Born to Be Wilde

by Berserker88

Only a few weeks after joining the ZPD, Nick Wilde thinks he's more than ready for his new career. That belief is challenged in a case involving disco drug dealers, trigger-happy biker wolves, a corrupt luchador circuit, an underwater spy network, a dapper criminal mastermind, and his own inner demons. This was definitely NOT what he signed up for.

36. Come One, Come Brawl!

We move on into the next part of the finale, which will be...not AS long? Funny thing is, this is the chapter we were actually worried about taking up too much space. Even considered splitting it, but after choosing not the split the LAST one, that idea just seems silly now.

So grab what's left of your popcorn as we explore the land of silly ideas itself. Welcome to Count Reynard's Wilde Times!

---

Chapter 36: Come One, Come Brawl!

Happytown

Sherwood Apartments - Room 73

10: 01 PM

"Marian? Can you stop-ow-brushing so-gah-hard?"

"What was that, dear?" Marian looked over at the red wolf sitting on the couch with her, then down at said wolf's tail, currently held in Marian's paws as she worked at it with a stiff brush. "Oh, I'm sorry. I think the stress is getting to me. Just having to sit here and watch as my boy risks his life out there."

"If it makes you feel any better, that big gate's closed so we can't watch now."

"It doesn't!"

"Hey, calm down, I know how you feel. This whole situation is pretty foxed up."

"Language!" The brush painfully pulled at her tail.

"OW! Sorry! Just saying, I had to watch all of my children bite it out there!"

"You mean those vehicles?" Marian asked, glancing back at the television screen. "Looks like that Chokemobile one is still hanging in there."

"Oh goody. Glad to know the one I designed to be indestructible could fulfill its primary function." She crossed her arms bitterly. "But I guess true art is fleeting, right? So in a way, they all fulfilled their primary function. Even got to do it in front of the cameras."

"I thought true art was supposed to be eternal," said Timber from the other end of the couch.

"That's not the only thing that'll be eternal if you contradict me again."

"Whatever the case, there's not much we can do now," Marian conceded. "I'm sorry you all had to come here instead of helping out the rest of your pack."

"Hey, no worries," Greg assured. "They're doing fine...ish out there. And at least we can keep watching them."

The television feed turned to static.

"You were saying?!" Danielle got up and stomped over to the TV. "Looks like this is gonna need a little repair work."

"You know how to fix a television too?" Marian asked. "You really are talented."

"Nothing to it. Just need to apply the 'traditional' method." She promptly pulled one leg back, steel-toed boot glinting threateningly.

"W-Wait, hold on!"

The TV was spared her wrath only because it turned back on all by itself. "Hey, the feed's back!" Timber called out.

Marian gave the screen a curious look. "Wait...what is…?"

---

Wilde Times

Plunder Plaza

10: 04 PM

The five mammals who had made it through the gates of Wilde Times remained sitting against the steel surface for several minutes, slowly but surely regaining their strength. "Come on, everyone…" Chief Bogo finally said. "We can't just stay here forever."

"Why not?" Nick panted. "It took us forever to get here."

"Don't you complain." Carla weakly elbowed him. "You barely even had to do anything until the end."

"Hey, that's only mostly accurate!"

"Let's save the aggression for Reynard, okay?" Judy suggested, trying to set a good example by being the first to stand up again. She managed to get back on her feet, took a step forward, then started to stumble.

Jimmy caught her on the rebound, gently pushing her back up into a standing position. In return, Judy reached out to grab Jimmy's paw and help pull him up as well. She didn't quite have the leverage to do so herself, so Carla gave Jimmy a firm boot to the back to help them both. They grabbed her arms and managed to pull her up on their own, then Carla turned around and yanked up Nick by his collar. Then the four of them finally helped Bogo up, with some difficulty.

"Friends don't let friends procrastinate," Nick concluded. "Let's get moving."

Now that they were all standing again, it suddenly seemed so easy to keep going. It wasn't like they had any excuse to slack off again after that. Together, they moved away from the front gates and through a short tunnel that led them into the main hub of the park, passing under a hanging sign.

WELCOME TO WILDE TIMES

FUN FOR EVERY KIND OF FAMILY

At which point, it seemed like they had all actually died of exhaustion and gone straight to Hell.

They heard the music first, a jazzy carnival beat beckoning the guests forward. Then a circular, cobblestone plaza was laid out before them, free-flying balloons and photoinsensitive lights assaulting their senses. When their eyes adjusted, they came face-to-face with a large golden statue of Count Reynard standing atop a fountain in the center. It tipped a hat with one metallic paw and held a cane out behind it with the other, as if happily inviting them inside. The gesture seemed about as authentic as the gold.

They looked around, mostly just to focus on anything else, and spotted several small attractions and concession stands lining the edges. "How distasteful," Judy said, eyes immediately drawn to the shooting gallery "Fox the Police!" and its distinctly badge-shaped targets. More disturbingly, it appeared to be manned by three very real tommy guns. She attempted to pry one of them out, purely to examine the evidence of course, and discovered that either Reynard or the Langs were at least safety-conscious enough to make sure the things would not budge from their set positions.

"You wanna talk distasteful?" Nick asked, pointing a thumb at a coffee stand. Specifically, a stand for "Fresh Civet Coffee: The perfect beverage for those full of shit!" He grimaced at the sight of the steaming brew already sitting out for guests, nose wrinkling in disgust. "Although...it is supposed to be really expensive. That's gotta be some pretty high-quality stuff, right?"

"Nick, no!" Judy yelled.

"Alright, fine." Nick turned away and left the stand be. He wasn't going to be swayed by any of his father's temptations anymore, but targeting him through coffee may have been his most cunning play yet.

"This place actually takes me back a bit," Carla admitted. "Reminds me of the boardwalk I took Priscilla on for our first date. Those were the days. Of course, we ended up wrecking it in the end, so yeah, very nostalgic for me." She passed by a Whack-A-Mole game with an iron sledgehammer for a mallet, almost considering giving it a spin until she saw miniature versions of herself pop up to greet her.

"Hit me, I'm scum!"

She didn't like the way they smiled. "When can we start wrecking?'

"Come on, hit me, you know I'm into it!"

"Patience," Bogo advised. "We barely even know what to expect here. All these nooks and crannies could be loaded with traps waiting to spring." He paused as he saw a row of completely ordinary carnival games. The sign above them just read, "Zero Pretenses Zone: Why mess with criminal perfection?" It actually got a snort out of him. "Anyone still got that map of the place?

"I think Jimmy was holding on to it last," Judy said, looking around. "Um, not to alarm anyone, but where is Jimmy?"

"Guys...help..."

The fox reappeared behind Nick, loaded down with crime lord-themed merch. He smiled sheepishly through fake drop bear fangs, carrying boxes of miniature bike figurines and a Sea Train set, a CD of Sanchez's Greatest Misses poked out of his pocket, oversized shrew ears that were still too small for him rested atop his head, and a fake cane with a flashing headpiece was balanced on his tail.

Nick nodded. "I see you found the gift shop, Snowball."

"No. The gift shop found me."

"Who did they even have running it?" Carla asked.

"Nobody. They just put out a sign to take what I wanted and leave the money. I'd call it the honor system, but you don't want to know how much it cost."

"We might be in debt now!" Wallace cheerfully added.

"Just another reason to shut this place down, I guess," Nick said, reaching over and fishing out the park map from Jimmy's other (free) pocket. "Right. Looks like we just keep heading towards the back. Steel your willpower, everyone. We can make it through this."

The power of rampant consumerism proved difficult to conquer, but they had bested the physical trials of the parking lot and they bested this mental trial as well. Finally, they made it to the other side and now found themselves facing a branching path. Six entrances, leading into the other areas of the park, were spread out before them.

On the leftmost side, a giant igloo marked the entrance to Mr. Big's Frozen Funland.

To its right, an open cave entrance covered in natural plant life that led to Damien Thornbrush's Outback Safari.

Beside that, a garage with a raised shutter that would bring them to Lady Lang's Bumper Bike Circuit.

Next in line, a creaky gothic gate radiating a spooky ambience opened the way to Sandcat Sanchez's Musical Madhouse.

After that, a pirate ship appeared to have come onto shore, a large breach in its hull letting them through to Piers Narwhalter's Flumes of Doom.

And finally, the one they were actually looking for, a high-tech gateway to Count Reynard's Future Foxtrot.

Naturally, this was the only one not open. A pair of large metal doors, not unlike the ones they had just fought their way through, were sealed shut by a circular plate. Around its perimeter were five locks, each bearing the likeness of one of the other five crime lords, and in its center, a simple message.

Coming Soon

"NO! We should have gotten the season pass!" Jimmy cried.

Carla slowly let out a breath. "I'm not the least bit surprised and yet I'm still pissed."

"Don't be so sour, the show has just begun!"

"I welcome you all to my fortress of fun!"

They looked behind them at once, seeing that the golden Reynard statue they passed earlier had now turned around to face them, its mouth open and the actual Reynard's voice coming out of it.

"It was a struggle to get here, your battles hard-fought!"

"But you'll be touring my park whether you like it or not!"

"Is he rhyming?" Judy asked. "Why is he rhyming?"

"It's something he practices every Kitsmas," Nick explained. "Became a sort of tradition for him."

"It's not Kitsmas."

"Snowball's still got his winter coat, so close enough."

"Five locks, five keys, they wait in each zone!"

"So venture inside and claim them for your own!"

"Hell with that," Carla growled, stepping up to the circular plate and trying her damndest to punch or kick it in. The loud clangs against its surface and her grunts of pain made it clear pretty quickly how well that was going to work.

"Carla, haven't you learned you can't solve every problem with violence?" Jimmy asked, growing increasingly concerned.

"I have actually. It was a very painful lesson. But don't tell me it wouldn't be worth it this time." She lunged atop the plate now and started attempting to wrestle it off.

"But those keys are held by some of your old friends!"

"Consider this a chance to tie up loose ends!"Carla finally gave up on trying to tear off the plate and stormed away. That seemed to be the end of it until she came back, dragging the entire shooting gallery with her. She couldn't get one of the guns off its mount, but she did manage to point it at the plate. "Hey, Goredian! I've got some strong opinions about your knot!"

"Kinky."

"RAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Carla opened fire, sending a stream of bullets straight into her target. The noise was deafening, but when she finally ran out of ammo, the plate remained intact.

"A noble effort, the finest endeavor!"

"Shame my knot is as stiff as ever!"

"And by the way, Goredian was the name of the city, not-"

"I know!"

"Hey, no need to stress your spots off," Nick assured. "Even if we can't just bust through, we can still make this easier. He's obviously trying to split us up, so instead we'll just all go together to get each one."

"A brilliant idea! You're my son without a doubt!"

"But I believe there's something you've forgotten about!"

"Remember those bombs, the ones scattered around the city?"

"Try to cheat and I might have to blow some, what a pity!"

"I knew there was a reason he planted those," Nick groaned.

"So gather your wits and then gather those keys!"

"'Cause that's the only way you're getting a shot at me!"

The statue's mouth closed, Reynard's point firmly made.

"Damn. I can't even reach anyone on the outside," Bogo noted, his radio emitting nothing but static. "He must be jamming us somehow."

"Then we really don't have a choice," Judy said, looking back towards the five paths. "We can't risk blowing up some of the city just by being stubborn. We'll need to split up."

"Leaping boldly into the deep end then," Nick agreed with a sigh. "So who's taking what?"

"I've got this one." Judy positioned herself in front of Mr. Big's Frozen Funland. "I doubt it'll help, but I at least know this crime family the best."

"Not a bad call." Nick went up to Damien Thornbrush's Outback Safari. "Me, I just have lots of good memories with these guys."

"I've got bad memories I need to face." Jimmy dropped all of his "gifts" and calmly headed for Lady Lang's Bumper Bike Circuit. "This family might still be together if not for me."

"Can't say I regret tearing this one apart." Carla stood by the gate to Sandcat Sanchez's Musical Madhouse. "But it's a legacy I'm putting behind me for good."

"Then I guess I'm over here." Bogo just shrugged as he went to Piers Narwhalter's Flumes of Doom. "Not like I went anywhere else with you."

"Alright then," Nick said. "Everyone, good luck, do your best, and be back by midnight. Break!"

The five mammals split up and headed into the depths of Wilde Times.

---

Mr. Big's Frozen Funland

10: 12 PM

"A-CHOOOO!" Though to anyone else, it would've sounded more like "a-choo". Judy rubbed at her nose and sniffled, already regretting her choice of locale. In her defense, a place themed after cold things wasn't necessarily going to be cold itself. But it was. Very much so, with freezing temperatures and snow coating the ground. I should've gotten Jimmy to come here.

But too late for that now. She'd gained a reputation for impulsiveness and now it had come back to frostbite her. Judy made her way through the rest of the icy tunnel and emerged into the park proper. In hindsight, it was perhaps the only kind of park she should've expected Reynard to design in Mr. Big's honor.

A kiddie park.

Several attractions surrounded her that she doubted would appeal to even her boldest siblings. On her left, a carousel toting various kinds of mob vehicles to ride in place of the usual birds. On her right, teacups that seemed relatively normal except for one that was blackened and splattered with what she hoped was fake blood. The poisoned one. Oh sweet teas and whackers.

"Are you troubled, Officer Hopps?"

Straight ahead was a rodent-sized train that moved endlessly in a circular track. She couldn't see anything off about it, but was sure it was carrying illicit goods or something. Much more concerning was the giant polar bear sitting in the middle of the circle. "Please, come closer. I hear this ride is appropriate for all ages."

She stayed where she was. "What about your rocket launcher? Was that suitable for children?"

"Technically, it's suitable for anyone, but I don't have it anymore regardless. Though I do have something else you may find enticing." Koslov reached into the front pocket of his suit and pulled out a key shaped like Mr. Big's head. The bear held it out to her in his open palm, like he had once held the actual Mr. Big. "Looking for this?"

Judy's eyes shot to the key for just a second, but she still didn't make a move. "Are you expecting me to just come up and grab it?"

"No. But I am expecting that you won't leave without it either. In that way, Reynard's plan was well-crafted. Despite the odds being stacked against you, Officer Hopps, you will invariably choose to stay and fight. Always." He closed his paw, the key vanishing from sight. "Now there is no escape."

His words were getting increasingly unnerving, partially because they weren't inaccurate. "What do you have against me anyway? We've barely even met."

"Your determination is an admirable trait, but also a dangerous one." Koslov slowly stood up, towering over the rabbit and casting his shadow over her. "You single-handedly caused one of the worst fractures in this city's history. Then in three months' time, you came back and mended it. And with that, an opportunity was lost. Now another opportunity has presented itself. You must not be allowed to interfere again."

That neither cleared things up nor did she particularly like being reminded of that time. But before she could question him further, Reynard's voice interrupted them, pouring out from hidden speakers.

"Justice Bun faces the hired muscle!"

"Place your bets, everyone, we're gonna have a tussle!"

So she questioned him instead. "Reynard, what the hay is going on with your henchbear?"

"Do not ignore me. You are the highest priority target. You will be eliminated."

"Yeah...I'm not gonna lie...this is all new to me too."

"Don't waste your time asking him. Contrary to popular belief, he knows nothing."

"Excuse me? Who do you think you're-?"

"Do you remember the night you recruited me?" Koslov asked, glancing up towards one of the multitude of cameras watching them. "You came to my restaurant to play a game, and through that managed to convince me to turn on my own employer. A classic tale of a cunning fox using his wits to manipulate a mark. But what if it was not so simple as that? Would I really betray my boss so easily? Or is it perhaps that, subconsciously mind you, I knew my mission was to put myself in the best position to eliminate threats, and your position just happened to be the most promising? Then who was it that was actually the mark?"

"Hey, you can't just retcon away my accomplishments like-!"

"Shut up, John. The adults are talking."

Somewhere off to the side, a large chunk of ice broke off a stand of Snow Bones from sheer audacity.

"So I'm finally catching a glimpse beneath the Iceberg, eh? As long as you use those newly-grown balls to flatten Twitchy, it's all the same to me. Reynard out."

"Wait. Mission?" Judy asked, nervously gripping her tranq gun. "What are you talking about?"

"That is for me to know, and for you to die." Koslov stepped forward, and as the rodent train made another pass, he crushed it underfoot. "Eliminating."

---

Damien Thornbrush's Outback Safari

10: 15 PM

Nick was honestly a little bored so far. After walking through a cave of empty lines and dutifully ignoring every attempt to hype him up for the ride ahead, he eventually ended up at another roadblock. A track for some sort of tram had been set up, but both ends of it led under stone walls that would likely only move once the ride came back. The sign posted nearby didn't give him much indication as to when.

Please wait here for the tram.

We're sorry not sorry for the inconvenience.

What stood next to it was even less insightful: a wooden standee of a very stoned dingo saying, "You must be this high to ride!"

Even if going back were an option, Nick probably still would've waited it out anyway. He didn't walk through all that just to turn around now. Leave it to Reynard to weaponize the sunk cost fallacy.

So he waited. But not entirely unoccupied. In a surprising show of mercy, there was a simple ball-tossing game built into the cave known as "Drop the Bear." At no extra charge, Nick spent the next few minutes lobbing miniature disco balls at wooden Thornbrush targets, not wanting to disrespect the dead but also not having anything better to do. He was getting scarily good at it when he heard the stone walls finally shifting.

He squinted a little as bright light poured inside, obviously not the natural kind at this time of night, but still saw the approaching tram come to a halt in front of him. "You getting in or not?" its single passenger asked.

He didn't need to see clearly to know who that was. "Heya, Finn." He stumbled inside the tram and plopped himself down on one of its padded seats. "You get demoted from limo driver to tram driver?"

"Ha. Ha." Finnick pulled a lever by his own seat and the tram started to move again. "No, but your dad did give me another job. You want this key, right?" He reached down the front of his shirt and pulled out a key strung around his neck, Damien's mug plastered on it.

"I do," Nick confirmed, not even bothering to lie. "And it's the darndest thing, but I'm getting the feeling that you're not just going to give it to me."

"Now what gives ya that idea?" Finnick asked innocently, dropping the key and just letting it hang. "Actually, I have a better question. If you still had your taser, now would you be willing to use it if I don't cooperate?"

"If I still had my taser, you'd already be on the floor."

"Heh. And to think, I actually believe that too."

The tram moved out into the light, making them both squint again for a second. When Nick recovered again, what he saw out there was much less inviting. "You know...I was wondering how he was planning to do a 'safari,' but…"

"The bastard's worn me down. I can't even be shocked anymore."

They were slowly being driven around a large outdoor plain, overhead lights almost making it seem like daytime. It reminded Nick a little of Mystic Spring Oasis and its simulated natural environments, but while the residents here were certainly embracing their wild sides, it wasn't because they chose to.

It was because they were all savages. Nick almost fooled himself into thinking they were just ferals for a second, but if they were ferals, they would've been outside the walls with the rest of Reynard's forces. Even he wasn't crazy enough to sic completely uncontrollable mammals on his friends. "It's been a busy month," Finnick said grimly. "A lot of poor performance reviews given out, with the worst of them getting thrown in here. It worked with Fangs and Boomer he figured, so hey, why not?"

Nick looked back at him. "Oh, I can think of a few reasons. For one-YAAH!" He turned back around just as a savage tiger abruptly leapt for the tram. It impacted the protective window, then convulsed violently before falling back onto the ground.

"Bulletproof glass and electric currents," Finnick confirmed. "Don't worry, they ain't getting in here."

"And that ain't making this better."

A voice came on over the intercom inside the tram. It wasn't Reynard, but rather a calm and soothing narrator who wouldn't be out of place in a nature documentary. That is, if it weren't for the script. "Welcome to the safari tour. On your left, you'll see the regiis defectum in its natural environment, wallowing in mud like the worthless stain it is. Maybe next time it should look out for disguised cops before giving information to disguised cops."

"And you're still working for this guy?" Nick asked.

"Hey, it's not like that! I gave you that help before, didn't I?!"

"I recall you giving me a bunch of outdated and/or useless info, then getting pissy when I didn't appreciate it, yes."

Finnick grabbed a steel bat, hopping down from his seat and pointing it at him. "That right there? That is exactly why this needs to happen!"

"We are now entering the habitat of integrum amentis. Don't be surprised if you see a large number of specimens. That is simply the natural order of things when you decide to hold your illicit dealings in a very open and easily-raidable location."

Nick stood up too. "Really? You're going to risk the entire city just because you have a beef with me?"

"Damn right I am! What the hell's the city ever done for me?! For either of us?!"

"Well, I found a real job, real friends, and a purpose in life beyond surviving to next week!"

"And look how long it took you to finally appreciate it! I still remember when you were all, 'Boooo hoooo, woe is me having to arrest my good buddy, Finn!' while parading around in your shiny new car and uniform!"

"You were my best friend!"

"You were my only friend!"

"Look closely and you may spot a rare appearance of stultus stultus. Because only saying its name one time would not fully grasp the majesty of how stultus it is to try to ditch your finely-crafted suit for something 'more comfortable'. One would hope its current state of dress is satisfactory."

"Oh, heeeere we go with that little guilt trip again! For someone who supposedly cares about me so much, you have a hell of a way of showing it!"

"Same to you, jackass! This is still better than sitting alone in a cell hoping that maybe you'll show up at some point! At least we're having conversation again!"

"And what great conversation it is! All we're doing is going down the same damn track every time, now with a visual metaphor!"

"Believe me, I've noticed! And you wanna know what I think about all that?!"

"Yeah?! What?!"

"This next creature was not worthy of a proper name. So we just called it cur vexas."

Finnick snarled and swung his bat. It struck the intercom system with a loud crackle and finally shut it up. "I think I hate it. What the hell happened to us, Nick?"

"I'm not even sure anymore," the taller fox sighed. "But I hate it too. I want my friend back, Finn."

"Glad we finally agree on something. It ain't gonna be that easy though." Finnick tossed the bat aside but still stared him down. "The two of us, we've got some shit to work through. Remember when we first met?"

"When you found me at my lowest point in Tundratown and decided to throw a snowball in my face?"

"Yep. But you threw one back, didn't you? And it went on and on until we'd bonded over mutual violence and you forgot all about what was even ailing you. Now that's my favorite kind of conflict resolution. Also the only kind I'm good at."

"So that's what you meant. About why this needed to happen."

"That's right. Are ya ready?"

"Can the short-tempered tod handle the boy wonder?"

"We'll soon find out in this battle down under!"

Nick rolled his eyes. Whatever speaker Reynard was using now, it sadly wasn't within smashing distance. "Well, someone is."

"Ignore him," Finnick said, stretching himself out. "We ain't doing this for him, we're doing it for us."

"Fine by me." Nick smirked. "So who's going first?"

---

Lady Lang's Bumper Bike Circuit

10: 11 PM

Jimmy found his destination far too quiet. Nothing associated with the Lang Family should ever be quiet.

The metal tunnel he entered had gradually sloped down, leading him not only deeper into the park, but deeper beneath it. By the time his feet found a flat surface again, he was standing in an underground parking garage. It seemed like an odd place to put one, especially with all the parking space outside, until he realized that this was part of the attraction.

Instead of cars, the vehicles being stored here were all Lang Family bikes, either left behind when they jumped ship or confiscated by Reynard at one point or another. Far from being trashed, they all appeared to be in peak condition and had been polished very recently, probably not by the Langs either. His first thought was that Reynard felt bad about what he did to their mom and kept their bikes in good shape as a gesture of remorse, an idea he dismissed soon after on account of it being completely stupid. He then spotted a neon sign above his head that provided a better explanation.

Choose your vehicle!

Much like bikes at the arcade, it seemed he was meant to "play" by selecting one of the available options and taking it up above, as evidenced by a gated elevator he spotted at the far end of the room. He'd almost be convinced to give it a try, but the evil gift shop had already gotten the better of him once and he refused to let it happen again. And yet, if he wanted to find that key...

Jimmy stopped in his tracks as he finally heard something other than his claws clicking against metal. Someone was rummaging about in here, just around a nearby corner. He slowly drew his tranq gun to confront the intruder, remembered that he was actually the intruder, then ran around the corner anyway. "Freeze!"

He had the gun held at his normal arm level, which was just above crotch level on Felix Dire Senior. The large wolf had been wheeling out one of the bikes when he was stopped, but heeded Jimmy's command, looking neither annoyed nor amused by the fox's presence. "Done. What is the next step of your brilliant plan?"

Jimmy glanced down at the bike. It was as large compared to the rest as Felix was compared to other wolves, sleek black with two oversized engines visible on its sides along with the Lang Family insignia and a wolf skull mounted on the front. It was big enough that he could effectively use it as cover if it came to that, but still he didn't make a move. Jimmy didn't either, mainly because he wasn't sure how to proceed from here. "Right. For starters...what are you doing with that bike?"

"Reclaiming it," Felix answered calmly. "I was forced to leave Fenrir behind after an ill-fated attempt on Reynard's life. Only now have I found where he's been keeping it. In fairly good condition too, not that it will save him. If you'll excuse me..."

"Oh, sure, sorry." Jimmy moved out of the way as Felix rolled Fenrir out past him, starting down the hall. A second later, the rest of Jimmy's brain caught up. "H-Hey, wait!" He pointed the gun at his back "You can't just walk away like that!"

"Why not?" Felix turned back to him, looking genuinely curious. "I have no quarrel with you."

"Are you still going after the Wildes?"

"Of course. Mother's vengeance must be served."

"Then I have a quarrel with you!" He jabbed the gun towards him a second time, as if it were made more threatening with repetition. "I won't let you do that."

"Oh? And how are you planning to stop me?" Felix crossed his arms and leaned up against Fenrir's side. Not the actions of someone planning to use the bike as cover, nor those of someone who thought it at all necessary. He just stood there, patiently waiting for an answer.

But being out of his league wasn't a sentiment Jimmy could argue as he quickly found himself getting tongue-tied. "Um...well...you see...I was thinking…"

"We challenge you to an honor duel!" Wallace shouted.

Jimmy stared down in horror at the Wallabeanie. But after deciding to run with it, he glared back towards Felix with forced determination. "What he said! I challenge you! And if I win, this whole vendetta against Nick and his mom is over!"

"What about Reynard?"

"...I'm a cop, so I feel legally obligated to throw him in there too."

"Hmm. An honor duel…" Now he finally showed some surprise. "You know our pack well. An honor duel is the ideal tactic for a challenger to stand up to a physically superior opponent. Of course, that raises the question of why I would accept such a challenge when I have nothing to gain and everything to lose."

"Because you do have something to gain," Jimmy said, finally lowering his gun as well as his head. "Your revenge. Reynard may have killed your mom, but I'm the one who told him where to find her. I'm just as responsible for her death as he is, so if you win...you can avenge her."

He stiffened, hackles raised. "You're lying."

"Ask your brother if you don't believe me. He knows what happened."

Felix looked away, recognition slowly dawning on his expression. "I did hear about Junior losing an honor duel. Many in the pack witnessed it. And when Junior lost, his condition was to…"

The rest of the recognition came quickly. About as quickly as Jimmy realized that his plan had backfired.

Felix was upon him before he could even consider raising his gun again, grabbing Jimmy by the throat and effortlessly lifting him with one arm. "If you really are telling the truth, then why should I even bother with the duel?!" he snarled viciously. "I can take my revenge right here, then move on to the Wildes anyway!"

Jimmy didn't have a persuasive counterargument to that, not that it mattered as his soon-to-be-crushed trachea wouldn't let him voice it anyway.

But just as his vision was getting hazy, Felix dropped him on his back and stepped away, panting heavily as if he were the one having trouble breathing. "I lost control again…" he said to himself. "Above all else, I cannot lose control."

Jimmy coughed a bit, rubbing his throat. He didn't dare speak now, just watching Felix warily.

The wolf leaned over Fenrir for support, taking a few deep breaths before finally turning back to Jimmy. "Your fortitude is...admirable. Confessing such a truth to me despite knowing the potential consequences. You are either very brave or very short-sighted."

"At least one of those!"

"The talking plushie is a little strange, but otherwise I'm intrigued. I want to give you a fighting chance, see what it was that enabled you to defeat my brother. Consider that my prize."

"Then you accept?" Jimmy asked, still on the floor.

"Yes," Felix answered, pointing up at the neon sign. "So I suggest you choose wisely because I am not going to make this easy."

"R-Right." Jimmy quickly got up and started scouring the room for another bike. If only he hadn't lost The Motorsicle. Now he had to come up with a sequel that could at least match up to the original, a difficult feat for even the most talented of riders. Felix wasn't even rushing him, just standing there and watching with casual interest. It was the kind of confidence he probably should have been more concerned about, but finding the right bike had completely overtaken him at the moment.

The bike found him, Jimmy nearly tripping over it by the way its front wheel jutted out. He gasped at the sight. It was a white vintage motorcycle decked out in chrome plating, high handlebars, and an extended front wheel. It was also a lot slimmer than his previous ride, making it faster and more evasive, much like himself.

It was perfect.

"Where am I gonna sit?"

Almost perfect.

But it would have to do. Now all it needed was a name. Thanks to all the time he'd spent with Nick, that part proved a lot easier. "I dub thee: Dinosaur Killer!" He turned back to Felix. "You got a wine bottle for me to smash over this?"

"And ruin the paint job? No, but I'll give you something else, as a gesture of good sportsmamship." Before Jimmy could try to stop him, and likely fail, Felix approached his newly-christened bike and fished something out of his pocket. With a bit of wire, he attached it to the front, right between the handlebars.

It was a wolf skull, much like the ones that adorned Fenrir and Junior's former bike Cerberus. "I know this is like a tradition for you guys, but were you really just carrying that around?"

"For a little while, yes," he admitted. "Felt wrong to just get rid of it, in spite of everything. Now it has purpose again."

"O...kay?" It did look pretty authentic at least. "Thank you?"

"You're welcome. Now we ride."

Not wasting any more time, Jimmy and Felix pulled their bikes over to the gated elevator in the back and rode it up. After an awkward moment or two in complete silence, the elevator opened again on surface level, giving both of them an idea what their arena of challenge was going to be like.

A whole racetrack was set before them, and not a straight, circular one either. It was filled with twists and turns, plus varying levels of elevation. Even so, that seemed unusually tame for either Reynard or the Langs, so Jimmy suspected there would be more surprises in store. All of this was surrounded by a ring of empty bleachers, almost trapping them inside.

"Interesting," Felix observed. "As neither of us is familiar with this track, I propose a three-lap race to settle the duel, first rider to cross wins. Sound fair?"

Jimmy was facing a more powerful opponent on a more powerful machine, and both still had far more experience riding in general than he did. But under the circumstances? "Yeah, that's fair."

"Good." Both of them pulled their bikes up to the checkered starting line.

"Oh, and sorry to tweak the rules at the last second, but I'm also gonna need Lang's key if I win." Not that he only just remembered that now or anything.

"What are you talking about? What key?" Felix asked, glancing at Fenrir's for a second before he dismissed that. "I'm an intruder here too, remember?"

"But then who has…?"

Something off to the side caught his eye, and Jimmy realized that they weren't alone up here after all.

Sitting in a checkered lawn chair was RJ, a can of beer taped to his free paw and a flag attached to the back of his pen. The suited Wallabeanie could emote even less effectively than Felix, yet he looked ready to enjoy the race regardless. Sitting harmlessly on his lap was Lang's key.

"Yoooooooooou!" Wallace hissed. "Jimmy, you win this duel alone. I have a score to settle with my old foe."

"I think you've met, like, once outside of dreams."

"You can't hold on to me forever! You have to trust me! Trust in the power of friendship!"

Watching all of this, Felix very slowly lifted an eyebrow in confusion.

"Alright, best buddy. If you think you can handle it." Jimmy walked over and popped Wallace into the chair next to RJ. "Have fun, you two!"

"Imma kill him."

Even Felix was starting to lose his patience a bit by the time Jimmy came back. "Are we quite done yet?"

"Yep, ready to go!" Jimmy hopped up on Dinosaur Killer, shifting around in the seat and adjusting the pedals a bit to make himself comfortable before finally starting it up, grinning gleefully at the experience.

"You look far too happy for one about to participate in an honor duel," Felix noted. "I seek to better express my emotions while you wear them on your sleeve. I expect this race will be...informative."

Reynard seemed to agree.

"The allegedly-innocent pup challenges the vengeful crusader!"

"Three laps around the track to prove which of them is greater!"

Felix scowled, trying to ignore him as he set his eyes on the road ahead. "We'll begin on three. One…"

Jimmy readied himself, testing the handlebars. "Two…"

"Three!"

"Go!" But Felix was already zooming ahead. "Gah, wait up!" Jimmy quickly sped off after him.

I wish you were watching this, Nick. Now it's my turn to save your bacon!

---

Sandcat Sanchez's Musical Madhouse

10: 13 PM

Carla was afraid of no ghost. As far as she was concerned, all of hers could stay in the past where they belonged.

After passing through the creaky gate, Carla headed up a long dirt road, surrounded by grass on both sides. The dirt was uneven and the grass mostly dead, but she supposed that was only fitting for this setting. Reynard must have been beside himself with glee when he discovered that he could better preserve the atmosphere by cutting corners on maintenance costs.

She looked up at the building she was approaching, a rickety old mansion about three stories tall, or at least something designed to resemble such. It must have been here for less than a month, yet the designers had tried very hard, perhaps a little too hard, to make it look like it had stood for centuries. It was cast in the glow of artificial moonlight from the walls above, the actual moon still obstructed by the storm clouds from earlier, and the fabricated thunder and lightning that kicked up as she got close just wasn't the same. Still, it did beat the haunted house she and Priscilla had gone through on their first date, which had also been wrecked.

They even had a small cemetery planted in the front yard for added effect. Carla decided to humor them a bit and looked them over, curious if they wrote the names of the designers on them or something.

Here lies Carla Hyenandez

She laughed

She loved

She died screaming

To her embarrassment, that did actually make her jolt a little, especially with the clap of fake thunder that came with it. "Alright, Sang, come on out! I know you're the one waiting for me here!"

"No guano." Perched on the slanted awning above the entrance was Lucy Sang in the form of a gargoyle, and perched atop the gargoyle was Lucy Sang. She sat leisurely with one leg crossed over the other, the former holding a Sanchez-shaped key in its clawed foot. Seeing that she had gotten her attention, the bat took a sip from a small wine glass of blood before even bothering to acknowledge her further. "Nice to see your deductive skills have improved."

"And here I recall reading you like a book," Carla shot back. "Not that it was a very difficult read. You aren't the most complicated of mammals."

"What is a mam?!" She abruptly flung the glass at Carla's head, the hyena just tilting it slightly out of the way to dodge. "Tch. Your sense of humor still sucks though. I guess even an onslaught of forced laughter couldn't brighten those clouds."

"Believe me, I'll be plenty happy once you're put away for good."

"So eager! Have you seen all of my lawn ornaments?"

Not only hadn't she, but Carla was now sitting irreverently on her own tombstone. Now that she did though, she spotted several names she didn't recognize. "Friends of yours?"

"Some of them were, yes," she answered, looking over the cemetery with an almost nostalgic air. "Some were enemies from the start. Some were just victims, those I bothered to actually get a name from anyway. Of course, a lot of those were rodents, so they get the little graves."

Carla noticed several smaller tombstones lining the space between the larger ones. There would hardly be any room to step if she actually took any of this seriously. "You must be so proud."

"Proud? Nah, that's not the word I'd use. More...contented." She smiled down at her, fangs glinting in the manufactured moonlight. "You've raised some strong points about me, Carla. You may even be right. But you know what? That's all meaningless when I'm up here and you're down there in the dirt. Corpses don't have the luxury of argument. Maybe that's all the validation I need."

Carla stood up again, kicking the tombstone over behind her. "You're right. It is meaningless. Because all I care about right now is getting that key. So either hand it over or I'll have to beat it out of you."

"Don't lie. I know you're looking forward to this just as much as I am." She tossed the key up into the air, then hung upside-down from her own gargoyle's fangs just to catch it again, grinning mockingly at Carla. "In the land of the dead, unfinished business is top priority. You've got unfinished business, don'tcha? After all, you didn't even get to face me yourself last time. Your little helpers took care of that, while you were too busy…" She started cackling maniacally, probably intended as a mocking imitation of her but quickly devolving into something much more deranged.

Carla impatiently waited until she was done. "You seem even more unhinged than usual, Sang. Did my mate turning you into an astrological sign rattle your skull too hard?"

"Oh, I'm rattled alright!" Lucy released her grip and now took flight, circling over Carla's head. "You come waltzing in here all cool and confident, thinking you're soooooo much better than me! You! A liar, a thief, a traitor! Maybe not a murderer yet, but that's still only one degree of separation between you and me! And yet you think you have the right to mock my past, destroy my work, humiliate me in front of my own audience?! HOW DARE YOU!"

Carla stayed on guard, watching her movements carefully. The shine of the key was almost impossible to keep track of among her frantic flapping. But it helped her tune out what she was saying.

"And that's not even getting into the latest disappointment! Let me tell you about a little trip of mine!"

She couldn't ignore that. Lucy was pissed about something not related to her? That was news.

The bat's circular pattern grew tighter and tighter. "After I lost the Belfry, I was in a pretty sorry state of affairs, hiding out in the woods and just trying to lay low. But wouldn't you know it, I wasn't the only one! I met someone else out there, someone of great renown, who shared with me some pieces of wisdom. More than that, he offered me a place there, somewhere I could just settle down and relax without having to look over my shoulders. It was a fantastic arrangement. Seemingly perfect."

And yet here she was. "So what happened then?"

"Let's just say the deal wasn't good enough. Are you familiar with sharks? I suppose you would be after I tried to feed you to one. I've found a few things in common with them, you see. We're both ferocious, bloodthirsty, solitary hunters who must remain constantly in motion. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's being rooted to one spot. I've gotten enough of that from my family, my jailors, the Infernum, even the Count. So if you try to tell a mammal like me to chain myself down, then that chain had better be made out of solid gold! I'm not gonna settle for silver, no matter how much slack you try to give me!"

Carla scoffed. "Wanna know what I think? I think you're just afraid of changing. You may have had an opportunity to leave all this behind, but doing that would be like admitting that the life you had before really was nothing but a waste. So you found the first excuse you could to turn it down."

Both Lucy's flight path and her monologue came to a sudden stop. "You weren't even there!"

"But I'm in the ballpark, aren't I? Like I said, you're not a difficult read."

"There was a complex set of factors involved in-!"

"Yeah, I doubt that. You've got denial written all over your face." Carla pointed back at the gargoyle, which Lucy could only see clearly from this angle. The word "DENIAL" had been written several times on it in red pen.

"Eat a dick, Reynard!"

"The poorly-translated luchadora vs. the baroness of bad decisions!"

"Stick them in a ghost house together and we'll see who wins!"

"So that's how it's gonna be, huh? Well you know what?! I don't need you! I don't need him! I don't need anyone!" While she was now hovering in place, Lucy's flying only grew less predictable, the bat making sudden, jerky motions from side to side. She turned her frenzied glare back down on Carla. "I don't need a legacy either, I only need my fun! My statue may crumble, but I'll be dancing atop it to the end! So until then, LOOK UPON MY GODDAMN WORKS!"

Lucy swooped down onto the front porch of the mansion and spread her wings, both of the wooden double doors opening with a demonic roar. The bat laughed one last time, giving a taunting wave with the key before flying into the building.

"I'm looking alright, I just don't see anything worth my time." Carla bounded after her on all fours, charging right through the front doors again as they tried to close on her. "So quit wasting it!"

---

Piers Narwhalter's Flumes of Doom

10: 14 PM

Spending most of his time behind a desk these days meant that Chief Bogo's memory of actually taking part in cases himself tended to focus on the more recent ones. As a result, he was already getting flooded with memories of the Narwhalter investigation when it felt like he had just been there yesterday.

Even so, he doubted that any case (using the term "case" very loosely) could possibly stick in his mind more than this one right here.

The water park was designed like a graveyard of ships, a single boardwalk taking Bogo through the middle of them, then branching off to visit the various attractions that had been crafted from the ships' wooden hulls. He could see several pirate-themed rides contained within, as well as an abundance of seafood restaurants. They blocked off his view so effectively that the place was a veritable maze. Finding a single key in this nautical heap was going to be a chore, and that was assuming Reynard hadn't simply chucked it into the surrounding waters somewhere.

Either that or he would put it in the largest and most eye-catching thing around. Bogo opted to try that first.

Straight ahead at the end of the boardwalk was "The Wailing Wailer", a pirate ship ride that appeared to be incomplete. It was dark brown in color and swayed very gently back and forth, getting nowhere near the amount of lift one would expect at a normal amusement park, let alone this one. Even the ship's bowsprit appeared to be missing entirely, but he could spot a hole for one. It was pretty small though. The only thing that came to mind that could even fit in there was...a narwhal tusk.

Bogo relished in a quiet smirk. Seeing one of his enemy's failures highlighted in a place dedicated to his ego proved to be an unexpected treat.

The ship exploding seconds later was just plain unexpected. It wasn't the fiery kind of explosion; the kind caused by a bomb. Rather, it was like it had simply been struck with enough force to burst its wooden frame like a balloon. If he didn't know any better, he would consider that notion ridiculous.

The ship's keel remained mostly intact. Now freed from the metal pole that ineffectually tried to swing it, it formed a floating platform on the water, and atop that platform stood Drummond Rane. The wallaby was in pretty rough shape, still badly charred and covered in tiny bites and scratches from before. He had ditched the Discard jersey completely while his fedora remained barely in one piece atop his head. Still, he looked as unperturbed as ever. "You kept me waiting, mate."

"Terribly sorry. Next time leave clearer directions. And for that matter, just save us both the trouble and leave the key on the dock."

He actually smiled a little. "Is that confidence I'm sensing?"

"It's pragmatism," he said bluntly. "I don't have time for this. Whatever this even is to you. I have a job."

"Do ya now?" Drummond asked, cracking his neck side to side. "And what job would that be?"

"You know damn well what. I need that key I know you're holding so I can-"

"Not what I meant," the wallaby cut him off. "I meant your real job. The one you work yourself over daily."

"My position as Police Chief?" Bogo tugged on his collar, his stars clearly showing. "Did you really need to ask that?"

"I did. 'Cause to me, a job is more than a mere holding of rank." He stomped, the force creating a small wave around his makeshift raft. "Me, I'm the CEO of Wallabeanie Inc. I'm also an assassin. Some believe those jobs don't mix. I believe that someone in a position of power ought to have earned it."

"I wouldn't be holding the rank if I didn't earn it," Bogo insisted. Trying to kill him wasn't so unusual, but trying to question his competency was quickly earning the chief's ire.

"I don't doubt that." And he didn't sound like he was doubting it either. "I had to fight tooth and nail to get where I am, and that's not bloody hyperbole. It was just plain bloody. But it didn't stop there either. My passion lies in making toys, and in order to pursue that passion, I couldn't content myself with sitting behind a desk. I had to keep fighting, in the kind of battles that you're trying to flake out of right now."

"I'm not even supposed to be on the field," he snapped back. "The only reason I am is to help my officers, especially the one who's a huge pain in my arse. You try to draw me into some fight to the death and I'll do it for no other reason than to accomplish that task. That's it."

"Ha! So that's it!" He stomped again, this time out of mirth, and created a wave large enough that it splashed Bogo's knees. "I knew there was something about ya that caught me eye! Most mammals in your position are a bunch of wee bludgers too scared to crawl out from behind their fancy desks, but you charged right out there for nothing but the sake of your own ideals! I'm glad I found someone worthy to spar with!"

"Are you serious?" Amazingly, he was even more pissed now. "You're telling me that all this time you've spent trying to chase me down and pummel me to a pulp was just your own special way of exchanging business cards?!"

"Of course! I admit that I thought less of ya at first, but now I know that you were only running from me because I couldn't give ya what you needed. Somethin' you'd actually want to fight for." He pulled Narwhalter's key out from under his hat, pinching it between two claws. "But the Count fixed that little mess, now didn't he? So get the hell over here and rough me up, mate!" Drummond stomped one last time, the resulting wave engulfing Bogo completely.

For sure, he wasn't seeing a whole lot of reason not to hurt this mammal. Bogo backed up a few paces, then charged forward and jumped, the momentum carrying him off of the dock and onto the floating arena. "At least you finally bothered to explain yourself. I was almost starting to get bored of you."

"To be honest, you're both kinda boring," Reynard chimed in. "Not your fault, you just hopped on the bandwagon too late. Actually, I guess that kinda is your fault. But no matter! I have a solution to help liven things up!"

The platform rocked under Bogo's hooves once again, but Drummond Rane had not been the cause this time. Both buffalo and wallaby watched as a dorsal fin rose out of the water surrounding them, much larger than any shark that Bogo had ever seen. Jury was still out on the mad marsupial. But not only was the fin large, it also appeared to be completely made of metal.

"Introducing: a character nobody asked to see again! Clap your flippers for this science project gone wrong, it's the return of David the Robot Shark!"

The fin vanished beneath the waters for a moment, followed by the mechanical shark leaping out and over both of their heads. David gave them a good look of his solid metal body, glowing red eyes, and whirring razor teeth before he splashed down on the opposite side. Despite his frightening appearance, he barely seemed to be paying attention to them at all, just making laps around the area with the occasional spin or jump. It was almost cute. "He seems...happy," Bogo noted.

"How touching, he's back where he belongs. As a pool security guard, 'cause that's actually what Dr. Hareison designed him as. Fun facts!"

"You little ripper!" Drummond exclaimed, and it took Bogo a second to realize he wasn't referring to the shark. "You certainly do know how to make things interesting, Count! Oh, we're gonna enjoy this one!"

"Don't lump me in with you," Bogo groaned, getting ready for the fight of his life.

"The blue buffalo locks horns with the professional killer!"

"Does anyone even care about this one or is it just filler?"

This was for his officers, Bogo repeated to himself. But his officers owed him big when it was all over.

---

Control Room

10: 20 PM

Watching all of this go down, Count Reynard reclined in his chair and rapidly shifted his focus from one monitor to the next. Everything was proceeding smoothly so far, though the number of moving parts involved in this particular plan was enough to make even him a bit nervous about pulling it off. He glanced at the feed from outside, then again at the monitors showing the inside, then at a softly glowing red light on the wall, then back to the monitors.

Perhaps a more concise visual would help. Reynard spun the chair around, now facing a chess board set up on a table behind him. He was more of a card game guy himself, but it seemed appropriate regardless. There wasn't even a full set of pieces in play; just all the pieces that mattered.

On the north side of the board stood the White Queen, a pair of floppy ears poking out from her crown as she stared up at the towering bulk of the Black Bishop, his sheer size almost eclipsing her. In the center was the White King, the badge-wearing tod looking completely over the head of the short Black Pawn beneath him. Both of them were riding on a set of dominoes arranged in a rectangular shape. On the edge of the board, the White Knight was lined up beside the Black Knight, both canine pieces riding horse heads like bikes. Reynard reared both of them back and added some "vroom vroom" noises for effect. Over in one corner, the Black Queen was perched high atop a stack of checkers, wings spread and tongue hanging out at the fuming, spotted form of the White Rook below. In the opposite corner, the White Bishop shoved up against the Black Rook, both pieces sitting precariously on an alphabet block with a goldfish cracker waiting below.

Reynard held his cane over the board, one last piece balanced atop its head. The Black King, a handsome fellow with a suit and a winning smile, was content to just watch the festivities from above, looking down upon them all. Satisfied with this arrangement, Reynard did the same. "Round 2...FIGHT!"

---

Mr. Big's Frozen Funland

10: 22 PM

For a guy with an injured leg, Judy did not expect Koslov to move so fast. After Simon, she really didn't have any excuse to be surprised either.

She dodged his first swipe mainly due to being a bunny, then leapt onto his arm with the second, going for the classic approach of springboarding off of it for a flying kick. Koslov proved to be unreceptive to the classics and swatted her out of the air before she reached him. Judy sprang back up and tried several more kicks to his sides and belly, all of which were blocked before he kneed her to the ground again. She emptied every tranq dart she had into him, but he barely even noticed.

Yes, this was starting to feel uncomfortably similar to Simon. Unfortunately, swiping the MacGuffin and running wasn't going to be a viable tactic this time, even if she could manage it.

Koslov raised his right foot and Judy quickly rolled out of the way before he flattened her, the impact leaving a small crater in the snow. Before he could try for another stomp, Judy pivoted on her paws and kicked as hard as she could into his other, injured leg. Not her most honorable move, but it served its purpose, making him reel back while she scrambled out from under him. Judy capitalized with another flying kick to his gut that landed this time, making him stumble but not quite toppling him.

"I am afraid this is one wall you shall not climb, Officer Hopps. I will bury you here, forgotten amongst the snow and ice. Very fitting."

She backed away, trying to regroup so she could go back on the attack. "How is that fitting?"

"I suppose the irony of the situation would be lost on you. Pity. I almost understand Reynard's fondness for it."

"Oh, NOW you get me!"

Judy continued moving back, eyes firmly on Koslov, an action that cost her when she tripped over something. Looking behind her, she saw that she had walked idly towards a merchandise stand, filled with appropriately Big selections. The culprit was a pogo stick with a grey frame and black handles, plus a raccoon tail attached to the back.

It wasn't the only tasteless item on display, and as Koslov closed the gap between them, she grabbed hold of another. The bear reached down to nab her and Judy flung a fresh skunk butt rug into his face. He let out an ursine roar and swiped at her anyway, but blinded as he was, he overshot the mark. Instead of grabbing Judy in his massive paw as intended, he caught her under his swinging arm and accidentally launched her into the air.

Amazingly, she actually landed on something that wasn't the cold hard ground. It was instead a thin wooden surface, surrounded by a thick plastic cylinder and elevated a few feet above the surface. As strange as it was to believe, she had apparently been flung into some sort of airborne cup.

"Fitting indeed," she heard Koslov say, watching through the transparent surface as he bent down and grabbed a large pawful of snow, packing it tightly together into ball form. She doubted it could break through her makeshift shield even with his strength behind it, so she wasn't sure what he was really planning until she saw what else was outside.

A big target, sticking directly out of the side of the cup, and a sign right above her.

Ice 'Em! Win a Prize!

Judy's mental processes were thankfully as fast as the rest of her and she leapt onto the edge of the cup just before Koslov's snowball struck the target. The wooden floor she had just been standing on burst open, revealing what she could only assume was ice cold water below. Still, the impact alone was enough to jostle her from the edge, thankfully on the outside.

It was here that she discovered the alleged prize, a stand of "Iced Pops". They were mostly ordinary ice pops, but with little gummi mammals frozen inside. They were the best weapon she had now though, and she flung several in Koslov's direction.

He had just been coming at her again when the unexpected attack resulted in several frozen treats sticking to his paw. While he struggled to dislodge them, Judy leapt back onto the cup, vaulted off of it, and landed a double kick to his jaw that finally knocked him to the ground, making a tremendous crash.

Not having the time to celebrate, Judy was finally forced to take off running. Not for good, just until she could find some way to really gain an advantage that didn't rely on spontaneous theme park gimmicks.

She then stumbled upon a spontaneous theme park gimmick, a towering castle made of ice that appeared to lead to an indoor playground. At least she wouldn't be in the open then, and could maybe work out some sort of tactical advantage. Though the place didn't exactly advertise itself as such.

Ye Olde Castle to Ditch Your Screaming Kits at and Go About Your Day With No Hassle

aka

No-Hassle Castle

"You know, the time you spent reading that really should have been used on running," Reynard pointed out.

Judy turned around, seeing Koslov slowly rise again. It was a little unsettling, the way he just sat up straight before slowly turning his head to face her. Like he wasn't even seeing her at all. Just a target as flimsy as that wooden one.

She took no more chances, rushing inside the castle.

---

Damien Thornbrush's Outback Safari

10: 24 PM

"What are you waiting for? Hit me."

"Last chance, Finn. Are you sure you wanna do this?"

"I've never been more sure about anything in my cold, cruel life."

"Yikes, morbid. You trying to guilt your way to victory?"

"If that was my goal, I would have already lost. Now stop yapping and hit me already!"

"Alright, you asked for it."

Nick flipped over a card. "23. That's a bust."

"Dammit!" Finnick slammed a tiny fist against the floor of the tram car. "I want a rematch! New game!"

Nick picked up the deck, already reshuffling it. "Fine by me. But I'm going first this time."

The fennec squinted. "You better not be pulling a fast one on me."

"Wouldn't dream of it, pal." Nick finished with the deck and started dealing out cards once again. "Let's try Poker this time. Maybe you'll last longer."

"Careful, smartass. Don't make me pick up the bat again."

He raised his paws disarmingly. "Hey, it could be worse. At least we're settling this like adults. Could be doing, I dunno, some overblown ritual combat."

---

Lady Lang's Bumper Bike Circuit

LAP 1

The honor duel was off to a rocky start, Jimmy and Dinosaur Killer already trailing behind Felix and Fenrir right out of the gate. The much larger bike sped ahead, boasting a greater top speed as it gained even more ground on the opening straightaway.

Dinosaur Killer soon proved its own strengths, however, as the track dipped to the right. It took the turn much more easily, closing some of that distance, and then closing more as the path straightened out again. It wasn't enough to catch up, but it did get Felix's attention again, the wolf shooting a curious glance back at him before putting his eyes back on the road.

It was fortunate that he did, for the next straightaway soon proved to be more than it appeared. With a whir, small pillars emerged from the sides of the track, carrying flamethrowers poised to heat up this competition. "Of course," Felix muttered, used to his pack's unique design choices. He turned Fenrir sharply to the right to avoid the first jet of flame that came out, then immediately had to turn it back to the left to avoid the next from the other direction, having to continuously zigzag to make it through the flames.

Jimmy had an easier time, able to make much tighter turns and clear the flamethrowers without them so much as singing his whiskers. He gradually closed the gap and came up to Felix's side, nearly passing him until the wolf used his final turn to also ram hard into his side. Jimmy veered away and skidded off the track entirely, experiencing a bit of turbulence on the uneven gravel outside. While Felix pulled ahead again, Jimmy spent a moment bouncing shakily up and down just to get back on track.

The road angled to the left again, then opened up into a much wider corridor, rows of spike strips blocking their path. This gave Felix only a second of pause before he pulled back hard, launching even the massive Fenrir into the air for a brief moment. It was long enough to clear the spikes, Felix barely even touching the ground again before he once again lifted off to jump the next row.

Jimmy had a lot more concern about this leg, knowing he couldn't hope to pull off something like that. With only a scant few seconds to consider it, he decided he should veer off the track again to avoid them despite how much time that would cost him. He didn't get the chance to actually do so as panels in the road opened and ramps emerged in front of him. "Well, that's convenient!" He revved forward and easily made the jumps, one row after another. He landed just behind Felix as the wolf finished clearing the obstacles his own way. Felix looked back in surprise that he'd caught up so quickly, then focused back on the road ahead.

The track moved to the right, and then into a giant U-curve with a wide left turn. In the space between the U, another pillar rose from the ground, a much thicker one. Slots opened on its sides and out popped three giant axes on poles, beginning to rotate in such a way that the interior of the curve had essentially become a blender. Felix hissed, not quite fast enough to get out of the way as one of the blades sliced into Fenrir's side, but it did little more than mess up his paint job. As for Jimmy, he wasn't fast enough to avoid the axe at all.

Which didn't mean much when he was too short for them anyway, the blades passing harmlessly over his head with nothing but a swishing noise and a light breeze. Able to safely take the inner route, he finally caught up to Felix as soon as they came out of the turn.

The track grew very curvy after that, winding back and forth like a snake and thus allowing Jimmy to pull gradually ahead. "I have to admit, your skills are impressive," Felix said, following his movements closely. "Where did you learn to ride this well?"

Jimmy put on a dramatic voice. "I played a lot of Meowrio Kart growing up."

"That's go-karts though."

He put on an even more dramatic voice. "They added bikes to the later installments."

"I see." He didn't sound quite so impressed anymore. "Well, I'm afraid your skills inherited from video games aren't going to win you a real race."

The track straightened out once again, opening up into another wide stretch. But there were no spike strips to greet them this time, or spinning blades, or flamethrowers.

Just a wide array of banana peels.

"Woo! Now I'm in my element!" Jimmy cheered, happily speeding ahead.

Felix's lip pulled back in disgust. "Ridiculous. I don't have time for these cheap stunts."

As Jimmy effortlessly swerved and weaved through the banana brigade, Felix followed close behind, forced to take a longer route due to the sheer size of his ride. He eventually found a clear path towards Jimmy's position and cut through it in another attempt to ram him in the side.

Seeing him coming, but not having time to get fully out of the way, Jimmy made a quick turn, angling his bike so that Felix was now facing parallel to him. Fenrir came up from the left, glancing Dinosaur Killer as it passed by, but not with nearly as much impact as a head-on collision. Jimmy was merely knocked away from him, only having to swerve around one more peel before he took a left turn onto the next stretch of road.

Felix was not so lucky, the wolf's momentum carrying him right into a few peels in succession. Caught in its tires, Fenrir jerked back and forth for a moment, then spun out, sending Felix off the track. "Don't lose control...don't lose control…" he repeated to himself, having to yank the peels out of his hydraulics before starting up again.

Even on the long straightaway Jimmy now found himself driving, he had a tremendous lead. At the end of it, he could see that the track made one last sharp turn to the left that would bring him back to the starting line.

He might have gone just a little bit faster at that moment with how hard his tail was wagging. He'd almost completed one lap already and was now in first place! It was a good thing all of those traps and obstacles hampered Felix way more...than...

It was then that Jimmy came to a stunning realization. "Wait a minute, this race is rigged!"

"Of course it's rigged, you idiot!" Reynard responded. "If I have the chance to make Momma's Boy back there honorbound to get off my family's back, you can be damn sure I'm gonna take it! Killing him hasn't exactly panned out so far, so now we'll try your method."

"I'm not doing this for you!" Jimmy shouted back.

"Now doesn't that sound familiar? Reminds me of this story I heard about a rookie fox cop, not the clever one, who got top marks at the academy yet was somehow fooled by a few spoofed text messages. Not that I'm complaining. Thanks for the help, Snowflake! Again!"

Jimmy gritted his teeth, tuning out Reynard's mocking laughter and reminding himself that this time, he was out to save lives. That knowledge, not his bike, carried him across the checkered line.

---

Sandcat Sanchez's Musical Madhouse

Entrance

10: 17 PM

As soon as Carla entered the haunted house, she was assaulted by the wailing of the damned. She identified it soon after as old recordings of Sanchez's singing, distorted to be unintelligible but otherwise barely changed.

If that weren't horrifying enough, the hallway she was currently sprinting through seemed almost endless. She ran on all fours along a red-carpeted floor, dark brown wooden walls looming on each side. She kept her eyes peeled on Lucy Sang, the bat flying ahead of her with the key clenched tightly in her talons. But Carla was being watched as well, a portrait bearing Lucy's visage glaring down at her every few feet, its eyes seeming to follow her as she passed by.

Carla was so preoccupied with them that she almost didn't notice when something suddenly changed, a wall flipping out to block her current path while Lucy darted down the new one to the left. That would have been a minor inconvenience if said wall wasn't lined with spikes. She slammed on the brakes, skidding to a stop with her nose just poking one of them. "Ow."

"Better keep up, Carla!" Lucy taunted, turning around as she flew. "If you thought the Belfry was maze-like, you ain't seen nothing yet!"

Carla grunted and resumed her pursuit. "I hope you realize this whole 'find the key' schtick is totally ripping you off!"

"Oh, I know. But as an artist, I can respect another's interpretation!"

"Of all the laws I've broken, Joker, you're worried about copyright infringement?" Reynard asked.

Carla tuned him out and kept her eyes on Lucy, knowing she couldn't afford to get distracted again. Sure enough, the path soon changed a second time, a wall flipping out from the right now. As Lucy headed down the new route, Carla was left facing the wall, which wasn't lined with spikes this time.

The hyena darted left and right to dodge the spears now being launched at her. She was able to do so easily enough up until she needed to make the same turn Lucy had. Knowing she wouldn't be able to turn at all without exposing herself to getting shot, she had to get a little creative. As she reached the opening, Carla dodged a spear coming for her right, leapt onto the left wall, then thrust herself into the hall. A spear clipped the back of her jacket as she made the jump, but at least it didn't tear it off of her. Lucy still owed her for the last one.

"Goodie, you made it!" the bat cheered. And Carla could believe she was genuine solely because that death wouldn't have been gruesome enough for her. Lucy soon fled down the hall again as Carla chased her, the hyena starting to wonder if this was indeed never-ending.

One more wall panel flipped over on the left, but Lucy had gotten a head start on it and disappeared behind the wall before it closed. Once again lined with spikes, Carla stopped much quicker for it this time, snorting derisively. "Looks like this artist is pretty lacking in inspiration herself." She promptly veered to the left and ran through the new opening instead.

Or at least she would have if it were actually an opening. Carla slammed face-first into a fake wall, but one painted very convincingly. Like many of Lucy's other paintings, this one now had blood mixed into it.

She then heard an ominous creaking and looked back at the spike wall. It seemed to shudder a bit, then started to grow just a bit closer. Carla had to jump back into a roll as it came down completely, falling onto the floor.

"That was too close! You were almost a Carla sandwich!" Lucy laughed from directly behind it.

Carla promptly lunged for her and the bat fled again, swooping out of the hallway and into a much larger room beyond. It appeared to be the mansion's foyer, lit by a dim chandelier made of crystal. The red carpeting continued to a tall staircase at the back of the room, flanked by two suits of armor with Lucy hovering patiently at the top.

At this point, it was pretty much a game of whether or not she would come rushing at her again, knowing full well that more traps would be waiting. But of course she did. It wasn't like she had much of a choice.

Carla ran forward, sidestepping the chandelier as it came crashing down, split kick the suits of armor as they just started to raise their javelins at her, then charged up the stairs towards Lucy, leaping into the air just before the stairs suddenly shifted into a downward slope. The occasional hiccup aside, she was getting pretty good at this. She just needed to stay focused before that hiccup turned into a burp. A burp of death.

Lucy hissed in frustration, already retreating again as Carla landed at the top of the stairs, the bat slipping through a pair of doors behind her.

"Look, if you want to get rid of me so bad, I know you've probably got some big mega deathtrap somewhere in this place," Carla said, heading through the doors herself. "So can we just get to that and skip all of this running...around?"

She was now in another hallway, this one wider and with six more doors leading out of it, three on each side. On the left were red, blue, and yellow doors, and on the right, orange, purple, and green doors. Lucy poked out of the red door. "To answer your question: no!" She slammed it shut.

"Have it your way." Carla ran for the red door and followed her inside. Lucy already blew her chance to confuse her by showing her exactly where she went.

A few seconds later, Lucy flew out of the yellow door, Carla hot in pursuit, and they vanished again behind the green door. Then Carla ran back out of the orange door, Lucy chasing her with the sledgehammer from the Whack-A-Mole game, and into the red door. Martina came out of the blue door and scurried over to the purple door, having to jump for the handle to let herself in. Lucy came out of the green door, carrying Martina, as a hammer-wielding Carla chased them both through the red door. Martina rode out of the yellow door on a tricycle with an oversized front wheel, ringing its bell as the purple door opened to admit her. Carla stuck her head out of the blue door, looking around until Lucy threw a dog treat at her from the yellow door and she scrambled after her. Martina rode one of the raccoon-tailed pogo sticks out of the green door and down to the blue door. Martina then carried Lucy out of the red door, before Carla burst out of the orange door and they ran back through the red door. Dr. Hareison came out of the blue door, furrowed his brow in confusion, then muttered "Balls" and left through the purple door. Carla stumbled out of the red door and put her paws to her knees, panting. She watched Lucy swoop over her head and into the orange door, then forced herself to go after her again. But there was no Lucy behind the orange door.

There wasn't much of anything at all aside from one very large, very dangerous-looking mortar cannon.

Pointed straight at her.

In that split second of reaction time, the only thing Carla's mind thought to do was slam the door shut again and turn to run. She didn't get very far.

The resulting explosion launched Carla back through the double doors she'd entered from, into the foyer. She landed back on the staircase, which was still a sloped surface now, and started scrambling with her claws as she slowly began to get pulled down. A panel opened at the bottom of the stairs, a large plume of fire bursting out of it. She scrambled harder.

"I think I need to clear something up for you, Carla." In the midst of her struggle, the hyena looked up to see Lucy standing smugly at the top of the stairs. "You seem to be under the impression that this is still the 'fun and games' Lucy, putting you through wacky challenges to overcome. But I'm afraid I'm not that generous anymore. You are only here to die by my hand, and I don't even care how. If I had you thinking any differently, then that was the real trap."

Carla desperately tried to find purchase with her claws, but it was a losing battle and she slid, slowly by surely, closer to the fire pit. All the while Lucy giggled, with ever-increasing intensity, at the top. "No, you had your chance to be a star. Now you'll just burn like one!"

The flames caught the tip of Carla's tail and she screamed, thumping the appendage violently until it went out. That happened purely out of reflex, which wasn't going to save the rest of her from tumbling into the inferno. She couldn't climb back up, she couldn't get through the bannisters on either side, she couldn't even get enough footing to try jumping out. The only direction left to her was down.

So she went down.

Carla's frantic pounding against the slope hadn't gotten her the traction she needed to save herself, but it did reveal one thing. She was not on a solid surface, but a hollow one. There wasn't much point to a hollow staircase unless there was something beneath it, and in a place like this, that could be just about anything. Still, there was no ambiguity in where she was currently headed, so Carla took the chance, reared her fist back, and slammed it as hard as she could into the surface.

"Awww, is poor Carla taking out her frustrations on the architecture? Go right ahead if it makes your last moments any more fulfilling! It's doing wonders for me!" Lucy's gleeful giggles halted as she heard the distinct sound of metal bending below her.

One more hit should do it. With Carla having to manually tuck her tail under her arm to keep it out of the fire completely, she went for a second blow.

"Oh no. No no no! Not this shit again! You goddamn cheater!" Lucy let out a very batlike screech and charged her, intending to simply push her the rest of the way herself.

The second blow connected and the slope caved under Carla's force, the top of it dislodging from the rest of the staircase to now tilt in the opposite direction. Lucy's talons swished overhead as Carla was spilled onto a much larger slide beneath the stairs. Evidently, the mechanism was built to work in either direction and even Lucy hadn't considered that.

Now Carla was descending into the unknown, perhaps to an even deeper circle of Hell than the one she'd just escaped. Honestly, it wouldn't be the first time.

---

Piers Narwhalter's Flumes of Doom

10: 23 PM

"What do you do with a drunken Reynard?"

"What do you do with a drunken Reynard?"

"What do you do with a drunken Reynard?"

"Ear-ly in the morrrr-nin!"

Considering how he acted normally, a drunken Reynard was a truly terrifying prospect.

There was something very fulfilling about all this, Bogo had to admit, and not just because of the musical accompaniment. At first, being dragged into the middle of this ruckus had been well out of his comfort zone. But even he had been a beat cop once, and no amount of paperwork and bureaucracy could truly take that away. When forced into action, he could run, jump, and get kicked in the stomach just like any other officer.

"Feelin' the rush yet, mate?" Drummond asked, bouncing from one oversized foot to the other. "Come on, give me a whack now! Don't make me wait on ya!"

Bogo could still take orders like a beat cop too, charging forward with a low elbow barge and ramming the wallaby under the chin, followed by a straight punch that knocked him back. Drummond landed close to the edge, but didn't go over, much to the disappointment of David the Robot Shark.

"I am feeling the rush," Bogo replied simply. "I'm feeling something else too."

Drummond spat some blood into the water, enticing David further, before coming at the chief again. "Yeah? What's that?"

"There's something off about this whole situation." Bogo raised his arms in front of him and weathered Drummond's next kick, then headbutted him to the ground. "I'm engaging in a fistfight against a grossly overpowered wallaby in the middle of a theme park while being menaced by a robot. Don't you think that all sounds a little-?" David leapt out of the water at Bogo, who deftly jumped over him.

"Hrmm. When you put it like that, I 'spose it does sound a little-" The shark came for Drummond next, who also jumped over him. "But I ain't one to question it. You know how many mammals have trouble buyin' that I'm a CEO?"

"A not-insignificant number, I'm sure." Bogo rolled out of the way of a stomp, Drummond noticeably holding back so as to not break right through the relatively weak wooden surface. "Not sure I'd believe it myself if I hadn't read your file."

"And I can't blame ya. My employees though, they don't question it either. Neither do me clients, nor me business contacts." Drummond jumped again, this time landing directly behind Bogo and kicking him in the back. "Why? 'Cause that's what they're used to. It's just how things are for them. Had they been told in advance what kinda mammal I was, maybe they would'a been less accepting."

Bogo hit the floor of the makeshift raft, getting one of his horns stuck in the wood for a moment before he roughly yanked it out. "So what happened instead? They just embraced the madness?"

He suddenly found Drummond standing in front of him, who then grabbed him by both horns and threw him bodily towards the other end of the raft. "Nah, ya can't just embrace madness all at once. It's gotta be a gradual sort of thing. Start out relatively normal, give 'em what they'd expect, and bring in the stranger elements little by little. So by the time they get to the wallaby CEO who can headbutt tank shells, the madness has already taken over."

Bogo got back to his hooves, suddenly whirling around and socking David in the snout before he could bite into him. The metallic shark let out a whine and sank back into the water. "I suppose my suspension of disbelief has gone through some strength training as of late."

Reynard cleared his throat. "Alright, leave the meta humor to the professionals, you two. This is starting to make ME uncomfortable."

Bogo was willing to listen to his request, if only because he needed to put his full focus into winning this fight. Long-term experience gave him all sorts of tactical maneuvers to make use of, but recent experience told him very clearly that none of it would be effective against Drummond Rane. Going head-to-head with the wallaby could only end badly for him, but running away wasn't an option either, for reasons other than him sounding like a complete hypocrite for doing so now. If he wanted to earn Drummond's respect, and subsequently get that key from him, he'd need to somehow come out on top here.

Something came up behind him and Bogo turned, ready to wail on David again, but the shark was nowhere in sight. What arrived instead was a small raft with a big prize, a treasure chest wrapped up tightly in chains with a giant padlock.

Drummond was about to jump again when he stopped, looking over at it in recognition. "Is that one of mine?"

Bogo wasn't sure if he was talking about the chest, for it also came with a passenger. A Wallabeanie wearing pirate garb was riding atop it, holding a key much larger than the one he was currently fighting for. True to his words, Bogo found himself not questioning it and grabbed the key, shoving it into the lock.

"Oi, you gotta pay for that!" Drummond shouted, hopping up and down in agitation. "Bloody pirates!"

Ignoring him, Bogo popped open the chest and peered inside. He sighed heavily at the contents, but reached in anyway. "Embrace the madness."

He then turned and threw an actual cannonball at the wallaby, proving just as capable of chucking those as his fellow officers. The heavy iron ball nailed an unprepared Drummond in the gut, knocking him clear over the side of the platform. He didn't even hit the water before he was caught by an eager David and pulled under.

Bogo reached back into the chest, where more cannonballs sat ready, and pulled out another one. He tossed it idly up and down in his hoof, waiting patiently.

Drummond burst out of the water. "Right! Now I'm-!" Another cannonball struck him in the face, sending him back into the water.

"Maybe I can get used to this." Bogo reached for a third.

He had to quickly retract his hoof as the entire raft burst, David's large frame coming up through the bottom of it. "That's quite enough of that!" Drummond said, riding atop the shark's dorsal fin. He gave the artifishial construct an almost scolding slap on the side before he leapt off and landed back across from Bogo. "You're lucky I kept ahold of that key for ya, mate." His fedora had also survived the voyage, Drummond lifting it to show that Narwhalter's key was still there.

"Figured you would. You know it's the only thing keeping me here."

"Now that's the kind of trust mammals like us should share," Drummond replied, obviously missing his point. "No more of these underhanded shenanigans."

Several more rafts popped up all around them, each carrying a sealed treasure chest and slowly closing in. "Bloody hell!" yelled the wallaby. "These are all just being ripped off from me own company!"

"How appropriate," Bogo noted, already seeing some of them coming to shore. "I'm starting to feel like one of your employees."

---

Mr. Big's Frozen Funland

No-Hassle Castle

10: 30 PM

As Judy entered the ice castle, she found that the place truly was the perfect distraction for both hyperactive children and inattentive parents alike. Despite being a relatively open space, it was filled with a huge assortment of play areas for them to get lost in. Hanging above this on all sides were medieval-style banners depicting various members of the former Big Mafia: Mr. Big himself, sitting on an oversized throne and peeking out from an oversized crown, the polar bears dressed as knights and wielding icicles as lances, and the Vixens posing in a garden as dashing court maidens. The artwork was impressive, but with Koslov's thudding steps pounding behind her, Judy was more focused on the "getting lost" part.

She made a beeline for a sprawling tube maze, not having time to put her paw protectors in the shoe rack before she scrambled into a large red tube. Large for her, but not for Koslov, who took a swipe at her as she entered the maze but couldn't fit inside himself. Judy's path went straight and then up, reminding her more than a little of the ZPD's air vents, just more colorful.

As such, she didn't think for a second that she was safe, and the rattling of the mesh outside the maze soon confirmed that. "So the rabbit seeks to escape into her hole? That may have worked for your ancestors, but it will not work for you," Koslov spoke, sounding much closer than she would have liked.

The space inside was big enough for her to run through, but Judy slowed to a crawl regardless, ears swiveling every which way. "And what does that make you? The big, scary predator?" She was still in disbelief over the bear's apparent support of Bellwether's scheme, though the way he'd phrased it gave her some doubts about that theory.

Her ears curled as the mesh crunched loudly. "A predator, yes, just not the traditional kind."

"Then what kind of predator are you?"

Koslov's fist plowed through the tubing in front of her. "The ambush kind!"

Judy immediately turned around and doubled back, taking a different turn through the plastic pathway instead. She started running now, but that only caused her to almost get flattened by Koslov's fist as it now crashed down through the top. She reversed direction again as he laughed. "Run all you like! This child's plaything will be your tomb!"

Navigating an obstacle course while an angry polar bear tells me how dead I am. This day is taking me back.

Again, Koslov's arm came down and cut off her path. Judy turned around, only to find his other arm blocking the way back. He had chopped clear through the tubing on either side, leaving her current space suspended only by the mesh. Looking back and forth, Judy sucked in a breath and flattened herself against the wall, both bear paws reaching inside to crush her between them.

The attempt failed, but she guessed what he'd try next. In the brief moment he pulled his paws back out, she could see the opening of the tube she'd been trying to get to, now with just a short gap between them. She hesitated to take the chance, but forced herself to anyway, jumping the gap as both of Koslov's arms came down on her previous hideout and destroyed it completely. Then she ran some more.

At this point, she was looking for a way out of the maze rather than further in, since using the place to her tactical advantage hadn't exactly worked out. But the first slide she passed heading back down was distinctly rodent-sized. The second, though, was a medium-sized slide, similar to the one she'd first climbed up. Judy ran past it at first, then stopped her momentum so she could go back to use it. Still, she had to appreciate Reynard at least offering some accessibility for different-sized mammals.

Uh oh.

She heard a rapid thumping noise and turned to see a third slide, one for large mammals, shaking aggressively as Koslov crawled up it. Judy let out a yell and ran for the medium slide when the bear seized her leg, roaring viciously. She struggled beneath him and kicked him repeatedly with her other leg whilst screaming.

"Here at Wilde Times, we pride ourselves on our accessibility," Reynard announced dryly. "Big or small, cop or crook, we've got something for everyone. So take a look around and enjoy your stay.

WildeTimesisnotresponsibleforbeingmauledtodeathbyapolarbearwhileenjoyingyourstaysojusttryandsueus."

Judy finally kicked Koslov hard enough to audibly crack his nose and slipped out from under him, jumping for the slide. The bear's claws swung out and caught her in the back in mid-air, turning her desperate leap into an undignified plummet. She didn't know exactly how much damage he'd done, but her back stung like Hell and the pain grew worse with each tumble along the slide.

Fortunately, she'd soon get some ice for it as the slide spilled her out into a giant snowball pit. Judy hit the snow, which instantly became coated in red, and quickly "swam" away before Koslov emerged from the other slide. The bear stood up, tall enough to touch the bottom of the pit with his whole upper torso still sticking out, and looked around for his target. He followed the trail of blood a few paces until it suddenly ended. Grunting, he started shuffling through it in his search. "You cannot hide from me, Officer Hopps. I have been awakened to my true purpose now, thanks to Nikolai."

Koslov found her shortly thereafter, when Judy kicked him hard in the back of the head and again toppled him into the snow. "I'll tell Nick your thanks," she said, light enough to land back on the surface of it without falling through. "In the meantime, you can go back to sleep."

She looked back at the tube maze they had just popped out of, now all but unusable after how much Koslov had ripped through it. It had been unusable regardless as a weapon against him. The snowball pit, however, would do just nicely. She'd have to give Nick her thanks as well for inspiring this next move.

Before Koslov even got back up again, Judy did a graceful dive into the snow, then tunneled beneath it. The bear stood and turned around, once again seeing the rabbit nowhere in sight before she burst out of the snow and landed a kick to his chest. He staggered, but stayed upright, attempting to clamp his paws around the rabbit again, and failing as she slipped back into the snow. He could see the large gashes he'd left on her back, but even the traces of blood she was leaving everywhere wouldn't help him find her under the snow.

Judy flew out again and kicked him across the face, landing on the opposite side. He barely registered that when she did the exact same thing in reverse. "This is futile," he insisted. "You will not keep me down."

"Don't need to." She then emerged from directly below him, planting both feet in his chin and knocking him over once more. This time Judy landed atop the bear's chest, quickly reaching into his front pocket and pulling out Big's key before jumping back off.

A bloodied Koslov glared as Judy came out one final time on the other end of the pit, waving the key back at him victoriously. "You said you know your true purpose now? Big deal, I've known mine since I was little. To make the world a better place, whether you like it or not."

---

Damien Thornbrush's Outback Safari

10: 32 PM

"Annnnnnd that's game," Nick said, putting his cards down. "I win again."

"I don't believe it!" Finnick growled.

"Really? You think you have a Poker face?"

"I think I'm about to slap you upside yours!"

"Don't be a sore loser, Finn. You're scaring the animals." Nick pointed outside the window, at the roaming savages who weren't even paying them any mind. "Just tell me what we're playing next."

In response, Finnick swiped at the cards, scattering the entire deck all over the tram car.

"52-Card Pickup then? I'm game." Tuning out the fuming fennec, Nick started to calmly clean up the cards.

Finnick glared a bit longer before he relented and he too started to gather the cards.

Nick grabbed a few more.

Finnick collected some of his own.

Nick gathered a bunch.

Finnick seized an assortment.

And both quickly grew desperate for some excitement.

---

Lady Lang's Bumper Bike Circuit

LAP 2

Jimmy was on cloud nine as he maintained his lead, trying hard to ignore the voices on the other eight below who were yelling up at him that he was helping the bad guy again. Putting that into perspective, helping the bad guy who was trying to corrupt Nick was still better than helping the one trying to kill him, so he pressed on.

But so did Felix, the wolf already back in the race and quickly gaining ground again on that first long straightaway. His expression was relatively calm given the circumstances, but there was a determined glare in his eyes that made Jimmy hesitant to slow down again for even a second.

"My, the Big Bad Wolf is nipping at your heels," Reynard noted with amusement. "Better shake him off before he sends your little piggies to market. Don't worry, best buddy, I've got just the thing!"

Jimmy had to take his eyes off of Felix for a moment to dodge around the alternating flamethrowers again. But when he was able to spare a glance back, he saw that the wolf was no longer driving alone. A half-dozen smaller vehicles were now coming up on him from every side, shaped like miniature, black bumper cars bearing a crossed-out dollar sign for an insignia. They each appeared to be driven by little smiling Reynard robots, but the long antennas sprouting from the back of the cars made it clear that they were all being remote-controlled.

"Meet the Tax Dodgems, my personal tribute to every criminal dumb enough to get caught for petty white-collar crimes!" Reynard announced. "They evade the law, but you can't evade THEM!"

The Tax Dodgems began to ram into Felix, small but bulky enough to knock even Fenrir about left and right. They were a nuisance at worst, but a nuisance that was doing its job in slowing him down. They became a bit more than that once they reached the flamethrowers and Felix was almost immediately rammed into the path of one of them, the Tax Dodgems barricading his way to keep him from moving back out. He couldn't avoid the flames, but the wolf snatched up one of his tormentors by the neck and used it to block them instead. It let out a synthesized scream as it got cooked and Felix threw its burnt body at the next flamethrower in line to knock it out entirely before he broke out of the hold.

He caught up to Jimmy in the middle of the spike jumps, the ramps still in position to make it easier on them both. Even the Tax Dodgems continued their pursuit close behind. Despite the seriousness of the situation, Felix found the arctic fox still smiling and letting out little yips of excitement with each jump. "Do you not understand what's at stake here?" he asked, bemused.

"Of course I do. I made the stakes!" Jimmy replied, the two of them now starting to jump in unison. "I'm stressed and anxious as all heck, but this is also really fun and I'm enjoying myself. Just because the fun side is more visible with me, that doesn't mean I'm not feeling all that other stuff too."

Jimmy was just describing his mindset on any given day, but Felix looked at him like he had just shared the profound wisdom of House Frost. "Fascinating. So I'm allowed to feel joy even now?" One of the Tax Dodgems slipped in between them, jumping along.

"Odd way to put it, but...sure?"

"Then it's joy that I feel!" Felix kicked the interloper into one of the spike beds and once again attempted a happy smile.

Reynard screamed. "Kill it with fire! Wait, I tried that already. Kill it with axes!"

They both landed at the same time and circled the perimeter of the axe wheel, neither wanting to get too close this time. The Tax Dodgems took the inner route, all too short for the blades to even cut their antennas. From this position, they made repeated attempts to ram into Felix again, but he anticipated their movements and rammed them back every time they tried. Eventually, they wised up and attempted a charge with three of them at once, but Jimmy swerved in to bat them away as well with Dinosaur Killer. "What? Why are you helping me?" Felix asked.

"That is a fantastic question, Snowflake!" Reynard added, much less politely.

"This is supposed to be an honor duel, right? I was kinda sensing a lack of it there."

Felix chuckled. "You truly are something special. Unfortunately, it's my family's honor that's on the line here. I can't afford to be sentimental!" As one of the Tax Dodgems charged again, Felix sped ahead of it a bit, then allowed it to ram into his backside, giving him a small boost that allowed him to pass Jimmy as they entered the wavy road. The fox quickly moved to chase after him.

"You're doing all of this for your family?" Reynard taunted. "Ha, now that's a laugh!"

Felix gritted his teeth, but kept his eyes on the road ahead, starting to maneuver back and forth.

"Perhaps you can remind me, just where is your family right now?"

Behind him, Jimmy gasped, realizing where he was going with this. Reynard had failed to stop Felix physically, so now he was trying psychologically. That wasn't a tactic most mammalian minds were equipped to endure, let alone the emotionally-stunted wolf.

"Because last I checked, they were all still outside, fighting for their lives against my feral forces. You know who could've really helped them deal with that? Their badass biker big brother! Shame you're stuck in here, pursuing a revenge they didn't even agree with in the first place!"

"This is Mother's will!" he insisted, shaking a little. "They'll understand. Once it's finished, they'll understand!"

"Aside from the ones who are dead, of course. Speaking of which, maybe you'd like to hear about Junior?"

"Junior?!" His head snapped up in a sudden surge of panic. "What happened to him?!"

"Didn't I tell you? He's dead! Or maybe he's not dead. Not like you would know, right? After all, my word is far from trustworthy, but would I really miss out on the chance to rub his untimely demise in your face? Who can say? Maybe we should just call him Schrodinger's Wolf!"

Felix looked down at the passing road, though was barely focused on it anymore. "What have I done?" he asked himself softly. "I abandoned the pack in their time of need. Their blood is on my paws." He started to shake much harder now, almost trembling, and his breathing grew labored.

Jimmy rode up to his side, the remaining Tax Dodgems trailing behind. Just as he thought, the wolf wasn't emotionally prepared to handle something like this, nor was Jimmy prepared to be his therapist. "Are...you having a panic attack?''

The question seemed to snap him out of it, for now the wolf's fear and sadness began to melt away. But this was only followed by a resurgence of the one emotion he felt more than any other. His face twisted into a snarl. "GET OUT OF MY WAY!"

As they reached the next open area, Felix viciously slammed into Dinosaur Killer's side and sent Jimmy off-course. He might've recovered from that swiftly if this didn't happen to be the banana zone. Jimmy ran right over several peels, just like Felix had, but the wolf's bike had been bulky enough to weather the slippery storm and remain upright. Conversely, the lightweight Dinosaur Killer threw Jimmy from its seat and flipped over several times before coming to a stop. The skull on its front remained attached, jaw hanging open in a universal expression of "holy shit."

Jimmy groaned, tossing aside a peel that landed on his nose as he sat back up. He could only watch as Felix sped away in the distance. The remaining four Tax Dodgems chased him, but they too were far behind now.

"Oh geez, it wasn't supposed to go like that!" Reynard yelled. "I'd give you some turtle shells to chuck at him, but do you have any idea how hard it is to import those?"

Not as hard as it was going to be to catch up again. But Jimmy stood his bike back up and hopped on, ready to do just that anyway. Felix wasn't the only one with a darker side.

Engage Serious Mode.

---

Sandcat Sanchez's Musical Madhouse

Basement

10: 28 PM

Carla slid down into the darkness for so long that it was starting to feel like she really was going to Hell. But while she probably would've made a pretty badass demon, she had better things to do at the moment.

The slide finally deposited her into a large basement beneath the mansion, though "basement" was putting it lightly. It looked more like a mad scientist's lab, and a very expansive one at that. Books and beakers surrounded her, along with pieces of machinery that she couldn't identify and didn't want to. Carla herself had landed in a black cart attached to a rail, likely intended to ride it as she would in an ordinary haunted house attraction. So she hopped out of it immediately.

The cart continued forward like normal for a few more feet, then started to rapidly pick up speed and drove between two electrical pylons that fired blinding currents through it. Alright, you've made your point, Sang. Fun and games are over.

A low roar came from behind, Carla turning around to see a metal wall sliding up. Even her nocturnal eyes couldn't see much in the darkness beyond it, but what she did see gave her a bigger jolt than those electrical currents. A pair of giant, glowing yellow eyes, rows of jagged teeth, pointed horns, and all attached to a scary green face.

It wasn't a monster though, just a Humvee spray-painted to look like one. The actual monster was behind the wheel. "It's alive! It's ALIIIIIIIIIIVE!" Lucy yelled, fixating her gaze on Carla with a crooked grin. "She's dead! She's DEEEEEEEAD!"

She couldn't dramatically step on the gas, but whatever controls the bat used to steer this thing, it came roaring after her with reckless abandon. Carla was forced to run around the side of it so as not to end up going through the pylons herself, a problem Lucy solved by running over one of them. In lieu of actually turning around, she then threw the car in reverse and backed up at her. That was unexpected enough that Carla was rammed into one of the lab's walls, having to brace her back against it while pushing at the vehicle to keep from being crushed completely.

But Lucy wasn't giving up, the tires starting to screech as she forced them to keep pushing. "Your kind likes roadkill, right?! Well, my kind likes blood, so hold still and it's a win-win!"

Carla seriously strained herself and might've called upon the ancient spirit of Lucha Libre just a bit to push the car away far enough that she could fling herself out of the opening and let it hit the wall without her. She had to put up with the obnoxious cheering of Lucy thinking she'd killed her until she could get far enough away, but it was all worth it to hear her suddenly let out a loud curse instead.

By that time, Carla had made her way to one of the chemistry tables and sighted a beaker that bubbled with a strange, green liquid. She watched Lucy put her Scumvee back into gear for another charge and shrugged, snatching the beaker up and throwing it in her direction. The chemical hit the floor and burst into towering green flames that stopped even the mad bat in her tracks.

Carla immediately went to grab something else, a glass jar filled with what appeared to be acid. "Thanks for loading this place with things to fight you with! Should've stuck with the booby traps!"

She popped the lid off the jar and held it ready, waiting to toss acid in the way of her car and damage its tires. But the wave of acid came out too early, as a result of Carla being suddenly grabbed from behind and spilling it by reflex. The culprit was a white, cartoonish glove attached to a metal arm. It latched onto Carla's shoulder along with several others grabbing her arms and legs.

"Spoiler alert: still booby traps!" Lucy drove around both the fire and the acid, lining herself up to ram Carla head-on with the hyena unable to dodge. But for some reason, she didn't. Lucy just sat there and watched eagerly as the arms dragged Carla backwards. Finally, she turned her head to see what she was being dragged to.

It was another sort of table, but an operating one, metal shackles for the wrists and ankles popping open to admit a new patient. "You're gonna play doctor on me?!"

"Nurse, we have a bad case of stick-up-the-ass! Prepare a treatment plan!" Several more arms emerged from beneath the table, these ones ending in feathers, brushes, pinwheels, and other such devices. "You know what they say about laughter being the best medicine!"

Out of all the horrors in this haunted house, that was the only thing to make Carla actually scream in terror. Forget the spirit of Lucha Libre; the fear-based boost of adrenaline was so strong that Carla reached back and grabbed onto the arms holding her. She then used their leverage to plant her feet and rip the entire table from its station, tossing it overhead to slam it into the floor with extreme prejudice. "I hate you so goddamn much right now!"

"Like I'm the only one disappointed you escaped that! Also, DIE!" She did the small mammal equivalent of flooring it and now came at her again. Carla, still being held by the hands of evil, used them to swing the defunct machine into Lucy's path. It struck the front of the vehicle and obstructed the driver long enough for Carla to dash out of the way and down a nearby tunnel. This was the route the cart would have taken had it survived that long and now she was hoping to at least beat its record.

She regretted the idea quickly as the tunnel proved pretty damn narrow and she soon heard Lucy revving up again behind her. "Hey, if you hate laughter so much, maybe I really should go Operation on you and yank out that funny bone! Fair warning though, I'm not the best at that game!" As she drove into the tunnel, her car banged against one of the sides. "BZZT!"

How long is this tunnel?! Carla kept running, not daring to slow down or look back. The road ahead was an endless void of black, illuminated only by the headlights shining behind her and drawing ever closer.

She was stopped only when she ran headlong into another fake wall. Carla bounced off and landed on her ass, scrambling back up to face the oncoming threat. Lucy didn't even slow down to gloat. She just gloated while driving. "End of the road! You chased me, I chased you, but now we know who's the cat and who's the mouse! Not that surprising, given your upbringing!"

"I'm a goddamn feliform," she said testily, spitting some blood on the floor. "And the difference is I'm not staking my self-worth on this. So go ahead and run me down if you think that'll help you."

Lucy's eye twitched for a second before she screamed, "I'd be happy to! SQUISHY SQUISHY SQUISH, BITCH!"

Of course, Carla wasn't actually planning on giving up if she could help it, but pulling this off would require staking a little more than self-worth. As the monstrous motor vehicle approached, Carla leapt from her spot.

With the kind of reflexes and timing honed only through years of fighting in the ring, Carla landed atop the hood of the car, sprung from there onto the roof, fumbled her jump, and rolled ungracefully down the sloped backside of the vehicle before hitting the ground. The car itself kept going, careening through the fake wall (that she totally could've busted herself if she had the time) and leaving a gaping hole behind.

Carla landed on her stomach, on top of the metal railing, so it was hard to say which of them had really come out better there. But she had narrowly avoided death yet again and that was the important part, if only because it seemed to really piss Lucy off. She got up, groaned loudly at the building collection of aches and pains, then followed her quarry through the opening.

She wasn't in a lab anymore. The track she'd followed now curved to the right and vanished behind another sealed wall, Lucy's Scumvee sitting abandoned nearby. This was intended as only a brief stop on the tour, but it was one that stood out. Carla had entered a small dining area set in front of a stage, though it was for a show she didn't recognize. The stage itself was pretty rundown, with only the worn image of a silver acorn hanging above it and a sign posted in front of it.

Ishini the Invisibini's Nutty Magic Show!

Cancelled indefinitely due to killjoy

She'd barely finished reading that when Lucy burst out from behind the curtain. "Don't touch that dial! This magic show's pulled its own disappearing act, but we've got something even better in store!" She posed dramatically with her wings raised. "Back from the depths of Hell, it's the voice you never wanted to hear again! Give it up for Sandcat Sanchez!"

Carla was right at the front of the stage in an instant. "¡No mames!"

Lucy flew up as the curtains unfurled, revealing what was indeed Sandcat Sanchez, or at least a pretty good likeness of him. Someone had been just as lacking in taste to build a complete animatronic of the guy, flanked by two more animatronics of El Orgullo and Gomez. The three even had their standard instruments, violin, trumpet, and maracas respectively, and Carla could only watch in bewilderment as they actually started to play them.

It was kind of a mess, naturally, but that didn't mean the effort wasn't still impressive. A few seconds into this cacophony, the false Sanchez spoke in a heavily-distorted voice. "I must sing for you a song of die."

At which point all three animatronics let out unearthly screeches and attacked.

Sandcat Sandroid pounced at her from the stage, brandishing his sharp, knife-like claws that could slice through steel, in order to hold his violin and swing it at her head. Carla blocked it with her arm, then grabbed and threw him across the room. She then quickly had to roll out of the way of Gobot as the metal bull charged her on all fours before leaping off the stage himself. Before Carla could react, El Orgamaton landed behind her with a loud thud, wrapping his piston-powered arms around her.

"Hahaha, yes!" Lucy cheered. "Squeeze her like a blood orange! I'll catch every drop!"

Carla struggled to breathe as he seemed determined to follow that directive to the letter. Gobot turned to face her again, the horns on his head whirring like drills, before he charged again. Their weaponry was impressive, but their AI was lacking, especially in the teamwork department. Carla simply lifted her legs and he had no problem charging right into El Orgamaton instead, impaling the larger animatronic on his horns. "Come at me, robro!"

Lucy's manic smile very slowly faded, her eye twitching even harder.

Seemingly oblivious to all of this, Gobot just kept running, El Orgamaton dragged along for the ride as he released his grip on Carla. She landed on the bull's backside and turned around to face the still-active metal lion. As Gobot circled the room, Carla steadied her balance on him and dodged around the punches of El Orgamaton. She finally locked one of his fists under her arm and planted a foot on his chest for the leverage to yank it right off. That almost made her fall from the back of Gobot, but she deflected El Orgamaton's remaining arm with the one she'd stolen, then used that same arm to take off his head next. As the lion animatronic shut down, Carla grabbed his prone body and used it as a means of steering Gobot, turning him back towards the center of the room.

Where Sandcat Sandroid had only just managed to stand up again. The steel hooves of Gobot came down mercilessly upon him, Carla yanking back to make the bionic bovine stomp him again and again. Sparks flew up from beneath them and Carla was splashed with oil, but she didn't stop until her target was scrap metal. It was quite possibly the single most satisfying thing she'd ever done.

Carla leapt back off of Gobot who, overloaded with the weight of his companion and an abundance of oil, seized up on the spot and just sort of fell over. She dusted off her paws. "Huh. They weren't so scary after all."

"WHY?! WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE?!"

Hearing an almost feral scream of rage approaching from behind, Carla looked down at the violin by her feet, kicked it up into her paw, then turned around and swung it into Lucy's face. The impact sent the bat flying back onto the stage, through the open curtain, and she hit the ground hard.

But she'd also dropped the key she was holding. Carla bent down to pick it up. "Last chance, Sang. I'm still willing to walk away and leave you here in your little make-believe world if you give up now. What do you say?"

Lucy hoisted herself up on her wings and wiped at her bleeding lip. "Bite me." She let out another bestial hiss and scampered off further into the back.

Carla looked back down at the key. Instead of Sanchez's face, it bore the image of Lucy sticking a tongue out at her. She sighed, tossing it over her shoulder and not even flinching as it exploded.

"Hard way it is then."

---

Piers Narwhalter's Flumes of Doom

10: 36 PM

"Soon may the Sellermam come!"

"To bring you sugar and tea and rum!"

"One day, when the deal is done!"

"We'll take our leave and go!"

Reynard's aggressive selling tactics didn't scare Bogo and neither did Drummond Rane. The buffalo rolled out of the way of another kick and towards another of the treasure rafts as it floated nearby. Grabbing the key from the pirate Wallabeanie onboard, he wasted no time shoving it into the lock of the chest and popping it open. He glanced inside, sighing in disappointment, then sighing at himself for being disappointed over this.

Nevertheless, as Drummond leapt for him again, Bogo pulled out his hooves, now covered by oversized boxing gloves, and socked him in the chin. Feeling that he might as well capitalize on this, Bogo followed up with a hook to the gut that launched the wallaby into the air, then a haymaker that knocked him clear across the floating platform again.

Drummond's path this time was halted when his back hit another one of the chests. "Alrighty mate, this the game ya wanna play? Well, I can play too! This is me own company's inventory after all!" He stuffed a key into the lock and proceeded to arm himself with a portable flamethrower.

"I thought you were a toy company."

"What of it? I ain't raising a generation of pussies here!" Drummond pointed the flamethrower at him and fired, spewing flames in a clean arc. Bogo ran to the side to avoid them, at the cost of some of the other chests and their Wallabeanie companions going up in smoke. "Forgive me, my stuffed brethren, but I can't let your powers or your trademark be misused!"

If he kept going, he'd end up lighting their very arena on fire. So while Drummond gave his eulogy, Bogo found a chest that was safe and pulled out a fire axe. Not exactly a counter, but technically applicable. He didn't bother trying to rush him with it, just turned and threw the axe so that it's blade cut through the flamethrower's hose and then landed in the water. David snatched the weapon and chewed it up without difficulty.

Drummond tossed the rest of the flamethrower away as well, then circumvented his own laws by simply breaking open the next chest with a chop. From the wreckage came a worn-down ship steering wheel with various pieces broken off. Bogo wasn't sure how much use the guy would get out of that until he realized that it was bigger than he was and growing larger still as Drummond charged him with it.

The impact knocked Bogo onto another raft, which Drummond promptly stomped on hard enough to splinter it. As the logs exploded, Bogo fell into the water with a rippling splash. The chief opened his eyes, seeing the treasure chest sink slowly beside him, followed by the glowing eyes of David approaching much more quickly. Bogo snapped to his senses and grabbed the chest, swinging the whole thing into the robo shark's face and making him back off for a bit. He wasn't sure exactly how long "a bit" was in this case, but he was willing to wager "shorter than it would take to get back to the surface".

So instead, he made a different wager, on the contents of this chest being enough to save his hide. As quickly as he could, Bogo pried the key from the drowned Wallabeanie's grip, shoved it into the lock, and opened the chest. David recovered soon after and swam for him, jaws wide. Bogo looked on in disbelief as the chest failed to produce a gun, a club, a bomb, or even shark repellent. All that emerged was a very large, and now very soggy, sandwich.

But like magic, David instantly changed course, swerving over top of Bogo as he grabbed the sandwich instead. Choosing to ignore how exactly David could enjoy what must have been a damn good sandwich, Bogo just swam for the surface and let him be.

When he got back up, Drummond was waiting for him. Not in any kind of malicious fashion as the wallaby was simply standing upright and tapping his foot. "Ah, good! Glad ya could make it back up, mate!" It seemed an insincere gesture, as Drummond immediately took hold of the ship wheel he'd used before and hurled it at Bogo like a frisbee, but the chief was starting to see that as the equivalent of a firm hoofshake coming from him.

He dodged it anyway, only for Drummond to reveal a second weapon hidden behind the first. "Got a present for ya!" Before he could react, Bogo was struck in the chest by a glass jar, splashing its contents all over him.

At first, he thought it might be acid, but he was not that fortunate. Bogo sniffed, and with dawning horror, realized what this mysterious substance was. He just stood there for a moment, having a crisis of faith over whether or not he should jump back into the water to wash it off. It was risky, but suddenly Bogo found himself losing the will to live.

Embrace the madness. Embrace the madness. Embrace the madness.

He was snapped out of his stupor by Drummond's obnoxious laughter. "What's wrong, mate? Ya getting pissed or just pissed off? Maybe we should go to a pissing piss up after this!"

"You know what?" Bogo came to the realization that there existed no good comeback to this and simply went for another chest.

"Good on ya! Let's make a sport of this round then! A little roshambo!" Drummond too opened another chest.

"Fine by me!" Bogo opened his and reached inside, pulling out a mighty club.

Or so he wished. It was actually just a large fish wrapped in a newspaper. As if he needed to smell any worse right now.

Drummond countered this impressive weaponry with a dark brown rocket launcher. "Boom beats bass."

The madness has failed me.

Bogo dove to the side as Drummond fired, the rocket zooming past him and towards the water. David popped out for a moment, saw what was coming, and suffered an involuntary oil release before retreating back under.

The rocket zoomed underwater and exploded, creating a huge wave that affected everything around them. The remaining treasure chests and their Wallabeanie guardians were violently thrown overboard while the main platform was pushed through the water like a giant surfboard. It created enough of a tilt that Bogo lost his balance and rolled into Drummond, who dropped his weapon on impact. They both scrambled back up, watching as the platform continued its journey toward a large waterfall ahead.

"Looks like we're gonna crash, mate!" Drummond said, sounding utterly thrilled by the prospect.

"I wouldn't count on that," Bogo replied. "Don't forget what kind of place this is. One that plays every cliché by the book."

"I resent that!" Reynard yelled, shortly before their platform hit the waterfall and tossed both of them through a hidden opening behind it.

---

Mr. Big's Frozen Funland

The Hassled Castle

10: 41 PM

As expected, even a swift kick to the jaw and a compelling one-liner weren't enough to keep Koslov down, but she was hoping it'd at least give her a little time. One second, he was just laying there in the snowball pit, and the next, he was charging through it after her. "Charging" didn't even feel like the right word to describe what he was doing. It looked more like a set of invisible strings had wrapped around the bear and were now dragging him towards her, his movements stilted and unnatural.

Not that she needed any more cue to get out of there ASAP. Before he reached the edge of the pit, Judy pocketed Big's key and raced ahead, throwing herself onto a nearby rock-climbing wall and foregoing proper safety procedures to move up it as quickly as possible. Koslov was too slow to grab the bunny before she got too high up, and his attempts to climb after her only resulted in a few of the artificial rocks being yanked out or broken. "This conflict goes higher than you could ever hope to climb, Hopps! I'll save you the futility of trying!" Said the bear who, unable to climb up at all, simply wrapped his arms around either side of the rock-climbing wall and shook it violently.

Judy let out a panicked squeak as she started to lose her grip, the meager paw and footholds not keeping her safe for much longer. She saw Koslov down below, just waiting for her to drop, and decided to give him what he wanted. Yanking one of the loose "rocks" from the wall, she threw it down at his head, still hard enough to make the bear flinch despite being a fake. Judy dropped deliberately right after, giving Koslov only a quick flash of her coming down before her feet struck his face.

She springboarded off, the momentum making Koslov fall as well. But with him still holding onto the wall, it came down too, Judy having to push herself to outrun it before realizing that she could just go left or right and ultimately escaping that way.

The wall landed atop the bear with a loud thud, but she knew even that wouldn't stop him for long. She needed a way out quickly. Judy glanced back at Koslov, already trying to shove the wall off of him, and recognized that his penchant for destruction might just be useful here.

Koslov let out a grunt, continuing to push against the wall but even his strength struggling to manage it. Then he heard it. A repetitive, synthesized melody coming from a few feet away.

He turned his head, seeing that Judy had found a floor piano next to one of the normal ice walls. It had been designed for smaller mammals, but was still large enough that she had to hop from key to key to play the notes. Fortunately, hopping was her specialty.

Piano skills were not. "You're just playing Hot Cross Buns!"

Judy stopped and looked up, silently meeting his gaze. Then, keeping eye contact all the while, she played those iconic three notes yet again.

Koslov threw the wall aside and charged, this time for real. Judy waited for him to get close, then leapt straight up as the bear passed under her on all fours. He ran over the piano, which created a sound like the synthesized equivalent of slamming the keys, then crashed into the wall behind it.

By the time Judy landed, a sizable hole had been punched into the side of the castle. It would more than suffice for an exit, provided she could get to it. She'd hoped Koslov would at least be stunned by the impact, but the bear turned right back around to face her, unphased apart from a new head wound.

He opened his mouth to roar, pausing as the resulting sound was much louder than he was going for. It soon became clear that it hadn't come from him at all, but rather the castle itself, which didn't shake off Koslov's last blow to it quite so easily. In fact, cracks were already spreading from the point of impact, moving along the walls and causing more shaking and rumbling as they did.

Another skill Judy didn't possess? Architecture. The ability to think things through could also qualify.

"This rabbit…" Reynard muttered. "Dare I say it, she's CRAZIER than a fox."

The castle began to collapse, large chunks of ice and playground equipment falling all around her. Judy had no choice but to bolt for the exit, dodging around the falling scenery but still having to deal with Koslov in her path. Despite the danger, he didn't seem the least bit interested in leaving himself, at least not until he was sure Judy wouldn't follow. She still had no idea what she'd done to earn this kind of stubborness to see her dead, but she seriously didn't have time for it anymore.

Another chunk of ice fell from the ceiling between her and Koslov. With a well-timed flying kick, she sent it firmly in the bear's direction. Not about to be so easily struck this time, Koslov extended a fist and punched the chunk, shattering it into several smaller pieces of ice. His other arm was already prepared to counter the expected follow-up from Judy, but the rabbit was nowhere in sight.

He looked down, catching a glimpse of a small, fluffy tail before it scurried through his legs. When he turned around, Judy was already outside the castle again, frantically waving for him to join her. Koslov took a step forward, happy to oblige, when the castle gave off one last, ominous shudder. He looked up, growing even paler than his fur allowed. "Nyet…"

That was the last Judy saw of him before the structure collapsed completely, burying Koslov under an untold amount of ice and metal. It made enough of an impact that Judy herself was buried by a spray of snow, and loud enough that she was thankful it covered her ears too. When she shook it off and emerged from the guise of a snowbun, the No-Hassle Castle was no castle at all.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out Big's key, relieved that it had also made it out safely. Koslov though…

Judy sighed, looking back at the rubble. It was a victory, but not one she was particularly proud of. Whatever Koslov's motives were, she hoped it was worth the price he had to pay trying to fulfill them.

Koslov's fist bursting through the ice seemed to think so, despite being heavily-bloodied. It clawed into the snow outside, followed by the other one. And to Judy's horror, he began to pull himself out the rest of the way. That wasn't why she was horrified though.

The polar bear's injured leg had barely slowed him down, but now his injuries spread significantly farther. By the way he was crawling, both his legs appeared to be outright broken now, while his arms were cut up from the effort it must have taken to shovel his way out. Judy spotted several shards of ice and a few metal rods that hadn't yet fallen off his back, and she soon realized this was because they were embedded in his back, blood leaking down his sides. He looked at her through weary eyes, unable to hide the immense pain he must have been in.

Even if their communications weren't being jammed, Judy wasn't exactly in a position to call for help. "Hey, Reynard-?"

"Haha, no. You broke my heart, Iceberg. I don't offer 'traitor warranty'."

Might as well leave it to the only cop in the room. She approached the battered bear. "Hey, just take it easy and try not to move around much. I'll get you some help as soon as I-"

Koslov took a swipe at her, making Judy jump back a bit. "Eliminate...highest priority...target…"

"Are you serious?!" Judy had to dodge again as Koslov lumbered forward a bit and made another attempt. "Koslov, stop! You can't keep pushing yourself like this! Stay down!"

"I...I cannot stop," Koslov strained, continuing to crawl after her with clear difficulty. "Not until...my mission...is complete...and my orders...fulfilled." He swiped at her again, missed, and toppled over when his other arm gave out on him with a sickening crack. "I...cannot...stop...myself." He looked up at her, his expression almost frightened, before coming for her yet again. "Even...if it...kills me…"

Judy might not have known what was wrong with the bear, but it was clear by now that words weren't going to stop him. She was going to have to knock him out, for his own safety.

Koslov saw her gearing up to do just that and smiled, even as the rest of his body language remained hostile. "I appreciate the effort...but with or without me...the venom will spread."

His smile faded, along with everything else, when he was struck in the back of the head by two simultaneous raccoon dropkicks.

Judy stumbled, forced to interrupt the move she'd been about to make, and glared at the newcomers. "You again!"

Not even acknowledging her presence, Simon and Karen VanDal looked over the unconscious Koslov with interest.

"What is this, a Deus es Maskina? I don't even-" Reynard's voice cut out with an abrupt burst of static.

Karen was holding up a grey, rectangular device with a blinking light. "There. They can't see or hear us anymore. No one can."

Judy could still do both of those things, not that the VanDals seemed inclined on returning the favor. Simon bent down to press two fingerpads to Koslov's neck. "He's still alive."

"He damn well better be after all the trouble we went through to sneak in here." Karen kicked at him lightly. "Good job getting us past all those cameras."

"I've had plenty of experience dodging surveillance," Simon remarked, smiling knowingly. "Looks like our mutual friends waited too long to pull the plug. Now we've finally got one of them."

"One of who?" Judy asked.

"They're getting sloppy," Karen agreed. "Or perhaps just overconfident. Not that I can blame them at this stage."

"What stage?"

"Still, this is a win for us, no matter how small," Simon insisted. "Let's get him back to base."

"Whose base?!"

She could almost forgive them for ignoring her that time, for the beating of helicopter blades became much more noticeable. The aircraft flew in above the park, remaining stationary several feet above their heads as it lowered a net down to them. Simon looked at the much larger mammal they were expected to roll onto it. "This should be fun."

"HEY!"

They both finally turned to look at the fuming Judy. "I don't know what you two are going on about, but I do know that you're both criminals. You think I'm just going to let you get away with everything and disappear again?"

Karen raised a paw. "Excuse me, Miss Black and White? Mr. and Mrs. Grey have some opinions to share."

That gave her a bit of pause. "Yeah?"

"First of all, thanks for the help."

She didn't even know how to respond to that one. "...You're welcome?"

Karen just nodded. "But you know that big speech you gave about how real life is messy? Well, the mess we're trying to clean up is one you don't want to get involved in. But rest assured that, for all our unconventional ways of going about things, we're trying to make the world a better place too."

"Forgive me if I have some trouble buying that." Judy turned around, showing off the bloody gashes on her back. "And I'm feeling pretty involved already."

"She has a point," Simon admitted, wryly amused. "If nothing else, this proves she can be trusted."

"Perhaps. I might have been too quick to judge." Karen looked her up and down, not in that condescending way she had before, but with genuine curiosity. "Shame we don't have time to deal with that right now. We need to go." Two other mammals slid down on ropes, one taller than the other and both concealed in body armor. Together with Simon, they started to push Koslov onto the net and get him secured.

Karen kept her eyes on Judy. "You already have what you came for, yes? If you still wish to stop us, then feel free to try. Otherwise, we're leaving." She didn't even make an effort to look combat-ready, just stood between Judy and the rest of the group with her arms crossed, silently daring her to attack.

Judy almost took the bait too. But then she looked at Koslov, the broken bear who had pushed himself too far, then to the VanDals and their compatriots, a fight she had no chance of winning, then to Big's key, still resting in her paw. She'd always prided herself on her determination and resolve, but she was finding it pretty hard to justify either at the moment.

She closed her paw around the key. "Maybe...I do know when to quit." Then she turned and ran off, leaving the others behind.

Watching her go, Jack Savage lifted the visor of his helmet. "She seems nice."

"Sure, but are we planning to recruit her?" asked the other armored mammal, Skye.

"That's what I want to know," Karen said, looking to Simon.

He shrugged. "Our mutual friends consider her a threat. That's good enough for me."

"I think you've just gotten soft, personally," Karen replied. She looked to where the bunny had fled, only her footprints in the snow left behind. "Still...we'll be in touch."

---

Damien Thornbrush's Outback Safari

10: 45 PM

"New game!" Finnick yelled.

Nick let out an exasperated sigh. "Finn, I've already beaten you at Blackjack, Poker, Rummy, and Go Fish. All in, what, twenty minutes? I appreciate your dedication, but this is clearly leaning in one direction more than the other."

He crossed his arms and turned away. "Maybe I just need a moment alone."

"What, so you can lose at Solitaire?"

Finnick whirled back around, one small finger pointed at him and his mouth hanging open in a silent curse. After a few seconds of this, he let out a huff. "Damn your family's cardshark skills. Gonna make me miss playing against Koslov."

"Hey, it could be worse," Nick assured. "We could've had an actual fistfight or something. You did say that was the only kind of conflict resolution you were good at."

"Yeah, well, look where that's gotten me so far," Finnick said, cleaning up the cards. "Sure, it brought us together back in the day, but it also got me a dart to the back just recently. Take a peek out that window again. Tell me what you see."

Nick turned his head. The mammals out there were as nude and natural as ever, but they'd long lost interest in their visitors by now, ignoring the tram completely and just going about their instinct-driven lives. "A bunch of savage idiots getting the National Geographic experience?"

Finnick shoved the deck back into his pocket. "See, that's what comes to you because you didn't actually work with these guys. But for me, I knew that some of them were pretty close. Acquaintances, partners, even friends. Now they're out there, establishing territory and tearing into each other over the smallest scraps. I just found it pathetic, until I realized the two of us weren't doing much better."

"That's unusually introspective of you."

He shrugged. "Being employed under Reynard really has a way of making a guy reconsider his life choices. Just because we needed to clear the air, that doesn't mean it needed to happen my way. You went and joined the fuzz to show how serious you were about changing. Least I could do is drop a grudge without having to throw a few punches first."

It suddenly got dark outside, the safari ride completing its run as the tram returned to its original spot inside the cave, the stone walls closing once more. If the intercom was still working, there probably would have been a message to "have a nice day" or something. Its passengers didn't need to be told that anyway. All things considered, they'd already managed that on their own.

Nick pointed to the lever that controlled the tram. "Wanna go around again?"

"Nah, we've already done that enough. Here, you've earned this." Finnick pulled Thornbrush's key from around his neck and threw it over to Nick. "Now go ruin your dad's night."

"Will do," Nick said, tossing it idly up and down in his paw. "You wanna come with? I don't know what he's got lined up for me next, but it can't be much worse than this."

"I wouldn't bet on that if I were you. Guy's a proud gambler." He looked around distastefully. "Still, it's better than hanging out in here. This scenery's just making me depressed."

"Then you better keep up!" Nick yelled, already outside the tram and heading back through the tunnel.

"Wait, goddammit!" Finnick quickly rushed out to go after him, went back for his steel bat, then panted as he came up to Nick's side. "Long-legged piece of crap. Guess I should be glad we didn't decide this with a race."

"That sure would've been something," Nick admitted, now swinging the key around on one finger. "By the way, you know you could've just dragged out one game for that entire ride, right? You didn't have to throw all of them."

Finnick stopped a moment, ears and eyelids shooting up, then smirked as he again ran to catch up. "I ain't changing that much, Nick. What else would I be if not needlessly difficult?"

He chuckled. "I wouldn't have it any other way, pal."

---

Lady Lang's Bumper Bike Circuit

LAP 3

"Okay, Snowflake, I know this is bad, but I've got your back on this, okay?"

Jimmy ignored Reynard's nervous rambling and revved up Dinosaur Killer, his gaze steely and staring straight forward.

"And you can actually trust me for once, because I'm doing this for my son. And not in that ironic, sinister way that you've all come to expect from me, but in a completely, unambiguously helpful sort of way. Sound good?"

Jimmy sped off, far behind Felix but at least crossing the checkered line into the final lap.

"Heh heh, right...well, that's okay! You may not trust me, but I trust you! Someone needs to be out there to save my family, and based on past experience, you're the best one on the track! So allow me to give you the boost you sorely need!"

The flamethrowers Jimmy was expecting in his path both turned off completely. Instead, a few segments of the road flipped over, revealing glowing panels with rainbow-colored arrows that practically screamed for him to drive on them. Out of curiosity, he tried one.

The resulting increase of speed nearly knocked him from the bike again, but Jimmy wrested control and made a left at the turn ahead, realizing he'd just cleared that entire leg of the track in one fell swoop.

He now caught sight of Felix, making the spike jumps while still pursued by the remaining Tax Dodgems, though desperation wasn't making their efforts any more effective. Naturally, he was getting no such assistance from the boosters, another of which opened for Jimmy directly in front of the first jump. It was strong enough to carry him clear over the second, and still had enough juice to give him a pretty good ride up the third. It wasn't enough to catch up to Felix, but he sped right through the middle of two of the Tax Dodgems trailing behind him, knocking them to opposite sides violently enough to wreck them completely.

Even so, Felix didn't notice his approach up until the spinning axe wheel he was expecting to face suddenly shut down and folded up, removing itself as an obstacle completely. That was weird enough to break through the red haze surrounding the wolf, at least to help him notice the other bike coming up on his side. "Missed me?" Jimmy asked, his tone still neutral as they made the curve together.

The wolf seethed in disbelief. "How did you catch up so fast?!"

Jimmy just pointed ahead, where another booster opened up for them. Now that they were neck-and-neck again, Reynard had no choice but to accommodate them both. Jimmy appreciated that. Despite how strong his desire was to win this, he still wanted to do it fairly.

Not entirely sure what to expect, Felix went over the booster with him, gasping as they both shot forward like biker bullets. The last two Tax Dodgems simply turned around and gave up at that point.

The boost could have been better timed, however, as next up was the wavy series of turns. Recovering first from the shock of the speed burst, Jimmy saw that they were turning left and used that opportunity to ram into Felix's right side. The turn combined with his momentum sent even the bulk of Fenrir veering to the edge of the track, before Felix recovered and countered by ramming Dinosaur Killer back. "What happened to being fun on the outside?!"

"Now it's on the inside," Jimmy replied simply, wobbling a bit but still staying upright into the next, right turn. "Still there, just not at the forefront. That's how it works. Emotions aren't just a switch from one to the next. More of a big bag of feelieness, each of them feeding off each other. Like you."

"What about me?!" Felix pursued him in an attempt to ram him again, but Jimmy dodged the attempt, coughing from some exhaust to the face but otherwise fine.

He looked to the enraged wolf as he glared back. "You're pretty angry for sure, but that anger's coming from what Reynard said about your pack, right? Meaning that it was born from fear, and maybe a touch of sadness. Probably some disgust too."

"Don't patronize me!" As they veered left again and regained the ability to control their speed, Felix cut his to deliberately fall back to Jimmy's side. In lieu of trying to ram him again, now he simply swung an arm at the fox's head.

Jimmy ducked. "I'm not! Look, I get it, okay? That's exactly how I was when I faced your brother! He ran over Wallace, who Nick gave to me as a gift of friendship, and I snapped!"

"Yes, and then you won!" Felix swung again, this time aiming lower. "I'll gladly do the same if I have to!"

Jimmy had to move away to avoid his claws, but he wasn't expecting the follow-up kick that successfully sent his bike off the track. Felix drove on ahead, into what was once the wide, open road of banana peels. All the peels were gone now, leaving the area completely empty.

But the outer rim was completely surrounded by the booster panels, all pointing inward aside from the entrance and exit. Jimmy drove over one and charged after Felix, again nailing him in the side. "Anger isn't how I won! I won because I was able to channel it into the focus I needed!"

"I'm plenty focused!" Felix insisted, turning himself around as Fenrir skidded back. "I'm focused on my duty to avenge Lady Lang!" His bike ran over one of the boosters in reverse, quickly propelling it forward again and back towards Jimmy.

"SO AM I!" Jimmy once again turned swiftly to the side to dodge, then quickly swung the back end of his bike around to tag one of Fenrir's mounted exhaust pipes as it sped past. "I have my own duty to take responsibility for what happened to her! All that anger and guilt has been building up in me too! But at least I can admit that I'm only doing that to myself!"

"What the hell are you implying?!" Felix demanded. One of his exhaust ports sputtered from a newfound dent in it, but Fenrir pressed on, deliberately turning around onto another booster. Dinosaur Killer wasn't fast enough to dodge it again so quickly and took the incoming blow head-on, knocking Jimmy off and making both him and the bike fall to the road.

It wasn't enough to stop the weary fox from getting back on again. "Agh...just that I'm not so sure Lady Lang would've wanted all this. Nick seemed to indicate she wanted him alive."

"What do you know?!" Felix was slowed from the impact, but evidently had no qualms about running the fox down, with or without his bike.

Jimmy chose "with", hopping on and already backing up onto a booster. "Only that I can clearly handle these feelings way better than you!" And Dinosaur Killer took off again.

Felix, who'd only just started building up speed again, reacted to the charge by once again reeling back and jumping his entire bike over Jimmy's own. As he landed, he immediately turned himself around again to face the fox, who was similarly lining himself up on the opposite end of their arena.

As he prepared for another charge, Felix caught himself shaking, gripping one of his arms tightly in an attempt to quell it but the rest of his body still trembling with rage. He wasn't even sure how long he'd been doing it, with Fenrir's natural vibrations making it hard to notice while in motion. And this wasn't the only thing that was becoming more obvious after taking a moment to pause. "Perhaps you're right. I'm not ready to handle this yet. I never should have let this side of me loose again."

"Hey, don't think of it like that," Jimmy assured, smiling at him from across the way. "I just showed you how well you can manage it with a little practice, didn't I? Why don't we just put a stop to all this and talk things out? I'm sure I can help you-"

"Don't push your luck!" he snapped, in what was likely supposed to be another helping of anger but sounded a bit more like fear. "This is an honor duel! I won't take a chance like that!"

Both bikes hit their boosters and charged, the result akin to a jousting match. Dinosaur Killer and Fenrir met in the middle, glancing each others' sides and then bouncing off with a loud screech and an array of sparks. Jimmy and Felix parted again, both bikes coming to a halt and both having taken a heavy blow.

The first thing Jimmy heard after that was a very discouraging hissing noise, and he looked down to see that his front tire had been slashed by Felix's claws. The whole bike sagged a bit now, as if the machine itself was giving up.

On Felix's end, the exhaust pipe Jimmy had damaged before was now caved in completely, leaving a large dent in the external engine as well that started pouring out smoke. In it, Felix saw a lupine face that was unlike his own, staring at him and smiling maliciously. "Show me your savagery!"

Felix hastily waved away the smoke, now able to see the finish line clearly visible in the distance. "I have to end this. Never again." Even with Fenrir sputtering ominously and letting off a continuous stream of smoke, Felix pushed it to keep driving, out of the open arena and back onto the straight road towards the finish line.

"Snowflake...not to alarm you or anything...but he's about to win!" Reynard shouted. "I only have one more booster on that last straightaway, so you'll have to make it-"

"Count, I don't need your help." Jimmy hit the ignition and followed Felix out as well, despite his own difficulties doing so. He'd been relieved to see all the banana peels gone, but now it was like he was driving over them constantly, Dinosaur Killer swerving uncontrollably back and forth even though it was just going straight now.

However, the damage he'd done to Fenrir was seriously hampering the larger bike's performance too. In peak condition, it would have already crossed the finish line, but now the threat of the entire engine going up in flames was keeping Felix from cranking it up to max speed. Jimmy kept his speed, only losing his handling, and was slowly but surely catching up again.

Felix looked back again, snarling at his adversary, and had to outright slap himself to keep his eyes on the road. "Just a little further. I'm in control. I'm in control. Anger will not consume me. Sadness will not hamper me. Fear will not sway my course. I can do this."

That mantra nearly went right out the window as soon as Jimmy's bike tagged the back of his. "It's too late!" Felix roared, Fenrir taking the final left turn that led to the finish line with Dinosaur Killer still lagging behind, just off to his right side. "I will pursue my vengeance until the end! Forgive me..." he added softly.

"All's forgiven," Jimmy replied, squeezing the brakes. His speed made the bike come to an abrupt halt while flinging Jimmy off of it.

And his angle made him fly directly into Felix's side with enough momentum to knock the large wolf clear off his bike. He fell onto the grass and rolled over while Jimmy landed in Fenrir's seat, unable to reach the pedals but simply letting it coast the rest of the way across the finish line, carrying him to victory.

"YES! There's your silver bullet, Momma's Boy!" Reynard cheered ungracefully. "Or a white one at least. Good job specifying that the first rider to cross was the winner, not the first bike! I'm curious, did you piece that together on your own, Snowflake, or did you take some inspiration from yours truly?"

"Didn't I make it clear that I don't need your help?" Jimmy asked, stepping down from the oversized bike.

"Debatable, but I certainly needed yours, and once again, I got it! You may now claim your reward!"

After all that effort towards freeing Nick's family from a lupine vendetta, Jimmy had almost forgotten the other reason he was doing this. He left Fenrir, the toppled Dinosaur Killer, and the toppled Felix for now, and headed towards the lawn chair where he'd left Wallace.

The chair was also toppled, along with the two Wallabeanies who had been sitting on it. Apart from that, the scene was a bit grisly. Lang's key was now clutched in Wallace's plush paws, the white Wallabeanie hunched over. Across from him was RJ. His string had been pulled but was struggling to return to its owner, who was sputtering nothing but incoherent static due to his own pen being stabbed into his chest. He seemed to be trying to pull it back out, but it got stuck, and he was instead just stabbing himself again and again.

"RJ, NOOOOOOOO!" Reynard screamed, sounding utterly heartbroken for a whole two seconds. "Well, at least I got him for free."

"How did this happen?" Jimmy wondered aloud. "Oh, I get it! The wind currents from our epic race must have blown the chair over, and this is just how you guys ended up."

"Don't you believe it," Wallace replied. "This was a murder."

"The cameras didn't catch a thing," Reynard confirmed. "Not like I'd clarify this even if they did. By the way, I'm borrowing your bike."

Jimmy didn't quite register that last part up until he saw the last two Tax Dodgems zooming past, carrying the damaged Dinosaur Killer atop them. "But I just got that one!"

"I said 'borrow', didn't I? You'll get it back, eventually. But for now, it must serve a greater purpose! So unless you found a blue shell somewhere, see ya!" Before Jimmy could do anything, the Tax Dodgems and their prize zipped under a raised piece of wall under the bleachers, which immediately closed again behind them.

Instead, the fox just grabbed Wallace and the key, wandered glumly over to where Felix was, and laid himself down next to the wolf. He too was just laying there, and Jimmy knew he hadn't hurt him enough to keep from standing again. At least, not physically. "Are you alright?"

"It's strange," he replied, looking up at the night sky over the walls. "I've just been bested in an honor duel. I should be angrier than ever, or suffering some sort of breakdown, but I feel nothing of the sort. Am I repressing again without even knowing it?"

"Nah. I think you're just happy."

"Happy? Why on Earth would I be...?" His attention was drawn to a light thumping noise, caused by his tail repeatedly hitting the ground.

Jimmy grinned, his wagging too. "The tail doesn't lie."

"It used to be able to," Felix grumbled. "I trained that into it. Helped fool my enemies."

"And yourself, I'm guessing."

"Perhaps." He sat up and looked over at him. "You are oddly insightful for one so young."

"I've been told."

"And yet you communicate with your little plaything there. That's even odder."

"I've been told that too."

"Bold to assume he's not MY plaything."

"Why did you start repressing your emotions anyway?" Jimmy asked.

"It was a personal decision, one Mother disagreed with," Felix admitted, looking back to the ground. "I made it because I believed it was necessary to keep her safe. Emotions can be threatening, especially anger. I swore to myself that I would never lose control of them again. I would never be like him."

"Reynard?"

"No." Felix didn't elaborate. "But I believe you're right. There's something very liberating about being robbed of my grudge. I am content with this outcome, but only on the condition that you and your friends take up the task of punishing Reynard for his sins instead." He pointed at the fox in a semi-threatening manner.

"I can live with that," Jimmy agreed. "Unless he kills us first."

"He does that and he really will die by my claws." With his limited ability to express himself, it was impossible to tell whether or not Felix was joking. "But in all honesty, I'm not sure happiness fully covers what I'm feeling right now. Like you said, it's a big bag of feelieness."

He laid back down, now bearing a genuine smile across his face. "All I know is, it feels good."

---

Sandcat Sanchez's Musical Madhouse

Backstage

10: 44 PM

Carla headed into the back all but expecting a new array of traps to come popping out at her. Like cheap jumpscares in a...well, at least it was thematically appropriate. The lack of anything of the sort, however, did not put her at ease.

The first sign of danger came in the form of Lucy's voice.

"Back off! I know what I'm doing! Stop doubting me!"

Carla stopped and raised her guard, waiting for the inevitable attack. Still, it didn't come. After a few seconds, she pushed through a wooden door, where she heard the voice coming from.

"I am so sick of everyone judging me! Thinking they know what's best for me! I know what's best for me! How dare you or anyone else tell me otherwise!"

Carla entered the room, immediately greeted by the sight of herself looking back at her. In a brief second, she recognized what sort of room this was and quickly flattened herself against the wall.

Even after that, there was no attack, despite her image having been reflected throughout the entire area. For Carla had just chased Lucy into the obligatory hall of mirrors. She poked her head out, just enough to see some of the mirrored surfaces without being reflected in them.

She could see Lucy just fine though, the bat's image warped and distorted across the various mirror shapes. It gave Carla a closer look than she would've liked at her mussed fur, bloodshot eyes, and utterly deranged scowl. At least she's visible. Guess I should be grateful she's not a real vampire.

But it was clear by now that Lucy didn't even know she was in the room, so who was she yelling at?

"I said shut up, Lana! You think I'm not aware of that?! Just because you're a tool who'd settle for a deal like that, it doesn't mean I am! I have standards! And one of them is not sharing a guy like that with some other vampire hussy! I'll be the center of his world or not a part of it at all! Got it?!"

I seriously don't need to hear about your boy troubles, Sang. Can you hallucinate about something else, please?

"I'm sorry, what was that? No, I'm not going back, Leo! I have everything I need RIGHT HERE! Friends? Of course I have friends! Yes, I know one of them doesn't talk! Yes, I know the other one murdered you! We worked that out! Fine, I worked it out by force, but same difference!"

Okay, screw this. I'm not listening to a one-mammal soap opera.

Carla slowly crept out of her hiding spot and approached the mirror maze. But Lucy's reflection was far more noticeable, even to herself.

"And you don't even start with me, Dad! I have friends, I have family, and I have plenty of support! My life right now is JUST! FINE! All I have to do is kill that loud-mouthed luchadora and everything will be perfect again!"

Bitch, I'm not the one monologuing to myself.

"AND SPEAK OF THE DEVIL!" That wasn't who Lucy was talking to next, numerous pairs of reflective eyes all zeroing in on Carla instead. "You kept me waiting, Carla. Didn't you know the show's in here?"

"Pretty sure the show is supposed to be on the stage."

"The show is wherever I damn well please!" every face screamed at her. "Just as long as I've got my audience. And my entertainment." Lucy emerged from around one of the mirrors, looking no better in person. She wandered over to another of the glass walls and then put her small fist through it, yanking out a jagged shard of glass and gripping it like a knife. "For tonight's festivities, I'm thinking I cut you to ribbons and do a kegstand from your neck! How's that sound?! I DON'T CARE!"

"Sheesh, enough with the yelling," Reynard chided. "Have a psychotic breakdown with a little grace, why don't you?"

"AND YOU'RE NEXT!" Lucy noticed the makeshift blade cutting into her own hand, which she acknowledged by lifting the hand above her head and letting a drop of blood fall into her mouth. She grinned. "From now on, anyone who thinks they can tell me how to live is going to get nothing but a very firm counterproposal! LIKE THIS!"

Lucy kicked off the ground and took to the air, flying at Carla. Her attack transparent, the hyena easily sidestepped the clumsy charge, only for Lucy to disappear into the mirror maze immediately after. Because of course she did.

Fortunately, she'd seen enough movies to know where this was going. One was a Savage film, so it was especially memorable. Carla tried to tune out the deceptive reflected images of Lucy flying all around her in an effort to pinpoint the real deal. The usual trick of focusing on the floor wouldn't work with her opponent being airborne, so she did the other usual trick and punched a mirror herself, her blow strong enough to shatter the whole thing.

She predicted Lucy would strike as soon as she did that, so was prepared when the bat flew at her again and countered with another punch, missing the glass shard she wielded and hitting her dead-on. Lucy tumbled through the air and into another mirror, taking a good hole out of it herself. "I am gonna have a hot guy drink your leftovers off my naked back!" Grabbing a second shard, she disappeared through the hole.

Carla remained persistent and kept smashing mirrors, honestly not sure what the bat's plan was here. And not in the usual way that she didn't know what to expect, but more that she wasn't sure she even had a plan at this point. She'd avoided direct confrontation with her up until now for a damn good reason and Carla was doing a pretty effective job of demonstrating it.

The next mirror she broke, the bat was waiting behind to jump out at her. "HEEEEEEERE'S LUCY!" Carla raised her paws and caught both of her wrists before the glass shards went into her eyes. She then leaned back and headbutted Lucy between her own. Before she could do anything more, she kicked up and scratched Carla's arm with her pretty-sharp-themselves talons, slipping out of her grasp. "I'll use your vocal cords as a laugh track in the next Belfry!" Then off she went again.

Carla didn't even move. Three...two...

Lucy outright burst through another mirror shortly thereafter, now wielding three shards. That left only the foot still holding Sanchez's key, and Carla wouldn't be surprised if she tried stabbing her with that too.

The triple-bladed assault plus her own frustration seemed to bolster the bat's confidence. Carla couldn't effectively catch any of her attacks again without leaving herself open for another, and they proved difficult to dodge in these close quarters. She took a few slices on her arms as she bobbed and weaved as best she could, wishing she'd taken up boxing on the side. All the while, they kept trading blows both physical and verbal.

"Oh, you are just the sales call that keeps waking me up at 3 PM!" Lucy yelled.

"You can ask Sanchez; I don't sell a damn thing!"

"I WILL SUCK YOU!"

"At least two of those words are right!"

Carla really only needed one solid blow to get Lucy off her back, in this case an uppercut that propelled the bat into the ceiling. And there she stayed, just glaring down at her as if hoping the sheer intensity of her hatred would finish the job.

Fully invested in this glare-off, Carla only really stopped when her view was suddenly obstructed by thick white smoke that soon filled the entire room. Lucy's glare turned into a spiteful smile before she was concealed by it completely.

Carla coughed, but the smoke didn't appear to be toxic at all, or else Lucy would have to be really desperate to use it. It was just very annoying. "Damn...can't see a thing."

"That makes one of us!"

She realized too late that Lucy's voice was no longer coming from above her, and that realization came with a stabbing pain in her shoulder. There was only the swish of wings and then Lucy was gone again, leaving behind the glass shard embedded in her foe. Carla clutched the wound and grit her teeth, but didn't dare pull it out. "How did you-?"

"It's called echolocation!" Lucy's voice taunted, impossible to pinpoint at the speed she was moving around. "Flight isn't the only unfair advantage I've got!"

Carla was on-guard, turning every which way and honing her own senses to hear the bat's next approach. Even still, the next thing she detected was a shard in her ribs. Carla gasped in pain and had to quickly support herself on one of the unbroken mirrors lest she topple over.

"Also, I've been literally trained to kill with knives! It wasn't a specialty of mine, buuuuut-" Another shard went into Carla's leg, "I still got passing marks! Bet I can carve an 'A+' into your belly!"

"Not dead yet…" she said, coughing up some blood. "I'd say that's a fail."

"I just want to savor this, is all! By which I mean all this delicious blood you're splashing onto me! I'm not normally tacky enough to take a literal bloodbath, but I might just make an exception for you!"

Still managing to hold onto the mirror, Carla heard the sound of flapping wings approaching from the front, then abruptly backed up and toppled the thing over. She'd hoped to catch Lucy under it, but the sound of her wings had proven too good to be true. A trap actually, which was apparent when it was followed by a shard to the arm. Lucy had found more of them apparently.

Carla forced herself to stand upright, but was fighting not to collapse altogether from dizziness. Lucy didn't even need to feed on her to cause this much blood loss. And now that she had the advantage again, her special breed of insanity was less the screaming kind and more the kind where she stopped speaking entirely and instead just laughed. A lot. All Carla could hear around her was Lucy's incessant giggling, occasionally cut off by a short cry of pain from the hyena herself as she stuck another shard into her. If nothing else, her claim of wanting to savor this was certainly accurate.

Eventually though, Carla was left looking like a glass porcupine, still standing but now having to be careful not to trip over her own blood being spilled. Perhaps the sheer excitement of shedding so much of it inspired Lucy to speak again. "Aww, am I playing unfairly, Carly? Cheer up! Maybe this went better for you in an alternate universe! I hear those are a bitch!" Her voice again approached from the fog-covered veil. "As for this one, I suppose the two of us will just have to make do! ADIOS!" She went for the neck this time.

"Nope." Carla went for the jaw, socking Lucy in her's as soon as she closed in.

The bat flew back a bit before righting herself in mid-air, greatly confused. "Wha...lucky fluke!"

She took off, circling around Carla a few times before approaching from the side. Carla's elbow shot out and struck her again.

Lucy didn't get the chance to express her confusion further, the injured Carla not wasting time and immediately whirling around to follow that up with another punch. She bounced off the surface of a mirror several feet away, yet Carla came right at her again and punched her back into it, resulting in a crack. A few more punch-bounces later, Carla finally grabbed hold of Lucy by the scruff of her neck and reeled her fist back. She didn't have a whole lot of energy left, but gladly blew a bunch of it on a final haymaker that sent Lucy not only through the mirror behind her, but through several more behind that. The end result was a single row of mirrors that all had a bat-shaped hole blasted through them.

Carla poked the first of that row and it tipped over, soon knocking over the rest in a domino formation. With some difficulty, she limped over the unbroken glass surfaces to reach the outside of the mirror maze, where the smoke didn't reach. Only the fact that she could now afford to take this slow kept her from overexerting herself and her injuries.

Lucy looked almost worse, splattered with a combination of Carla's blood and her own, her face swollen, and the rest of her body flat against the wall. Even after all that, she was still holding on to Sanchez's key, which Carla gladly swiped from her. "H-How?" she asked wearily. "How did you...know where I...?"

"Next time you're bragging about your fancy bat senses, maybe you should remember the normal ones," Carla replied, tapping her nose. "I wouldn't have even known you were covered in my blood if you hadn't told me. After that, how could I not track you?"

"You beat me with blood?" Lucy asked in disbelief. And a little bit of offense. "How...dare you…" Slowly, she flaked off the wall and fell towards the floor.

She didn't quite hit it, falling into a familiar glass jar instead. Specifically, the one Carla had swiped from the lab. Before she could even register that, the hyena slapped the lid on it and sealed it shut. "H-Hey! What are you-?!"

"Relax." Carla grabbed a shard of glass not sticking out of her and stabbed a few holes into the lid. "There. Airholes. If I wanted to kill you, I would've left the acid in there."

"How noble of you. Just like always," she spat, throwing herself against the edges of the jar in an attempt to bust herself out.

"Not always," Carla replied. "I wouldn't have ended up in your Belfry in the first place if I was. I made some pretty big mistakes, that you honestly helped me work through in your own jacked-up way. Wasn't your intent, but you make a pretty good therapist when you're not trying to be." She groaned, plopping down against the wall next to her.

"Oh joy, you're sitting down to lecture me again?"

"I'm sitting down because you stabbed me a shitton of times and even I need a rest after that. You got an infirmary in here?"

"No."

"Then you're stuck with me. Besides, you don't need a lecture. Pretty clear you're beating yourself up more than I ever could."

"My black eye says otherwise!" She tried again to break out, only succeeding in tipping the jar over. The sturdy glass didn't even crack, leaving her furiously rolling the jar around in circles. "You think this is over?! It's just another setback to add to the pile! So once I'm on top again, I'll be higher than ever!"

"If you say so," Carla mused, just lazily watching her. "But for what it's worth, I think I was wrong about what I said before. You're not afraid of changing, just afraid of yourself. And deep down, maybe even you thought you got off too easily last time. So you wanted to face me again and confront your karma, maybe even face it. Maybe even thought you deserved it."

"Stop trying to tell me what I think!"

"Fair enough. Just my theory anyway." She yawned. "Alright, that's enough resting. I need to go get some help. You do too."

"I don't need anyone!"

"Spoken like someone who needs all of the above." Carla stood up. "Well, whatever prison doctor you get assigned to can't possibly do worse than your last one."

Lucy nodded numbly, until she fully processed that. Then her eyes widened and she threw herself back at the jar with extra vigor. "What?! NO! I can't go back! Not now! Not EVER! I-I change my mind! I'll fly away to that mansion in the woods! You'll never see me again! Just let me out! PLEASE!"

Carla paused, then bent over, an action that made her wince, to grab the bottled bat and hold her up to her eyes. "You wanna be better? Then let me share some advice a wise rat once told me." With her other paw, she flicked the glass. "Develop your character, dammit."

Predictably, Lucy kept screaming, crying, and pleading as soon as she put her back down. But Carla didn't care anymore. She had what she came here for. Now all she needed was an exit and medical attention.

The smoke cleared up completely as she stumbled her way back out. Over her shoulder, she could see Martina come in, ineffectually pushing the jar around in circles a bit faster. All while Lucy had broken down completely into hysterical sobs.

That was the last glance Carla bothered to give her.

---

Piers Narwhalter's Flumes of Doom

10: 48 PM

"Oh, a drop of Joker's blood wouldn't do us any harm!"

"A drop of Joker's blood wouldn't do us any harm!"

"A drop of Joker's blood wouldn't do us any harm!"

"And on this joke, you'll fall behind!"

Bogo couldn't even hear him well enough to be confused. He was now tumbling down an enormous water slide with Drummond Rane, the muffling of the plastic tubing and the rushing of the current making it difficult to hear just about anything. Then there was that increasingly loud, mechanical gnashing sound.

Both Bogo and Drummond were pretty curious about that last one, and looked behind them to see a very determined David riding the slide too, chomping at their heels.

Naturally, Drummond found this the perfect time to sucker punch his opponent, knocking Bogo back towards David's waiting jaws even as they all continued to slide downward. The shark lunged forward to clamp down on him, but Bogo halted the attempt by tilting his head back so his horns got caught under David's upper jaw, preventing him from closing his mouth. Only for a second, but it was long enough for him to then sock David in the nose again and get him to let go completely.

Revenge wasn't in the ZPD guidelines and was, in fact, strongly discouraged. But Bogo was already breaking those guidelines just by being here and he was quickly losing what little patience he had left. He struggled to climb back onto his stomach, then used the force of the rushing water to propel himself at Drummond, pulling the wallaby into a headlock from behind.

Even in these unusual confines, he struggled to restrain his strength and eventually got turned around on the slide, letting both of them see David approaching again. Drummond lifted his legs and kicked the shark back up the slide, then whipped his head back to clock Bogo under the chin. The buffalo fell onto his back once more, sputtering from the water now splashing onto his face. Drummond remained standing atop his chest, now riding him down like a surfboard. "This venture is inspirin' so many new Wallabeanie ideas, ya can't even imagine!"

Bogo was about to tell him where he could shove those ideas when he saw David approaching again over Drummond's shoulder. "Look out!"

He didn't even turn around. "Nothin' to it." Drummond abruptly grabbed Bogo's horns and yanked upward.

The chief could see David from his position, but Drummond too saw what he couldn't. Their water slide ride was about to come to an end, and as David closed in, the two mammals were ejected into the open air. The shark lunged and missed, falling into a pool of water below. Bogo and his passenger landed on a ledge above the water, atop a large pile of metal.

If nothing else, they were keeping to the theme. With the surface area resembling a graveyard of ships and the water slide serving as a cave, the place they'd landed in now must have been the hidden treasure hoard. Naturally, the "treasure" in question was a few open chests and piles upon piles of undoubtedly-fake gold coins. If it weren't designed and built by canines, he might've assumed they were the chocolate kind.

"Up and at 'em, mate! We ain't done here yet!" Bogo had the wind knocked out of his lungs as Drummond leapt back off of him.

"Hardly," Bogo agreed, grabbing a fistful of coins and throwing them back in Drummond's face, charging him in that brief moment of distraction. The wallaby was slammed into the wall, creating a small tremor in the ceiling above. Taking notice, Bogo dodged the expected counter kick, grabbing Drummond by the chin and bashing his head into the wall again. The tremor grew louder and Bogo quickly backed away, letting Drummond be buried by the small rockslide that resulted.

A few seconds later, he burst through the rubble, aiming a kick at the spot Bogo had been standing. Bogo was there no longer, and Drummond was instead struck by one of the treasure chests being used as a projectile, scattering coins and pieces of wood everywhere.

There was an unconventional advantage that came with fighting a seemingly-implacable foe. If you could reasonably predict their ability to withstand anything and everything you threw at them, there was little reason to expect anything else, and even less reason to hold back.

Bogo grabbed every chest he could get ahold of and threw them at the wallaby, disappointed that these ones weren't loaded with plush-provided weapons but finding they made pretty good weapons all on their own. The onslaught pushed Drummond back further and further, each chest breaking across his body but keeping him subdued up until Bogo had almost run out of ammo. That gave the wallaby enough of a gap to finally take another leap at him, this time knowing where he was aiming.

But Bogo had one more chest prepared, and put that into his path instead. Drummond landed inside the open chest, which Bogo then slammed shut on him. Before he could bust out, Bogo then lifted the imprisoned wallaby and chucked the chest towards the pool below. It didn't even make it to the water before it burst apart in mid-air. David leapt up out of the water to catch his flying snack, but Drummond kicked off his nose and sent him plummeting back into the drink while the wallaby returned to the ledge again.

Where he was immediately bashed over the head with a golden statuette in his own image, helpfully labeled a "Drummy". This one appeared to actually be real gold, unsurprising given its likeness, which gave the blow a little extra 'oomph'. It also dented it, given that gold wasn't a particularly strong metal.

Drummond sat up again, rubbing his lip. His paw came away with noticeable bloodstains. The wallaby's gaze hardened. "Alright, that's enough."

Bogo held the dented award threateningly, as if it would be enough to ward off whatever attack the wallaby had coming for him next.

No such attack came. "...Are you going to throw a punch or something?" the chief asked.

"Nah, didn't ya hear me, mate? I said that's enough." Drummond stretched out, adjusting his fedora that was somehow still firmly on his head. "You've made your point, and I don't think it's gonna get more impressive than beatin' me over the head with me own award, so let's just call it here, eh?"

Bogo dropped the Drummy to the ground, clinking against the rest of the hoard. "You're joking. After all that, you're just calling it quits?"

"Don't forget what this was all about, mate. I was just wantin' to test your mettle. And ya passed, got a bloody trophy for it and everything. No reason to drag it out any longer." David lunged out of the water behind him, teeth bared. Drummond kicked him in the chin to knock the robotic shark on his back, grabbed him by the tail, and then spun him around once before tossing him into the air, where he then spontaneously exploded. "But if ya really wanna keep goin' at it…"

"No! I mean, I agree. Was a good fight."

"That it was. Here, this is for you." He lifted his hat and tossed Narwhalter's key over to Bogo, who almost fumbled it and would've spent the next several minutes trying to find it again. "It's probably for the best anyhow. I've already been away from me company longer than I woulda liked. Gotta make sure those fussy bean counters haven't tarnished the Wallabeanie name."

"Can't have that."

"Damn right we can't." Drummond hopped across the small pool of water to a concrete ledge on the other side, with a ladder that led back up to the surface. He glanced up, then back across at Bogo again. "As for you, just remember: embrace the madness."

"Embrace the madness," Bogo returned, waving dryly. He watched as Drummond Rane turned back around and leapt straight up, disappearing from view.

Hell with that, I'm never leaving the office again. I don't WANT to get used to this.

---

Control Room

10: 52 PM

"Bravo! Braaaavo!" Count Reynard clapped merrily, surveying all of the monitors with glee. It was like watching five action movies at once, though he supposed it was more like four action movies and a documentary. Still, a damn good show all around!

Taking a small break from the excitement, he turned back around in his chair to look over the chessboard again.

On the north side of the board stood the White Queen, facing away from the broken form of the Black Bishop, his jumbled pieces swept away into a dustpan and carried off. In the center was the White King, still standing next to the Black Pawn, but with a series of checkers now surrounding them both and forming a heart shape. On the edge of the board, the White Knight lay collapsed next to the Black Knight, both staring up at whatever inanimate chess pieces considered the sky. Reynard rocked them back and forth a little, adding some sputtering noises for effect. Over in one corner, the Black Queen had lost her checkers and was now trapped beneath an overturned glass, the White Rook turned away with a number of scratch marks scored into her figure. In the opposite corner, the White Bishop stood alone atop the alphabet block, the goldfish cracker smashed into crumbs and the Black Rook missing entirely.

"Yes, good plays all around," Reynard concluded. "One might even be tempted to use the c-word. But not 'cute', or 'cancer', or 'country music', or anything that would jack up the content rating, or whatever's in Narwhaler's encrypted 'C' file that's so damn important." He leaned back in his chair, momentarily losing track of what he was even talking to himself about. It was probably important though. "Alas, I'm better than that. I'm the only one who scores a Countrouple around here!"

He reached down and pinched the White King, lifting the piece high above the others. "But perhaps I have some competition yet." He extended his cane and set the White King atop the headpiece with the Black King, standing side-by-side. "Now that's more like it." Satisfied, Reynard looked back down at the other pieces. "As for the rest of you, while I enjoyed crafting all these elaborate chess metaphors, let's be honest, you're all pawns. So I think it's time we cleared the board."

Placing the White King and Black King into his front pocket, Reynard swung his cane and swept everything else off the board, scattering pieces everywhere. Then he turned around and pressed a few buttons on his control console, smirking up at the monitors as he did so.

In Mr. Big's Frozen Funland, a thick wall of ice came down to block Twitchy as she attempted to exit through the tunnel. The rabbit almost ran right into it, but stepped back in shock and then attempted to kick it instead with predictable results. Self-inflicted foot pain made a good show all on its own. As for Iceberg, only a large impression in the snow was left behind when that feed finally came back on, Peggy and Sue vanishing with him. No great loss there.

In Lady Lang's Bumper Bike Circuit, Snowflake discovered that the elevator that would take him back down to the entrance was suddenly inoperable. As he and Mini-Mam both hammered on the buttons, Momma's Boy came up behind them and attempted to work his engineering magic on it. Like the revenge plot against his family, his efforts were doomed to fail.

In Sandcat Sanchez's Musical Madhouse, Joker left Vampirella and Stranger Mouse behind, trying to navigate the winding hallways of the mansion to reach the surface again. Even with her reflective acupuncture, she might have well made it out if not for the fact that the walls had shifted and led her into a perpetually looping hallway. She only realized that when she came across her own blood trial, following her movements like breadcrumbs, and went into a swear-laden rant directed at him.

In Piers Narwhalter's Flumes of Doom, Chief Bison-Ass was blocked off by two of the pirate ships suddenly crashing into each other right in front of the entrance, putting a huge pile of wood between them. In response, he apparently decided this was just typical now and sat himself down to rest. Sadly, Mr. Market Substitute was also gone.

"Beautiful." Reynard spun around once more, taking the kings from his pocket and placing them back on the board, facing each other on opposite sides with no interference. "Now it is exactly as it should be."

---

Plunder Plaza

10: 55 PM

"Uh...Nick? Where is everyone?"

The Wilde Times central hub was completely devoid of life, which was a little hard to appreciate given how loud and flashy it was even now. But while they had all split up at roughly the same time, Nick was thus far the only one to return.

And Finnick too. "I know I kinda dragged out that card game-"

"Games."

"-games, but still, we got back pretty quick. I mean, let's face it, there's no way anyone else got as easy of a ride as you did."

"Yeah...I guess you're right," Nick said, appreciating the fennec's efforts to reassure him. He could tell he was trying his best. "We'll just sit here and wait for them to come back then."

"Nice sentiment; mean odds."

They looked to the center of the plaza, where the golden Reynard statue was once again facing them. "I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like first?"

"Whichever you're planning to give me first anyway," Nick answered.

"Well said. The good news is that your friends are all alive, if not necessarily kicking, and have triumphed over their respective foes." Nick didn't even get the chance to be relieved for them before his father continued. "The bad news is that they won't be coming back here. Their role in your birthday celebration is now over, I'm afraid."

"The hell do you mean by that?!" Finnick snapped. "What about those keys you gave us?! I held onto that damn thing just for this!"

"Don't be upset, Radar. You're still here, aren't you? I meant it when I said you were my favorite. That's why you got the most important role of all the pawns!"

"Boy, you sure know how to make a guy feel special."

"Wait," Nick interjected, stepping forward. "Are you saying those keys didn't even mean anything?"

"What I'm saying is that a conmammal doesn't challenge you to a game unless they've already assured the outcome. The fact is, the Black Pawn giving you that key was the only outcome that ever mattered. I couldn't manage a 100% chance of that happening, but I at least tried to get it above 85. I dunno, you tell me, Radar. How well did I do at getting you to 'betray' my 'trust'? Did I need to threaten you harder? Use more short jokes?"

Finnick seethed, but cussing him out again at this point would only accentuate how badly he'd been played. "Nick, we don't need to go along with this. We'll just...Nick?" Seeing the taller fox no longer next to him, Finnick found him by the gate to Count Reynard's Future Foxtrot, examining the circular plate and its five locks that sealed it shut.

Finally, he took Thornbrush's key and stuck it into Thornbrush's lock, turning it. The lock popped right off and fell to the cobblestone floor. "What, was that just bothering your OCD or something?" Finnick asked.

Nick paused a moment, then stuck Thornbrush's key into Big's lock, and turned it. The lock came off. Finnick blinked. "I'm sorry, what?"

"It's a classic con," Nick explained, continuing down the line. "The five locks each have a unique design and so do each of the five keys. Thus, it's easy to presume that the keys open their matching locks, without even realizing that you're making an assumption." He stepped back, the five locks all coming undone and tumbling to the ground. "In actuality, every lock was exactly the same, and my key was the only one that could open them."

With the locks gone, the circular plate shook and its center flipped over, replacing the "Coming Soon" message with a different one.

Coming, Son?

With a low hiss, the plate split down the middle and released steam as the futuristic gate opened, unveiling the way to their final frontier.

"So that entire key hunt was just a trap to get you guys split up?" Finnick asked.

"We knew that much from the getgo," Nick replied. "Just thought it'd be more the 'walking into danger' kind of trap, not the 'locked in a room' kind."

"A plan that relies on you misjudging my intentions, son? Easy money. Remember when you thought I was trying to kill you? I member!"

"Not that you really needed to do any of this since you have that bomb threat hanging over our heads anyway," Nick pointed out.

"Seriously! If you wanted him to yourself that bad, you could've just made everyone else wait outside instead of playing jokes on us!" Finnick agreed.

"Excuse me, narrative catharsis is not a joke, mmmmkay? What kind of lousy host would I be if I invited my son's friends to his birthday party and just made them stand around all night? Least I could do is give them something to keep them occupied, and now they all have one-of-a-kind souvenirs of their trip to Wilde Times! But as we all know, the real souvenirs are the enemies they made along the way."

"What about me, huh?" Finnick asked. "Am I staying put?"

"Of course not! You and my son have had such history together that it would be downright criminal to deny you! Come in, come in, both of you! Us foxy folk will celebrate the occasion together!"

He said that, but Nick was getting a seriously bad vibe from it. "Hey Finn, if you're having second thoughts about coming along, you can bail out here. I'll just...Finn?" Seeing the smaller fox no longer next to him, Nick found him already several feet through the gate, tapping his steel bat against his shoulder impatiently.

"The hell are you waiting for, an invitation? 'Cause ya freaking got one!"

"So much for that," Nick muttered, following after him.

As soon as they were through, the gates closed shut behind them with a synthesized Reynard laugh and an air of finality.

---

Alright, you're PROBABLY out of popcorn by now. We don't fox around with our finales.

Now, it's been said time and time again that Born to Be Drabbles is not required reading, but I admit this chapter is probably the biggest challenge to that claim. The duels with Koslov, Felix, AND Lucy will all make more sense if you're caught up with the drabbles. But much like the case with Martina and Bloodlines, either you know what's going on or you're in the same position as the heroes knowledge-wise.

We still tried to drop enough info nuggets to give the necessary context though. Koslov is a mysterious rogue with hidden secrets, Felix has trouble managing emotions like a normal mammal, and Lucy is feeling the effects of not having a good support system to help her, unlike her experiences in When Instinct Falls. As for Finnick and Drummond, the former was a deliberate anticlimax (partially because he and Nick were one real talk from making up at this point) and the latter was an excuse to bring this fic to maximum wackiness given the otherwise limited history he has with Bogo. I think it's safe to say our audience has also embraced the madness if you've made it this far.

And with that, we have taken every active antagonist not named Reynard out of play. Shoutout to the ZAA Discord server for providing some of the numerous ideas that went into the construction of Wilde Times.

Speaking of input, it's time to reveal the results of our reader question from the last chapter! Who are your favorite Born to Be Wilde OCs? Let's take a look:

1 vote for Piper Piedmont

1 vote for Drummond Rane

1 vote for the rats in general

1 vote for Marian Wilde

1 vote for Vexey

1 vote for Kyle VanDal

1 vote for Dr. Hareison

1 vote for Wallace

2 votes for Count Reynard

2 votes for Harvey Montapue

2 votes for Lady Lang

2 votes for Felix Dire Senior

2 votes for the Lang Family in general

3 votes for Lucy Sang

3 votes for Simon VanDal

3 votes for the Vixens

4 votes for Carla Hyenandez

8 votes for Jimmy Frost

Note that these results were taken not only from reviews but from personal PM's, plus Jack and I also voting. (For those curious, my favorite is Carla and Jack is tied between Simon and Harvey.) That said, I didn't think a poll involving this sheer number of characters was going to have such a thing as a clear winner, but it's pretty hard to deny that our boy Jimmy Frost has taken the gold on this one. Glad to see so many of you like our frosty boi so much. :)

Which leads me into this next announcement: Jimmy Frost is going to be getting his own spin-off story! It was planned long before this poll, but I can't think of a better time to drop that little reveal. All I'll say right now about Jimmy's story is that it won't come until after Born to Be Wilde is concluded, so that's another reason to hope that will finally happen this year!