp pain hits my chest; I would've never guessed that this was his secret. I try to imagine the pain of losing your significant other - losing Edward, and I couldn't imagine how I'd deal with it.

I felt so bad for causing a scene, thinking the worst, and not trusting him when he's had to deal with this. Anger rises through me at the judgment and rumors from everyone when he's done nothing wrong.

I wish he told me the truth right away so I wouldn't have reacted like that, but after witnessing the effect it had on him, I understand why he couldn't tell me at that moment. There's nothing wrong with him hanging on to a piece of her, even though it is a bit odd that it's the necklace she died with, but he did buy it for her.

I grab his hand and hold onto it in his lap, my thumb caressing the back of it.

"I found out she was cheating on me right before it happened. My last memory of her was of us getting into a nasty argument with each other, it still haunts me. Sometimes I feel like it's my fault." His body slumped forward, his eyes cast downward.

"Edward no, don't think that – you're not the one that killed her," I insist. I hate that he blames himself. He stares at me with so much pain and sadness in his eyes.

He stares at my hand in his lap, drawing swirls on it with his fingers. "It happened a few months before I came here so it's pretty fresh in my mind. I've always struggled with my emotions and had trouble containing my anger but after that situation, it just got worse," his eyes squinted in pain. "I'm trying to forget about it, but when someone asks about my past, it's like a switch that goes off that I can't control – all the painful memories rise to surface, and I relive it."

I lean my head into his shoulder and curl into him as he wraps his arm around my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, that must have been the hardest thing to go through, to lose someone you're in love with."

I know it was selfish of me to even think this - considering the girl was dead, but is that why he's like this? Is he still in love with her and broken without her? Am I just a rebound to numb the pain of losing her? Is he willing to heal - move on from her? My insecurities creep in.

"Yeah…" he trails off. "This might sound shitty but it's not like we were madly in love or anything like that; not compared to the way I feel about you." My heart thumps. "We fought a lot but just stayed with each other for comfort, it's still hard to lose someone you care about though, especially since my last memories of her weren't the best." He hits the metal of his tongue ring against his teeth, lost in thought.

What is wrong with me, the poor girl lost her life and I'm relieved that Edward isn't in love with her; I feel sick at the thoughts running through my mind.

"Is she the reason you moved here?"

He hesitates before answering, "yes, part of the reason. There were a lot of rumors circulating and it was really hard to deal with, after everything that happened. Too many bad memories and it was difficult for my family as well. My parents grew up here so they thought it'd be nice to come back and have a fresh start." He scratches the scruff growing in on his chin. "Carlisle is a surgeon so he was offered a job here right away and Esme's a teacher so it wasn't hard for her either. A lot of their childhood friends are here so it wasn't the worst thing for them, thankfully."

For some odd reason, doubt creeps into my mind. I feel like there's more to the story; like he was holding back some information. Considering that him and Victoria weren't in love and had problems, it seemed a bit off that it had completely destroyed him and affected him and his family's entire life. Something wasn't adding up.

Before I let my mind wander, I accepted what he told me and needed to trust him. For him to open up this quickly after his panic attack, shows me how much he cares and is willing to fight for us even if it causes him pain, he's trying his best. I didn't want to push him to that breaking point again. Progress is all I ask for and I'm getting it. I had to be strong for him – for us.

I can't see Edward hurting anyone, he may be damaged but he's not a psychopath. He has the biggest heart I know; what he went through doesn't change that.

He turns to me and holds my face in his hands. "I don't know what I'd do without you, I can't fucking lose you. I'm so fucking sorry for freaking out on you like that; I didn't mean to hurt you, I just got so scared. I know I don't deserve you and I don't even know why you want to be with me but I swear I'll try my hardest to be good enough for you, please don't leave," he begs with desperation in his voice.

I push away his chaotic hair away from his face to look into his hauntingly beautiful jade eyes, they're red and wet. The look in his eyes causes my eyes to water as well.

"I'm not going anywhere, I love you. All I ask is that you try, I know how hard this is for you but it means everything to me that you're trying. Don't ever be afraid to turn to me, I want to help you heal. We're both a fucked up pair but I know we could be amazing together." I lean in to give him a gentle kiss, taking his bottom lip between mine. I taste both of our tears.

I end up staying the night, Edward and I holding each other, not saying any words, just basking in one another's touch and energy. Esme and Carlisle don't bother us for the rest of the night.

A/N: You didn't think that this was the happy ending yet, did you? (Inserts evil smiley face) Only about half way through so far!

Seriously though, I always intend for my chapters to be dark and then they get so fucking sweet, I don't know what's wrong with me haha! This story is taking a slightly different turn than I expected but still dark times ahead, don't worry.