Author's note (this is all one massive author's note): Terry here. Hey! Thank you to all of my dear readers for making it all the way here. Or did you skip here looking for the story? It's one chapter back—this will just be an author's mindless rambling and personal notes—well, with better punctuation and grammar and general readability than my real notes—and a little insight behind the scenes. It's still messy.
All the way back to the start. I was originally happy with around 5000 words per chapter, but it naturally went up on its own the more I wrote. Chapter 20 was where I officially resolved to up my game and try sticking to a minimum 7500 benchmark. Maybe I'll merge the original Chapters 1 and 2, extend 3, possibly even slip in a prologue for Morgan? Ah, but that could only raise more questions… and I might have to go back and edit it to conform with when I finally come full circle to how she got there.
I make a point of not transcripting in-game dialogue one for one when I can help it. Maybe supports or side bits just to get things flowing, but odds are you already know the main game's Gangrel arc cutscenes by heart, if not word for word. Perhaps I should go back and put in some of the dialogue I excluded… not too much if I do, though.
Is it just me, or do people really have this thing about the idea of Grima with tattoos? Patterns around his eyes to emulate the Mark, or the like. There's also lots of artwork of Grima (Robin, Fell Vessel, whatever, unfortunately there's way less art focusing on the dragon than the human, we can practically assume all Grimas are Robin unless otherwise stated) with six wings of energy, or even real wings. It seems like it has to do with his Heroes artwork. I considered tinkering with those ideas for Change of Heart, but I feel they're a bit on the nose for now.
I used to think Chapter 13 was a pretty big step up in terms of fight scenes. Rather, it's pretty lackluster after the latest scenes! Or maybe that's how I'll always feel about anything I didn't write in the past week… ah, such is life. If any scenes are due for a rewrite in the distant future, it'd have to be 3's Robin/Grima encounter and 13's forest fight. I could stand to redo all of them, really, but then I'll never get anything done again.
Between gameplay and cutscenes, I think I wound up leaning more towards the latter for how I interpreted Awakening. The concepts of promotion seals and reclassing simply slipped away in the process of keeping things grounded… and coincidentally turned out to find a nice parallel with the Three Houses interpretation of classes! No, I didn't play that either. Yes, I'm sorry. I only really know the GBA-era and Awakening. I'll play it soon.
But yeah, keeping it grounded. It's a sliding scale, of course. Overall, the maneuvers try not to be wildly unrealistic… except the villains, who get to be as anime as I want them to be. Most units keep aspects of their animations' flair from the game, though Grima's an oddball in that sense. Strategies and gambits are everywhere, but in the end one of the most horrendously powerful forces in any fight is also the simplest: which side has more people on it? Wait, that sounds way too drab. How about, two pieces in chess never fight in a void? Yeah, that sounds good.
Ahhh… Chapter 16. This was a huge turning point, for the story and for my direction. Chapters 16 through 26 used to be just Chapters 16 through 18 (yes, eleven compressed into three!) until I slowed down and fleshed it out more. Some scenes were scrapped, retooled, and whatnot—but most of the scrapped things came back in another form. There's a lot more new than scrapped now. This was also when I settled on a colder Grima. Pre-edit Chapters 8 to 15 were also adjusted to fit his icier attitude—most things the same, but Grima doesn't bother comforting Morgan with words or actions like he did before. Their discussion in Thabes became way more manipulative. I'm sorry, Morgan… your bullying is part of showing every aspect I can. Incidentally, Grima was originally meant to have his fistfight with Chrom in the Midmire as a showcase of his ability to manipulate him… but when the time came around, he was obviously in no shape to do it.
Chapters 16 through 18 plus 23 were difficult chapters to write, as was 34, but the end result was satisfying. Man… I need to spend more time studying the Awakening script and supports. And more and more and more drafting.
Chapters 19 and 20, the Border Wastes… you know how to make any fight instantly cooler? Set it on fire. Originally, Grima was meant to be there for Gangrel's defeat. I already wrote it unposted just before the big Chapter 16 shift. It was much shorter too, only from Gangrel's perspective, but then I went back and fleshed out everything the Shepherds were actually doing. Grima got swapped for Morgan along the way so she had a chance to follow in his footsteps, and it naturally flowed into the theme of pain from there.
In Chapter 23, Grima describes his Chapter 10 dream to Morgan verbatim. It originally ended with just a happy reconciliation… but no. I have to take a hammer to them a couple more times before that's allowed. These "wholesome" moments do still have those undertones I was shooting for, right?
At first, Owain was slated to join en route to the manor, and there would've been an incredible scene where Grima recruited him by… going along with his stupid fantasy world. Yes, really. You can see why it's scrapped.
Do people pull up the same music as me? In truth, I had Archnemesis on for writing every Porcus scene, but I think we've heard enough of that. I have other songs lined up in the future, I promise.
That fountain scene in Chapter 32 takes from Harvest Scramble! I realized on rereading that Grima in this scene is actually very opaque, enough to interpret in a couple different ways.
Chapter 33… I really had fun with this one. I need to stop setting things on fire, but man… setting things on fire is always a great way to ramp it up. It's worth noting that Porcus is explicitly going for the kill, but prioritizes Lucina when it can get away with it. Some scrapped plans for Lucina's group to win included snagging Porcus with an anchor line, dropping the anchor, and dragging it overboard. I wound up reading a couple textbooks about the Age of Sail trying to find a way to make that work! There was also the idea of Lucina's group deliberately destroying their boat themselves, but those strategies just scream Morgan. What I settled on felt much more in line with Lucina's major themes.
I wish I could talk about Grima and Morgan at length—but then there's the old maxim of showing versus telling. Oh, what the hell, this space is for my notes. Certainly, their bond isn't ordinary. I just hope I've gotten it across that as nice as it initially looks, something's lurking under the waterline.
This is absolutely a pointless aside, but I might as well put it here. In Japanese, Morgan usually refers to Robin as "tou-san." I'd imagine between this Morgan and Grima, she'd use the much more respectful "otou-sama" (incidentally, Lucina refers to Chrom like this). Yes, I'm a filthy weeb. I'm sorry. I won't talk about it again.
Another side note, I've heard the European robin is a vicious bird for its size and has a habit of killing their own species over territory. I've been thinking on bird motifs recently since other Grima writers seem to take a shine to it—Robin, Rook, Raven. If I had to apply one to this Morgan… wouldn't a shrike be fitting? Not that I will, she's overloaded on traits and motifs already. But I had to put it out there!
Oh, and you can also consider this entire story one massive ritual to invoke a Fallen F!Morgan unit into being. I don't play Heroes, but…
Okay, I've spewed way too many words already. I set aside a certain section of my notes to put here and I still gutted over half of it! I could've gone on for double this entire thing about just characterization and fight scenes!
I can't understate the inspiration of writers like TheRepeat and Yosei Ranbu to pick up my nonexistent pen and put it to imaginary paper again. Stories like Father Gothel and Wayward Son (I am still rereading Nergal's section to this day) were also huge influences. I'll also take this moment to recognize my wonderful reviewers—in particular, Temporal King for cheering me on, and especially that mysterious boomer for making sure I (mostly) put the plot before my personal inclinations (and I'll assume no feedback is good feedback). There may have also been other writers with works in very specific contexts I probably shouldn't say out loud, but you guys are in my thoughts too! (I wonder if I'll write well enough for my senpais to notice me…) And of course, you (yes, you!) are appreciated for checking out with this frivolous indulgence of a story!
This is the first time I've really sat down and drafted out a story before writing it… mostly. I have the major plot points laid out, but it feels like every day I'm adding new details to the draft as I go through the things I've already revealed, and even more details just naturally emerge when the time comes to write the chapter for real. When I hit a roadblock, like in a fight scene, I usually settle for choreographing it in better detail in my notes and then spend the next day putting it into action.
So many questions left unanswered, so many things I want to say… but I need to put my money where my mouth is! Would you believe we're barely a few months into the Awakening timeskip, and the last ten chapters or so barely covered a few days over about three weeks? I feel like I've written so much but so little. Time really does fly when you're having fun (time, please slow down). There's plenty left to write about! I only hope my passion for Fire Emblem doesn't burn out before this story draws to a close.
And. With. That! I will see you all again very soon. Thank you for reading this mess of a closing note, and thank you for reading Change of Heart.
(But a parting review certainly wouldn't hurt!)