~We all eat up lies when our hearts are hungry~

I stayed a couple of nights at Edward's place before heading back home.

Things were a lot better between us. Edward was more open with me; there was a release off of him. I could tell that he was relieved that he didn't need to put his mask on and walk on pins and needles around me; he could just be himself and not let this secret of his eat him alive. He didn't have to be afraid of losing me anymore.

We spent some time with his parents and Alice – as if literally, nothing happened. They had a weird dynamic, but nonetheless they absolutely loved each other and would do anything for one another.

When I arrived back home, Charlie was still pretty furious with me and we didn't talk for a few days. Eventually, we were able to make amends, he still didn't like the idea of Edward and I together but he wasn't going to punish me into leaving him – not like it would work anyway, but Charlie isn't heartless like that.

I know deep down, he wants what's best for me and is protective considering what I've already been through. He just wants me to be happy.

Jake's been calling my phone off the hook lately; I feel really shitty, I've been a bad friend. I miss the gang so much and I'm kind of upset with myself that I've been so concerned and consumed with Edward that I've distanced myself from them.

I'm starting to realize how unhealthy it is that we only rely on and have each other. I know Edward isn't keen on getting to know anyone else in this town due to his trust issues but I need to still have a balance of my own life.

We'll crash before we even begin - if we only have each other to live for.

The group has been in my life for so long and have been the only steady constant ones in my life. We've been through so much together and they always had my back, no matter what – even during the hardest times.

"Bells? Holy fuck you're alive! I thought that boyfriend of yours had your body buried in a ditch somewhere. I was ready to send out a search team," Jake answers his phone with a deep laugh.

Any other time I would have laughed at his stupid, uncensored jokes but after Edward's revelation; it made me feel uneasy.

"Not funny Jake," I reply more hostile than I intend.

"Whoa Bella, what crawled up your ass?" He retorts before his voice takes on a more concerned tone, "Is everything alright?" Jake is always looking out for me, even when I'm being a massive bitch to him.

"Yeah sorry, just tired. Anyways, I just called to see how you're doing. I know I've been a shitty friend lately; I've just had a lot going on," I said remorsefully.

"I know, we've all missed you Bells. Hope you can start coming around again soon. That Edmund guy better not steal all your time or I'll kick his ass," he jokes but I can hear the hint of jealousy in his voice.

"Ugh, it's… Edward," I emphasize.

Yeah, whatever it doesn't matter," he responds nonchalantly.

Jake has wanted me since we were kids but even though we've hooked up a few times – it was nothing more to me. He's too good of a friend and now that I have Edward to compare to – I don't even know how I was into him in the first place.

Don't get me wrong, Jake is gorgeous and has one of the hottest, most built bodies I've seen with gorgeous russet skin – but he's like a brother to me. He acts like a child and it's great when I want to feel young and have fun, but sexually I need a man, not a boy. There is no chemistry there - at all.

Edward makes me feel the perfect balance of having fun and being sweet, but he also gives me that desire I crave. A man that can take possession of my body and mind, and make me feel things I've never felt before - his urge to protect and fight for me.

Jake will always be in my life though, that will never change.

"I really want to see you, when are you free?" I snap out of my thoughts and ask Jake.

"You can come by in a little bit if you want, I'm here alone."

"K, I'll be there in an hour."

I call Leah, Seth, and a few others from the group, letting them know I miss them and that I'll be coming around soon again; hopefully, next time bringing Edward with me.

Before I'm about to grab my purse and head out the door, my phone begins to ring. I check the screen and a huge smile light's up my face once I see it's Edward.

"Hey baby," I greet him.

"Hey, what are you up to?"

For some reason, I didn't want to tell him I was meeting Jake. Even though there's nothing going on and I had nothing to hide, I haven't discussed much about my friendship with Jake and I could just see Edward making a scene and jumping to conclusions. Especially with how jealous he's got in the past with people I don't even know.

I'll bring him around soon, just not yet. One thing at a time, we're just freshly healing from our last argument – I don't need another one.

"Oh, just running out to get some groceries," I lie. Thankfully he's not here in person because he would be able to tell that I was lying right away – my face always gives it away.

I don't want to base our relationship off of lies, but it's just a little white lie, it won't hurt him, right? Plus, I'm sure he's lied to me before.

"I want to see you tonight." His husky, needy voice sends chills through me. That's the voice he uses when he's so horny and wants to fuck me – hard. Like he needs my body to breathe.

It's only been one day without seeing this man and I'm already desperate for him. I'm so tempted to cancel on Jake and tell Edward to come over right now, but I've already been the worst friend.

That's the whole point why I'm doing this, Edward and I need to focus on things other than our obsession and need for each other. We need to have other people in our life. I can't keep on letting everyone down. It takes everything in me to refuse him.

"Aw, I want to see you too but tonight's not good, I have to run some errands with Charlie and I don't want to get on his bad side considering we just made up. Let's do something tomorrow, ok?"

Guilt eating at me for using Charlie as an excuse, that I know Edward won't even question; as bad as he can be, he doesn't want to fuck up my relationship with my dad.

"Ok… love you," disappointment heavy in his voice.

"Love you," I hang up and head outside to go visit Jake – a weird feeling rushes over me.