"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30

"Do I even want to know why there's powdered sugar everywhere?"

Soda saw Darry enter the kitchen, as he was putting several slices of French toast on a tray. "Cause I'm about to put it on this French toast, Dar."

Darry moved closer to the counter, finding white powdered sugar in one bowl, red in a second bowl, and blue in yet another. "The French toast is going to be American, huh?"

"Yep. Cause this is the day after the Fourth of July."

Darry went over to the coffee maker, adding water and coffee grounds, before he switched it on. "Which makes it July fifth, little buddy. Speaking of yesterday though, I fell asleep waiting for you to come inside last night."

Soda used his fingers to sprinkle powdered sugar on the French toast. "Yeah. Me and Steve talked for a long time. We had to sort some stuff out, and I don't know. Reflect on it, I guess."

Darry watched the coffee brew, the pot slowly filling up. "You got any plans for today?"

"Nah. Not yet. Why?"

"I was just thinking I want to spend some time with you later."

"Is there something you want to do?"

"Not really. Anything is good, even if we just take a drive."

Soda looked at the French toast with its red, white, and blue powdered sugar, smiling at his creation, before he went over to Darry and touched his arm. "Hey, Dar?"

"Yeah, Soda? We were already talking. I didn't stop listening."

"I know. But I'm kind of changing the subject now cause I want to tell you thanks for your letter. I should've told you last night, but I was, um, pretty choked up by all of it."

Darry saw Soda's eyes looking down, seemingly focused on the kitchen tile. He put a finger under his middle brother's chin and lifted it up. "I was glad to write it for you, little buddy. Even if you never thanked me, I'd still know where your heart is."

Soda felt Darry let go of his chin, seeing his big brother then open a nearby cabinet and take down a coffee mug. "Dar, I, um, I think I do want to go for a drive today."

Darry picked up the pot of freshly-brewed coffee, pouring some into the mug. "Okay then. We can do that this afternoon."

Soda looked down at his feet, white socks pressed into pale blue tile that held no answer for the nervousness that had seized him in the moments since Darry entered the kitchen. "Darry, I, uh, I don't want to drive anywhere in particular. Is that okay? Can we just drive and talk? Well, I mean, you can drive, and I'll talk but-"

"Take it easy there, little buddy. Yeah, I'll drive, and you can talk. Anything you want. We'll just be brothers spending some time together on the road."

"Aw, hell, buddy. My breakfast looks like a washed up American flag."

Soda shoved Steve's shoulder, as he set a plate of French toast in front of him, the red, white, and blue powdered sugar mixed together along with maple syrup. "Don't insult my cooking, Stevie."

Steve picked up his fork and started digging into the French toast. "I ain't insulting your cooking, man. Why would I bite the hand that's feeding me?"

Pony stood by the counter, pouring himself a glass of milk. "Because you're just a little bit cocky."

Steve saw the smile that played on Pony's lips, choosing to take the teasing in stride. "Only a little bit, huh? Coming from you, that must mean I've improved."

Pony added chocolate syrup to his milk, using a spoon to stir it. "Oh, yeah, you're much nicer now than you were when I first met you."

Soda snorted out a laugh, as he added more syrup to his French toast. "He was five, Pone."

Steve chuckled, as he cut more of his own breakfast into pieces. "Yeah, I've changed a lot in the past thirteen, almost fourteen, years."

Soda took the glass of chocolate milk Pony had just made for him, sipping it, so that it gave him a milk mustache. "Yeah, Stevie. Almost as much as you've changed in the past year. You're a lot nicer now than you were last summer too."

Steve put his fork down, his chair sliding away from the table with a screech, as he stood. "I think I need a smoke."

Soda's eyebrows furrowed, as he watched Steve go toward the back door. "In the middle of breakfast?"

Steve didn't reply, only stepping outside before another word could be spoken.

Pony joined Soda at the table, taking a slice of French toast for himself. "Even I'm not that much of a weed fiend."

Soda stared after Steve, taking one more bite of his food, before getting up to follow him. "I'll be back in a minute, Pone."

"No, you won't."

"Huh?"

"You're going out there to talk to Steve, so you'll be a while, especially if there is something wrong."

"All right. Point taken, little brother."

"I think it might've been what you said about him changing and being nicer this past year. I felt the air change in here."

Soda made his way toward the back door. "I don't know, but I'm going to see." He stepped onto the porch, finding Steve on the steps, no cigarette in sight. "I thought you were comin' out here for a smoke."

Steve shrugged, as he felt Soda sit down beside him. "Changed my mind, I guess."

"Oh. Okay. You just got up awful suddenly."

"Did I change that suddenly too?"

"What? I didn't-"

"I know. All right. I know you didn't mean anything by it, and I know I have changed a lot."

"It's a good thing though, Stevie. There's nothing wrong with-"

"I was a jerk last summer, Soda."

"You were not. You were just hurting and figurin' out how to get through it."

"Okay. So I was a jerk who was in pain. I still acted terrible to everybody around me. It's not your fault for saying what you did though. You just happened to trip over a sore spot."

Soda laid a hand on Steve's back. "Yeah, I tripped over it and landed flat on my face, didn't I? I swear I wasn't even thinking about how you acted then or anything like that. I don't look back at last summer in a bad light, buddy. I can't cause it was a time I know you needed."

"I needed to be a jerk to you and my dad and Evie and anybody that was around?"

"You needed to show that something was wrong, and it was the only way you knew how. Anything you said or did then was about you starting to heal. Hell, if you had just been all nice and calm, that would've meant you were shovin' stuff back inside."

"I was a pain in the ass, so you would be able to see I was hurting?"

"Yeah. Something like that. Damn, I was one too, Stevie. It's okay. I ain't holdin' any of it against you. Nobody does. We love you too much."

"I think maybe it being a year is making me sensitive, you dig?"

"Yeah. I dig. Can I be honest with you?"

"I guess. I want you to be, man."

"It seems like you're sensitive to a lot right now. Like yesterday, remember? With me and with TwoBit. Then, you were even worried that you hurt me with talking about being broken."

"Yeah. So what?"

Soda watched the visible irritation flitter across Steve's face, the expression only lasting a second, before it was replaced by one of defeat. "I'm just sayin that it looks like you're not only sensitive about one thing, but all of the stuff from this past year. Yours and mine. It's all right though. I mean, it makes sense for you to be like that."

"Before I know it, it'll be a year since my overdose."

"Yeah, and that's a big deal, Stevie. It's a life milestone cause it means you're alive to see it and tell me what it's like."

Steve touched Soda's shoulder, his fingers then gripping the sleeve of his best friend's shirt. "Sorry for just getting up and leavin' like that."

"Don't even sweat it, man. Hell, you just came outside. Not like you skipped town or somethin'. But I'm going to be more careful what I say from now on, okay?"

Steve looked down, shame beginning to creep in and wind itself around him. But it's not Soda's fault, he thought. He shouldn't have to watch what he says just because I-

"Steve? Come on, man. I know that look. Don't go feelin' bad. I'm going to be more careful what I say cause I don't want to keep accidentally hurting you. That doesn't feel good to me either."

"Yeah. I know it doesn't. I just don't want you to have to tiptoe around me, like I'm made of glass or something."

"Aw, that ain't what it is, Stevie. It's no different than Darry telling me he's going to be more careful after he yelled at me to wake up that one morning. Besides, I don't want you leavin' the table when you're supposed to be eating my patriotic breakfast."

Steve saw Soda's smile, the sight making him grin back. "I guess I need to get back to it then, huh?"

"Yeah. Cause you already proved Pony right, and I'm sure he's sittin' there thinking about just that."

"How'd I prove him right?"

"Before I came out here, I told him I'd be back in a minute. He said I wouldn't cause it's me and you talkin', so it'd be a while."

"Damn. We've made ourselves another rep, haven't we?"

"Yeah, I guess we have." Soda stood up, his hand reaching out to Steve, who immediately took it, both friends now standing together. "And I sure don't need any convincin' that it suits the two of us just fine."

"Absolutely, Sir. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"What? I thought you had the day off."

Darry pulled on one of his shirts that read Sanders' Construction, the disappointed tone in Soda's voice catching him off guard. "I did. But something came up with one of our customers. He needs the roof patched up before that storm they're predicting moves in later on tonight."

Soda sighed, though he tried to paste a grin on his face. "Oh. Well, maybe we can spend time together tomorrow afternoon."

"Of course we can, little buddy. And today's not totally off the table, you know. I should only be a few hours. I got the idea you wanted to talk, and we can still do that later."

"Yeah. I guess so."

Darry glanced down at his watch, seeing that it was just past 2:00, as the expression on Soda's face showed no sense of relief. "Sodapop, is there something you need to tell me?"

"Huh? No, Dar. I think I've told you everything there is. I mean, it ain't like I'm keepin' stuff from you or anything like that cause I couldn't. Not after-"

"Woah, little buddy. Take it easy. I was just asking."

"Oh. Well, I just don't want you to think I've been hidin' stuff from you."

Darry moved closer to Soda and put his hands on his shoulders, making eye contact with him. "I don't think that. I do think there's a reason you want to talk, but that doesn't mean I'm accusing you of hiding things from me. Even if there's something I don't know yet, that doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. It just means you haven't been ready to tell me. I'm no stranger to the fact that it can take you some time, and that's all right. I also know you talk to Steve a lot, so I'm not worried about you keeping your feelings or thoughts completely to yourself."

"I definitely haven't been doin' that, Dar. I promise. But there is something I'm wanting to tell you. I thought it'd be easier for me to do it on a drive cause it has been before."

"If it's what you need, we can still take a drive today, little buddy. It'll be a short evening one, but we can."

"All right, Dar. I'll let you go now. I know Mr. Sanders must be waitin' for you."

Darry stared at Soda for a moment, searching his brown eyes for any sign that he should be alarmed at the prospect of a revelation.

"Why are you lookin' at me like that?"

Darry pulled Soda to his chest, his own memories serving as reminders of the darkness his middle brother had spoken of mere months earlier.

Soda hugged his big brother back, this moment a welcome one, despite the question he had to ask. "You're not still thinkin' about my seizure, are you, Darry?"

"No. It's not that right now." Darry pulled away, his gaze locking with Soda's once more. "I'll tell you later, okay? I'm honestly starting to think I may need the talk we're going to have as much as you do."

"Hey, Dad, the fireworks sure were tuff last night, weren't they?"

Nicholas was putting some dry dishes away, as Steve came through the front door. "I don't know, Son. I wasn't exactly watching them."

Steve set the overnight bag he'd taken to the Curtis house down on the table, before taking his medicine bottle out of it. "What do you mean you weren't watching them? What else would you- Oh!"

"Yeah. I had a view that was much better. She was gorgeous."

"So you were busy kissing Audrey under the fireworks."

"But of course. We were enjoying each other just like you predicted we would be."

"I didn't put it like that, Dad."

"It's the truth though, Son."

"Well, it makes me glad I just hung out with the guys and didn't even have to see you kissing in public."

"I'm sure it does. How are the guys?"

"They're themselves. We had a good time together. Then, Soda made French toast this morning with red, white, and blue powdered sugar on top."

"Leave it to Sodapop to make you a festive breakfast the morning after a holiday, huh?"

"Yeah. For sure. Um, Dad, can I ask you to do something for me without you freaking out or anything?"

"Of course you can. What do you need me to do?"

Steve sat down at the table, as he picked up the bottle of medication, eyes reading the label that had his own name on it, along with that of the antidepressant he'd been taking since his suicide attempt. "Can you hang onto my pills for me?"

Nicholas reached for the bottle that was about half-full, taking it from Steve's hands, as he sat down on the chair beside him. "I will. But please tell me why, Son. I'm not panicking, but I think I need to know."

"Yeah. I get that. I wasn't going to leave you in the dark about why. But I'm not having the, um, suicidal thoughts. Not yet anyway."

"Is there some reason you think you will?"

"Yeah. Cause things are getting to me really easily. I'm not sure how to explain it, but I'm reacting emotionally to stuff."

"What do you mean by 'emotionally?'"

"I just mean I feel hurt or sad. Not like really angry, but maybe annoyed. I don't totally lose it or anything."

"Okay. So what kind of stuff are you reacting to?"

Steve reached for Nicholas' hand and held it with both of his own, realizing tears had begun to swim in his eyes. "Just things like about me or about Soda. I'm really sensitive if something rubs me the wrong way."

"What's been happening, Son? I don't want to overwhelm you with questions, but I'm not sure what you mean."

"I mean I think I could be vulnerable to the suicidal thoughts because my feelings get in this hurt place when I don't even expect them to. Like last night, when we were all in the backyard, Soda and me kind of shared a look, and TwoBit made a joke about us needing a moment. I know he didn't mean anything by it, but I snapped at him cause it kind of hurt me. Then, later, I found Soda in his room after he got done reading these letters that Penny and his brothers wrote for him. We talked about them some, and I put my arm around him. But he asked me not to do that cause he felt like he'd cry if I hugged him even a little bit. That hurt a lot."

"Did you tell him that, Son?"

"Yeah. Not that I had to cause he could tell from the look on my face. It bothered me enough that we talked about it more even after we got back from the strip. I sort of tried, but I couldn't keep that to myself cause it felt so intense."

"What felt intense?"

"The hurt. I felt it really strong, and it didn't get any better til I told Soda all about it."

"I'm glad to hear that it helped to tell him about it. I know the two of you are open with one another, and I can't imagine he wouldn't want to know if he hurt you somehow. Even though it sounds completely unintentional."

"It was. He just needed some space. TwoBit didn't mean to hurt me either. He was jokin' around the same as he always does. That feeling was pretty intense too, but just for a second."

Nicholas moved one hand to Steve's head, running his fingers through his son's hair, as he could see tears edge out of his eyes. "I'll hold onto your medicine, Son. I can see why you'd be worried you're prone to the feelings you've had before."

"I started thinking that this morning cause Pony and me were kidding around with each other the way we always do. He said I'm nicer than I used to be. From him, that's a huge compliment."

Nicholas smiled, as he saw Steve doing the same, even with his tears. "I would say so. But you two have found some common ground recently, haven't you?"

"Yeah. We have, and I don't mind him teasing me. But then, Soda said I'm a lot nicer than I was last summer, and I got up and went outside. He was teasing too, and he's right. But it made me think of how I acted last summer and how I treated everybody, especially you and him."

"You were having a tough time, Son. We knew that. I don't look back at everything from last year and think of how you struggled to cope. I think of the strides you made and the ones we made together. The way I treated you wasn't always right either, and that's part of the reason you didn't do so well for a while. I'm sure Sodapop wasn't looking back at last summer the way you did when he said that about you being nicer. I can imagine what kind of change he's seen, and it's nothing to do with the way you treated anyone."

"Yeah. He followed me outside, and we talked again. So we've had a lot of heart-to-heart since last night. Even for us."

"You must've needed them. I bet that's what Sodapop sees. Ponyboy too."

"What is?"

"The way you share your pain and how kind you are to others in theirs. That's why you can have those kind of talks with Sodapop. With me too. It doesn't just help you keep healing to share what's inside and use it to do everything you possibly can to help others, it helps you thrive."

"Nice shot, Pone!"

Pony watched the basketball drop through the goal, then land on the concrete, bouncing toward Soda. "I got it right in there, huh?"

Soda caught the ball and dribbled it a few times, before taking a shot himself. "You sure did."

Pony saw the basketball circle the rim, then fall through the net. "Is it ever hard to do stuff like this with your arm?"

Soda ran to grab the ball that was bouncing away from them. "Sometimes it is. But it doesn't make anything hurt, and it ain't like it's real hard to hold onto a basketball."

Pony started to walk over to a nearby bench, Soda following behind him, the ball tucked under one arm. "So you said you wanted to tell me something important. What is it?"

Soda sat down on the bench with Pony, his eyes looking toward the opposite side of the park. "Does it ever bother you to be here?"

Pony followed Soda's gaze, seeing the fountain that stood just beyond the playground. "Not as long as I'm over here. I wouldn't want to go hang out by the fountain or anything."

"Oh. Okay." Soda held the basketball in his lap, his fingers pressing into its rubbered texture. "So, um, what I wanted to tell you is I know who's going to adopt the baby."

"You do? Who?"

"Samuel and his wife."

"Samuel the preacher?"

"Yeah. Remember that day I came home from Steve's, and you could tell I'd been crying?"

"Yeah. I remember."

"Well, Samuel came over that day to ask me about adopting the baby cause Steve's dad had told him about Penny."

"Samuel and his wife can't have their own kids?"

"It's not exactly that, Pone. They've just been through a lot as far as having their own goes."

"What does that mean?"

"They lost their kid in an accident six years ago, then they lost a baby to a miscarriage in April."

"Oh. That's really sad."

"Yeah. It is sad. And Penny and me, we can't keep the baby. She's going off to school. I've got you and Darry. I feel like if it's what she wanted, we'd find a way to make it all work. But that's not what she wants right now."

"She wants to be a nurse, right?"

"Yeah. She does."

"Will me and Darry still be the baby's uncles? I mean, I know that's still how we'll actually be related, but will it be a secret?"

"I don't want it to be, Pone. I don't want any of this to be like that."

"Isn't that how adoption usually is? No one talks about it or anything?"

"Yeah, I guess. But that doesn't mean it's right. Especially not in a situation like this one."

"Samuel's your friend, and he's going to be your kid's dad. Doesn't that feel weird?"

"Kind of. But not as weird as me and Penny looking up strangers through an agency."

"Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?"

"I'm just hopin' for a kid who's healthy, Pone. Besides, I've gotta be careful about getting attached to any ideas or thinking about what I want cause I won't be raisin' the baby."

"But won't you get to see it?"

"Sure. But that ain't the same as being one of the parents."

"Soda, are you in love with Penny?"

"Yeah. We're in love with each other."

"Is that why you, you know, slept with her?"

"Um, yeah. Why are you askin' me that?"

"I just wondered cause it seems like you should love somebody before you do stuff like that."

"Yeah. Of course. I mean, I can't say I've loved every girl I've been with, but Penny's my sweetheart. We waited at first because I love her."

"I used to think you never did anything with Sandy because you didn't brag about it to the guys."

"Cause I cared about her. I didn't see it as something to brag about. I remember tellin' Steve that we had a real good time, but I respected her enough that I wouldn't go any further with it or tell everybody."

"You loved Sandy too, right? You told me you did."

"Yeah. I did. But it was a different kind of love, Pone. It was a feeling more than anything else. It wasn't deep enough to last, and looking back, I'm glad we didn't try to stay together. Cause I would've given my whole self to her and gotten lost in doing it."

"And she might've cheated on you again."

"That too. But at least I got to find out she didn't love me like I thought she did. It hurt to know she cheated, but it would've been worse down the line if I had married her, then found out I wasn't really wanted."

"Yeah, it would be cause you should never have to feel like you're not wanted. You don't deserve that at all."

"That's what I don't want for my kid."

"What is?"

"Whether it's a boy or a girl, I don't want my kid to ever have to wonder. I want him or her to always know they're loved and to grow up knowing they couldn't be more wanted."