Huge thanks to everyone who leaves me lovely comments. This will be one of my shorter chapters...Thank you to Lise for keeping me excited about this story bc I'm not gonna lie, I hit a slump with it a short while ago and wasn't sure i'd be able to pick it back up again, but here we are and I'm writing as a wind down to all the other bloody things Ive got going on. I am sick at the moment so in bed with my computer tapping away. What do you think of how things are progressing? Any idea what's in store for Liv & Trev? :) Please keep your reviews coming, I love logging in after I update to read them!

The phone calls began on Monday morning when they made their way back from Connecticut. Trevor had Olivia check to see who was calling. CPS had left a message.

"Why don't you pull over and call back," Olivia suggested knowing that it was going to play on his mind. She knew that he wasn't going to want to take the call with Eloise or Noah listening in.

He nodded, serious and a little preoccupied. "Actually we can switch if you like, I'll drive and you can make your phone calls."

"No, its okay, as far as I'm concerned we're still on holidays, but … I think I do need to take this call." He pulled over and Olivia asked the children to be patient while she got out with him. They leaned side by side against the car. Trevor put his arm around Olivia while he pressed the call back button.

"Hi," he said after a few moments, "It's Trevor Langan here, I had a missed call from Rita Preston regarding a case concerning my daughter." Olivia listened to the woman on the other line asking him to hold a moment.

"It'll be okay no matter the outcome," Olivia tried to console him.

"Thanks," he murmured, resting his cheek on the top of her head, drawing her closer.

"Hi Mr. Langan it's Rita speaking, how are you?" the to-the-point voice greeted him.

"Fine thanks, I was just wondering if there's been an outcome yet."

"Yes Mr. Langan, I can't go in to any great detail, but are you willing to take on the sole custody of your daughter until the court grants a date for an emergency intervention?"

"Yes of course," he replied.

"We will need to do a home visit to evaluate the living condition and ensure that your home is a safe and stable place for your daughter to stay, is that going to be a problem?"

"No, not at all," he said quickly. His jaw was slack – he had hoped he'd been exaggerating his feelings about the state of his old home when he turned up to pick his daughter up.

"Are you able to provide adequate care for your daughter when you are working?"

"Yes," he replied, "I have a nanny," he blurted out without thinking, looking at Olivia for help. "And the other days she will be looked after by my sister and there's daycare too."

"Its okay," she mouthed.

"Very well Mr. Langan, CPS will send you an automated text message with a time for an inspection – these dates are very hard to change, so please let us know if there's a problem but we do encourage you to be available."

"I'll be available," he replied with certainty. "Thank you Rita, I appreciate it."

"No problem Mr. Langan we will be in touch."

He hung up the phone and stared at Olivia, a little stunned. "Fuck…" he muttered.

"Are you okay?" she asked him, understanding that he had a varying number of feelings about it all.

He didn't say anything, he turned to face her and pulled her against him, hugging her tightly. She knew there were no words to comfort him. He would have felt relieved but guilty as well. She knew he still cared for the welfare of his ex and she took no issue with it, but he carried a lot of the responsibility of the actions that he had nothing to do with.

She wished there was some way of helping him unburden the guilt, but she had to ride it out with him.

"I'm here for you, for whatever you need. I'll call Lucy while we are in the car and see what she can help us with," she suggested as he loosened his embrace.

"Thanks baby," he sighed heavily. "Okay, we still have the day to just … ignore everything and enjoy our day."

"Its okay if we don't ignore it Trev, but it's a good thing that Eloise is going to be in a safe space. I will help out where I can, okay? And talk to your boss, let her know what's going on."

He nodded. He kissed her forehead. "Thanks Liv."

They broke apart and got back in to the car to head back to the city.

Trevor was so grateful to Olivia for organizing Lucy and for giving him the emotional support that he needed. They'd spent the week leading up to his court hearing together at his house. Noah had been excited and Olivia had framed it like an extended holiday, stopping most days by her apartment to bring more toys to entertain him.

The day before the inspection, she came over and helped him childproof the things that he didn't necessarily think too much about, ordinarily.

Lucy took the kids to the park while together they put up a childproof gate at both the top and the bottom of the stairs and locks on the cupboard in the kitchen that held all of his cleaning products including the bleach he used for cleaning the sink.

Liv helped him tidy the house but not too much that it didn't look lived in. And it did, it was crazy how in just a week his house went from pristine to chaotic with two kids and his girlfriend.

"Thanks for doing all this," he thanked her as they finished up drilling the last lock in to place.

She smiled at him. "Do you think I have a better way to spend my Sunday?"

"Sleeping, isn't that what you do on a Sunday?" he teased her.

"Yes but I love you so I'm willing to forego my Sunday sleep to help you where needed," she replied, "but of course if you want me to leave and go home to bed, I'll be happy to do that."

"No," he replied with a little laugh, "no, I want you to stay very much." He pressed his lips against hers as if to prove just how much.

They headed downstairs and Trevor put away the hammer and the drill in the garage while Olivia took out a left over salad from dinner the night before and began to pick at it, hungry.

He came back in looking at his phone, distracted. He hit a few buttons and then lifted the phone to his ear, his face set in stone, angry.

"Hi it's Trevor," he told the other person on the line. He made a face as Olivia heard a voice sounding like they were telling him off.

"No-" he paused, drawing in a deep breath, he was interrupted, "No, stop," he said, the voice on the other line kept going, "Stop!" he said firmly, "don't you dare call me and yell at me," he commanded with irate, "you don't even know what's going on!" Olivia stared at him quizzically.

There was some silence, "your daughter left my three-year-old unattended for hours in the damn house while she was locked in her bedroom high as a fucking kite. The house was squalor, Eloise smelled like fucking garbage and I am done, Mira, I am done cleaning up all of Helena's shit sandwiches. I have a daughter and she's my priority. I am not trying to get revenge, I am not trying to be anything but a good father. If I left Eloise in that mess of a house who knows what could have happened," he was aware he was ranting but he was furious.

He felt bad for cursing in over the phone at Helena's emotional mother.

"I don't know what to do with her, Trevor…" she said after some silence, breaking down. "What do I do?"

"I don't know," his voice retreated, "I don't know that I can help anymore. I gave her everything I could to help her fix the problem. Helena and I have been getting on so well this past year and she was excited to meet my girlfriend but … she was awful to her and threatened to take Elly away from me, I knew something was up…"

"It shook her, seeing you with someone else."

"Trust me, Mira, it wasn't a fucking walk in the park to meet her boyfriend just weeks after she left me – and then to find out she'd been with him all along, but I let it go, because I didn't want that bitterness for Eloise – and this is… this is beyond my control and Eloise has to be number one here. I have to just step away."

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," she replied, defeated.

"Its okay," he breathed a sigh, "believe it or not, this is hard for me too. I'm worried she'll do something stupid, but the only way she is going to see Eloise or get any sort of joint custody back is if she does a 180, I can't allow her much else –its breaking my heart because El asks about her every single morning and every single night."

"Rehab…." Mira suggested as if it were a fully constructed sentence.

"Yes," Trevor replied.

"If I find her somewhere… would you…"

He knew what was coming, he knew that there was no way Helena's family could afford to send her. He wanted desperately to say no, but he wanted her to get well for his daughter.

"On the condition that she is going on her own free will and not because she is forced," he replied, "she has to be fully committed to the idea," he agreed, "because I can't keep throwing money at a problem that she doesn't see that she has and it will be the last time, Mira, I can't keep this up."

"Thank you Trevor, thank you."

"Mommy," Noah asked on the way home from school – a rare moment that she had to spend with her son one-on-one. "Are we living with Trevor now?" he asked her curiously as they waited at the curbside for the walk signal to turn so they could cross.

Olivia smiled to herself. They'd barely been home since their visit to Connecticut.

"I don't know honey, it feels like it, doesn't it?" she asked.

He nodded. "Do you like being at Trevor's house with him and Eloise?" she wondered.

"Yeah, it's a nice big place and my room is big too but I miss my stuff," he admitted. "my toys and my clothes and my Toy Story blankets."

She smiled. "Well, if you like we can have a night at home, just the two of us…. It's up to you."

"But if we stay at our place then Trevor won't be able to read me a bed time story with you…"

She chuckled, "It's a big decision… maybe soon we'll take all of our stuff to Trevor's what do you think about that?" she asked him.

"Mmmm does that mean Trevor will be my Dad and I'll live with a Mom and a Dad?"

"No babe, it means Trevor will still be your friend and I'll be your Mommy and Eloise will be your friend too. I know its hard to understand but when you get a little older it'll make sense."

"Okay," he accepted it, "how come you didn't work today?" he wondered "are we going back to Trevor's?"

"I did work, but I am picking you up from school and then we are going to pick Elly up from daycare and then we're going home to Trevor's house and you're both going to stay with Lucy while Trevor and I go out for a little while."

"I like Trevor's house but I like our house too… if we lived with Trevor would we still have our house."

"We might not live there anymore, but we could move back at any time if either one of us decided we were unhappy…" she informed him.

"Would all of my things go to Trevor's house? Would Eloise be there all the time too?"

Olivia nodded. "Yes honey but you and I would still have some time just for us, not always the four of us… and all you need to do is tell me if you feel unhappy or you don't like the change."

"I think I would love to have a sister and a da- a Trevor," he corrected himself.

Olivia smiled to herself. "Okay, well, its not happening yet, but I am thinking that Trevor might ask us sometime soon and when he does, I need to know what to tell him."

"Tell him yes," Noah told her with a smile. "I love Trevor so much Mommy and I like to see you smiling all the time."

Olivia leaned over and kissed her son on the forehead. "I love watching you have a friend to play with every day and a …" Olivia almost heard herself say father, but she stopped just in time, "a Trevor to hang out with and play ball with."

"Can I come with you and Trevor tonight?" he wondered.

"No babe, this is something that only big people can do," she explained, thinking about the romantic date Trevor had promised her, "but we'll bring back a fun dinner."

"Thanks for coming Liv, this means a lot to me…" his voice trailed off. "I dunno how its going to go or how Helena is going to receive me..."

"Its alright," she replied as they walked in to the rehabilitation facility center. It was private and expensive and Trevor knew that if Helena was committing herself to the best of health, she could possibly kick her addiction.

He and Olivia signed in as visitors. Trevor lingered outside of the door of Helena's room. Olivia gave him a hug. She kissed his cheek. "Good luck, sweetheart."

She took a seat outside of the door and watched him take a deep breath and let it out. He opened the door and let himself inside.

"Its me, Trevor…" he called as he walked in to the room, closing the door behind him, turning a short corner to meet with his ex who laid in bed like an actual sick patient. Her covers were pulled high around her.

"Why are you here…" she muttered, "to rub it in?" her voice was raw and scratchy.

"No of course not," he replied, feeling his heart fill with compassion for her. He knew an addiction wasn't anything anyone wanted to deal with. He knew that only circumstance led her to the path she was on – and moments of weakness and her feelings of uselessness. "I wanted to see how you were doing – honestly, I was worried."

Helena stared at the wall. "I'm here, I agreed…"

He took a seat on the edge of a plastic chair beside her bed. "I want you to get well for Eloise," he said firmly. "She needs you."

"She has you and Olivia now," Helena replied, realizing she was being petulant and stupid, but she couldn't get over the shame of Trevor once again saving her when her fiancé had split at the first sign of struggle.

He didn't even consider that Helena was trying to make a bitter attack on the both of them, but was rather stating a fact – Eloise could rely on Olivia and himself.

Olivia had been perfectly nice to her, even nicer to her daughter and Helena recognized how wrong she had been on the afternoon of their meeting. She remembered watching Trevor's girlfriend with jealousy, observing the interaction between Olivia and her son had been enough to make her understand how close they were and what a good Mom she was.

Better than she could ever be.

"Olivia is not looking to be Eloise's Mom. We both want you to be well for her. She's not judging you, nor am I, I promise."

"Sorry," Helena responded, "I don't mean to be rude about Olivia, I'm glad she's making you happy, you deserve it…" her voice trailed off and Trevor sensed some regret in her tone but he said nothing.

He let her words hang in the air as he looked around the white, baron room. He knew she had already passed the first two weeks of detoxing, it was the only reason she was allowed to have visitors.

"Is Eloise here?" she asked him. He could see the tears rolling down her cheeks.

He stood up and made his way closer sitting on her bed, resting his hand on her shoulder. "No, I'm sorry, Len, it's just Olivia with me … for support, I wasn't sure if you would be well enough to see Eloise, but I am happy to bring her in next time. She misses you."

"Don't bring her in," she said quickly, "this is not the place for her, if you bring her in its just going to disrupt her more and I don't want her to remember me like this," she murmured sniffing. "It'll be distressing for her."

"Okay, but you need to just tell me if you want to see her, I will never keep her from you, Len, I swear…" he said softly, wanting her to know that it was more important to him for Eloise to have her mother than to wonder where she was.

He watched another tear escape her eye and he felt pain for her. He knew if she had a choice in her right mind, this would have never been the path she wanted to take.

"I hate it that you're seeing me like this again, I don't deserve any of this, I'm such a fucking disappointment," she stopped paying attention to her tears, letting them fall freely.

"At least you're here," he replied. He was torn between wanting to comfort her and wanting to say nothing because he agreed. He knew her struggles were beyond his understanding and even when they were married, he figured that there were parts of her wound up so tightly that no matter how hard he tried, he could never unspool.

"Remember … when she was born..." Helena dared to look at him, ignoring her own tears.

He nodded – it'd been hard times, Helena struggled to cope, her mother stepped in and helped where he couldn't. He still held guilt over not being there enough, she had racked up a number of debts that he'd found out about right before she gave birth. Because of the debts, there was a great disconnect due to his anger, but on the times that he did try, she did nothing but push him away or tell him that everything he was doing was wrong.

If maybe he pushed a little harder, he thought. If only he didn't use work to push away the pain he felt over his failing marriage and his inept fatherhood. He would have given back all of the money he made just to have been present more and to have had Helena allow him to be more involved.

When he held her in his arms he wasn't holding her right. When she finally nursed from a bottle, he wasn't mixing the formula right, holding the bottle right, bathing her correctly – it was too hard, it was easier to not upset her.

"I was using for months while feeding her and I thought nothing of it. I told you she had colic when she was actually going through withdrawals," she admitted.

Trevor felt his mouth go dry and he willed himself not to react. He remembered the fights, the sleepless nights, the screaming and crying as their little girl made great use of her lungs. He researched colic every single fucking day to try to come up with a plan to help her.

But still, she pushed him away and his help and advice and offers to relieve her of her motherly duties to sleep was continually rebuffed.

"You have every right to be mad," Helena said in a barely audible whisper, noticing his expression change – she knew the face that he made when he was angry, even when he thought he was hiding it. "I know you never wanted a child, you gave me a baby because you thought it might make me more responsible and something to focus on…"

"No," he said quickly, "No, I gave you a baby because I wanted a baby too. I wanted to have a family. I never ever regret having a baby with you. I regret that things didn't work out as they should have and I regret that instead of holding us together, it tore us apart," he replied firmly. "And I regret that it caused you so much struggle, that you hurt her without much regard."

Helena looked away from him shamefully. She knew she deserved it. "I was never a good mother to her, I said and did all the things I thought I was supposed to but I couldn't even keep my shit together despite how much I loved her or you." He didn't know what to say. "I know I did some seriously shitty things to you Trevor, but I need you to know that I loved you despite it, a lot of it was my addiction, trying to fill up this … black hole and it just never goes away no matter what I do."

"I know," he replied – his voice choked with emotion. He hated to see her so subdued – so unlike herself, but raw and more vulnerable and yet more like herself than he'd ever witnessed.

"You said Olivia is here… can I see her?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea, Len…" he replied gently, he didn't want to subject Olivia to her vitriol if she turned again.

"Please, I just want to talk to her about Eloise; I want to say to her the things I should have said when we met… I didn't set out to be such a piece of shit to her Trevor, I was just afraid and nervous to see you with someone, I used and by the time I saw you both that day I was down and agitated and just… aggressive."

"Okay," he said slowly, "I will ask her if she would like to come in, but … Helena, Olivia isn't the enemy."

"I know," she said quietly.

Trevor got up reluctantly and headed out to the hall.

"How'd you go?" Olivia asked, looking up as he shut the door behind him. She noticed his red-rimmed eyes.

He took a seat beside her and took her hand. He breathed in a deeply and let it go. "She would like to talk to you if that's okay, I understand if you're not interested but… she's just.. a little destitute and I don't think she is looking to be rude or nasty."

"Its okay," Olivia gave him her best smile. "I don't mind, I have handled far worse aggression than your ex wife, Trev, it'll be okay." She lifted his hand and kissed his palm. "Are you okay?"

"Not really… but I'm still processing all of this… it might seem stupid, we've been juggling work, kids, this for a couple of weeks now but it still feels ... unsettled," he admitted.

"Because there's no end in sight to what we're going through," Olivia told him. He liked that she referred to his problems and burdens as theirs. It comforted him to know that she wasn't allowing him to carry it on his own.

She let go of his hand and slipped her arms around his chest and hugged him. She felt his body relax against her, reciprocating her embrace. She gave him a squeeze as she pulled away. "C'mon, let's see what she has to say."

Trevor opened the door and motioned for Olivia to step in. She walked in and found the small mousey woman she'd met a little while earlier sitting in her large bed. She seemed so small and frail that the largeness of the bed seemed to dwarf her.

Olivia gave her a wave and a weak smile. It was a little awkward. She could tell that Helena had been crying.

"Thanks for coming in," she cleared her throat, pushing the words out. Trevor's partner seemed casual and comfortable with him and unfazed by the hospital-like room.

"Of course," Olivia replied.

Helena glanced at Trevor, "Can I speak to Olivia privately?" she asked. Trevor went to protest but Olivia held up her hand.

"Its okay Trevor, we'll be fine," she gave him a reassuring smile. "Why don't you get me a coffee or something?" she suggested.

"Okay," he gave a long glance at Helena, almost warning her to not be rude to her.

Once he let himself out, the room became a little more awkward and Olivia wasn't sure what was about to happen. She expected it could go either way.

"Olivia, I am very sorry for the way I spoke to you and about you when we met…" she started. Her tone was even, it held no emotion and if she wasn't tearing up with her eyes spilling over, Olivia would have considered her tone to be almost robotic.

"Its okay," she replied with a smile, "I kind of understand, us Mom's get fierce when someone new is going to be around our kids."

"I was high," she blurted out, "actually, I was crashing and unfortunately Trevor had cut me off and I had no means to use so I was agitated and I'm so sorry for what you had to witness. I'm ashamed of the way I conducted myself."

Olivia was surprised but welcoming of her apology. She took a seat by her bed. "Helena, please don't worry about any of that, it's fine, I forgive you."

"How is Eloise?" she asked Olivia, wiping her cheeks with the backs of her hands. "Is Trevor disciplining her?"

A smile briefly made its way across Olivia's mouth as she nodded. "He can be a bit lax if I'm honest, but I don't blame him, your daughter has the most incredible eyes and she's very hard to say no to."

Helena gave a sob and Olivia felt awful. "I'm sorry," she said quickly.

She shook her head. "No, its okay," Helena replied, covering her mouth, choking back more tears. "its okay, I'm glad—" she paused to try to compose herself. "I'm sorry," Helena's voice cracked, "I just feel… like I've failed her and I don't even trust myself to make it out of here and continue on."

"You're only starting your program, Helena, you might feel differently in 40 days."

She shook her head and looked in to her own palms as if they had the answers. "I haven't recovered the last 4 times, I'm not strong like Trevor," she admitted. She sniffed and looked up. "I need you to know how much I love my daughter," she told Olivia as if she might have disputed it.

"I know you do, Eloise is very well-adjusted, Helena, she's a happy little girl and she is so clever. I know that is a testament to you, Trevor, by his own admission was at work a lot, you were with her being a great Mom, I would never think otherwise and I doubt Eloise would either."

"I can't imagine what she will think when she grows up and she finds out about what a disappointment her mother was… she's better off with you as a mother," Helena told her. "Trevor taking her is the kindest thing he can do for her."

Olivia understood her shame – it was similar to how her mother behaved when she was trying to go cold turkey – thinking about what she had caused, the behaviors she had presented and sometimes rethinking her role in Olivia's life. Sometimes she found it emotionally manipulative, but she was far enough removed from Helena's life to not have to play in to it.

"I think Eloise needs her Mom as much as she needs her Dad, so its your job to just keep trying, Helena and you know Trevor is always going to support you… we both will."

"I did some research on you, Olivia, I know that makes me sound like a stalker but… you're the real deal. I know you'll be good for Trevor and he deserves someone to be good to his heart after what I put him through and … please promise me that you'll love Eloise unconditionally. She's … so sensitive and sweet and…." She became choked up again, "I just need to know you'll be good to her."

"Helena," she started delicately, "are you having suicidal thoughts?" she asked her, given the nature of the way the conversation was headed and from her own experience with victims, she didn't like the tone of it all.

"No," she wept, "I just don't know how long it's going to be until I am comfortable with Eloise seeing me, I need you to be there for her in the meantime."

Olivia nodded slowly, "I promise I'll be good to your daughter and I'll love her unconditionally… I already do, she already has my heart, Helena."

Helena managed a smile, wiping her eyes. "Good…" she nodded.

Trevor came back in, holding a small cup of coffee, relieved to see that they were both still civil. "Here you go…" he passed her the cup. Olivia took it and placed it on the bedside table for a moment.

"I think I need to be on my own..." Helena told them both.

"Okay," Trevor agreed, not really wanting to stick around after the admissions she made. He was angry and rightfully so and needed time to get past it. Olivia stood up and made her way closer to Helena.

"We all want you to get through this, Helena, Eloise needs it, do it for her. Give her more reasons to feel proud and she will never have reason to feel disappointed. I know that from personal experience."

Helena locked eyes with her for a moment, trying to determine what she meant. "My mother was an addict," she added, "and you have to fight regardless of how hard it feels."

"I just want Eloise to be in safe hands," Helena replied, "that's all I want… I want it to be my hands, but I don't know if I can get past this."

"Bullshit," Trevor said, his voice cutting through their mother-to-mother moment. "There is nothing more important than our daughter and you need to put your own … whatever it is aside, Helena and you have to do it because there is no other choice, she is your daughter and she needs a mother."

Tears began to flood her face. "Give her a hug and a kiss from me and tell her how much I love her," was all she was able to reply with. Olivia nodded, agreeing. She picked up her coffee and wished her the best. She made her way out, a little frustrated with Trevor, but she knew it wasn't her place.

He followed her out, not able to bother himself to do much else than offer a goodbye over his shoulder.

Trevor didn't say much until they got to the car. Olivia nursed the coffee that made her feel a little queasy. "How are you going?" she asked him, "you're very quiet."

"Processing, angry, sad, all of it…" he sighed. "You wanna know something fucked up?" he began.

Olivia didn't answer, she just glanced at him expectantly. "When El was an infant, for around 5 months she had colic… it was so bad at home. Helena never seemed to sleep. El screamed and screamed and fucking screamed and Helena was losing her mind and I couldn't do much because I was scrambling for work… I tried to help, but everything I did was wrong and I stayed up late night after …" he paused, becoming overwhelmed with emotion, "fucking night… trying to find a cure but all they did was assure me El would grow out of it…"

Olivia nodded. "Colic is awful."

"She didn't even fucking have colic!" he exploded with rage. "She was fucking suffering withdrawals from whatever the fuck Helena was taking previous to giving birth and then continuing to use while nursing."

"Oh, Trev… how did you find out?" she asked, trying to keep an even tone, not to set him off.

"She told me just before I came out to get you…I just feel so fucking stupid about the whole marriage. I'm done. I'll pay for her rehab but she's never getting custody of Eloise again."

"I'm really sorry."

He sighed again, trying not to be mad. "Sorry Liv," he murmured quietly, "this is a lot, I don't mean to burden you with it."

"Trevor, don't apologize, babe, its fine."

A comfortable silence fell between them and Olivia turned up his playlist and rested her head back.

She woke up less than half an hour later – she was so exhausted. She'd had a big week at work and running around after a 3 year old had proven to be every bit as tiring as she remembered it to be.

Once home, they greeted the kids and organized dinner. Lucy sometimes stayed the night in the guest room and had given up her other casual positions to take up a full time role shifting between Eloise and Noah and everyone seemed happy with the arrangement.

She took the kids upstairs for bath time and to play for a short while before she left.

"Baby," Trevor began, handing her a glass of wine over the kitchen counter. "I wanted to talk to you about something…" he began.

"Of course…" Olivia replied, looking up from her phone, locking it and sliding it aside, giving him her undivided attention. He held on to his glass of whisky and came to her side and took a seat beside her on the stool. "What's up?"

He took a sip of his whisky and set it down. He smiled at her, "I'm a bit nervous to be truthful," he laughed, trying to ease his own tension. "Okay fuck it," he said, "I know you might need to think about this and I understand that completely, but … how do you feel about making things a little more official – how would you feel about moving in with Noah?"

Olivia stared at him for a moment and took a slow, deliberate sip of her wine. He stared at her expectantly. He was waiting for a no. She gave him a smile. "Noah and I talked about this late last week," she told him.

"Yeah? I figured you might need some time to discuss it with him, but I just thought… we've been basically living together for a month, the only thing that's missing is all of Noah's toys and belongings and … yours…"

She reached for his hand and slid her fingers between his. "I really want us to work, I want us to make this next step together, I think it's good for the kids, good for us… it's just a formality right?"

"Right…" he smiled, glancing at how perfectly her hand fit in his. "but us together is more than a formality… this is another commitment step toward our future."

She nodded slowly. "Well, maybe we should officially bring it up with the kids when we put them to bed, Eloise has to be happy with it too."

"Eloise is happy with her Livvy being here, don't you worry about that." He gave her hand a squeeze and kissed the back of it.

Olivia was tired and she was even more tired of looking over the case notes with Fin and Elliot.

"There's only so many phone numbers I can look at," she announced, taking off her glasses and blinking at the two men sharing the table with her.

"Why don't you take a break…" Fin suggested, "clearly your man wants to hear from you…"

Olivia laughed, glancing down at Trevor's name appearing dozens of times by text and two missed calls. They had an understanding that work was too demanding to spend all their time texting one another, but she promised herself she would get through the paperwork first.

She breathed in a deep breath and pulled her hair behind her head gathering it together to tie in to a ponytail.

"Whoa…. What is that?" Elliot stared at Olivia. She looked back at him, confused as she tied her hair up.

Fin began to laugh, "Now I seen it all…" he chuckled to himself shaking his head.

"What?" Olivia asked, self-consciously.

Even Elliot couldn't hold back his laughter and he realized how good it felt to just let go of the years of pent up feelings for her. The two men snickered to themselves.

"What the fuck are you both laughing at?" she asked, offended that no one was letting her in on the joke.

"You should probably take your hair back down, that giant love bite on your neck isn't a great look, probably takes away some of your credibility," Elliot winked.

Olivia clapped her hand against her neck. "Fuck! Seriously? How did I not see that?"

"Maybe you're losing your touch for details, Detective," Elliot teased her. He had felt a shift when he and Trevor had spoken almost a month earlier when they'd caught the three year old's kidnapper. He accepted Olivia was with someone else and more than anything, he just wanted to get their friendship back – and perhaps let it be a healthier one than it had ever been.

Upon reevaluating his own life, he knew that despite whatever he felt for Olivia he was no where near ready for another relationship any time soon – if at all.

Olivia's face reddened with embarrassment. "Kinda hard to miss," Fin added.

"Fuck you guys," she said, pushing her chair back, laughing with embarrassment. She picked up her phone and needed to have strong words with Trevor about leaving his marks all over her. He found it funny, but it wasn't professional and it was too hard to cover with make up.

She closed her office door behind her and was about to open her messages when Trevor began to call again. "Hey babe," she greeted him.

"Liv…" his voice was steady but he did not sound okay. "Thank God you answered—" she heard his voice break.

"Trevor, what's wrong?" she asked softly, realizing something was off.

"I need you…" he whispered, "I'm sorry…" he cleared his throat, "It's Helena… she's …" he paused and a sob escaped the back of his throat, "she's gone."

"Gone where?" Liv asked firmly, trying to get as many facts as possible from him.

"She…she took her life last night."