Disclaimer: I don't own Negima! Magister Negi Magi or Ranma ½
Rise of Prodigies
Chapter Thirty Seven: Interlude - Outsiders Con - More Talk, Less Squabbling!
Beta:
Note: Every line of dialogue should be in Zalgo text but since that would make the interlude basically unreadable, we've refrained. Just take it as if it is, okay. ;)
In a place outside the realms known to mortals, a bubble of stable reality in the otherwise chaotic sea of churning, unformed Creation that was the Realm between Realms, there was taking place a gathering of some of the most august personages in the infinite universes.
"Alright," a pretty little five year old with straight waist length brunette hair, dressed in a cute checkered dress and clutching a stuffed penguin said. "Let's start this meeting already. I don't want to be late for the movie. It's tough enough for Anita to find the time away from work to spend time with me, much less take me out for the day."
"You do realize you can just warp time to ensure you're not late, right Blakelord?" Shiro Evileyes, a stunningly beautiful woman with white skin, silvery blonde hair, dressed in a elegant ivory colored A-line strapless dress with a ruffled skirt asked as she turned her head to look at Blakelord, though considering her eyes were closed as was her wont, it was hard to tell if she was actually looking at the little girl.
"Oh, I know," Blakelord said with a nod. "But it's the principle of the thing. Anita is my mum basically and I just don't want to play hooky on her even if I can cheat and avoid it."
"That's just silly." The Mage of the Beginning, still wearing the body of Nagi Springfield, scoffed. "Why would you, an Outsider, care about the feelings of a mere mortal?"
"Because I just do." Blakelord retorted without a hint of shame for her unbecoming thoughts. "And like I said, let's get this meeting started. So roll call! There's me, Blakelord, representing the Moderators."
"Shiro Evileyes, the White Spider." The well dressed woman said. "Representing the Sapphic Circle."
"Yog Sothoth of the Primordial Old Ones." A collection of humanoid eyeballs of varying sizes that ranged from the size of a pea to a single central eye that was as wide as a full grown man, all of which were surrounded by a sickly green aura, said. "And Shiro, why are you wearing something that elaborate? Are you going to a ball or something?"
"Hardly," Shiro said with a shrug. "This is merely my normal state of dress."
"You mean your normal state of being overdressed." A gravelly voice said and the Mage turned to the speaker. He was a hulking insectoid abomination with a lower body reminiscent of a beetle which was supported by four stocky legs that ended in sharp points. It was connected to a relatively slender midsection that held up a disturbingly humanoid upper body that had the scything arms of a mantid and a horned head similar to that of a rhinoceros beetle. Running along the monstrosity's spine were a series of growths that resembled termite mounds and from the openings of which emerged an immense swarm of monstrous insects that swirled around their host in a constant ever changing dance.
"Ahem. Roll call." Blakelord reminded the brute and the Mage had to stifle a laugh as the monstrous insectoid flinched at the chastisement from what looked like an unassuming little girl. Then again, the name of the faction that Blakelord represented was no joke. They were the Moderators of their kind and none of their ilk dared cross them. Even if their representative was being a childish brat.
"Apologies, Blakelord. Swarmdeus of the Empire Builders."
"I AM HERE. AT THE TABLE. I HAVE BROUGHT SNACKS." A mass of dark energy dotted with stars that was constantly shapeshifting into different bodies said as he dumped three bags onto a round table that it had conjured out of nowhere in between the meeting's participants.
"Name and faction," Blakelord said with a tired sigh. "Thanks for the snacks though."
At that she reached out and snagged one of the bags of goodies, honeyed planets complete with populations of cultists if the Mage wasn't mistaken, for herself and began munching on them. The glutton!
"KOSMIKÓ ORIZONTA, REPRESENTING THE CELESTIAL GHASTS. I HOPE YOU LIKE THEM, I SPECIALLY ADDED A SPRINKLE OF CHAOS."
"Yeah, I tasted it." Blakelord coughed. "A little spicier than I normally like it, but good anyways. Thanks Kos!"
"AS THE OLDEST HERE, IT IS MY DUTY TO BE CONSIDERATE OF MY JUNIORS."
"The oldest?" Yog, the old bat, asked, her form bubbling with agitation. "Do not make me laugh!"
"Such a joke." Shiro huffed and wrinkled her nose, not that it stopped her from claiming one bag of Kos' snacks for herself.
Selfish prick. The Mage thought as he took the last bag, opened it and offered it to Deus and Yog. The old ooze ignored him but Deus was polite enough to take a handful to munch on, that he had to grow a new set of humanoid arms from his upper torso to do so would've disturbed any mortals present. Thankfully, none were. Though being in the presence of so many of his kind would've killed them long before now if they had anyways.
"Cool it with the self-aggrandizement Kos," Blakelord said, shooting him a warning look. "Before one of the Primals hears you and takes offense. If one of the Seven does, well… Sucks to be you."
"VERY WELL." Kos agreed, though he radiated displeasure at the put down.
"Can you move a few galaxies over? You're crowding my spot." Shiro said as she glared at Deus. "Such needless bulk. Can't you just compress it into a more economical form spacewise like I have?"
"My exoskeleton is in prime position. Perhaps you should move several galaxies away? And are you calling me fat?"
"...I asked first, you rude hulking monstrosity. And how dare you make a lady try and move!"
"I merely asked because since you are so tiny you moving makes more sense."
"Blakelord, do something." Yog said, turning most of her eyes towards the Moderator as the others watched the continuing argument between the two arthropod Outsiders warily. "You know how those two get once they start arguing. We do not need another multidimensional war erupting because those two can't get along! You know how troublesome it is explaining to the Primals why we wrecked their favourite ant farm universes!"
"Do I have to? It's far too amusing, hehehe."
"IT IS VERY AMUSING." Kos agreed and the Mage nodded as well.
"Do you have to emote so… loudly?"
"WHAT IS EMOTING?"
"What are you? Ten?" Yog asked, flabbergasted. "How can you not know what that means!?"
"I WAS BORN BEFORE SUCH THINGS AS LANGUAGE."
"And I'm literally time and space!" Yog reminded him. "Keep up with the times!"
"Yes, we know, we've heard it all before." The Mage needled. It was always fun to poke the bear as it were. Sure Yog, and any of the Primordial Old Ones for that matter, could probably wipe the floor with him but what was life without some danger?
"Why don't you whine louder then?"
"Whine?! You dare!" The Mage snarled. He was just acting of course, he just wanted to add more oil to the fire and he was doing a pretty good job of it. If things kept going, the meeting was likely to devolve into a brawl in minutes!
"ENOUGH!" Blakelord roared suddenly, tossing her stuffed penguin onto the centre of the table and had it grow to monstrous proportions that towered over all of them. "Sigmund! Stuffing Breath!"
At that, the oversized animated toy began spitting balls of fluff at the unruly Outsiders and trapped them underneath mountains of fluff.
"Now calm the shit down!" Blakelord demanded. "Or I'll have Sigmund stomp you!"
It took a minute or two for the various gathered Outsiders to fight their way out of the stuffing and shake off the humiliation of being defeated by a stuffed toy to get back in the mood to continue the meeting.
"SHALL THE MEETING BEGIN?" Kos said once everyone had regained their poise.
"I have the meeting gavel, we can start soon." The Mage of the Beginning stated.
"Pass that over," Blakelord ordered as she recalled her toy. "You're the defendant here, Magey, you have no right to that."
"Fine. Be that way when I hatch a new scheme to share with you." The Mage said as he passed over the gavel.
"Good, now, let us begin!" Blakelord pounded the hammer onto the block she'd conjured out of nowhere. "Mage of the Beginning of the Nurturers, you stand accused of… Seriously? Sigh. Of forcing the natural progression of an Outsider's existence. Okay, who wrote these charges? It's stupid. He's a Nurturer! Interfering with mortals to try and force them to become Outsiders is their faction's whole schtick!"
"I think because he didn't file the proper paperwork on article five, subsection ten." Shiro pointed out, gesturing to her own copy of the charge sheet.
Blakelord shot Shiro an unimpressed look. "Please don't play along with the joke. We aren't a bloody celestial bureaucracy-"
"...I like bureaucratic jokes…"
Blakelord just facepalmed. "Alright, this is getting us nowhere fast. Whoever has the right charge sheet pass it over. Now!"
"I HAVE IT HERE." Kos said, even as he covertly shot a thumbs up in the Mage's direction for the joke.
At least someone here appreciates my craft.
"Thank you, now the charges. Ah! Mage of the Beginning, it seems you have not backed off in interfering with the young Outsider's development even though she has already ascended. While your nature is to be a nurturer, this much interaction goes against protocol. Anything to say in your defense?"
"Only that I've made no breach of protocol."
"You deny that the subject- What's her name?"
"She does not have one yet." Deus informed Blakelord. "I see what you did there, Mage. Clever. Very clever."
"Yes, exploiting the fact that the newborn has not even chosen its name much less fully come to an understanding of its new nature so that you can continue to operate in its domain? Very sneaky of you."
"Thank you for the praise, Deus, Shiro." The Mage said, offering his fellows a theatrical bow.
"Still, whilst this might not technically be in breach of protocol-"
"BUT IT IS STILL A BREACH OF THEIR SPIRIT."
"I have to agree with Yog and Kos," Blakelord said with a frown. "I mean, the whole point of backing off once a newborn ascends is to give them space to accustom themselves to their new nature. You hanging around is just-"
"Like being a helicopter parent," Shiro said with a smirk.
"But is that not in the nature of a Nurturer?" Deus asked leadingly.
"Perhaps," Yog said unhappily, clearly displeased to have to agree with this line of reasoning. "But I can't imagine the newborn will be happy with this."
"THEN LET HER TAKE IT UP WITH THE MAGE ONCE IT IS ABLE." Kos said with a shrug. "THERE IS NO CRIME HERE."
"Thank you!"
"You're not off the hook yet." Blakelord said, shooting him a dark look. "I haven't cleared you."
"And will you defy the ruling of the jury of our peers, oh great Moderator?"
Blakelord shot their present peers a look and frowned when they all universally shook their heads, or made equivalent gestures.
"Fine," she hissed in irritation. "You're cleared of any wrongdoing. But!"
"But what?" The Mage asked, smirking cockily knowing there was nothing much Blakelord could do to him.
"But when the time comes for the newborn to inevitably get back at you for everything you've done to her. I'll be there to help her kick your ass, you bodystealing perv. And that's for wasting my time today."
"Yeah, sure, whatever works for you. Now that we're done wasting time, should we call this farce to a close? You said you were in a rush, weren't you?"
Blakelord didn't even bother to respond. In a fit of childish pique, she teleported away with Shiro and Yog following her almost immediately after.
"Farewell Mage," Deus said as he too began the spell to teleport away. "May you survive the newborn's wrath."
"WHAT DEUS SAID." Kos said with a laugh. "I THINK YOU'LL NEED IT."
With that he too teleported away, leaving the Mage seemingly alone in the tiny bubble reality.
"Aren't you going to follow the others' lead?" He asked the empty space off in a dark corner.
"No, not yet." A gigantic humanoid shadow clutching a huge book that was the size of a man said in a composite voice seemingly made out of the voices of thousands as it suddenly loomed out of the shadows. "I merely lingered to tell you that I have already handed the newborn my gift."
"Whatever suits you, Namekeeper." The Mage said just a tad nervously as the other Outsider teleported away.
Namekeeper was possibly the most dangerous member of their race. It was the one who recorded all their names and thus knew everything there was to know about them. If it had given Ranma-chan a gift… Depending on what it was, things could get very dicey for him if he stayed to play around with her like he planned. But then again… Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?
Done and done! Thanks to Nameless as always!
Ah, Outsiders. You know em, you love/hate em, they make the world all the more interesting. And now? Ranma has risen to their Level. Somewhat. She's still a baby, but let's see where she goes, no?
Nameless: She's just lucky she's considered too young to get pulled into their politics. If she wasn't? Well, she'd likely be eaten alive. Possibly quite literally. Anyways~! I hope you guys liked the Outsiders we created for this interlude. We had rather intricate backstories in the back of our minds for each of them as we wrote them which informed how they behaved. Think any of you can hazard a guess or two about what those backstories might be like? If so, drop your guesses in a review or PM and we'll let you know if you're right.
And just a small shoutout to Nameless2210 and his new completed story; The Council of Thirteen. It's a good read that blends a lot of different things together in a medley of fun times. Give it a gander!
You know what to do! Smash that review button and tell us what you love! No flames and peace off my peeps!