CLARKE

Even before we reach the crossing where Lexa and Strand are waiting for us I can tell something is wrong.

The asphalt underneath our feet looks different than it did a few hours ago. It hasn't been raining, yet there are some puddles now here and there, smeared over the road surface by trailing footsteps. Body fluids. I don't want to know what kind.

I spot a lost shoe. Then, half a mile or so further on, the rotten leg that might have belonged to it.

More and more bushes along the road show broken branches, telling me the group that strolled down this road either shrunk, with Walkers disappearing into the woods, or grew bigger with more of them showing up. The question answers itself when we get to the open space of the junction.

The terrain looks like a herd of boars has plowed through it. The shed I remember being there is gone; the wood of the walls pulverized and the corrugated iron roof now in pieces and scattered around the site.

A dead silence tells me the danger has passed. The Walkers are gone - in transit, as always. By the looks of it they've taken all possible directions from here. A true crossroad indeed.

There's no sign of Lexa, nor Strand.

"They are not here," Madi speaks up. "You think the herd got them?"

I can hear the panic in her voice, the fear that I feel rising in my own chest as well. I fight to suppress it though, to stay calm. Resting one hand on her shoulder I cup the other above my eyes to have a better look.

"I don't see anything indicating any kind of battle took place here. There are no corpses lying around, like that time we'd ran into that herd on our way to Alexandria. And no signs or traces of human harm." A deep sigh escapes me. If only a lack of their blood would be enough of a reassurance.

"So they left?" Madi looks up at me, her eyes wide and full of disbelief. "They left us?!"

I shake my head. "No."

"Clarke, they're gone! Lexa, she's-"

"No!" I say again, a little louder this time. "She wouldn't do that, she would never leave me again." I swallow, struggling with a sudden lump in my throat. "She promised."

Madi takes a few steps forward, looks around for any signs we might have missed so far, then looks over her shoulder.

"How can you be sure, after everything that happened?"

I open my mouth to answer her, then abruptly close it again. She doesn't know about that time Lexa left me in the woods, the day after I found her again. And though she must have picked up on our recent struggles I'm sure she doesn't know about Rosita either.

So instead of answering her, I narrow my eyes. "What do you mean?"

She turns around. "She's been in my head, remember?" she shrugs, almost casually. "I've seen it, as through my own eyes. How she left you at Mount Weather."

"That's ages ago. And something totally different."

"Maybe, yes. But can you be sure? You know just as well that she's been following her own course ever since we met her. Just the way she's used to."

Tilting my head I frown at her. "What's with the skepticism? I thought you were okay with Lexa?"

When Madi stays quiet I step closer towards her.

"Listen, I know a lot has happened. And I know you worry about me. You shouldn't, but you do. But you're wrong here. Lexa isn't using us. And she didn't ditch us. We're in this together - till the end."

Madi averts her eyes, mumbling, "How do you know?"

"Well, first of all, she came into space with me when you were harmed, even though she seriously shitted her pants!" Thinking back of Lexa's pale cheeks a soft chuckle falls of my lips, but when my eyes find Madi's again I make sure there's no laughter in my voice. "And second, she loves us. She loves me, and she sure as hell loves you, too."

Before she can say anything in response I pull her in for a tight hug, as if to make her feel that love through me. I can feel her small, tensed body pressed against mine. And I understand. With everything she's been through in her short life. With losing people. With being left alone. To her getting abandoned is a real possibility. A real fear. With everything happening to her, her brain is set to walk that path. To follow that conviction.

It's up to me, and the people around her, to prove her wrong.

"She promised me," I whisper, my lips now close to her ear. "She promised me to never leave again. So she didn't."

... ...

There's no other choice for us than to wait. With four roads going in literally every direction, and no hint which one they took, the chance of getting further away from them is bigger than the chance of finding them.

We do search the area around the junction, but it doesn't bring us anything. I try to comfort myself with the idea that this is a good sign. At least there's no immediate reason to assume they didn't get away alive.

Madi doesn't question my faith and thus my decision to stay any longer, at least not out loud, but I can tell she isn't totally convinced. And when twilight starts to set in I can't blame her for getting worried.

"Clarke, come on, we have to find a place for the night," she tells me, looking more restless by the minute.

We're sitting on the concrete in the middle of the crossing, where the two roads meet. Our back against each other, our eyes on every possible movement.

"Five more minutes," I answer, and in my head I start counting.

I'm at two hundred and thirty-eight seconds when I hear her, even before I can see her. It's just my name, but that one word is enough to recognize her voice, and the relief within it.

"Clarke!"

My head shoots in her direction, right when she comes into sight, and I jump up faster than I figured myself possible. But I don't move. Conflicted with two instincts at once - running towards her and staying here to protect Madi - I sort of freeze. It doesn't matter though. Lexa starts running instead, closing the distance before I can blink twice. Without saying a word she wraps her arms around me and pulls me close, her chest beating against mine.

Too soon for my liking she loosens her grip, but she doesn't let go of me. With her free arm she pulls Madi into our embrace. For a moment we're just standing there like that, the three of us as one.

"I'm sorry," Lexa exhales into my hair. Her breath shudders.

"For what?" I murmur, "For staying alive? Please, never apologize for that!"

"For leaving you," she quietly answers, "I didn't want to. I wanted to stay. I really did! But Strand made me."

I pull away so I can look her in the eyes. They're filled with sorrow. "Hey, hey... it's okay! You didn't leave me. You're here now, aren't you? In one piece. Remind me to thank Strand for that!"

When Lexa's expression doesn't change even a bit I squint my eyes, my brows drawing together. "Wait, he's okay too, isn't he? Tell me he's fine!"

"He's fine," Lexa nods. A tired, deep breath escapes her lungs. "He's in this abandoned house we found shelter in, about a mile down this road."

Madi lets go of us and picks up her backpack from the ground.

"Alright, let's go then," she says with her eyes on the darkening sky. And this time I have no reason to fight her.

... ...

"Is she asleep?"

As I enter the room and close the door behind me, Lexa looks up at me. She's made us a place to sleep which is far from as nice as our bed in Alexandria, but will definitely do.

I nod at her. "She dozed off in like a second. Completely worn out." My lips curl into a smile. "She even let me help make her a bed. Out of energy to hide behind her teenager facade."

Lexa smiles back at me. "When you're sick or tired, there's nothing like your mom taking care of you."

"Even when you're a former army commander?" I arch one of my brows, which makes her laugh.

"Especially when you're a former army commander!"

We share another chuckle.

"How about Strand?" I ask her. I squat down to untie my shoes, though my eyes are still on her.

"Downstairs, keeping an eye on the door," she answers, "So probably passed out."

Getting back up I kick off my shoes, then start unbuttoning my blouse. "Should we be worried about that?"

"Nah, everything's locked. We'll be okay tonight." She takes a step towards me, her voice dropping a beat as she goes on, "I'm so sorry for this afternoon."

I stare at her for a moment, then shake my head in silence as I lift my hand and gently tuck her hair behind her ear. "You've gotta stop saying that."

"I feel like I didn't keep my word."

"But you did."

With our gaze still locked she bites her lips, as if to keep herself from disagreeing with me, or apologizing again. I take her hands into mine.

"You saved me today. You saved me from a life without you. You should never feel bad about that."

She heaves a sigh. "Madi told me you were certain I'd come back."

"A thousand percent," I nod.

"Despite everything?"

"Because of everything," I answer, drawing a confused look from her. I lace our fingers together. "Mistakes aren't made to be repeated, they're made to learn from. I believe we're still learning, both of us... but we don't need another lesson in what we mean to each other. And in not wanting to lose each other."

The right corner of her mouth moves up, revealing a dimple that makes my heart flutter.

"There's no me without you," she says, her voice barely a whisper.

I squeeze her hands.

"And there's no me without you."

Silence falls upon us, until her jaw tightens once more. She swallows. "But those things that happened in the past-"

"-happened in the past," I cut her off. "Lex, I don't want to look back anymore. I trust you. I do! And from now on I only want to look forward."

She nods, as if out of words.

"But of course that's just me," I wink. "What do you want?"

Her smile returns, together with those dimples, and her eyes start to shine. "I want to always be there for you," she sighs. "I want to take care of you. I want to make you laugh. I want to make you feel good."

Before she can go on I grab the collar of her shirt and pull her towards me. With her lips less than an inch away from mine I breathe, "Let's begin with that."

And then our lips crash together. As they open up, giving our tongues the chance to find each other, Lexa's hands move up, shoving my unbuttoned shirt off my shoulders. I pull hers over her head - the only moment I allow myself to break contact with her lips - and toss it on the floor.

God, I've missed her skin against mine!

"Bed," I mumble into her mouth, making her smile into our kiss. I move my foot, about to take a step backward without letting go of her, but right then she surprises me by lifting me up. A groan escapes me before I can stop myself, and as I wrap my legs around her waist she caries me to the bed.

Once down, her on top of me, she starts kissing my neck, leaving a trail all along my jaw until her hot breath hits my ear. I whimper, not able to form words, let alone a sentence.

"What's that?" Lexa giggles. Her lips graze my earlobe, right before she playfully tugs it with her teeth. I think I'm dying. No, I think I'm already dead, and this is heaven.

While feeling like I'm in another world I slowly realize I'm just lying here, not giving her anything in return. I want to, but I suddenly don't remember how. She doesn't seem to mind though. Her hand has found my breast, her fingers now caressing my hard nipple through the fabric of my bra, before pulling it up and covering the peak with her mouth. When she switches to the other one I can feel her hand drifting further south.

With her tongue swirling around my sensitive skin and her hand palming my sex I buck my hips, needing every friction I can get.

"More," I finally manage to moan out.

Lexa inches back up where my mouth welcomes hers again, hot and wet. Her hand stays down though, fidgeting with the button of my jeans until it's undone and she can slip her fingers into my panties. The moment she touches me she breaks away from my lips to look at me - a contend smile on her face. There's no question here. I'm ready for her.

She shifts her weight to the side, though she makes sure to keep our bodies pressed against each other, and slowly starts to move her hand. Her fingers are everywhere. Sliding through my wet folds, circling my swollen clit, teasing my opening... they don't leave any spot unattended and they're quickly driving me absolutely insane.

I pull her in for another kiss - a sloppy one, as I can hardly breathe. I want to encourage her, I want to thank her, I want to feel her inside of me, and at the same time beg her to never stop doing what she's doing right now. I want it all, but I don't get the chance as I'm already falling.

Falling, floating, flying... and exploding.

With my bottom lip in-between my teeth to hold back those moans that so desperately want to come out. That prevent me from screaming her name. And with my writhing body close against hers as she holds me. As she doesn't let me go.

Doesn't leave me.

I open my eyes and turn my head, meeting her grin. She looks smug, yet in a very good way.

"How was that?"

Ignoring my still pounding heart I smirk back at her.

"That was a very good start."

... ...