A/N: Aaah, nothing like some DR-esque Sev dreams to get me back on Wattpad 🙈 sure it's great that my drugz help keep the depression away, but best of all they give me a billion awesome half-lucid dreams erry night bbyyyyy!
And the magic ones are the best. I've literally been considering memorising some more HP spells because in my dreams im like fak i only know expelliarmus and stupify. But my slow dream-brain sometimes finds it hard to remember even just expelliarmus, so I don't think i have much chance of remembering something like petrificus totalus. I almost avada kedavra'd someone last night but I was like ah fuck wait thats the killing curse, don't say that. I mean, it was a servant of Voldemort come to hunt me down... but still... I suppose im just a good guy like that *hair flick*
Follow me if you wanna be notified if i ever decide to recap an epic HP dream lol ooooor just to boost my ego :P
But apologies for the hiatus everyone 😬 You'll (hopefully) be pleased to know that one of my 2021 goals is to reach 100k reads soooo if im gonna get anywhere near that imma have to get on to regular updates and get this story moving onto the fun stuff... you know, a handhold, a hug, dare i say, a lil kiss. You know, the kinda stuff you'd expect to get by chapter 10... not 40 ️
-El x
ps i've been re-watching The Office US (the best show ever) and i impulse ordered a Dunder Mifflin hoodie off AliExpress and also i kinda have a crush on Dwight wtf is wrong with me lmao
"Hey, Ash... Ash... Asha!"
"Shut up, Alisha," Jules scolded in a low voice. "You know she likes to sleep in. Besides, it's the holidays. I think she needs a break from your nagging more than she needs a break from school."
Alisha, who was standing beside Asha's four-poster, screwed up her face at her 'considerate'roommate.
"Alisha, everyone needs some extra sleep now and again," Jules reasoned.
"Yes, but no one needs that much extra sleep," Alisha protested.
"I agree," chimed Maive from the doorway.
Alisha shot Jules a smug look and inhaled a large gust of air in preparation to bellow Asha's name. But Maive wasn't done.
"...with Jules," she finished. "You should shut up, Leesh."
Alisha pouted.
"Hey now, don't give me that look," Maive chuckled. "You forgot that Ash casts that stupid sound-barrier around her bed. So, the only way to wake her up is like this..."
She promptly skipped across the dorm and belly-flopped on top of Asha, who was buried in a cocoon of blankets.
"Yesss!" Alisha cheered. Jules rolled her eyes and went back to folding her clothes.
"Maaaaiive," Asha whined, burrowing deeper under the covers. Much like the previous nights, she'd spent the very early morning outside in the snow, playing around with wandless magic. She could've practised in some abandoned section of the castle, but she loved the outdoor air enough to put up with the wet and cold.
"It's almost eleven you goose!" Maive laughed, rolling off her and sitting cross-legged on the end of the bed. "We're gonna go into town, and you're coming with us, right?"
Asha groaned.
"Yes, you are!" Alisha decided on her behalf. She tugged Asha's pillow out from under her and hit her with it. "I want your opinion on those shoes I was telling you about. You know, the gold and white ones that match my dress?"
"Plus, it's your last chance to buy a dress for the Ball," Maive teased.
With great effort, Asha sat up, her blankets wrapped around her head like a shawl. "How many times do I have to tell you guys, I'm not going to the stupid Ball!"
"Yeah, well, we disagree," said Alisha.
"And apparently so do all the boys in the castle," Maive smirked.
"Urgh, don't even get me started," Asha grumbled, flopping onto her back and smothering herself with the pillow.
To her dismay, it had become somewhat of a challenge throughout the school; task: convince Asha Winters to go to the Ball with you. Not a day went by where some kid almost half a decade younger than her asked to be her date. Rumour had it she was waiting for the ultimate 'man' to say yes to. Though, recently, even a few girls had invited her, thinking they might be more in her demographic. Asha found the admirably daring girls harder to say no to than the egotistical seniors that kept harassing her. Over the past few days especially, it had gotten rather out of hand.
Alisha snatched the pillow away again. "Oh poor Ashy, all the hot guys just won't leave her alone."
"I know right, Leesh. It's gotta be a tough life," Maive mocked. She grabbed the pillow off Alisha and batted Asha in the face.
"You know it's not actually because they want to go with me! It's just about winning the game. But they're so goddamn persistent." Asha sighed. "Maybe I should start wearing a sign that says: The answer's no. Now please fuck off."
All three girls giggled, though underlying this was a quiet nervousness. They'd all begun to notice Asha's patience wearing thin when it came to the relentless invitations.
"So you're seriously not gonna come to the Ball? But it will be fun! Just hang out with us! This is your last chance to buy a dress. If it's about the money I can-"
"It's not about the money, Maive. It's just not my thing. Why is that so hard for everyone to understand? If I'd realised everyone was gonna make such a big deal out of it, I might've gone just to avoid all this fuss!"
"That's the spirit!" Maive grinned. "Well, do you wanna come to Hogmeade anyway? It's not supposed to snow today and apparently Honeydukes has ordered in a bunch of new Christmas stock."
"Hmm," Asha considered, "Tempting, but I think I'm gonna -"
"Wait! Let me guess," Alisha piped up. "You're gonna spend your afternoon third-wheeling Cedric and Cho again?"
Asha laughed, her blankets slipping off her head. It was true. She had been spending a lot of time with Cedric, and these days that often meant Cedric and Cho.
Asha had preemptively decided Cho was vapid, popular bitch. This turned out to be far from the truth. She had now concluded that Cho and Cedric were very well suited. She was glad that Cedric had his romantic lens focussed on Cho. It meant Asha didn't have to worry about Cedric's feelings about their close friendship becoming anything more than platonic.
"Solid guess. But no. I was gonna go help Hagrid feed the Skrewts again."
"Ashaaa! It's his fault for getting those monsters in the first place, let him deal with them."
"Aw, come on! They're much easier to wrangle with magic. Plus I like hanging out with Hagrid."
"Urgh, you weirdo!" Alisha moaned. "You never hang out with us anymore!"
"Are you kidding, I hang out with you every day!" Asha pointed out.
"Not as much as you used to. You're always busy with Cedric and his sixth year pals or the Weasley twins or where ever else you run off to in the evenings."
"She's right, Ash," said Maive with the smugness of someone who knows she's won, "so I think that means you're coming with us. Right?"
"Okay, okay!" Asha conceded, wanting to quickly veer away from the topic of wherever else she ran off to.
The girls were right though - she had been busy. It was the second week of the holidays and Christmas was nearly upon them. This time of year always felt strange and nostalgic for Asha, and now those bitter-sweet emotions came with a whole new archive of memories. Most of all, she missed Crash. In response to this internal battleground, she had been keeping herself very, very busy.
On top of practising magic, reading, visiting Hagrid and hanging out with Cedric, Asha's holidays had partly involved spending time with the Weasleys and their entrepreneurial inventions. The boys had even let her into the Gryffindor common room a couple of time to help them with some tricky charm work. The Gryffindor common room was, in Asha's opinion, awesome. Though the seven flights of stairs were unfortunate.
As for 'wherever else she was running off to', one could make a pretty good guess. Asha was spending an increasing amount of time, either by invitation or just showing up, in Severus' office and occasionally Dumbledore's. For example, just a few days ago she had been heading towards the library, hugging a stack of spellbooks to her chest.
"Winters!" Severus had called coldly from across the corridor. Her stomach swooped and she struggled against a smirk as a little fluttering feeling found its way into her chest.
There were only a few first year stragglers in the corridor who all scuttled away, avoiding eye contact with their fearsome Potions Professor. Asha absently ran a hand through her hair as she walked over to him.
With a jerk of his head, he led her around the corner to a narrow, empty corridor. When it was certain they were alone, he still maintained his tall, stiff posture in case anyone rounded the corner. But apart from that, he dropped his teacher facade; their interaction shifted naturally into the more balanced dynamic that now existed between them.
"Do you have plans for this afternoon?" he intoned.
"It sounds like I do now," she replied with half a smirk.
"Good." He sighed and glanced around the corridor, admiring the holly wreaths and mistletoe with a distasteful look on his face. "Spending the holidays here is ever so dull."
And so Asha spent that afternoon in Severus' office, apparently rescuing him from total boredom.
In the beginning, these visits were spent with Asha practising magic, reading or just plain thinking, while Severus would work, brew or observe her magic. Her 'normal' magic had become too advanced to perfect in public without drawing attention. Hence, once classes had finished and Severus had a little more free time, he began helping her with the intricacies of some of the trickier charms and transfigurations.
These quiet evenings with him had been peppered with sarcastic comments, teasing and idle chat. Severus would sometimes complain to her about Potter and this led to more substantial conversations. Of late, they had graduated to long, meandering talks which once or twice went late into the night.
The development of their friendship was something neither of them was comfortable acknowledging, but they both felt the slow shift. They both knew it. And they both knew the other knew it. But by unspoken agreement, they pretended it wasn't happening. A level of understanding and certain boundaries existed between them that were never vocalised. A language that was never spoken. It gave their growing bond a unique depth and security.
It was strange; during the times she spent alone with Severus, Asha was the most content she had felt in years. But oddly, at the same time, part of her was roiling with an aching discontent. It was this niggling feeling in the fabric of her being. It created a tense web of wanting in her. Luckily, this niggling was settled far in the background, and she ignored it, instead basking in that primary glow of contentment.
Back in the dorm room on that late holiday morning (very late, too late, according to Alisha), Asha pulled a face at her pestering friends, flung off her blankets and used her wand to Accio some warm clothes from her trunk. "Beleive it or not, Honeydukes does actually sound more appealing than an afternoon with the Skrewts."
"Finally!" Alisha exclaimed, "she says something sensible!"
That evening, a throng of fourth year Hufflepuffs burst through the doors to the Great Hall. Filtch had just finished shouting at them to remove their damp, snow-peppered coats before they entered.
As the group tramped down the centre aisle, Asha quietly vanished the water and mud dripping off everyone's boots. This turned out to be quite the task, given they decided to trod all the way up to the front of the Hall, where there was space for them to sit together.
As she took her seat, Asha habitually scanned the staff table for Severus. They briefly locked eyes, before he shot a look of utter exasperation and distaste in the direction of her large, boisterous circle of friends. Asha quickly stifled her laugh and pursed her lips, pretending it was Justin's declaration of being hungry enough to eat a Hippogriff that had amused her.
Ravenous after an icy trek around Hogsmeade, she was quick to polish off a large plate of roast chicken and grilled veggies. Feeling too impatient to sit around while the rest of the group finished up (and underwent the after dinner chatting which could last anywhere between fifteen minutes to an hour), she gave Maive a 'see ya later' nudge, swung her legs out from the table and stood up.
Another motivation of Asha's for leaving dinner early, was in case Severus coincidently departed the Hall at a similar time - he didn't tend to linger at mealtimes. And if they happened to meet in the corridor, she would likely soon find herself relaxing with him in the calm quiet of his office.
In the fleeting moments before she turned her back on the staff table, she searched for Severus' eyes again, wanting to communicate her 'offer', as she liked to think of it (as opposed to a 'request'), for company. Unfortunately, she found he was in a tense conversation with Professor Moody and he was giving the ex-Auror his staple unwavering stare. Still, she hoped that in the time it took her to walk up the aisle he might notice her leaving alone and take the cue.
She only managed a few steps when she was intercepted by Brad. The cocky, dark-haired jock had watched her from his spot further up the bench and leapt up just when she'd been about to pass. She was forced to come to an abrupt stop, narrowly avoiding bumping into him.
"So, I hear you've been telling every boy who asks you that you're not going to the Ball," he said in a low voice, as if this wasn't common knowledge. Neither of them could've noticed Albus Dumbledore's keen ears honing in on their exchange, even as he continued to nod politely to Professor Trelawney.
Asha struggled not to glare at Brad with blatant disgust, knowing where this would be going. Instead, she rolled her eyes and made to step past him. He cut her off with a sleazy sidestep. This left her standing far too close for comfort but she refused to take a submissive step back.
"But I don't think that's true," Brad continued, with all the arrogance Asha expected from him. "I think a looker like you is just waiting for a real man to invite you. And I know you shot down our lovely Champion, but I think pretty boy's not your style is it. I think you like a little muscle... A little bad boy."
Up until this point, Asha had been waiting with a complacent expression on her face, patiently letting the bullshit wash over her. But this had gone on far too long.
"I'm afraid you're mistaken, Bradley," she said callously, "I'm definitely not going. But I'm sure there are plenty of other, delusional girls who would love to accompany you." As she spoke, holding his attention with hard eyes, she circled him. Without him registering it, she was now the one with the exit behind her.
Brad scoffed. "Don't lie. Every girl is going. Even the juniors are desperate to be invited." His voice was still an attempt at seductive but it was clear his hurt ego was struggling to hold its temper.
"Yep, well, not me," she said curtly and turned her back on him.
Asha had once shamelessly asked Cedric why he kept this dickhead as a friend. Cedric had insisted Brad was such a good Keeper it was important to stay on good terms with him. She also suspected it was mostly to do with the fact that sweet Cedric wasn't one to shun people, no matter how idiotic they were.
Starting swiftly up the aisle, she only managed a few strides before she felt Brad walk up behind her.
"Oh come on, Winters" he breathed in her ear. Then he reached down and pinched her bum.
The muscle memory kicked in before caution had time to show its face. In a flash, Asha had spun around and pinned Brad's arms behind his back. Brad yelped in surprise.
"Touch me again and I'll hex you, Walters," she growled quietly in his ear. Only as the words left her lips, did she register the sea of gawking eyes...
It was quite the sight: the towering athlete trapped in a headlock, struggling and failing to escape the grasp of the tall yet petite Asha Winters.
Like a wave, the scandalised whispering swelled before breaking into a frothing rumble of hushed exclamations.
"Ooh shit," muttered Maive, "Ash finally snapped."
Maive had always sensed something unusual about Asha, so that now, seeing her friend looking like some kind of trained muggle street fighter, she was more surprised to find herself not feeling very surprised at all.
Asha hadintended for it to be a quick, quiet threat, only witnessed by a handful of people, which it might've been if Brad hadn't cried out like a little wimp.
All she could think as she stared at the sea of faces - some shocked, some impressed, some (such as the twins') deeply amused - was oooh, you idiot. You're really gunning for that psycho reputation, aren't you?
She gently released Brad, gave him one last glare for good measure, then made for the closest exit. This involved cutting in front of the Hufflepuff and Slytherin tables and slipping out the side door not normally used by students. As she passed beneath the staff table she kept her eyes straight ahead, scowling, still furious at Brad.
From the swells of whispers, she heard someone say, "Isn't that the girl who punched Binns' cupboard?"
Up at the head table, Dumbledore whispered something in the ear of an incensed Professor McGonagall. Brad was still standing in the aisle, staring furious and dumbfounded at Asha as she left. McGonagall stood up and swept down towards Brad like a fast-approaching dark cloud, yet to break into thunder and lightning. The whole hall fell dead silent, everyone eager (and slightly afraid) of what she was going say.
"My office. Now, Mr Walters."
"But what about her!"
"I'll attend to her later."
Brad opened his mouth to argue.
"Not another word," she snapped in her scariest voice. She and Brad took the long way out of the Hall, Brad stalking up the aisle, steam practically hissing from his reddening ears, McGonnagal biting at his heels.
Once the Great Hall doors had swung shut behind them, Dumbledore stood up.
"Well," he said, quite cheerily, "all unexpected - if unruly - excitements must come to an end, so I suggest you get back to your dinner. Might I say, the kitchen staff have done an excellent job on the Cornish Pasties this evening."
There was a beat of dead silence. Then the students burst into a storm of chatter. Dumbledore gave Severus a look, and both men quietly exited the room.
Asha was a way down the corridor (she hadn't decided where she was headed yet - potentially to brood in the Astronomy Tower) when she heard the soft whoosh of the door. At the sight of Albus and Severus, she gave them a guilty grimace.
"Whoops," she mouthed.
"If you will follow me to my office," said Dumbledore in a merry voice, as if Asha hadn't just threatened to pop the head off one of his students. Severus just looked at her darkly. None of them talked until the door of Albus' office clicked shut.
"I'm sorry, it was a reflex!" Asha implored. "He grabbed my fuckin' arse that revolting little -"
"Why have you been telling people you're not going to the ball?" Dumbledore interrupted.
Severus watched as Asha froze mid-rant, her lips slightly parted as her defensiveness dissolved into confusion.
"Er... because I'm not?" she responded warily. She glanced at Severus, searching for an explanation as to why this is what Dumbledore wanted to discuss after what had just happened.
Dumbledore sighed. "Asha, you need to be going to the ball. We can't have you drawing any more attention to yourself - especially with outsiders in the castle. Dare I even comment on what has taken place moments ago."
There was a pause.
Asha opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "Don't you think... you're..." She didn't know the right way to put it. "It's just... it seems a bit extreme."
"Asking you to go to a school dance is extreme?" said Severus hotly. It was the first he'd spoken since leaving the Hall. In actuality, he was troubled by where this discussion was heading. He wondered whether Albus had properly weighed the risks of this conversation.
Asha shot daggers at him.
"I think it's extreme to think that me not going to a dance will somehow raise enough eyebrows to give away my identity!" she glowered. "And it's not like I'm the only one not going. Some kids have gone home for Christmas!"
"Very few."
"Severus, what the hell!" she snapped, bewildered as to why he was taking Dumbledore's side.
"Enough," said Dumbledore, raising his hands. "Asha, I agree that on its own, attending the Yule Ball doesn't hold much significance. But everything adds to a bigger picture. What happened this evening was extremely regrettable. But, of course, there is no use in dwelling on it. What is done is done. But every little thing counts. Please, Asha. You need to do all that you can to blend in. Now is more important than ever."
At that last remark, Severus' shoulders tensed.
Asha blinked, running over Dumbledore's last words: now is more important than ever.
"Why?" she asked steadily.
When he didn't answer, she folded her arms and leant back against his desk, assuming a very stubborn air.
Albus and Severus exchanged looks. It almost felt like they were sizing her up.
"Some strange and suspicious things have been happening this year," Dumbledore said slowly.
Asha's insides tightened. "Like the Dark Mark."
"Yes."
Her eyes flickered between the two men. "And what else?"
Severus turned to Albus. A wordless conversation passed between the two men, like Severus was asking for permission. He slowly opened his mouth.
"Potter..." he began, then turned to Asha, "was not the person who put his name in the Goblet of Fire."
There was a silence, as his words settled in the room.
"Someone else entered his name?" Asha asked, more to herself. Who? Why? She added the information to her web of connections, rearranging the picture. "Someone with malicious intent... and very powerful magic." She had always wondered how on earth little Harry had managed to bypass the Goblet's wards. She felt stupid. Perhaps she had been in denial. There was only one type of person who would be out to get Harry James Potter.
"If it's concerning Potter, then it's concerning you too," said Severus.
"The witch or wizard responsible has been inside this castle," said Dumbledore. "They must've been if they had access to the Goblet during the period of name submissions."
As much as Asha wanted to push for more information, she felt sick.
Though her expression was rock solid, Severus picked up the change in Asha's breathing; her decreased eye contact; the way she was gripping one bicep so the ligaments in her hand were more prominent.
"Okay. I'll go to the Ball," she said in a hollow tone.
Understanding the fear, anger and pain she must be feeling, Albus took a step towards her. "I'm sorry, Ash-"
"Please, don't," she blurted. Being coddled would only push her emotions over the edge. She couldn't bear it.
The three of them stayed in the office for several minutes, not speaking. Even the usual sound of soft snoring was missing; all the portraits were wide awake and listening with keen ears. Asha remained standing, arms crossed, sitting against the edge of the desk, staring hard-eyed at the floor. Severus stood next to the large bookshelf, watching her. Dumbledore sat in one of the armchairs, lost in the complex maze of his mind.
Suddenly, Asha made a sharp inhale and brought a hand to her forehead. She followed this with an annoyed, resigned sigh, pinching her eyes shut. Both Severus and Dumbledore looked at her with concern.
"I already told a bunch of people who invited me to the Ball that I wasn't going," she groaned. She was already thinking about how embarrassing it was going to be when she broke the news to everyone. After all the hurt egos and gossip, as expected, Asha Winters was, in fact, attending the Yule Ball.
"A bunch of people?" repeated Dumbledore.
"You don't want to know," she advised. Albus would certainly not be pleased if he knew the stupid amount of fuss she had caused. "Urgh, and poor Cedric will think I was lying to him," she whined. It was a testament to how much closer she'd become with Albus and Severus that she said this out loud.
"Cedric? As in Cedric Diggory?" queried Severus. He raised an eyebrow. "Why would he ask you to the Ball?"
Asha laughed, then saw the look on Dumbledore's face and faltered. She cleared her throat awkwardly.
"I may have been doing some duelling practice with him, er... helping him to prepare for the Tournament." She guiltily tugged at her hoodie strings. "Discretely!" she added hastily, seeing the looks on their faces.
Now Severus thought about it, he had occasionally seen the boy trotting alongside Asha in the corridors.
"Helping him," he repeated.
"No, not, um... is that what I said?" Asha mumbled, suddenly taking a great interest in a quill on Dumbledore's desk.
Severus strode up to her as he demanded angrily: "As in giving him a full display of your magical abilities?"
"Not a full display!" she snapped, pushing her self upright to face him defiantly, though the guilt was growing in her chest. "I just showed him some of the duelling techniques I've read about!"
"I suppose that means non-verbal magic?" Dumbledore asked calmly, causing Severus and Asha to spin around. Then Severus faced Asha again, waiting for her to admit the answer.
"Yes," she confessed, "but he and I are close and I trust him not to tell anyone. I really do. And we haven't practised for weeks now."
"And why is that?" Severus growled, and Asha had the uncanny suspicion that he knew the answer... she had gotten carried away... she had hurt him. She looked away.
"You need to be cautious with Mr Diggory," Dumbledore warned. "His father is a well-established figure in the Ministry."
Asha swallowed with difficulty - her mouth had gone dry many minutes ago. She nodded.
"But I don't discourage the friendship," Dumbledore continued. This caught Asha by surprise. "Finding trust and connection in others is something that is ofttimes worth the risk."
Severus clenched his jaw and walked stiffly to the window, containing his frustration with the Headmaster.
"Just be careful," said Dumbledore, "and I don't doubt that you will be, given what you now know about the likely proximity of at least one remaining Voldemort supporter."
All Asha could manage was a sincere nod. When the following silence told her nothing more was going to be said, she made for the door. She felt in dire need of some fresh air.
"Not so quick, Asha," Dumbledore called. "You have a detention with Professor McGonagall. Physical violence is certainly not an acceptable behaviour at Hogwarts."
"Can't I do the detention with..." she inclined her head towards Severus, who still faced the window.
"No," Dumbledore replied. "Now go. Professor McGonagall is expecting you."
Asha had time for one last glance at Severus, his broad back a wall between them, before she departed.
Between wispy clouds, stars lit up the roof of the Earth in a glittering band of dust. Snow spiralled from the midnight sky, landing in Asha's hair like powdered sugar. The only sounds were the crunch of her boots on icy pebbles, and the soft lapping of the Black Lake. Then, a new sound. She froze. The hairs on her neck stood on end. As she strained to hear the noise, her pulsating orb of fire was swallowed by the darkness. It didn't matter. She listened hard. There it was again... that noise. She released her breath as a grin crept onto her face. It was Christmas Eve, and now Asha couldn't wait for it to be morning.
A/N: Eeeee vote vote vote to send me dopamine
ps Any guesses as to what the noise is my dudes?
pps oh ma lord i nearly forgot to add a cartoon