*It's a beautiful afternoon in the constantly shifting expanse of the pocket dimension known as Jay's Workspace. As the sun shines down from on high, R.J. "Jay" Writing Ink is looking at a massive wall lined with photographs and various images, all of which have various signatures written on them. However, he then looks at one and decides to take it down.
Jay: Sorry, dude, but I just can't let you be on here anymore. You don't deserve it.
*With a heavy heart, Jay then reaches out and takes down the photograph before putting up a sign that says "Reserved for Ninjamac" as Janna walks into the hallway.
Jay: But at least you'll be replaced with someone more worthy soon.
Janna: Hey, Jay, the next chapter is about to start, so Kermit and Omnitraxus wanted me to come and get you. What are you doing, anyway?
Jay: Oh, hey, Janna. I was just making room on my Wall of Fame. It's where I keep all the autographs and photo's I've gotten signed by celebrities over the years.
Janna: Sure looks like you've got a lot.
*Janna looks around the wall to see several photo's and autographs that Jay has. Some of the notable highlights including Phil Lamarr as Samurai Jack, Sonny Strait of Dragon Ball Z fame, Kevin Conroy, the voice of Batman, and even a comic autographed by Stan Lee.*
Janna: Damn, dude, you sure got a lot. Did you meet all of these people?
Jay: Not all of them. Some of them I bought the autographs from online. Speaking of which, I had to take one down to make room for the autograph I got from Adam McArthur on Streamily.
Janna: Oh yeah! The one with the artwork that your friend, KPRS4Ever, made! But why take one down when you can just snap your fingers and make more room?
Jay: It's because the one I'm taking down is of Vic Mignogna.
*Sure enough, Jay turns the photo around to show that it is of Vic Mignogna*
Janna: Oooh, yeah. Yeah, I would take that down, too. It's too bad, though. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood had one of the best dubs of all time.
Jay: And now it's been unintentionally scarred by the actions of Edward Elric's voice actor. But I will not let events surrounding Vic dampen my love for FMA:B. And speaking of alchemy, today's chapter sees your counterpart finally start down his own path to becoming an Alchemist, Janna.
Janna: So, my handsome twin's ready to have some fun, then? Then why the heck are we still waiting around here? Let's get this chapter started!
Jay: You don't need to tell me twice! And the best part is that this next arc will be spanning three chapters! And I think it's going to be some of my best work yet! Now, Let's get this party started!
It was a beautiful Saturday morning at the Diaz House, and Marcia would have loved nothing more than to spend the day relaxing and pampering herself. Unfortunately, with the arrival of Comet Dragonfly's, the laser puppies, Coryn the Hoothoot, and the tiny blue man called Glossaryck, the idea of a nice, quiet weekend went straight out the window. Whenever the weekend rolled around, Comet would do one of three things:
Explore Echo Creek.
Take Marcia or some other friends dimension-hopping.
Try to liven things up around the Diaz House.
This Saturday, it seemed like Comet wanted to do option 3, as he was running all over the house grabbing random stuff and dragging it off to his bedroom. At first, Marcia tried to ignore her roommate's antics and focus on brushing her hair. Eventually, though, the noise (and her curiosity) finally brought her out of her room and into the hallway. She opened her bedroom door in time to see Comet run towards his room with a bunch of snacks, notebooks, and for some reason, a Funko Pop figure of Captain America.
"Okay, I'll bite: Comet, what the heck are you even doing right now?" she dared to ask.
"Can't talk right now, Marcy. I've got to get everything ready for when Alfonso and Ferguson show up!" Comet said as he jogged in place.
"Wait, Al and Ferg are coming over? How come I never heard about this?" Marcia asked, a little confused and a little hurt that Comet was inviting her two friends over to her house without telling her.
"I didn't tell you last night? I thought I did," Comet thought back to the night before, trying to remember if he gave Marcia the memo. After a few seconds of thought, he shrugged his shoulders in nonchalance. "Oh well. They're coming over so we can collaborate on this project we have for our science class." Before Marcia could even question him, he ran back into his room, only to return to the hallway seconds later, empty-handed for more supplies.
"Hold up! Time out!" Marcia held out her hand to get Comet to stop in his tracks. "You're telling me you invited Alfonso and Ferguson over to this house so that you three could work on a science project together?" Even saying it out loud, Marcia still couldn't believe it.
"Yep," Comet simply said.
"But it's Saturday. And you're never this excited to do schoolwork on the weekend!" Marcia pointed out. "Who are you, and what have you done with my best friend?!" Marcia began to shout at the shape-shifting imposter that she was certain had taken her friend's place.
Comet chuckled as Marcia began to have a mini-freakout. "Trust me, Marcia. If you knew what the three of us had planned, you'd understand why I'd be excited about this."
"I just wish you'd be this excited with your magic lessons, Comet. Heaven knows that you need to work on your basics," Glossaryck said, suddenly appearing before them as he snacked on a pudding cup. "By the way, you're going to want to answer the front door. I'm expecting someone."
"Front door? What are you-" Comet was cut off by the familiar sound of the front doorbell ringing. "Oh, that must be Al and Ferg. I'll get it!" And with that, Comet then ran downstairs to answer the doorbell while Marcia just looked at the pudding cup that Glossaryck was eating.
"Is that one of the pudding cups from our fridge?" Marcia asked accusingly.
"Yeah, I was running a bit low on supplies, and rather than waste my time going to the store, I just went ahead and helped myself to your fridge," Glossaryck admitted this without any sense of guilt whatsoever.
"You are so lucky my parents don't charge you rent money, little man," Marcia told him before walking downstairs to join Comet.
"And what makes you think that I even have money to begin with?" Glossaryck countered as he followed behind her.
"Yo, Alfonso? Ferguson? Is that you guys?" Marcia cried out as she reached the top of the stairs. "You know, you guys could've given me a heads up before coming over here. Comet may have invited you, but this is still my family's house."
"Well, to be fair, I did tell you I was coming over earlier this week." That was not Alfonso or Ferguson. Instead, standing in the front door with usual, half-lidded smirk, was Jonah. "Sup, Diaz?"
"Oh, great. And now Jonah's here in my home. That's just what my Saturday needed," Marcia said, making sure that the beanie-clad boy noted how sarcastic she was being.
"Easy, Diaz. I won't be long. Although, if you're inviting me to stick around, I'd be more than happy to spend some time together," Jonah teased. Marcia was not amused.
"Hard pass," Marcia bluntly told him, not interested in his flirting/messing with her.
"Fair enough. I'm just here to pick up Glossaryck."
"Why?" Marcia said, her voice dripping with suspicion. In her mind, Jonah plus Glossaryck did not seem like something the world was ready to handle.
"Well, if you'll recall, Marcia, I purchased those various books on alchemy and the occult during our excursion to Quest Buy," Jonah reminded her, making her groan in annoyance. She had hoped that he would have given up on those books by now, but he had not. "Since my attempts to study them on my own have failed, I've been forced to seek outside aid. And as Glossaryck promised during the Mewberty Incident, he's going to help me fulfill my destiny and become the Raven Alchemist."
"Wait, Raven Alchemist? That's what you're going by?" Marcia had to fight back the urge to laugh at that moniker. For someone who loved to tease Marcia, Al, and Ferg for their geeky interests, that nickname sounded like something straight out of an MMO or D&D campaign.
"Hey, if I'm going to be a universally renowned alchemist, then just 'Jonah Ordonia' isn't going to cut it. I'm going to need an appropriate title that will let everyone know who I am. And as a student of the likes of Edgar Allan Poe and John Keats, it seems fitting."
"Now, now, let's not get ahead of ourselves," Glossaryck said as he joined everyone else. "Now, did you bring what we discussed?" he questioned Jonah, who merely shrugged.
"Nah, it's back at my place. But I did bring this chocolate-vanilla swirl pudding cup as compensation for the journey there." Like a promise, Jonah pulled the pudding cup and a plastic spoon from the pocket on his jacket.
Glossaryck studied the pudding cup for a brief moment before shrugging his shoulders. "I'll allow it," he admitted before turning to Comet and Marcia. "Well, if you two don't need me for anything else, then I'll be teaching the delinquent how to use alchemy. Don't wait up for me!" Glossaryck then floated beside Jonah as he began the short walk back to his house, with the former starting to chow down on the pudding cup as the latter got the spoon ready.
"Comet, do you think we should be worried about the consequences of what we've just done?" Marcia asked in concern.
"No. Why should we?" Comet responded.
"Because Jonah's already enough of a troublemaker as he is. Imagine what he could do if he were to master alchemy or whatever it is he's trying to do!" Marcia shuddered at that very prospect.
"Come on, Marcia. I'm pretty sure that we can trust Jonah with something like that," Comet said as he placed his faith in the human boy. And he meant it. Since coming to Earth, Jonah had proven himself one of Comet's most reliable friends, even saving his butt on a few occasions. He trusted him completely. "And besides, Glossaryck's taught my family for centuries on how to use magic. I think he can handle the likes of Jonah Ordonia."
"For everyone's sake, Comet, I hope that you're right."
"Oh, that was simply delicious! In all the eons I've existed, I never thought to come up with a chocolate-vanilla swirl pudding," Glossrayck said as he happily finished the last of the pudding cup Jonah gave him. The two of them didn't get much of a chance to talk during the short walk to Jonah's house, as Jonah had to feed the magical entity the pudding as they were walking. By the time little blue man finished, they were still roughly half a block from his house. With his new mentor seemingly satisfied for the moment, Jonah decided to go ahead and get an answer to something he'd been curious about for some time.
"So, I've got to ask, wise one: why pudding?" Janna said as Glossaryck finished cleaning himself off. "I get that it's super delicious, but you scarf it down like your life depends on it."
Glossaryck's eyes widened a little bit in surprise before he began to chuckle. "You know, it's funny. You're one of only a handful of people in existence that's ever thought to ask me that question," he told the human boy, genuinely impressed. "You see, I am not just the teacher to the Dragonfly family and keeper of their spellbook. I am an entity made out of pure, raw magic. I doubt you would know what it's like, but exposure to magic in its purest form can eventually mess with a person's mind. It makes you go all loopy in the head." For emphasis, Glossaryck started making a circular motion around his temple. "However, pudding manages to counteract these loopy side effects, so I must eat it regularly."
"So, it's like a prescription that you have to take regularly. And it just so happens to be your favorite food. I can totally see that being a thing," Jonah freely admitted. "At any rate, we're here."
Sure enough, the pair had arrived at the front door to a relatively normal-looking white house, one that Jonah called home. Without wasting any time, Jonah opened the front door.
"Mom, Dad, I'm home," he called out to his parents as he entered the house with Glossaryck in tow and began to make his way to the stairs. As they passed the living room, Jonah peaked his head inside to look at his parents relaxing on the couch. Despite whatever rumors that may have spread throughout Echo Creek (many of which he had started), Jonah was not the spawn of vampires or something drudged up from a Lovecraftian horror novel. Nope, his parents were perfectly normal humans.
"Oh, hello, son. How was your visit to your friend's house?" His dad, a Filipino man with glasses and a tan golf shirt, asked as he sipped from his cup of tea.
Jonah just shrugged. "It was productive. I got everything that I needed," he admitted, neither of those answers being a lie. "So, I'm going to be up in my room with my new science mentor doing some research. Don't worry if you hear any weird noises coming from upstairs."
"Of course, dear. Be sure to be nice to your new friend, Jonah," his mom, a Filipino woman with a bob cut and blue golf shirt, said as she smiled at her son. Jonah couldn't help but give off a soft smile in response before heading up the stairs with Glossaryck.
"Well, they certainly seem nice, if not a little on the boring side," Glossaryck observed as he floated alongside the boy. "Though I must admit, I'm surprised that they accepted what you said so casually."
"Well, when you've spent your entire life researching the weird and the unknown like I have, then these kinds of things are par for the course," Jonah said with a casual shrug of his shoulder. "They know I can take care of myself, so there's no need for them to worry about me. Not that they could actually stop me, though." Jonah let a mischievous twinkle sparkle in his eyes as he added this last comment, something that did not go unnoticed by Glossaryck.
"Hmmm..." the magical entity pondered. "Well, I can certainly see why my student's taken such a liking to you, young man," he noted with amusement, making Jonah smile as he began to reflect on how it seemed like everything in his life brought him to this moment.
For as long as he could remember, Jonah knew that he wanted to stand out from everyone else. He looked at the mundanity of life in Echo Creek, with its endless cycle of school, work, chores, and all-too-brief weekends and felt indifference to it, at best, disdain at the worst. He wanted more out of life than what it seemed to have to offer him. It helped that, early on, he found someone easy to mess with in the form of Marcia, but finding ways to push her buttons (he thought she looked cute when she got mad) could only go so far. So, the first chance he got, he began to study the occult and the supernatural. While most people didn't believe in myths and the otherworldy, Jonah remained convinced that there was a Universe full of weirdness waiting for him to discover.
And then, as though the Universe decided to reward him, along came Comet Dragonfly. In one instant, Comet proved everything Jonah knew about the Universe to be true. Magic, Monsters, other dimensions, all of them were real! And now that he had someone who was more than happy to indulge in his research into weirdness, he wasn't going to let this chance pass. One day, he would explore every corner of the Universe and make sure everyone knew (and feared) his name, and becoming an alchemist was the first step towards realizing that goal.
Jonah was brought out of his musings as they reached the door to his bedroom. "Well, here we are, Professor. Welcome to your new classroom for 'Alchemy 101'," Jonah dryly joked before opening the door to let them in.
In contrast to how bright and inviting the living room had been, Jonah's bedroom was dark, foreboding, and gothic. The walls were a dark olive-green that matched his beanie and covered with things that ranged from macabre pictures of skulls and demons to bizarre art prints of anime like Attack on Titan and Jujutsu Taisen that he managed to buy online using Marcia's laptop. In one corner of the room lay the disassembled pieces of a monster truck's engine that he'd salvaged a while back. Propped up next to them was a stand that contained, among other things, a mace, spear, and a replica of a traditional Filipino sword called a Kampilan.
The various desks and shelves were just as weird as the rest of the room. Besides books on the occult and the supernatural, Jonah had also stuffed them with everything from skulls to idols of ancient deities. On one of the shelves was a container that housed a giant centipede. Jonah somehow roped Jackson into helping him catch it on school grounds one day, and he'd kept it as a pet ever since, giving it the name "Senor Spiky." All told, his room was a reflection of Jonah's self-proclaimed creepy and weird nature, just the way he wanted it to be.
"All right, then," Glossaryck said as he took a quick look around the room. "Before we get started, I believe that you promised me something. What did you call it, again? Jel-low?" Glossaryck tapped his chin as he tried to recall the name of the food that Jonah bribed him with.
"It's called 'Jell-O,' actually," Jonah clarified as he began to reach underneath his bed. "J-E-L-L-O. Got it memorized?" he asked as he continued to rummage under his bed. At last, he found what he'd been looking for and sat back up, holding out a pack of strawberry-flavored Jell-O cups. "Here you go, Papa Smurf. Knock yourself out," he said in a very neutral tone.
Glossaryck floated over to Jonah and began to look over the strange, new dessert with interest. He eyed it up from top to bottom before carefully peeling back the lid to one of the cups. Slowly, he poked at the cup's viscous contents, only to be mildly surprised when the substance jiggled in response to his touch. When he saw that it would not react like pudding, Glossaryck began to sniff it, intrigued by the faint, fruity aroma. After doing this for some time, Glossaryck then held out his hand. "Spoon, please." Jonah knew better than to argue with the little man and grabbed a clean spoon he had on hand and scooped out a piece of Jell-O before holding it out for Glossaryck. The little blue man took a bite.
"So, what do you think?" Jonah asked him as Glossaryck just floated there, motionless.
What's going on in Glossaryck's head
Play Family Guy Parody Clip of "And I Feel" watch?v=FKLx3XDgVgI
~And I feel like I just got home
And I feel
And I feel like I just got home
And I fee-ee-ee-lll!~
End clip
The pupils on Glossaryck's eyes began to widen as he began to smile. He had never had anything as unique and delicious as this in all of his eons of existence! Only the desserts made by Comet's grandpa Corvus surpassed this! Throwing the spoon to one side, Glossaryck began to happily scarf down the Jell-O, having abandoned all sense of table manners as Jonah looked on in amusement.
"So I take you like it?" Jonah asked, though he already the answer he would get.
"I wouldn't say I like it, but I would say that it's one of the best things I've ever tasted," Glossaryck told him as he finished the contents of the cup. "You, young man, just got yourself an alchemy teacher!"
Jonah smirked, knowing that he had the magical entity eating out of the palm of his hand. Quite literally.
"Now, if you would just let me eat the rest of these cups, we can begin!" Glossaryck said before eyeing the other Jell-O cups with hunger. Jonah didn't hesitate to let him go nuts on the other cups. While he was busy with that, the beanie-wearing teen made himself useful and went to get some supplies. Walking over to one of his bookshelves, Jonah pulled out the alchemy book that Comet got him at Quest Buy, along with a few basic materials. If alchemy was anything like he had read about online, then he would likely need them.
Spongebob Narrator: One Food-Scarfing Scene Later
As Glossaryck finished the last of the Jell-O, he finally joined Jonah, who had been sitting on the floor and waiting for him so that they could begin. Jonah had managed to assemble a good number of supplies. Besides the book, he had also gotten materials such as a block of wood, a few bricks, a sheet of metal, along with some writing utensils. Glossaryck carefully eyed up what his new protege had gathered before finally speaking.
"Not too bad, kid. You've certainly managed to get enough stuff for us to use as practice," he said thoughtfully. "Before we get started, though, I need to know what I'm dealing with here."
"You mean you want me to tell what I know about Alchemy so you can adjust your teaching methods to achieve the best results?" Jonah asked, making Glossarcyk blink a little in surprise. "What? The best teachers are the ones who change their styles to fit the individual needs of their students. And since you've been teaching Comet's family for centuries, I figured that was your whole M.O.," Jonah explained his rationale. "Of course, if I'm wrong about that-"
"No, no, that's fine, you're completely right. It's just that I got caught a little off-guard. You'd think that after centuries of serving them, the Dragonfly family would have caught on to that and would stop trying to question my methods," Glossaryck complained. "At least one of them did," he muttered under his breath before getting back on track. "So, please continue."
"All right, then," Jonah responded before beginning. "So, in ancient times, people believed that everything in existence came from four or five basic elements: water, earth, fire, air, and eventually, aether. While this idea was incorrect, there was one thing we got right: that everything in the Universe is made from the elements found in nature. Then, a few centuries ago, we figured out that by breaking down or combining different elements, we could use them to create something new. That led to the birth of alchemy, with its end goal being the creation of the Philosopher's Stone."
"Philosopher's Stone?" Glossaryck questioned.
"This super-powered element that people thought was the powerful thing in existence. It is probably because it can allegedly do things like turn metal into gold, grant immortality, etc.," Jonah casually explained. "We could never figure out how to do it, though, so it was a lost cause. At any rate, we eventually came up with the concept of the Periodic Table of Elements that organizes all the known elements in the Universe. And bam, alchemy eventually gave way to the modern-day concepts of chemistry and other forms of science" Jonah then took a breath as he finished. "So, how's that?"
Glossaryck looked at Jonah, taking in everything that the boy had told him before nodding his head. "Not bad, kid. I'm a little impressed that you humans could figure all that out without access to the rest of the Universe. At the very least, you guys got a good grasp of the basics."
"So everything I just said was right?"
"There were a few things that you missed, but yeah. That was more or less the basic principles behind alchemy. That should be enough for me to work with, though I must warn you: magic and alchemy are two entirely different concepts. As such, my knowledge on the latter is not as great, so there's no telling how helpful I will be."
"So what's the difference between the two? Wouldn't it make more sense for me to learn how to use magic?" This got a small laugh out of Glossaryck.
"You wouldn't be able to learn magic even if you wanted to, kid. The only way to do that is by being born with an innate capacity to use it like the Dragonfly Family or other beings can," the little man explained.
Jonah nodded his head as he heard this. "Yeah, Comet mentioned something about that after we got back from Quest Buy. According to him, his ancestor's found this magical goo that connected to all magic in the Universe that they used to make their Wand."
That's a pretty important secret, known only to a handful of people outside the Dragonfly family, Glossaryck thought to himself. On the one hand, he knew Comet's father would be mad at his son giving away such valuable information. However, in his eyes, Glossaryck saw it as a sign that Comet deeply trusted the friends he made on Earth. My student may have found some very loyal and talented allies, Glossaryck mused as he continued.
"Yes, well, unless you either use the Wand, as you have already twice by now, or were directly exposed to pure magic, you wouldn't be able to use magic," Glossaryck finished explaining. "But I digress, as we're getting off-topic again." Glossaryck then waved his hands and conjured an image of a normal-looking person hard at work in some sort of lab. "But you're right: at its core, alchemy is the art of understanding, deconstructing, and reconstructing matter." As he said this, the figure in the image began to perform alchemy, altering a wood block into a wooden statue of themselves.
"So, alchemy exists in the rest of the Universe?" Jonah asked, with Glossaryck nodding his head in response.
"Correct. In fact, to the best of my knowledge, alchemy as a concept came into being in response to the use of magic. Many people saw how powerful magic was, but since it was only available to a handful of people, they started using alchemy as a substitute." The image shown then changed to show another alchemist was facing off against a member of the Dragonfly family. As the Mewman royal fired off a spell from their Wand, the alchemist created a wall of earth to block the oncoming blast.
"So a bunch of people came up with alchemy because they were butthurt over the fact that they couldn't use magic?" Jonah summed it up as best as possible, which got yet another chuckle from the tiny blue man.
"Yes, I suppose that's one way you can look at it," Glossaryck said in amusement.
"Okay, then. How did we ever come up with the concept?" That was one thing that Jonah had been unable to solve.
"I have a theory about that," Glossaryck said as the image changed once more. As Jonah watched, a portal made by dimensional scissors appeared in the middle of a village on medieval Earth. As the villagers watched, a hooded figure stepped out of the portal and performed alchemy in front of everyone as they began to watch with a mixture of shock and awe. "It's possible that centuries ago, some interdimensional explorer traveled to Earth and showed its inhabitants the basics of alchemy. But since humans didn't fully understand the concept behind the art, they had limited success with making it work." Having said that, Glossaryck waved his hands and dispelled the image shown.
"So, how do you make it work, then?" Jonah asked, wanting to get straight to the point, only for Glossaryck to hold up one of his hands.
"Patience, now. I was getting to that," the bearded figure said before gesturing to the materials that Jonah had previously assembled. "The process of performing alchemy's based on the concept of transmutation, which can be broken into three basic steps: Comprehension, deconstruction, and reconstruction," Glossaryck held up a finger as he counted off each of the steps to transmutation. "Each of them is important to understand, but at their core, they all have to do with the same thing: the use of energy. Like everything else in the Universe, alchemy needs fuel to function properly. No power, no alchemy. Alchemists achieve this by tapping into the inherent energy found in everything in existence." Glossaryck then looked at Jonah. "Pop quiz: what's the name of the tiny pieces of matter found at the heart of everything in the Universe?"
"Well, I don't know what they call them on Mewni or elsewhere, but on Earth, we call them atoms or molecules." Jonah then pulled out a tub of LEGO bricks that he had on hand and began to work with them. "They serve as the building blocks that make up everything in the Universe. On their own, they're small and can't do anything. But like these plastic bricks, when they combine, they can create something far more complex." When he finished, Jonah held out the LEGO bricks, revealing he used them to create a little replica of Glossaryck's head, making the magical entity look on in awe.
"That's correct, Jonah," he said with a smile as he grabbed the book that was sitting in front of Jonah. "According to this book, one of the keys to performing alchemy is a complete understanding of the atomic structure of whatever materials they intend to use. That's the comprehension part."
"Okay, I know that I'm smart, but I don't know if I can memorize the atomic structure of every element in the Universe," Jonah admitted to his teacher, disappointed that his quest to become an alchemist may have already come to an abrupt end. Glossaryck just laughed, though.
"It's alright, kid. That would take months at best and years at worst to master. But neither of us have that kind of time, so I'm just going to zap the knowledge directly into your brain." Glossaryck put down the book before putting his fingers to his temples as the gem in his forehead began to glow. "Now hold still."
"Hold still? Why would I need to-ahhhh!" Before Jonah could finish his sentence, Glossaryck zapped him with a pink ray of magical energy that bore directly into his mind. Instantly, Jonah found his brain flooded with images of the various elements and their molecular structures at impossibly high speeds. After a few seconds that, from Jonah's perspective, felt like an eternity, the assault of knowledge on his brain ceased as Glossaryck brought his hands down.
Jonah clutched his head as he tried to make sense of the knowledge that had been forcibly crammed into his head. "Damn, man. You could have at least given me a heads up before you did that!" Jonah complained.
"Trust me, kid. This will save you a lot of time studying in the future. Now that that's out of the way, there's the next step: deconstruction." Glossaryck then held up the book once more. "By tapping into the energy found in the elements, alchemists then break them down into something more malleable, allowing them to change it into whatever they want. After that comes the final step: reconstruction. That's when they use the energy to reshape the materials into their final shape. You got all that?"
Jonah nodded his head. "I think so: comprehension, deconstruction, and then the reconstruction. But then there's the actual process of performing alchemy. I doubt that someone can't just do this without some sort of system capable of channeling the necessary energy."
"Correct again. That is where we use what's called a transmutation circle. The circle itself serves as a conduit to channel the transmutation process's energy throughout the material used. There are also the runes drawn inside the circle that represent the different elements in nature. Fortunately for you, you can find said runes in this book." Glossaryck then held out the book, having turned it to a specific set of pages. Sure enough, Jonah saw that they contained various transmutation circles for numerous elements.
"No offense, Papa Smurf, but you do know that I can't read whatever language this book's written in," Jonah told him.
"No need to worry. I can just zap your brain again to help you read this stuff. But since doing that to you twice in such a short period could have unintentional side effects, that will have to wait. In the meantime, I recommend we start with practicing transmutation on the stuff you have in front of you." Glossaryck waved his hand and began to levitate the sharpie marker that Jonah had in front of the boy's hand. Jonah took the hint and reached out to grab the writing utensil. "Now, use that sharpie to draw a transmutation circle on that block of wood you've got. Use the book as a reference, and before you ask, it's the one in the top left corner."
Jonah didn't say a word as he got to work. Carefully copying the image in the otherworldly book, Jonah drew the transmutation circle onto the ground's wooden block. As he finished, he heard a hum begin to emanate from the wood while a faint glow came from the circle.
"Okay, now what?"
"Now, remember everything I shoved into your brain, concentrate on what you want to make, and then tap the circle. It will take care of the rest."
Doing as Glossaryck instructed, Jonah closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and began to focus on what he wanted to make. When he finally had a clear picture of his desired creation, he opened his eyes again and tapped the transmutation circle. Instantly, it began to glow and crackle with energy as the circle came to life. The wood around it began to warp and twist like a vine shooting up out of the ground as it began to take a new shape. As Jonah watched, silently mesmerized, the wood finally settled into its final form: a tiny, misshapen statue of Jonah himself.
"Dang it, it didn't work!" Jonah exclaimed in annoyance as Glossaryck eyed his creation carefully.
"I wouldn't be so sure about that, my boy. For someone who has little to no formal training, this was a pretty decent attempt for a first try. A little messed up on the dimensions and some of the finer details, but you may have a natural talent at this." Glossaryck genuinely complimented the teen, only to get another groan.
"Yeah, but there's still so much of the statue that I couldn't add. For starters, I should look way more handsome, and there aren't even any hot demon chicks fawning at my feet!"
Glossaryck laughed out loud when he heard what Jonah had tried to create. "Well, I certainly wasn't expecting to hear that today! At least you've got the creativity aspect down! But having said that, there's a good explanation as to why your statue turned out the way it did. You failed to follow the rules of equivalent exchange properly."
"You mean the concept that says that to create something, we have to use a material of the same mass and molecular makeup as whatever we want to create?" Jonah quickly said.
"Bingo! What you wanted to create was too big for the woodblock to handle. Thus, you got this little misshapen guy. But there's no need to beat yourself up. As I said, it's only your first time, so you can't expect it to be perfect."
"Well, the only way I'm going to get any better at this is through practice. I've just gotta keep at it until I've got the hang of it."
"I take that you have something in mind," Glossaryck said, knowingly raising an eyebrow in anticipation of whatever idea his informal student had planned.
"Yep. What do you see we take this study session on the road?" Jonah asked as he stood up. "We can get meatball subs after we're done," he said to persuade his new teacher to join him in his plans.
Glossaryck gasped as his eyes began to glow while a massive grin broke out on his face. "I'm in!" he excitedly said.
"All right, then, it's settled! We're going to hit the town and practice some alchemy!" Jonah proclaimed before grabbing some paper and a sharpie before the two ran out of his room and out the front door.
"Mom, Dad, me and my science tutor are going to head into town. Don't wait up for me!" the boy shouted as he ran out the door.
"Have fun, sweetie," Mrs. Ordonia yelled as her son dashed down the block in the direction of downtown Echo Creek, Glossaryck happily in tow.
After leaving his house, Jonah wandered around Echo Creek, trying to find more things to use to practice his alchemy. At first, it was a little slow-going, as they had to look for places to practice where they wouldn't get in trouble with the law. Fortunately, Jonah had a knack for avoiding getting caught by authority figures, and since Glossaryck didn't care, it didn't take them long to find places to work.
The first place they stopped was in an alleyway behind the local movie theater. With the knowledge Glossaryck implanted in him, combined with the little man's translation of the alchemy book, Jonah was able to use transmutation to create a platform that carried them up to the roof of the theater. After that, the pair made their way inside and treated themselves to a free movie. After that, the two snuck back out the same way before using alchemy to cover their tracks.
After that, Jonah hit up the skate park where he happened to run into Jackson as he was practicing on his U-Board. It took some persuasion, but Jonah was able to talk Jackson into letting him make some...custom upgrades to the park. It took him longer than he would have wanted, but when everybody saw the massive ramps and half-pipes he made out of the concrete, everyone loved Jonah for it.
In Echo Creek Park, Jonah came across an abandoned old statue and insisted on recreating the figure he tried making with his first attempt with the wood. While he was still upset at being unable to look buffer than normal, he was at least happy that he could add a few hot demon chicks fawning over him. Then, just for the heck of it, he transmuted the plaque, so it now said "Jonah Rulez!"
In between these and many other stops, Jonah practiced on other random objects he found that needed repairs. A cracked sidewalk here, a rusted out swingset there, anything went. However, he did insist on adding his personal touch to all of them. Glossaryck didn't get why he had to add his face to everything, but Jonah just bribed him with more Jell-O to keep quiet.
Eventually, Jonah felt that he had gotten enough practice for the day, and like he promised Glossaryck, they both got meatball subs and went back to the park to enjoy them together.
00000000000000000000000000000
"...And that's the story behind one of the greatest performances in music history," Jonah told Glossaryck as they chowed down on their meatball subs.
"Wow. This 'Live Aid' concert sounds like it was really something." Glossaryck said as he continued munching on his sandwich.
"Yeah. It was legendary. You should hear Karla go on about it all the time," Jonah told him.
"Oh, yeah, that chick with the great taste in gemstones! I like her." Glossaryck said as he recalled the girl that was with Comet during the Mewberty Incident.
The two of them had been sitting in the park and talking about random things for the last half hour, enjoying themselves in the California sun. However, there was still something that Jonah wanted to bring up, but he wanted to wait for the right moment to do so. It's now or never, I suppose, Jonah thought. "So, teach, what's the verdict? Am I wasting my time with this alchemy business, or do I have a shot at doing something worthwhile with it?"
"Well, like I said, alchemy's not my forte. I only know so much because some of Comet's family jotted down notes on it in my spellbook. But from what I've seen, you're pretty good. Just keep practicing at it," he gave his honest opinion as he finished the last of his meatball sub. "But why do you want to be one so badly anyway? It's not like you need to defend yourself that often, and from what I've seen on Earth, you can live a pretty comfortable life if you want."
"Exactly. Living here on Earth's nice and all, but it's also super-boring!" Jonah threw his hands up into the air in frustration. "It feels like my whole life's running on a conveyor belt from the day I'm born until the day I die. I go to school, I graduate, and then I can either join the workforce or head to college and put up with teachers and lessons for a few more years. Then I get a job and work until I finally drop dead."
"And would that really be so bad?" Glossaryck pressed him for an answer.
"For me, yes. I don't want a normal life. I want to go out there, make my mark on the Universe, take everything that it has to offer, and make it mine! But I've been stuck on the long, inescapable path to normality." Jonah shuddered as he uttered that last word. "And then Comet comes into our lives, and just like that, the world opens up for me. And I'm sure as hell not going to let this chance go to waste. I'm going to master alchemy and see the Universe for all its worth!"
Glossaryck couldn't help but laugh at this declaration. "Oh, man! I knew that there had to be a reason why Comet liked you so much, and I can see why! You're fearless, ambitious, and creative. If I didn't know any better, you talk like your long-lost royalty."
"I wouldn't go as far as to call myself royalty, but ruling over my own dark dimension or kingdom is one of my life goals," Jonah admitted, which only made Glossaryck laugh even more.
"I like you, kid. You're probably more fun to hang around with than most of Comet's family." Glossaryck admitted, making Jonah smirk.
"JONAH!" The moment they were having was suddenly broken when the shrill cry of a young woman pierced the air around them. Jonah groaned as he plopped his head on the picnic table he'd been sitting on, for it was a voice that he knew all too well. When he heard it cry out again, he reluctantly looked up to see his worst fears come true. There was Brittney Wong, running as fast as she could towards Jonah, looking like she was about to have a freaking panic attack.
"Jonah! Thank God I found you!" Brittney said once she got close enough for Jonah to hear her. Jonah scowled at her. He had never liked the stuck-up rich girl before, but after the birthday party, he completely loathed her very existence. Even her unexpected help during the Mewberty Incident had done little to temper his dislike of the spoiled heiress. It was only thanks to Comet's insistence on not retaliating that he restrained himself from dishing out what he saw as well-deserved retribution.
Sorry, Comet, but I may have to break that promise, Jonah darkly thought. "All right, look, Wong. I don't know what you want right now, but I have a million other things that are more important than wasting my time talking to you, so please fuck off."
"Look, Ordonia, I know you hate my guts for what I did-"
"Honestly, it's only because of Comet that I haven't made your life the hell it deserves to be," Jonah told her point-blank with zero humorous intent.
"But this isn't about me! Marcia's in trouble!" Brittney tried to explain, only for Jonah to shrug his shoulders.
"So? Marcia's a tough girl. She can take care of herself," Jonah said, making it no secret of his faith in his friend/favorite person to torment.
Brittney, however, would not let the issue go. "You don't understand, Ordonia! She and this other girl she was with got grabbed by a bunch of weirdos that looked like they dressed up for some geeky convention."
"Say what now?" Jonah asked, confused. Marcia was one of the toughest girls he knew. If someone could get the drop on her, then they meant business. "Do you know what they looked like?"
"Well, there was this one little guy that spent a lot of time yelling at everyone else that was wearing this skull on his head. I think I saw him at the party."
Oh, great. Ludo. Jonah mentally cursed the little bird-man as he stood up from the table. Before he could say anything, though, he felt his cellphone vibrate in his pants pocket. Pulling it out in confusion, he saw that he was receiving a FaceTime call from Marcia of all people. Looking at Brittney while masking the worry on his face, Jonah pressed the button to start the call.
Instead of Marcia on the other end, the two teens were met by the cackling face of Ludo.
"SURPRISE! IT IS I, LUDO, RULER OF THE MONSTERS AND SOON TO BE RULER OF THE UNIVERSE!" It took all of Jonah's willpower to keep him from rolling his eyes at the dwarven bird Monster's gloating.
"Ludo, what the hell have you done with Marcia?" Jonah snarled at him, not in the mood for games. Ludo, in response, pretended to look shocked at these accusations.
"Oh, I'm hurt. Truly, I am. Do you honestly think that I would stoop so low as to hurt one of Comet's precious friends?" Ludo said in the most mocking voice possible.
"Yes," Jonah said without hesitation. "And if you don't want to end up in a body cast for the next six months, you'll let her go, right now."
"You don't scare me, kid. None of you do." Ludo replied.
"Uh, actually boss, that kid scares us," an offscreen voice called out to Ludo, who turned around and glared offscreen.
"Shut up, Boo Fly! I don't care if he scares you," he yelled before turning back to the camera. "Now, where was I? Oh yes, my demands!" Jonah and Brittney then watched as Ludo then swung the phone around to reveal Marcia and another girl lying on the ground. The lights were dim wherever they were, so Jonah had a hard time recognizing who it was at first. It didn't take long for him to figure it out, though. Oh shit, that's Aqua! They were unharmed, but their hands were handcuffed behind their backs.
"Ludo, when I get my hands on you, you're going to regret the day you were born, you little-!" Marcia roared without a hint of fear in her voice.
"ZIP IT, BRAT!" Ludo yelled at the girl, who shut up but kept up her glare at him. "Anyway, listen up. Unless you want to see your friends unharmed, you'll tell Comet to come to this address by the end of the night and give up his Wand. And for their sakes, he'd better not try anything!" Ludo then cackled some more before ending the call, leaving Jonah and Brittney floored at what had just transpired.
"So, I was finishing my meatball sub. What was all that about?" Glossaryck asked as he floated over to see what the fuss was about.
Jay: Ohhh, snap! Bet you guys see that coming now, did you? Well, unlike the last time I did an original story arc in this fanfic back in Libertalia, I can assure you all that this cliffhanger was completely intentional this time! And yes, I know I'm a hypocrite, but even I have to acknowledge how effective they are for telling stories.
*Janna, who's been looking at all the events unfolding, just shrugs her shoulders*
Janna: I liked it. It gives the readers something to look forward to that will make them want to come back for the next part.
Jay: Bingo bango, Janna.
Janna: Please don't say that again. It's not cool when you say it.
Jay: Whatever. What did you think of your counterpart's new talents?
Janna: Well, I think that using the rules from Fullmetal Alchemist was a good idea. They're easy to understand, and anyone who's seen the anime or read the manga will be able to catch onto them pretty quickly. Plus, I liked the dynamic you had going between Jonah and Glossaryck. Really sets it apart from what Star and Glossaryck had. Or what Comet and Glossaryck have.
Jay: That was the idea. Now, then, before we leave you guys to ponder this new turn of events, I believe that it's time for some
READER'S REVIEWS
NightAroma-Nope, it was just Father Time's ducks. This was my tribute to one of the best reboot's ever made. Plus, they're all family, so it makes sense. And I think that the trip down memory lane was some of my best work. I actually had to get rid of some scenes because they would have spoiled some things I plan to add in future chapters.
Also, I think this answers how Brittney's doing. She's about to be a big part of what's happening, whether she wants it or not!
The Wandering Hippie-Honestly, Hippie, even though I love their work, I've had a grudge against Disney ever since they bought Star Wars and nixed the Expanded Universe. And I will continue to call it that rather than Legends. But what they did to Amphibia is a great injustice, and someone will likely get fired for it.
And yes, I took the hot Comet idea from your story. I couldn't help myself; it was too good! But I can't believe that you didn't even mention my reference to the Daleks from Doctor Who. BTW, Skye may or may not have encountered them. Hard to tell.
LockAndKey989-Thanks for that, LockAndKey. The flashbacks were some of my favorite things to write! And as for why Brittney stopped being friends with Marcia, it's because Brittney thought that Marcia wasn't worthy of being her friend. Keep reading if you want the specifics.
FungusDungus000-Not to toot my own horn, but I think I did the flashbacks very well. I saw a good opportunity to elaborate on their growth, and I took it. And Disney must pay for Amphibia!
You know what to do: fave and follow this story, and follow me on Twitter (JZ-Gaming), Insta (R.J. Writing Ink), and YouTube (Jungoguy)
See you guys next week! I hope you enjoy seeing how we got into this mess!