At the end of the week, Hiei was scheduled for a psychiatric evaluation in Reikai, one that could, if he said the right things, potentially take him off the suicide "watch list" and get the stupid house arrest lifted. But for a whole week he had to deal with never being left alone in case he was a danger to himself or others, which was really awful, considering some alone time was all he wanted.

He couldn't bear to ask anyone, especially not Yukina, to heal the cuts on his arms, and he certainly didn't have enough demon energy left over to expedite the healing process himself. So he just had to let them heal on their own, slowly, while he covered them with bandages so he didn't have to look at them and feel shame all over again—shame for doing something stupid, for hurting his sister, for letting Kurama get injured…Everything in the house reminded him of Kurama. All the things in their little house were things he had touched, things he had cleaned…Hiei just couldn't seem to accept that Kurama might never touch any of these things again.

In addition to that, the people who were assigned to look after Hiei were obviously just there for that reason: they were assigned. They avoided him barely talked to him, seeming to think that he would come after them next. As if he would ever harm them. But now people were treating him like a freak, like he was crazy and needed to be locked away.

Worst of all, the baby was still just as quiet as ever. Hiei had used the heartbeat monitor Kurama got him, and the baby seemed to be doing fine, but it was clear that he, too, was depressed. Hiei couldn't even cry about it because he didn't want to cry when other people were there, so all he could do was just lay on his side on the couch, curled in a ball, his pain locked inside, wondering when it would be over, when he could finally open his eyes. He hadn't been able to bring himself to sleep in the bed upstairs, since Kurama's side was always empty, and Hiei was afraid the pillows would lose Kurama's scent, and then what would he have?

Why had he tried to do this? Had he honestly thought that Koenma, of all people, would have been able to rescue the baby? And even if the baby had survived, how would it be fair to take away both his parents? Sure, he would have Yukina and Kurama's mom and all their friends, but it wouldn't be the same, and on the odd chance that Kurama woke up, only to find that Hiei had killed himself…This was the worst Hiei had ever felt, especially since the one he would normally go to for help was the one he had lost.

Homura had been by to visit a couple of times, but he never stayed long, and Hiei had been told he wasn't permitted to be on the suicide watch, both because he didn't really know any of them and because Ru-Ru's well-being had to be taken into consideration (whatever that meant). But on Sunday he came to visit, with his daughter in tow. Hiei knew it was a visit of his own volition, too, since Yukina was currently busying herself in the kitchen.

"I thought you weren't part of the suicide watch," Hiei mumbled.

"Well, I'm still allowed to visit," said Homura. "Isn't that right, Ru-Ru?"

"Ew, gross!" said Ru-Ru, waving her hand in front of her nose. "What's that smell?"

Hiei felt his cheeks flush in both embarrassment and annoyance. Leave it to a three-year-old to bring attention to the fact that he hadn't showered or even changed his clothes since he got home from the hospital.

"That's not nice, Ru-Ru," Homura scolded. "I think you owe Hiei an apology."

"Nobody owes me anything," said Hiei. "I know I stink like shit."

Homura sighed and sat next to Hiei on the couch, while Ru-Ru pounced onto a nearby armchair, pinching her nose to block out Hiei's stench. It was no surprise that he didn't really seem to have anything to say, but it was confusing as to why he stayed if he wasn't part of Reikai's ridiculous suicide watch program.

"Just go," said Hiei finally, still refusing to open his eyes or even lift his head up off the couch cushion. Despite himself, one small tear gem materialized and fell to the floor. "Turn away like all the others. I'm a suicidal freak now, remember?"

Hiei honestly expected Homura to get up and leave, but he didn't. Instead, he spoke first to his daughter: "Ru-Ru, why don't you go in the kitchen and see if your older sister has any chocolate to give you?"

"Okay!" said Ru-Ru happily, bouncing off the armchair and onto the floor, then speeding into the kitchen. Once she was out of the room, Hiei was surprised that Homura still stayed.

"You're not a freak, Hiei," he said slowly. "I didn't want to say this in front of Ru-Ru, but I can't lie. There were times I wished I could end it all, too."

Hiei finally opened his eyes and looked up at Homura. Yes, that was right…hadn't he also lost a husband while heavily pregnant? But then, it wasn't exactly as if their situations were the same. In fact, they weren't the same at all! How dare Homura say something like that! How dare he even think he understood!

"So what, then?" Hiei snapped, suddenly lifting his head up off the couch. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Homura looked a little startled. "Well, n—"

"You don't understand this at all!" Hiei shouted, barely even realizing that he'd gotten to his feet. "Denki died to save you and Ru-Ru! And what did Kurama die for? Because some asshole crashed into him and didn't bother to stop to see if he was okay! Denki might have been torn apart by bandits, but at least that was his choice! Kurama didn't get any choice at all!"

"Hiei?" Yukina curiously stepped into the living room, holding a mixing bowl. "Is everything okay?"

"YOU KEEP OUT OF THIS!" Hiei couldn't believe he was yelling at Yukina, and yet he couldn't seem to stop himself. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO JUDGED ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FAMILY!"

"I'm sorry, Hiei," she said, frightened, "but I was just—"

"Just worried? Well, I don't want your pity!" Hiei's dulcet tones got louder and louder, as the more he spoke, the angrier he got. "Like either of you understand what's going on at all! Denki didn't waste away in a hospital bed hooked up to machines and stuffed full of wires and tubes, did he? After all the times I thought Kurama was going to die and he didn't, after all the battles, all the demons…THIS IS WHAT TAKES HIM OUT?! A STUPID HUMAN IN A CAR?!"

Hiei didn't understand what was happening to him. It was as if he had been completely overtaken by fury. Maybe this was what the suicide watch people were supposed to look out for.

"KURAMA DIED IN VAIN AND NONE OF YOU CARE!" Hiei was screaming, his eyes shut, his hands over his ears. "YOU ALL THINK I'M A FREAK, AND EVEN MY OWN BABY HATES ME! SO SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!"

Still seething with rage, his heart beating much faster than it should, Hiei's eyes scanned the room. Yukina looked horrified, seeming not to notice that she'd dropped her mixing bowl; Homura's expression was stony, as if he'd expected as much; and Ru-Ru was crying, her golden ears pointing downwards as her matching fox tail dragged on the floor.

And just like that, almost as if a switch had been flipped, Hiei felt all the fight drain from him completely, replaced by some of the worst hopelessness he had ever felt. How was he standing? His own body felt far too heavy for him to carry as he sunk to the floor, unable to stop the tidal wave of tears that had finally broken free. What he would give just to have Kurama's arms around him one more time, to tell him he was sorry…to tell him how much he loved him.

But then Hiei did feel arms around him—not Kurama's this time, but Homura's. They were too big and muscular to be Yukina's, certainly.

"This is my fault," Hiei sobbed, leaning his head on his father's chest. "Kurama's going to die and it's all my fault."

"It is not your fault, Hiei," said Homura. "You're not the one who drove drunk and crashed into him."

"You don't understand!" Hiei insisted. "H-He was coming for me that day. He was coming to apologize. Bringing me—bringing me my fast food order…and a rose…"

Just the thought of that rose brought on another rush of tears. I'm sorry, the note had said. As if Kurama was the one who should be apologizing…Hiei was the one who had hit him, the one who had screamed at him and taken him for granted.

"All this happened because of me," Hiei wept. "It would've been better if we never met."

Hiei expected Homura to say something like, Now, you know you don't mean that, and maybe he didn't, but again, the older fire demon surprised him by staying silent. He heard no noise, just felt one of Homura's hands in his hair, the other rubbing his back, as he cried himself out.

…

Monday began like any other day for Hiei—he spent the night on the couch, and he spent all day there, too, only leaving to go to the bathroom or shove something in his mouth under protest. Even though he had no appetite, not even for salty foods, he knew he couldn't be an even worse parent to the baby than he already was by starving him. Other than that, he just stayed curled up on the couch, not talking to anyone. The only difference was that now he'd stopped trying to hide his tears, and he just cried to himself, since he didn't want anyone near him while he did so.

But that evening, when Shiori was in charge of the suicide watch, she stepped into the living room with a sort of nervous look on her face.

"Hiei," she said. "After my 'shift' is over tonight, I'm planning on visiting Shuichi at the hospital. Would you like to come along?"

"Wouldn't that break the house arrest order?" Hiei grumbled, not wanting to go into whether he'd "like" to come along or not. As if going to the hospital would do him any good…Shiori had visited Kurama every day at the hospital, Hiei had been told, and apparently she spoke to him as well, despite the fact that she might as well be speaking to his bedside cabinet for all the good it did. Hiei couldn't imagine doing that.

"You're allowed to go to the hospital to visit him," she said. "I'm sure he would like it if you were there."

"Are you trying to be optimistic or are you just in denial?" Hiei snapped, although he instantly regretted these words when he saw the hurt look on her face. Somehow he felt even worse when she appeared to just shake it off.

"All I know is that I'm going to the hospital tonight to see my son, and I'd like his husband to come with me," she replied steadily. "What do you say?"

"Why didn't you just use your pacifier to save me, if you wanted me to live so badly?" Hiei said finally. "Didn't that thing bring that kid back to life? In fact—why don't you use it to heal Kurama?"

"It can only bring back souls that want to come back," Koenma explained. "Gamemaster didn't want to die. Obviously, that didn't apply to you, and Kurama's soul shows no pull, either."

"I can understand that for me, but why would Kurama have lost the will to live?" said Hiei. "There's still so much for him here."

"It's funny you would say that, Hiei, as it's what everyone else thought when they learned of your decision," Koenma replied. "And to answer your question, I don't know why Kurama's soul isn't willing to make the effort. Have you been in to visit him yet?"

"Of course not," said Hiei. "I don't want to see him like that."

Hiei couldn't bring himself to meet Shiori's gaze. Maybe she wasn't the one in denial. After all, what was refusing to see your comatose husband the way he was, if not denial? If Kurama died like this, Hiei would only have another regret—not saying goodbye when he had the chance. Did it really matter if Kurama could hear him? Maybe he'd hear the answer someday. Hiei felt tears leaking out from underneath his closed eyes.

"Yes," he said. "I'll go."

…

Hiei was silent for the entire car ride to the hospital. In TV shows and movies, he'd seen people in comas, and that was bad enough; he didn't want to think about how much worse it could actually be in real life. He remembered the doctor saying there was no lasting brain damage, but what good was that if Kurama still didn't wake up? And hadn't the doctor said that if Kurama did wake up, he would be facing a lot of difficulties he hadn't had to deal with before?

Shiori seemed less nervous when they got there, likely because she saw Kurama regularly, but Hiei barely knew what to expect when they finally reached the room. The nurse escorted them in, and Hiei could never have prepared himself for the sight that greeted him.

All this time, he really had been in denial. It was just heartbreaking to see his husband like this, in a hospital bed, unconscious, hooked up to several machines Hiei couldn't even name, in a hospital gown, with all kinds of needles and wires stuck into his arms, his beautiful red hair fanned out freely onto the pillow as he breathed through oxygen tubes in his nostrils. He looked so thin and pale, probably because he was only fed through the drip by his bedside. And it wasn't even a normal bed. It was split into two lengthwise, with the top part slightly elevated, and there were bars on the sides, to keep Kurama from falling off, Hiei supposed.

There were plants, too, Hiei noticed, plants in pots, some of them ones he had only seen in Makai, and some that were native to the human world. Most were in their flowering state already, seeming to move of their own accord.

"People have sent him a lot of flowers," said the nurse, noticing Hiei looking, "but a lot of them just turn up, too, species we've never seen before. And they seem to grow overnight. It's quite strange, isn't it?"

"No," said Hiei. The plants were obviously growing with the help of Kurama's youki; though he obviously wasn't in control right now, it was still affecting the plants around him and making them grow. They were as beautiful as they were sad, especially the demon ones. At least this was a sign that the injury hadn't taken away Kurama's powers, which could happen sometimes. "It's not strange at all. It's him."

The nurse gave him a confused look, but eventually nodded and left Shiori and Hiei alone to be with Kurama.

"Shuichi," said Shiori, approaching him and setting one hand on his forehead. Hiei could only sink into a chair, staring at them, his throat closing up, his eyes burning with tears. This wasn't right. It wasn't where Kurama should be. Hiei found that he was stuck in the chair and he couldn't get up even if he wanted to, but he didn't want to. He just wanted to block this out the best he could.

Kurama loved his mom so much that Hiei was expecting to move or open his eyes or something in response to her touch and gentle voice, but he didn't. He stayed the same, knowing nothing of the world around him, the way it passed him by, filled with people who neither knew nor cared that he could possibly be gone forever.

"Hiei? Would you like to come see him?" Shiori asked tentatively.

"I'm stuck," Hiei told her truthfully, avoiding her eyes.

"Come on," she said, walking over to him and hoisting him up with a grunt of exertion. They walked together over to Kurama's bedside. Close-up, it was even worse.

And yet…in his heart, below all the worry and anxiety, Hiei knew that however Kurama was, that was how he would be accepted. Not just accepted, loved. However he was. Kurama had always loved Hiei for who he was, despite Hiei constantly thinking that could never happen. Now it was Hiei's chance to show that even if full recovery wasn't possible, love always would be.

Maybe I've been trying to avoid that, Hiei thought to himself. But that's not what he would want.

"D'you mind if…" Hiei swallowed. "Can I have a moment alone with him?"

"Of course I don't mind, Hiei," said Shiori, and Hiei could have sworn there were tears in her eyes, too. "Take all the time you need."

Shiori scooted Hiei's chair closer to Kurama's bedside, so that Hiei could sit closer to him. Once she left and Hiei was sitting down again, Hiei gently took Kurama's hand, feeling tears on the way, as Kurama simply stayed still and silent. Hiei glanced away from his husband's lovely face to look at the heart monitor, which he knew was beeping far too slower than a human heartbeat should.

And then it happened. Kurama's face seemed to move slightly, and then he spoke. The words were almost indecipherable, but Hiei managed to make them out.

"I-I…I c-can't," Kurama whispered.

It was almost as if Kurama was more alert. Hiei's first thought wasn't even to call for the doctor. All he could do was stare down at Kurama, barely even daring to hope. Had he waken up? He was speaking, but he didn't seem to be speaking to Hiei. His hand, the one Hiei was holding, gave a slight twitch.

"What do you mean?" said Hiei, swallowing. "You can't what?"

"I can't…I can't…" Kurama coughed. "Come back."

"Oh, Kurama." Hiei burst into tears, finally realizing what was happening. This was something Hiei had heard about before, although he wasn't unfortunate enough to experience it firsthand until tonight. He had heard that people who were in states like Kurama's would reach some sort of moment of clarity…but it was right before they died. Right before their souls left their bodies.

"At…at least I got to see him…one last time."

Hiei had seemed to accept by now that Kurama wasn't speaking to him, but who was he speaking to? Had he been waiting for Hiei to visit him before he could die? Or would he slip away if Hiei even dared to blink? Hiei hated to think that he was the catalyst for Kurama's death. But how could he possibly be all right with leaving now? When they had a baby? When he had a business? When they had their whole lives ahead of them? They had barely even been married for a year!

"It's—it's not right," Hiei mumbled, rubbing his thumb over Kurama's hand. "None of this is right. And it starts with me." The whole thing kind of reminded Hiei of when he spoke to the baby, except at least until recently, the baby had responded with kicks. "I should have done what your mom did and saw you every day. But I didn't want to face the truth.

"I know you were coming to see me that day," Hiei continued, sniffing. "And I just want to say…I accept your apology. And I have my own. I took you for granted, Kurama, and I'm sorry…Even if you never hear this…I'm really, really sorry."

Kurama still didn't open his eyes, or say any more words, but his lips tightened. His hand twitched.

"Please, Kurama, don't die, please," Hiei pleaded. "Not like this. We're…we're a team, remember?"

That was when the strangest thing of all happened. Kurama's hand had been cold, like the rest of his body, but suddenly it felt warm, and for some reason, Hiei couldn't let go. It seemed as if it was stuck there, invited by the sudden heat. And then Kurama spoke again:

"Hiei?"

"Y-Yes…" Hiei's eyes, still filled with tears, widened in surprise. "Right. That's me. Hiei."

"Hiei," Kurama repeated, eyes still shut. "Come…come closer."

"I can't," said Hiei. It was physically impossible. His chair was already very close to Kurama's bed, and his large pregnant belly filled up any remaining space. There was another lengthy pause before Kurama said anything more.

"Don't leave me," he whispered. "Please stay."

"I won't leave you," Hiei wept, his hand still almost glued to Kurama's. "Not ever. I love you."

"W-What?"

"I love you," Hiei repeated, firmer this time, though he still couldn't stop the tears streaming down his face. "No matter what, I love you, and I'll never leave you."

"Then why…why…?"

"Why what?" Hiei cried desperately, squeezing Kurama's hand. "Why what?"

But Kurama was silent again, still once more. His hand grew cold, and Hiei found he was able to take it away.

"K-Kurama, no…!" But it was too late. Hiei collapsed onto Kurama's lifeless body, sobbing. He was gone.