I'm sorry I haven't updated in 2 weeks, it's been crazy with work and school and finding the right way to write this chapter. I hope to get back into a weekly schedule again though!

But sometimes I wonder how you think about it now

And I see your face in every crowd

'Cause darling, it was good

Never looking down

And right there where we stood

Was holy ground

Tonight I'm gonna dance

For all that we've been through

But I don't wanna dance unless I'm dancing with you

Tonight I'm gonna dance

Like you were in this room

But I don't wanna dance unless I'm dancing with you

-"Holy Ground" by Taylor Swift

October 15, 2017

One thing I did over the last year was show any images of Steve I could possibly find to Margaret on a regular basis. I was trying to get her to be used to recognizing him. So far she hadn't gotten it yet, but we did it everyday just like I would read her books to get her familiar with words. I talked out loud to Margaret all the time to help her build her vocabulary. So far it was simple words like mama, no, up.

However, this time when I opened the video as she sat on my lap, she pointed to Steve as soon as he appeared on my screen.

"Dada," she said.

I looked down at her in shock thinking I didn't hear her correctly. "What?" I whispered.

"Dada," she repeated and I let out a laugh.

"Yeah, yes Margaret, yes that's your dada, that's daddy." I encouraged her quickly as I lovingly smoothed some of her blond hair down. "Good job Magaret, you're so smart." I couldn't help the tears form as I felt like a weight was eased off my whole body. She was starting to recognize Steve. She might not understand yet what it means for him to be her dad, but I was just happy that she was recognizing him. I hit play on the video so we could watch and she could hear his voice again. I placed a kiss on the side of her head and then leaned my cheek against her as we watched.

"Maddi," the Steve in the video said in confusion as he looked into the camera. "Maddi, I don't know how this thing works, you gotta help me out. Is it on?" I smiled as I thought back to when Steve accidentally recorded this video on my phone. I had asked him to take a picture of me on the beach during our honeymoon trip he planned for us the previous year. He had a lot more trouble than I anticipated.

"I had it all set up for you, hon. Just press the button at the bottom." I heard my own voice reply and he just kept staring at the screen.

"I pressed the button, but all I see is my own face. This is why you take the pictures, I never know what I'm doing."

"You never know what you're doing because you always make me take all the pictures."

After a few moments as me on the beach walked towards him, I heard my laugh ring out. "Steve, you've been recording your face for the last 40 seconds." Steve let out his own laugh as he looked down in defeat. He looked back at the screen and asked "How do I turn it off. And don't take it away and do it yourself, show me exactly how this works so I don't mess it up next time." The video ended with me pointing at the button to stop it so I could teach him how to get back to taking a photo. His smile remained on the screen as the last frame.

April 2, 2018

I was playing lightly with Margaret's hair as she was playing with her toys on the floor of our living room. Her hair had gotten longer and chaotic over the months. It was a darker blond color that reminded me of Steve's hair. In fact, a lot of her features reminded me of Steve. Not just her hair and bright blue eyes, but also her nose was Steve's. Beyond that, as she started to develop her own little personality, there were times I was given a shock of how similar she was to Steve.

She was smart like Steve, I could tell she was picking up new words everyday and was very emotionally intelligent as well. She could understand your feelings as soon as you felt them, and she just loved giving hugs. She was already a very empathetic girl, her heart was huge. And she had this drive to be daring like Steve, and it often left me flustered in making sure she was safe from harm. She loved playing outside and I always had to watch her to make sure she wouldn't run somewhere she could get hurt. It reminded me of the days I had to make sure Steve stayed out of trouble that was more than he could handle, and when he didn't, I would help patch him up and take care of him. It was very similar to the occasionally scrapes and bruises Margaret acquired from playing.

"Momma, sing the sweet song, please," Margaret's very polite request brought me out of my own thoughts.

"The sweet song?" I asked her with a smile. "Of course."

'The sweet song' was what Margaret called the song I had been singing to her since she was born. I softly sing to her Sweet Child O Mine sometimes before bed, and I'll sometimes play it when I'm playing other music around the house.

"She's got a smile that it seems to me, reminds me of childhood memories, where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky," I started and I could hear her humming along. She was a very child. I took pride in that, considering how much I loved music myself. "Now and then when I see her face, she takes me away to that special place, and if I stare too long, I'd probably break down and cry. Woah oh oh, sweet child o' mine."

"More please," she said when I stopped my singing and I laughed.

"She's got eyes of the bluest skies, as if they thought of rain, I'd hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain. Woah oh oh, sweet child o' mine. Woah oh oh, sweet love o' mine."

"Woah woah woah, sweet sweet of mine," she sang back to me in the most adorable voice, and I planted a big kiss on her cheek. I grabbed my phone and hit play on the song as I stood up. I looked back down at her and held out my hands.

"Would you like to dance, oh sweet love of mine?" I asked her. She placed her little hands in my own, and she giggled as I lifted her up. I held her in my arms as I moved us around the room to the music. She tried her best to sing along to the song, not really knowing most of the words, but she knew the melody. Eventually I placed her back on the floor and she continued to dance on her own. I followed her carefree fun movement until the song was over.

"Does daddy dance?" I smiled at her and then nodded.

"Yeah, yeah daddy loves to dance. I taught him how to dance." Margaret sometimes asked questions about Steve now that she understood who he was. I always loved telling her more about him. "I know he will love dancing with you when he comes home." Once she finally understood who Steve was to her, it was hard for her to understand why he wasn't there. I tried to explain that he was someone very important, and it was his job to protect people like the firefighters in one of her kid's books. I always told her that he loved her very much, that he loved her just as much as I did. I would tell her that he wishes he could come home and when he does he will be so excited to meet her, but we don't know what that will be.

I knew he was coming home. I didn't know when, but I knew he would, so I knew I wasn't lying when I promised Margaret that he would.

A/N: So the version of Sweet Child O Mine that I have in mind for this is very different from the original rock one. It is the version from the movie Captain Fantastic with Viggo Mortensen. It's very folk style of the song, and I just think it is the slower lullaby style that Maddi would sing it to Margaret, and it works with the dancing too. I recommend listening to it, it's actually really good, I sometimes prefer it over the original, depending on my mood.

The Taylor Swift song I used was in reference to the dancing part of this chapter. It just refers to how Maddi reminisces about Steve a lot and it's always in a good way now. Sometimes she would feel nothing but sadness, and now she's got this new hope that is stronger than the sadness. It comes a lot from Margaret. As they dance together, Maddi is dancing for Steve, but she knows she wants to dance with him again. She wants to dance as a family. But for now, she'll dance "for all that [they've] been through."

Last note, as you can probably tell… our timeline is getting very close to Infinity War plot. Right now Margaret is a little over 1.5 years old. I hope you're enjoying it, and I can't wait to give you all the next chapter! Let me know your thoughts or predictions!