A/N: This update is a little sooner than expected, I thought I'd leave you with a nice long chapter for the weekend. Thank you for all your reviews and continued support. Your patience WILL be rewarded. Our girls deserve nothing but the best, so there are still a few kinks that need to be sorted out. This chapter might be the beginning of just that.

Thank you, Babyjamo, for your keen and critical eye and for letting me bounce off ideas.

Since it's been a while since I said it, I'll stress again that the Grey's Anatomy characters are unfortunately not mine and all belong to Shondaland and ABC. Cannot thank Shonda Rhimes enough for bringing these wonderful characters into our living rooms and I hope my story can be a show of gratitude :)

Chapter XXXVII

Since Arizona had spent her whole Saturday at the Robbins-Herman Center, Callie had spent the day with Sofia and had offered to cook for the three of them. They had figured out a new routine now Sofia was back in school and were trying to make it work as they went. It was an adjustment for all of them, but Sofia seemed to be very happy in her new situation.

After their big day at the Yankees, Callie had found herself more at ease and less on edge whenever she was around Arizona and it had shown. Somehow, it had made the blonde a little more relaxed as well, which in turn also affected Sofia.

Once Arizona had joined them at Callie's apartment, Sofia had talked a mile a minute during dinner. The young Torres had been signed up for T-ball and she was beyond excited about it. Callie's heart fluttered at seeing the pure joy on her daughter's face. It had been quite a while since the little girl had beamed like she had tonight, barring the day at the Yankee stadium. It only confirmed that Arizona's decision on also moving to New York had been the right one, she was going to have to thank her for that someday.

The talk over dinner had been pleasant and Callie found herself thoroughly enjoying Arizona's company. Since neither one of them seemed to want the night to end, Callie and Arizona had decided that Sofia would spend an extra night at Callie's so they could spend some more time together.

After Sofia had gone to bed, Arizona had plopped down on the sofa looking tired. Callie had offered a glass of wine and they had gotten to talking about the Center and Arizona's and Dr. Herman's plans for it. Seeing her ex-wife talk about her new job was exhilarating, the blonde lit up. Her eyes sparkled and since she was smiling a lot, her cute dimples made their appearance often. This had been the Arizona she had fallen for. She was glad to see her again. It really looked like she had not been the only one that had worked on herself.

"Arizona…." Callie's voice trailed off for a moment and she gazed at a random spot on the opposite wall. "I ah…can we talk?"

The blonde flashed Callie a confused look. They were talking? It was obvious she had not caught on to what Callie tried to say.

"About us, I mean," Callie said, this time she slowly turned her head to face her ex-wife. "We're going to be seeing a lot more of each other and I'd like to address the elephant in the room. We…..we never really talked about...us...the divorce."

"Oh," Arizona's voice sounded a little deflated. It made Callie feel like she had ruined the mood, but she was determined to not back down. They needed to discuss this. One way or another.

Since she was the one to bring it up, Callie started. It was not easy, far from it, especially since she was afraid to push Arizona away. But the blonde had come all the way to New York and if they were not going to address their divorce, it would end up biting them in the ass. Callie was sure of it. And on top of that, she did not want to run anymore.

The beginning of their talk had been rough, but slowly but surely, they managed to make a real conversation out of it. They even managed to agree on a few things.

Callie put her glass down on the table and turned to Arizona. Sitting on the sofa with her like this, talking about them, it almost felt like that last time in therapy. Only this time they were already separated, there was nothing to fight for. And there was no fighting. They were talking. They had never done this since that black day in their history, when Callie walked out on Arizona during therapy. And now, on this particular rainy night, over three years after their divorce, they were finally laying it all out. Without a therapist present. Without any pressure.

"I felt so stuck, trying to fix things was slowly killing me and I…I had to do something," she said, her eyes locked onto Arizona's and she did not let the gaze go. She needed Arizona to know she tried. Oh, how she had tried. "I wanted more for us, for you, for myself. I hadn't been myself for so long, I was just this…shell of myself. How could I expect you to settle for that?" Callie spoke slowly and deliberately, forcing back the tears she felt were coming.

"I never asked you to fix me. Or us. I was fighting for us too," tears pooled in Arizona's eyes and she bit her lip to stop herself from breaking into a sobbing mess. She had never been big on speaking about her emotions and doing this with Callie was about as fun as having a tooth extracted. But she did appreciate what her ex-wife was trying to do and agreed that it needed to happen sometime. Better get it over with, right? "I was desperately fighting for you to not leave me. You…you promised me you weren't going to run."

Seeing the tears in Arizona's eyes, broke Callie's resolve as well. Dark brown eyes fogged over with tears as she watched her ex-wife slowly become undone, much like she felt herself doing. She had never really thought about what Arizona might have felt. The pain she had felt was so great, it had clouded everything else. She had never realized the extent to which Arizona had felt Callie had left her. It had indeed been something Arizona had pleaded her to not do, more than once.

It was not like she had not realized that she had also hurt Arizona, but only now it dawned on her that Arizona might have felt Callie had left her. Even after promising she would not do that. "Our relationship….it became toxic. The harder we tried….the more it seemed to tear us apart. Every move we made just seemed to be in the wrong direction, away from each other instead of closer to each other. I needed to take care of me, to fix me."

"That was your conclusion," Arizona said softly. "That last night of the 30-day separation….I thought…I thought I felt you coming back to me." It was obvious from the look on her face that their divorce was still a painful subject. It was either that or Callie was still very tuned into the blonde's emotions. "It felt…," she sighed, her eyes searching Callie's. "It felt like I had no say." Her eyes averted their gaze for a moment while she regained her composure.

Callie expectantly looked at Arizona. This was difficult, excruciating, but it also felt cathartic in a way. They would be seeing much more of each other and it was important for them and for Sofia, to have this out of the way. She remembered that last night. How she had watched Arizona practice for her surgery, how her resolve crumbled and she all but pounced on the blonde. The sex they had had that night had been mind-blowing.

She had not meant to lead Arizona on in the slightest. She had acted on instinct, listened to her heart and body instead of her mind. Maybe it had been like a weird kind of goodbye. But she had not thought of the consequences of her actions at the time. At that moment, that night, she had wanted to be close to Arizona. She wanted to make love to her. It had not been her intention to give Arizona the wrong idea or false hope. She had not had any intentions really, not apart from wanting to be with the blonde.

The way she felt about that night was still confusing. She was not sorry for making love to Arizona. The need she felt for Arizona that night was all-consuming and if she could go back in time she would probably do it again. She was sorry for hurting the blonde with that action though. She had not thought any further than right that moment.

"I know…" Arizona continued, slowly turning her gaze back to Callie's. "I know I made mistakes, we both did. But I was in it, I wasn't done. I…I wasn't ready to let go."

Callie's stomach was in knots. Arizona had said those things in therapy, but at the time, Callie had already made her decision. She had been going over what she was about to say and even though she had listened to the blonde speak, she had not given Arizona's words the time to really sink in. She had not rushed her decision, far from it. But hearing Arizona say those words again, moved her way more than she dared to admit.

After what felt like forever, Callie spoke up again. "You deserved more than what we were left with," she said softly, resting her hand on Arizona's arm in an attempt to soothe her ex-wife. "So much more. We both did. We both still do."

Arizona's breath hitched in her throat and she sighed deeply, trying to compose herself. They both reached for their glass and took a sip, taking a moment to deflate the situation a little. Trying to relieve some of the tension that was building up.

"I had to leave," Callie said after a short silence. "I needed to do that, for me."

When she looked at Arizona, she realized she had struck yet another nerve with her. She could see the blonde fighting hard to keep her composure and it made her want to reach out and hold her until everything felt better. But that was not her job anymore. In fact, it had never been her job.

Their job now was to work on their teamwork as co-parents. And preferably work on their friendship. Callie was one hundred percent sure she wanted Arizona back in her life as a friend. She had not allowed herself to miss Arizona, but she realized now she had missed the blonde more than she could have imagined. And not even in a romantic way.

"I understand that now," Arizona said, her voice on the verge of breaking. "But to me…it...it felt like another decision you made without asking me. Like I couldn't decide about my own life." Her eyes trailed to Callie's thumb, which was still gently brushing across her sleeve. "It felt like you weren't listening to me, to what I wanted and needed."

"I see that now," Callie said softly.

"You do?" The surprise was not only evident from Arizona's face, even her voice went up as she spoke.

The dark-haired woman chuckled and nodded. "I tried so hard to do what was right. I realize now that I was micro-managing everything. I was just….I was afraid to fail, afraid to lose you. I honestly thought that if I did the things the way I thought they should be, I could…I don't know…fix us. In my mind, I just had to give more of myself to make things go back to how they were. But I had nothing left to give." She sighed and looked at Arizona with regret in her eyes. "I can see now that it might have made you feel like you had no say or that your opinion didn't matter. I'm sorry."

Arizona was listening intently and Callie could almost feel her react to her words on a cellular level. The face Arizona pulled had Callie's mouth twitching into a smile, quickly followed by a slight giggle. Maybe it was the tension in the room, the complexity of the situation they were in, or just pure nerves, but Callie could not help but break into giggles.

"Why are you..?" Arizona could not finish her sentence before starting to giggle herself. When she regained some of her composure she tried again. "Why are you giggling?"

"Your…" Callie's giggles had not completely subsided yet. "Your face."

Arizona raised her eyebrow. "What's wrong with my face?"

"Oooh, there's nothing wrong with your face," Callie captured her lip between her teeth for a second before letting go and continuing her sentence. "Just…" She chuckled, obviously trying to not start giggling again. "The look on your face."

"You just…you never said that before," Arizona paused and looked at Callie's hand, still resting on her arm. She put her hand on her ex-wife's and gently squeezed. "Thank you."

Callie's lips curled into a bright smile. "I'm not the same person I was back then," she said. She had spent the past three years working on herself, taking care of herself, and trying to figure out who she was. And it dawned on her right now that it had done her a lot of good.

"Me neither," Arizona replied.

"Look at us," Callie said. "All grown up, adulting the hell out of this," she pointed her finger in between the two of them to indicate she meant their current situation.

Arizona chuckled. "We've come a long way."

"We sure did." She was about to speak up again, but when their eyes met, they just stared at each other for a moment. Callie's mouth had gone dry, so she swallowed hard before speaking up again. "Arizona…I…" she paused again. "I never got to…to.."

The blonde was practically hanging on Callie's lips, almost as if she was trying to drag the words out herself.

Callie did not get to finish her sentence though, because they were interrupted by a little girl standing in the doorway. "Mommy? Mama?" Sofia's sleep drunk voice filled the room and somehow instantly dissipated the tension.

"Come here, baby," Callie said as she motioned for Sofia to join them on the sofa.

Little feed padded on the floor and Sofia all but hurled herself on the sofa in between her mothers. She curled up and rested her head on Arizona's lap, while her feet went up on Callie's. "You're still here," she said as she looked up at her blonde mother.

"Yes, I am, little Miss," Arizona said with a bright smile while running her hand through the little girl's hair. "Did you have a bad dream?"

"No," Sofia said while looking up. "I just wanted a cuddle." She settled in between her mothers by wiggling around a little and closed her eyes.

Arizona's eyes met Callie's and the dark-haired woman shrugged. Without saying a word, they both agreed they would let their daughter have this moment. Callie gently rubbed her daughter's bare feet while Arizona continued running her hand through Sofia's hair.

They just sat there for a while in silence, all three of them just enjoying the moment. When Sofia's breathing deepened, indicating that she had fallen asleep, Callie spoke softly. "I'd like to continue this conversation another time if you are ok with that?" She looked at Arizona, patiently waiting for her to respond.

Arizona smiled and nodded. "I'd like that."

Callie nodded back at the blonde. She then slowly shifted so she could get up from the sofa. She took a short second to look at their daughter sleeping in Arizona's lap as if she was scanning the image for storage in her brain. "I'll take her back to bed," her voice was little more than a whisper, but Arizona heard her loud and clear.

"Yeah, it's getting late. I should head home."

The taller woman gently scooped Sofia up in her strong arms. The girl wrapped her arms around Callie's neck and rested her head on her mother's shoulder.

Arizona got up as well and placed a soft kiss on their daughter's cheek. "Goodnight, little Miss."

Callie carried Sofia back to bed and returned a few minutes later. Arizona had finished her glass of wine and had put the glasses in the kitchen. She stood in the middle of the living room and looked at Callie, looking a little antsy. "Thanks for dinner," she said as she picked at her fingers.

Feeling Arizona's discomfort, Callie decided to take charge by walking over to her ex-wife and wrapping her arms around the slightly smaller woman. "Thank you," she said while holding her for a moment. She could feel the blonde relaxing while they hugged. Mission accomplished.

When they both pulled back, just before their hug would have been 'too long', Arizona leaned back in and planted a kiss on Callie's cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow. Just let me know when you want to drop Sofia off, any time is fine with me."

Callie smiled, trying to hide that her cheek was on fire after Arizona's sweet gesture. "Alright." They walked to the front door together and Callie made a point of leaning against it while her ex-wife walked through. "See you tomorrow." She watched Arizona walk away. Just before moving out of sight, Arizona looked back and their eyes met. The blonde flashed Callie a radiant smile and held her hand up in a wave before stepping into the elevator. Once Arizona was out of sight, Callie released a soft sigh.

It had been hard, but she felt relieved. Once again, they had managed to just have a conversation without fighting. There were still a lot of things that had been left unsaid, but it was a good start. It made her hopeful. It made her heart hopeful.