AN: Thanks as always for reading and reviewing!
"Dyad's Blessing, Dyad's Curse"
By EsmeAmelia
Chapter 36
Ben and Rey didn't swap memories during the night, but that did nothing to raise his spirits when he woke. The fact that he could take a real shower instead of getting a sponge bath didn't raise his spirits either; nor did the fact that he could shave by himself instead of the medical droid shaving him. In fact, when he was in the shower he thought about ramming himself against the wall until he broke a bone or two so he would have to stay here longer.
When he emerged from the refresher, there was Renda, holding up his old black shirt and pants, neatly folded. "Here," she said in an awkward voice, "they've been freshly washed and I even patched up the holes."
The holes. Of course he'd never told the doctor – or anyone else, for that matter – about how Rey had run him through with his own lightsaber and then healed him after Leia died. After taking the clothes from Renda, Ben ran his hand over the patches. They were as stark black as the fabric surrounding them and attached with black thread – the only way anyone would even know they were there was if they touched them and felt that they were softer than the rest of the shirt.
There was probably a metaphor somewhere in there about the patches representing his rise out of the dark side, but Ben couldn't think of a good one.
"Ben?" Renda asked.
Ben gulped, concentrating on not letting his body tremble. "Th-thank you." He took a deep breath, looking his doctor in the eye, imagining her running his shirt under a sewing machine or maybe even mending it by hand. That probably wasn't something most doctors did for their patients. "Not just for this, for everything."
Renda smiled at him, though sadness was flowing from her, making him wish it was socially acceptable to hug his doctor. "I still stand by that offer I made earlier to be a character witness for you."
"Maybe," said Ben.
Even though he was sure that no amount of character witnessing would change his fate.
. . .
Now fully-dressed except that he was wearing hospital slippers instead of shoes (apparently his boots had been left on Ajan Kloss), Ben was making slow work of the breakfast tray, savoring every bite of toast and hotcakes and every sip of water. Would they serve toast and hotcakes in prison? Unlikely. Maybe this would be the last time he'd ever eat decent food.
"C-coming with you," D-O said. "I-I'm coming with you today."
Ben couldn't respond. Surely the droid understood what prison was, didn't he? Why was he so insistent about staying with Ben?
All too soon he was finished, leaving nothing except the crusts and remembering how Leia would scold him for not eating his crusts while Han would say don't worry about it since he didn't eat his crusts either. He was contemplating eating the crusts this one time when the medical droid entered with an announcement.
"Ben Solo, you have two visitors: Rey and Chewbacca."
Ben nodded. "Let them in."
Rey and Chewie burst into the room, which caused D-O to give a happy squeal. Chewie started roaring about healthy Ben looked, but Rey just stood there, staring at him with sad eyes.
"Rey? What is it?" Ben asked as soon as Chewie was done ruffling his hair.
Rey blinked at him, her eyes glistening. "They're here. Right outside your room."
Her words settled in his stomach with no need to ask who "they" were. He looked into her hazel eyes that reminded him of his father's and wanted to say something, but what?
Now Chewie was ruffling his hair again. [Ben, you should pay your debt to the galaxy. It's the honorable thing to do.]
Honor. Even before he turned to the dark side, Ben had never seen much point in doing something for the sake of honor. What was honor, anyway? Just a way to feel good about yourself? A way to gain favor with whatever higher beings were out there even though it was obvious that bad stuff was going to happen whether you were honorable or not?
Suddenly Rey threw her arms around him, breathing into his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry I didn't stop this, I should have tried to help you escape during the night or something . . ."
"Rey," Ben interrupted, squeezing her into a tight hug, "don't be sorry." He tried to sound reassuring, but he couldn't stop the waver in his voice. "I-I brought this on myself. I made choices . . . and they have consequences."
"I won't let them kill you!" she promised yet again.
Ben didn't know how to respond to that.
. . .
The next several minutes went by in a blur. Renda gave him a datapad with medical information and instructions stored in it, telling him to continue his exercises to help his muscles keep recovering, though she made no mention of where he would have to continue those exercises. There were more hugs from Chewie and Rey and D-O still insisting that he was going with Ben.
Then finally, the door opened.
There stood Commander Dameron along with that stormtrooper – Finn, Ben corrected himself – surrounded by other Resistance soldiers, all of whom had blasters pointed at him.
"Ben Solo," Dameron announced, "in the name of the Resistance, you are under arrest."
. . .
"Ben! Friend!"
D-O skidded out the door as soon as the group – including his own friend Finn – grabbed Ben and cuffed his wrists. The general Poe was telling Ben that his rights included not having to say anything that would condemn himself and a fair trial by jury, but Ben seemed to hardly be listening. He didn't resist as they led him down the hall, around the stretchers floating by and the patients on hoverchairs, which was making it difficult for D-O to follow, especially since the floor's smooth, polished surface made it easy to slide out of control.
"Friend!" D-O called, wishing his single wheel was faster, wishing the organic beings would help him, but no one even seemed to notice him. "B-Ben! Friend! Coming with you!"
They were at the turbolift now, leading Ben inside. Just a little further, a little further, a little further . . .
The turbolift doors slid closed, leaving the droid to stare upward at the buttons he couldn't reach.
"Friend . . ."