CHAPTER 34 - Are we ready?

EPOV

I was freaking out... and fucking nervous. To be honest I don't know how I even suggested Bella moving in this early.

I mean, there were no regrets, but I was scared I'd scare her off... and to add to that, I made it clear that our relationship would be based off of tonight... fuck, I'm such an idiot.

Since it's a formal date - I decided to wear my black suit, with no tie... I wanted this to, help Bella see, that I'm in it for the long haul.

When everything was done and I was ready, I drove myself to Bella's apartment. I really hope we work things out... I love her, and wanted her to know that I would be there no matter what.

I was standing outside her apartment door nervous as fuck, with daisies in my hand, which I had picked up on the way to her place...

I was stalling and I knew it... fuck it, I just rang the bell.

When Bella opened the door, I think I swallowed my tongue... she looked ducking gorgeous and beautiful... and sexy... I could stop looking at her, I couldn't help but feel like tonight's going to be a long night for us... or particularly for me...

Well shit...

"Umm... Edward... hi..." she was blushing. I'm pretty sure she was eyeing me as much as I was doing the same for her. Well I'm fucked.

"Hi Isabella..." I loved the way her name rolled off my tongue and I knew she did too, and tonight I planned on using all of my so called charms, to ensure that everything goes perfectly.

She blushed harder, I could see it spread across her chest and that was the last bit of willpower I possibly had left, anything more than this and I would probably spontaneously combust. As much as I wanted to avert my gaze from her, I couldn't.

She took the flowers from my hands and placed them somewhere, I was speechless because I saw the back of her dress...

You're a dead man Cullen... I'm such an idiot I didn't even say anything.

All of a sudden I was attacked with a kiss, and it was not gentle. It took me a fraction of a second to respond back with the same fervour, but I did.

Bella's hand found purchase in my hair, and when she tugged on it I fucking moaned... she gasped at that, and I took the opportunity, to explore her mouth with my tongue. She seemed as eager as I was and reciprocated. She was the one moaning now.

We were pressed against each other, and I could feel her heart beating like crazy against my chest. The sounds she was making, gave me an ego boost plus the sounds vibrated against us, and it felt amazing.

I'm pretty sure she could feel me hardening, and things were escalating fast.

I was gripping her hips, trying to maintain some amount of restraint... I knew my traitorous hands would start to wander, if I don't stop myself...

So I reluctantly pulled away -

"Edward why..." Bella seemed lost and a bit frustrated.

I kissed her chastely - "because I really want to take you out on this date, before we do something stupid."

"But maybe I want to do something stupid." Bella murmured that part, with a pout.

I looked a bit stunned because I thought we would wait...

Bella's eyes widened at her own words - "I didn't mean it like that Edward. It wouldn't be stupid... but I'm tired of always preparing and planning... we always stop ourselves, and you looking so hot and handsome right now... I don't know what came over me."

"Bella you don't have to apologize. I love that you have a hard time controlling yourself as much as me... however let us finish this date first... and then maybe we can see how things go from there??..."

Bella blushed and nodded. And then she started giggling...

"What happened?" I was curious now.

"I love you Edward... and I love that you are so sweet and amazing." She said between her giggles... "but literally my lipstick is all over your face..." she continued giggling while also cleaning my face with her hands.

"You're one to talk Bella." I smirked at her.

Her mouth was a bit swollen and her eyes were bright and playful from our extremely hot make out session, while her lipstick was smeared as well. She has never looked more beautiful.

She just blushed but didn't say anything. I was thoroughly enamoured by her, and the concentration she was putting on cleaning my face up.

Since her hands were so closed to my lips I couldn't help but give her a quick peck.

"Edward stop distracting me..." she lightly flicked my lip. Her tone was playful but her eyes darkened. When she was done with me, she fixed herself up, pretty quickly and tugged me out.

"My my Bella... anxious are we?!" I told her with a smirk on my face. She was flustered for a minute before replying-

"Yes I am... because I would love to explore, what we were doing just a few minutes ago..." her voice was lower and sexy. She was playing a dangerous game and she knew it.

She laughed at the expression on my face.

"C'mon lover boy... you were the one that said you wanted to go on this date and do it properly."

"I definitely want to do it properly..." I knew she caught the innuendo, but I was just playing her game.

She blushed and shook her head at me, playfully.

We never really explored this side of us. I loved it, not that there was any doubt, that I wouldn't love any side of her. But ever since she opened the door, we have been flirting, playful and she was open and carefree.

I love that she's happy. I loved that I made her feel that way... I just plain loved her. I hope I could always make her feel this way.

There was also an insane amount of tension and electricity between us, it was always there before, but tonight... it was more.

Our drive to the fancy restaurant, was filled with innuendos and playful banter. There was always something I was learning about Bella, and it always made me happy.

When we finally were seated at the table and had placed our orders, we started talking -

"Bella... I realize that I'm a fucking idiot, because I have failed to tell you how absolutely breathtaking and stunning you look tonight..." Bella blushed -

"Thank you Edward... I did however tell you that you look so handsome... I don't think we can make it through this date."

She was bold tonight. I'm screwed...

The rest of the dinner was relatively same... I got to see this different side of Bella. We also did broach the subject of her moving in -

"Bella... I don't want to rush you or even pressure you into this - I suggested this.. to help you... admittedly I would also love being able to see you everyday. I am willing to take things at your pace." I placed my hand over hers, giving it a gentle squeeze, hopefully to reassure her.

"I'm not scared of that Edward...I have a feeling being with you would be as easy as breathing... I know you think I'm crazy, but my fears will always be present no matter what, especially after Riley... but honestly I've never felt this alive... Tonight - just talking and vibing... and even flirting felt or rather feels so natural. I realize I'm the one that's been holding us back... I want more, Edward... so let's see how tonight continues, and then maybe by tomorrow or the day after I will have a proper answer..."

I knew she was scared... I was equally scared of scaring her... but I've also never been as sure as I am right now.

After that slightly more intense topic, we went back to laughing and flirting. Bella opened up so much more about her dreams and goals... she was so happy and proud of her progress, and her being happy made me happy... as cheesy as that sounds.

We headed back to the car. Once we were seated I asked -

"Bella, you ready to head back home? Or do you want to walk around this beautiful beach I know, that's not too far from here?" It would be my grand romantic gesture of sorts.

"No Edward... to both... I was hoping we could go to your place?.." her blush deepened.

Oh ok... that makes -

Wait... does she mean what I think she means?? Fuck fuck fuck fuck...!!!! My fists clenched on the steering wheel...

I was stunned and nervous all of a sudden... I mean we've been flirting and throwing around innuendos... but I didn't think we were ready yet... I mean hesitancy was one thing, but rushing into something and regretting it was another...

Of all things I didn't expect her to say that. Were we actually ready? was she really ready?

A/N:

Is Bella really ready to take this step?

Hope you enjoyed this chapter!