A/N: Arghhh, I have *plans* for this fic but life keeps getting in the way of spending time on it. So not traught.
Ages: Cameron is 21 and Artemis is 20.
Homely
Fall, Team Year 5
"I can't believe you're actually going to college!" Artemis said, genuine excitement in her voice.
"I said I might be going to college. Next year, not right now!" Cameron protested.
The two were huddled up around his laptop on her bed, the sounds of the Harper household dim but present in the background. It was becoming a familiar habit for them to spend time here, whenever Artemis wasn't stopping by one of his safehouses when she visited her mom in Gotham. Or at least, familiar enough that Lian started giggling excitably when she saw Cameron show up, much to Jade's chagrin.
Their routine was assisted by the fact that Jade was allergic to any other "guests" coming into her home, which meant there wasn't really a chance of Zatanna or Conner or someone else barging in on them hanging out and asking questions. Barring Ollie or Dinah, superheroes that showed up at the Harper residence were given a cold shoulder and told to find Artemis when she wasn't on, as Jade put it, "my lawfully owned, semi-legally funded property."
Cameron wasn't sure if she let him in because he wasn't a superhero or because she actually tolerated him, and he never felt the urge to ask her for clarification.
Artemis, despite the grumblings from her friends, appreciated having a barrier between her and worried teammates. Things were getting closer to normal, and she had done a much better job of reaching out and socializing with them more lately, but she liked being able to do it on her terms. Her one-night run through Star City with Cameron several weeks ago gave her a rush of endorphins, but she hadn't donned the uniform since then. She really wasn't sure she was going to put it back on.
Between that and Cameron still working on "tying things up, quietly" as he said every time she asked, refusing to offer any more details, the two had actually been able to do things completely unrelated to their night-life activities.
Like plan for college.
"You know if you told me about this before the semester started I would have made you register for this semester," Artemis said, sounding accusatory. "Weird how you only mentioned this after the semester started."
"Yeah yeah, coincidences and what not," he said, trying to sneak some of Artemis's french fries from her Batburger takeout. Because yes, they definitely had used Zeta Tubes to stop by Gotham for the sole purpose of getting takeout. "Besides I didn't want to distract you from your transfer to Starling University."
Her decision to transfer from Stanford hadn't exactly thrilled her mother, as Starling University, nice as it was, was still a step down from Stanford. But Stanford had Wally's ghost running around and his college friends that would always give her a sympathetic look and professors who knew what happened and going back would have been too much.
Shoving the thoughts of her old college away, Artemis also smacked Cameron's fingers away from her fries. "Didn't want to distract me my ass. Anyway, how are you going to start off? Maybe an Algebra class or English?"
"I'm thinking one or two classes, because I've seen you as a full time college student and I'm not interested in growing gray...er hairs. I was looking at these criminology classes: There's Victomology, Introduction to Forensics, Security Protocols. Pretty sure I could sleep through these classes and still ace them."
Artemis peered over his shoulder at the laptop. "Uhmm, these are 300 and 400 level classes. You have to take the prerequisites first."
Cameron gave her a puzzled look. "Isn't the whole point of college being able to take classes at your own pace?"
"Yeaaah, but not really. You have to take the classes in order, like Spanish I goes before Spanish II in high school. Plus you have to take a bunch of basic credits first before you can really work on anything for your major."
"What now?"
"You know, like english, math, a science class with a lab, yada yada. It's a bunch of classes meant to 'round out' your college experience. It's more useful for people who aren't sure about their major."
"And how long does that take?"
"About a year, maybe a year and a half, depending on how many classes you're taking in a semester."
"And I'm paying for that?!" he asked semi-hysterically.
"Yup," she answered with a grimace.
"This is criminal, even for me," he mumbled.
"Hah, wait till you get to the bookstore prices. Did they tell you about registration deadlines?"
"I'm pretty sure they mentioned it, but I mean, don't we just get to pick and choose our classes? I mean I know this is a, heavens forbid," he faked clutching nonexistent pearls, "a state school, in Gotham no less, but these classes aren't exactly dollar store price."
Artemis let out a dry laugh. "Like you said, it's criminal. You can get some government aid but that not really if you're only taking one or two classes."
"So, to recap," Cameron started slowly, "I'm paying all this money, and I've got to take all these extra classes that I don't want or need, just to get to take classes on stuff I already know a lot about, in order for the possibility of getting a legitimate job?"
"Congratulations, you've figured out life. It's a lot more boring when you can't just punch your problems in the face."
"What next, I have to stay for detention if I boo the professor?"
Before Artemis could retort, Will knocked lightly and stuck his head inside the room. "Hey guys, sorry to interrupt but Lian just finally fell asleep, so if you could keep it down, my sleep-deprived dad self would appreciate it."
"Sorry," Cameron whispered, and Will gave them a beleaguered thumbs up as he closed the door behind him.
"So, you were telling me about why higher education is so great?"
"Wait until you find out about the classes only available for one semester in the school year, or in alternating years. Like that victimology class," Artemis pointed at the screen. "It says right there it's only available in the spring semester every other year."
"Alright, you need to explain this to me. And by this I mean," he gestured to the whole laptop in general, "The entire college experience."
"Oh boy," she said, taking in a deep breath.
She explained the finer details of college bureaucracy to him: Registration dates, withdrawal deadlines, account holds, advisor meetings, outrageous bookstore pricing, etc. All the while Cameron's face turned more and more dour.
"So again: I have to take all these other pointless classes, in order to take these slightly less pointless classes that may or may not teach me something, just so I can get a piece of paper telling people I kind of know something about this topic that I've spent my entire adult life knowing about."
"Well you'd actually be surprised how much you can learn, especially because you're only really familiar with things that are immediately relevant to you. Otherwise, you could always pick a major that wasn't related to crime and really break a sweat."
"Yeah, and one day I'll wake up and you'll tell me you aren't actually a blonde."
Artemis rolled her eyes. "Har har."
"So, this leads to my next question. What website is the best for looking up answers?"
"You know you won't learn anything if you don't actually learn things."
"Remind me again, how many Vietnamese courses did you take being already a native speaker?"
"First off, my Vietnamese wasn't that great so I actually learned stuff, and second, that's totally different!"
"Riiight," he answered, prompting an indignant sounding noise from Artemis. From their the conversation devolved into escalating whisper-insults for several minutes until Lian's cry rang through the house.
Cameron winced. "Uh oh."
They could hear Will let out a long, strangled groan and Artemis was pretty sure she heard Jade hiss in the background.
Cameron eyed the door nervously, as if he was expecting Jade & Will to knock it down in full Cheshire & Red Arrow garb. "I better get out."
"Probably the smartest idea," Artemis said, nodding in agreement.
Cameron managed to sneak out with only one side-glare from an angry parent, and Jade always glared at him anyway, so he called it a win. When he got back to Gotham, the contrast between his cold, impersonal safehouse and the still inexplicable warmth of the Harper residence felt like a slap to the face.
It wasn't the first time he'd noticed it: The more time he spent hanging out with Artemis and seeing how...normal things were in the Harper household, the colder each of his safehouses felt.
Even after getting rid of most of them, and picking one to spend most nights in, it still bothered him. Safehouses were designed to be inconspicuous, impersonal, and easy to evacuate. They were not meant to be comfortable, even if the neighborhoods he had them in felt familiar.
Time for a change.
...
"You want to go house hunting?" Crystal asked incredulously.
"Not house hunting house hunting. I need to find an apartment," Cameron answered.
If he was a normal, law abiding citizen, he'd probably be disturbed with how regularly Crystal managed to cow her cellmates into line, without any sort of intervention from the officers on duty. Or how easily Crystal kept getting her hands on a working phone with access to network coverage in the supposedly most secure prison in the country.
Good thing he wasn't.
"Don't you have a bunch of safe houses?" she asked, still sounding a little bewildered.
"Yea, but all of them are sketchy," Crystal scoffed at that answer and he hastily added "And half of them are my dads, and I stopped paying the bills for those. Besides, I already shelled out for a legit ID, and sooner or later my sketchy housing history is going to raise flags on this identity."
"So how much of this is really about keeping your ID clean, and how much is because of all that time your spending with your middle school girlfriend?" she asked teasingly. Cameron could visualize the coy smile on her face as she sat in her cell bed, burner cell in one hand and her poor cellmate's ramen noodles probably in the other.
"First of all, she wishes she was my middle school girlfriend, and second of all this isn't about her. I'm seriously tired of living like I'm on the run for no reason."
"Speaking of which, what exactly is going between you and your dad kiddo? He's getting annoyed, and one of his recent deals didn't get closed." Her tone got lower, more serious. "People are starting to talk. Word is you aren't answering his phone calls. Or phone calls from other people."
Cameron felt a flare of irritation light in his chest, spreading throughout his body. "If people are talking, that's his problem. And if he can't find some lackey to run his errands, that's also his problem. I'm done being his errand boy."
"You tell him that?" Crystal asked, her voice now a touch softer than before.
Not in so many words Cameron thought. "I think he's getting the message."
"Be careful kid. Your dad can be nasty, and petty. Especially if he starts to feel embarrassed."
"Trust me, I know."
The line was silent for a stretch, long enough for Cameron to wonder if she'd lost service, before she spoke up again, tone back to normal. "So, apartment hunting? You've got a nice stash, so you're gonna want an apartment with the laundry in-unit. And stainless steel appliances."
"Hold up, let me get a pen. I need to write this down."
He could feel the eye roll through the phone. "What would you do without me kid?"
"I'll let you know when I figure that out."
A/N: Crystal is Cameron's mom/sister figure and that is my fanon.