Hey, so sorry, totally forgot to update here for a while, I usually post the story on AO3 first. To make up for here get another chapter in 24 hours ;) I also started another story, feel free to check it out. 3

SUE

"Had a good night?" I heard Georgia smack her lips behind me. "Yeah." I just replied without turning around. "When did you sneak in to change?" "You were already gone..." "Alllright."

And that was that. That was the whole conversation after I hadn't shown up the night before. And even though I was blushing hard, I was also smiling. Waking up next to Jin had sent shock waves through my system, but only for a moment. Then I couldn't help but smile while I dug my nose into his chest, him making sleepy noises and putting his arm around me. We stayed in bed for another half hour, but it felt longer. Back in my room I had a quick shower and realized that I would be wearing a scarf for a few days because Jin had left some really pretty marks on my neck. I hadn't dared to, fearing the wrath of makeup Noona, even though there was no way she would know who was responsible.

I didn't end up in Jin's bed every night after that, but probably every second. By the time we got to Paris, I was basically beaming non-stop. This was real. This was happening. And when we got to the hotel that day and we were both exhausted and just wanted to sleep and I wanted to head to my room he just held my hand, looking at me, his head tilted to the side, puppy eyes. Convincing me to stay with him even if we kept our clothes on without any words. I didn't mind at all. The next day I was incredibly tired because we had ended up asking each other questions for hours because it was hard to stop once you started. The way his mind worked was just too interesting to stop and he seemed to feel the same. Sharing whispered secrets while lying next to each other, his head on my shoulder, was about the happiest I had been in years. Jin was tired as well and when the others noticed during rehearsals because he kept making mistakes I could basically feel the tension. I didn't want to regret last night but I knew this couldn't happen again. He had to be able to focus, there was a lot of pressure on them always, but especially during tour.

I could tell Jin was a little upset by the probably valid criticism. He did his best - so much was clear - but he got more and more upset and when he had half an hour to take a nap he was too upset to do anything more than lying on the couch, his eyes closed. I only noticed these things on the side, filming kept me busy and time was flying. When we headed to Stade de France we were late and everyone was in a bad mood. Moments full of tension like that usually made me quiet and I tried to disappear again. For once I didn't mind at all. Thinking I was keeping myself busy, by the early evening I had freaked myself out enough to be sure that Jin was mad at me. That everyone was mad at me. When we bumped into each other backstage he didn't talk to me, didn't even look at me. The fact that I was constantly looking down kept me from even having considered whether any of my wild thoughts were actually true.

When it was time for the show we all thought they had calmed down, but towards the second half, Jin made one mistake after another, to a point where he didn't even have his facial expressions under control. Heading towards an outfit change he walked straight into Yoongi who was the wrong person to be messing with during a tense situation. I heard them arguing before I even saw them. "Get it together, man, we have no time for this bullshit." My eyes shot over to Jin, I could see that he was about to explode after Yoongi had said that, but instead he stayed quiet, finished the concert and then disappearing before we went for dinner.

Sad I spent a good ten minutes ignoring what probably was an amazing dish in front of me. The atmosphere wasn't as light as it usually was after a show, but it was quite obvious people tried to lift the mood. Jin's absence was only commented on as positive. "Let him let off some steam..." Namjoon said, glancing at Yoongi and then - to my surprise - at me. It almost felt like an order in my head. And since I was still sure he was mad at me I didn't call him, didn't even text. If he needed some time to himself that was okay, right? Also, I was scared, it was as simple as that. So I ate my food and listened to Jimin's friends who lived in Paris convincing us to come to a party with them. Small party. Private party. I could basically see all alarm bells ringing in everyone's eyes, but also that Jimin really wanted to go. Honestly, most of them felt like it, but it took some convincing. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to join them but staying behind at the hotel alone would only lead to me overthinking things even more, so I agreed to come later. For now, I stayed at the restaurant with Ollie.

Alcohol had never been my friend. That slight comfortable buzzing sensation was something I had only experienced a few times. Most of the time I was either still sobber or - less often - way too drunk. It was like there was a switch being flicked around and then it was too late, even though I didn't even drink that much. But that day I somehow managed, maybe also because my friends were doing their best to cheer me up. Even though we hadn't talked about it they could tell I wasn't doing well. Time flew and when we left the restaurant it was after 2 AM... I had never seen waiters so happy for people to leave a place, but I convinced myself that they probably didn't mind the large tip after having BigHit book the whole place for the night. I couldn't help myself, I texted Jin in the car. Whether he wanted to come as well. Get his mind off things. Make peace with the day and everyone and himself. A response came soon, but not from Jin but Hobi, who had posted a picture of the party in the group chat. They were dancing at some fancy apartment, apparently having a good time and Jin was in the background raising a glass. Maybe they had convinced him to come and picked him up on the way?

I let out a deep sigh, my breath fogging up the cab window next to me a little. And when Ollie put her arm around my shoulder for no reason I actually smiled. Maybe going out was a good idea, maybe it would be fun. When we got out of the car Ollie and I just stared at the facade of the building and I felt the urge to double-check whether we were at the right address. "Who are these people..." Olivia murmured next to me when we entered. Hanging out with rich people was something that had never been part of my life, more so over the last couple of months though, but this felt different. Fancy, very fancy. Old European money fancy. How underdressed was I...

There were a lot more people than I had expected, the huge apartment didn't necessarily felt crowded, but it was hectic enough that it took me a while to realize Jin wasn't anywhere to be seen. For a while, I stood outside on the balcony with some of Jimin's friends and Kookie, but eventually, I started walking around the apartment. I didn't want to admit to myself that I was looking for Jin, but I definitely was.

"Could have sworn I saw him a minute ago singing in front of a mirror in the kitchen." Yoongi just said when I bumped into him in the hallway, without me even having to ask the question. I smiled at him and he smiled back and that was when I realized I had never talked to him before. Not properly. Honestly, I think I was a little scared of him. But he smiled and patted my back while walking past me as if we were friends and that made me smile. By the time I got to the kitchen the smile had turned into a full-blown grin but then there was no one. I was about to leave when I realized there was another room adjacent to the kitchen. A pantry perhaps. I only noticed because I heard a voice.

Shaking my head at myself because I almost had been so desperate to find Jin that I was now checking stranger's pantries I was about to leave again when I heard it. His laugh. And it really was his laugh, there was no way of mistaking that. Unsure I stood there for a second, gnawing at my thumb, then taking the few steps and just opening the pantry door.

Great.

She was almost as tall as him. And about every stereotype of a fashionable - beautiful - French girl. Seriously, I would have felt bad making her up in my mind. But there she was. Fake fur coat and amazing hair and Jin's hand on her ass while they were making out. I was so surprised, not only did my smile freeze on my lips, my hand let go of the door automatically, it swinging back and closing and before I realized what I was doing I had left the kitchen.

OLLIE I wish I hadn't been so tired. The party was fun but I couldn't help yawning every other minute and even after I had managed to make the fancy espresso machine in the kitchen work I knew I wouldn't last long anymore. Tomorrow we would be filming some interviews in the afternoon and the knowledge that no one had to get up as early as it had become normal seemed to revive the spirits. I had basically never seen Jimin so much in his element. Surrounded by friends and the other guys, the music a mix of French and Korean and from what I could gather everyone seemed to behave. The few times strangers took pictures on their phones someone rushed to them making sure nothing would end up on Instagram. I didn't want to be a party pooper so I just hoped that that would be enough. They deserved to have some fun, feel "normal". Even if "normal" in this case merely meant to celebrate in an absurdly expensive Paris apartment. Which probably was far from normal...

"Want to head home?" Namjoon asked, putting an arm around my shoulder after a particularly big yawn. "Yeah, I think so. But you can stay. How are you not tired?" I kind of knew the answer. That he really was tired as well but enjoyed the company. The boyfriend of the woman who owned the apartment was an art history PhD and Namjoon had spent half the night nerding out with him, finally, someone who did not only listen to his enthusiastic descriptions of some exhibition he had seen but actually knew what he was talking about... "You sure?" I nodded with a smile. "Go, talk about forceful brushstrokes and connections to early impressionism." Joon chuckled and after he kissed me good night I said my goodbye to some people, found my coat after quite a bit of searching and headed to the elevator. Trying to call an Uber I almost bumped into Sue who was also waiting. "Oh, shit... sorry..." I murmured, a little embarrassed at how much I had focused on my phone. "Are you also heading back to the hotel?" When she turned around I could tell that something was going on, but I honestly thought she was just really tired as well. The fact that she hardly spoke two words in the cab didn't seem particularly unusual, she was often quiet, especially when she was tired. We said our goodbyes in the hallway and when I finally fell into the big bed in Namjoon's room I didn't mind at all having it all to myself for a few hours. Falling asleep next to Joon - or on top of him - was something I cherished more than I cared to admit, but right this second I just enjoyed taking up as much space as I wanted. And it wasn't long before I dozed off.

When I woke up because my phone was vibrating right next to my head it took me a second to understand what was happening, where I was. It felt like I had only just fallen asleep, but a glance at a clock next to the bed only made me answer the phone quicker. Why was Namjoon calling me at five in the morning? "Hey, are you okay? Where are you?" Laughter from the other side. "Okay, just because I am calling you doesn't mean I have gotten into an accident or fell down some stairs, yeah?" I growled at him, letting my head sink back into the pillow. "It is 5 in the morning and I am still half asleep, I think a little concern is only appropriate." "Yeah, maybe... and I actually need your help." "Oh?" "I am in a cab with Jin and I don't think I can get him to his room by myself." "What?" "He is... I think wasted is an understatement. And I could probably give him a piggyback ride but not without drawing quite a bit of attention." I could hear it in his voice, Namjoon wasn't sobber either. "Ehm, sure. I can meet you guys downstairs? When will you be there?" "In about twenty minutes?"

When I got up I could still feel the last reminisce of alcohol in my blood. It made me dizzy when I tried to get into my jeans and so I sat down to put on my shoes. In the elevator down I tried to smooth down my hair a little but I figured it didn't matter anyway what I looked like to hotel staff helping a very drunk Jin upstairs. It was cold outside, but at least I didn't have to wait too long. When I opened the car door Namjoon was apologizing to the driver while Jin was also talking to him but in Korean. Jesus, I had never seen him like this. As soon as he noticed me he gave me a big hug, basically falling into my arms which almost made my knees buckle. With a loud "Hey...easy!" Namjoon grabbed him from behind and saved us both from falling. Somehow we managed to link our arms with him and march through the lobby, at first Jin was still laughing, but then basically collapsed against the elevator wall. He let out a little whimper which made me frown and I pushed his hair out of his face. "Hey, it's fine. You just need some sleep, okay?" Another whimper. "I did something bad." Surprised I looked over at Namjoon who shook his head and then shrugged his shoulders to show that he had also no idea what he was talking about. "No, you had a rough day. Once in a while it doesn't matter. You just have to sleep it off..." I tried to assure him. Finding his room key card was a bit of a challenge but after we had dropped him in his bed and taken off his shoes he seemed to doze off pretty quickly.

"Oh my god, I am exhausted. I basically carried him from the apartment to the street and then for another ten minutes because there just weren't any taxis." Namjoon said as soon as we had stepped out to the balcony to catch a breath of air. The morning hadn't broken yet but the view over Paris was quite a sight. I leaned against the railing, taking a deep breath in. "How is your shoulder?" Joon looked down as if I had caught him doing something bad. But I wasn't going to scold him, of course, he had helped his friend, who wouldn't have. Gently I pushed my hand across his shoulder, it was chilly, but I didn't want to go back inside yet. "What the hell happened?"

Joon was yawning. "Don't know. I only noticed how drunk he was when there was only a handful of people left. I figured I better take him back with me." He put an arm around my waist, drawing me in closer. "Sorry to wake you up." "No, it's fine. Of course, I am glad you did." Now I was yawning as well, which made us both laugh. "Okay, bedtime. I think I am going to stay here with him though. Just in case." I couldn't help smiling. "You are a pretty great friend, you know that Kim Namjoon?" Joon chuckled. "You are pretty great all-around actually." He looked down at me now, not sure where the praise was coming from all of a sudden, but it seemed to both amuse and confuse him. "I love you."

There it was. A moment as special - considering the view - as undignified - considering what we had just done. I hadn't even thought about it much, it just felt right. "Ollie..." Joon murmured, almost sounding surprised. "I mean it. I love you a lot." He was chuckling before he pulled me into a tight hug. "Love you too. Why now? How am I supposed to let you go now?" "Well. Bad timing is our thing, right?" "Sure..." "The bed is big enough for the three of us..." I said but had started to laugh before I had even ended the sentence. Fully aware that that wouldn't happen. But it made him laugh as well before he kissed me and we just stood there for a while.

When I walked back to our room my body was overwhelmed with everything. I tried to keep my eyes open a little longer after I had gotten back into bed. So I would remember what this had felt like, every detail of it. But I had no chance. I think it was John Green who had written in one of his books that you fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly and then all at once.